Chapter 14: "My love"

"It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight."

- Vladimir Nabokov.

Why was she crying? Such a question being asked by the only voice she had missed hearing for more than a month only brought more tears and a profound sense of relief. She quickly wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and saw how Kara was giving her a worried and tired look.

"Lena?"

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, it's just… I waited so long to hear your voice again" she kept wiping her tears away but they kept cascading down her cheeks.

"How long was I out?" Kara asked, her eyelids feeling heavy.

Lena took a deep breath "You were in a coma for 33 days" she confirmed as she waited for the blonde to process the new information.

"That's… a lot" Kara tried to move to get herself on a more comfortable position but her body ache everywhere, she couldn't avoid the groan that scaped her lips.

"Hey, easy, you're still recovering" Lena said while she gave Kara a little squeeze on her shoulder. "I should go and tell Alex you are awake".

"Okey, but please don't take long? I don't want to be alone" Kara sounded so small, almost afraid and Lena's heart clenched at the notion, she could still see how the blonde struggled to keep her eyes open.

"She's right outside, I'll be right back, I promise"

After that Lena crossed the glass doors, her eyes searching for Alex but founding Kelly instead.

"Where's Alex?" Lena asked with urgency.

"She went to call Dr. Simmons" after seeing Lena's troubled features she added "They probably won't take long".

Kelly was right, just a few seconds later Alex and Dr Simmons came running through the corridor.

"Oh God you're finally here!" Lena sigh "She's awake!" she added with a wide smile while the three of them entered the room where the blonde was the brunette leading them towards Kara's bed.

Kara was once again with her eyes closed so she softly shook her shoulder and whispered "Kara, your sister is here" but the blonde didn't answer, her eyes kept stubbornly closed. "Kara, darling" the brunette insisted this time her voice was louder, but no response came from her mate, her heart sunk and her soul was flooded by dread. She felt someone gently grabbing her arm.

"Please let me check her" – Dr. Simmons voice was sweet, the woman gave her a little squeeze to her arm before taking place besides Kara's bed.

Lena, Alex and Kelly observed while Dr. Simmons assessed Kara' state, the three of them containing their breaths.

"She's going to be fine" Dr Simmons finally stated and the three women were able to breath once again. "She's been in a coma for more than a month, for the next week she'll come and go from that state until she's strong enough to be completely awake, just let her rest, and whenever she's awake you should make sure she eats something, I'll make sure to give our stuff a list with her diet".

"Thank God" Alex mattered after Dr Simmons confirmation that her sister was going to be ok, when she looked towards Lena, she saw the relief washing over her face, softening her features while a few tears went rolling down her cheeks.

"I'll bring us some coffee" Kelly broke the silence that had settled after Dr. Simmons had left the room with promises of returning a couple of hours later to check Kara's vitals.

"You remember where the coffee machine is?" Alex softly asked.

"I'm not sure, but I'll manage, you stay here with your sister, she needs you" while she said the last words her eyes landed on Lena, it was all It took for Alex to realized what Kelly meant by that. Kelly then gave Alex a sweet kiss on her cheek.

"You're the best"

"I know I am" Kelly singsong while leaving the room.

"Lena?" the brunette was startled by Alex voice, since the moment Dr Simmons had left, she had been staring at Kara, but still not moving from where she was standing.

"For a moment there, I thought I'd lost her again" Lena's voice was almost a whisper, her voice broken by her emotions.

Alex came closer to her and guided the brunette towards the couch that they had brought in after learning about Kara's condition.

"Talk to me, I know this was difficult for you, but you have to talk to me Lena, even if Kara is going to be okey, you can tell me what you are feeling, you should stop bottling everything up like you did for this two couples of weeks" – she took one of Lena's hands in hers, and the brunette finally raised her head and made eye contact with her.

