Content warning: implied (non-explicit) sexual relationship involving a minor.
Chapter 45: Rebranding
Jasper stayed with the Collins for nearly three weeks, even after the rest of the Cullens returned from Isle Esme. Under normal circumstances, Louisa probably wouldn't have minded. As it was, her boyfriend was agitated, and, despite his insistence that the Cullens were not his family, Louisa knew that he missed them. Louisa missed them too—she hadn't gone to visit the family since they arrived home. And although the younger Cullens visited several times a week, it just wasn't the same.
It was only after several long conversations with Emmett that Jasper finally returned to the Cullen house. She wasn't sure what all had been said, but it was enough for Jasper to agree to talk to Carlisle and hash out their differences. There were still a lot of trust issues between the two men, but it was enough that they could live under the same roof again. Louisa had also idly wondered how much Jasper's distaste for playing human contributed to his return to the Cullens.
Emmett shrugged when Louisa thanked him profusely for his help. "Carlisle and Rosie butt heads a lot. Carlisle and Jazz, even more so. You'll get used to mediating after you join the family." He smiled, his dimples giving him a boyish appearance that shouldn't have looked so natural on a grown man's face. "Something for you to look forward to, huh?"
Louisa wasn't so sure that she'd have to, though. Jasper might have returned to the Cullen's, but she was starting to get the impression that it was only for the time being. Despite Jasper's temporary truce with Carlisle, there was an underlying tension to their relationship that neither man could disguise. Louisa hated to think that she was the cause of the falling out, but she couldn't think of a way to broach the subject with her boyfriend, let alone fix things.
"Honestly, Lou," Emmett replied, heaving a heavy sigh as he extended a gargantuan hand to muse her hair. "Jazz isn't wrong when he says that Carlisle screwed up. He has every right to be mad at him—hell, we all are. You figuring out the Elder Issue has nothing to do with their argument. I'm sure Jasper would have figured it out eventually. He's smart like that," he added with a laugh. "Jasper would have been more pissed to know that you knew the whole time and were waiting for him to figure it out for himself. You did the right thing by telling him."
"But how do I fix this?" Louisa asked.
Emmett gave her a soft look. "You don't. You're gonna have to let them work it out on their own."
"Jasper wants to move to Switzerland after we graduate," she confided. He hadn't told her this yet, but she'd been able to pick up enough of his plans to piece it together. "Is it because of what I said?"
Emmett didn't look nearly surprised as she thought he'd be with this revelation. "Again, you've done nothing wrong. Jazz was planning on somewhere remote for your change well before this tiff with Carlisle."
"But moving away from you all?" She asked. "I'll be a newborn—aren't we uncontrollable? Wouldn't it be easier if we stuck together?"
Emmett shook his head. "Jazz can handle a newborn just fine on his own. It's Forks that's the problem—it isn't remote enough. Besides, I doubt you'd want to be around the rest of us after the change—too many people to stimulate your new brain and too many threats to your food sources. Jasper says newborns tend to be calmer the more isolated you keep them."
"I'd guess he'd know," Louisa mused.
"It won't be forever," he reminded her gently. "Just until your newborn year is over and we've had time to move away from Forks."
"Move away?" she asked. "But you've only been here a few years. I thought you all tried to stay in a town for at least ten years?"
"Normally, yeah," he said. "It all comes back to the treaty, actually. We're not allowed to bite humans."
"Yeah, you can't indulge in the walking juice boxes."
"No, not just feed from them," Emmett said with a sad smile. "Bite. Turning you violates the treaty."
It wasn't hard for Louisa to connect the dots. "I'll never be able to return to Forks again?" She scowled when Emmett gave her a sad smile and shook his head. "This fucking treaty."
"That's how we're all feeling about it right now," Emmett agreed. He patted her arm. "Try not to worry. Jasper has it under control."
Emmett's advice was easier said than done. To distract herself from her worries regarding her mortality, and with tensions in the Cullen's house at an all-time high, Louisa threw herself into other, non-paranormal activities as the summer ended. Like visiting Kelly.
The ten-year-old had somehow picked up a virus that, under normal circumstances, might have kept someone at home for a few days. But Kelly, with her useless kidneys and overtaxed immune system, had to be admitted to the hospital in late August.
Louisa tried to visit often, of course. But as the virus continued to ravage her body and she grew weaker, it was rare to see Kelly awake. In fact, Louisa was lucky enough if she managed an entire conversation with her, let alone read a book together. Still, she knew that Kelly appreciated the visits, and while it was difficult to see the little girl she had grown to care for so ill, she wouldn't have missed a single moment of their time together.
