Dirt & Grit
Chapter 5
Three weeks later…
I wrang the wet clothes out over the grass as I shivered from the wetness on my hands before hanging them up to dry over the embers of the dying fire. It was near the end of October, so the weather was getting colder, which meant things around the Nomad's camp would be more difficult.
I breathed in deeply as I called upon my aura to heat my body, allowing me to fight off the cold, expelling visible breath from my mouth. I used whatever time I could to practice it, following Amon's instructions.
"Your aura is a muscle, and like every muscle, it needs to work out consistently if you want it to get stronger," Amon said while sitting on the steps of a random caravan.
"Use your aura for everything; walking, running, jumping and even taking a dump. The more you use it for mundane shit, the more it will compensate and get bigger." He finished while taking a drag from a cigarette.
I only nodded as I listened to him while swinging a stick around, following the movements he had shown me. I tried to keep my aura on and use it to enhance my swings.
I gasped as I felt something break inside me, and I bent over to catch my breath for a minute; I closed my eyes from the shock before straightening back up.
Amon stood up from his seat and threw his cigarette on the floor, crushing it with his foot as he began walking away from his spot.
"Go help with chores, and when your aura comes back, go back to what you were doing." He said as he went off to God knows where leaving me alone to recover.
I grunted in anger at the memory, "…Barely teaching me anything…need to kill them…waste of time…." I muttered as I hung up the last of the laundry to dry. I took a step back to ensure they were all hung up neatly, so Rozalia didn't tell me off again for leaving it all crumpled up.
I breathed in deeply to make my aura disappear to allow the cold to bite me again before turning it back on to heat me back up.
I need to get stronger now…I can't keep messing around.
All I could see when I closed my eyes were those sick yellow eyes laughing at me and the howls of monsters.
I heard neighing and looked over to where the horses were grazing a bit away from the camp. One of the younger horses was being squished between two of the other larger horses to keep it safe and warm.
I stared for a moment before turning to walk away back to my caravan but nearly bumped into something smaller than me, causing me to double-take.
"Hey, Grit~ what are you up to?" Said the girl, smaller than me by about two inches.
"…Going back to my room," I said, walking around her before she spun around to follow me.
She caught up to me to walk next to me, "Don't you mean our room?" She replied teasingly.
I stopped to pinch my nose. "What do you want, Neo?" I said to the tiny girl who couldn't seem to leave me alone as I recalled first meeting her.
Rozalia led me to a different caravan than the one I woke up in on the first day we walked past it. It looked a bit bigger than the other one, which she explained was their medical caravan only for those in critical condition.
I noticed that the few other children who were here had started watching me more and more curiously from when I finished meeting Amon. It was unusual for him to take an interest in anyone, let alone train them.
'If only they knew what a pile of garbage that old man was.' I thought as I remembered his harsh words.
Eventually, we made it to another caravan made of dark red wood and illuminated by the candles outside the door.
"We don't have enough caravans to give you your own, so you will have to share with another child." As we stood outside for a moment, she said, "She is the same as you. Perhaps you will get along, yes?" Walking up the stairs, she knocked twice before entering.
"Neo, are you in?" Rozalia called out into the caravan, where I couldn't see from the position at the bottom.
"Yeah, just reading!" A high-pitched voice called back out. Rozalia fully entered the room and gestured for me to follow her, which I did.
As I walked in, I first noticed the hammocks stacked on top of each other at the end of the room, a dresser was next to the door nailed to the floor to stop it from falling around, and a bookshelf was fixed above it containing four books. A mirror and a tub of half-eaten ice cream were on top of the dresser.
However, what caught my eye was the tiny girl sitting on the edge of the top hammock, swinging her legs and smiling at Rozalia, who walked over to her to stand between us.
The little girl cocked her pink-haired head at me before her pink-coloured eyes widened in…delight? She looked over to Rozalia.
"Is he my new roommate?" She asked giddily while Rozalia turned to me.
"Yes, he is, this is Grit, and he will stay with you from now on, Neo." She walked away back to the door while gently pushing me towards her. "Be nice~!" she said as she closed the door, leaving us in awkward silence.
I didn't care enough as I went to the bottom bunk to rest after today.
"Not even going to say hello?" The now-named Neo called from the top bunk as I settled in and tried to find a comfortable spot.
"Hm," I grunted, rolling over to look at the wall trying to ignore her. However, she would not be put out as I felt a poking in my back trying to get my attention.
It worked as I rolled over to glare at her, "What?" I bit out spitefully.
She put her finger on her chin as she thought about what she wanted to say before shaking her head, "Nothing. I was just wondering what's the deal with the bling?" Neo pointed at the necklace and bracelet I was wearing.
I tucked my necklace into my shirt and pulled my sleeve over the bracelet, "None of your business, now leave me alone; I don't want to be bothered by some kid." I grumbled before turning back over.
I heard her giggling. "Kid?" She laughed, "I'm ten! How old are you supposed to be?" She asked, sounding like she was getting closer and closer.
I sat up in shock, "You're ten? How? You're smaller than me!" I shouted, pointing the finger at her, which she pushed out of the way.
She ignored my outburst and leaned closer, "Come on~ how old are you? You look like a little baby." She cooed as she was now in my space.
I stared at her for a bit before looking away. "…I'm eight…and I'm not a baby!" I exclaimed, trying to prove something.
But what? I didn't know.
She squealed as she brought me in for a hug while I tried pushing her away, "Aww~ you are just a baby; come here and hug me! I'll protect you, little baby~!" She sang as she fought against my resistance to get her away from me.
"GET OFF OF ME!" I yelled, trying to push her away.
"No!" She laughed as she pushed further and further into my space.
She skipped around me while she hummed a tune I couldn't recognise before she stopped next to me. "Hmmm…no reason. I'm bored and thought it would be fun to annoy you." She revealed with a grin, easily keeping in step with me.
I could only groan as we passed by a campfire with adults and children sitting around it-
-Fire everywhere, blood spilt all over the ground, blood, blood, why was there so much-
I shook my head to get off that train of thought as I spotted my-our caravan sitting a few metres away. Neo said nothing before clearing her throat as we descended the stairs.
"Oh, actually, there was something I was supposed to do!" She said as she jumped around me to get on the step above me, leaning down to get into my face.
I leaned back, "Well, maybe you should go do it then." I replied, trying to squeeze my way past her.
"Yeah, I was supposed to tell you that Amon wanted to see us when you had the time." She had her hands behind her head as she spoke.
I had my coat halfway off when I heard that, causing me to groan as I looked at her, "Why didn't you tell me that before, you idiot!" I yelled, causing some people around to look at me.
Stop looking at me!
Neo shrugged as she grinned. I rubbed my temple in agitation to try and calm down.
"Where is he then?" I growled.
"In the clearing where he usually is." She supplied as she hopped down the stairs to where we were supposed to go. I followed her.
Stupid dumb Neo…Why does she keep bugging me?
We walked back towards the treeline and past where Amon was sitting there waiting in the same clothes as always, the same blank expression as always but this time wearing a leather jacket with a fur collar.
He looked up to see us walking toward him. "You're late." He stated plainly as he stood up, looming over us.
Before I could say anything, Neo beat me to the punch, "Sorry, Master Amon, I tried to get him to come faster, but he kept dragging his feet." She shook her head, "Such a lazy kid." She said disappointedly while trying to fight the smile covering her face.
Anger and indignation raced through me, "That's a lie-!" I began to shout.
"Neo." Amon's bored voice cut through, "Stop lying, or I'm going to punch you." He paused. "Hard." He finished while staring her down.
Neo looked away, pouting, "Yes…Master Amon." She muttered as she kicked a rock on the ground.
I could feel my eyebrows raise as I gazed at Amon.
Maybe he's not a jerk after all.
"And you." He pointed at me, and I unconsciously stood up straighter. "Talk faster, or one day someone will stab you in the back faster than you could let out a fart." He paused. "Idiot." He finished causing me to scowl at him.
Never mind, I still hate his guts.
He leaned back over the log to pick up a wooden staff and a wooden sword which he then tossed at our feet.
