Chapter 2

Emma had told Ruby that she had done the bully chat line and had loved it. "You know, they do that at the school R, C, and K are going to."

"I know, but can you really see any of them helping others?" Emma asked with a chuckle, looking over at the table where two of the three sat. "I haven't seen Regina with them lately, and believe me, I watch out for her."

Ruby leaned on the bar after handing Emma her morning coffee. "Me neither. Maybe they finally had enough of her."

Emma looked at the clock. "We better get going."

"Shoot, you're right." Ruby said taking her apron off. She kissed her grandmother's cheek. "See you later, Granny."

Granny hugged her granddaughter and the blonde who was like a granddaughter to her. "You two have a great day." She held her hand on Emma's arm. "You're looking great, sweet girl."

Emma smiled, swallowing the lump in her throat. The way Granny treated her like her own granddaughter meant so much to her. "Thank you." She bit her lip and lowered her voice. "I'm sorry that I worried you."

"Hush, child." Granny said, waving away the apology. She cupped Emma's cheeks. "I'm just glad it didn't work, love. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Ruby cleared her throat, her voice soft. "We have to go, Granny. Don't make her cry before school."

Granny smiled softly and let Emma go. "I'm sorry. You go on to school, child."

Emma was able to wipe her face before the two stepped outside. Right away, Emma knew there was tension and she grit her teeth as Cruella and Kathryn started following them. "Aww poor motherless Emma getting comforted by an old waitress."

"Just ignore her." Emma said to Ruby, taking her hand. "They'll go away."

Ruby hated not saying anything, but she knew Emma was right. It would only make things worse if she said anything.

"Stop it." Regina said, joining the other two. She hadn't wanted to, but she saw what they were doing and a part of her felt bad. "Just leave them alone."

"Oh, but you should have seen it, Gina." Cruella said with a laugh. "Granny was cradling Emma's face in her hands like she was a baby. Honestly Emma, you should have just let those pills kill you."

"No kidding." Kathryn scoffed. "It's not like anyone would miss you."

Before Emma could say anything, Regina stopped them. "That's enough! How dare you talk to someone like that, even if it is Emma? Telling someone they should have succeeded in killing themselves when you don't even know she actually tried to do that. Honestly, you're terrible." Regina passed by them and put her hand on Emma's arm. "Don't listen to them."

Emma rolled her eyes and pulled her arm away. "They got it from you, Regina. They're only doing what you've done to me my whole life. Why are you being different now?"

Regina was honestly surprised, not only at Emma's words, but the obvious pain and anger on her face. Had she maybe been worse than she wanted to admit? Either way, she felt terrible as she saw Emma try to harden her features. "I'm sorry." She said quietly.

"What was that? You're sorry?" Emma asked, laughing and ignoring Ruby who was trying to pull her away. She pulled away from Ruby and stepped closer to Regina. "I wanted to die because of you." She said so only the brunette could hear her. "Because of you, I felt like I was nothing. Every single day, you made me feel like I was lower than low, dirtier than scum, worse than gum on your shoe. Why? Because my mom died giving birth to me? That's what you said, isn't it? My mom died because she saw me and was disappointed. How many days of my life did I hear that, Regina? And you know what? After a while, you start to believe it. I did. I believed my mom died because she hated me from birth." She tried blinking away her tears as she glared at the brunette in front of her. "You made me believe that. You with your perfect family and big house, you made me believe the world was better off without me. Thank goodness my dad didn't agree. Thank goodness my stepmother didn't agree. Thank goodness I had people who loved me more than I could ever love myself thanks to you. So, while I appreciate you telling your sidekicks to stop, you've already done the damage, Regina. There's literally nothing more they can say that would make me feel worse than you already have."

Regina was at a literal loss for words. The blonde before her was hurting more than she ever would have guessed and it was all her fault. "I…I'm so sorry, Emma." She said, though she knew it wasn't enough. "You never deserved it and you don't deserve it now. I know I can never earn your forgiveness, but I am sorry. I…I didn't know…gods that's so selfish, but I had no idea how badly I was hurting you." She hated that she had tears because she didn't deserve them like Emma did. She deserved to feel any pain or guilt she felt. She looked at her old friends. "Please, leave Emma and others alone. We don't know the hurt we're giving." She said before turning and heading to school as she wiped her eyes.

