Yasunori Mitsuda - The Sky, Clouds And I


July 19th, 1778

Afternoon

The blindness men wish for.

— … Uh, Frattie?

— What's it, Raymie?

— I don't understand this game. – For a while, Raymie had been scratching its head. He and his brothers, we're all sitting on the table, playing a card game. – How do we play it?

— I wonder. – It ain't my first time playing Tetra Master, but still… – A friend of mine said that he won a Tetra Master round by mere luck.

— Luck? – That was Ingus, the oldest of the brothers. I can tell he's old because of the voice. – I'd rather throw dice.

— You're the one who wanted to play this game. – Poor Archie. Still have not figured out how to play it. I can't blame him.

— Now I do not. It's so boring. Boring like you, brother. – As for the attitude, Ingus is just a kid.

— Your brother isn't boring. – I said, as if it's offensive to call someone boring in the same way as a jerk. Go figure that out…

— But he is.

— He is not.

— He sure is. – A kid, confirmed. – Well, compared to you…

— Me? Am I boring?

— Hmmm… yeah. Ain't I right? – I can agree that some adults are boring. Adult me? I'm not even that old. I'm only twenty.

— Well, can a boring guy tell you that you have ten golden coins of gil, a piece of chocolate and a ripped button on your left pocket, Ingus?

— Hey! – I love each of their expressions. Even knowing what I'm able to do, Ingus is that surprised. – How did you!

— I can smell better than anyone, kids. My, how boring I am…

— Yeah. If Fratley smelled anything else inside your pants, Ingus. – To hear this coming out of Raymie…

— That was rude, Raymie. – I feel his sudden trembling. It's a thing I hate to feel, that I can't ignore with my senses.

— Oh, sorry.

— My chocolate… – Said Danny. He's been a bit quiet. If putting his sneezing aside.

— Here, Danny. Take a bite. – Ingus took a piece of chocolate from his pocket, and gave it to Danny. He did it with a confident smile on face.

— My chocolate… you ate it.

— You gave it to me, remember?

— Mom gave me chocolate.

— Yeah, she did. But in this state, can you really eat a whole bar of chocolate, Danny?

— You eat chocolate.

— Uh huh. But you gave it to me.

— No I did not.

— Geez… is the cold messing with your brains too?

— Please don't be mean with your brother, Ingus. He's sick. – It's just a cold, but how much of a debilitating cold for a kid. – You should take care of Danny.

— Me, always me… Why can't anyone else?

— I ain't old. You are! – Archie said, comparing his cards to the ones belonging to Raymie.

— To think we were born on the same day…

— Ingus, did you steal the chocolate from Danny? – I asked, still holding my deck of cards. If this was poker, I would be having a Royal Flush in my hands.

— No, Fratley. I swear I didn't. Danny gave it to me. He didn't want to eat it all.

— Why did Danny only give it to you, fat? – Outraged, Archie shouted at Ingus.

— Call me fat again, you jester! – To which Ingus laid his little hands on the table. He can't do much with these, not when I am nearby.

— Jester? You don't even know what that means.

— It's what you and Raymie are! – Ingus shouted. A brief moment of silence follows, interrupted by Danny's coughs.

— Is that what happens when we eat too much sugar, Fratley? – Archie asked me. I wonder if sugar can make you angry. Abstinence, perhaps, which ain't the case.

— We know Ingus ain't that sweet. – Raymie said, laying his cards on the table. – See, I got a Dragon, a Goblin and a Skeleton. What do I do with these?

— Can I say anything? – Ingus looked at everyone, with crossed arms. I wonder what he had to say, but I know it was no good.

— Yeah, where Ingus steps, grass no longer grows.

— You're exaggerating, kids. – I miss when I used to talk about whatever I felt like, without having any worries.

— Tell me, Ingus… why did you give a bit of Danny's chocolate back to him? – Asked Archie. I could listen to Ingus' heartbeat, but I don't want to say that he's a liar. Besides, it has already been proven that he did something wrong, can't say anything else.

— Because I did not want to eat it. – Kids and their excuses…

— Why, you!… Taking advantage of Danny. Just look at him!

— You say it as if you haven't already told Danny to pick up the kite stuck on a tree. On a storm.

— That was before he got sick.

— Does that make any difference?

— It does. Danny wanted to help. Now it's time for us to help him out.

— Look! Danny didn't even eat the bit of chocolate I gave him…

— If I were in Danny's place, neither would I!. – I wonder when this card game became something else. Meanwhile, I just listen to Archie and Ingus discussing with each other – Sheesh… You could have divided the chocolate for us if Danny didn't want to, but no! You're fat, think with the stomach!

