EDIT: (22/12/22) Edited this chapter and chapter 5 and added extra scenes to flesh out characters and bring more characterisation.
I am hard at work on this story and just decided to go back to give it a little more oomph. I also have university to finish up, so it will take longer to finish the chapters.
Expect a new one about the new Year or January.
Dirt & Grit
Chapter 6
One year and one month later...
"You want me to what?" I asked in astonishment.
"You heard me, brat," Amon replied, pointing towards the tree branch, "Jump up and hold on to that branch for as long as you can."
I shook my head.
"Yeah, I heard that, but the next bit is what's confusing me," I pointed down to his hand.
"Why do you have a metal pipe?"
He smacked it into his palms a few times.
"Because I'm going to wail on you while you hang there." He explained as though it was just a matter of fact.
"But...But why?" I asked again in desperation.
He dared to sigh as though it should have been simple to understand.
"Look, numbnuts, I'm gonna break it down to you nice and simple," He pointed at me first, "You have a semblance which trades all of the defensive power of an aura into pure offensive power but leaves you completely vulnerable."
He pointed up at the tree branch.
"You currently have barely any strength in that body of yours and only have only survived by the skin of your teeth," He now pointed at his metal pipe, "So I'm going to hit you with this pipe with your aura down, and you are going to firm as much as you can before passing out."
He tilted his head at me.
"Understand now?"
I nodded, fearing that he would hit me around the head with it.
"Good." He nodded towards the tree branch, "Now get ready and hang on for dear life or this will hurt a bunch."
"Actually," He chuckled, "This will hurt a bunch."
I grumbled but made my way over to the branch but stopped for a minute.
"Can I ask why Neo doesn't have to do this?" I pointed to where Neo was sitting, eating a tub of ice cream, and looked non-plussed about what was happening.
"Because she isn't a glass cannon like you are, and her semblance isn't trying to murder her." He spat some phlegm on the ground, "Now get on that branch, or I'll start beating you normally with this."
I quickly leapt up to grab onto the branch and felt it bend slightly under my weight but held on firmly. I could already feel my grip aching, but I still held on.
"Ok, first things first," Amon said, "Let's get rid of that aura." He swung the pipe into my stomach, and I gasped as my aura shattered, but I still held on to the branch.
Oh, Gods! That hurt!
"Pipe down! That was only a love tap to get things started." He said as though he was reading my mind, "This is where the hell starts."
He had a sick look on his face as he raised the pipe again and slammed it into my stomach, causing me to retch and my grip to slip.
But I still held on.
"Wow. I honestly thought you would have crapped yourself on that one." Amon congratulated.
"F-f-fuck you!" I hissed through closed teeth trying to ignore the pain.
"That's the spirit!" He said as he slammed the pipe into my stomach again, driving the air out and making me lose my grip, causing me to crash into the ground.
I rolled around a bit, clutching my stomach and trying not to throw up.
He-he's a fucking maniac! A child-abusing maniac!
But...
But so was that guy...
That murdering fuck.
"Is that all you got, brat? Don't tell me I wasted a perfectly good pipe on you?" Amon taunted above me, his voice fading in and out.
This...this...this is nothing! I can take anything thrown my way!
I pushed myself back to my feet, wheezing with every breath.
Neo cheered me on from the back, and Amon had a raised eyebrow.
"WOOHOO! Go Gritty!"
"...Again," I muttered and leapt back up to the branch, where my hands and stomach screamed at me not to do it.
He had a small smile on his face but said nothing as he slammed the pipe into my stomach, making me see white spots and feel breakfast come rushing back up.
I-I-I will take all of it!
I gritted my teeth and got ready for the next blow.
It was a long morning.
But I held on.
It continued for another ten minutes before I collapsed onto the ground, vomiting and dry heaving while Neo rubbed my back in circles.
Amon loomed over me.
"Good job today," He said, dropping a towel in front of me.
I grabbed it to wipe my mouth.
"Rest up, and we'll pick it up again tomorrow."
I threw up again.
One year and four months later...
I couldn't sleep tonight.
Most of the time, I would be too tired to fight off the nightmares that attacked me and drop off to sleep.
But tonight...
Tonight I couldn't.
I couldn't stop hearing their screams. The screams of the village, the snarls of the Grimm and Mum...
Oh god, I could barely even remember what she looked like before she was...before she was...
"Look… away- *FTHWOOM*AIEEEGHAHAHGHH!"
My eyes stung, and I tried to keep the tears from falling but couldn't; all I could remember was her burnt body reaching out towards me as she moaned in agony.
I tried to picture what she looked like but couldn't as that scene played repeatedly.
Rubbing my eyes, I tried to turn and face the wall, but I still couldn't stop hearing the screaming.
Please...please, let me sleep tonight.
"Hey." A voice whispered in the dark behind me.
I was startled and turned to face it, revealing itself to be Neo, who stood there in her pyjamas watching me.
"Grit? Are you okay?" She asked, getting closer.
I quickly rubbed my eyes, feeling them dampen my sleeve, but I needed to hide the evidence.
"Y-yeah, I'm ok, just couldn't sleep," I replied, turning my face into my pillow.
She said nothing, and I thought she had gone back to her hammock, leaving me slightly disappointed. I then felt my hammock dip more into the ground, and a smaller body was pressed against mine.
"Liar," She whispered, stroking my hair slightly, "I heard you sniffling,"
She continued running her fingers through my hair, and I could feel myself calming down slightly.
"What's wrong, huh?" She leaned in closer, and I greedily took in her warmth. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I shook my head, "I wish."