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

Emma watched them go and wiped at her own eyes, her anger melting and leaving her just…sadness. "Did I really just do that?"

"You did and I'm so fucking proud of you, Emma Swan!" Ruby said, a huge grin on her face. "Do you feel better?"

Emma shook her head. "I…I feel sick." She admitted, going to the nearest garbage can and emptying her stomach. "I just gave her more ammunition." Emma groaned as she took a water bottle from Ruby and rinsed out her mouth. "Ruby, I'm sorry but I'm going home. I feel so sick."

"Want me to take you there?"

"No, but thanks. I'll go to the station and talk to my dad." Emma bit her lip. "I hope he won't make me go in."

"I'll come with you."

Regina kept her pace quick as she left the scene and headed to school. She felt absolutely terrible and couldn't get Emma's eyes out of her mind. Once at school, she went into the bathroom and tried to collect herself. When she realized she couldn't, she made her way to the offices and knocked on Dr. Dracon's door.

"Regina? Honey, what's wrong?" The woman asked and brought Regina into the room, closing the door behind her.

"I didn't know who else to talk to." Regina said, sniffing. "I…I can't do the bullying hotline thing anymore. I'm a fraud."

Mal sat Regina down and then sat next to her. "Okay, tell me what's going on." She said softly.

"I…before coming to school here, I was a bully." Regina admitted, tears falling down her face. "I didn't realize how bad I was until today, when my victim stood up to me after I told my old friends to leave her alone." She put her head in her hands. "I mean, I knew I was being mean to Emma, I knew it…I just…I had no idea…"

Mal sensed the girl about to hyperventilate, so she rubbed her back soothingly. "Breathe, Regina. Just take some deep breaths."

"I can't!" Regina yelled as she stood. "I made her try to kill herself! I did that! Me! And now I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself? What is wrong with me?"

Mal let Regina get angry and pace. "Do you really feel sorry for yourself or on behalf of yourself? Is this really about how you feel or how you made Emma feel?"

Regina sat down heavily in the chair. "I…I made her feel like she had to kill herself. Because of me, she took a whole bottle of pills. How in the hell do I ever forgive myself for that?"

Mal once again rubbed Regina's back. "Can I be honest with you?" Regina nodded, leaning in towards the woman. "I think you already knew, to a point, that you had to make a change. Regina, you're not friends with the others anymore, you don't pick on people here, and you volunteered to help with the bully chat. I think you did that because you wanted to give back." She gave some time to let that sink in. "Regina, I'm not going to ever force you to do anything, but how did you feel the other day after your first chat?"

"Like maybe I was making a difference in a good way."

"Like you were helping?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to give that up?"

"No, but do you want a bully on your team?"

Mal let out a breath. "No, but I think you're a past bully, not a current one. I think you now know how severe you used to be and obviously you feel guilty for it. That's good, Regina." She looked at the student. "I honestly think that if you continue this program, it will help you feel better. I would also recommend us having weekly sessions because I can see how badly this is affecting you."

"Affecting me? I'm not the one who thought the world would be better if I ate a bottle of pills and ended it."

"No, you're not, but to anyone who has a heart and a conscience, the fact that you're being blamed for that, affects you. Do you think this Emma would ever be open to talking to you in a controlled environment…for example, here in my office?"

"I have no idea, but…I need to talk to her. I know I do, but what the hell do I say? 'I'm sorry I made you want to kill yourself' just sounds so…terrible."

"We can discuss it, Regina. Now, are you going to be okay the rest of the day or should I call your parents to come get you?"

Regina let out a small chuckle. "They're too busy. I'll be fine. Poor Emma has had to deal with this, so why should I get off easy?"

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

"Emma? You're going to be late for school." David said as Emma and Ruby came in. He then noticed Ruby was supporting Emma and instantly started to worry. "Ems Princess, what's wrong?"

