Y'all ready for some pissed off Hermione Granger? Because I am!

I don't own Harry Potter!

also, fuck jk Rowling.

Okay, enjoy!


Draco's POV

"Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" I whisper yelled as granger raised her wand.

"Give me one good reason ferret!" She shot back.

She looked pissed, more then when she'd punched me in third year, which was saying a lot. She stocked forward, reaching past me to close the door.

then granger proceeded to slam me into said door with a wand to my throat.

"Why are you here? To kill me, huh? Did your death eater pals send you to get rid of me?" She hissed.

"Actually, yes. Though I'm really trying to find a way not to."

"What?" Granger pulled back a little. She didn't lower her wand, but she did press it lighter.

"I-" I grunted a bit, pushing off the door. "Was sent to dispose of you. By the dark lord himself."

"And you don't want to?" The brightest witch of her age asked. She looked back towards the door before wrenching me away from it and into a desk chair.

"Hey Granger, if you wanted to throw me around. You should have just asked." I laughed, raising both hands in surrender.

"Expelliarmus!" She shot off quickly. So fast I couldn't react.

"Oi, that was not necessary!" I yelped, reaching out for my wand.

she scowled, pointing her wand back to my throat as she spoke.

"start taking. Before I curse your ass five ways til Sunday."

I sighed, scooting back a bit from the magic stick pressed into my windpipe.

"The Dark Lord wants you eliminated, and because of what happened with my father at the ministry last year, he wants me to do it.

I however, don't really want to do that. So, I have two days to figure out what to do before we both get killed."

Granger stared down at me incredulously. "Oh you have got to be kidding me."

she was pacing now, I guess taking my wand made me totally defenseless in her mind (which ya know, fair). At least she'd stopped pointing her wand at me.

"They sent you?!" Granger looked a little offended now.

"Hey, I will have you know that I am quite terrifying and if you didn't know I wasn't going to kill you, you'd be very scared." I fired back.

a snort at that. "Oh please! I would have hoped I called for at least a real death eater."

I glowered, wrenching my sleeve up and shoving it out to her. The dark mark sat raised, standing out against my pale forearm. The edges were still slightly pink due to it's freshness, and it still stung to the touch.

That stopped Granger's pacing, but not in the way I'd expected. Instead of horror, her face only filled with mild surprise (maybe, a dash of curiosity) as she stared over at it.

"hm, still thing I warranted at least Avery or Yaxley. Sending the ferret boy, I'm a bit insulted."

I glared. "Do you want me to help you or not Granger?"

she walked back over, plopping rather unceremoniously onto her bed.

"I think you mean do you want me to help both of us. And how do I know this isn't some elaborate plot to steal back your wand and kill me anyways?"

I paused. I hadn't really been banking on her asking so many questions. Then again, this was Hermione Granger I was dealing with. Good thing I brought an ace.

"Because of this Granger."

from my pocket I produced Harry's letter I'd nicked earlier and handed it to her. She took it curiously, eyebrows raised as she read it.

it was like a switch had been flipped in her brain. And yes I understand that reference!

Her jaw actually dropped a bit by the end, having to go threw it a few times to really comprehend.

"Is this real?" She asked, looking bewildered.

Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows. "Why on Merlin's saggy balls would potter be writing me love letters otherwise? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."

She sighed through her nose rather rudely and shot me a glare. She was quiet for a good long moment after that, seemingly lost in thought.

"So your sleeping with my best friend?" She finally bit out.

"For now, though I hope that changes. I do, care for potter an awful lot." I replied, coughing in embarrassment.

She nodded, looking pensively at the letter and back at me. With one final sigh, she tossed it back and stood.

"I swear Granger if you continue with that infernal pacing I will change my mind about the disposing of you part."

Said Granger just rolled her eyes and went on.

"So, what is your plan? Sneak me out of the country? Join Dumbledore? Have the both of us go into hiding?"

see, here's the thing. I lied before. I didn't have a plan. But I knew that Granger would, so that counts! Of course I wouldn't tell her that, I'd be a very bad slytherin if I did.

"None of the above. I wanted to include you in the decision making, seeing how it is your life. But yea I do have a plan."

again, another snort from the bookworm (really they were very unladylike, my mother would faint).

"Right. And I'm on the waiting staff for the queen!" She chortled, pulling her hair into a low ponytail.

"Who, Beyoncé?" I replied, unperturbed.

"What?" Granger shot back.

"My apologies, Daphne collects muggle magazines and lets us read them from time to time. But because it's a secret, she has to import them from America. I have come to understand that is their queens name."

Granger blinked, opening her mouth to say something before deciding against it.

The muggle queen...

