Author's Note: Why, hello you there. Here I am, late again with this chapter. I've decided to quit trying to decide where to go with this story, honestly. Every time I thought I was done with this, some plot would happen and words were pouring out. It's a struggle, I'll tell you.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Nope. Nyet.
"So, how you wanna do this?" Paul asked. "We can take your car or my bike."
Or... there was another option, actually. One that, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He would never offer it to anybody else — had never done it before — but he'd seen Kim and Jared do it before and... and maybe he kind of wanted it with Bella, too.
"Or I can give you a faster ride." There, he offered. No taking it back.
"A ride?" Bella wondered; mouth opened in shock. She understood then. Good. "Like- you mean your-"
"Yeah, sure," he agreed, trying not to make a big deal out of it. No reason to tell her she would be the first and only person he ever suggested to mount on him like a horse.
He could see her excitement at the suggestion, and for a minute there, he thought she would take that pick, but it faded away into a look of uncertainty just as fast.
"I'm cool with whatever you think it's best," she responded, instead.
Fuck no.
"Are you answering that because you really don't care whichever way or because that's what you think I wanna hear?"
And there it was, the shame. If those bloodsuckers ever came back, Paul would kill them. One by one. Slowly. Painfully.
"No- I," she began rapidly, but when he raised an eyebrow in disbelief, she took a deep breath and backtracked. "You. Please."
Paul froze his expression the way it was with a force of will he hadn't known to possess to prevent the smoldering look of desire he knew should be gracing his features at the moment from making its appearance. Those words. God, how he could imagine her saying them in a hundred scenarios, all of which would involve different levels of nudity.
"Alright, then," he breathed in agreement, only when he was sure his voice would not crack. "Look, just, just hold tight, alright? Don't be fucking afraid of hurting me or some shit like that."
Paul needed to make sure she understood how important the message was, yet was unsure how to properly instruct her. How could he tell her what to do when he had no idea how any of it was supposed to go?
"Once I shift we won't be able to communicate so easily, but if you decide you don't want to do this anymore just... just say so."
Instead of worried, though, Bella looked amused at his words, and as he kept speaking, a smile started to blossom on her face.
"Paul, are you nervous?" She asked, somewhat cheeky.
"I'm serious, goddamit," Paul cursed, frustrated. "I'll be going fast, and okay, maybe it is a short way 'till there, but something could still happen. You have to pay attention to the movement; when I turn, don't fight it, alright? Kind of like the bike, you just have-"
"Hey, hey!" Bella interrupted, stepping closer to him while still fighting the smile on her face. "I'll be fine. Honestly, I wasn't aware you were the fretting type."
Fretting type? Was she kidding?
"I'm not-"
"You kinda are, though," she insisted. "What's the deal here? If you don't want to, we don't have to do it."
Of course he wanted to, wanted her to be the one doing those things with him. He just hadn't realized how much the thought of seeing her shy away in fear of his wolf form turned his stomach. It wasn't rational. Bella had every reason to be afraid of all supernatural creatures, and Paul had lunged for her the very first time they met, and still, he hoped she would see him for something other than an enormous beast who had the power to greatly harm her.
"No, no, that's not it," he said, running his hand through his hair and deciding to go for it. Bella would react the way she would react, stalling would do nothing. "Just give me a second, I'll go shift. Do not move."
"I'll wait here," she agreed, sounding excited once again.
Good. Maybe that was a good sign.
Paul chose the nearest tree to hide as he hurried to get off his short, tying it around his ankle and taking several deep breaths to focus. Usually shifting was too easy for him — easier than it was for any of the others — but with his mate so damn close... it took a few tries before he erupted into his other form.
Knowing better than to run towards her, Paul took his time turning around and heading her way. It was impossible to look non-threatening when you were a gigantic wolf; however, it couldn't hurt to go extra slow.
When he finally locked eyes with her, he saw none of the fear he had been dreading but mentally preparing himself for. In its place were several emotions Paul hadn't dared to hope for: excitement, curiosity, surprise, and the very best of 'em all, wonder. Seemingly unconsciously, she raised her arm to reach for him, almost as if to check that he was real. Paul could do little else but to lower his head and allow the touch.