Seeing her dad, hearing him call her Princess, broke Emma. She started crying right there in his office. "Oh, daddy. I'm sorry…I…"

Ruby handed her over to David. "We ran into some old enemies today. Emma stood up for herself to Regina, but she's not feeling well now. She got sick a few times on the way here, Mr. Swan, and I don't think she should go to school."

"Regina? What has that little brat done now?" David growled before holding his baby girl. "Shh, honey. Please don't cry." He had tears in his own eyes as he felt his daughter tremble against him.

"Actually, she told Cruella and Kathryn to stop and apologized to Emma, but Emma kinda…well, she didn't hold back. I don't blame her at all, but I think going from fine to angry to shock has kind of messed with her a bit."

"Okay. Thank you, Ruby. Emma, we're taking Ruby to school and then I'm taking you home. I'm making an appointment with Archie though, please don't fight me on that."

"I won't, dad. I just…I feel so sick." Emma said, hugging her father. "I was so strong for so many years and I just…I let it all out today. I let her know what she did to me. I…I let her see how weak I am."

David wrapped both his arms around his daughter. "You are not weak, Emma Swan. You are the strongest person I know. You have dealt with these girls for nine years and you still have the kindest heart of anyone I know."

"He's right, Emma. You aren't weak at all." Ruby said, feeling terrible for her friend. "Take a day off, talk to Archie, go on that bully chat line thing and you'll feel so much better tomorrow."

After taking Ruby to school and calling the school to excuse Emma, David kept glancing her way as he headed to take her home. He wanted a day off, but he had too many meetings to justify doing that. However, he was terrified for what Emma would do alone at home. Emma seemed to sense this, and she sighed as she closed her eyes. "I'm just going to sleep dad. I promise I won't do anything stupid."

"Baby, feeling like you're at your lowest and doing something about it isn't stupid; it's desperate and it's okay to feel that way. I just…promise me you'll call me if you start feeling that way, okay?"

"I promise, daddy. I'm sorry about all this."

"It's okay. I'm proud of you for standing up to her." He said, reaching over and taking her hand. "I know you're upset now, but I really think you'll feel good about it later."

"I hope so." Emma said, rubbing her head with her other hand. "I'm sorry I'm being so dramatic. I just really feel emotionally exhausted."

"You're not being dramatic, Emma. I just…I wish I could stay home with you."

There was a tap on his truck window, which made both of them jump. He smiled as he rolled it down. "Mary, what are you doing here?"

Mary leaned on the window. "I heard a bit of what happened and decided to call a sub in. I need a day to be with my daughter."

Emma felt more tears in her eyes as she got out of the truck and went to hug her stepmother. "I thought I'd be okay on my own, but I'm glad you're going to be here."

Mary smiled softly and wrapped her arms around Emma. "Let's go cuddle for a bit before you see Archie."

"I have to see if he has an opening." Emma stated with a sigh.

"He does at ten." Mary said and kissed David's cheek. "You go on, we'll be just fine."

Emma cuddled with Mary on the couch as they turned on the T.V. for background noise. "Did Ruby tell you everything?"

"Just that the two were picking on you, Regina told them to stop, you, understandably, let her have it, you then got sick. Emma, I'm proud of you. I know you probably think you just gave her ammunition, and I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I think you opened her eyes. Ruby said she looked shocked and a little sick herself."

"I don't feel sorry for her." Emma said, crossing her arms. "She's made my life hell."

Mary put her arm around Emma. "I'm not saying you should feel sorry for her, Emma. I'm not saying anything like that. All I'm saying is…maybe you don't have to worry about what you said to her."

"Maybe." Emma sighed and cuddled up with Mary. "I wish I could talk to AnEar4u on the chat site. They don't start until later though."

"Will you talk to them?"

"Yes. It's Thursday, so they should be there."

"I'm glad you are willing to do that. Emma, I'm here too."

"I know that. I love and appreciate you so much, mom." Emma bit her lip and looked up at Mary, tears in her eyes. "Did my mom die because she didn't want me?"