I looked at the toy at my feet in confusion while Neo eagerly picked up the staff twirling it around. I followed her example and picked up the sword, trying to find a comfortable grip by swinging the weapon back and forward.
Amon cracked his neck while he rolled his arm, "I made a promise to both of you that I would make you stronger." He said while making some lunges, "Unfortunately, I'm shit at teaching people how to fight, so I'm going to go with the next best thing. Which is a win-win situation." He finished his stretches as he stared at us, cracking his knuckles.
"You two will try and attack me while I'm going to beat the snot out of you." He tilted his head. "Any questions?" He asked.
Yeah, what the hell is wrong with you? I barely know how to fight!
I said nothing as I got into the position, he showed me while Neo was bouncing on the balls of her feet, ready to go, a smile on her face.
"If you are wondering how this helps, I firmly believe that the best growth is learnt in the heat of battle or a more practical application." He stood completely still, "My advice is that if it doesn't work stop doing it and if it does try to apply it in different ways." He said in a deadpan tone as he clenched his fists to his side.
Something changed in the air when he crouched down a bit; I could taste electricity as he got ready to attack.
DANGER!
Huh?
I felt my feet leave the ground as I went sailing toward the treeline, I was watching as Neo and Amon went further and further out of sight as she jumped around him while he stood there with his fists up.
My velocity was stopped as I crashed into a tree and felt it groan and creak under the force I hit it with. My aura shattered as I lay completely disassociated from my body like a restless ghost.
What happened? Why am I over here? I thought I was supposed to fight. Did I get hit? I'm starting to feel something…It…really…hurts!
My consciousness slammed back into my body as I screamed at the agony my body felt. I rolled around, trying to catch my breath and touch my back to soothe it.
Darkness closed in around me as my vision tunnelled in on Amon, who booted Neo away from him as she landed on the ground, holding her stomach.
His bored face infuriated me, and I fell unconscious.
I'll…kick…your…ass…
I woke up three hours later to Rozalia's worried face and Neo smirking while sporting a black eye.
Two months later…
"OOF!"
The wind was knocked out of me as I landed roughly on my back while dropping my practice sword, making me look up at Amon's expressionless face gazing back down at me. I moved to get back up and leap at him, but before I could, he kicked a cloud of dirt in my face blinding me from seeing his next move.
What the-!
"Blegh!" I hacked out before I felt hands roughly grab my shirt and toss me towards a tree shattering it and my aura.
I don't know how long I lay there before I got up and wiped the dirt from my eyes. I gasped in as many breaths as possible before finally being able to breathe again.
I felt my aura slowly come back again and begin mending the bruises on my back. I heard the crunching of leaves which signalled Amon coming over, no doubt to shit all over my effort.
My eyes began to sting as I anticipated the incoming barrage of criticism. There was silence for a moment before I noticed something dropped in front of me.
A cloth.
I looked up at Amon, who raised an eyebrow.
"Use that to get that shit out of your eyes, and then we'll go over your little beating." He said before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.
That's right…my eyes probably sting because of the dirt…yeah that's it.
I snatched the cloth and began wiping my eyes, clearing them of dirt and other grime while smelling tobacco wafting from Amon. When I felt satisfied enough, I put the cloth down and sat crossed-legged on the grass.
He took one last pull before flicking its tip off the ground next to him.
"So how did you think that went in your eyes? What did I do that stood out to you?" He asked while taking another pull.
I felt angry as I recalled what he did.
He kicked dirt in my face!
"You cheated!" I yelled at him before realising I was shouting at him and quickly closed my mouth and dropped my eyes.
Oh crap…
Instead of slapping me around the head, he looked rather amused instead.
"Oh? And how exactly did I cheat you, little shit?"
"You-" I worked up the courage to spit it out, "You kicked dirt in my face!" I exclaimed.
He took another pull before exhaling and crouching down to my eye level. He flicked his cigarette away and roughly poked me in the forehead, making me rock backwards and begin rubbing it.
"Ow!"
"Listen, kid; I'm gonna teach you a valuable lesson you will thank me for later in life." He said as I returned to my original position.
He looked me dead in the eye.
"There is no such thing as a fair fight in life." He gestured around him, "Nobody is born equal; some people are going to be stronger, faster and smarter than you and others are going to be weaker, slower and dumber than you."
He stopped gesturing around him and stood up.
"For those weaker than you, you must overwhelm them with everything you have; show that you are much stronger than them and crush their spirit." He started pacing back and forth, "And for those who are better than you? You drag them down to your level." He stopped and looked directly at me.
This doesn't sound anything like…like dad.
"Do you understand Grit? If someone is far superior, you must do everything possible to gain any advantage. Spit in their face, kick dirt in their eyes, pull their hair and get in their head as much as possible. Nothing is off limits; honour is for the moronic and naïve." He paused for a minute as I only looked at him in horror. "And it's what separates the victims and the survivors."
Something in my face must have said something as his softened slightly. He stuck his hand out and reached down towards me.
I looked at his rough and scarred hand.
The hand of a cheater…
I pushed myself up using my arms and brushed the grass and leaves off of me, ignoring his hand falling to his side.
He said nothing for a moment before grabbing my arm.
I looked at him as he gripped my arm.
"Do you understand me, boy? Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" He asked, his face falling back into his usual deadness.
No.
"…Yeah," I replied quietly, hoping it would allow me to leave quicker.
He looked at me for a few seconds before letting go.
"All right then."
I began to move away from him, trying to get away from how uncomfortable I felt at this conversation.
"Think about this, brat," Amon called one last time as he pulled out another cigarette.
I stopped in my tracks, turning my head slightly to listen.
"Do you think the man who killed your family will fight fair?"
A madman's laugh as he burns my mummy to death, a damp wetness in my pants; I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill youI'llkillyoukillyoukillyoukillyouKILLYOU-
My hand clenched as I shook in rage, thinking of that-that-that monster's cold dead yellow gaze.
I thought of a million things to say but couldn't spit any of them out, so I just stalked away from the clearing and moved back towards the camp, following the smell of smoke and horse poo.
I couldn't think straight as I returned to camp and headed straight towards my caravan. I vaguely noticed a pink blob walking next to me, trying to get my attention but failing. Eventually, it disappeared, and I slammed the door open to my room.
I paced back and forth from the drawer to the cot and the door, not slowing down my pace.
Fight fairly?! Dad was a hero! He fought fairly; he fought for what was right! He protected all of us!
My head ached as I thought of my dad fighting off those two monsters as I…as I…as I ran like a coward.
Those two animals didn't fight fairly at all! They cheated! The bad guys cheated! I'm going to get them! I won't be like them!
The headache only got worse as I remembered their faces laughing and snarling. I dug my knuckles into my head to try and fight the pain.
I'm not a monster!
I collapsed onto my bum as Amon's last words rang.
"Do you think the man who killed your family will fight fair?"
My eyes stung, and I could taste salt on my tongue as my cheeks felt wet.
It's not fair…
Why did this happen to me?
I hate it here!
I could faintly hear myself crying as my body couldn't stop shaking.
"I want to go home…."
I miss Autumn….
I miss Mummy….
I miss my Dad….
I looked at my hands. My tiny, cowardly and weak hands as I recalled my promise.
"I'll kill all of 'em… I'll find that horned bastard and shove his hands down his throat! I'll rip that fucking talking monster to pieces! I-I-I'll wipe every last Grimm off the face of the planet if I have to!...I FUCKING SWEAR IT!"
A sob broke out as I stared at my hands.
What a stupid joke! Me? I can't do anything…
I looked up from my hands towards the corner of the room where Excuser stood. From down here, it looked a hundred feet high and heavier than anything on this planet.
It suffocated me in its shadow.
I could only weep into my arms as I thought about when things were perfect when I wasn't trapped and surrounded by strangers when all I had to worry about was not doing chores and getting yelled at by my mum.
"…Please," I whispered to anybody listening, "Let me go home already…."
I felt so tired from the tears and anger that eventually, darkness claimed me, and all that awaited me were more nightmares of fire and gore.
Two months and one week later…
I noticed them staring at me for a while now.
Some of the other kids at the camp would look at me when they thought I wasn't paying attention. At first, I thought they were looking at me in curiosity, but now I've noticed that they are looking at me in anger.
