Hey guys so I know I know it's on rocky rocks between Brucas at the moment, but hopefully this chapter gives you guys insight of why Brooke walked away.

I'm so glad you guys review my stories and I'm so glad you haven't given up one it or me. Love you all so much.

I hope you enjoy this chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own any One Tree Hill characters.

We were all sat at this large table of in the Davis house hold. Every time me was talking amongst themselves and all I could think about is it where's Brooke. Everyone else had turned up. One after the other, but yet Brooke isn't here yet. Was she coming? I swear she told me she would be here.

I kept glancing at the door and I sipped on my beer. Yet it didn't open. She didn't walk through it.

Rachel said she had called her three times and message her twice and got nothing back. Maybe she was travelling.

"She'll be here" Lily says sitting down beside me "she said she was coming and she will. Maybe her flight got delayed. It is thanksgiving"

Noone other than Nathan knows that we broke up and I know when Brooke arrives... If she arrives everyone would find out and then I'll get those looks of pity I wanted to avoid.

"I thought she was flying out two days ago" I reply. That was her original plan. But since college nothing has ever gone to plan.

And since we broke up I haven't spoken to her not once.

"Yo Luke no Brooke yet huh?" I shake my head "sorry man" Nathan gave a sad look and then turned back to Haley "maybe if you give her a call Hales" Haley nodded and dialled her number and got no answer.

"Voicemail" Haley stated hanging up.

And then we heard the fiddle of the door and my head jerked towards it to see the big oak door open and in walked Brooke with a small over night bag hanging off her shoulder.

"Sorry I'm late" she mutters walking further in to shut the door behind her "my flight got delayed and then we thought they were going to cancel, but luckily they didn't" she looked around and her eyes landed on Richard "Daddy" she ran over to him and her arms flung around his neck.

"Hi cookie" he replies wrapping his arms around her too.

After they pulled apart Brooke ran over to the girls "Oh my god I've missed you" she says as they embrace in a four way hug.

"I've missed you guys so much" Peyton and Rachel say at the same time.

"Me too" Haley adds

Then they pull apart "Hi Brooke" she turns around to Lily's voice "I've missed you"

"I've missed you" Brooke pulls her into a hug too "how's school? How's the ravens?"

"School is good. My grades are good and cheer is so much fun. I've gotten used to the title of captain now and we have our first comp soon"

"And I will be there. Send me the dets when you have them and I'll will be there"

"Hey Luke" my name always sounded different when she said it. It always made me smile. Her voice just made me smile, but since well you know it just makes my heart ache even more. This was killing me.

"Hey Pretty girl" I reply as she turns to me. I know right now she isn't my pretty girl anymore, but she will be again one day. To me she will always be my pretty girl "we didn't think you were coming"

"Oh I wouldn't miss thanksgiving. We made a pact didn't we" the group and I nodded "and I wouldn't break that. You know that" I thought I knew that, but we also made a deal of working through things and she just dropped our relationship when it started to get hard.

She never really said much to me after that. She was more texting on her phone which sent wild thoughts running around my head, but I had to push those aside and not jump to conclusions and besides it's not like I can be mad or anything. Right?

The rest of the day we ate dinner and played some games. It was late in the evening when the group decided to go down to the river court.

"Its nice being together again" Haley says sitting on Nathans lap.

Nathan looked to me and I looked down. No one knew Brooke broke up with me. I was just stood tapping my feet while Brooke was still tapping on her phone smiling. My heart sunk even more. Like she doesn't even care she broke it.

"As we are on the topic of being together again. Winter break" Rachel says "what we doing for it"

I saw Brooke look to the floor and then back up to the group.

"We should totally come back and spend it here. Go to the winter fair. Have cosy movie nights. It would be so much fun" Haley suggests

"Actually guys I have plans already for winter break" Brooke announces. All eyes turn to her.

"Plans? You already have plans?" with who?" Rachel asks upset

"The girls from my dorm are going away and they asked if I wanted to go too. I didn't think it would be a big deal. I came back for thanksgiving. Didn't think I had to give up winter break too"

"Give up? Are you serious Brooke? We don't see each other any more because of college and now you are spending winter break without us"

"We all chose to leave each other and go to different colleges okay. We all chose our dreams so that isn't on me" Brooke makes clear "I'm just trying to have a fun time at college and make new friends and my new friends have invited me on winter break with them"

"So that's it then you're bailing?" Peyton asks with attitude.

"We didn't make plans for winter break hence why I agreed to go with the girls. I'm sorry, but I'm not changing my plans"

The group went quiet and Brooke continued to tap on her phone smiling and it just annoyed me more than it should have.

"So whoever you're texting must be someone special to have you smiling like that Brooke" okay so my paranoid side of me came out.

She looked up at me and we just stood staring at each other for what felt like hours. You could cut the tension with a knife that formed between us when she left without a word.

"Okay what is going on?" Rachel finally asks "I mean I can not be the only one that noticed that you guys didn't sit next to each other at the table. You've barely even spoke and Brooke you've been tapping on that god damn phone since you arrived"

Brooke turned away and looked out at the river and the coldest of breezes flew past us "well?" Peyton added this time "what's going on?"