Mary's heart broke and she knew this was a result of the bullying. "No, my love." Mary assured her. "She died because she had a hemorrhage. She loved you, Emma. She made sure she got to hold you and told your dad to make sure you always know how much you're loved."

"So, she didn't see me and decide death was better?"

Mary held Emma close and then backed up enough to look at her. "My darling girl, no. She saw you and loved you so much. You still have that letter, right?"

"Yes, but she wrote that before I was born."

"But she meant every word." Mary sighed and stroked Emma's hair. "I wish I had the magic to just fix this for you."

Emma snuggled in with Mary. "You do fix it, Mom. You do."

The blonde did feel a little better after seeing Archie but couldn't wait to talk to AnEar4U later in the day. She worked on the homework Mary had gotten for her and then took a nap. Finally, it was 3.30 and she felt she could go online.

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

Regina made it through school and then went to the conference room where the group worked. She was early, but she wanted to talk to her sister. Zelena came over and sat next to her. "What's up?"

"Oh, Zee, I've done terrible things." Regina explained everything to her sister, being as honest as she could be.

"Regina…that's so not okay, but what is okay is that you get it now. Why though? Why would you pick on a girl who lost her mother?"

Regina looked down. "I…I was jealous."

"Jealous?"

Regina nodded. "Her dad loves her so much. I'd hear her talking to Ruby about these fun things they did together, the things he would do for her, and I was so jealous."

"I get being jealous, though I don't like that you were a bully." Zelena bit her lip. "Was it just jealousy?"

Regina blushed a little and shrugged. "I don't know."

Zelena rolled her eyes. "You like her but had no idea how to feel about it or tell her, right?"

"It doesn't matter, Zee. I had no idea the damage I was doing. I need to make it up to her."

"You need to give her space first. Gina, I'm proud of you for seeing your mistakes, but give her space. Come help some others out and maybe send her an email or something this weekend to see if she even wants to discuss this."

"I don't feel right because I've been a bully."

"Yes, and now you're helping. Regina don't stop helping just because you just realized what you've done in the past. You have to learn how to keep going, learn how to grow from this."

Regina nodded and took a few deep breaths. "Will you sit by me?"

Zelena smiled and hugged her sister. "Yes, I will."

Regina sat and logged in and though she was still upset, she smiled when she saw PickedOnPrincess waiting for her.

A: Hey Princess. I'm sorry I'm a little late.

P: It's okay. I'm just glad you're here. How are you?

A: I think I'm supposed to ask you that, but I'm okay. How are you?

P: Can't I ask you questions?

A: Yes, I was joking.

P: Okay, sorry I just don't know the rules.

A: It's completely fine, Princess. How are you?

Emma sat and bit her lip for a bit, not sure how to answer that.

P: I'm…honestly, I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to hurt myself, so you don't have to worry about that, I'm just…gods I don't even know.

A: It's okay to not know how you are. Can I ask what happened and then maybe we can figure out how you feel?

P: I um…I confronted my bully today. I didn't plan on it, I didn't even know I'd see her, but I did, and I told her too much.

Regina swallowed, her hand grabbing Zelena's arm. "I think it's Emma." She whispered, pointing to the screen. "What do I do?"

P. Are you still there?

"Answer her." Zelena encouraged. "Answer her as you would if you didn't know. We don't know it's her."

A: Sorry, Yes, I'm here. What happened?

P. Well, her two friends were picking on me again about how my mom died when I was born. Like I can help that. Anyway, she told them to stop, and I lost it. I let her know just how badly she's hurt me. I let her know I almost killed myself because of her. I gave her so much ammunition.

Regina had tears in her eyes, knowing it was Emma and she was talking about her.

A: I'm proud of you. I understand that you're scared, but you should be proud. You stood up to her, opened her eyes.

P: You think she really didn't know?

A: I don't know, you were there, what do you think?

P: I…surprisingly I don't think she knew. She seemed shocked, but that just makes me more upset. For 9 years she picked and picked and picked at me and now she's acting like she had no idea? It makes no sense.

Regina shook her head and pushed the laptop to Zelena. "I can't do this." Before she could leave the room, Mal stopped her.