Why? I don't know why honestly.
I stayed away from them and never spoke to or bothered them, but it didn't stop them from glaring at me. They would soon begin pointing and whispering at me before laughing or just staying quiet when they thought I was too near them.
The main culprit was the blonde-haired boy with green eyes who seemed to be riling up the rest.
What's his problem?
I wouldn't let it bother me. I don't care about them or what they think of me.
I don't care!
I was only here by accident, which was fine with me; I only needed to be here for another few years until I got bigger and stronger enough to leave and find that beast.
Their anger meant nothing to me as I stared back at them while they whispered and plotted with one another.
I hated it. I hated their looks as I watched from the steps of my caravan while they sat around the fire, enjoying the company of the rest of the adults, laughing and cheering as though nothing was wrong.
Everything was wrong.
I needed to get away from this.
I quickly stepped into my room to grab my practice sword and marched into the nearest clearing to practice the drills I had been shown.
Time passed in an instant as I barely noticed I had made it to the clearing before beginning the movements I had been taught.
I was swinging my wooden sword in every direction, trying to imagine that I was hitting that blonde-haired kid's face as it turned into mush.
I swung harder and harder, pumping my aura in my swings to try and make them break something…anything!
The familiar sound of my aura shattering greeted me as I stumbled slightly while I tried to catch my breath.
"You know you won't hit anything if you swing your arms like a nebun child." A deep voice said from behind me.
I turned to see a bald man with a beard wearing a thick woolly coat leaning against a tree with his arms crossed and a smile on his face.
Before I could say anything, he was already walking over, picking up a stick and standing next to me.
He wasn't tall, but his presence felt imposing as he looked over me, "Get into form." He commanded, and I followed without question before my mind caught up.
"De către zei, Amon may be a genius in fighting, but he is retardat at teaching." He muttered in that strange tongue of his.
Rozalia told me that most of the camp spoke in a dead tongue known only to fellow Nomads around Remnant. A piece of history that the Kingdoms tried to snatch away from them, she said.
"Here. follow my example." He said, gripping the stick with two hands mimicking the size of my wooden sword. I copied his grip and moved both hands to the same spot on my sword.
He nodded approvingly, "Good, now follow my legs." He spread his feet apart into an L-shape, a metre apart. I copied his stance, trying to get it exactly right.
"Very good, very good now copy my swings slowly." I got ready to copy him, "And when I mean slowly, I mean to make each movement as methodical as possible." He told me as I looked at him in confusion.
"What does methodical mean?" I asked.
He thought, "It means to follow the exact technique I showed you." He explained gently, "Now come, follow what I do."
For the next ten minutes, he continued showing me the beginnings of swordplay, including basic guard, attacks and counters.
As I followed his instructions, I could feel my sword swings and movement become less tense. I became less tired as I swung and found myself getting excited as I felt like I was making progress somewhere.
I turned to look up at him, seeing him with a smile, "Feels good, yes?" He asked as he patted me on the back. "Keep at it, brat. You'll be a killing machine in no time." He said, walking away.
"Names Myron, boy! I'll see you around camp." He called back.
I watched him go until he was nearly gone.
"…Thank you!" I shouted at him.
He waved his hand back.
I got into position and started following the drills he showed me doing it as slowly as possible.
I could only see the Grimm I was chopping apart, and I felt a smile slap onto me.
I was in the clearing for another few hours before deciding to head back to the camp, my anger losing to my need for rest.
I began walking before noticing movement in the treeline.
My heart began to race.
Grimm?
My hands felt clammy, and my mouth went dry as I tried picturing what would come from the trees. My leg began shaking but stopped when I saw a mop of blonde hair emerge along with two sets of brown hair.
Him?
They stood there for a moment as we stared each other down for what felt like minutes before the boy broke the silence.
"Ya tink yer so special, don't 'cha?" He stated as he came closer.
I saw his two friends go to either side of me, prowling around just out of my eye line. I could feel myself begin to shake a bit and sweat dripped down the back of my neck as I said nothing.
Maybe if I don't say anything, they'll go away.
My silence didn't help as he began scowling, now standing a few feet away from me.
"Well look what we 'ave 'ere lads." He gestured to me, "Master Amon's new pet!"
I said nothing as they moved in closer.
"The lazy bastard who does 'nuttin 'round the camp besides cry and eat all our food." The blonde spat at his feet.
I said nothing but became more aware of how they circled me.
"Ya tink jus' 'cause Master Amon is showing ya fancy tricks, yer better than the res' of us?" He hissed at me as his two pals joined in.
"Barely does shite around 'ere anyway…" One of them whispered; I noticed he had purple eyes and freckles around his nose.
"Me 'da said he does 'nuttin 'round camp besides eat our food and drink our water." The other chimed in, his hair cut into a wild mohawk.
What's even happening right now?
I felt it was time to speak up, "What's your problem? What did I ever do to any of you, huh? Just leave me alone!"
They looked at each other before snickering amongst each other.
"Ooh, look at him telling us what to do!" The blonde laughed before rushing up to me and shoving me backwards. "We were here 'fore you lipitoare! Don't try telling us what to do!"
I landed on my back, my wooden blade clattering out of my hand away from me. I scrambled back up to my feet so they couldn't get an advantage before I noticed I was unarmed.
Fuck!
I felt sick, angry and tired. I was so sick of all of this! Why couldn't people leave me alone already?!
I looked him in the eye as he smirked, getting ready to push me again. I clenched my fist by my side as I prepared for what would happen next.
I'm not weak!
"Don't push me again," I growled.
They all laughed again before I was pushed from behind by the mohawk, making me fall to the ground again. I was so tired, and my aura hadn't come back yet, so I felt the full impact as I landed on my hands.
They're not fighting fair! They-they-they're cowards!
I could hear them start laughing again.
"Or what bitch? What ya gonna do? Dance around with that stick like a little girl?" The blonde laughed as my ears burned.
I could only look at his taunting face while hearing his buddies snickering around me.
My hands shook.
What did I do to deserve this? I didn't do anything to them! Why won't people stop hurting me?! What do I do?!
…Get even.
Huh?
Hurt them…
Hurt them so they won't hurt you…
So, you won't be hurt again…You are not weak.
I have to…hurt them? But there's too many of them. I can't win in a fair fight…
So, don't.
What?
Amon's voice rang through my head.
"Do you think the man who killed your family will fight fair?"
No…he won't.
Get them all.
"Do you understand Grit? If someone is far superior, you must do everything possible to gain any advantage. Spit in their face, kick dirt in their eyes, pull their hair and get in their head as much as possible. Nothing is off limits; honour is for the cowardly and naïve."
I'm not a coward.
My ears were ringing, and the sound was slowly being drained.
They were still laughing, and I clenched my palm to gather the dirt in my hand to prepare for what was coming. I looked up, and the blonde looked down.
Time slowed as we held eye contact before I flung my palm towards his face, his eyes not closing in time before he was temporarily blinded. He swore and began trying to rub it out of his eyes, but I was already rushing to tackle him.
I barrelled into his stomach, and we collapsed in a heap, with me on top of him. He yelped as my fists started raining down on his head while he tried to protect himself from the damage.
It was for nothing as my fists slipped past his guard and connected with his nose, creating a crunching noise which made him scream and left a bloody stain on my knuckles as his hands immediately came up to protect it.
YES! MORE! HURT HIM!
Unfortunately, one of the blonde's arms flailed out and hit me in the face making me recoil.
"HELP ME!" He screamed pathetically towards…someone?
Who?
I felt two pairs of arms pull me away from him while being hit from different angles. It was the two bitches from before desperately trying to save their leader. I looked up to see them coming towards me as the one with purple eyes was much closer.
I looked towards his groin before launching my foot towards feeling something soft crumple as he screamed his head off and fell to the ground clutching his crotch and crying.
I stared at the other one, the ringing in my ears becoming louder as he picked up the blonde one who was wiping his face with his sleeve turning it red.
They looked at each other before sprinting at me to try and do what I had done to him earlier. I swung my fist wildly at the mohawk and clocked him in the chin, making him spin slightly from the blow and take a kneeling position.