Unfortunately, she soon found that time was in short supply. With the arrival of September came the return of school, and with it, one more thing that drew her attention away.
"Senior year," Mr Collins muttered, shaking his head when Louisa finally stumbled downstairs. "How did that happen?"
"And yet she still can't wake up on time," Dottie teased as she passed a mug of coffee to Louisa.
Louisa scowled. "I'm up, aren't I?" She was even dressed. Granted, if Alice hadn't dictated which skirt and sensible button-down Louisa would wear for the day, she doubted she'd make it downstairs so early.
One more year, she thought. One more year, she'd be done with school, and it would be just her and Jasper. When she ignored the fact that she'd be a monster with uncontrollable bloodlust, she was almost relieved.
"It's a miracle," her father agreed, looking vaguely impressed.
"It's Jasper," Dottie corrected. "He woke her up this morning."
Mr Collins didn't look nearly as impressed by this explanation. "And yet he still refuses to stay for breakfast," he said, giving Louisa an annoyed look—as if it were somehow her fault that her boyfriend never seemed to eat the food her father prepared for him.
"It's his acne medication," Louisa lied. "It makes him really nauseous."
Dottie nodded with understanding. "Katie Marshall is like that. If she eats anything before lunch, she projectile vomits—like, total Exorcist moment. But she's got skin brighter than my future, so I guess it's worth it."
Mr Collins, who had just raised a spoonful of porridge to his lips, dropped the spoon back into his bowl. His lips twisted in disgust. "Thank you for sharing, Dorothy."
After that lovely visual, Louisa's appetite was also sufficiently ruined. She put the bread she had been about to toast back into the bag. Her father was less than impressed with her skipping a meal, so Louisa compromised by stuffing an apple into her school bag to eat later.
"Don't forget, you're driving Bella today," her father said after taking a billion First-Day-of-School pictures on the front porch.
Louisa grunted. She had hoped that spending time together had eased some of the discomforting wrongness she felt around the girl. Still, every time they ran into each other (at the grocers, generally. Although Dottie had forced the girl to go bowling with them a couple of weeks ago), it was like a slap to the face. Her hair stood on end, and her skin itched as she tried, and inevitably failed, to get a read on their new neighbour. Spending time with Bella was nothing but a headache waiting to happen.
Their first day of school of the year documented, at last, the sisters were dismissed, and they headed for the little silver Prius sitting in the driveway.
"You'll have to drive yourself home this afternoon," Louisa explained as they buckled their safety belts. "The Cullens and I are taking an ASL class at Peninsula College."
"Why would you want to learn ASL?"
"It's useful," Louisa pointed out. "And I want to teach Kit."
It had been a fleeting idea back in July when she first met Kit at the park. She honestly hadn't contemplated in since. After all, when Lauren expressed her disinterest in allowing Louisa to even talk to the girl, she had doubted she'd ever see Kit again. That was until last week when she received a confirmation email for a sign language class she had never enrolled in. The whole thing reeked of Alice's meddling. Still, Alice never did anything without a good reason. If Alice saw Louisa and the Cullen crew learning ASL, who was Louisa to disagree?
"Kit who?"
A thought occurred to Louisa suddenly, and she wondered why she hadn't thought of it before: Dottie was friends with Lauren Mallory. "Mallory. Lauren's sister?"
"Oh, you're talking about Katherine?" When Louisa nodded, Dottie gave her an uneasy sidelong look. "Yeah, I've met her. Mr and Mrs Mallory don't like it when she talks to strangers."
Anger flared in her chest at Dottie's words. "Because she's deaf? What is wrong with them? You'd think the kid's got leprosy instead of—"
"It's not because she's deaf," Dottie said quietly, cutting off her ranting.
"Then why do they hate her so much?"
"They don't hate her," Dottie explained. "They're terrified of her."
The idea of anyone being terrified of shy little Kit was so ludicrous that Louisa laughed. Dottie didn't find the idea so funny, though. Her sister pursed her lips and stared at her with a guarded expression.
Dottie was afraid too, she realised. Her amusement evaporated, and she turned her full attention to her sister.
"Why? She's probably fifty pounds soaking wet."
Dottie was already shaking her head before she had finished. "There's something wrong with that girl," she disagreed, surprising Louisa. "Look, you've never been to their house before, but…it's like there's this malicious cloud hanging over her. She's so angry… and bad things happen when she's mad."
The picture Dottie was painting was utterly incongruous with the shy little girl Louisa had met, and she had half a mind to tell Dottie that she was being ridiculous. But the fear in Dottie's voice was like nothing Louisa had ever heard from her sister before. She could even see the hair on Dottie's arms rising just at the thought of Kit Mallory.