I let out the longest of sighs "we broke up" I announced since Brooke didn't say anything. I could hear them all grasp in surprise "well actually Brooke broke up with me last week. She came to visit and then dumped me"

"Well that isn't exactly true now is it Lucas" her eyes met mine and she uncrossed her arms. Her whole body facing me now "I visited as a surprise and caught Aria coming out of your room. I let you convince me again that nothing was going on with you and her, but then she confirmed that there was something between you at the college party I was dumb enough to agree to go too. I should have known"

"Known what Brooke? That I'm a nice fricking guy that was just being friendly with a girl mate that I met at college"

"Aaron even said she has been wanting you since you guys met and you've played along with it Lucas. You let her flirt with you which is why she does it. You never shut her or it down and you especially did not shut it down when I was standing right there beside you. You let her laugh literally in my face with the smugness she had over me"

I knew Brooke was right about that. I should have shut her down numerous of times I just... I just didn't and now it's cost me my relationship with Brooke.

"It isn't like that" I state looking back at her "you know it would never have been like that Brooke. You've been trying to find a reason to end this between us. Ever since college you have been trying to push me away. To break up and you're using Aria as your excuse. You know deep down I would never have hurt you like Julian did. I'm the good guy in this and you know it"

She just looked away and crossed her arms again. I know she knew I was right.

"Actually" Peyton started Brooke looked in her direction "Lucas is right you have been looking for an out since you both went separate ways. There has been times you've said it to us Brooke"

Brooke let out a little shaky laugh shaking her head in disbelief "well trust you to say something to back Lucas up Peyton and there's me thinking you'd actually be a good friend and have my back"

"Brooke I'm just..."

"Siding with Lucas" Brooke cut her off "this isn't my fault okay. I knew this was not going to work. I didn't I want to do this. I didn't want to do the long distance relationship you did and everyone around us convinced me it would work. Convinced me to do it. I asked you to come with me and you didn't want to which was fine, but we shouldn't have done this"

I stood in silence for a moment and just looked back at the girl I thought was meant to be my one, but just hearing what she had just said then maybe I was wrong. Maybe me and Brooke were only meant to be a high school romance.

"Brooke why would you even say something like that. If you actually loved him you wouldn't have given up so easily" Rachel chimed in "we thought you loved him enough to want to do the long distance stuff"

"No Rach it's okay" I jump in "I fell in love with you the moment I bumped into you in the cafe and I was lucky enough to be the one to save you from your crazy ex and I would have done anything for you. I would still do anything for you, but I now do actually think I love you more than you ever love me. Don't get me wrong I know you do love me I've always known it, but I just guess I love you that little bit more"

I could see that she was now showing more emotion as tears filled her eyes as she looked back at me not saying a word clarifying everything I had just said. My heart broke even more if that was even possible.

"I can't. I can't do this. If you're not going to fight for us then I don't know why I should. It's tiring fighting for something that the other person clearly does not want"

"Lucas it's not that I don't want this, want us, it's just that I can't focus on college, cheer, my major in fashion or anything if I have to wonder what is happening back in New York. I just want to focus on my college life right now" she explained and did it make me feel better? No. Does my heart still hurt? Yes, but at least she said something "I'm sorry that you're hurting that was the last thing I wanted, but my mental state and my insecurities are kicking my ass right now and I have to do me just for a little while. Please don't give up on us, I know it seems and sounds like I'm giving up, but I'm not I'm just taking a break to get me back. To get me to feel like myself again"

"Why haven't you just told me this before. Why did you make it seem like you were wanting to push me away for good like you couldn't have just told me that?"

She shrugged her shoulders and sits down on the table "it's been super hard moving away from home and not having my girls with me and trying to adjust to my new surroundings and making new friends which has been great, but I've just found it super hard to juggle everything and to also think about myself my own mental state. I've been in my head a lot which also happened when I visited you which is why I let Aria get to me more than I should have. I did use her as an excuse because I didn't want to admit that my insecurities and mental health haven't been great with this long distance stuff"

"I also didn't want to do anything that would permanently end things between us. I just find it hard Lucas. I just need sometime to enjoy college life and not have to worry about anything else so please if you can just give it time. You go and enjoy your college life too. We are broken up so don't think you can't have the experience that single college guys do. And don't think of it as a Julian thing because that is and was different. I love you Luke I do and I know you love me so much"

"So you want to see other people?" I ask wanting a better understanding of what she was saying. Brooke nodded "but wouldn't that break us up permanently?"

She shakes her head "no because I believe in fate. I believe we met because you were meant to save me from Julian and the life I didn't actually want. You saved me from my Mom too. I believe if we were truly meant to be together we'll find our way back to each other again. It could be in a years time, 5 years or even a couple months, but I think we need this Lucas. I think I need this"

"Okay" I walk towards her and kneel down in front of her. She stares down at me and a tear slowly falls down her cheek "I'll do this for you Brooke because I want to give you the space and freedom you need. I love you so much and don't you forget that okay"

She nodded "okay. I love you too" I couldn't help myself so I leaned up and kissed her one last time pulling away she let out a small sob.. I didn't realise she was hurting so bad mentally. I just wish she had spoken to me about it "just do me one little favour" I nodded "just please do not sleep with Aria"

I smiled and nodded back "I wouldn't even if you didn't ask me too. I told you she's just a friend to me"

"Brooke we are here for you to talk to at anytime day or night. You really don't have to deal with anything alone. We get it and we understand that you moved away alone and hat it was hard to adjust. We just... We don't want you hurting at all. Please talk to us if you need too" Haley says walking over and giving Brooke a hug.

"I know" she says wiping away a tear "I'm sorry how MIA I have been. I'm just... Its just been so hard to adjust and juggle everything"

"It's okay we understand how hard it must be for you. We're sorry we've pushed so hard" Rachel says also hugging Brooke.

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Roch xoxo