I wasn't fast enough to dodge the blonde's boot to my stomach. I doubled over in pain, clutched my stomach, coughed up spit and vomit, and waited for the next blow. It never came, so I looked to see him picking up the wooden sword and clumsily swinging it at my head. I narrowly ducked as I delivered a punch to the side of his stomach, which made him cough and dropped the sword.
I went to take another swing at him but felt my hands restrained behind my back, and my head rocked forward from a blow behind me, making me shout in pain. I looked to see the blonde wiping his mouth and mouthing something, but I couldn't hear him.
What the fuck is he saying? I can't hear anything over this fucking ringing! Why am I being held?!
Monstrous paws held me down as I watched; I can barely breathe; why can't I breathe? I can't move, help me help mehelpmehelpmehelpme
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"
I launched my head backwards and felt something break with my head, and it suddenly became wetter, but I didn't care as the pressure was gone, and the blonde in front of me was stunned.
"GRRAGH!" I screamed.
I wanted to hurt him so badly; I wanted him to feel what I felt!
I swung my fist into his stunned face and watched him crumple to the floor. I couldn't let him go, not yet.
I wrapped my hands around his throat and began squeezing. I watched as he clawed at my hands, tears pouring down his face while the colour drained.
DO IT!
I felt myself being pulled away and thrown to the clearing's other side, rolling a few times before landing.
WHO-?
Amon? Neo? Who are these people?
The ringing became quieter. I could start hearing the crying and whimpering as adults crowded the area. Some attended to the other boys while some stood around watching and only Neo and Amon came over to me.
What happened?
Neo's pink eyes came into view as she shook me.
"Wha-?" I started as she kneeled in front of me.
"I said are you okay? You're bleeding." She said as she looked me over while Amon said nothing and stood above us.
"I am?" I reached behind, touched the dampness, and brought it back in front of my face.
Blood.
But I didn't feel any pain. I looked back up at her.
"…I don't think it's mine," I said quietly.
She looked stunned for a moment.
"Really?"
Her reaction soon turned into a grin.
"That's awesome! Well, besides the whole nearly strangling Oak to death bit." She added.
Wait, what?
"I did what?" I asked as I looked over to the blonde kid – Oak – as he was now being sat up, wiping his face and pointing over to me, making the adults glance at me with glares. The other two boys were still rolling in pain, clutching their funny bags or holding their noses.
I-
"I didn't mean to…." I looked up to Amon, who returned it with the same emotionless gaze. "They were trying to hurt me! I didn't do anything to them; they started it. I- " He put his hand up, causing me to close my mouth before reaching around him and pulling out a cloth.
"Here," He kneeled to hand me the cloth, "Clean yourself up, and I'll sort this out." I took it out of his hands as he then walked over to the other adults and kids who marched to meet him in the middle.
They began shouting at Amon while pointing at me and back to the other kids. Amon pulled out a cigarette and began smoking it while listening to them.
I felt my shoulder shake as I dabbed the cloth around my face. I turned to look at Neo, who had her hand on me and looked at me with a smile.
"You, okay?" She asked.
No.
"Yeah."
"Liar," She responded as I didn't bother to correct her.
I heard the voices in the middle get louder, hearing words like 'Maniac' and 'Psychopath'. It was mainly by a woman with blonde hair and a few other adults, while the rest stood by and watched, some with blank faces and others with grins.
I watched them as they shouted louder and louder while Amon said nothing and continued smoking.
I felt a pit in my stomach.
"Am I going to get kicked out?" I muttered to Neo.
She shook her head, "Nah, you'll be all right."
I turned to look at her, and she had the same grin.
"If anything," She pointed to the kids, "They're probably going to end up getting chores instead."
"Because they attacked me?"
"Nope." She made a popping sound with the 'p', "Because they lost."
What?
"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion, "I hurt them! I nearly ended up doing something…something really stupid."
Neo reached over to ruffle my hair, which I swatted away.
"Oh~ little Grit, you have a lot to understand about the Nomads." She settled down next to me, making herself comfortable. "You were well within your right to do what you wanted to them."
"You see, we don't shy away from fights at all," She swung her arm around my shoulder and pulled me in closer. "We Gipsies have a might make right way of thinking; why do you think Master Amon is in charge? Because he's the smartest? Nope, that would be Rozalia. Do you think it's because he's the wisest? Nah, that would be Myron."
She pointed to Amon, still smoking, as one big gutted guy started getting in his face and shouting at him for something.
"We call him the Master of the Camp because he is the strongest of us all."
I watched as the fat guy poked Amon in the chest, and the next thing I saw was the man kneeling on the ground with Amon's hand wrapped around his throat, draining the air out of him. I saw the other adults quiet down and back off while Amon leaned to whisper in his ear.
Whatever he said caused the man to start nodding his head furiously before he chucked him away from him, pointed to the beaten kids, and then to the camp. The complaining adults followed whatever he said and took the kids away with the blonde – Oak – shooting me one last glare.
The other adults who came to watch meandered away and even shot me some smiles and thumbs, which confused me even more as they left.
Amon walked back to us to stick a hand out towards me, which I accepted to be pulled up easily.
We said nothing for a moment before he spoke.
"Good job." He said plainly.
"Uhm, on what?" I asked.
"For two things: One, for taking my advice and two, for fighting back." He replied.
I could feel my ears heat a bit at his praise before I realised something.
"Hey! How did you know I took your advice?"
He took a puff from his cigarette.
"Because I watched your little scuffle? What are you? Stupid?"
Neo giggled and jumped up to her feet to stand next to me.
"Well, why didn't you help me?!" I shouted at him.
He flicked my head, making me yelp and then quiet down as he spoke.
"Because it was a good opportunity for you to learn how things work around here and outside of this camp." He stuck his hand out for something, "Now gimme back the cloth."
I dropped it into his hand, which he stuffed into his pocket.
"Thanks. Now head back to camp with Neo and get to bed. It's like midnight, and I have shit to do." He walked ahead of us, taking a few more puffs before flicking it away.
I stood there in silence for a bit, finally taking in what happened as I then stared down at my hands, looking at the dried blood and bruising.
I did all that? Who was that speaking in my head? Ah! I'm too tired right now…
I felt my arm shake and looked to see Neo gesturing for me to follow her.
"C'mon, Gritty, let's head back." She said as she began pulling me towards camp.
"Stop calling me that!" I snapped while I trailed behind her.
She only giggled in response before falling silent as we made our way past camp. Everyone was returning to their caravans and preparing for tomorrow, but an awkwardness clouded the camp.
I followed Neo back as we opened the door to our caravan and began getting ready for bed in silence.
She spoke, and I stayed quiet, listening to her talk about what had happened. I only thought about that voice.
The voice…
It…helped me.
It made me feel brave and strong, like I could overcome the pain.
But…
It also made me nearly hurt Oak…Badly.
I saw how some of the adults looked at me. They were disgusted; they were afraid of me.
And it felt…good?
No!
No, no, I wasn't a bad person at all! I was protecting myself, that's all! They started it, they started, and I finished it!
I shook my head as I climbed into the bottom bunk while Neo leapt into the taller one, causing it to swing slightly.
I lay there for a bit, staring at the hammock above me, my brain running a hundred miles an hour.
"Hey, Neo?" I whispered.
"Yeah?" She whispered back.
I fumbled for the words and felt my throat go dry.
"Did…did I do the right thing?"
The silence was my answer as I heard her turn a bit.
"Am I a bad person?" I asked.
"I dunno." She paused, "Do you feel bad about what happened?"
I thought about it, and the knot in my stomach wouldn't go away.
"I…I think so?"
"Well, there you go." She leaned over the edge to look at me through the darkness. "Bad people never feel bad about their actions, so you can't be bad."
I stared at her for a bit as the knot eased up.
"Ok…I guess that makes sense." I looked away from her and turned to look at the wall, "Thank you, Neo."
"No problem Gritty." She leaned back up and got herself comfortable again, "Goodnight!"
"Goodnight."
And then there was near silence, with only Neo's light snores interrupting it.
I turned to look at the corner of the room.
Excuser stood tall in the corner, but it seemed smaller now.
I looked one last time before closing my eyes.
I'll get them…I promise.
