When Geralt and Jaskier made their way downstairs for breakfast that morning, they found the Pankratz family already sitting at the kitchen table. To Geralt's amazement, Grammy looked fresh as a daisy, humming to herself as she sipped her morning coffee. Poor Mary, meanwhile, bore the signs of a night of hard drinking; her complexion pale and her eyes puffy from lack of sleep and dehydration. Albert looked grumpier than usual, glaring at his morning paper as he ate his muesli.
"Morning," Jaskier greeted them, patting his mother tentatively on the back. "Did you have a fun night?" When Mary groaned, he grimaced. "A little too much fun, perhaps?"
"We had a wonderful night," Grammy assured them, rising to her feet. "You boys sit down, I'll grab you both something to drink. Geralt, what do you take in your coffee?"
"Black, no sugar," he replied, sliding into an empty chair.
"Ah, but you don't need any extra sugar, do you, dear?" Jaskier simpered. "You're sweet enough already!"
"Aww, you two are adorable," Grammy gushed, missing the bemused expression on Geralt's face. As she poured water from the kettle, she noted lightly, "While we're on the subject of fun, I believe the babymaker finally worked its magic last night!"
There was a collective groan at that. Geralt kept his expression neutral but he could feel the heat rising up the back of his neck.
"Grammy," Jaskier groaned, burying his face in his hands.
"What?" she replied innocently, placing a mug of hot chocolate in front of her grandson and handing Geralt his cup of coffee. "We're all adults here, aren't we? Everyone at this table has had sex. Why, your mother and father wouldn't have been here, otherwise. Neither would you, for that matter, Jay."
"It's too early in the morning for this," Albert grumbled.
"And don't think I haven't noticed you two keeping each other at arm's length," she continued in an accusatory tone. "You don't need to hide being affectionate to one another on my account, or anyone else's, for that matter."
Jaskier cringed. "Grammy, it's not that big a deal."
"It is," Mary croaked. "Your grandmother is right; this is your home, Jay. It's your home too, Geralt. I want you both to feel comfortable here."
"All I'm saying is that you two have been so tense since you arrived," Grammy argued. "I'm just relieved that you're both finally starting to relax and enjoy your holiday!"
Jaskier sighed and his hands slid from his face. "You're right, we haven't given ourselves the chance to relax. What with the wedding and everything…"
"I've told you boys already, don't worry about planning the wedding! Your mother and I have that covered." When Mary mumbled something unintelligible, Grammy patted her on the hand and chuckled, "On second thought, I think you'd be better just going back to bed, dear. Looks like it'll just be me and Al making arrangements today."
Albert looked up sharply from his newspaper. "Me? What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"You can sail me to the mainland so that we can post wedding invitations, for starters. And we still need to order a cake, book the photographer and videographer, caterers, hair and makeup…"
"I don't know anything about any of that stuff."
"You really expect me to do it all on my own?" she pouted. "Me. An nonagenarian. I could be dead any day now, but no, send me out to the field like an old work horse, why don't you!"
"Alright! You've made your point," he snapped, pushing himself away from the table and rising to his feet. "I'll go get the boat ready."
"Thank you, dear!" Grammy simpered. As Albert exited the kitchen, she turned her attention to Jaskier and Geralt. "So, what do you boys have planned for today?"
"Well, since you and dad will be busy on the mainland…" Jaskier turned to Geralt and asked, "Fancy going horse riding today?"
Geralt raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You want to go horse riding?"
"Why not?" he shrugged. "You said you'd never done it before."
Geralt felt an unfamiliar, though not entirely unpleasant, fluttering sensation dance across his stomach. He had mentioned that to Jaskier, hadn't he? Geralt was surprised that he would remember such a small detail like that. Then again, that was Jaskier's job, wasn't it? Perhaps he shouldn't read too much into it.
"You've never ridden a horse?" Grammy gasped. "Oh, you must try it, Geralt! And you won't find a better teacher than Jay, he's been riding almost as long as he could walk."
Geralt experienced an uncharacteristic spike of excitement but responded with a casual shrug. "Sure, why not?"
After breakfast, Geralt and Jaskier headed in the direction of the stables and paddock.
"I suppose we should listen to what Grammy and my mum were saying. If we want to make a more convincing couple, we're going to have to be more affectionate with one another," said Jaskier.
"Yeah, makes sense," Geralt murmured.
