Even though Regina felt like a fraud, she decided to go in on Saturday to work with the helpline. Usually she did just Sundays, but her parents were out of town, so she had nothing else to do. When she came in, she saw Mal and went to her as she was waived over.
"Good morning, Regina." Mal said with a smile. "I wasn't expecting you."
"I was bored, so I thought I'd see if you needed any extra help."
"That would be great, but I have something to talk to you about first. Come sit; you're not in trouble." Once Regina sat, Mal folded her hands. "I got a late-night chat from Picked on Princess last night and she was wondering if you'd be interested in talking to her with me mediating."
Regina was surprised but wouldn't pass up this chance. "Yes. Yes, I want to talk to her."
"You understand that she's looking for answers that may be hard if not impossible to give her, right?"
Regina looked at her hands on the table. "They're not impossible to give; just hard if I want to be honest, which I do. I'll have to admit things that…well that put me in a vulnerable place, but she deserves it after all I've done."
Mal put her hand over Regina's. "Regina, you have every right to only answer what you want to answer. Just because you were the bully, doesn't mean you have to put yourself in a place you don't want to be. What time works best for you?"
"Whatever works best for her, Mal. I want whatever works best for her."
That morning, Regina did a couple chats and though Emma was on her mind, she was able to relax a bit and enjoy what she was doing. "Regina? I talked to Emma, and she will be here around ten tomorrow morning. Her stepmother is coming with but won't be in with us while we talk."
"That's fine. Thank you so much, Mal. I really appreciate you helping me with this. It'll be so good for Emma."
"I hope it'll be good for both of you."
That evening, Emma sat in the living room, her dad on one side and her stepmother on the other. "I'm nervous."
"You don't have to do it, Emma." David said. "I don't get why you're even giving that monster a chance after what she did to you."
Emma sighed, knowing her dad had every right to be upset. "I did it, dad." She said quietly. "I'm the one who took the pills, I'm the one who…who didn't reach out when I should have."
"Because she made you feel like nothing!" David exclaimed, unable to hold back. "I'm sorry Emma, but I'm not sure I'm okay with you going to see her tomorrow. I almost lost you." He looked at Emma with tears in his eyes. "If I'd have lost you, Emma…I don't know what I would have done."
Emma cuddled in with her father, tears falling from her own eyes. "I'm so sorry, daddy. I swear I won't do that again."
"I know, baby, but I'm not blaming you; I blame her." He sighed, holding Emma in his arms. "I failed to see what I should have seen and a part of me can't help but wonder if I let you talk to her and it doesn't work out, that I failed again by letting you go."
"Daddy, you didn't fail." Emma said, feeling so much guilt. "It was my fault; I made the choice I made and I'm so sorry. But dad, please let me do this. I need to do this. I can't explain why, I just need to."
"David?" Mary said softly. "I'll be there. Emma won't be alone, and she will have me to talk to as soon as she's done and she can leave whenever she wants. I know you blame yourself, but you have to let her do this."
David sighed and looked at his daughter. "Please just promise me that if you're feeling low after, you talk to us. Or at least come and cuddle, because we're here, Emma."
"I know daddy and I promise."
David sighed and hugged Emma tightly. "I love you, Princess. I love you so much and I'm sorry if bringing this up hurt you."
Emma hugged him back, sniffing. "I love you too, daddy and I'm sorry I ever did what I did."
"Okay, I think that's enough apologizing for things we don't need to apologize for." Mary said, feeling for both of them, but knowing it was time to move on.
The next morning, Regina was pacing as she waited for it to be time to leave. She saw her sister and was confused. "Why are you awake?"
"I'm coming with you. I won't go in the room, but she's going to have Mary, so I'm coming with you."
Regina smiled softly. "Thank you. Even if mom and dad were here, I wouldn't ask them."
"I know we haven't always been close, but Regina, I'm here for you, okay?"
Regina nodded and got her jacket on. "I really do appreciate it."
Emma sat back in Mary's car and took some deep breaths. Mary put her hand on Emma's knee. "Emma, you can change your mind at any time."