Soon…
Four months later…
They didn't bother me again since that day.
Oak and his buddies stayed far away from me now whenever I was around but would still glare at me or spit on the ground whenever they saw me.
Whatever.
Neo told me that some of the Nomads didn't trust an outsider in the camp and felt that Amon made a bad call rescuing an 'Orphan'.
Or, as they called me, 'another mouth to feed.'
She said not to worry about it, as some of them were trying to undermine Amon's authority in the camp. Oak's dad was the biggest complainer and also the biggest critic of Amon's decisions as he would always secretly complain about 'How good things used to be!' or 'Amon's losing his touch!'.
Meanwhile, I would see that guy drink himself unconscious most nights and pass out at the fire. It seemed like Oak was trying to his miserable dad with…something?
In the end, I didn't care about any of their problems.
And I didn't care about the bruises that would always show up on his arms.
He's bad; he tried to hurt me for no reason!
Anytime I saw it, my stomach would turn, probably because I was hungry.
Yeah, that was it.
"Now breathe out and focus, feel the pull of the dust, feel the connection of your soul," Rozalia said as I and Neo sat crossed-legged with our hands clenched around a tiny dust crystal.
We were currently being taught about dust and its uses by Rozalia, which included sitting for a whole hour holding a rock and waiting for it to do something.
"Do you know what I mean by your soul?" She asked as she watched us struggle.
Neo did it without complaints and followed Rosalia's instructions to the letter. She was even getting it to glow sometimes, which was more progress than I was making.
"No," I responded as Rozalia shook her head.
"I mean that your soul is your aura, yeah?" She explained as she stood over us, "Your aura is an extension of your soul, or if you ask some people, your soul is the extension of your aura."
"If you believe the common fables, they believe that dust is the primordial essence in which mankind arrived," Rozalia coughed a bit before continuing, "But we Nomads believe that Dust is a gift from the slumbering god whose tears for our plight dropped from the heavens and into Remnants crust gifting us with the ability to fight back."
She paced around us as Neo's crystal began to glow brighter.
"That's dumb," I muttered, which made her cuff me around the head, "Ow!"
"I'll let many things slide, Grit, but I won't tolerate disrespect towards the ancient arts, yeah?"
"Yeah, ok! Jeez, I get it." I rubbed the back of my head with my free hand before I looked up at her.
"But it's just not working for me!" I shoved the rock towards her, "I've been trying to put my soul in this dumb rock for an hour now, and it isn't working!"
She leaned down for a moment before taking the rock out of my hand. She held it for a second, and it immediately started glowing in her palm before exploding into a tiny wind gust.
Rozalia tilted her head at me as I felt my ears burn.
"…Lucky try."
"Oh really? How about you take a look at Neo, then."
I looked over to see Neo closing her eyes and the crystal glowing brighter before exploding in her hands, creating another gust of wind.
She opened her eyes and leapt to her feet, jumping around in front of Rozalia.
"Look, look! Did you see that? I did it, Rozie! I fucking did it!" She cheered, tugging her dress as Rozalia laughed and crouched down to hug her.
"Well done, Neo! Well done indeed!" She squeezed her tighter before letting her go, "But work on that potty mouth, yeah?"
Neo sucked in her lips and nodded but still couldn't stop bouncing around us.
Rozalia stroked her hair as she tried to calm her down.
"I'm so proud of you." She said as Neo beamed and crashed into her again.
I could only watch as my mind was dragged back to a better time.
Autumn and I came running down the stairs from our room covered in glitter and glue, carrying a piece of paper.
I had just turned six a few days ago, and Mum threw the best party ever for me! I got so much stuff from her and dad and the Cobbles and other people around the village it was so awesome!
But Mum didn't get anything! So, I stayed up all night making it with a little help from Autumn.
We scrambled into the kitchen where she was at the sink washing up, and dad was drinking that smelly coffee.
He looked up first, "Woah! Slow down; where's the fire?" He asked.
"Fire?! Where!" Autumn shouted as she started running around, flailing her arms before running into Mum, who picked her up in one motion, immediately settling her.
"There's no fire again, dad! Stop saying that, as it only happened one time!" I replied, out of breath from the running.
My mum turned around from the sink and noticed what I was holding.
"What's that you got there, Grit?"
I felt sweaty all of a sudden but also excited. I cleared my throat.
"I just wanted to say- "
"We!" Autumn interrupted, climbing down from Mum and standing next to me.
I growled a bit, "We wanted to say thank you, Mum, for the party; it was the best birthday ever! I got to see everyone, dad got me a new comic, and there was cake and crumble, and it was so awesome that- "
"Ok, Ok! I get it, darling, thank you, but what did you want to show me?" She asked as she stood in front of me.
"Oh!" I completely forgot for a minute before I stuck it out to her.
She gasped a bit as she stared at it.
It was a picture of all of us with me, Autumn and Mum holding her hand with rainbows, sunshine, and BIG love hearts.
Written at the top covered in glitter were:
'LUV YU MAMA'
Mum said nothing for a moment before crying and pulling us both into a hug. Peppering us with kisses and cuddles.
"Oh, thank you so much, babies! I love it so much!" She gives us kisses before letting us go a bit and crouching in front of us.
"I love you both; I'm so proud of you." She reached over and cupped my face, "I'm so happy you are such a good boy, Grit."
My ears burned at the praise, and my face ached from smiling.
Dad walked over.
"Hey, how come I'm not on it? What am I, dog poo?" He complained.
"That would explain the smell…." Mum replied, making me and Autumn giggle.
"Oi!"
It hurt too much to watch; my chest had a bad ache looking at both of them, and my eyes stung.
"Grit? You ok?" I heard Rozalia's voice cut through where I met her green eyes looking at me with concern.
"I'm fine!" I realised I was shouting, "…I'm fine…I want to get this stupid rock to blow up, is all."
She looked at me for a moment before getting back up and clapping her hands.
"I think that's enough practice for today, don't you think?" She gathered up the dust and slipped it back into a pouch by her side.
"But I didn't even finish yet!" I cried.
"Yes, but you are tired and need a break, yeah?"
My body did feel tired, and I could use…a small rest.
Yeah, just for a bit, and then I'll get back to it.
"…ok," I mumbled.
Neo decided to pipe up, "What we doing then, Rozie?"
"We are going to go back to camp," She started walking while I and Neo filed in behind her, "To start getting food prepared for tonight."
Neo groaned while I kept my mouth shut, remembering how I promised to help with chores.
"Ugh, do we have to?" Neo whined as she dragged her feet.
"You want to eat, don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess so…."
"Remarcabil!" She said as we returned to the camp and the cooking area. Rozalia rolled up her sleeves and reached under the chopping section to pull out a basket full of potatoes, a pair of peelers, and a knife.
"Now, two of us must peel, and one must chop." She looked between us as we looked at each other, "Who wants to do what?" She asked.
I barely got a word out before Neo got there before me, "I'll chop!"
Damn!
Rozalia looked at me with a smile as she handed me a peeler, and Neo laughed at me as she got a knife.
"Let's get to work!" Rozalia said as we started our tasks.
It had been about ten minutes, and I was already sick to death of peeling these stupid potatoes.
It was only coming off in chunks, and I kept cutting my fingers! It was so dumb, I was doing the same thing that Rozalia did. How come hers was going great and mine wasn't?
She must have heard my huffing and looked over from her conversation with Neo to look at my work. While she had finished peeling fifteen, I had only managed two of them.
"Having trouble, Grit?" She asked, which only annoyed me.
"No! I'm fine; the peeler is just broken, that's all." I moved the peeler in front of her face, "See?"
It's busted; I didn't do anything wrong.
She cocked her head as she looked at it, "Looks fine to me."
"It's probably 'cause he's stupid." Neo chimed in.
"Shut up, Neo! You're ugly!" I spat back, which she only stuck her tongue out to only enraging me more.
"Here," Rozalia moved behind me and grabbed both my hands gently into position, "You are being too rough with it, Grit."
Warm.
I couldn't help but notice how warm her hands were over mine. It made me feel more relaxed and take note of her hands.
They had little scars all over them, and I could also feel the calluses from her palms on the back of my hand.