"We don't actually need to go horse riding, if you don't want to," said Jaskier. "I just thought it'd be a good excuse for us to get out of the house and revise those questions that immigration services are going to quiz us on."
"Oh." Geralt was quiet for a moment before shrugging. "Well, we're almost at the stables, and I'm perfectly capable of multitasking."
Jaskier flashed him a brilliant smile and walked faster. "Alright, then! Come on, let me introduce you to the gang."
As they approached the stables, four horses came into view. In the first stall was a white gelding, its coat shimmering like silk in the early morning sun.
"This handsome fellow is Pegasus," said Jaskier fondly. He approached the pale horse and rubbed its neck. "Hey boy, it's good to see you! Has Matholm been taking good care of you?"
Geralt moved closer to the horse in the second stable, a bay mare with an ink black mane. Slowly, it turned its head and eyed him with curious, big brown eyes.
"Who's this?" he asked.
"That's Roach," said Jaskier. "You can pat her if you like, she won't bite."
Geralt hesitated. "I don't know how."
He half expected Jaskier to mock his inexperience. Instead, Jaskier gave Pegasus a parting pat on the shoulder before moving closer to Geralt. He took Geralt's hand into his own and slowly held it up to Roach's neck. "Keep your movements slow so that you don't startle her."
Geralt was surprised how fine and smooth Roach's coat felt beneath his fingers, even more so at how warm and firm Jaskier's hand felt on top of his own. He was finding it difficult to concentrate on Jaskier's instructions with his assistant and husband-to-be standing so close to him. They'd already slept together, for gods' sake, he shouldn't feel this nervous. But then again, there was a big difference between a one-night stand and what they were doing. Normally, you'd sleep with someone first before meeting their family and proposing marriage. What they were doing defied labels.
After Geralt got better acquainted with Roach, Jaskier showed him how to attach the saddle. He helped him mount the horse before taking hold of the reins and guiding Roach slowly out of the stable into the paddock. Geralt couldn't help but grip tightly onto the rein as Jaskier walked slowly around the perimeter. He could feel the horse's muscles bunch and release beneath him with each step forward, her head bobbing in a hypnotic, rhythmic motion, up, down, up, down.
Jaskier turned to look at Geralt. "How are you doing up there?"
Geralt grunted, tensing his thighs as Roach tipped him from side to side. "It's still better than sailing."
Jaskier laughed and shook his head. It felt good to see Jaskier smile again, Geralt thought. Even better to be the reason behind it. After circling the paddock a couple more times, Jaskier led Roach back to the stables and prepared Pegasus for riding.
"Ready to take this to the next level?" Jaskier winked at Geralt and motioned towards the gelding.
"I think I've had enough horse riding for one day."
"Come on," he implored. "We can ride together! I'll even let you sit up front."
Geralt needed a little persuasion, but Jaskier managed to talk him around. Pegasus was shorter than Roach, but of a less docile nature. He whinnied and shook his head impatiently as Jaskier mounted the saddle, his crotch pressed firmly against Geralt's buttocks.
"Was this why you wanted me to ride with you?" Geralt enquired.
"Not the only reason," Jaskier teased, pressing his thighs on either side of Geralt's bottom to keep him steady.
Reaching around Geralt's shoulders to grip the reins, Jaskier kicked off hard and Pegasus took off across the field as fast as his legs could carry him. Geralt yelped in surprise at the sudden acceleration, causing his arse to skid backwards on the smooth leather saddle. With each stride, his rear would nudge insistently against Jaskier's crotch. If there was an alternative reason for Jaskier doing this other than to get the two men up close and personal, it certainly eluded Geralt. When they reached the edge of the woods, Jaskier slowed Pegasus's pace to a canter and then a trot, only coming to a full stop when the fields were obscured from view with trees.
Although it was still early in the morning, the sun was already hot on their skin. Shade from the trees provided a welcome respite. Jaskier tied Pegasus's rein onto the low hanging branch of a nearby tree and the horse busied itself with grazing the tall grass at its feet. Meanwhile, Jaskier and Geralt made themselves comfortable under the shade of a large oak tree. Jaskier sat cross-legged, rifling through a pile of papers on his lap, while Geralt lay flat on his back with his eyes closed, dozing in and out of consciousness.
"Okay, we've got a lot of questions to get through," said Jaskier. "Let's start with something simple: where and when did we meet?"