"Actually Granger, that gives me a grand idea!" I stood quickly, beginning to pace myself.

"You want me to become wait staff for the queen?" She asked from her newly taken seat back on the bed.

"Yes! No! Kind of. If you were to go into hiding, in the muggle world, they could be tricked into thinking you were dead!"

her face screwed up in thought.

"But how'd you convince the others?"

I was thinking hard now, running calm fingers through my head. I snapped my head up.

"We'd have to completely submerse you into the muggle world, possibly even block out your memories of magic as a whole incase you get cold feet and come back too soon."

"I wouldn't get cold feet!" She shot back indignantly.

I tutted. "Yes you will Granger. Once things in the muggle world start to get as bad as things in our world are, you'll coming running back like the Griffindor you are."

"And what's that supposed to mean?!" She snapped.

"It means that sometimes you think with your heart instead of your head! And don't give me that look! You can't possibly tell me that you wouldn't hightail it back to them if you thought something was off!" I snapped back.

"And you wouldn't!" She shouted. I shot her a warning look, ears peeled for the sound of incoming footsteps.

Nothing.

"No! I would know that my friends could be trusted to look after themselves and that I should keep my ass in hiding. That if they'd really need me, they'd come get me."

Grangers face sparked with that lightbulb on look suddenly.

"Oh my god! That's it! You can alter my memory to go into the muggle world, and come get me if something goes wrong!"

"Wait that's not what I-"

she fixed me with a very stern look.

"You have to promise me."

"Promise you?"

"That you'll come get me if something happens! And that you'll come get me at all." She blurted, exasperated.

"Yes but why me? Wouldn't you want one of your actual friends to come get you?"

Granger looked away in that moment, a look of sadness on her face. I walked over, gingerly sitting next to her on her bed.

"You don't want you gang of miscreants to come get you?" I puzzled.

she grumbled and pressed her palms to her eyes. "We can't tell them. Harry and Ron would never let me do this. They'd say it was to dangerous!"

I stared, incredulous. "Let you? Granger, you are literally the only reason those idiots are still alive. Honestly granger they should be revering you as a god by this point."

she smiled slyly. "Their not idiots Malfoy-"

"I beg to differ. I don't like you all that much but come on! It must be like running around with toddlers with hero complex! Your the smartest one in the bunch!"

"I don't know if that's a compliment or not." She answered.

"I don't compliment mudbloods who dress like Madam Pince."

she glared, though with less heat then usual.

"Why are you helping me anyways? I get that your sleeping with Harry, but doesn't not killing me go against everything you believe in."

I leaned back, exhaling and deep in thought. "You are against what my father believes in. I have a rather cruel indifference towards your blood status."

"Then why are you such a bigoted asshole all the time?"

I gave her a rather harsh look at that. "Because, if anyone got wind that my opinions had changed, they'd run right back to my father! Forget the dark lord, he'd kill me first!"

"So, you've been faking it this whole time?" Granger pieced out.

"Well, no. I guess I was an 'bigoted asshole' for a while. But seeing umbridge and-"

"Putting your dick in my best mate might have changed you mind?" Granger snorted.

"oh my god enough with that! We have more important things to-! It was more then that, okay!" I blustered.

she chuckled. "Okay, okay. Do you know how to wipe my memory?"

"Yes, but I would recommend a block rather then completely wiping it." I recommend sternly.

"Why? Would a wipe be more thorough? If death eaters do end up finding me, I don't want to be able to give away information." Granger countered.

"A good point. However, memory charms are tricky, even for small things. To clear something as potent as the entire magical world and being a witch from your mind could be irreversible! You could end up in St.Mungos or the lunny bin!"

"So, blocking my memory. How does that work? Is it the same spell". Granger prompted.

"No. Basically what will happen is I will cast legilimens, go into your mind, and manually block out each one."

she looked up sharply. "Wait, in my mind?" She questioned.

"I know it's not ideal, but it's this or risking the loss of your mind, your sanity. It's your choice." I relented.

Granger looked distracted, but agreed nonetheless. She stood, walking over to the light grey desk and sitting quickly. Pulling out three sheets of parchment, she began to write, tongue stuck out a little.

She penned out the first in a matter of minutes, but hovered over the last one. I'd never seen her so anxious.

She turned to me then, eyes far away.

"Can I, have a moment. Please? I want to write this last letter in private."

I blinked and stood, nodding curtly.

Granger was still bent over the desk as I left.


Granger's house was, odd.

