Brian Eno - Sparrowfall


On the way to the Jugend, the kids and I had some, uh… interesting conversation.

— Tell me, Fratley, how are babies born? – I'm yet to answer that to Raymie.

— Well… – Dear God, how am I supposed to do this? Think, Mr. Iron-Tail. Think… – Think about your mother. She's the only one who can grow a baby inside her. Uh… your mother has a place inside with everything needed in order to breed a child. It's called uterus, and only women have these.

— I see. How did mom get a belly so huge when Phoebe was inside her? I mean, mom has a stomach too, right?

— That's right. An uterus is a very special organ. It enlarges as the baby grows. – I can't believe I'm having this conversation. What I feel right now must be what my father felt when he answered my questions.

— Like an egg?

— Yes! Like an egg, though not quite so. Burmecians don't lay eggs. – I said. Why am I imagining April sitting over a huge egg?

— So, is it like a balloon?

— Yes. Kinda like a balloon filled with liquid that protects the baby and facilitates the exchange of nutrients from mother to baby.

— Ok… I think I get it. – Raymie scratched his head by hearing such complicated words. – Fratley, how does the baby eat if he has no mouth? I mean, they are not babies yet, are they?

— Indeed. Before you came to be a baby, you were an embryo which later developed into a fetus. – I said. To think one day we all were tiny little cells dividing and multiplying of size, but that's a talk for another day… – See your belly?

— I do.

— Well, Raymie… Before you had a belly, there was an umbilical cord that connected you to your mother. All of you. With this cord, you were supplied with all kinds of nutrients through the bloodstream shared by you and mom.

— You tellin' we sucked the blood out of mom? - Ingus said. Wait a minute…

— No, that's not-

— Are babies vampires!? That explains why Phoebe keeps biting us. – Archie said. That's so silly.

— Your sister isn't a vampire, please. – Eventually we all shared a laugh together. I'm trying my best at being clear and cohesive to the kids. I must not show any kind of discomfort while talking about something that… natural. Yes, the miracle of birth may be beautiful and natural, but it's also pretty damn disgusting. I don't want to talk about that.

— Fratley… how did the baby come inside mom? – And that was the question brought by Raymie that I haven't answered yet. Why is it so hard?

— Your mom didn't have all of you by herself. You see, you had a father, and without him, without your mom… they needed one another to have all of you.

— Why?

— Well, Raymie… when Burmecians love each other, they stay together and they might end up raising a family.

— Why?

— Eh… it's a thing only adults know. Only adults can have babies.

— Why do only adults have babies?

— Well…

— Why? – Raymie has a lot of questions in mind. I wonder if I alone can answer them all.

— Uh… – My tongue got stuck for a moment, but I think I can do it. – It's a huge responsibility to take care of kids. The kind of responsibility adults are so aware of. I mean, it's easy to bring life to this world, like burying a seed on earth and waiting for the tree to grow, but when it comes to raising a tree, taking the bugs away from its leaves, watering the plants everyday… It's hard, but you get used to it.

— How did I come inside mom? – Did Raymie hear anything I said before? He's a little insistent guy, isn't he?

— Your father… he carried on the seeds and planted those on your mother.

— Whose seeds? Was I a bean or something?

— Not really.

Oh my… How do I explain this? It's the moment I'm mostly uncomfortable with. I could be honest and tell all about cells and all we know so far from how life has begun and how one holds the keys for it to be brought. I could go through a mystical explanation with all kinds of weird terminologies or even more nostalgic words such as "birds and bees" so I don't say sperm. Sperm. There, I said it twice. It's just a word, is there any harm in saying a word?

— Fratley? – Raymie is waiting. Come on, you can do it. It's not that hard.

— Right… By seeds, I mean your father had one cell, called 'sperm', and your mother also had a cell, this time called 'ovule'.

— Ovule?

— Yes, ovule. – I feel like a teacher explaining all of this to the kids. – When the father's sperm and mother's ovule reunite in conception, they generate a fertilized cell we call 'egg'. The egg divides and divides itself, it's a wonderful process I'm willing to see again on the microscope, but anyway… Lots of things we don't know yet happen before an embryo comes to be a fetus, and from fetus to baby, and from a baby to a boy or a girl. You can have more than one egg fertilized, which explains the twins, triples, quadruplets you see around.

— Whoa… - Raymie is startled yet amazed, like his brothers.

I actually feel fine with how things went through. Raymie didn't ask such things as "how did the sperm get inside mom?" I think I'm not ready to answer such a question, but I'll do it if it's worrying one of my kids. One of my kids, gee… I feel like a duck, followed by yellow little ducks. But yeah, kids need more than a single lesson to fully integrate all that info. Doing an info-dump on a small child, one who you can't guide through their inevitable follow-up questions and confusion, is also a recipe for poor understanding and murky boundaries.

That is so much info to teach a child without a plan for helping them understand it. And hey, guess what? Situations like that can lead to them unintentionally crossing boundaries with other children, as they seek to explore and understand all that info without adequate guidance. It's awkward to have such talk, but honesty is a virtue. Ignorance leads to fear, and communication prevents abuse.

Mental reminder… Always teach proper names to body parts. If you are not willing to say penis, at least be clear that you are talking about the privates. While it may be embarrassing to have him shout 'penis' instead of 'weenie' inappropriately, it'll happen regardless. You don't come to a doctor and say your 'boogie oogie' is hurt, he won't understand. And the thing about listening to kids is that most of us do not take them seriously at all.

