EPOV
"Bella... I was joking!" I said.
I was shocked. Why would she take it seriously!
And why the fuck I had to say that!
"I didn't find that funny." she said.
"Well, I'm also not finding it funny right now." I shook my head.
"So... That planted a seed of doubt in my head even if it didn't look like a big deal to me at that particular moment." she said, "But then every single thing began to appear big in my mind. And we were in a long distance relationship, so that was no help either!"
"I fucking can't believe this." I said, "You could have clarified it."
"What am I supposed to clarify?" she said, "I thought you were pretty clear about your view on marriage. And we were relatively new in the relationship, so I didn't want to sound pushy! It's a different story that I completely turned myself into something else!"
"Bella... You have no idea how mad I'm at myself right now." I said.
"There is no point in that. I'm not even sure why we're discussing this." she said.
"And then you came to know that you were pregnant... You came to tell me, and you found me with... God! Why am I such an idiot!" I sighed.
"I could still have told you." She said, "Just because you decided to move on didn't mean I had a right to keep the news of your baby from you."
I didn't know what to say.
I was a fucking idiot!
"But then I remembered something I had heard Dad saying to Mom... He said the only reason he had stayed in their marriage was James and I..." she said, "I didn't want you to feel anything like that. I didn't want my baby to think that her father stayed only because he felt that was the right thing to do. I didn't want that kind of thing for myself."
"Bella... You're the worst overthinker I've ever met in my whole life!" I said.
Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, but I couldn't help myself.