She stopped stroking my head and instead pulled me into a hug with my head lying on her chest.
Her heartbeat was steady and comforting.
"What's got you all upset then?"
I said nothing but just dug myself deeper into her.
I-I can't tell her...not all of it.
"I-" I swallowed hard, "-I miss my mum."
I felt hot tears slip out of my eyes while I bit my lip, trying to muffle my sobs.
Neo went back to stroking my hair but stayed quiet for a moment before speaking.
"What was she like?"
"Huh?"
"Your mum," I could feel her tilt her head down in the dark, "What was she like?"
I thought about it for only a second.
"She was kind, loving, funny and always had time for me whenever I was sad," I thought of home and the smell of crumble, "She used to," I swallowed again, "She used to make this apple crumble which was always gooey yet sweet, and the crumbs on top were always so crunchy."
I could hear Autumn and Dad's laughter as they annoyed mum.
I started giggling, "One time, me and my sister wanted to play a prank on my dad before he left for work, and we thought about dropping a water bucket on his head over the door," Neo stayed silent but laughed a little as she listened, "But mum caught us and said she didn't want to clean all of that mess but came up with something else we could do."
"Instead me, my sister and my Mum put some glue down his shoes so he wouldn't be able to take them off!" I giggled harder at the memory, "When dad found out, he was so pissed and had to cut the end of his boots off, so only his toes were out."
"We kept calling him glue shoe for the whole day as he chased us around the house!" I couldn't stop snickering at the memory, and I could feel Neo's body shake with silent laughter.
It was a good day then, a really good day.
But now...
Now it was over...I wasn't back in the village.
I was in a dark caravan travelling around Remnant, hoping to get revenge on a man I barely knew anything about.
I felt so...alone.
My eyes burned, and I could taste salt on my tongue as I wept quietly into Neo's chest.
"I miss them so much," I mumbled, trying to dry my tears into her shirt.
There was only quiet as she went back to stroking my hair; I thought I had scared her, that she wouldn't want to say anything else and was looking for an excuse to leave.
"You're lucky, you know?" She broke the quiet and leaned her head into my hair to talk into it, "I didn't have a mama or a dad to look after me when I was growing up."
I said nothing as I thought about how horrible that would have been if I didn't have my mum or dad.
"I had nothing until I came here," She leaned back from my hair, "Now I have so many people I care about that I would consider my family; Rozalia is like my mum, Myron is like my uncle, Amon is a like a dad to me and..." She squeezed me tighter.
"...I care about you." She whispered, and I froze.
"And the thought of losing any of them...well, it hurts," She loosened her grip on my back and cupped my face to look at her, her pink eyes shining in the dark, "Seeing you upset like this breaks my heart, I don't want you to cry Grit."
"I want you to be happy for yourself; I want you to be comfortable around here - around me."
She leaned down to kiss my forehead, and it felt like a searing mark, and I subconsciously held her tighter.
"I know it can't replace what you lost, but..." She yawned a little bit, "...try and give it a go around here."
I couldn't give her an answer.
I felt so...tired now.
"Hey, Neo?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you stay here tonight? Please?" I mumbled.
"...Of course I can." She replied, holding me tighter in the dark.
Could I have a new family?
Yellow eyes stared at me.
No...I don't deserve one.
I can't leave it alone...I can't.
Not while he's still out there.
I drifted to sleep dreaming about the violence I would inflict upon him. His cries of mercy and pain made me feel giddy.
While trying my best to ignore the comforting heat in front of me.
Two years later…
I felt the wind leave my body as Amon's boot dug into my stomach, making me retch. I held onto my consciousness to dig my heel into the ground and leaned upwards to slash him with my wooden sword. I met only air and felt his concrete fist dig in behind me and into my kidney, making my insides spasm with pain as I hacked out, blood staining the grass red. I collapsed to my knee, gasping for breath before another fist smashed into my temple, sending me flying a few feet left.
I blacked out for a moment before coming back to consciousness, where I first saw Amon's boot standing in front of me. My skull felt like lead as I tried lifting it to see him lighting up a cigarette before leaning his head back to avoid a wooden staff being thrust at his head and a small pink-haired girl already turning around to try to kick him in the jaw. He ducked under her kick, grabbed the offending leg and smashed her into the ground, causing her to shatter into glass fragments and allowing me to leap up towards him to deck him in the nose.
I felt my aura shatter and rush into my body, making me stronger and faster to try to reach him as anger pumped through my body. He spun round to backhand me, causing me to drop my sword, which I kicked back into my hand to thrust at him while my other hand came in for a hook. I found no resistance, and I then felt him kick me in the back, sending me to the ground and eating a mouthful of dirt.
Dirty fucking cheating semblance!
Neo came flying in from above as she went to smash his head in. He stepped backwards, making her crash into the ground. Before she could recover, he stomped on her back, making her gasp as the breath left her body and her aura shattered, making her collapse. I snarled and went to get back up with a handful of dirt to chuck in his before he turned back to me to kick my hand, holding the dirt in my face, blinding me and causing me automatically try to wipe it out of my eyes. He took advantage of this to grab the back of my head and break my face into the ground until I fell unconscious.
Motherfucker.
I felt something shaking me as I started waking up from my short-lived coma.
"-ke up," A voice called from the darkness.
What?
I tried to speak, but it felt like my mouth was filled with cotton as I garbled out whatever words I could find.
"-Over Grit-," recollections of the beating I received came back into my mind like a budget movie.