What is in my mouth?… It's your uvula, kiddo…

Where did my fart come from?… That's your butt or bottom, hon…

There's something on weenie… That's your scrotum. Some people call it your balls…

My dad was a good listener. Vincent Iron-Tail, the human father that took care of me after I lost my Burmecian father… and my vision. The world seemed so dark, and not because I was blind. Like, just because we know something does not mean someone else knows what we know. And kids are born without knowing, they learn with others. No such question is stupid and there are no idiotic answers, ignoring a few politics. Lack of communication, that's what happens. So yes, the moral of the story is that even with a well-intentioned anatomy lesson, kids will still misinterpret things, but to not say anything at all is even worse.

Enough being preachy. No one's listening…

— I don't get this statue. – I heard Ingus talk, as we stood before a statue in the middle of a square. – Two angels but they only have one wing each.

— One winged angel? – I can 'see' the statue's silhouette by hearing the surface levels in which rain hits. That's how I see buildings, people moving around and myself. I also see everyone and everything by the smell, which gives me a picture of how things look. The tips of my fingers can also feel any texture. Anything better than darkness.

— Yeah, ain't that weird? I thought angels had two wings for each.

— They usually do, Ingus. But, according to an old Burmecian legend, God could have created humans perfectly… But then, humans would not have helped each other.

— Is that why God made us rats?

- That's not the point, Archie. – I hope the kids do not miss the deeper meaning and beauty of it. – You see, those one winged Burmecian angels, they were made this way so, in order to fly, they are dependent on one another.

— Hah! Forcing them to fly together? It would be less bothersome if they could fly on their own! – Yep, Ingus lost completely the deeper meaning of this.

— The left looks like a man, and the right is a woman. Weird, isn't it? I heard angels didn't have pee pees. – Said Raymie, laughing.

— These angels are clearly distinguishable as having opposing genders. Man and woman, together to help one another. – I said, aware of the great symbolism told by this statue. There are not many people around this square, which is good for my hearing. I'd hate to… – Sniff sniff… sniff.

— What are you smelling, Fratley? – Rayme asked. – Is it a pie?

— Why would Fratley be smelling a pie right now?

— He looks so concentrated, Ingus. It's as if he knew that very smell. So it must be a pretty pie!

Blood… It can't be. That amount of blood I smell is sickening as the voices gathered around the corpse. His skin is all covered in dentations made by a scalpel. Usually I could not tell it by this distance, but the holes were carved so deep beneath the skin that rain falls and… God.

— Stay here, kids. – I follow that scent, which leads me to an alley surrounded by all kinds of people.

— Lord… I wanna puke. – Said a Royal Guard on duty.

— It says 'Cuttooth was here'. – Another Guard pointed to a wall tainted in blood, which belonged to the victim.

— Who's Cuttooth? Is he the murderer? – A passerby asked.

— I know him! – A lady looked at the corpse, still freshy and covered in a coat. – Lefty Donovan! He had a stalwart on his index finger.

Pieces of stalwarts are found near the body, together with fingers cut like sausages. A Guard can't take it and pukes. I hear people talk between cries of a terrible power...

— It's that freak again! The one who mutilates people and gets rid of their 'defects'!

/\/\_/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\_

— The one who killed Johnny's wife?

— Johnny Foster… Could it be? He was my neighbor.

— One more… When will this end!?

— My husband… Dead…

— Bled to death.

— Another victim of teenage crimewave.

— How can you be sure?

_/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\_/\/\_/\/\/\/\_

— This feels like a delinquent's doing. Whoever did this, it's not normal.

— Normal? As if being stabbed a hundred times in the chest is normal.

— Another victim… Where is the King?

— Does this concern our Majesty? It sure does!

— Who can tell our kids are safe? It could have been my boy…

— Why!? WHY!? WHY HIM!? WHY WHY…

— What does the King have to say? Where is he? We've been waging war against Alexandria for centuries, when we have our own troubles…

/\/\/\_/\/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\/\/\/\_

— I want to kill this freak. Whoever did this is dead. Utterly dead. Please… Vitality before violence to hell with monarchy! What has the King done for us?

So many voices, or is it one voice!?... I'm losing control of my senses… Can't stay here….

_/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\/\/\/\_

— Is there any safety? Kill this Cuttooth so he does not kill our kids kill yeah let's kill him before he kills us all DEAD DEAD DEAD FUCK THE MONARCHY FUCK THE KING AND EVERYTHING RARAWARARARAWARARARAEEEEEEEEEOOOHHH!

This… This is getting out of control… All those exploding heartbeats and sniveling noses and sobbing eyes… and I feel like it's my fault! My fault…

— You okay, Fratley? – In the middle of this chaos, I hear a familiar voice.

— Raymie?

— What's happening, Frat? – Raymie asked, confused as his brothers.

— Nothing. Let's go to the Jugend. – Slowly I recover my hearing and equilibrium. This does not concern any of the kids. They will be safe, I swear. – Who wants to see how a Dragoon jumps?

— I want to! I want to! – Archie began to jump joyfully.

— Me too! – Same for Raymie.

— I want to see a Dragoon in training! – Ingus is excited. So we head for the Jugend, leaving the crime scene behind. I'm having some time with the family that won't be ruined that easily. However, if I don't do anything, these streets will soon be filled with more blood and anarchy.