"Wow, this is, wow," Bella said in a hurried whisper. "God, it never ceases to be amazing."
Her hands touching his fur felt different than when she touched him in human form. Now he was much more sensitive to it, more... just more.
"Your fur is so soft," she carried on. "This is so unfair. I bet you do absolutely nothing at all to care for it."
Paul almost laughed at that. She could be so random at times.
"You'll have to give me a little help if you expect me to go up there. I don't know how you've done this in the past, but I certainly cannot jump that high."
Right, other times. Yeah, he probably should come clean about that with her later on. No use having her thinking he did that with a bunch of random people — although it was a somewhat puzzling thought. Who did she think he did that with?
Paul lowered his body until he was laying on the ground, trying to make it as simple for her as he could. Still, he watched her carefully. He knew Isabella Swan's record; anything could result in an injury where she was concerned. He watched as she stopped for a moment to consider how to best do it; he watched as she shrugged and just grabbed his fur and went for it; he watched as she struggled to swing her left leg to the other side of his body; he watched as she cursed under her breath; and finally, he felt as she went behind him and sat down completely.
"I'm good," she said, holding him with both hands. "I'm good. Let's go."
Alright, someone was eager. Far it be from Paul to deny his mate of anything she desired, so he pushed himself up from the ground, adjusting his balance to accommodate the foreign weight on his back. It was strange, having someone on top of him while in wolf form, but not unpleasant. Bella hardly weighed anything at all, and the way she gripped him harder when the movement shook her body was definitely an unexpected bonus.
"Oh, okay, that's weird. Don't go too fast, will you, I want to keep my eyes open."
Okay, Paul thought, let's do this.
"This is a pretty high cliff," Bella stated, and Paul could easily see she was trying to sound braver than she felt.
She was right; it was a damn high cliff. Being so high was the reason Paul liked it as much as he did — if he stood at the edge of the rock in just the right position, he could nearly imagine how flying must feel. The whole world beneath your body. He also loved to jump. The smaller cliffs the kids around the res insisted on jumping from were barely high enough to be worth the effort to get there. No, this was what Paul needed when his thoughts refused to settle and his temper threatened to overwhelm his entire being.
Sure, from time to time, he went there with the pack to chill and jump, and it could be great fun with them, too, but he mostly came alone to watch the sunset and organize his ideas. Having Bella there, examining the — his — cliff with a half excited and half terrified expression painted quite the impactful picture, and Paul knew without a shadow of a doubt that her face would flash in his mind whenever he went there in the future.
For a second, it was terrifying. She had walked around his house, Emily's place, Jacob's, his goddamn job, and now this, his favorite place. Bella had officially taken over his entire life without any true effort on her part. What if she decided to fucking leave La Push — Forks — behind and Paul was left with nothing but a sack of places he would never have peace in again?
"Do you actually jump from here?" She asked, probably forgetting that Paul was still in his wolf form and would be unable to give her any type of spoken answer.
After a few heartbeats, in which Paul carried on trying to control his all-over-the-place emotions, she seemed to notice the lack of response and turned to face him, only then remembering that he had yet to shift back.
"Oh, I forgot," Bella said softly, shaking her head and smiling to herself — as if exasperated by her own forgetfulness. "Well, do you jump from here?" She repeated the question, this time looking him in the eyes and waiting for an answer — apparently unbothered by his status as an overgrown wolf. An overgrown wolf who once pounced at her with what she could only assume was aggression. Yet there she was, calmly waiting for him to keep a conversation going between them, despite the form he took.
The burning feelings took hold of his chest once again, and Paul, unable to do anything but, bobbled his big head up and down — hoping she got that yes, he did jump from there and yes, he liked it a whole lot.
She must have got it because her tiny smile turned to an impressed blown out all-over-her-face smile.
Damn, if Bella ever left Paul would have absolutely no chance of an existence any longer. There was just no chance.
"Uhhh," she whistled. "That's kind of amazing, to be honest."
It was too much; Paul needed his speech ability ASAP. Enough was enough. He turned and went towards the nearest tree, needing to shift back but still having some sense left in him that argued against doing so in from of her.