Edward had once mentioned that he suspected Dottie had a heightened sensitivity to the paranormal. Did Dottie know something she didn't?
"Like what?" she asked.
Dottie pursed her lips, and indecision flickered across her face. "Things break, fly across the room, belongings go missing. Lauren's been pushed down the stairs more times than she can count."
That…was a lot less funny. If there was a non-paranormal cause behind the odd happenings, the obvious explanation was that Kit Mallory was a budding psychopath. "Have you seen anything personally?"
"Maybe. I don't know."
They had pulled into the Swan's driveway and watched as Bella stumbled clumsily down the garden path.
"Tell me?" Louisa asked in a rush, immensely relieved when Bella tripped and ate dirt. She knew that Dottie would clam up if Bella was around to hear, and Louisa wasn't sure if she'd get another chance to question her sister
"Last May, we were studying for finals in Lauren's basement, and we went to get popcorn from the kitchen. Katherine smelled it, I guess and came to ask for some. But she's deaf, right? She doesn't talk. And Lauren kept saying to go away or speak like a normal person, and I was about to tell her how fucked up that was. But then there was this wind." Dottie shuddered at the memory. "It came out of nowhere. It was like a tornado was blowing through the kitchen. All the cupboards were opening and shutting, and Tupperware was flying…" She paused and looked down at her lap, her face contorted with confusion and fear. "The thing is, I distinctly remember that all of the doors and windows were closed. There was no way Katherine could have done it herself, you know? But she was just standing there in the eye of it all. Her face was…"
The door opened, and Bella tripped into the backseat of the Prius. Dottie forced a grin on her face, turning to greet Bella as if she hadn't been starting off Louisa's morning with a horror story.
Dottie chattered away to an overwhelmed Bella as Louisa drove them to Forks High School (Home of the Spartans!), their conversation about Kit clearly over. This arrangement suited Louisa just fine, as it gave her time to review everything she had learned. She was so deep in her thoughts that she almost missed her name being read for attendance in homeroom. She probably would have forgotten to respond had Rosalie not kicked her in the ankle.
With great difficulty, she, too, shelved the mystery surrounding Kit Mallory and focused on her lessons. Her first class of the day was Spanish, once again with Rose and Jasper, and they commandeered the back corner of Mrs Goff's classroom for themselves. After a period of outrageously flirting with her boyfriend in Spanish, Louisa suffered through calculus with Emmett, then physics with Rosalie.
Louisa and Rose were the first to arrive in the canteen for lunch later that day. After kicking out a group of snotty freshmen upstarts, they reclaimed the Cullen Table and waited for the others. Emmett was the first to show up, and he forced the canteen to watch him give a very enthusiastic and sloppy greeting to his wife. Even Louisa, who was used to the couple's excessive PDA, thought it was a bit much.
She was relieved when Alice dropped into an empty chair next to Emmett.
"Alice," Louisa began. "I have a question—"
"Yes, you could theoretically learn ASL instantly by using your gift on your teacher. No, I don't recommend it because it will put you in a coma."
"Okay, noted. Although that wasn't what I wanted to ask you."
"Yet."
Louisa raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "What do you know about Kit Mallory?"
Alice pursed her lips, and her eyes went unfocused as she searched the future. "You're going to be her babysitter. Mrs Mallory will pay you twenty dollars an hour for the first month. Once you pass the probationary period, they'll pay you double." She frowned and refocused her gaze on Louisa. "The doll will be a hit."
Conversations like this were exactly why she hated asking Alice about the future. "Why is there a probation period?"
"Who pays a teen babysitter that much money?" Rosalie asked.
"Forget that. Who's Kit?" Emmett asked, looking even more confused than Louisa herself.
Edward responded before Louisa had the chance to. "She's Lauren Mallory's little sister. No, they don't keep her locked up in the attic, Rosalie. Louisa, you'll find the doll at a Goodwill in Seattle. And before you ask, no. Lauren rarely thinks about her sister, so I don't know much either." He took the unoccupied chair beside Alice, leaving a gap between himself and Louisa for Jasper. "Jasper got held back by Coach Clapp—he's trying to recruit him for the basketball team again," Edward explained, answering yet another one of Louisa's unanswered questions. "Emmett, he's planning on ambushing you at the end of the day."
"Edward, can I just say how much I missed you?" Louisa teased. "You make things so much simpler."
"Trust me, it gets old after a few decades," Emmett said. "Now, back to Kit."