"Hang on. Just hang on, Regina." Mal then went to the laptop. "Regina, go take a break but please come back."

Regina nodded and headed to the restroom while Mal got on the computer.

P: Does it make sense to you?

P: Hello?

P: Have I upset you? Please don't tell me I upset you.

P: I guess I'll go.

A: No, please don't know. I'm sorry, this is MamaM, AnEar4U wasn't feeling good and had to run off. I'm so sorry and so is she. PickedOnPrincess, please don't get mad, but I read the conversation and I have to tell you, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of you for sticking up to your bully.

P: Oh. Hi. So I didn't upset her?

A: Not at all. Hang on, I'm going to change to my account. You just sit tight.

Mal placed Emma's chat under her name and logged in.

MamaM: Thank you for staying. PickedOnPrincess, I want you to know that you are in a safe place here. I oversee this branch and I promise you that you are safe.

P: Okay…that seems like a weird thing to assure someone.

M: I just know that changing supporters can sometimes make people feel not safe.

P: Does she not want to talk to me anymore? If so, I'm just going to go.

M: No! Emma, that's not the case at all. She's just not feeling well.

P: How…how did you know my name? I thought this was anonymous. I never told anyone my name.

"Fuck." Mal said, sighing. "Regina, I messed up. I have to tell her."

"It's fine. She deserves to know. I just feel terrible because I want her to get better, not worse." Regina bit her lip. "Can I maybe tell her?"

"I think it's best if I do. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Regina said and bit her lip. "I…I'd still like to talk to her."

"It's all up to her."

M: I believe in honesty, Emma, so I'm going to be completely honest with you. AnEar4U is someone you know. She didn't know it was you until today. She still wants to talk to you, but I would understand if you don't want that and if you'd rather be routed to another center in the future. Either way, please don't give this up. I think this is good for you.

Emma sat back, her heart pounding. "Mom! Mom, I need you."

Mary came in, concern on her face. "What is it, sweetie?"

Emma let Mary read the conversation and then looked at her, tears in her eyes. "What if it's Regina?"

"If it is, you can be routed somewhere else. This Mama person is right; this is good for you."

"But I trust her. I like talking to AnEar4U. I…I don't know what to do."

"First, you have to find out who it is."

Emma bit her lip and started typing – much to Mal's relief.

P: Who is it?

M: It's Regina. Emma, it's not the Regina you remember though. I know it's hard to believe, but she told me all about what happened today, and she is not the same person she was before. She feels terrible and…I'm not saying what she did was okay, but you don't have to worry about any of this getting out in the public.

P: I have to go.

M: Wait, Emma please don't let this end your sessions. You can talk to someone else.

P: I need to think about all of this. I just found out that I've been confiding in my bully about my bully; my bully who was so awful to me that I tried killing myself. I don't even know what to think right now.

M: I understand that completely, Emma. I really do. Look, I'm going to give you my personal email address and you contact me when you've decided if you want a different center. Emma, please do not give up on this.

P: Fine. I'll think about it.

Emma signed off and looked at her mother. "What do I do? I hate this, but I really liked talking to her."

"Emma, print off that conversation. Read it over tonight, read it over on Friday, decide on Saturday what you want to do. But Emma, read what Mal told you. I know Mal and I know she doesn't lie. You know Regina, you know if she was real today or not. Just…think about it."

Emma gave a nod. "Okay. Thanks, mom."

Regina sat back and sighed, cracking her neck. "I should go see her."

"No, you should give her time." Zelena said, Mal nodding. "Regina, you've been, at least in her eyes, her enemy for 9 years; do you really think she'll want you banging on her door?"

"No but I don't want her to hurt herself or worse!" Regina admitted, tears in her eyes. "She already did it once because of me, what if she does it again all because I know who she is? Maybe I should talk to her dad?"

Mal sighed and put her hand on Regina's arm. "I know her stepmom. I'll call her." She then went to her office leaving Regina with Zelena.

"Regina, its going to be okay."

"I hope you're right. Emma deserves so much better."