— He called me fat again, Fratley. – Only now they acknowledge my presence.

— Archie is right. Taking the fat bit away, I mean…

— Heh, cutting the fat.

— Archie! – I hope I haven't increased the tone of voice that much. Nothing can be solved with shouts. – Well, Ingus, your brother is right at saying you could have divided the chocolate between each of your brothers.

— My… Don't you see, Fratley? Why did Ingus give back the chocolate for Danny? He's laughing at his face!

— No I'm not!

— Yes, you are!

— I'm not! Y'all wanted a bite of that, didn't ya?

— Better than keeping it all to yourself, fool!

— Me, a fool?

— Yeah, a fool. Isn't Ingus a fool, Fratley? – Danny's chin is burning. Uh, did someone call me? Was it Ingus, or… oh, it's Archie.

— He ain't a fool.

— But Fratley!… – At the moment, I'm giving all my attention to Danny.

— Danny, did you want the chocolate? – I asked him. When I was young, I had a fever. You can't feel any scent, and no taste. For someone blind, the senses are everything.

— Mom gave me chocolate. I like chocolate. Ingus like chocolate too. – Danny ain't blind. Well… not in the same way as I am.

— Hey, I like chocolate as well! Why didn't you give a bit to me? – Archie won't give up. – Or Raymie? Hey, Raymie! You heard me?

— I can't eat chocolate.

— Why not? Does your face get swollen like a frog's?

— No. I broke my teeth with chocolate once.

— Did you? I broke mine with an apple soft as butter.

— Archie, you're so clumsy that you broke your nose falling on your back. – Poor Danny, his head is boiling. Oh, was that Ingus talking to Archie? Wait, which one's who?

— And you are a chocolate thief! – That's Archie, uh huh.

— Oh, come on! Let it go, and move on. – And that's Ingus, trying to get away from responsibility. Kids… – Now you'll say that I have to hug Danny.

— Ingus hugs like a snake if you ask him to. – Raymie said to me, to which he took all breath to himself. Wait, is he running out of air, or… – I WON!

— You won? How so!? – I think I should put Danny to bed. Oh, and Ingus gasped. – Raymie, you cheater!

— I'm no cheater! I mean, Grand Dragon eats Goblins, right? And Goblins eat, uh…

— That's not how you play the game! In fact, nobody knows how to play it. So why are we playing anyway?

— I know, but it's lots of fun this way. Don't you agree, Fratley? – Raymie asked me. I think I'm having a deja vu.

— Well… having fun is better than having nothing at all. Don't you think?

— A-ACHO! – Danny's sneeze pulled some Tetra Master cards away from the table.

— Bless you. – All that phlegm came from within one's throat…

— Thanks, Frattie. – Danny called me Frattie. I'm flattered. Guess he learned with his brothers.

— Eugh! Gross! It's yellow. – Speaking of his brothers, Archie and nobody else wants to play with the cards. – whoa, Danny! Where did you get that cold?

— I… I don't know.

— Alright, buddy. Time to rest. – Danny's already falling asleep before I could even pick him up.

— It's what happens when you keep poking the nose too much. – I heard it from Ingus.

— Funny, I haven't seen you with diarrhea, Ingus. – Was it Raymie? Archie? All my senses mix up with Danny's heat.

— Uh, Frattie… you forgot the cane.

— Did I? Have no worries, I can walk without it.

— But if you fall…

— I would never, not while holding you. – Or holding to the handrail, in this case. My, having another deja vu, Mr. Irontail? I guess.

I put Danny to sleep on his bed. I take a time to hear his lungs. The acid in his stomach, the blood circulating on his veins… he'll be fine. Just a cold, nothing to worry about. I thought that bringing Danny to play with the brothers at the table would make him feel better. Being all alone in this room, in this darkness, it ain't good. Now that Danny knows he isn't alone.

— Gosh, what a waste of time! – As I come downstairs, I hear the boys shouting to each other.

— It ain't no waste of time. Wanna give up?

— I don't. Not for a loser.

— Hey, I'm no loser!

— Archie, my dear brother… You're such a loser that if you went in a loser contest, you would end in second place!

— Why not first?

— It's because you're a LOSER!

— Fratley! Ingus called me a loser! – I can't tell who's who. Their body temperatures are almost the same.

— Don't yell, kids. Danny fell asleep. – It doesn't matter, there should be a little bit of order in this house.

— How did he get that cold? – Raymie is worried about his brother.