"Okay then, I'll just wait here for you. You rude dog!" Bella called, showing more sass at that moment than all other times Paul had seen her combined. He liked it.
In a flash, Paul shifted and dragged his short up his legs, already turning back to his mate as he closed the zipper and popped the button. Having her out of his sight was a huge no-no now.
"Rude dog?" He dared, eyebrow raised as he walked back to where he left her. In the back of his mind, Paul noticed that she hadn't as much as moved an inch in the two minutes it took him to shift. She was still turned to him, exactly like before.
"You did just abandon me here for a flash."
"Dramatic much? I simply thought you weren't ready for the amazingness that is the sign of my naked body."
Surprisingly, all she did was roll her eyes in good humor. Paul was uncertain if he should be offended by that or not.
"Come here," she commanded, pointing to where she meant. "Is that a-"
"Yeah," he agreed, looking at the strip of sand below. "But the only way to get there is by jumping."
"That's a pretty high cliff..." She repeated. "Let's be honest here, how likely is it that I'll die if I jump?"
"Not gonna lie, it wouldn't kill you, but it would hurt a whole lot," Paul admitted, standing next to her to watch the sea. "Why? You thinking of jumping?"
"Isn't that why you brought me here?"
"Yep," he popped the word out. "To jump. With me."
Her expression instantly turned mischievous. "Well, perhaps I would like to do it without a strong man to hold my hand."
Oh, little Bella. You chose the wrong man to tease.
"Is that so?" He said, turning to face her completely. "Well, wish granted."
He waited just long enough for the comprehension to flash on her eyes and panic to start settling in before he stretched his arms and pushed her off the cliff. It was a free fall, Bella began to scream, and it was impossible to know if it was in fear, surprise, elation, adrenaline, or something else. It didn't matter, Paul jumped after his mate, knowing his weight would push him down faster and counting on it.
It had been a risky move, sure, but Paul lived for the rush of adrenaline and frankly, she had almost dared him to do it. It was okay; he wouldn't miss. Knowing his mate would get hurt if he did miss was a surprisingly compelling incentive. He angled his body in her direction and grabbed. The water was getting close and Paul was ready — Bella's body was cocooned in his, fully secured, although she still screamed.
"Deep breath," he screamed back, praying she had the mind to listen to his command even in her panic.
They hit the cold water, Paul's body breaking the impact first, going under quite a few meters before he was able to begin swimming up. Being a wolf, it was almost too easy. There was no confusion, no difficulty, he knew exactly towards where he needed to swim and even the sea offered little resistance against his force. Bella was struggling against his hold, though, and it was no little feat to swim while trying to hold her close without hurting her or worsening her panic.
When they reached the surface, she gasped for breath like a dying fish, arms flailing ridiculously as she fought against nonexistence resistance.
"Relax," he said, giving her a few seconds to calm down before he began to make his way to the sand. "I'm not letting you go."
The second she stepped onto firm land, she shook him off, stumbling out of the water on her own.
"You asshole," she spluttered, dripping wet and shaking with cold. "You gigantic asshole."
"Rude," he sing-songed, a grin plastered on his face. "Wet is a good look on you, though."
When she only glared harder, Paul added, "Don't need to try and pretend to be mad."
"Pretend? Are you even being serious right now? You just threw me off a cliff into the coldest damn water, with my clothes on."
"You'd have preferred I'd taken them off first?" Paul couldn't help himself, with such an opening. But it was tentative, always so fucking tentative with her.
Bella blushed. Of course she did, it was Bella and that was her thing. Still... it made her skin flush and delicious — a true temptation if there was ever one. With her clothes clinging to her body and a fire burning behind her eyes, Paul could hardly pretend to feel anything other than desire. He was sure it was stamped on his face too, no doubts.
"Shut up," she said weakly. Hardly a serious protest. "You are such a jerk."
"Never said I wasn't, babe."
Slipping. Paul was slipping so fast.
"I bet you say that to all the girls," Bella joked, but she was sliding her eyes down and it didn't sound like a joke. Paul wished he could be bothered to lie to her.
"I don't," was what he said, face completely serious.