"In the office three years ago," Geralt replied. "When I hired you to be my assistant."
Jaskier nodded. "Good idea, we're better just sticking to the truth wherever we can. It'll be easier to remember things that way. What else…uh, okay, this is a tougher one: when did we start dating?"
"A couple of days ago," Geralt replied without bothering to open his eyes.
"Funny," said Jaskier sarcastically. "And when did we first kiss?"
"Last night."
Although Geralt's eyes were closed, he could feel the withering look that Jaskier had trained in his direction. "If you're not going to take this seriously…"
Geralt sighed and rubbed his tired face. "Fine. Ask me again."
"Okay, when did we first kiss?"
Geralt thought for a moment before answering. "At the Vizima Book Fair. I'd just prevented our company's biggest client from being poached by one of our competitors, so we went out for drinks to celebrate. We had one too many scotches, we confessed our feelings for each other, and we kissed."
Jaskier nodded approvingly and scribbled in his notepad. "Okay, good! That's a good start. And when did we start dating?"
"About a year ago," A small smile graced his lips. "You put your phone number on my morning coffee and asked me to call you sometime."
Jaskier snorted. "Poor Mislav. God, he probably thinks I've ghosted him after he gave me his number. I'll have to apologise when we get back to the city."
Geralt's smile faltered. "I suppose when you get back, you could always give him your number."
Jaskier didn't answer straight away. "I guess so."
"Next question," said Geralt, keen to change the subject.
"Um…oh, here's a good one. What's the name of your first boyfriend or girlfriend?"
Geralt frowned. "Why do you want to know that?"
"It's the immigration office that's asking, not me," Jaskier reminded him.
Geralt grunted before replying, "Very well. My first girlfriend was called Yennefer. My first boyfriend was Eskel."
"You had a girlfriend?" asked Jaskier with interest.
"You sound surprised."
"I am," he admitted before joking, "I thought you were a virgin." Geralt groaned and as Jaskier continued to tease him, "I mean, you're literally married to your work, I'm surprised that you have time for a relationship."
"What about you?" asked Geralt. "Was Pris your first girlfriend?"
"First proper one, yeah."
"She was at the stag do," said Geralt. "I talked to her for a bit. Seems like a lovely girl."
"Yeah, she's a good person," Jaskier replied noncommittally.
Geralt opened his eyes and looked up at Jaskier, whose expression was uncharacteristically closed off. "She did nothing but sing your praises all night."
"Hmm."
"I can see why you two were together," he chanced. "You seem like a good fit."
"That was a long time ago, Geralt," said Jaskier flatly.
Geralt hesitated before asking, "I understand that you moved to Tretegor because you wanted to get out from under your father's shadow, but I have to ask, is she the real reason that you left Oxenfurt?"
Jaskier screwed up his face. "What? No! Of course not."
"I had to ask."
"You really didn't," he huffed.
"Have I annoyed you?"
"Oh, nothing gets past you, does it, Geralt?" Jaskier replied sarcastically.
Geralt sat up on his elbows. "I don't think you can blame me for wanting to know more about the man I'm going to marry in a few days' time."
Jaskier drew him a curious look. "We're going to be divorced again within a few weeks, so what does it matter?"
"I know that," said Geralt, quietly embarrassed that he'd momentarily forgotten their arrangement. "But you're the one that keeps saying we should get to know each other better—for the interview."
Jaskier threw his head back and stared at the canopy of leaves above his head as though asking a higher power to give him strength. "Priscilla is a good person, and I cared about her deeply, but when it came down to what really mattered to us, ultimately, we wanted different things from life. She's a homebody and that's fine—for her. As for me, I was leaving Oxenfurt regardless of what she chose to do."
"So, it wasn't a broken heart that made you run away to Tretegor?"
Jaskier let out a dry laugh. "No. Definitely not."
Geralt shrugged and lay back on the grass. "Okay."
"Okay?" he repeated. "We're done with the interrogation, then?"
Geralt rolled his eyes. "It wasn't an interrogation—"
"Moving on," Jaskier cut in. "What side of the bed do you sleep on?"
"Left side."
"Thank god for that, I'm a righty," said Jaskier, turning back to the papers. "Oh, this is a fun one: what's your favourite tv show?"
Geralt thought for a moment before shrugging. "Dunno, I don't really watch television."