Louisa gave him the Sparknotes version of her encounter with the deaf child over the summer, Lauren's reaction to it, and most interestingly, the information she had gotten out of Dottie that morning.
"Classic poltergeist," Emmett said with a sage-like nod. "They like preteen girls."
The Cullen siblings groaned in unison.
"Ghosts don't exist, Emmett," Rosalie said. A smile twitched her lips as she squeezed her husband's thigh. "We've been over this."
"Jasper believes me," Emmett shot back as if this settled the matter. "And Carlisle totally believes in gnomes."
"He thinks garden gnomes are amusing," Edward corrected, his eyes screwed shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "He doesn't believe that gnomes actually exist."
"What's the difference between a poltergeist and a ghost?" Louisa asked before Emmett and Edward could duke it out over the existence of the paranormal (themselves notwithstanding, naturally).
"Ghosts are the spirits of people who remain on earth after death. They manifest visually and are tied to a certain area or object. Poltergeists, on the other hand, were never people. They're a type of energy tied to a specific human, and they create physical disturbances," Emmett explained, ignoring the eye rolls from his siblings.
"I thought ghosts could move things too," Louisa replied. "Isn't that why people thought my house was haunted for so long?"
Rosalie waved her hand towards Louisa with a 'there you have it' sort of gesture. "By your definition, a ghost can't be a poltergeist. And yet Louisa—"
"Her house wasn't even haunted," Emmett shot back, his eyes alight with delight. Any other person would have been pissed off by having their beliefs attacked, but Emmett seemed to find it thrilling. "It was a human all along."
"And there's probably a very real, human explanation about what's going on at the Mallory house," Edward said. "Most poltergeist activity has been debunked. They're almost exclusively caused by an adolescent girl throwing objects to scare people or to get attention. Katherine Mallory fits the criteria."
Louisa hummed in thought as she watched Emmett continue to defend his 'ghosts-are-real' campaign. She wasn't entirely convinced, but then again, she hadn't thought that vampires existed a year ago. Now she was dating one. Who was to say that something else wasn't out there?
"How does one even go about testing this?" Louisa asked. "And how are you even supposed to get rid of a poltergeist?"
Emmett's head snapped towards her so fast she swore she heard it crack. "You'll investigate?" he asked, sounding like a child on Christmas.
She shrugged. "I'd consider it, so long as it doesn't upset Kit. I'd need help, though."
"I'm ready," Emmett said, pumping a fist into the air. "Louisa Whitlock, Private Investigator, is back in business."
"I don't think this is the type of thing PIs investigate," she said with a laugh.
Emmett wasn't discouraged. "Okay, so we rebrand. How about Louisa Whitlock, Paranormal Investigator."
Louisa tilted her head in confusion. "Why does the rebrand include taking on Jasper's last name?"
Panic flared in Emmett's eyes for the briefest of moments. "It's a rebrand, LJ. Out with the old and in with the new."
"Yes, but—"
"This rebranding suggests that Louisa will be handing out business cards," Jasper interjected.
Louisa grinned at her boyfriend, who kissed her gently before sliding into the empty seat beside her. He dropped a lazy arm over her shoulders, and Louisa leaned into his side, resting a hand on his knee.
"Don't give me ideas," she said cheekily.
Jasper chuckled and kissed her temple, his nose lingering in her hair for longer than was strictly necessary. It was then that she noticed that undercurrent of agitation that her boyfriend was trying not to project, and she tilted her head up to study his face. It was as blank and passive as he generally kept it in the company of others, and yet there was a tightness to his jaw that didn't compliment the placid look.
"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly whilst the others were distracted. She knew they could still hear, but they were polite enough to give her and Jasper a semblance of privacy.
Jasper shrugged, the nonchalant gesturing belying the pain in his eyes. Even though Jasper had hunted that morning, his yellow eyes had already darkened dramatically, indicating the need to feed again. She briefly wondered if he could make it through the day.
"The first few days back are always the worst," he admitted when she continued to stare at him in concern. "The smell is…"
He didn't finish his line of thought, but Louisa had no problems filling in the blanks. Especially when his eyes darkened further, making the dark circles beneath his eyes even more pronounced.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
He kissed her forehead, lingering for several moments as he breathed deeply. He didn't complain when Louisa rose from her chair and deposited herself in his lap. Instead, he buried his face in her neck and unabashedly inhaled her scent.
"Your scent helps," he admitted.
"Do you want my sweatshirt?" she asked after a moment of consideration.
