"Viktor, je ne peux pas dormir." (Viktor, I can't sleep.)
It was very early on a June morning when Von Kaiser found himself staring at the ceiling. Confused, he turned over and looked at his husband. "Was ist los?" (What's wrong?)
"Je me réveille une heure en avance, et je ne peux pas retourner dormir." (I woke up an hour ago, and I can't go back to sleep.)
Von Kaiser sat up and rubbed his eyes. The clock read 5:49 am. He shrugged; it was at least a semi-reasonable hour to be up. "Komm, Joseph, wir gehen für ein frühes Frühstück nach unten." (Come on, Joseph, we'll go downstairs and have an early breakfast.)
Down in the kitchen with the stove light on, Joe, Von Kaiser, and Katrina were sitting at the table, with a third of an entire Frankel's mini chocolate cheesecake each. "Tu sais," said Joe, "ce cheesecake américain ne tombe pas entre les pièces si facile que la fiadone." (You know, this American cheesecake doesn't fall into pieces as easily as fiadone.)
The three picked apart their cheesecake quietly. "Alors, Katie," said Joe, "tu vas être en huitième année en septembre." (So, Katie, you'll be in Grade 8 in September.)
"Shh," said Katrina, "it's too soon to think about school."
"Sie hat Recht, weißt du," said Von Kaiser, "sie hat gerade am Freitag die siebte Klasse beendet." (She's right, you know, she just finished Grade 7 on Friday.)
After a bit, Von Kaiser noticed that Joe wasn't eating his cheesecake; just pushing it around and poking it with his fork. "Joseph, bist du in Ordnung? Wenn Sie satt sind, müssen Sie es nicht beenden." (Joseph, are you okay? If you're full, you don't have to finish it.)
"Non, ce n'est pas ça…" (No, it's not that…) Joe pursed his lips for a moment, then sighed. "Hier soir, je rêvais des propos de mon père." (Last night, I dreamed about my father.) He clenched his jaw. "Je ne peux pas m'arrêter. Je s'attaquer." (I couldn't stop myself. I attacked him.)
Von Kaiser looked understanding; far from the shock Joe expected from him. "Nun, Joseph, der Mann hat dich von Anfang an im Stich gelassen. Es ist normal, sich nachtragend zu fühlen." (Well, Joseph, the man abandoned you from the start. It's normal to feel resentful.)
Joe shook his head. "Je suis aigri, tellement aigri." (I am resentful, very resentful.) He looked up at Katrina, sighed, and put a hand over hers. "Quand tu étais un bebe, chaque fois que je sentir trop accablé, je me pousse parce que j'étais toujours pensé, 'je besoin d'être mieux que mon père'." (When you were a baby, every time I felt too overwhelmed, I pushed through because I was always thinking, 'I have to be better than my father'.)
He rubbed his eyes. "Le strict minimum. J'étais là pour ma fille, le strict minimum, et ce c'était suffisant." (The bare minimum. I was there for my daughter, the bare minimum, and that was enough.)
"Joseph, du hast mehr als das Nötigste getan. Du gibst jeden Tag alles für sie." (Joseph, you did more than the bare minimum. You go above and beyond for her every day.) Von Kaiser leaned in and kissed Joe's forehead.
"Besides," said Katrina, "it's not like you just dipped and ran off with someone way too young for you."
Von Kaiser was surprised at her choice of language, but Joe interrupted him before he could comment by stuffing a bite of cheesecake in his mouth. "Cheesecake, Viktor?"
Eventually, as the sun came up, all three finished their cheesecake breakfast. Joe yawned, and pulled himself up to go for a lie down to digest such a big meal.
