The events in this chapter may or may not have been inspired by my new favourite Pixar movie.


Act natural.

Katrina smiled awkwardly through her breakfast. She had woken up to a bloody mess in the bathroom, and after the initial surge of panic, realised that she had her period now. Dad didn't get one, so he wouldn't understand, and so he absolutely could not know.

"Est-ce que tout va bien, ma belle?" (Is everything alright, sweetie?) Joe was confused as to why his daughter was so on edge.

"Uh, yeah," said Katrina, stuffing the last of her toaster waffles into her mouth.

Joe shrugged; maybe this was just tween girls being weird. "Alors, tu vas commencer la cinquième année demain, es-tu excité?" (So, you're starting Grade 5 tomorrow, are you excited?)

"Uh huh," said Katrina. "A bunch of kids told me that Mme. Larousse is really nice." She snarfed down her last bite, put her plate in the sink, and rushed back upstairs, where she was safe.

She flopped down on her bed face-first. This sucked. She couldn't talk to Claire or Annie; Dad would hear her on the phone. Nor could she call Tatie Gina; she would tell Dad outright.

Now what?


The next day, Katrina arrived at school for her first day of her last year of elementary school. The next year, she would officially be a middle school kid, and oh boy, was she excited. She couldn't wait for big lockers and specialised classes for each topic.

When she got into the classroom, she felt a pang of pain shoot through her stomach like a bolt of lightning. She winced; this must be those cramps that Tatie Gina told her about.

She slumped into a sensible desk near the front of the row. Ow.

"Bonjour," said Mme. Larousse, looking up from her desk. "S'appelle-tu Mlle. Katrina Beaufort?" (Hello. Are you Miss Katrina Beaufort?)

"Oui," mumbled Katrina. Ow.

"Es-tu va, ma belle?" Mme. Larousse sounded like Dad when she said that. (Are you alright, sweetie?)

Well, great. Katrina didn't really know how to explain her situation in French. "Crampes," she muttered. "Crampes de la période." (Cramps. Period cramps.)

Mme. Larousse caught on. "Oh," she said. She went over to a cabinet against the second wall and picked up a cushy-looking thing. "Ceci va t'aider." (This will help you.)

Katrina pushed the button, and the thing turned on; it was a portable heating pad. She pushed it against her stomach. Oh, that's nice. She put her head down on the desk and relaxed her shoulders.

"Au fait, le terme correct c'est 'douleurs menstruelles'," said Mme. Larousse, going back to her desk. (By the way, the correct term is "douleurs menstruelles".)


At home, Joe had gone upstairs to retrieve his phone that he had left in the bathroom, when he found the cabinet under the sink left wide open. Inside, he found the package of pads he and Katrina had bought in June split wide open.

Oh non. Oh non. Joe put a hand over his heart. Why didn't Katrina tell him she had started her period? Now she was at school, and she didn't have any extra snacks, or anything to help her with cramps. She might not have even brought extra pads!

A knock at the door distracted him. Von Kaiser was waiting for him when he got downstairs. "Bonjour, Viktor," he said shakily, kissing his boyfriend's cheek.

"Du siehst nervös aus, ist etwas nicht in Ordnung?" (You look nervous, is something wrong?) Von Kaiser cocked his head.

Joe sighed. "Katrina a commencé son cycle menstruel aujourd'hui." (Katrina started her period today.)

"Oh." Von Kaiser tensed up and straightened his back. His only close female relative was his five year old niece; he had even less experience with this than Joe did!

Joe shook his head. "J'ai pensé qu'elle me dire quand c'est se passe." (I thought she would tell me when it happened.)

"Nun, wissen Sie, das ist eine sehr persönliche Sache für sie. Wahrscheinlich will sie es privat halten." Von Kaiser put a hand on Joe's shoulder. (Well, you know, this is a very personal thing for her. She probably wants to keep it private.)

"Je sais," said Joe softly. "J'ai juste…pensé qu'elle me dire tout." (I know. I just…thought she told me everything.)

"Sie wird erwachsen; Sie will ihre Privatsphäre. Als ich in ihrem Alter war, habe ich meinen Eltern kaum etwas erzählt." (She's growing up; she wants her privacy. When I was her age, I barely told my parents anything.) Von Kaiser brought Joe to the couch to sit down. "Aber sie will dich immer noch. Denn egal wie alt sie wird oder wie viel Ärger sie bekommt, du bist immer noch ihr Vater und sie liebt dich immer noch." (But she still wants you. Because no matter how old she gets, or how much trouble she gets in, you're still her father, and she still loves you.)

Joe looked up at Von Kaiser with his gentle brown eyes, and laid his head on his shoulder. How was it that he, a childless man, had so much good advice for him, a single father?


At lunchtime, Katrina gazed across each classroom, looking for an empty one to just sit and be by herself. The only one that was totally empty was her old kindergarten classroom, and even then, Mrs. Jennings was still there.

"Hello," said Mrs. Jennings when Katrina came inside the room. "Long time, no see."

"Uh huh," mumbled Katrina sitting down in a chair that was now too small for her.

Mrs. Jennings blinked. "Is there something on your mind?"

Katrina looked up and sighed. "I got my period yesterday and I don't want to tell my dad."

Mrs. Jennings came to sit in the too-small chair next to her. "Why don't you want to tell him?"

"He doesn't get it," said Katrina. "He doesn't know what it's like."

Mrs. Jennings crossed one leg over the other. "You know, Katrina, you have probably one of the most realistic views of your parents that I've seen in kids. You know that your dad gets scared sometimes, he doesn't know everything, and there are things that make him squeamish." She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Your dad is a regular guy who just happens to be your dad, and it's normal to see that. He isn't perfect, and neither are you."

Katrina said nothing. She simply reached into her bookbag for her sandwich. It was cold cut turkey on white bread; at least that was still the same.

"When it first happened to me, I didn't want to tell anybody about it." Mrs. Jennings chuckled. "I didn't even tell my mom. But she found out when she noticed her pads were going missing, and so she sat me down and told me "Linda, it happens to almost every little girl on the planet, and it's horrible, but it does not mean you are a bad person". And I live by that."

Well, of course, thought Katrina, she's your mom. Dads aren't the same.


When Katrina got home from school, she found Dad and Von Kaiser sitting together on the couch. Dad beckoned for her to come over. "Je savais propos de ton cycle. C'est…c'est correct si tu ne veux pas de me parler à propos, mais si tu veux, je vais écouter." (I know about the period thing. It's…it's okay if you don't want to talk to me about it, but if you do, I'll listen.)

Katrina quietly sat down on the couch next to her father. And later that evening, when the family was watching the new episode of Life with Johnny in California, Katrina randomly started bawling her eyes out upon seeing the family's new puppy. "Katrina, c'est juste un chiot," said Joe, "pourquoi es-tu pleure?" (Katrina, it's just a puppy, why are you crying?)

"He's so cuuuuute!" After a big, shaky gasp, Katrina asked her father, "Is this what hormones are?!"

Joe couldn't help but chuckle while holding his daughter and rubbing her back. "Bingo."