"I know. I want to do this, I'm just nervous." Emma stopped when she saw Regina and Zelena get off the bus at the bus stop. She chewed her lip. "She looks nervous too."
"Mmm." Mary agreed. "She looks terrified. Emma, I think that's a good sign that she's going to be honest." She looked at her stepdaughter. "Emma, what you do after this meeting is up to you. If you never want to talk to her again, that's your choice. If you end up wanting to be friends, that's your choice as well."
"I just want to get through the next hour." Emma said, scooting down a bit in her seat so the sisters wouldn't see her. She put her hand out to Mary. "Wait until they're inside." She said, stopping her from getting out of the car. They watched, and once they were in, Emma let go of Mary's arm. "I think I'm ready."
"Okay, sweetheart. Remember, you can leave at any time."
"I know." Emma said as she got out. "Do you know where we're going?"
"Yep." Mary said, taking Emma's hand. Once in the office, Mary smiled. "Mal. It's so good to see you."
The woman smiled and hugged Mary. "Mary, it's been a while." She smiled at the blonde. "You must be Emma. I know we've not met, but can I hug you?"
Emma smiled and gave a nod. "Sure."
They hugged and Mal looked at her. "I'm glad you're here, Emma. I hope today can help you and I'll be with you every step of the way."
Emma nodded, looking around. "Is she here?" She knew she was but had to ask.
"She's in my private office. Mary, will you be okay out here while we talk?"
"Yes, that's my plan. I was sort of hoping her parents would be here."
Mal sadly shook her head. "They're out of town, but her sister is here."
Mary looked at Emma and Emma shrugged. "I don't know her that well."
"So, she didn't bully you as well?"
"No. Only Regina, Kathryn, and Cruella."
"Okay honey. Are you ready?" Mary asked, stroking Emma's cheek.
Emma nodded. "I think so."
"Come on, sweetheart." Mal said, leading her to the office. "Mary, help yourself to anything; there's vending machines just down the hall."
"Thank you. For everything."
Mary watched Mal and Emma go in the office as a red-head came out. "Hi."
"Hello. Are you Emma's mom?"
"Technically, I'm her stepmother, but yes, I'm her mom."
"I'm Zelena, Regina's sister." She said, sitting down. "I had no idea this was happening, or I'd have made Regina stop a long time ago. I'm so sorry. I know it's not my job to defend my sister, but please know, our lives haven't been the easiest. I know that's no excuse, but it's true."
"You have nothing to apologize to me for, Zelena." She assured the teen. "But I do appreciate it."
"You see, it's just that our parents, well they're not the best. People think we have everything because of who our parents are, but Regina and I would prefer living in a small apartment if it meant we had our parents' attention and love. I'm not trying to get you to feel sorry for us, I just…Regina's not a bad person."
Mary could see tears in the teen's eyes, so she reached over and touched her hand. "I never thought she was, Zelena. Do I like what she's been doing and saying to Emma? No. I really don't, but I have never thought she was a bad person. I'm a firm believer that those who bully others have things going on in their lives and Regina's still a child, still maturing and growing. I just…I hope with my whole heart that she will stop bullying Emma. See, Emma's been through a lot as well and the things Regina has made her think about herself has really brought her down."
"I know that." Zelena said with a sigh. "I hate what she's done, Mary Margaret, I honestly do, but I love her."
"I'm glad you do because to me, it sounds like she needs someone who loves her. Zelena, I'm not a counselor, but if you want to talk about anything, I'm a good listener."
"Thank you. I talk to Mal once a week and told Regina she should as well. I know a lot of kids our age think they'd love it if their parents left them alone and didn't push rules and all that, but I'd much rather have strict parents who care than ones who don't."
Emma came in the office and averted her eyes when she saw Regina. She sat down and tried to keep her leg from shaking.
Regina locked her eyes on Emma and hated the pain she could already see in her face. "Hi, Emma. I appreciate you taking the time to do this. I know I don't deserve it."