"I'm scared Alex…" she took a deep breath, steeling herself to continue. "What I'm feeling for her… I've never felt it before. I knew been in love was something that almost everyone would experience once in their life, but, it had never happened to me, and even if I had a notion of what love would feel like, this, this is so much more than what I believe it would be" Alex watched how Lena took her hand away from hers and started fidgeting. "What I share with Kara is love, but is much more than that, it's like, if my entire existence was based on meeting her, like before meeting her I was covered by this fog and the moment my eyes set on hers the fog disappeared and I was able to see clearly, and that Alex, that scares me"- the brunette swallowed thickly, but Alex didn't say anything she knew the brunette wasn't done. "I am afraid of losing her, because when I did, when our bond was lost, I felt empty, cold and alone, I felt like I used to feel before meeting her, and I'm not sure I can go back to feel like that ever again without ending up completely broken".

As soon as Lena stopped talking, Alex arms were wrapped around the brunette. At first Lena's body was stiff, but eventually she let herself relax returning the hug.

"Listen Lena, I can't say that I know what you are going through because what you and Kara have is special, but, I've lost people that meant the world to me, I've been in a dark place because of said losses, but once you learn how to cope with your feeling, you'll realized that everything was worth it, even if when you lose them the pain cuts deep, the fact of never loving them and share part of ourselves with them is way scarier. So, I tell you this not only because of my sister's wellbeing, but also yours, you Lena Luthor have found something than most people spend their entire existence searching for, you should embrace it, live in the present and don't let what could happen stop you from living what will probably be the best thing to ever happen to you, you deserve to be happy Lena"

As soon as Alex finish talking, Kelly was coming back with three coffees at hand.

"Should I come back later?" she asked politely, she knew Alex and Lena were having a heart to heart if the tears rolling down both their faces was any indication of it. Lena broke the hug first, her hands immediately going to her face to clean the mess, and Alex imitating the motion.

"No, Kelly, please stay, it's okey, Alex was just talking some sense into me" – the brunette reply and gave Kelly a sweet smile.

[…]

"Alura! Go! Go grab her! I'll be fine" – the man said while coughing. Kara was once again in the room from before, this time, with every breath she took she could feel the air burning her insides, she tried to look around but all she could see was smoke, all of a sudden, the door of the room was opened and her mother was running towards her. "Come on little one, we have to get out"- her mother picked her up, and run towards the stairs, dodging debris that came falling down due to the intensity of the fire. Kara knew how this ended, she tried to warn her mom but no matter how hard she tried no words came out from her mouth.

[…]

Lena was startled when from beside her, Kara gasped and screamed, she moved quickly and tried to calm Kara down. The blonde's eyes were wide open her forehead covered by sweat.

"Kara, you're fine, I'm here" she put her hand on Kara's cheek, her mate's sight more focus now, the blonde leaned on, enjoying the softness of the touch on her skin.

"I'm sorry" Kara said softly.

"You don't have to apologies darling, do you want to talk about it?" Kara could see it was late, the lights were off except by a lamp that was set at the corner of the room. Lena looked tired, there were bags under her eyes, and her eyes were red probably from lack of a good night sleep.

"I… actually, I can't remember what it was about, I know it wasn't something pleasant but…" even if she tried to remember what her dream was about, everything was blurry and when she pushed herself to remember, she felt a sharp pain in her head.

"Hey, it's okey" Lena interrupted as she tried again to remember "You should take it easy, Dr Simmons said your brain is still recovering and I can feel you're in pain"

"How long was I out this time?" she really hoped it wasn't that long.

"Just for a couple of days" the brunette answered almost with relief.

"I'm sorry" Kara said once again and Lena looked up, leaving the sight of their interlaced fingers to make direct eye contact with her and Kara swore she could drown on those mesmerizing eyes for all eternity.

"For what?"

"For leaving you. For making you worry. For taking me so long to come back to you" Kara knew that she was coming too strong too fast, but the thing was, that what she felt for the woman was like anything she had felt before. There weren't enough words on the human language that could describe her feelings, and even if she sometimes doubted about Lena feeling the same as she did, the look her mate was giving her at the moment and the fast staccato of her heart washed any doubt away.