I cracked my eyes open to see the familiar bob of pink hair leaning over me with a smile on her face. I grunted and pushed her out of the way "-Hey-!" as I coughed up dirt and other crap that went into my mouth. Sitting up, I clenched the grass in my hand in frustration as I took in the fact that I had lost again, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
Neo put her hand on my shoulder and smiled, "Come on, Gritty, you knew we weren't going to beat Amon anytime soon." I grunted and reached my hand up to touch my nose gently. Stinging pain was the response as my nose dripped blood onto my hand. I started to feel the all too familiar sensation of anger sit in the bottom of my stomach as I had to lick my wounds again.
"Fuck!" I punched the ground repeatedly, not understanding why I couldn't even land a scratch on Amon after three years. I felt cheated, I felt pathetic, and I felt so weak. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I took in Neo, who waited for me to get over my anger. She, too, was covered in bruises and cuts while she waited for her aura to recharge.
We had both grown differently than a few years ago, I was now eleven, and she was thirteen. While I had grown taller and bigger, standing over her by almost half a foot, she had remained the same height but had…grown in other places. Her hair had gotten longer, and she had started wearing lower-cut shirts and heels courtesy of Rozalia, whom she started hanging around with more and more as we grew up.
I felt my face heat up as she leaned closer to me with a smile and a raised eyebrow while I wished for her to go away.
"Oh? What's wrong, Gritty? Do you have a fever?" She said in a low voice, "Did you catch a cold last night~?" She sang as she tried to get closer and look like…something? But whatever it was, it was ruined by the bruises on her face.
I pushed her away, "No! I don't." I shouted, gently pushing her away from me. "And my name is not Gritty!" I finished taking a few deep breaths to calm myself and shuffled away from her.
Neo giggled and opened her mouth to say something.
"When you two are done with your gross flirting, I need you to listen." A voice cut in.
We both stopped what we were doing and looked up to Amon taking a puff of a cigarette as he stared at us with a disgusted look. Neo grinned and saluted before crossing her legs to listen to what he had to say. I grunted as I stood up to look up at him and hear what he had to say.
He took another drag of his cigarette before flicking it off to the side and rubbing his forehead. "Ok first things first." He started, "Stop. Rushing. In." He punctuated each word by knocking our heads together, causing us to shout in pain and rub the spots we bumped into each other.
"I know you two think you are invincible because you got some grand spanking new powers to use. But let me tell you something," He leaned in with his hands on his hips, "You aren't." He glared at us with his dark eyes turning a few shades darker. I and Neo looked at each other before looking back.
You pointed to Neo, "While you can make incredible life-like illusions that you can use to trick and slip up your opponents, it only takes someone proficient in Aura sensing to know that it ain't you, and then they'll stab you in the neck." Neo looked down at her feet, "You also get irrationally angry whenever I smash-" He pointed to me, "-his face in. That is a weakness you must contain or get rid of; otherwise, you will die, Neo." Neo tried to look further into her lap as her ears turned red.
He then turned to me with a scowl.
Oh, brothers, here we go again.
"And how many times have I got to tell you, dipshit, to stop burning through your semblance? If you want to toss your life away, that's fine but do it in your own time." He started pacing back and forwards, "While your semblance allows you to absorb your aura inwards to increase your strength and speed to beyond superhuman levels, it also leaves you completely defenceless." He pushed me with his hand. "A glass cannon, they would call you." He finished as I landed on my ass; I glared at him but didn't say anything; there was silence for a moment before he threw two towels at our feet.
I looked at him as he pointed to his left, "There's a stream that way; clean yourselves up and then go find Rozalia. She'll start teaching you how to sense aura and then tell you your chores for the day." We nodded, which he accepted, and we walked in the opposite direction back to camp. I glowered after him for a bit before closing my eyes and just trying to let it go. Neo shook my shoulder, making me open my eyes as she nodded towards the stream.
"Come on, get cleaned up and then go back to camp." She stopped and then put her finger on her lip, "Unless you want to do something else~" She cooed, making my face ignite and causing me to barge past her towards the stream. I was a few seconds ahead of her as she laughed.
"Oh man, you should see your face when I say stuff like that!" She clutched her stomach as we walked, or in my case, speed walked. I growled in irritation as I did my best to ignore her teasing as I tried to get lost in my thoughts regarding my semblance.
It's a pile of fucking shit! What use is being stronger if anything can fucking kill me instantly? I won't be able to do anything, especially if-when I find him and that monster.
I'm just gonna end up dead when I fight him because I am just so...so...
Weak.
My hand clenched and unclenched as I imagined strangling that fucking yellow-eyed animal. Suddenly I felt eyes dig into me as I turned to my side to try and find the offending perpetrator.
Neo looked at me with pity as she gazed at my scowling face.
"Don't look at me like that." I spat as I turned my head back towards the stream, ignoring the shaking of her head.
"You know you can't keep getting upset whenever you lose." She said as she skipped a bit ahead of me. She stopped to turn around to talk to me, "You have to accept the fact that Amon is stronger than you. That most people are stronger than us right now."
No.
I couldn't accept that; I just couldn't.
"Yeah, that's easy for you to say; you don't have a semblance that is trying to kill you every time you use it," I said, keeping pace with her.
What the hell would she know? I've been putting everything into this, and I'm getting shit back!
"Because you only know how to go zero to a hundred; you have no restraint, Grit!" She admonished, making me flinch as I acknowledged the truth in her words.