— Who knows? I don't wanna get that bad. – So does Ingus. Kinda.

— Danny.. he was so healthy yesterday. Fratley? – Archie has no idea how his brother got that sick.

— It's the flu, boys. Spreads quickly on air and has no mercy on anyone.

— Good afternoon! – I can tell that sweet and raspy voice belongs to April.

— Mom! – A tall figure surrounded by little whirlwinds, holding a basket in one arm heavy as Phoebe in another.

— You've brought the bread I like, mom? – Ingus raised his hands to the basket. I hope he has cleaned his hands and toes.

— Uh huh.

— Let's see. – Ingus should clean his hands. Other than that, I feel every single scent coming out of the basket. – Eggs, bread, cheese, cookies. Chocolate cookies. Five oranges, apples… Six apples?

— Am I supposed to be open mouthed? – April stares at me, so do the boys. Phoebe opened her mouth to let a yawn come out.

— Well, aren't you? Is that mint in your breath?

— Why… yes. – An icy, freshy breath.

— Mint, mom? Do ya have bad breath, mom? – Asked Raymie, to which his mother stared with an ugly face. Not at the boy, but at me instead.

— A woman has its secrets. – I leave the stairs to help April out. She's been carrying a lot of weight from the market until home. Everything's on the table.

— … A pot bottle filled with water… – Which could've been filled with seltzer water, tea, or lemon juice.

— Why, taking a guess? – How so, April? I didn't even touch the bottle…

— I do not take guesses. I just smelled what's inside. It's water.

— When since ever water smells?

— It does. Not for you, normies! – CRUNCH! I take a bite of the apple. I also love that expression on April's face.

— Fratley, you silly! There's no need to impress me with your abilities. – How do I describe it? MUNCH!… A frown for anger, a curve for a smile, that's the best I came up with.

— I need to. Or else, you would be very disappointed.

— Disappointed with what?

— By living with a blind man.

— Oh, sure. With the way you show off yourself, who remembers about your deficiency? – April knows how to put sense in one's head. – Now kids, why don't you go play outside?

— Uh, play? – I feel worryness in Raymie's voice. – But you said…

— Play with responsibility.

— You heard your mom, buddy. – I haven't noticed the state of Raymie's legs for a while. Guess it's because I have nothing to worry about, he's fine.

— Yeah, as long as we are not idiots like Raymie. – Ingus, Ingus… he's a hard type.

— Don't call your brother an idiot.

— Yes, Fratley! – So Ingus ran away, following Archie outside. The door is open, but Raymie refuses to go.

— Ingus called me an idiot, mom.

— He didn't want to.

— But what I did…

— You won't do it again, right?

— Right. Hey mom, my legs are healing! – Yes, the legs. Full of leech bites. For a kid who lost so much blood these days, Raymie seems a lot excited.

— Good to know. Wait, did I said good? Oh, that's amazing!

— O-Okay mom! Mom… That's enough, mom! You can get off me already! I feel fine! – Kids and their parents, hugs and kisses…

— So do I. Come on, you can go outside and play for a while.

— I heard you, mom. See you later!

— Later! – Now there's only Phoebe for April to care about. Yet, something in her eyes and heartbeat changes. – Is hearing me enough? I mean, what prevents Raymie from doing what he did again, if not worse?

— The boy cares about you as much as you do with him. It's just that he doesn't know how to express it.

— He could just say "I love you, mom".

— Deep inside, your kids are willing to say it.

— So, why don't they? Is it because they feel sentimental while saying so?

— The many was we can express love to someone, April… – There's a garden outside the window. I throw what's left from the apple I ate there. Could it be a sign of love for nature?

— Want some cheese bread? – To feed someone might be tied to love. Might be.

— My favorite. – April apple pineapple… I could make a tongue twister. – Still warm? Let me guess…

— Yes. It's warm bread, out of the bakery. Anyone with a nose could tell.

— So… What happened at the Jugend?

— Nothing special. One of my students passed the first training, and that's it. – I don't like to talk about my work to April. What stays at work should stay at work.

— That's good.

— Like this bread. Did you know there's another way to tell if a bread is good or not? — I took a piece of bread out of the basket. I can already tell by the slight touch of hands, its texture, the softness inside, that it's a good bread . – All you have to do is squeeze it, slightly. You can hear the crunchiness. Here, have a piece.

— Thanks. – I offered a piece of bread to April, to which she offered me, eh… a baby. – Here, have her in exchange.