The upstairs was normal enough, three bedrooms I refused the urge to snoop in and a neat bathroom two doors down.

it, was filled with a porcelain sink and bathtub, but not much else.

the rest of the house was another story. The living room was warm and cozy, yet miraculously clean. A large strange black object sat on the wall, glossy and rectangular.

a click sound behind me, and the object roared to life, blaring loud indistinguishable chatter and flashing frenzied images.

I understandably leaped back, back hitting the couch and sending myself sprawling.

a warm laugh sounded behind me, and I scrambled up to find Mrs. Granger pointing a rectangular device at the black object. She was laughing, but not in a mean way and came over to reassure me.

"I'm *snort* so sorry about that. Sometimes I *giggle* forget that magical folk don't have Telly.

I nodded politely and she lead me into the kitchen.

yet another assortment of down right bizarre muggle things. A small oven sat on the counter, a tail-like cord connecting it to the wall.

A strange circular pot that looked remarkably like a kettle, only it also connected to the wall and had a small red light at the bottom.

I was examining a torturing device with a egg shaped cage on the end when Granger's mother spoke next.

"So, your one of Hermione's friends from school? I admit I don't remember her talking much about you. Draco, was it?"

Oh fuck.

"Well, um. That's understandable! We've only really become friends recently. So-"

"Though I do recall-" She interrupted, putting a delicate finger on her chin. "That there was a boy named Draco in her class who was rather cruel. Calling her a mudblood?"

i blustered, unsure of what to say.

"Well..."

"So tell me. What changed your mind?"

she was leaning on the counter, head cocked, eyes sparkling a little. She wasn't angry like I'd thought she would be.

Again, her appearance was striking to her daughter.

I sighed, about to answer, when quick footsteps sounded from the stairs.

Hermione had finally come down (and thankfully got me out of that conversation), eyes a little red but dry.

in her hands were three crisp letters, Grangers notable loopy scrawl over the back. She stood tall, stiff and brave as she had the night of the Yule ball. If I hadn't busy goggling potter in those dress robes (like the hot confused idiot he was.), she might have caught my eye.

The bookworm in question gave me a grim smile before turning to her mother.

They seemed to have a long conversation with only their eyes, resulting with Mrs. Granger's sigh and Hermione's thankful nod.

"Come on, if we're gonna do this, we need to do it now." She prompted, pointing to the back door.

"I'll-, I'll leave you to it then." For the first time, Mrs. Granger looked unsure.

She then pulled her daughter into a hug, whispering something into her hair and kissing her forehead. Hermione set the first letter on the table before squeezing it back.

then, they drew apart, Mrs. Granger offering me a single nod to me and climbing the stairs.

"let's go then." I agreed.

"Wait, what about the trace? How are you going to do this spell and get me out of here before the aurors get here?" Hermione asked out of the blue.

I laughed for the first time in ages. "Oh Granger, sometimes I forget your helplessness during the summer hols."

"what do you mean?"

I grinned. "My family developed a spell a few decades ago that blocked the trace for up to ten hours. We use it at events and gatherings."

she glared at me, opening her mouth before deciding to bite her tongue.

granger lead us to a small bench in the back garden. It, like the rest of their home, was miraculous neat yet homey.

"Just, promise me something. Before you do this."

Granger handed me the two of the three letters she'd written. They were addressed to Ron and Harry, and the other to...

"Fred Weasley? The twin weasels who tried to blow up umbridge?" I questioned

Granger went rather pink and I had my answer.

"I'll get it to him. I swear."

"One more thing, a vow?"

"Yes, stick out your right hand granger." I agreed.

"Do you vow to return and restore my memory in due time of the wars end or a need for my assistance?"

"Yes." I answered, a thin golden strand wrapping around our joined arms.

"Do you vow to bring no intention harm to me casting the memory block, or breaking it in time?"

"I do." I nodded again.

"And do you vow to protect Harry Potter and my friends to the best of your ability while I am away?"

that last one surprised me, but granger sat unwarned.

"Yes I do."

By now, the golden strain had thickened into a rope-like link. It glowed, magic traveling up both our arms like a heat wave. It melted into our skin, set forever.

"Alright, now close you eyes. It's best if I put you to sleep for this part."

She did, leaning back into the bench with a gentle trusting look.

I took a deep breath and readied myself.

"legilimens."


It was done.

granger slept peacefully, the only sign anything was wrong was that her wand was no longer in her hands.

I gripped it. Looking down sadly at the only student who had ever bested me.

gritting my teeth, I snapped it. Hoping to any known power granger would forgive me for it.

then, lifting Granger up with an arm around my neck, I disapperated us.


Okay! Finally done!

This is acutely the longest chapter I've ever written, isn't that crazy!

anyways, here is you reminder to drink some fucking water. You need it!

love y'all!