She sighed, "You just need to take it down a notch and start using that brain of yours." She paused briefly before smiling, "That is if you didn't eat it with all that dirt earlier."
I tried to fight the smile, but hearing Neo giggle made me cool down and quietly laugh. She was right, of course; it seemed like the past few years, she was someone I could talk to. The only person I could talk to. I didn't ever connect with the Nomads, and I couldn't find it in my heart to even try.
Rozalia was…kind, but I had nothing to do with her besides chores, training or the occasional talk whenever I messed up. Myron was fine with me, but I don't think he forgave me for that incident two years ago; we only sparred now and then, but it didn't have the same atmosphere as it did before.
Amon was…Amon; a complete and utter asshole who got a kick out of beating up children. This left me with Neo, who had been attached to me every day since I arrived and even more so since that night with my nightmare.
"Finally! We're here." I was broken out of my thoughts by the sound of Neo's voice as I looked to see we had arrived at the stream.
It was quiet, and the only sound that could be heard was the water rushing by and the sound of insects or animals deep in the woods.
Before I could say anything, Neo was already stripping off her clothes and slowly dipping her toes to check the temperature. She looked satisfied as she fully stepped in.
W-Woah.
I shook my head before peeling my shirt and trousers off, leaving me only in the nude. I purposefully looked away from Neo and moved further downstream to not think of anything weird about her.
My plan failed as I heard Neo wolf whistle when she saw my scarred back, making the blood rush to my head as I sat down in the cold water to start cleaning my face. I pumped my aura through my body to keep myself warm, watching as my dried blood drifted downstream and felt my body become looser; I sat in the water for a bit and closed my eyes to try and relax.
What's Neo doing?
I opened my eyes slightly to see that Neo had soaked her head and was now washing her body with her back turned to me. I saw a wagon wheel tattoo on her back, indicating her connection with the Nomads.
I had never gotten one as I didn't see the point; I wouldn't be here forever and would leave as soon as I knew I had enough strength. These people weren't my family, and I didn't want them to be.
I kept staring at her back until she turned around with raised eyebrows, "See something you like?" She asked sarcastically.
I didn't rise to the bait and kept gazing at her back, trying to find…something in her tattoo.
"Hey, Neo?" I said, looking into her eyes now.
"Yeah?" She replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Why are you here?" I asked as she turned fully to face me. I kept my eyes locked on hers as she tilted her head.
"Why am I here? I'm washing the blood off my face-."
I shook my head, "No. I meant, why are you here? With the Nomads? How did you end up here exactly?" I asked.
She looked at me briefly as though she were debating something before sharing.
"You don't have a lot of tact, do you? " She had no emotion, "I was born in Vale from what I can remember and I was about six when Amon found me." She sat down in the stream, wringing her hair dry as she reminisced.
Vale?
"But how did Amon find you?" I questioned, now more curious than when I started.
She didn't speak for a minute, "…I tried to rob him."
I didn't know what to say for a few seconds before I found my voice trying to fight the smile creeping in.
"Why?"
She looked away and found a pebble more interesting than my face. "Because I was hungry, and he looked like he had some money." She muttered.
I said nothing as she looked back up at me before sighing, "I bet you know how well that turned out." She glumly said as I imagined Amon kicking her into a dumpster.
"After he kicked my ass, he asked if I was tired of fighting for scraps and if I wanted to get some proper food." She started shaking her head. "I was so hungry then that I didn't care who he was or where he would take me; I just needed something to eat."
"Although, looking back now, he could have been some kid diddler, and I would have just walked straight into the lion's jaws." She giggled a bit as she wistfully looked at the other side of the stream, "But now it was probably the best decision I could have ever made."
I said nothing as I stared at her and thought of my next question.
"But why did you stay?" I asked in earnest.
She looked at me confused, "What do you mean? I've told you before, haven't I? I eat three square meals daily, Rozalia taught me how to read, Amon teaches me how to fight, and I only have to do a few daily chores while travelling around Remnant." She laughed, "Why wouldn't I stay?"
There was only the sound of the water running as we stayed silent. Neo decided to speak again.
"I guess if you want me to say it again, it's because…." She thought for a moment, "…I have people I love here." She smiled sadly, "Is it so wrong to want a family?"
I said nothing for a moment, "No. There's nothing wrong with that." I replied, leaving us in comfortable silence.
"I noticed you haven't got the tattoo yet." Neo broke the silence. "Don't you want this to be your family too?" There was no accusation in her voice nor judgement. Just curiosity.
Flashes of that night came unbidden as I tried my hardest not to think about it.
I grabbed my head and tried to fight off the memories that cursed my mind, the ghosts that still haunted me.
Spilt guts, empty skulls, the snarls of dark creatures mixed with the screams of people, oh god, don't let me die-
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried not to cry. I would not cry, never again, I swore. Crying was a weakness; weakness led to mistakes, and mistakes led to death.
And I won't die until I get what's mine…
I realised I hadn't answered Neo, making me turn to look at her but then realise she wasn't there anymore.
Where is she-
I felt a pair of soft, slightly scarred arms hug my neck from behind, and a head sat on top of mine. Her hair tickled my nose as I breathed her in; I didn't feel excited but…relaxed. She then brought her mouth down to my ear as she breathed out, making me shiver.
"Why don't you want the tattoo?" She gently asked, making my mouth dry as I thought about the answer.
Because I…I…I
"…I already had a family," I whispered as I slumped more into her arms, "It wouldn't be right to replace them." I felt the lump come back into my throat as I tried to fight it.
Don't cry, you weakling.
