Aphex Twin - Goon Gumpas
July 19th, 1778
…
Today was… interesting. An interesting day.
Learned a bit about the murder, it's gruesome methods, yet I still feel I'm not tied into any of this. He's a nobody. To think nobody could do a lot of damage, be this menace. I leave the Jugend and can't get these thoughts away. I am struggling to, doing my best to let it go, and move on. I don't like to feel I'm useless, either, so that's why I'm active in this case. Johnny was a nobody too, before he became very well known around town. Well, known in the worst way possible. I think that's why I came back to Burmecia, to be known by the general populace. When I was at my worst, I'd go out to Lindblum's art museum. Worse than not picturing any of those paintings with the touch of my hands was hearing all those people call out the pieces I couldn't see as masterpieces.
I mean, what is there on a portrait that there is not on another? Input? You need input to do everything, to convey thoughts, a message, so do the people who call those artists and their paintings 'masterpieces'. What's so special about these that I couldn't figure out? Why couldn't I just leave my own opinion about it, without having to listen to someone, or in this case, a hundred folks gathered within a row, paying to see a painting forever hanging in a wall? I do enjoy art, there were some times when Father Irontail and I came to the museum, and he let me touch those paintings, statues, feel their volume, intensity, and dimension with my fingers. He would get the blame in my place, like always.
I have no one to blame but myself. No one to ever give input to me. Sigh, I hate having cynical thoughts. They don't do anything but make me feel bad. Just bad. Must be a thing from teenagers, but often I had thoughts of depreciation for someone else's work. It's like just because Lord Avon was born first and wrote 'I Want to be Your Canary' first that he is so well-regarded by the whole art and writing community. Only because he was the first one that the ones who came later have no chance, because their works will always be compared to the ones that came first. A piece inspired by Avon's masterpiece… those thoughts I had, they were so dumb. Really dumb, and not worth recalling.
Do you recall? Or haven't you noticed which street you're walking on? Yes, that's the place. The scent, the rain, the nivelation of the road…
…
Five years ago…
…
Could there be greater irony as a bird that cannot fly? Maybe a kingdom of rats. So, Hrist met her first chocobo. Choco, she said. How cute, despite almost being run over by that thing. That huge golden fluffy thing. Funny, this bird does not look as huge as they used to when I was a kid. Hmmm, this very chocobo we came across reminds me a bit of Doyle, and how I used to eat his ratio. Tasted awful, but Doyle was the closest thing I ever had to a dog… He was there when father was not. I still have his last remaining feather at the top of my hat. Father's hat, too.
— Kweh! – The chocobo made that sound, as Hrist tried to reach for it. She wanted to hug Choco before he left.
— Bye, Choco! – All she did was say and wave goodbye. Choco walked away, pulling a carriage behind. He didn't look back at the girl, no matter what. – I wonder if he saw me wearing those, uh…
— Blinders? That's how these things blocking Choco's view are called by. – So I began to explain to Hrist that Choco didn't avoid looking at her because he was mean, of course not. – Lots of chocobos have blinders on so they can only see what's in front of them. Ain't no different from folks who only want to see what they want to, kid.
— Sigh You tellin' me a blind man is the happiest of all men? Happier than anyone else who sees with their eyes? My, you're pretty boring for someone with holes for eyes, Fratley! – One thing I like about Hrist is her spontaneity, even if it may sound like an insult. – (Dare call me kid again, smartypants).
— I do have eyes, Hrist. I'd say the blind man sees the best of all. Anyway… what I meant to say earlier is that everyone's blind to himself. I'm not judging them, to have some blinders on is what helps us get through life, stay focused, healthy, happier…
— Are you happy, Frat? – Hrist asked, holding that very ball she went after, before… luckily, she met Choco, and that's all that happened, thank God. – You look worried, like you know something I do not. Wanna play some ball with me?…
/\/\_/\_/\/\/\_
— … No worry, I won't kick your crotch this time. Unless yer asking for it…
/\/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_
— … My, where are my manners? You were kind enough to not yell at me… Stupid ball, almost got me done for…
/\/\_/\/\_/\/\/\_
— … next time, I'll look at the two sides of the street… I'm sorry…
_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_/\_
— … Hey, are you listening to me? Fratley?
— You asked if I was happy? Why, Hrist… I wish I had a few clear visual memories, but with you at my side, knowing you are fine, sure I am happy!
…