It wasn't long before a single tear came rolling down Lena's cheek and what at first were little sobs morphed into a full whimper, her lungs overworking to get air in. With her right arm, Kara brought Lena closer, her head finally taking place on her chest while the blonde whispered soothing words to her ear. Almost half an hour later, the sobs had stop and were replaced by a shallow breath, Lena had finally fallen asleep after days of exhaustion. That's how Alex and Kelly found them an hour later, Lena still soundly asleep. Her sister gave her a slight nod and turned around giving Lena a little more time to rest.

If Kara was being honest, the first week after regaining consciousness was one of the hardest next to that week when she turned into a werewolf. Her body ache everywhere and her mind was still trying to process the fact that she was in a coma for more than a month.

Alex told her about Kelly, how she was supposed to tell her they were dating on the night she was shot, but never had the chance. Kara's heart ache at the prospect of her sister finding her bleeding out on Lena's office, just on the day she was probably flooded by joy. And then, there was Lena, sweet, selfless and caring Lena. Every time she needed something Lena was there before she even had the chance to outspeak her necessities. Night and day, when she had a nightmare, her mate was there to hold her and clean the sweat from her forehead, when her abdomen hurt, she was there to give her some painkillers, when she had to go to the bathroom, she was the one offering her small frame to support her weight. Then again, what worried Kara the most was how Lena's eyes reflected fear on them, how her features relaxed every time she opened her eyes as if relief washed her uncertainties away at seeing her awake, the fear of losing still ghosting over her, so Kara made it her mission to assure Lena every day, to let her know that she was there, with her, forever or for as long as she wanted.

Fortunately, after the first week Dr Simmons had confirmed that her system was silver free, Kara was able to feel the change almost immediately, her wound didn't hurt as much and the fogginess she felt in her head was almost gone.

"You might get release today if the CT scan results are normal" her sister told her while she read Kara's medical report and Lena smiled at her with a hopeful look on her face.

"Yeah, I'm ready to go home, sleep on my own bed and take a long shower, I'm not really a fan of this place…"

"I know, but you have to promise me you'll take care of yourself, maybe I should stay with you until you're fully recovered" – Alex knew how stubborn Kara could be and without someone there to take care of her, she probably would be going for a run or something on the next day after her medical release.

"No!" Kara almost yelled and her sister looked at her with a raise eyebrow and Lena jumped a bit at the outburst. "That's not necessary, Lena is staying with me, right?" her eyes searched Lena's hoping against all odds that her mate knew what she was trying to do, the brunette gave her an uncertain look and a second after Kara could see understanding sinking in.

"Yes, we talked about this last night actually" Lena spoke with confidence "you don't have to worry Alex, I'll take good care of her"

"Oh, I bet you will" Alex replied with a sheepish smile.

"That's not… I didn't…" Lena was sporting a slight blush and the tip of her ears were crimson red, Kara was mesmerized by her, she gave her a wolfish smile only making her mate's blush expand down her neck. "You know what, you two together are hopeless". Both sisters chuckle and Kara could swear Lena was slightly pouting. Cute.

"Okey, so it's settled then" Alex stated "but, I would like to ask a team to be outside of your apartment for a couple of days, make sure you're safe, at least until you're fully recovered and able of taking care of yourself. It's that okey?"

"Yes, sure. I mean, we know what Lex…" cold sweat run through the extension of her neck when she mentioned his name "we know what he is capable of now that he apparently knows my secret, so any help I can get is fine by me".

"Perfect, I'll let Agent Johnson know so she can prepare her team".

[…]

"Do you want to make the honors?" the blonde asked waving a set of keys she was holding. A week after Kara regaining consciousness they were finally at the blonde's apartment. Lena was tired, her back hurt like hell after long nights spent on a couch, the uncomfortable position only leaving her with a few hours of sleep.