Jasper peaked up at her through heavily lidded eyes. "Do you mean my sweatshirt?" he asked, his fingers playing with the hem of an old, faded Cornell jumper that Louisa had thrown over her shirt.
Louisa grinned and tapped his nose. "Rule number one when you have a girlfriend, Babe. All of your sweatshirts are surrendered to me."
"Ain't that the truth," Emmett muttered.
Louisa grinned and wrapped her arms around Jasper's neck, playing with the soft curls at his nape. "But I'll share it with you if you think it will help."
"It will," Alice interjected.
They rolled their eyes in unison.
"Then I'll wear it for the rest of lunch. You can have it back and smell like a stinky human for the rest of the day," she explained, running her nose along Jasper's clenched jaw, pleased when she felt some of the tension melt out of his body.
"Humans don't stink," Edward explained. "That's the problem: they smell delightful."
"What do I smell like?" she asked, morbidly curious.
"Very sweet," Alice replied without hesitation.
"A bit like pears," Rosalie added after a moment of consideration. "And something not quite vanilla, but similarly warm."
"You smell different to Jasper than the rest of us, though," Edward said. "He can't smell your blood like we do. It would be a poor design flaw if human mates were on the menu."
Jasper rolled his eyes.
Edward gave him an offended look. "I was only answering her question," he said, no doubt responding to something Jasper had thought. "There's no need for name-calling."
"As I said, LJ," Emmett cut in. "The mind-reading gets old pretty fast."
Jasper blinked and raised an eyebrow, causing Edward to scowl. "If you would prefer, I could—"
But what that was, Edward never finished. Instead, his yellow eyes grew wide with wonder as he stared across the cafeteria. Confused, Louisa and the rest of the Cullens turned around to see whatever had captivated Edward, looking out over the sea of noisy students. Finding nothing she considered worthy of such an extreme reaction, Louisa turned back to the table, confused.
"Her name is Isabella Swan," Alice said quietly, answering Edward's unasked question. "She prefers Bella. She moved here over the summer."
"She's my—" His voice cracked.
"Yes."
The look of fascination melted into that of a frightened child. Edward tore his gaze away from Bella, his eyes wide with panic. "No."
Louisa blinked, and Edward was gone.
No Stone Left Unturned
"Will Edward be okay?" Louisa asked tentatively once they were safely nestled in the Cullen's silver Volvo at the end of the day. Jasper was driving, with Emmett folded into the passenger seat and the three girls crammed into the back. It was a tight squeeze, but the drive to Port Angeles wasn't long with a vampire behind the wheel.
After the disastrous first sight between Edward and his mate, the youngest Cullen son had taken off, leaving school halfway through the day. His siblings had made excuses for him, so his absence wasn't suspicious, but Louisa fretted for the rest of the afternoon.
Alice sighed. "It could have been worse," she admitted, her eyes closed as she rubbed her temples. "If they had met over the summer…"
"Is that why you made us go to Isle Esme?" Emmett asked. He was crammed in the passenger seat, his knees nearly to his chin, but he still managed to contort his body so he could face Alice. "I can't believe you didn't tell me that Eddie has a mate."
"I hadn't planned on telling anyone," Alice explained. She slumped down and rested her head on Louisa's lap. "If he found out too early, he would have rejected her."
Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie cringed.
"Might he still?" Rosalie asked, her voice ladened with an uncharacteristic amount of sympathy for her brother.
Alice let out a little whimper and buried her face in Louisa's lap. Louisa ran a comforting hand through Alice's hair. "I can't tell. He's considering too many plans for me to see anything concrete."
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Emmett asked, reaching back to rub Alice's back.
"Carlisle will have the best chance of getting through to him," Alice said after a moment of consideration. "Oh, but he's in a twelve-hour long surgery. Rosalie, if you could sit with him for a little while…Jasper, you need to spend the night with Louisa. The two of you will only make it worse."
"What would I do?" Louisa asked, slightly hurt that she couldn't be relied on to help Edward.
"Your situation is too similar," Alice reminded her, squinting up at her through narrowed eyelids.
"Except I never seriously entertained leaving you," Jasper said, shooting Louisa a gentle look in the rear-view mirror. "I'm doing the exact opposite of what Edward thinks he should do."
When they pulled into the car park of Peninsula College, Rosalie took off at a run, moving so fast that Louisa only managed to catch a flash of blonde hair before she disappeared into the trees. The rest of them trudged towards the classroom, their desire to learn a new language dampened by the day's events.
Louisa couldn't say she absorbed much of the lesson, which left her frustrated with herself. She wanted to learn ASL, yet she couldn't focus on anything but Edward. She could understand why she might have attempted to use her gift to pick up ASL from their professor.