Neo's arms held me tighter as I tried to fight the feelings that I buried deep inside me. But maybe…just maybe, I could let go?
Neo cooed in my ear, "It's ok, Grit. You aren't replacing them; you are just making space in your heart." If possible, I felt her arms tighten as my eyes started staining. "There's always enough room for anyone if you want."
Maybe…maybe I could? Is it all right? I'm not doing anything wrong...
I was ready to let myself get swept up in my emotions, prepared to feel something after all these years.
I looked across the stream to the trees.
My heart turned to ice.
Autumn? Autumn, why are you looking at me like that?
She stood amongst the trees, looking like she had been chewed up and spat out, her lone silver eye that wasn't hanging out glaring at me.
Please, Autumn…I swear I haven't forgotten!
She said nothing and glared, but I could still hear her voice.
'Murderer'
I-I-I…I know but-
Mum stepped out next to her, burnt to a crisp with only clumps of her hair left, allowing me to recognise her. Her mouth was stuck in an open soundless scream.
Mum, please! I know! I know! But can't I just-!
Her blackened, lipless mouth strained with the movement to speak, but her voice still came out all the same.
'Coward'
I tried to look away but couldn't tear my eyes away as a figure in dark armour came walking out to join them in the trees, silver light pouring out of his eyes like fire. I felt fear as he glared at me in hatred.
Dad…I'm sorry…I-
He said nothing as he glared at me, but I still heard his voice.
'Failure'
…I know I am. I'm so sorry…
They all stared at me, conveying their message as I looked away in shame for being the weakling who couldn't even save them.
'Don't forget your promise, weakling.'
Their voices cut deep as I remembered my oath. My mission. My purpose. The familiar sensation of anger crept around my body; I looked up to see my family gone from the trees.
That didn't matter anymore; what mattered was I nearly forgot.
I nearly forgot everything for just a moment.
But a moment is all it takes for weakness to take hold, and I am not weak.
I will never be weak again.
Neo…Neo!
I became aware of her arms caging me as I shrugged them off to stand up, splashing water. I whipped around to glare at her with disgust as I realised what she was trying to do! She was trying to get me to let my guard down so she could take advantage of me! I wasn't going to let that happen.
"You think I don't know what you're doing?" I hissed at her as she dared to look confused, "You are trying to catch me off guard! Make me slip up so you can hurt me! Well, I'm not going to let you!" I walked out of the stream as she stood up too.
Neo was befuddled as she tried to talk to me, "Grit, what are you talking about?" I ignored her. "Grit, what the fuck are you talking about!?" She shouted at me
I grabbed my shirt and trousers to put them on, purposefully ignoring the dampness of my clothes as I marched back to camp. I heard Neo trying to catch up to me as she screamed at me, "You are such a fucking crybaby! Oh, I'm so sorry for trying to cheer you up and maybe help you forget what's bothering you!" I tried my best not to listen to her as my fists clenched, "You know what? Maybe if I knew what a big fucking whiny pussy you were, I wouldn't have bothered!" We had made it back to camp, and her screaming had attracted the attention of the rest of the Nomads.
I couldn't take it anymore. "Shut up and leave me alone, you tramp!" I yelled back at her. There was silence for a moment as Neo's face slackened in hurt as she stood there dressed in damp clothes before it turned to rage as she screamed and leapt at me. We fell to the ground in a mess of limbs trying to pinch, punch and pull whatever we could of each other with the goal of maximum pain.
I don't know how long we stayed tangled before I felt myself get lifted by rough hands, and Neo was pulled away as well. We were held up in the air but still tried to go for each other with kicks and punches that barely connected. We were shaken a few times before being thrown in opposite directions; I fell into what felt like a stone wall.
Hands grabbed me, and I felt like I couldn't even move as I was held.
I could feel my rage thrashing around my body as my semblance begged to be released. I could see Neo had the same idea as she tried to escape from…Rozalia?
Who's holding me?!
I didn't have enough time to think before a mass appeared to punch me in the stomach, making me cough up saliva and resulting in the hands holding me letting go.
I heard a heavy, aggressive sigh from the mass that hit me. "Brother's balls, I send you both to do two simple things; 'wash up' and 'go to Rozalia'." He walked into the middle, where I saw Neo in the same position hacking up phlegm, "Apparently, you two retards can't even manage that, as you decided to punch each other up instead. Which don't get me wrong, I see no problem with but," Amon paced between us as we snarled at each other. "You don't do it in the middle of the camp!" He shouted instantly, making us cower.
He kneeled in front of me, "So I'm going to ask you what happened first." He grabbed my jaw and made me face him instead of Neo. His emotionless gaze peered into me, "Go ahead; we're waiting." He asked as though he already knew the answer.
"She tried to-tried t-uh, she-!" I stuttered, suddenly finding that my anger from earlier was evaporating as I tried to make sense of the why.
Huh? But-but I swear she was trying to…
My stomach turned into a knot as I looked at Neo, who gave me a death stare that promised nothing but pain. I tried to justify it because I was angry at her for something, but I couldn't find anything wrong as the words died in my throat.
Amon took my silence as an answer as he grunted before standing back up to look back and forward between us as he came to a silent conclusion in his mind.
"Rozalia, take Neo with you and Myron; you take Grit to blow off some steam." He brushed the dirt off his knees, "Don't bring either of them back until they become less heated. We don't need the Grimm swarming this place." I saw Rozalia nod, and I looked back to see Myron standing there, shaking his head at me.