Emma gave a small smile. "Thank you for agreeing." She sighed. "Regina, I don't want this whole time being about beating you up. I just…I want answers."
Regina gave a nod and licked her lips as Mal sat down. "Okay, let's discuss just a few rules first." Mal said. "First, this is a no judgment zone. This is a safe place to say whatever you're thinking or feeling. Also, this isn't meant as a punishment, Regina and Emma understands that. Let's all try to just be open and honest here. If it goes too long, say over two hours, I think we will pin it and meet again later, if that's okay. I just don't feel that more than two hours is healthy at one time."
Both girls nodded and Emma felt her heart pound when Mal suggested she ask Regina one of her questions. She racked her brain, trying to think of the best one and the best way to ask it. However, when she looked into those brown eyes that used to carry so much hate, she could only ask one thing. "Why? Why did you pick me and why didn't you stop?"
Regina sighed, looking at her folded hands. "I've been thinking a lot about that and honestly, Emma, I don't think any of my answers will be good enough because…there was no good reason." She sighed and looked at the blonde. "Jealousy was a big one. My first day of kindergarten, I was dropped off by my nanny, who didn't even walk me in and I saw your dad hugging you and kissing you and crying when you went in and I know I was only five, but I was so jealous. Then, you were so kind and so caring, and everyone loved you and I got more jealous. I know it should have ended way back then, but I just…" She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, tears forming. "You were my punching bag, Emma. You were the one who I could take my anger out on and part of me justified that because I knew you had an amazing father who loved you and who would make you feel better."
Emma listened and swallowed, looking down. "I believe you, but it seems…I don't know, like okay I'd get that for a year or so, but kindergarten through eighth grade? And it wasn't just picking on me, Regina, it was telling me that my mother died because I disappointed her as a baby. Do you know how that messes with someone? The names, I could handle, the little snarky comments, I can take it, even pulling my hair, shoving me, pushing me out of your way, I could take that, but saying that crap about me and my mom? Regina that hurt! Then because you said it, the other two did and wouldn't let up. It was all because you were jealous?"
"Regina, may I cut in?" Mal asked and when Regina nodded, she looked at Emma. "I think, and she can tell me if I'm wrong, but I think it started as jealousy, from what she's saying, but continued because she found it made her feel better. I'm not, and neither is she excusing it, but those were the reasons."
Emma nodded, looking at the table between them. Regina bit at her lip. "Emma? There's another reason. I didn't want to tell you this, but I need to be honest." Her heart was racing. "When I was around 13, I realized I was different. I didn't crush on Jacob Miller or Dustin Young like all the other girls did; I…I crushed on you. You've always been so strong, so beautiful, and even on my worst days with you, you were kind to others. I made the mistake of telling my mother and she smacked me, told me I was dirty, and really hasn't talked to me since. I know it's wrong, but I blamed you. If you weren't so fucking attractive to me, I wouldn't be dirty or anything like that to my mother."
"That's when things got worse." Emma said quietly. "I'm so sorry your mother did that to you."
Regina chuckled. "See? I tormented you for years and you're sorry for how my mom treated me? I swear, you're too good to be true. I wish I could be more like you, Emma." She sighed. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but Emma, I'm so, so sorry. I hate that it took me so long to realize how horrible I've been. I hate that…" Regina blinked tears. "I hate that I was the reason you almost died. I hate myself, Emma, there's no way anyone could hate me more than I do. I'm so sorry." Regina said, finally letting her sobs out.
Emma felt horrible, though she knew this wasn't her fault; she hated seeing anyone in pain. She moved over by Regina and put her arm around her shoulders. "I don't hate you." She said softly. "I hate what you did, I hate what you've said, I hate how you've treated me, but I don't hate you. Regina, this isn't easy for me, but I want to forgive you. I want…I want us to not be enemies. I…I even kind of want us to be friends, if you think we can be. It'll take time, I'm not saying we can leave here, go out for lunch and a movie and be best friends, but I'd like to start by not being enemies." She lifted Regina's chin. "You didn't deserve what your mother did to you. You are not dirty or wrong, Regina, and no matter what, you don't deserve to be treated like that. I don't like seeing you hurting, no matter what."