"Peel from thumb to finger like this, see?" I watched as the potato's skin glided onto the chopping board.
Is it that easy?
"Here," She stepped away, and it felt colder suddenly, "You try now, yeah?"
She gave me an encouraging pat on the shoulder and watched me.
I followed her instructions and watched as it became easier for the skin to come off instead of the potato chunks.
I looked up at her, "Thank you."
I felt my hair being ruffled as she leaned over with a smile.
"Nici o problema!" She replied, her emerald eyes shining.
I returned to peeling the potatoes as she spoke with Neo, who told her some story about some made place or person.
I didn't listen to her often, so I wouldn't know what she was talking about.
I feel like I'm going to go insane from all this peeling.
"…What did that mean?" I asked quietly, making her and Neo turn back to me.
Neo had a pout on her face as I took Rozalia's attention away from her.
"What does what mean?" She asked curiously.
"The words you said earlier, I hear everyone using them, and I don't know what they mean." I looked at my feet.
She had a look of understanding on her face.
"Ahh! You mean the dead tongue." She stated, "It is an ancient language that only the Nomads know now."
She stood closer to me as I became aware of the space, making my ears hotter.
"Would you like to learn some?" She asked, "Just to pass the time of potato peeling?"
Anything would be better than this.
"…yes, please," I replied as Neo stopped pouting and shuffled closer to us.
Rozalia had an excited look on her face, "Wonderful! Now, where do you want to start?"
"Anywhere is fine,"
"Yeah? Well, first, we have to go over the history of our tongue and how it has evolved." She started as I listened intently.
Peeling away all the while.
Rozalia became muffled as I zoned out, listening to bits and pieces, making sure I was taking something in so she wouldn't cuff me around the head.
My thoughts went back to that stupid crystal.
I didn't need a stupid rock to be stronger.
I clenched my hand slightly.
I would do it with my own bare hands if I had to.
Stupid rock….I'm not weak.
I only half listened to Rozalia talk and Neo chime in as I imagined chopping apart the Grimm with Excuser.
I couldn't stop smiling if I wanted to.
One year later…
We were moving.
Rozalia told me that because of the bad reputation that the Nomads got, we-they weren't allowed to hang around in one spot for too long before either too many Grimm got close or the local Kingdoms army would turn up to try and turf us-them out.
Why?
From what I was told, nobody knows, but they've been doing it so long that no one will do anything to stop it, as nothing bad has happened yet.
I was currently lying on the caravan roof, which I and Neo shared while she rode at the front next to Rozalia as she talked her ear off about anything and everything she could think of. I stared at the clouds as they passed by.
I reached up to try and grab one, but it was out of reach.
It always seemed to be out of reach…
I sat up to see where we were going, with my eyes being greeted by the same trees we had seen a week ago when we set out. However, it was becoming hotter as we went further south towards Vacuo.
We were in the middle of our convoy as Amon led the front while some of the stronger Nomads stayed around the front or back, and the non-fighters stayed in the middle. Me included.
"Tch!" I frowned, blowing a strand of hair out of my face.
I'm not a weakling…
"Careful, Grit, you keep frowning, and it's going to aluneca." A voice said below me to the right.
I looked over to see a tanned, muscular man wearing a faded green tight, worn t-shirt, boot-cut jeans and a pair of work boots. He had a shaved head and a full beard with tattoos all over his arms leading into his shirt, the most prominent being the tattoo of a wagon wheel on his neck.
Myron rode a horse, keeping up with our wagon, his dark blue eyes shining with humour.
I grunted as I looked forward at the back of the heads of Neo and Rozalia, who were happily chatting away with Neo showing her a book she was reading.
I stared forward for a bit longer before turning back to look at Myron, who was still riding next to us on a horse.
"…It's taking too long…" I muttered quietly enough for Neo and Rozalia not to hear but loud enough for Myron to understand.
He raised his eyebrow at me, "What? The journey? We are going across the country on horses, kid; it won't be like going on a bullhead-." He started before I interrupted him, letting out my frustration.
"No!" I raised my voice but lowered it when Neo and Rozalia glanced back at me before returning to their conversation. "No…I mean…when will I be stronger? It feels like it's taking forever, and I'm not going anywhere." I looked up to the clouds, "It just…it just seems so far away." I finished quietly.
Myron hummed in response, taking a minute to think, "You are nerăbdător." He stated, and I looked at him, confused, barely understanding the word.
"You are impatient." He supplied, knowing I still didn't understand the Nomad language completely. "You want to reach the end of your journey before it even starts." I looked away, knowing that he was right. "This is foolish behaviour." He finished looking away to concentrate on the path as we turned left.
I looked back at him feeling my ears burn, "I'm not fool-!" I started before he raised his hand to stop me from talking.
"I know what you want, Grit, and while I will not stop you, I will at least guide you so you don't end up dead before you reach your goal." He said, "If you skip straight to the end, what will you learn? Will you be the same man you started as? Will you be able to stand proud at the end?" He asked with an admonishing tone as I looked down at my lap.
"I don't care what happens to me", I bit out angrily.
I only looked away in silence which Myron hummed at.
"Ah, well, if that's what you think." He said as he sped up to go next to Neo and Rozalia but not before turning his head to me, "When we set up camp, we'll go over the basics one more time and then start practising with bigger swords, yeah?" He said to me over the sound of wheels bumping over a few rocks.
I only nodded to him as he caught up to the drivers of the caravan, "And how are you two ladies today~!" He called, putting on a fake gentleman accent catching their attention.
"Hey, baldy, what's up?" Neo said while Rozalia laughed as Myron sputtered.
"I'm not bald; I'm shaved, you hear me!" He shook his fist at her, "It was entirely my choice, you pint-sized turd!" Neo giggled as Rozalia looked away to hide her smile.
"Rozie, you're supposed to be my friend here! Stop ganging up on poor old Myron!" He shouted sadly at Rozlia, who turned to look back at him.
"Yes, Ronnie, and as your friend, I'm to support you in your old-advanced age." She giggled while Neo laughed harder, and Myron started ranting about 'disrespect' and 'no appreciation for their elders'.
They laughed harder when he said elders.
I tuned them out and laid back on the caravan as we went further into the woods and off the main road thinking about what Myron said.
Will I be able to stand proud at the end? I don't know anything about being proud, and I don't care about it.
The maniacal laughter of a madman and the growls of a monster echoed through my mind. My fist clenched.
As long as I get them…I don't care who I am in the end.
I was lost in my thoughts when I heard Amon's voice call out for the wagons to stop with his fist raised.
"Hold up! I don't like the look of this place." He shouted as the convoy of twenty caravans stopped in a line.
Myron held back a bit so he could whisper to us as he pulled a jagged longsword out of his side holster on the horse.
"Neo. Grit. Go inside the caravan, and don't come out until we tell you it's safe." He whispered in a grim tone which brooked no argument as he dismounted his horse which strangely stayed calm.
Neo grumbled before climbing around the top and gently slapping me on the shoulder as I looked out into the treeline, feeling dread and…fear roll around in my stomach.
They're out there waiting…
"Now, Grit!" Myron whispered more harshly as I nodded dumbly, getting ready to climb back in.
And then I heard it.
Growls and snarls were coming from beyond the trees and coming closer.
Bodies ripped apart, brains and guts splattered all over the floor, the maggots would have what was left-
Bright red eyes lit up the darkness, and for a moment, there was silence.
And then it happened.
A fireball came out from the dark and swallowed Amon with a large flying-like Grimm leaping towards where he used to be. I felt the caravan shake and rock as I fell off the top, hearing Myron's snarls and Rozalia shouting my name as I hit the dirt below me.
My aura flashed but didn't break as I shook the cobwebs off, trying to collect my bearings. I was still lying on my stomach, which let me see underneath to caravan to observe Myron's lower body struggle to push a black creature off him.
"GRRAGHH!" He yelled as he threw the hulking black mass onto the ground and then jammed his sword between its skull plate while it roared in his face before slowly disappearing into black dust.
I watched, transfixed, as Myron's legs flew off the ground, carried away by short stubby black ones squealing as his cursing became fainter and fainter. Shouts and cries filled the convoy as anyone who could fight began to battle the ambush.