I looked back to Neo, who had already gotten up to follow Rozalia away in a different direction to the camp. I felt Myron haul me up and pull me along in the opposite direction, which I didn't resist as I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from Neo's retreating form as she turned her head to give me one final glare.
I…
I turned back to follow Myron as we headed to his dark green caravan. He stopped at the door before turning to me.
"Wait here." He commanded before walking in; I stood there silent while my stomach felt queasy. He returned with two bows and a quiver full of arrows and nodded towards the woods.
Is he going to kill me? No, that's dumb. It was just a…just a dumb fight.
I numbly followed him into the woods, wondering what punishment awaited me there.
We walked for about twenty minutes before he stopped to kneel and touch the ground. He stood back up again as he unhooked one of the bows and handed it to me, which I only stared dumbly at.
"Uh, what?" I asked.
He shook the bow in front of me again, "Take the bow, and I'll explain." He said with an even tone.
I looked at him before looking back at the bow deciding to take it. The wood felt rough and seemed to be made in a rush; I flicked the bowstring to test its tensile strength.
Myron stood over me, "We are going hunting for food." He pointed at the ground, where I saw a hoof print in it, "And by we, I mean you." He said like it was a matter of fact.
He waited for me to speak as I tried to wrap my brain around what he was asking of me.
Hunt? As in…kill something?
"I…I've never killed something before." I let my dilemma be known as I looked up into his blue eyes.
He clapped my shoulder to squeeze it, "Well, one of us was going to teach you eventually." He let go as he shouldered his bow, "Might as well have it be today." He grinned as he turned around.
Why isn't he mad at me?
I left my question in my mind as he gestured for me to follow him.
"Look at these prints in the dirt, Grit." He pointed down into the mud, where another hoof print was imprinted. "We're going to be following a deer by these tracks, fresh too, so she can't have gotten far." His eyes followed the trail which led further into the woods.
Why isn't he yelling at me?
I nodded as he moved again, with me trailing behind him in silence. We stayed like that for a bit as we went through bushes and brambles while Myron pointed out new tracks and signs that the deer was nearby.
"So," Myron started speaking, "What happened between you and Neo?" He asked as we ducked under a branch. "You were both acting like om nebun."
I said nothing as I thought about my meltdown at Neo.
She hates my guts now; I probably have to sleep in another caravan.
He took my silence as an answer.
"Well, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but keep your eyes open, all right?" He said before slowing down a bit.
I was lost in my own world and couldn't help but drift out as he talked. I don't know why I flipped my shit out so badly on her for no reason.
I can't forget my family; it's not right, especially since I got them all killed. I don't want a new family; I don't deserve one…
I clenched the bow harder and swallowed as I refocused on Myron crouching low, which he gestured me to do as well. I ducked down next to him as he pointed in front of him; a giant deer was drinking from a small lake, unaware we were watching her.
It's huge! That could feed everyone for months!
"Stay quiet and draw your bow." He whispered as he handed me an arrow which I nocked.
He shuffled behind me and guided my hands into a firing position.
I felt myself panic.
"W-what are you doing?" I whispered, starting to feel my hands shake slightly as I aimed my bow at the animal.
Myron held my hands steady as he murmured back, "You are feeding the camp tonight, and if you don't, we will go hungry." My hands were locked in position.
Everyone will go hungry? But why? Why do I have to be responsible for everyone?
My eyes began to sting for the hundredth time today as I looked at the animal, unaware it was about to be murdered. I thought about the family that was waiting for her to come home.
"…I-I can't do it; please don't make me do it," I begged as my voice started to pick up in volume but not loud enough to spook the deer.
"Shh," Myron hushed me as he eased up his grip and looked me in the eye, "Why can't you do it? If you can't do this, how will you get revenge?" He asked, his tone devoid of all judgement.
I flinched, "That's-That's entirely different." I whispered harshly as my throat got tighter.
He cocked an eyebrow, "Is it? Life is still taken regardless of who or what it is." He let go of my hands to turn me around to face him. "If you have to kill, make sure you can justify it to yourself; you want to kill the man who took everything from you, and we need to kill that deer so no one goes hungry tonight." He dropped his hands to his sides and focused completely on me.
"Listen, Grit, you will make many tough decisions in life that will seem cruel or unfair, and it will make you want to cry." His voice was higher now, making the deer look up from her drinking, "But at the end of the day, it's a choice you have to make. If you don't care what happens to anyone tonight, then we'll stop and go back, no questions asked." He put his hand on my shoulder.
"But will you be able to sleep tonight knowing that you could have made something better for someone?" He asked, looking deep into my eyes.
I looked down at my feet.
It's not my responsibility to help these people.
I fiddled with the bow in my hands.
I don't owe anyone anything.
I looked up at the deer.
But if I don't do this…
I brought the bow up to aim.
…Rozalia, Myron and Neo won't eat, which will hurt them, and it will be all my fault.
I felt Myron's hand go over mine to steady my aim, "Good…Steady, wait for my mark." He murmured.
I don't want to hurt the people I care about.
I pulled the bowstring back taut as the deer looked towards where we were.
If it's for them, I will do anything.
"Breath Grit…focus…ready…" He stepped away from me as I stared into her eyes, and she into mine.
Confusion. Fear. Curiosity.
I held my breath and lined up the shot, pushing down the churning in my stomach as I waited for Myron's signal.
Time went on forever.
"Mark!" He shouted, confusing the deer and the arrow being released from its string.
I watched it sail in slow motion as it landed inside its neck, causing it to yelp and let out noises of distress making my hands clammy as I watched her throw her neck back and forth before lying on the ground.