— Alright… – There's no such unpleasant thing as holding a baby in your arms. For a guy with senses as I, having something like a baby very close is… not bad, though. Phoebe is fine, smells like gardenias in the wind, her tiny heart beating a lot. I think it has to do with her heart and mine, I don't like hearing both hearts and being uncertain for a lot of time.

— Know what I heard from Melissa? – Meanwhile, April is working around the kitchen, cleaning Danny's mess, making coffee, frying cheese bread, and patting Phoebe's head. It's surprising how much she can do by herself. – My sister told me that in her neighborhood, instead of meals, the merchants are selling bones. Raw bones, like the ones you give to dogs, being sold to people. Can you believe it?

— I can't. Who would be desperate enough to eat a bone?

— Who indeed? I blame the government for the lack of effort at distribution.

— The government isn't the only one to blame. Tell me, where does your sister live?

— There's not enough meat available to buy around the hills. No one can afford it all. – April said, holding her sobs. – Yes, sis lives in the Thames hills, one of those Burmecian slopes you can barely walk up without almost letting the rain pull you down.

— I see. Urban waterfalls, that's how they are called. – I said.

— Those slopes really pull you down, let me tell you. I say it as a kid who got inside a wooden cart and got pulled by her brothers down the hill. It was fun, like riding on a comet, before I clashed against a wall.

— You clashed against a wall? – I'm impressed. April ain't a knight or anything like… she was a child, right? – how did you survive?

— Children do have twice the guardian angels as we grown ups have. – April takes a seat at the table. Phoebe is too quiet, they both had quite a day. – Well, I lived in that place, people still live there, no excuse for having no meat, because I got injured and I had the finest meal ever. Onions boiled together with an Ironite steak followed by a lettuce so crunchy…

— Like this bread?

— Yes. You know something's good for you when you can hear the noise of how good it is in your mouth. – I listen to April's words, followed by a carrot taken to pieces bite by bite, reduced into something slimy and… – Fratley, don't you dare…

— Sorry. I can't avoid it, not after what you said.

— I know when you're hearing something you don't want to. Know how?

— How? – April stared at me. I picture the deep stare of a croc in the lake.

— You wiggle your ears. Everytime you hear something gross.

— Do I? – Wiggle wiggle… Guess I do. So does little Phoebe at arms.

— Look, Phoebe wiggled her ears.

— Sir Fratley. – Sigh… That croc is about to bite me, am I right? Nah, April doesn't. – With those senses of yours, at least you can tell if my food is poisoned or not, fresh or rotten… instead, you use them to spoil the fun. Not that I mind. I wonder, what does water smell like?

— Well… – How I will tell it in a simple way, without working around and getting her confused? Don't worry, I'll find a way to, but I can't say I will not sound too intellectual. – Indeed, water has a scent. It's hard to tell, because there is no such thing as pure water. There is, but it's hard to find. Depending on where it came from, if the source to a bottle of clay, water holds of so many elements, like earth, and earth shares so many tiny elements, like iron, dead animals, and have you ever heard of elements? It's a new talk around Lindblum, something about every life, everything in this world and universe is composed of elements, the basic ones being… Well, they're yet to be called a name, because they do exist, we are made of these elements, if not even tinier elements, like a neighborhood inside a town, a town inside a city, a city inside a kingdom, a kingdom…

Pant pant pant… I need some coffee.

— Wow. That's a lot more complicated than I thought. – Said April, who barely looks impressed by what I said.

— It is. I'm out of air, but there's air around me. – I explained further. Do I have a point? I don't think so. – Lungs work with the exchange of airs, you inhale and exhale. The plants as well. See that willow outside? It's breathing. Someone from Daguerreo, those guys are really smart, proposed that the plants do breathe, they have breathing patterns like us, but their air exchanges are the opposite of the one we have. Like, have you ever felt healthier near a tree, or walking at a park?

— Yes?

— Well, that can be explained by the plants taking our exhaled breath by inhaling it as they do, and exhaling the air we inhale. I know, it's complicated, but it won't be as soon as we come up with names for these 'airs'. There's more than oxygen in the air we breathe. Imagine if all plants were called the same name, if every red petal was called rose. Things wouldn't work like they should, but they already do. It's just that we haven't come up with different names.

— Even if our goal is to be equal. – I like April's single way of seeing things in contrast to mine. – By being different, everyone is equal, don't you think?

— Yeah, sure. – I said. Coffee's pretty good. – Do you know what Gaia's most expensive coffee is made of?

— Poo?

— Really? How did you guess?

— I knew you'd say something gross. – April and her sixth sense…