I could hear a ringing in my ears as I witnessed the frenzy.
No…No…nonononono! It's happening again!
Fire dancing before my eyes. Screams of the dying echoed through the night. Snarls of beasts reverberate through the night. Please don't let me die-
I felt someone shaking my shoulder roughly.
Who is touching me?
I turned to see someone with pink hair and wide pink eyes looking at me with…Worry? Fear?
I know this person…
…Neo. It's Neo, but why does she look so scared?
"-cus already Grit-!" I couldn't hear her over the ringing and the shouting.
The wind came rushing back into my head as I could now hear her, her mouth no longer sounding muffled as she slapped me.
"STOP FUCKING SPACING OUT, AND LET'S MOVE!" She screamed as I refocused on where I was.
I looked around to see the fighters of the convoy holding off the Grimm. I couldn't see Myron, Rozalia or Amon anywhere.
I nodded to Neo as we got up to move.
The Grimm were attacking.
We stumbled to the door of our caravan and tried to pull the stairs down to unblock it.
The Grimm are attacking.
We both used our aura to jump up and pull the stairs down, which it did with a hard thunk.
…Are you going to run away again?
Huh? I wasn't running away; I was doing what I was told.
And look how well that turned out last time, you coward….
Blood-stained teeth chewing on a small body. Her face trapped in a silent scream-
…Are you going to let them do it again?
…No…
A heat was forming in my stomach and spreading through my body.
What will you do then?
…I'll kill them…
The ringing started getting louder.
I would not be weak. I would not be pathetic. Never again.
All of them?
…Every last one of 'em.
My head hurt as anger ran through my body. My aura shattered, but instead of fading away, I felt it rush back into my body.
We'll rip them to shreds…
…TEAR THEIR GUTS OUT!
I felt stronger and faster; I could see them. I needed to let this out on them.
I could feel something faintly tugging on me, so I shrugged it away, hearing a dull thud and a faint cry.
I looked around the caravan to see a black mass smaller than the others gnawing on a smaller body.
Autumn? Is that you, Autumn?! I'LL SAVE YOU!
I ran straight to the monster, imagining what it would be like to see its insides.
I leapt onto its back and delivered a punch to its neck as it thrashed around, collapsing to the ground. It squealed and gnashed its teeth, trying to bite me.
Its teeth…
I reached down to grab one of its large fangs and pulled. It felt like I was tearing a piece of paper as I held its fang in my free hand, it thrashed harder, and I could faintly hear it snarling and trying to wave its meaty arm around.
Its arm…
I grabbed and pulled; it was so…easy. It came off like nothing as it roared one last time before dissolving into nothing as I fell off its back onto my knees. I stared at my palm, where the fang was disappearing.
Are they all this fragile?
Anger raced through my body as I clenched my hand.
Are they all this week?
Was this what I had been afraid of?
The monsters that I had checked for before I went to sleep? The monsters that had haunted my dreams for a year? The monsters that I feared?
There was nothing to fear.
Not anymore.
Only hate and anger would see them crushed beneath my feet.
I heard a snarl behind me as I flew through the air and hit my head against a tree.
What was that? What hit me? Another Grimm?
I could feel a dull pain in my back, and I had to close my left eye as too much liquid was running down, blocking my vision. I reached my hand up to touch my forehead and brought it back down to see…blood?
My aura should have protected me. Why am I bleeding?
Soon my thoughts turned to the source of my pain. I looked to see a larger Beowolf with larger bones and spikes standing a few metres from me. It roared at me with spittle coming out of its mouth in an open challenge.
I'LL KILL YOU; I'LL KILL YOU, KILLYOUKILLYOUKILLYOUKILLYOU-
I snarled back and began racing back to dig my hands into its eyes, to rip its stupid fucking skull face off!
Before I could even move, something began holding me.
"RAGGHRH! GET THE FUCK OFF ME I'LL KILL YOU!" I screamed, thrashing around to get this fucking weight off me.
Warm rotten breath breathing down my neck as I watched mum-
I screamed and thrashed harder and harder before a deep voice started speaking, "Easy there Foc salbatic; calm down, it's me, Myron." The voice spoke calmly.
Myron? Who the fuck is Myron? Wait…
As I regained my bearings, a bald head and beard flashed through my mind.
The Grimm!
"THE GRIMM, WE HAVE TO KILL IT BEFORE-!" I started to shout before Myron got off me and let me stand up before pointing at the charging Grimm.
Looking back at what I knew now, I know it was just his semblance. But at that moment, I thought Amon was some sort of demon in disguise.
It was as though it was magic; one moment, nothing stopped the Beowolf from coming toward us, and when I blinked, it was lying on the floor, dead on the ground, a curved blade sticking out of its head. Amon stood above it before pulling his blade out and moving back towards the convoy. His shirt and some of his pants had burned off, revealing the tattoos and scars all over his body.
The two things that stood out to me were the small tattoo of a wagon wheel on his left pec and a 'III' tattoo on his right.
What does that mean?
"All right, people, it's safe to come out now!" He shouted towards the caravans as people started to emerge slowly. "Hurry up, and let's get it moving; we are wasting daylight!" Walking off to the front of the convoy, nothing in his demeanour betrayed how he felt.
Its…Is it over? But…it can't be over…I didn't…
I felt an arm hauling me up, spinning me around to Myron's angry face, "What the hell were you thinking?!" He yelled, shaking me.
I was confused and still coming down from the adrenaline, I couldn't see out of my left eye, and my back was in agony.
"Huh?" That was all I could say.
This was not the right answer.
"Huh?! Huh?! Is that all you can say for yourself?! You were supposed to get into the caravan with Neo, and you couldn't even follow that basic instruction!" He was red-faced before he closed his eyes and breathed. He opened them again his rage dulled slightly.
"Look what happened because you left-!" He started, but I cut him off.
Who does this guy think he is?!
"Nobody got hurt! And I killed a Grimm, so what's the fucking problem!" I shouted back at him.
Why is he so mad?!
The pain in my back started hurting, and I became increasingly uncomfortable as he berated me.
"The problem is you didn't listen and nearly got you and Neo killed for no good fucking reason!" He yelled back, pointing at Neo sitting on the ground, nursing the back of her head while Rozalia was checking over her.
When did she get hurt?
"She got hurt because you flew off the handle and went off on your little tantrum!" His voice wasn't shouting anymore, but it still cut deep as shame filled me.
I hurt her?
I could see a faint memory of me shoving her off as I went ballistic, her head bouncing off the wooden caravan as she lay there in pain.
I felt sick to my stomach over the memory. I felt even angrier that even Myron was telling me off like he was my…
…My dad.
I sneered up at him, "You're not my dad! So, stop trying to boss me around!"
His face was unreadable as a flash of…something went through his eyes before he stood up.
He started to walk away, "You are right. I'm not your father." I felt sick and angry as he walked away. I turned away from Rozalia's disappointed face and Neo's worried frown as they looked at me when I shouted.
Before returning to the convoy, he made one final remark, "And if you think nobody got hurt, think again." He said as he disappeared further up the convoy, probably going off to speak with Amon.
I became aware of screaming and crying and looked over with my right eye to see one of the camp's women cradling a small torn-apart body with its guts spilt all over the ground and its face bit off to unrecognisable.
She was weeping and begging for anyone to save her baby. But whatever could save her boy was not listening today, nor would it ever any other day.
It was Oak.
It was Oak's ripped-apart body, his face frozen in horror.
The ringing was back, but I wasn't upset. I couldn't feel anything.
I looked up with my good eye to the sky to see the clouds floating on by, unbothered by the tragedy that had occurred.
I reached my hand up to try and grab one.
They seemed even more unreachable now.
Later that night...
We had set up camp earlier that day, and a funeral was held for Oak. Everyone had something to say regarding his passing about 'How he lit up the camp' or 'He was the pride of the Nomads'. I stayed outside the service; I hated him. I had nothing to say about him besides that he was a huge jerk.
But a part of me…a part of me still felt sad.
Maybe it was because his Mum was crying her eyes out, begging her baby to return. Maybe it was that his dad wasn't even drunk for this and didn't say a word. Perhaps it was even his best friends who looked confused about what was going on and could get out sniffles.