I felt exhilarated and disgusted as I watched it collapse, wheezing with each breath. I turned to Myron in panic, watching him stand up and gesturing for me to follow him quickly as we made our way over to the deer.
I walked over with shaky legs as we knelt next to its head. I felt like crying watching it suffer as distress was plain in its eyes, trying to end its pain.
I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked to see Myron holding out a large knife towards me. I thought my stomach would come out of my throat; I thought my shooting would be enough.
Myron was oblivious to my internal struggle or ignored it, "If you start this Grit, you have to finish it." He said in a gentle voice.
I struggled to swallow as I took the knife out of his hands and guided it toward the dying deer.
Where do I even stab it?
My hands shook as I couldn't commit to ending this poor animal's life.
She didn't do anything to me…she was trying to live, and I killed her.
Myron's hand came on top of mine as he helped guide the knife towards its neck, "The cruellest thing you can do is leave something to die instead of putting it out of its misery." We hovered over the artery.
"Show mercy to those that deserve it." He softly said as he took his hands off mine.
I only felt slight resistance as it penetrated her neck to bleed her out as painlessly as possible before taking it back out. The deer let out a small gasp and whined before her breathing became shallower as I watched the life drain from her eyes.
Then nothing. No, inhale of air and no life from her eyes.
That was it.
Dead.
I watched in shock as I took in the fact that I had taken the life of something. I looked at the knife covered in blood and back to the dead deer.
Was it that easy?
I felt Myron put his arm around my shoulder, squeezing me while I leaned into him, seeking any comfort I could find as he took the knife back.
We stayed silent for a moment before he let go and stood over me. He stuck his hand out to pull me up, which I accepted as he hauled me up effortlessly.
"Do you know why I had you do that?" He asked.
I shook my head, holding back my tears.
"I want you to understand that if and when you have to take a life, you must have a good reason or at least be able to look at yourself in the mirror." He looked down at the deer's carcass, "You killed this deer not out of pleasure but out of a responsibility to those you care about, whether that be everyone at camp or just a person." He looked back at me.
"So, I'm going to ask you." He tilted my chin, "Why did you kill that deer?" He asked.
I only thought for a moment as I wiped my eyes.
"Because I didn't want you, Rozalia or Neo to go hungry."
His face betrayed nothing before he smiled, "Good." He squatted to pick up the deer and throw her over his shoulder. "So," He shuffled her body to be more comfortable, "What happened between you two?" He asked once more.
"I…I got angry at her." I kicked a stone in front of me, "She was just trying to help and…and I lashed out at her." Myron hummed as we began walking back.
"What did you get angry at?" We were ducking under branches.
I looked away, embarrassed, as I explained what happened, what I saw and thought. Myron stayed quiet as I spoke, only letting out 'hms' or asking me to clarify certain points as he listened.
I finished and noticed that we were halfway back to camp, and for some reason, I was anxious to know what he had to say before we got back.
He stopped walking, making me stumble a few steps as I stood before him.
Myron looked up for a minute before looking back at me, "Well, if you want my honest opinion." I leaned forward, "You are both wrong and right."
Huh?
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Myron started walking again, "I think Neo was right in trying to help you feel better, but she shouldn't have tried to pressure you into getting the mark." He explained as he ducked under another branch, "I also think that you were right to feel upset that you felt like you were replacing your family, but I don't think it was right to lash out at Neo." He was ahead of me now as I tried to catch up.
I was confused, "So, you aren't mad at me?" He laughed at that.
"Mad? Of course, I'm not mad; you guys are just kids having a spat with each other. It's completely normal." He chuckled and shook his head, "And you are still mourning for that which you lost."
But…but I don't…
"So why did we come out here then?" I gestured at that deer, "Why did we do this?" I dropped my hands.
I still felt queasy about killing.
So much blood.
He shuffled the deer up further on his muscled shoulder. "We were out here because I wanted to teach you." He gestured his head at the deer, "I wanted you to learn that regardless of how mad you are at each other, you would still do anything for the ones you love."
"I also hope you learnt how precious life is." He looked forward again, "That it can be taken away at any second regardless of the reason." Myron glanced back at me, "How did you feel when you killed it?"
I thought back to shooting the deer and driving the knife into her neck.
Her life drained out of her eyes as my stomach did frontflips.
"I felt horrible, like really horrible," I said in a low voice as Myron grunted.
"Good." He said, "Killing should never be easy, nor should it ever be enjoyed." We were about five minutes from camp. "It should only ever be used for survival or if your life is in danger." He lectured as I could now hear faint noises and the smell of campfires.
We stopped again as he turned to look at me, "And because you know how precious life is, can you waste it being mad at those you love when any day could be your last?" He stated as I looked away from him.
"…No," I said quietly, looking back at his smiling face.
"Atta boy." He replied as we started moving again.
We arrived on the outskirts of the camp, where I took it all in again. The other kids were running around, and the adults were chatting and laughing around the campfire, doing other chores, or relaxing.
Was this place always so…alive?
I felt like I was seeing this place through fresh eyes as Neo's words rang through my head again.
'…I have people I love here….'
This place is important to Neo.
'…Is it so wrong to want a family?'
No, it isn't.
I looked up at Myron, specifically Myron's wagon tattoo on his neck, as an idea popped into my mind. I tugged on his shirt to get his attention, which worked as he turned round to look at me with a raised eyebrow waiting for me to speak.