It was ridiculous to show so much of his hand when she had yet to show any sign of attraction toward him beyond the usual appreciation all girls seemed to naturally have for any of the pack. But there he went, saying more than he ought to once more. It was a terrible habit he appeared to have whenever Bella was concerned.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked, still not looking him in the eyes and Paul tried to gauge how she was feeling despite the lack of clues.
"I guess."
"Why did you bring me here?" Bella began, finally raising her eyes and allowing him to see the curiosity, the confusion, shining on them.
"You know why. I wanted you to see the good bits of being a wolf."
"Don't give me that," she rejected, with a flash of anger. "Why are you doing this with me? Jake says you never take time to make friends or see people, yet here you are, teaching me to ride a bike, and giving me sandwiches, and allowing me to mount on you in your wolf form..."
Paul's breath caught in his throat as he tried to come up with a plausible enough answer to satisfy her without giving too much away. It was far too soon for her to know, she wasn't ready. He wasn't ready. And yet... the bond.
"I find you interesting." Paul went with that, although it was such a small part of the truth that it almost felt like a lie on his tongue. "Not a lot of people catch my interest."
And there, there, after all those days Paul had been waiting without realizing what for, Bella gave him what he needed. The smell of arousal coated the air, an intoxicating small that stirred something deep within him that felt almost scary for being so good. He wanted to growl, and rumble, and purr, and kiss, and touch, and feel, and lick, and all that she would allow him to do.
Until that moment, Paul hadn't noticed how much he needed to know that she wanted him that way. That it was a possibility for them.
He was so lost in his discovery that he almost missed her question. As it was, it took a minute to process what she was asking.
"Why here?" Bella asked, curling up on herself to try to get some heat back inside her body.
Paul wanted to answer, he did, but hadn't he bared enough as it was? He had taken her there with him, which in itself was already more than he would've thought himself capable of, so if she wanted more out of him, than she would have to give something.
"You first," he said, not surprised when she seemed to understand what he meant with no further explanation. For once, the damn bond was working in his favor.
"I hate school," Bella began, twisting he nose in contempt. Then, before Paul could comment on that, she laughed. "God, I sound like such a teenager saying that. I don't hate school. I'm just-"
"Ready for the next step?" Paul filled the gap after he watched he struggled for a couple of minutes.
"Yeah," she breathed, sending a grateful smile his way. "I mean, I have no idea what the next step will be for me, but there must be something more than going to Forks high-school and trying to avoid the people there like the plague."
Curious, Paul couldn't not ask. "Why are you avoiding everyone?"
"Are you kidding? Ever since- I mean, since-," she stuttered, twisting her hands in a nervous gesture, before taking a deep breath. "Since they left, I became the freak who mingled with royalty and got cast behind. They either gasp at me like an animal on the zoo or they give me a wide berth, as though I have some kind of infectious disease."
God, those fucking bloodsuckers were so goddamn dead the minute they stepped back into Forks. There wouldn't be enough to build a fire when Paul was done with them.
"No one normal?" He tried, not able to believe there wasn't a single decent human being in that school.
She grimaced. "There's Angela and Jess, but I... well, let's just say I burned those bridges."
Ah, self-destructiveness was not an unfamiliar concept for Paul.
"I came here before the change," he said. "Couldn't jump, of course, but I used to sit up top and plan different ways in which I could get here with some supplies to just... live here."
"Live here?" She wondered, looking around at the small strip of land surrounding them. "Not the most fancy of places."
He shrugged. "Wasn't looking for nothing fancy. I just wanted to get the fuck away from my house."
"Paul."
The way his mate breathed his name out, as she looked at him with immeasurable amounts of compassion swimming in those gorgeous eyes of her, slammed down all sorts of playful comments he had ready to use in those kinds of situation. Instead of the defense-mechanism-through-sarcasm thing he usually did, Paul winced a little, saddened by his own sad childhood.
"Ended up becoming a routine to come here," he said, instead. "I watched countless of sunrises from the cliff, wondering how it would feel to sit here, hidden from the rest of the world."
There were so many openings there for her to take, so many ways in which she could dig. Her question, when it came, was nothing of what he had imagined.
"Ana?"