"I'd love to" she took Kara's keys and opened the door, her shoulders immediately losing the tension as the comfy atmosphere surrounded her like a blanket. Both women took a deep breath at the same time and chuckle at the share action.

"I'm so happy to be home" Kara sounded relieved. Lena could see the bags under her eyes, probably due to the nightmares she had almost every night. Lena hoped that being in her home, sleeping in her own bed would bring some kind of comfort, and finally be able to get a good night sleep.

"I'm happy too. Are you hungry?" Lena asked after helping Kara to the couch. The blonde's stomach roared as if answering Lena's question. "Well, I think I have my answer, how does Chinese sounds? I'm craving for some potstickers right now"

Kara's eyes lighted up like a Christmas tree at the mention of potstickers "Have I told you how much I love you?" Lena froze. "I'm sorry, I…" Lena knew that what Kara said was a slip of the tongue, not carrying the meaning those words were supposed to have, but even so, her heart skipped a beat.

"No, it's okey, you don't have to apologies, I get it" She really hoped it hadn't just been a slip of the tongue, even if they had known each other for less than two months.

"Okey, cool" Kara answered while clearing her throat "should I order?"

"I'll do it, you should rest, maybe find something to watch while we eat?"

After that, things got weird, awkward even. Kara wouldn't make eye contact and they were mostly silent through dinner, the blonde only making some comments about how Hart and Fuller should have ended up together.

Once they finished eating, both of them felt exhausted, Lena yawned so much that she was afraid her jaw would get locked.

"Maybe we should take a shower and go to bed, I can sleep on the couch?"

"We can share the bed, it's not like we've never done it before" Lena hesitated "Only if that's what you want". Kara never ceased to amaze her, she always waited for her answer, for her opinion, never imposing her own wishes on her.

"Okey, you are right. Go take a shower, I'll clean this up" Kara gave her a sweet smile.

"Are you sure? I can…"

"Really, you are still recovering and I'm sure taking a bath it's going to be enough of a challenge for you, just yell if you need anything" she replied while grabbing the empty boxes from the coffee table.

"Thank you Lena, for everything"

"Any time darling".

About half an hour later they were in bed, both looking into the ceiling, surrounded by nothing but the sound of cars on the street below. It was almost 9 PM, early to go to bed but they were more than ready to catch some sleep, yet neither of them did, the awkwardness still present. After a few minutes Lena broke the silence.

"It's okey if you do, you know" her voice was almost a whisper, afraid of what she was about to confess.

"If I do what?" Kara sounded confuse.

"If you…" she gulped, her throat feeling as dry as a desert all of a sudden "if you… love me".

"Oh" she heard a gasp coming from her side, but she couldn't take her sight from the ceiling too afraid of what she would see reflected on the blonde's eyes. She steeled herself to continue, she had to be brave, she was Lena fucking Luthor, she could do this, she had made men and women crawl to her knees asking for forgiveness, she could do this.

"Because I… "she couldn't do this.

"You what Lena?" it was asked with such softness, that Lena was able to feel the hope behind the question.

"I love you" her voice sounded so shallow in her ears that she was afraid Kara hadn't heard them, she finally looked to the side to find Kara watching her with such reverie that her breath got caught in her throat, she held her breath, waiting for as long as she had to.

"I love you too" the brunette released the breath she was holding.

Kara then leaned in, painfully slow, her eyes set on Lena's lips, the CEO was the one closing the space between them, their lips molding together in a sweet and deep kiss, her bodies pressed melting in pure bliss after more than a month being apart. When their kisses became more heated Lena heard Kara's labored breathing, with all of her willpower she broke the contact, her hand settling softly on the blonde's chest.

"We should stop, you're still recovering and we are both exhausted" Lena said while trying to ease her breathing.

"Yeah, you're probably right, my limbs feel like Jell-O"

"Probably? I'm always right" Kara chuckle before grabbing Lena by her waist, the latter happy for finally being able to be the little spoon, a few minutes later they were both fast asleep, enjoying each other's warmth.