It was the last day of Grade 4, and Joe was waiting for Katrina to come home from school; they were going to spend the evening at a dinner with the rest of the family.

Finally, there she was, strolling down the sidewalk in her green tee and overalls; "petite Luigi", he had joked when he saw her at breakfast. "Salut, ma belle," he said. "Es-tu prête pour y aller?" (Hey, sweetie. Are you ready to go?)

"Yeah," said Katrina, climbing into the car. As the two clicked their seatbelts on, she started up about what she had done at school that day. "Before they let us do our own thing until the bell, they told us we were gonna learn a special lesson, and then they showed us a bunch of gross facts about the body."

Oh, merde… A cold zing ran down Joe's spine; he had been dreading this day for years. "Est-ce qu'ils vous parlent de puberté?" (Did they tell you about puberty?)

"Yeah, I think that's what they called it."

Joe put a hand over his chest and took a deep breath. He could do this; and hey, he at least had a head start. "La puberté, c'est les changements dans ton corps qui se passent quand tu transitionnels d'un enfant à un adulte." (Puberty is the changes in your body that happen when you transition from a child to an adult.)

"I got that," said Katrina. "But not much of the other stuff made sense."

"D'accord," said Joe. "Tu peux parler avec moi à propos, et quand nous arrivons chez ta grand-mère, tu peux parler avec Marie et Tatie Gina." (Okay. You can talk to me about it, and when we get to your grandmother's, you can talk to Marie and Aunt Gina.)

As they drove, Katrina had lots of questions. "Well, first of all, they kept saying that all the girls are gonna get really emotional when we have our puberty."

"Eh bien, c'est presque vrai," said Joe. "Tu vas avoir des hormones qui peuvent affecter tes émotions, mais pas toutes les hormones vont être comme ça, et les garçons vont les avoir aussi." (Well, that's kind of true. You'll have hormones that affect your mood, but not all hormones are like that, and the boys are gonna get them too.)

"Did you get them, dad?"

"Oh, oui, j'avais," chuckled Joe. "Quand j'avais douze ans, il n'était pas une semaine où je ne pleurais pas à propos de quelque chose de petit." (Oh, yes, I did. When I was twelve, there wasn't a week where I didn't cry over something small.)

That made sense, thought Katrina. "Does it hurt when you're bleeding?"

"Mais oui, ma belle." (Of course, sweetie.) Joe answered. Then he realised what she meant by "bleeding". "Oh, ça. Je…n'ai aucune idée. Tu besoin de parler avec ta tante et ta cousine propos de ça." (Oh, that. I…have no idea. You need to talk to your aunt and your cousin about that.)

"Why, doesn't it happen to you?" Katrina cocked her head.

Joe couldn't help but laugh. "Non, et si ça se passe, tu as besoin de me prendre à l'hôpital." (Nope, and if it does, you need to take me to the hospital.)


When the two arrived at Amélie's house, Joe directed Katrina towards Gina and Marie to talk. "Elle s'apprit à propos de puberté aujourd'hui," he explained, "et elle a beaucoup des questions." (She learned about puberty today, and she has a lot of questions.)

Understanding completely, Gina brought Katrina to the lounge room to talk. "Écoute à moi, p'tite," said Gina, "la majorité des choses qu'ils te enseignent en école propos de puberté est nul. La meilleure source, c'est tes membres de famille qui s'experiencent ces choses." (Listen to me, little one, most of the things they teach you about puberty in school are crap. The best source is family members who've experienced these things.)

"Firstly, they act like everyone is going to go through the same things," said Marie. "You don't. Everyone hits puberty differently. For instance, I've stayed mostly the same height, but my friend Lillian shot up like a rocket."

"Alors, l'acné," continued Gina. "C'est plus facile de se prévenir si tu lave ton visage quand quelque chose se rend sur. Les choses comme la terre, la sueur, et la graisse de nourriture." (So, acne. It's easier to avoid if you wash your face when something gets on it. Things like dirt, sweat, and grease from food.)

"Zits are the white ones with heads that can pop," said Marie, "while blackheads are little specks of dirt that get stuck in your skin and are a pain to get rid of. Is this making sense?"

"Uh huh," said Katrina, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

Gina picked up a stray notepad to write down a shopping list of sorts. "Ceci c'est les choses dont tu as besoin," she said. (These are the things that you'll need.) She wrote down the types of pads and acne cream that she and Marie used.

"Now, about the big red thing," said Marie. "The bleeding itself doesn't actually hurt. It's just a pain to clean up after."

"Les crampes vont faire mal," said Gina, "mais elles ne vont pas être là tout le temps. Une compresse chauffante va faire des miracles sur des crampes." (The cramps will hurt, but they won't be there all the time. A heating pad works miracles on cramps.)

"And you'll probably be very hungry when it happens, so once you have an idea of when it happens, try to stock up on snacks beforehand."

Just then, Amélie came downstairs. "Le dîner est prêt, mes filles." (Dinner's ready, girls.)

Gina put her hand on Katrina's knee. "As-tu compris?" (Do you understand?)

Katrina nodded, and trailed after her grandmother to go eat.


That Sunday, Joe and Katrina went round to the store to pick up the things on Gina's list. When they got home, Katrina went upstairs to the bathroom to put them away. When she opened the cabinet under the sink, she found a pink package of Padme pads plunked behind the drain cleaner. "Dad, I thought you told me you didn't get periods!"

"Je n'avais pas," said Joe, coming upstairs, "qu'est-ce que tu parler propos?" (I don't, what are you talking about?)

"Then why are there pads underneath the sink already?"

Coming into the bathroom, Joe saw the package in her hands. "Oh, ces serviettes. J'oublierai qu'elles étaient là." He knelt down next to his daughter. "J'achèterai ces serviettes si Gina reste ici et son cycle a commencé." He pointed her towards the date on the packaging. "Si elles étaient mon, elles ne seraient pas ici depuis 2015." (Oh, those pads. I forgot they were there. I bought those for if Gina stays here and her cycle starts. If they were mine, they wouldn't have been here since 2015.)

Satisfied with that answer, Katrina packed all the pads away under the sink. "I still don't understand why you don't get a period."

Joe sighed. "Regardez, ma belle, j'étais tout juste préparée pour parler de puberté. S'il-te-plaît, attendre jusqu'à l'ecole milieu pour parler de sexe." (Look, sweetie, I was barely ready for the puberty talk. Please, wait until middle school for the sex talk.)

Katrina shrugged as her father left the room. Man. Grownups are so weird about their own bodies.