"Ana did what she could," Paul said, and couldn't hold back a small smile as he spoke about her. "She's an amazing woman. Raised Jared on her own since birth, and still took me in without a second thought when my father was arrested. Stormed into the police station and demanded they released me into her care — wouldn't shut up about it until they did, too."
"She seems great," Bella agreed, not without a tingle of admiration on her voice.
"She is. Couldn't have asked for a better person to raise me, actually," Paul said. "She sure did have her hand full between me and Jared, though."
A particularly strong wind passed through, making Bella shiver hard, although he could see she was doing her best to prevent it. She took one good look at him, at his already dry chest, and managed to look so damn wishful he almost cracked a smile.
"You know," Paul began, leaning his torso back to support his weight on his hands. "Repressed desire is a very sad thing to witness."
She blushed a gorgeous shade of pink, her eyes widening with surprise.
"Wh- what? What? I don't-," she sputtered, tripping on the words in her heist to get them out.
Paul had to remind himself that laughing of one's mate was a wrong, wrong thing to do.
"If you want to touch me, then go for it."
"You never allow people to touch you," she pointed out, once again with that look of deep concentration on her face, almost like she was trying to figure him out.
It was a valid point, though. Paul wasn't a big fan of physical contact with people — unless it was about sex or fights. He just couldn't help but shy away from other's touch when he'd seen how quickly a loving and simple touch could transform into a violent, aggressive one. He learned to avoid it, to build the aloof persona that made people hesitant to approach him... but Bella, well, Bella was always the exception, he was quickly realizing.
Seeing her restraining herself with him was the opposite of what he wanted. So, with that in mind, he shrugged.
"I'm allowing you."
It was just his luck that Bella seemed to be in a brave mood and instead of blushing and retreating, like he half expected her to, she breathed deeply a couple of times, almost reading herself, before she raised her hand, closing the space between them with her palm, and moving to rest it directly on his chest, right above where his heart was.
Her touch was light, as if she expected him to flinch away as soon as it connected — which he didn't, of course. No, Paul wanted to shift closer and rest some of his weight on her cool palm, but was too busy desperately trying to still his pounding heart. There was no way she couldn't feel how goddamn hard his heart was beating underneath her hand.
The symphony of their furious hearts beating together flooded his senses, almost blocking all other noises around him. His hot skin felt a thousand times hotter in comparison to her human touch, and it was glorious. Paul stilled his moves completely. He wanted, needed, her to keep touching him for as long as possible.
"Your heart," she whispered, so low Paul wouldn't have heard it was it not for his enhanced senses. "I can feel it."
That was when he realized that she was probably used to touching the bloodsuckers, who, of course, had no beating heart to speak of. That was most likely just as much of a novelty for her as it was for him.
Why wasn't his heart slowing down?
"Can I-," she asked, moving her head and not taking her eyes off her hand currently touching him.
Paul didn't understand what she wanted exactly, but the answer was leaving his mouth all the same.
"Sure," he agreed, once again surprising himself with the responses of his body. His voice had never sounded so raspy before.
If she noticed the difference, however, Bella never mentioned it. On the contrary, almost like in a trance, in slow motion, Bella silently lowered her head and laid it right where her hand had been moments before, her ear pressed against his chest. It had to be an uncomfortable position for her, with her legs still crossed at an appropriate distance away, but Paul would never dare to mention it.
He wanted so badly to wrap his arms around her middle, to rest his chin on top of her head, to breathe the smell of her hair... the only thing holding him back was the fear of spooking her and breaking the moment. Bella was touching him on her own free will, how could he risk it?
Paul took a deep breath, fisting his hands to stop them from moving on their own volition. It was so hard to keep himself from touching his mate when she was so damn close.
"Repressed desire is a very sad thing," Bella mumbled against his skin, her hot breath tingling on his chest hairs.
He stifled a surprised laugh at her boldness, enjoying both the chance to meet sassy Bella and the express permission to touch her too much to dare offend her.
Instead, Paul reached for her, pulling her middle closer to him easily and wrapping his arms around it. For the time being, he would enjoy every second of the chance to have Bella in his arms, anything else could be dealt with later.
AN2: There we go. God, they are so darn cute! This was such a happy chapter to write; hope y'all love it!