Alice was similarly distracted, her eyes sliding in and out of focus as she watched Edward's future.
"He's going to Alaska," Alice announced on the drive home.
"When will he be back?" Emmett asked.
"Future unclear," Alice groaned, squeezing her eyes. "Ask again later."
Louisa winced when Alice's head dropped heavily into her lap but obediently began to stroke her hair. "But he will be back?"
"He hasn't decided yet," she said. "But most likely. He won't be able to stay around Tanya indefinitely."
"He could always go off to college," Emmett pointed out. "Or travel the world."
That elicited a small laugh from Alice. "Like he could stay away from Carlisle and Esme for that long."
"Or Bella," Jasper added. "He'll come 'round."
"That one I'm not too sure about," Alice said. "It's hazy, but… there's a possibility he'd ask us to leave Forks. Oh, but…" she whimpered and buried her face into Louisa's lap. "I don't want you to leave."
Tranquillity flooded the car, and Louisa sighed with relief. "Thanks, Jasper."
"Who's leaving, Alice?" Emmett asked, his voice unnaturally even under Jasper's influence.
"Everyone. The family will fracture. Jasper will stay in Forks with Louisa long enough for her to graduate. We might see them a few times a decade after that… Rose will hate being away from Louisa, so the two of you will take off as well…"
Louisa stilled at this pronouncement. The Cullen's might fall apart because of Bella Swan?
Jasper reached back and patted Alice's shoulder, sending an intense wave of peace into her. "It's going to be alright, Ali," he murmured.
Alice went limp under his influence but somehow managed to find the energy to shake her head. "That vision is clearer. I don't understand. What…" She shivered before succumbing to Jasper's gift.
There was no more talk of Edward or the fate of the Cullen family for the rest of the drive. In fact, under Jasper's chill vibes, nobody felt the need to talk at all. They arrived at the Cullen house not long after, only to find Esme sobbing in Carlisle's arms, Edward long gone.
Unable to take the tense atmosphere, Jasper swung Louisa into his arms and sprinted back to the Collins's house. They found it blissfully empty—Dottie and Mr Collins had gone out for dinner, not expecting Louisa back so early. Not feeling very hungry, she led Jasper to her room, her fingers laced through his as they trudged up the stairs. She dropped her school bag at her desk, staring blankly at the wall.
"Where is your mind at, angel?" Jasper asked, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his chest against her back. He brushed aside her hair and kissed her neck.
Louisa hummed and turned around, burying her face in his shoulder. "What's going to happen to Edward?"
Jasper pulled back enough to look her in the eyes. "Everything will be fine, Lou. You know Edward—he's histrionic, but he'll come around." Jasper dragged his hands up and down Louisa's sides as he spoke, his words infused with comfort that only an empath could produce.
"Alice said that he could reject—"
"He won't," Jasper disagreed before giving her a sweet, gentle kiss.
Under normal circumstances, she would have let Jasper kiss away her worries. But then she recalled the tense atmosphere in the car and how even Emmett reacted to Alice's news seriously. Her stomach clenched with anxiety, and she pulled back. "What does it mean?"
Jasper sighed and led her over to their bed. He sat cross-legged in the centre and pulled her into his lap, positioning her to face him. "You know that vampires have mates."
Louisa wrapped her arms around his neck. "You might have mentioned the idea a time or two," she joked. "Something about us being supernatural soulmates?"
Jasper kissed the tip of her nose, a tiny smile flashing across his lips. "Mates are an instinctual thing. You don't get to choose who they are. You just make eye contact and…" He trailed off and pulled on her arm that wasn't enclosed in a cast, taking her hand and lacing his fingers through hers. "You're still human, so you can't feel it like I can. But for vampires, our worlds literally revolve around our mates. You'd do anything to protect them because you know that if they were to die, you couldn't survive without them.
"But at the same time, the mating bond is not some magical force that compels you to fall in love—some never do. There are more than a few mated pairs who can't stand each other but can't stay away from each other. Caius and Athenadora are the most famous example."
"Like the Volturi leader?" Louisa asked, fascinated. She had devoted so many hours to learning about Aro that she hadn't even considered what the other two vampire kings might be like.
Jasper nodded. "Caius is notoriously bad-tempered and difficult to be around."
"He sounds charming," she drawled. "Why does she put up with them if he's a perpetual dickhead?"
"Because of the mating bond," he explained patiently. "Their instincts tell them that the other person completes them. It makes you want to…"
"Love them?" she offered, though she knew immediately that this wasn't the correct answer. She didn't feel compelled to love Jasper. And, going off of Jasper's description of Caius, she didn't think Athenadora felt compelled to love Caius either.