I didn't know, and the hole in my tummy seemed to get deeper.
What surprised me was Neo barely being able to hold back her tears. Rozalia said some words, and so did Myron, and finally, Amon came by to plant a wooden cross on the mound with his name before walking away after saying some words.
'Oak Edwards'
The service continued for another hour before people went about their chores. Oak's mum and dad stood in front of their son's mound, and Rozalia stayed behind to comfort her. I was sitting on a log on the outskirts, watching them as I fiddled with the bandage on my forehead and shuffled my torso around to get comfortable with the itchiness on my back.
When I got clawed by the Beowolf earlier, it nearly cleaved through my back, sending me flying into the trees. Rozalia told me I was lucky my aura turned back on in time to start knitting up the wound, but it would leave a nasty scar behind.
I looked down to see my hand was clenched as I remembered the encounter.
Why didn't my aura protect me? It didn't feel like it broke; it just felt like...it was running around inside me.
I thought back to the strength I had when I killed that Grimm. I was ripping its body apart like it was nothing, I felt faster and stronger, and I felt so...angry. As soon as the anger faded, I felt my aura start to cover my body again.
Leaning back, I looked around the camp to see Myron silently setting up the outdoor cooking station. He looked up as though he could feel someone staring at him, and I looked back down to avoid his gaze as another weird feeling settled in my tummy.
Hearing a soft sigh and something plopping down next to me, I saw Rozalia wearing a loose white shirt, and baggy trousers sit down next to me.
"How are you, Grit?" She asked in that warm voice of hers.
I grunted.
She let out a small laugh under her breath.
"I suppose I can also relate to how you are feeling." She repositioned herself on the log to get more comfortable. "Death is not easy to accept, nor will it ever be when it comes to those we love." She said, looking up at the sky.
I didn't know what I was feeling at the moment. I felt bad and even guilty that Oak had died, but I couldn't cry about it, nor could I even if I tried. To me, he was just some jerk I nearly killed.
Would I be sad if Rozalia died? Neo? Myron? Or even Amon? I didn't know.
Did that make me a bad person?
Or am I already a bad person?
I looked up from the corner of my eye to see Rozalia gazing at me gently, waiting for me to say anything.
"...I guess so," I said quietly.
She hummed, and we sat in silence again.
"Neo told me you still don't sleep very well."
I shrugged.
"I know you don't think of us as your family Grit, and I know we can't replace what you lost," She started as she stood up. "But if you open your heart just a little bit, you might find your nights become a little less restless." She put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.
I thought of Neo and how I pushed her over where she banged her head. How I yelled at Myron when all he had done was help me and keep me safe.
My hands felt sweaty as I remembered, and I just wanted to go to bed.
I felt her hand move away from my shoulder as she stood in front of me, waiting to say something else, "Even if you don't want to, I think you at the very least owe Neo an apology for earlier," She had her arms crossed. "When I found her after you went off on your rampage, she was crying, thinking that you had just run off and got yourself killed." I started to feel sick again as she told me that.
"….I'll say sorry," I muttered as she uncrossed her arms.
"I think it would be a good idea to do it sooner than later, yes?"
"...Ok," I replied as she stared for a moment before smiling.
"Thank you." She leaned down to kiss my cheek before turning around and walking off.
I rubbed my cheek for a bit before standing up to go and find Neo. I watched her leave the funeral earlier and towards our caravan, where she was probably resting from the day.
I stood up to walk to the caravan.
"Oi, dipshit." I heard a flat voice behind me say, causing me to jump a bit as I spun around to see Amon smoking a cigarette and looking at me.
I growled in irritation. "What?"
He took a drag from his cigarette before speaking.
"Congratulations." He said in a tone where I could not tell whether he was being sarcastic or genuinely congratulating me.
"On what?" I asked, not understanding what he was saying and waiting for him to give me a backhanded compliment.
He started to look slightly irritated as he expelled smoke from his mouth. "On unlocking your semblance, you moron." He said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
My semblance?
"What do you mean?" I asked, all irritation gone from my voice.
"I mean when you ripped off that juvenile Beowolf's arm and yanked its tooth with your bare hands." He took another drag before letting the smoke out, "That semblance." He finished in a bored voice.
That...that was my semblance?
I didn't have enough time to contemplate what he told me as he walked off, "You don't seem like such a waste of time anymore, so tomorrow, I'll get ready to teach you some other shit you can use with your aura." He flicked his cigarette onto the ground, "Now, stop bugging me and go do whatever you're supposed to do."
I felt my eyebrow twitch in anger. "You are the one who started talking to me!" I shouted at him.
He ignored me and kept walking off towards the treeline. I shook my head and continued on my journey back to the caravan where I thought Neo was.
My semblance...my semblance.
I looked down at my hands and started clenching them to remember my strength when I killed that Grimm.
It was so easy; I felt strong, I felt powerful.
Could I have been already given a trump card? I imagined myself pulling that yellow-eyed bastard's head off as he screamed. The talking Grimm begging me not to kill it and the Hordes of Grimm being crushed underneath my feet.
I was so lost in thoughts that I didn't even realise that I had made it back to the caravan as I stood at the bottom of the stairs.
Five little steps now looked like a hundred as what I had to do made my stomach somersault in anticipation; I took a deep breath and walked up to the door.
I opened it and noticed it was completely dark, with only the moonlight illuminating the room from the window on the wall next to the top hammock. A tiny body had its back to me as it faced the wall; the only sign of life was the breaths it took in and out.
I breathed in through my nose and closed my eyes before opening them and expelling my breath as I walked to stand under her hammock.
I swallowed hard and found my throat to be incredibly dry.
"Hey, I...Uh, I-I just wanted to say-um..." I realised that I had no idea what I was going to say and found my feet more interesting to look at, "...I'm sorry for hurting you, Neo." A flash of Oak's dead body and Neo unable to hold back her tears came to my mind. "I'm also sorry about Oak; I didn't know you were friends." I said quietly, "...I know what that feels like."
I got no response from her, so I decided to go to bed with that sinking feeling in my belly.
I guess she doesn't like me.
I felt uneasy at that thought for some reason.
As I lay down, I heard sniffles from above me, and before I could say anything, Neo had landed in front of me, glaring with puffy eyes and tears slipping out as the moonlight highlighted her features.
"You stupid boy!" She shouted while pushing me, "I wasn't crying because he died!" She choked back a sob as she hugged me.
"I was crying because I thought that could have been you!" She said as she cried into my chest.
Me? Why would she care if...
I only looked down, confused at her, "Why would you care if it was me?" I asked, not understanding how I was making her cry like this. "I hurt you, didn't I?"
She shook her head and looked up at me, "I don't care about that; I just wanted you to come with me to be safe, and-and-and when you ran off to go fight, I was-" She took a shuddering breath. "-So scared that you had just run off to kill yourself for no reason!" She finished in a low whisper as she hugged me harder.
She kept crying into my chest as I sat there dumbfounded at what she told me. I felt like I was going to be sick, and it was getting hotter in the room.
I tried to move, but she held me tighter, "Promise me you won't do that again! That you won't leave me behind like that again!" She started raising her voice.
I didn't know what to say, "I-I-I-." I couldn't find the words.
She shook me, "PROMISE ME!" She yelled as she moved her hands up to my face.
Yellow eyes laughing as they set my mother alight, screams filling the silence as Grimm devoured them-
I looked into her eyes.
"I promise."
I lied.
She searched in my eyes for something before moving her hands back into a hug around me as we lay in my hammock. Soon all I could hear was her snores as she fell asleep on top of me.
I looked up to the window to see the night sky.
The broken moon.
I reached my hand up to grasp it and clenched it.
It didn't seem so far away now.
EDIT (21/12/2022): I decided to add more as re-reading this chapter didn't satisfy me with how it ended, so here are some extended interactions and a more concrete conclusion.
I based the nomads off Romani gipsies, which is the language I'll have them speak. See you next chapter!
Translations:
aluneca = slip off
nebun = lunatic
De către zei = By the gods
nerăbdător = impatient
lipitoare = leech
Remarcabil = Outstanding
Nici o problema = No problem
