I know I previously said this would only be a couple chapters, but after reading what I have so far, I think it'll be a bit longer only because it needs to be realistic and not just a fast thing. Thank you so much for all the comments/reviews on this.

*TW for talk of past suicide attempts

Chapter 3

"Ruby, I don't know what to do." Emma sighed as she talked to her best friend on the phone. "Mal thinks I need to keep chatting with someone else, but I just don't know anymore. I don't want to worry about who I'm talking to."

"And you liked Regina before you knew it was her." Ruby stated, taking a break at work. "Emma, maybe Mal was right about that too. I mean, she seemed genuinely upset today. Maybe…maybe she really didn't know."

Emma rolled her eyes. "How could she not know, Ruby? Why else would she say those things? She had to know she was being mean."

"Well yes, but she may not have known just how badly it affected you. Hey, I'm on your side, Emma, I just…she seemed so different today."

Emma sighed. "I agree with you, but Ruby, nine years of bullying doesn't just end because she feels bad." She then groaned. "My stomach hurts so bad. I'm so scared that everything I said to her is going to be told to her evil friends and then all over town."

Ruby sighed, knowing where her friend was coming from, but not knowing how to help. She then saw Zelena come in followed by a very upset looking Regina. "I'm really sorry but I have to go. I'll call you after my shift."

"Okay, thanks for letting me vent."

"Any time." Ruby said and hung up her phone. She then grabbed a pad and went to the booth with the Mills' sisters. "Do you know what you want?"

Zelena raised a brow at the rudeness, but Regina gave her a look to not say anything. She put the menu down and looked at Ruby. "Emma called you, didn't she?"

"You think I'm only being rude on her behalf? Regina, you've been a total bitch to both of us since kindergarten. The things you've said to both of us have been entirely not okay. If this 'I had no idea, I'm not like that anymore, I really want to help' attitude is real, you have to know that neither she nor I are just gonna say 'okay cool, let's be friends now." She shook her head. "You've caused too much pain, Regina, especially to Emma."

"To you too." Regina admitted quietly as she blinked tears away and looked down at the table. "I'm not…I had no idea my words hurt you both so badly. There's no excuse, there's no taking it back and no matter how many times I say I'm sorry, I know it doesn't take the pain away."

Ruby sighed and looked around before sitting next to Regina. "So why? Regina, Emma may kill me, but I do believe you are sorry, and you do feel bad, but I still don't get why you picked on her so badly."

Zelena, not really knowing Ruby that well, felt her defenses rise. "Why are you asking?"

Ruby looked at her. "I'm only asking to try and understand. If I knew, I could talk to Emma and maybe we can get this whole thing resolved. This has been really hard for her. Yes, you guys picked on me, but I always knew it was only because I was friends with Emma. She has no idea why you picked on her and to be honest, neither do I. She never once did anything."

"She didn't." Regina said softly as she looked at Zelena. "It's okay, Zee. Thank you for trying to protect me, but I understand why Ruby is asking." She looked back at Ruby. "I…gods I don't even remember. I remember the first day kindergarten and my nanny dropped me and Zelena off without so much as a goodbye and I was terrified. I looked over and saw this little blonde girl trying to pull away from her father who didn't want to stop hugging her. I was instantly jealous, and the seed was planted. It wasn't her fault; none of this was her fault. I wanted what she had and even when I found out her mom was dead, I was still jealous because she still had this father who doted on her, and she was the center of his world." Regina wiped her face on a napkin. "As we got older, it was just an outlet for me. That sounds so selfish, and it is, but that's what it was. I figured Emma had this amazing father and now stepmother and there was no way that what I was saying would bring her down because she had them."

"Regina, I'm sorry if this is harsh, but you still have her believing her mother picked death over her; that her mother died because she was so disappointed in Emma at birth. Yes, her dad and stepmom are great, but she's questioning this so often, she's scared to say it out loud anymore." She cleared her throat. "She tried to kill herself because of feeling like her mother hated her so much she picked death over her."

"I know that now." Regina said, almost whining. "I can't take it back, but I am so sorry. What I did was terrible, and I know that now and I wish I'd known it so long ago." She bit her lip. "I want to talk to her, but I don't know where to start."

Ruby chewed on her lip. "Let me talk to her first. I think she wants to talk to you, but she's…well this whole chatline thing kinda messed her up."

"I had no idea it was her."

"I know that, and she knows that. Regina, do you at least understand why she'd need time?"

"Yes. Yes, I fully understand. I just feel so terrible."

Ruby gave Zelena a look who gave a look back and they both grinned without Regina seeing. "I'll talk to her. Give me your number and I'll let you know what she says."

SQSQSSQSQ

"She is jealous of me?" Emma asked, surprised by what her friend was saying. It was now Friday night and the two were spending it in Emma's room. "That makes no sense. She has everything."

"Everything except loving parents from the sounds of it. Her sister Zelena and I chatted quite a bit last night after they left, and they both have been emotionally neglected. Look, I'm not giving her an excuse or an out, but you always wanted to know why she picked on you."

Emma sighed and rolled over to her stomach. "I feel like there should be more than that though. Like…other kids have loving parents and she didn't pick on them."

Ruby chewed her lip, her conversation with Zelena from the night before going through her head. "What other reason?"

Emma narrowed her eyes. "You know something and you're not telling me. What? What is it? What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything, Emma." Ruby sighed. "She…she told her sister that when she was around 12, she realized she had a huge crush on you and had no idea how to deal with it or what to do."