"Uh…I want to…I want to…I'm sorry." I muttered as he dropped the carcass on the floor before rolling his shoulder.
"About what?" he asked.
"I'm sorry for what I said to you all those years ago…." I felt incredibly awkward, "…I know you were just trying to keep me safe, and I was just an asshole to you." I felt my ears burn, "So…I'm sorry."
We were silent for a moment before he lightly laughed. "Ha-ha, you're still on that? I already forgot about it!" He slapped my shoulder, "I just wanted to give you your space until you cooled down, don't worry about it, kiddo."
I was stunned and tried to fight the smile on my face, so I looked away.
"Thanks," I said, trying to keep a neutral look, "But I also have something else to say."
"Oh?"
I pointed at the wagon tattoo on his neck.
"I want to get the mark," I stated with no room for argument.
Myron looked into my eyes before shrugging, "Sure. Why not." He picked the carcass up again and hefted it over his shoulder walking straight to his caravan. "Rozalia has been waiting for you to do it for years anyway."
We were outside his caravan as he dropped the deer once more, "I'll get Rozalia to come round, and we can do it at mine." He pulled his knife out again, "But before that, I'm going to teach you how to skin and gut a deer." He flipped the knife so the handle was facing me.
I cringed before I took the knife.
My right shoulder hurt as I walked out of Myron's caravan. I was told to let it rest for a couple of hours while waiting for my aura to heal. I could hear crickets and the crackling of a fire in the night.
Shit, if I knew it would hurt that bad, I might have just not done it.
I looked at my rolled sleeves, showing my new black wagon wheel tattoo reddened by its freshness. I felt a strange sense of pride and belonging as other camp members walked by with approving nods or claps on the back.
"Looking good, Grit!"
"I always knew ye were one of us."
"Frate frumos de cerneală"
I felt embarrassed as I walked around, finding that the camp was suddenly much more enjoyable than normal.
But I have to find Neo.
I rolled down my shirt sleeve to hide my mark, wincing through the pain. I walked round and round, starting to get pissed off that I couldn't find her.
I was about to give up before I felt something bounce off the back of my head.
"Ow!" I turned to look at the floor to see a pebble on the floor. I followed its trajectory to look up to see Neo sitting on top of a caravan.
Her pink hair was in a ponytail, and she looked guarded as she gazed at me.
"You're annoying." She said as she continued sitting there. "I've been watching you walk around for fifteen minutes looking for me and would've said nothing if you didn't keep grumbling."
I rubbed my head, "Sorry."
I didn't think I was that loud.
We stared at each other in silence before she broke it.
"So, what do you want? Want to yell at me again? Tell me I'm trying to ruin your life or murder you?" Her eyes narrowed, "Or do you want to call me a tramp again?" She spat, waiting for my answer.
I knew words wouldn't suffice, so I rolled up my right sleeve again, showing off my new tattoo and making her gasp as she leapt gracefully.
She came right up to my arm, gingerly touching and poking it before a smile was slapped on her face.
"So, you do want this to be your family, then?" She beamed.
I shook my head, "No, I don't." She looked confused as she switched her gaze back and forth from the tattoo to me.
I sighed, "No, this is your family, Neo." I moved my tongue around my mouth, trying to find the right words. "This place -These people- are important to you, and you, Myron, and Rozalia are important to me, so…" I looked straight into her eyes, "…It's important to me too." I finished waiting for her reaction.
She said nothing for ten seconds before pulling me into a gentle hug and whispered into my chest: "Thank you, Grit…" she snuggled deeper into my chest before letting go.
My face felt incredibly hot as I shifted onto my back leg, "No problem, and I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean it."
She waved her hand, "Ah, it's all right, water under the bridge, am I right?" She said before taking my hand and leading me somewhere.
"Uh, where are you taking me?" I asked in trepidation.
She looked back while pulling me along, "Rozalia is going to tell a story at the fire today, and I promised I would be there." She answered, causing me to go silent.
I had never sat round the fire before in the years since I had been here. I was too focused on sparring, training my aura or doing chores around the camp to ever want to.
All I could think of when I saw that fire was the last night I was back home and…how it all went wrong.
We came upon the fire where most of the camp was sitting or standing in various positions; Logs, grass, or just hovering around as Rozalia stood in the centre.
She noticed us come over, "Ah! Neo and…Grit! This is a surprise; come sit down anywhere you please!" She called as we sat down near the front.
Neo held on to my arm in front of everyone resulting in 'awws' from the women and whistles from the men, much to my embarrassment.
"Ok, ok, settle down, you drunks! Let me get to my story." She pulled red dust out of her sleeve and ignited it over the fire allowing her control over it to create different shapes.
"Cool!" I shouted before I could stop myself, I slapped a hand over my mouth, but it was too late as Neo started giggling.
Stupid mouth.
Rozalia smirked but didn't say anything, "Now listen, well, everyone, this is a tale for the children tonight. This is the tale of 'The Red King and The Witch'."
As Rozalia set the scene, I sat further forward, already intrigued by the title.
"It was the Red King, and he bought ten ducats' worth of victuals. He cooked them, and he put them in a press. And he locked the press, and from night to night posted people to guard the victuals…."
Rozalia was mesmerising as she spoke; it felt like I was truly immersed in the story. I felt Neo squeeze into me more as we listened.
This…isn't so bad.
As Rozalia told her story, I was so enraptured that I could barely even feel my family's staring at me from behind the trees.
Their gazes filled with spite.
Translations:
om nebun = Mad men
Frate frumos de cerneală = Beautiful ink brother