He shook his head, eyes glazed as he tried to sort through his thoughts. "You have this overwhelming urge to just be around your mate. I'm not sure I'm explaining it correctly—you'll understand after you're changed. It's like… I know that the safest place for you is with me. And if you're safe, I'm safe too." He shook his head again as if to clear it. "For most sane vampires, such close proximity leads to friendship, then love. But like any relationship, you have to put in the effort for that to happen.
"In fact, it's not uncommon for vampires to struggle when they first encounter their mate. Vampires are static, unchanging beings, but the mating bond changes who you are at your very core. Mating causes a lot of emotional upheaval, and it can be hard for most vampires to come to terms with."
Louisa pursed her lips and tried to remember the early days of their relationship—back when Jasper was only her hot Spanish partner with whom she enjoyed flirting. He had been so standoffish and quiet then, way more so than he was now. At the time, she had assumed he was just a bit shy or introverted, but the way he spoke sounded like he had first-hand knowledge of this mate-acceptance struggle. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it wasn't love at first sight when I waltzed into Spanish class fifteen minutes late?"
She knew she wouldn't be offended by his response. After all, she had hardly loved him at that point either. Thought he was attractive as hell? Sure. But she probably would have pepper-sprayed him in the eyes if he had told her that he was madly in love with her and they were destined to be together for the rest of eternity. At the very least, such conversations should be left until after the second date.
Jasper laughed and nodded. "I thought you were so weird when I first met you. There is this intensity about you, especially when you're thinking. It felt like you're x-raying me—it was unnerving." Her heart fluttered at the sight of his boyish grin. "I like it now, though. It's sexy, watching your mind work."
This was news to Louisa. "You hid it well," she said. "When did you finally accept that I was the centre of your entire universe?"
Jasper rolled his eyes and gave her a fondly exasperated look. "Last November," he admitted. "You had been admitted to the ER after your first psychometric vision, and…" he trailed off, toying with her fingers as he spoke. "That was the first time I realised that if I lost you, that would be it. There couldn't be a me without you." A dark, haunted look flashed in his yellow eyes, and he shuddered. He leaned forward to place a hungry, opened mouth kiss on the hollow of her throat.
Louisa tilted her head back to give him better access and stroked his cheek while she digested this piece of information. "What would have happened if you hadn't accepted the bond?" The like Edward might not? was left unspoken.
The conversation had circled back to the part Jasper seemed most reluctant to discuss. She didn't get the impression that he was trying to hide anything from her (after all, he had been rather forthcoming up until that point); rather, he found to topic particularly uncomfortable for him. Distressing even, if his shifting eyes and clenched jaw were anything to go by. Louisa stroked the ridge of his cheekbone with the pad of her thumb. She could feel the tension radiating through him—it poured into her, making her skin itch, as if it were too small for her body.
Jasper sighed heavily and pulled away. "Most likely? I would've become a shell of a creature with no meaning. No purpose. It's unnatural to reject your mate—even mates that hate each other stay together. I suppose one can survive rejecting your mate, but to do so would be to curse yourself for the rest of your existence." He shook his head as if to clear it from the unpleasant thoughts.
Louisa stroked his hair, and Jasper let out a little purr before burying his face in her neck again. They stayed silent for some time as Louisa collected her thoughts, and Jasper was in no mood to rush her musings. "If having a mate fulfils you," Louisa began. "Why would you reject it?"
She couldn't even imagine ever breaking up with Jasper, which she supposed was the closest a human could get to rejecting a mate. Just the idea left her feeling agitated and sick to her stomach. He was everything she could ever want in a partner, as cheesy as that sounded. She might only be a human, but Jasper was hers. Never in a million years could she imagine giving him up.
Jasper shrugged. "It depends on the situation, I suppose. The one time I saw it happen was back in Maria's army. One of my lieutenants—Violet was her name." Jasper's eyes were unfocused as he spoke, and he tightened his arms around Louisa, pulling her flush to his chest. She went willingly and looped her arms around his neck.
"Vi had found her mate in Abigail, one of the newborns. But even if they survived the battles, newborns were deemed useless after their first year. Abigail was no exception. When Abigail's newborn year was up, Maria commanded that she be killed. And she decided Vi would be the one to do it."
"And she followed orders," Louisa guessed in a hushed whisper.
Jasper nodded, looking miserable. "Vi had struggled to accept the bond from the beginning—she said that it would only make it weaker. She killed Abigail herself." Jasper closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. "Vi was never the same. She made it three weeks before she died on the battlefield. I think she just gave up." He shook his head. "Death was probably the kindest thing."