Mal smiled as she sat back, watching. Regina sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "Emma, I don't deserve to be your friend, but I'm going to do my best so that one day I will deserve it. I've already talked to Kathryn and Cruella and though we're not really friends anymore, they swore to me they'd stop bullying you. They may ignore you but…"
"But that's better than being bullied. Thank you, Regina. I really do appreciate that." Emma handed Regina a tissue. "I had more questions, but I think we're okay to end this here. I believe that you're sorry, I believe you're being honest, and I appreciate it." She bit her lip. "I um…I have to ask though. Do you still have a crush on me?"
Regina blushed a deep red and nodded. "But I promise I'm not going to hit on you or make you uncomfortable. I swear it."
"I believe you, and don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I just…Regina I don't know if I'm attracted to girls. I haven't really found myself attracted to anyone, so I'm thinking I'm what they call 'pansexual' or 'demisexual' in that I will fall for a person, not a gender. I'm just saying this because I can't promise I'll ever feel for you how you feel for me."
Regina couldn't stop her chuckle. "Emma, it's okay. I can't see how you'd ever have feelings for me. I'll get over mine, and I'll start handling it the right way." She looked at the blonde. "Will your parents try stopping you from seeing if we can be friends after all I've done?"
"My mom won't. My dad…well he…I think he needed answers like I did. Would you be upset if I told him all of this? I think once he hears, he won't be so scared of us being friends. Regina, he's only scared because of what I did."
"What you did because of what I said. I get it and if he doesn't want me to be around you, I can respect that. Yes, you can tell him, but I'd be willing to sit with him sometime too if that helps."
"We can figure that out, Regina. I just…I'm not trying to be mean, but you understand that it's not going to be an instant friendship, right?"
"Right, of course. I'm sorry, I just…Emma I ruined so much for you that I want to make up for."
Before Mal could say anything, Emma took Regina's hands. "I ruined so much for me, Regina. By doing this today, being honest, answering questions, you're already making up for the past." Emma bit her lip. "Maybe we can start by chatting online and see where that goes."
"I think this is a great start." Mal stated. "You've both been open and honest, but I think Emma is right. It's not a quick instant friendship and it shouldn't be. Trust needs to be earned and Regina, you can't do that overnight. Do you both feel good about ending this here today? We can meet again next Sunday if you want."
"I'm fine with ending it here. I actually got everything I wanted out of it. Thank you for setting this up." Emma stated. "I guess I don't know what further sessions would do because I don't want every Sunday to be the day Regina comes in here and beats herself up. Part of moving on is putting the past in the past, right?"
"Mal, I was wondering if I could come see you like Zelena does?"
"Emma, yes. Part of moving on is putting the past in the past, but it's also making sure you're okay with it. That you're okay with putting it behind you. You're seeing someone, right?"
"Yes. He helps with the PTSD, but I did the chatline because I just feel it would be helpful to talk to peers."
"I think that's great, but I'm always here if you want to set things up with me. Regina, yes. How about we do an hour every Sunday?"
"Yes, thank you." Regina stated.
"Can I maybe try the chatline again and go from there?" Emma asked.
"Yes, of course. I don't recommend you and Regina talk that way, but please utilize the chatline."
They talked a bit more before wrapping it up. Emma came out and hugged her mom. "Thanks for bringing me. It was really helpful."
"I'm so glad it was, Emma, but you don't have to thank me. I've had a pretty good time talking to Zelena." She smiled at the redhead.
Regina came out and kept her eyes down. "Hi Mrs. Nolan." She said softly. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done."
Mary could tell the girl was sorry, so she went and hugged her. "I forgive you, Regina as I'm sure Emma has. Let's move on, okay?"
Regina smiled gratefully. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."
As they drove home, Emma couldn't help but smile. Maybe, just maybe, things would get better from here on out.