Jaskier gaped at him. "What do you mean you don't watch television?"
"I have better uses for my time than sitting down for hours on end watching brainless nonsense."
"I'll have you know that Cintra's Next Top Model is quality, award-winning programming. Next you'll tell me that you don't watch movies, either." Geralt's silence confirmed Jaskier's worst suspicions. "Okay, we have two objectives this week: to get married, and to watch My Big Fat Nilfgaardian Wedding."
"Do we have to?" Geralt groaned.
"If we're going to convince anyone that our union is the genuine article, then yes, you need to watch all of my favourite rom-coms," Jaskier argued. "Sleepless in Sodden, How Ermellia Got Her Groove Back, Redanian Holiday…"
Geralt rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut as Jaskier proceeded to rhyme off a list of his favourite movies. It was an extensive list, and Geralt was certain that they wouldn't have enough time to watch all of them this week, but he was learning that it was better just to say nothing than to argue with the man.
After seemingly running out of movies to add to the list, Jaskier asked, "Alright, next question: what's your favourite song?"
"I don't have one," Geralt admitted.
Jaskier looked mortified. "Don't tell me that you don't listen to music either!"
"I do! Just not as much as you do, evidently."
Jaskier shook his head in disbelief. "Alright, your favourite book, then. You must have a favourite book."
Geralt whistled. "Too many to count, really."
"Humour me," Jaskier pressed. "Pick one."
After careful consideration, he replied, "The Heart of Stone series. I've read them several times."
"Never read it," Jaskier admitted. It was Geralt's turn to draw him a shocked expression, but he chose to ignore it. "Do you have any hobbies?"
"Is work a hobby?" Geralt joked.
"No."
"Then no. Well, I do enjoy playing Gwent on occasion."
Jaskier smiled. "I like playing Gwent, too. I'm not very good at it, but maybe we can play a game later? I think I've got an old deck of cards in the treehouse."
They sat there under the trees watching the sun crawl across the sky while answering questions about each other: did they have any childhood pets, their first impressions of each other, their fears, their dreams. Geralt couldn't recall when, but at some point, Jaskier had moved from his seated position to lying next to Geralt. The pile of papers had been abandoned.
"Have you ever had sex outdoors?" he asked.
Geralt cocked an eyebrow. "Is that part of the questionnaire?"
"Just answer the question."
Geralt smiled to himself. "Did it on the hood of a car once."
"Really?" asked Jaskier, intrigued.
"It's not as sexy as you think," he admitted. "Try lying spread eagle on a freshly waxed 1973 Ford Mustang. I was sliding all over the place."
"That's quite the image," Jaskier breathed.
"What about you?" asked Geralt. "Ever taken a tumble in the great outdoors?"
Jaskier didn't answer. Instead, he turned onto his side to face Geralt, his hand propping up the side of his head. The expression on his face, the way he was looking at Geralt, made Geralt's groin twinge with pleasure. Jaskier only hesitated a moment before reaching out and gently resting his hand on Geralt's stomach. Geralt didn't move a muscle. Wordlessly, Jaskier's fingers slid further south and cupped Geralt's growing erection, giving his cock a firm rub through the soft cotton of his trousers. Geralt sighed and closed his eyes, rolling his hips into Jaskier's hand, wanting to increase the intensity of their contact.
He motioned to turn onto his side so that he could kiss Jaskier, but Jaskier gently pushed him onto his back.
"Take your cock out," he ordered, withdrawing his hand, his voice thick and hoarse with desire.
Geralt was surprised at how bossy Jaskier could be but he was more than happy to oblige. He canted his hips into the air and slid his trousers and boxers past his hips. The cool summer breeze kissed his hot skin, making his cock twitch involuntarily. Jaskier crawled on top of Geralt, taking a seated position on his lap before pulling his own cock, hard and leaking, out of his shorts. Spitting in the palm of his hand, Jaskier lined their lengths together and began stroking them in unison. Geralt couldn't help the groan of pleasure that escaped his lips as Jaskier's dexterous fingers stroked them both closer to climax.
Geralt watched open mouthed as his and Jaskier's cocks, both flushed red and hard, slid back and forth noisily through Jaskier's hands. Wanting to make Jaskier feel good too, Geralt ran his hands along Jaskier's firm thighs, across his slim hips before dipping his hand beneath the waistband of Jaskier's shorts and brushing his index finger across Jaskier's hole. He smiled to himself as a shiver traversed Jaskier's body even at this slight contact. Jaskier tried to pull his shorts down but to no avail, so he quickly rose to his feet and stepped out of his shorts, tossing them over his shoulder without a second thought before straddling Geralt's hips again.