"So, she made my life hell? Ruby, that makes no sense. I mean, it's not like she pulled my hair and ran away giggling, she relentlessly picked on me." Emma stored those thoughts away for now, not able to process them.

"I can't give you the answers you want, Emma, only Regina can."

"How do I do that? I can't meet with her one on one and apparently her parents most likely wouldn't join, so I can't ask mine. Mal knows her and would be on her side."

"I don't think that's true, but if that's how you feel, why not talk to Archie about mediating?"

"Then she'll think he's on my side…and if he isn't, I'll be upset." Emma said, not able to stop the bit of a chuckle. "Why do I have to decide this?"

"You don't, Emma." Mary Margaret said as she came in. "I'm sorry, I was just coming up here to tell you two that the pizza is here and heard part of what you were saying. Emma, you don't have to talk to her; you don't have to do anything, but it sounds like you want to. It sounds like you want answers and maybe even closure. I know Mal from years back and I know she would never 'pick sides'. I think she'd be perfect for mediating with you two if that's something you really want to do. Only you can decide what you think is best for you." She bit her lip. "And the crush thing actually makes sense. I'm not condoning or excusing, but if she did have a crush on you, she was probably extremely confused about it and handled it completely wrong. Again, there's no excuse for how she's made you feel so please don't think I'm defending her."

"I know you're not." Emma sighed. "I just can't even process THAT right now. I've gone for so long thinking she hates me that I just can't fathom her having a crush on me."

"I understand." Mary said softly. "Come eat and get your mind off it for now."

That night after Ruby left, Emma lay in her bed unable to stop thinking about Regina. After tossing and turning for a bit, she got up and went to her computer. She knew the chat line was twenty-four hours and that Regina shouldn't be there, but she was hoping Mal was. She logged in and felt disappointment when it said MamaM wasn't online. Then she remembered the woman had given her personal email address to Emma, so she opened her email instead.

MamaM,

I'm not sure how to start this or even for sure what to say. I've been thinking a lot about what happened on Thursday with Regina and I…I was wondering something. If she's willing and you're willing, would you mediate something between us? This is really hard for me, but I think it could also be healing in the end. If you don't want to or she doesn't want to, I understand, I just didn't know who else to reach out to.

Thank you,

Emma (PickedOnPrincess)

Emma hit send and then re-read the email, letting out a breath. Just as she was going to turn off her computer, a window from the chat line popped up. "MamaM is requesting to chat with you." She clicked on it and chewed her lip.

P: I'm sorry if I bothered you. I just wanted to send the email before I chickened out.

M: No apologizing, Emma. I gave you my email address for a reason. I'm so glad you're okay as I've been a bit worried about you. You've gone through so much and that can be hard to deal with. Please don't get mad, but I did reach out to your stepmother to make sure you were okay.

P: It's okay. Mom told me and I think it's really nice that you care that much. This has been a really emotional couple of days, but I'm doing my best to be okay.

M: Emma, it's okay if you're not okay as long as you're talking to people about it and not letting it fester. Judging by the time, however, I'd say you've been thinking about this tonight.

P: Yeah I have and I have talked to my mom about it. I just…I have no idea why, but I feel the need to talk to Regina. I need answers, you know? I need to know why, why me, why say the things she said.

M: What if she can't give you the answers you want? What if her answers aren't what you want to hear?

P: At least I will know I tried. Is it wrong for me to want to know?

M: It's not wrong at all, Emma. I just want you to ready yourself for any situation. Are you sure you'll feel comfortable with me mediating this?

P: I think so. Mom has said great things about you. The only thing I worry about is if you'd take her side just because you know her.

M: I can understand your concern but please know, the point of mediating is to be the one that's neutral. I'll only be there to make sure discussions stay on point and don't get out of hand. I'm not there to sway anyone or to take sides.

P: That's what my mom said. Do you think she'll want to do this?

M: Very much so. Emma, when she found out she had been talking to you, her sister and I had to practically hold her back from going to see you right then. I know this is hard to believe, I know it's even scary, but she really wants to make sure you're okay and that you're not going to go back to that dark place. She's afraid she's made you want to end things again. I'm not asking you to forgive her or feel sorry for her, I just want you to know she truly does care.

Emma read that and pondered it for a moment.

P: I honestly don't know what to think. I will tell you that I'm not in that dark place, though I am filled with anxiety over her knowing about it. Every other time she's known something about me, she's used it against me. I want to…I mean, I didn't want to, but since I found out she was the one I had talked to, had trusted, I want to talk to her again. I'm just…scared.

M: That's completely understandable and completely okay in this situation. You reached out to me about this, and if this is really what you want, I will talk to Regina tomorrow and maybe Sunday we can all get together. We can do it here in my office or wherever you feel comfortable though I'd prefer it not be at your house only because that would be like asking you to go to her house.

P: I understand. I can come to your office, but can my mom or dad be with. Not in the room while we talk, but just in case I need them? They won't give her a hard time, I'll make sure of it.

M: Yes, that's completely fine. I'll email you tomorrow after I talk to her. In the meantime, is there anything else you want to talk about?

Emma yawned and checked the time before replying.

P: thank you and no, I'm finally feeling like I can sleep.

M: Okay Emma. Get some rest and reach out to me any time.

P: Thanks. Goodnight.

Emma turned her computer off and crawled back into bed. Part of her was okay with this happening, while part of her was terrified of what was to come next. Sunday would come both quickly and not quickly enough.