Louisa realised that if Jasper had witnessed the whole ordeal, he would have felt it too. Because of the nature of his gift, he knew exactly how awful it felt to both reject and lose a mate. He wasn't being melodramatic with his description, but rather, his conclusions were drawn from a careful study of what he had witnessed. Jasper probably knew better than any of the Cullens what was in store for Edward. Alice might be able to see the outcome of Edward's idiotic decisions, but Jasper already knew what it would feel like.
"And that's what will happen to Edward," Louisa concluded, troubled. She might not be as close to Edward as she was to Jasper or Rose, but she still loved him. She didn't even want to entertain the idea of living life without him in her new family. "Is there anything we can do to stop him?"
Jasper looked down at her, his yellow eyes focused once more. "Alice will find a way to drag his head out of his ass." His lips quirked into a grin, but it was stiff and humourless. He was putting up a brave front for her, but Louisa could see that he was just as worried as she was.
Louisa snuggled into Jasper's chest and sighed when his arms tightened protectively around her. "Thank you for choosing me," she murmured into his shoulder.
Jasper kissed the top of her head. "It's me that should thank you," he disagreed. "You have borne this relationship with far more grace than could be expected of a human. I know it's hard for you to understand what's happening between us at the moment, but I promise it will make sense soon."
"After you change me," she translated.
He pulled back to look at her face. "This isn't permanent for you until I bite you," he reminded her gently.
It occurred to her that this was the second time Jasper had given her the option of refusing him. Louisa recalled the day she had learned about vampires. He had told her that he'd never bother her again if she wanted nothing to do with him. At the time, she hadn't really thought much about the offer—she had been a bit more focused on the fact that her sexy Spanish partner was in love with her and vampires were real. But with the context that Jasper would spend the rest of his existence as a hollowed-out shell of a man, to hear him offering it again…
She shook her head before kissing her wonderfully considerate, self-sacrificing, idiotic boyfriend. "There's no me without you," she said, echoing his earlier words. "I might not understand all of this vampire mumbo-jumbo, but I know how I feel about you. And maybe I don't love you as much as I could if I were a vampire. But that doesn't mean I don't love you as much as I can now." She pressed a searing kiss to his lips, eliciting something between a purr and a moan from her boyfriend. She shifted in his lap until she straddled his hips and took his face in her hands.
"You're mine, Jasper Whitlock," she whispered against his lips. "For now, and for the rest of eternity. You will always be mine."
At that moment, with Jasper staring at her with love in his beautiful golden eyes, his hands reverently holding her waist, she knew what she wanted.
There was nothing frenzied or desperate about her actions like they often tended to be when they found themselves in such a situation. This time, she was deliberate. She wasn't a slave to her passion or her lust. She knew exactly what she was doing as her hand slid down his chest and began to unbutton his shirt.
"Are you sure, my love?" Jasper asked as she purposefully unbuttoned her blouse, which joined his in a pile on her bedroom floor. He watched her with fascination and reached out to stroke her exposed collarbones. When she reached for his belt buckle, his eyes darkened.
Louisa smiled and nodded. "I want this. I want you. Do you?"
Jasper closed his eyes, and a deep growl rumbled through his chest. "Fuck yes," he said, burying his face in her neck and inhaling deeply. "Yes, please, ma'am."
Louisa had to laugh. Only her Victorian-aged boyfriend would remember his manners before they had sex. "I have no clue what I'm doing," she admitted.
Jasper kissed her chest, her neck, her jaw. "I'll take care of you," he promised.
"You always do," she whispered, running her hands across the silky skin of his broad shoulders. "I love you."
He regarded her with a thoughtful expression, his lips pursing and his brow furrowing. She slid a hand up to his face, smoothing out the wrinkles. He opened his mouth when her fingers ghosted over his lips, catching her index finger between his teeth and biting down on the soft flesh. Not with enough pressure to break the skin. Never with enough pressure to hurt her. His eyes were black and hooded, yet they held such tenderness that in that moment, Louisa thought her heart might burst. She could feel his love and devotion and something that just felt… right. Whole.
He released her a moment later, only to push her gently onto her back. He positioned himself to hover above her, his cool skin kissing her burning flesh, his blond hair falling like a curtain around them, his mouth covering hers.
"I love you, Louisa Collins," he breathed against her lips before showing her just how much he truly did.
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close." ― Pablo Neruda
A/N: As always, a huge thank you to my wonderful beta, Sam.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