As Jaskier began jerking them off again, Geralt sucked on his index finger, lathering it up before pressing it against Jaskier's hole again. He circled Jaskier's entrance with careful, deliberate pressure, testing how far Jaskier's body would let him push inside. Jaskier moved his hips backwards, pressing against Geralt's finger in a silent invitation to push past the ring of muscles and slip inside of him. He took Geralt's finger easily, and the implications of that caused the fire pooling low in Geralt's abdomen to grow and spread. The thought of Jaskier in bed, fingering himself, pleasuring himself, made him feel lightheaded with arousal.
He continued to move his finger in and out of Jaskier, trying to match the rhythm of Jaskier jerking them off. Jaskier's movements were becoming increasingly jerky and uncoordinated, and it was only then that he was able to tear his gaze away from the obscene, erotic sight of their cocks sliding back and forth against one another to look up at Jaskier. The look of unbridled pleasure written across Jaskier's face sent a sharp spark of arousal through Geralt; Jaskier's dark eyes were almost black, blown with lust. His slack mouth, with pink plump lips just begging to be kissed, was panting ragged breaths. His hair, normally so tidy, was falling into his face, giving him the appearance of a beautifully debauched angel. Geralt his free hand to cup the swell of his arse, squeezing it tightly. Jaskier whimpered in response and increased his pace, pumping their cocks as fast as he could while simultaneously trying to fuck himself on Geralt's fingers.
Geralt was quickly losing control, grabbing at anything that he could get his free hand on, sliding it up under Jaskier's polo shirt to feel his smooth, bare skin, while digging his heels into the dirt so that he could buck up into Jaskier's fist. Unable to hold on any longer, Geralt grunted as he came, spilling his hot seed all over his shirt and Jaskier's hand. Jaskier used the cum as lubricant and let out a shuddering breath as their slick cocks slid through his messy fingertips. It didn't take long for Jaskier to follow suit, throwing his head back, gasping and moaning without restraint as he climaxed. It was music to Geralt's ears, raw and pleasure-soaked. He might not listen to music all that often, but he could happily listen to that sound all day, every day.
Jaskier's head lolled forward and he rested his chin on his chest, eyes closed and still panting as he struggled to catch his breath. Geralt gently traced his fingertips across Jaskier's body; he could feel the flutter of Jaskier's heart beneath his chest.
"I guess that answers my question," said Geralt lightly.
Jaskier huffed out a laugh and rolled off of Geralt's lap, flopping onto the grass beside him. "Like I said, it's easier to stick to the truth wherever we can."
"I'd be very surprised if Dijkstra asked about this."
"Me too," Jaskier panted. "Better to be safe than sorry though, don't you think?"
Geralt smiled. "Oh yes, I quite agree."
When Jaskier finally felt compos mentis enough to get redressed, he reached blindly for his shorts.
"Where the hell did I put them?" he wondered aloud, patting the ground. Sitting upright, he scanned the surrounding grass for his shorts, only to curse loudly and clamber clumsily back onto his feet. "Pegasus, no! Give them back this instant, I need them!"
Whether it was a stiff breeze that had blown the shorts away or Jaskier had tossed them further than he'd intended, Geralt couldn't be sure. Regardless, he couldn't suppress the laughter that burst out of him as he watched Jaskier, naked from the waist down, in a tug of war battle with his steed to retrieve said shorts from the horse's mouth.
"This isn't funny!" Jaskier cried.
Geralt was inclined to disagree with him on that. When Pegasus finally released Jaskier's chewed up and torn shorts from its mouth, Jaskier grimaced as he pulled them back on.
"How am I supposed to explain this?" he despaired.
"If anyone asks, just tell them that I ravaged you," Geralt joked.
"Hilarious," said Jaskier sarcastically. "I'd stick to the day job, if I were you."
"That's the plan," said Geralt.
Jaskier grumbled under his breath in much the same way his father did, but Geralt thought better than to point that out. With Pegasus's rein in hand, they chose to walk back to the stables. Evidently, Jaskier had had enough horse riding for one day, too.
