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Chapter: 3


Why was it so hard to find a place to live? Shirou had been wandering the streets of Axle for the entire morning and had no luck getting anyone to rent him a room. Plenty of homes were available for purchase, but unfortunately, while Shirou had made money killing toads and finishing his first quest, he didn't have enough to buy. So, for reasons Shirou couldn't fathom, every time he went into an establishment, they took one look at him and said, 'Nope.'

They never let Shirou open his mouth half the time! Not that it would have helped if they did. Rin often pointed out that Shirou couldn't talk his way out of a paper bag. Shirou always found that quite rude of her, thinking he was a decent communicator. When Shirou raised that point to Rin, he only received a condescending pat on the cheek, and she told him to prove it. Never one to take things lying down, Shirou jumped at the opportunity. But, alas, Shirow's abysmal luck stat (now a real thing if his guild card could be believed) struck again.

Honestly, how he happened to be at the top of Big Ben at the same time someone decided to try jumping from the roof. It begged belief. It had been a stressful situation for all parties. Still, after Shirou tried explaining how much the person had to live for, like community service, self-sacrifice, and servitude towards the millions of people suffering in the world, they stopped wanting to talk and jumped. Fortunately, Shirou proved fast enough to catch the person before they fell. Unfortunately, they had to be locked up in a padded room and had somehow managed to drive their therapist into depression when they discussed the man who stopped them from jumping.

Shirou was forced to take the L on that one.

Deciding he'd had enough, a dejected Shirou entered the guild with the late afternoon sun shining at his back. Stomach growling, Shirou waved at Luna before sitting at an empty table in the near-deserted dining area. Lunch had long since ended, and the dinner rush had yet to start, so a blushing waitress quickly took Shirou's order, and the food appeared ten minutes later.

Shirou could readily admit that he found the food impressive and unique compared to everything he had eaten in the past. He enjoyed sampling the different cuisine so much that he ordered several other meals, and they filled the table with a delectable array of aromas that made his stomach growl even louder.

"Wow, that smells fantastic. But, say, you aren't going to eat all that, are you? Seems like too much for one person."

Someone interrupted Shirou right before he took his first bite of a delightful armadillo ragu with a surprisingly powerful kick.

Looking up, Shirou froze with his fork halfway to his mouth. Standing at his table, drooling, was Aqua, the Goddess who had sent him to the world two days before.

"Aqua! Quit harassing people already!" A boy with brown hair wearing a green tracksuit said before slapping the Goddess on the back of the head.

So surprised, Shirou didn't even react as she clasped the back of her before rounding on the boy.

"I didn't get to have breakfast today and missed lunch because you made me come down here. So now you can't even buy me lunch? you useless NEET!"

"If I had known you'd be this much of a pain in the ass, I wouldn't have chosen you to come with me! So why don't you just go back home and leave me alone?"

"I told you, I can't go back until you." Aqua poked the boy in the chest. "Defeat the Devil King." That proved enough to knock Shirou from his stupor, and before they could continue arguing, he stood up and separated the two panting individuals.

"Ok, that's enough shouting. Aqua, I guess I owe you for sending me here, so please feel free to eat anything you want."

Shirou waved a hand at his table with a kind smile. Aqua didn't hesitate, throwing her arms around Shirou happily. She sat down and began to ravenously tear at the food.

"You...You're from Earth." The boy said, sounding shocked before he also collapsed into a chair.

"Oi, Kazuma, no touching. He only said I could eat." Aqua said through a mouthful of fried toad, glowering at the Kazuma as she did.

Shirou scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

Aqua was different from the regal figure he remembered meeting only a few days prior. In fact, the title 'Goddess' seemed so far removed that Shirou considered, for the first time, whether he had dreamed up the entire encounter.

"Shut up, you worthless Goddess." Kazuma hissed while glancing around himself and, for the first time, realized how much attention they were getting. Flushing a deep red, Kazuma sank deeper into his seat.

Kazuma understood he and Aqua got a bit loud, but the glares they were both getting from the waitresses and the lady at the guild counter seemed a little extreme.

Sitting beside Aqua and across from Kazuma, Shirou awkwardly waved at the other boy.

"My name's Shirou. I'm guessing you're here from Earth as well."

Kazuma nodded and seemed to perk up slightly.

"Yeah, I died trying to save a girl's life, and the next thing I know, I'm sitting in front of Aqua."

Shirou sat up straighter, sensing he found a fellow Hero of Justice who dedicated himself to the service of others without regard for simple things like wealth and personal well-being.

"Please, you had a heart attack after breaking a girl's leg because you thought a lawn mower moving at ten kilometers an hour ran you over. It didn't even touch you!" Aqua giggled as she happily regaled Shirou on the truth behind Kazuma's demise.

Kazuma's eye twitched violently, gripping the seat of his chair tightly, resisting the temptation to reach over and start strangling a chortling Aqua.

"And as you can see," Kazuma said through clenched teeth. "I brought Aqua as my heavenly gift to help me defeat the Devil King."

Kazuma's haunted eyes stared into Shirou's.

"It's only been three hours, but I already know bringing her is the greatest mistake of my life."

Aqua took offense but had too much food in her mouth to verbally express her displeasure, so she settled for an inappropriate hand gesture. Finally, getting to the point where she could swallow, Aqua quickly shifted the blame.

"It's not my fault we can't register. I mean, you're the one who didn't bring any money."

"I died on Earth. How am I supposed to have currency from this place!"

Aqua stuck her nose in the air.

"Sounds like a 'you' problem to me."

Shirou decided he needed to defuse the situation again before Aqua and Kazuma started screaming at each other.

"Why don't you go kill some monsters? Then, if you bring back the body as proof, the guild will pay you for the materials. It's what I did when I got here a couple of days ago."

"You've only been here a couple of days!"

Both Aqua and Kazuma looked incredulous as they looked Shirou up and down. His gear looked way too impressive for a newbie adventurer. And like a lightbulb going off in Aqua's head, she suddenly remembers.

"You're that crazy guy!" Aqua said, pointing accusingly at Shirou while scrabbling out of her seat to the one next to Kazuma.

Shirou huffed. Everybody always called Shirou's dreams crazy. They didn't understand the majesty of wanting to save everyone, regardless of their circumstances or viewpoints. So he didn't differentiate between a baby in a carriage or a man wearing socks with sandals. Everyone deserved to be safe and happy.

"You should have seen him, Kazuma. As soon as I mentioned this world, this guy went crazy. He even picked me up and shook me, and my head hurt for hours afterward. The weirdo didn't even let me give him a heavenly gift before opening a gate here."

Kazuma definitely wouldn't hold shaking Aqua against Shirou, but the part about him not getting a gift sent his mind ablaze.

"Wait a minute, if Shirou didn't get some badass artifact, how did he slay any monsters?"

Shirou blinked.

"I'm a magus, of course."

"WHAT!?"

Aqua and Kazuma's unison shout drew all eyes back to their table, but unlike last time Kazuma didn't care.

"Your one of those freaks," Aqua said, looking horrified. "But you're all banned from limbo. So how were you even able to come before me?"

Aqua spoke the truth; if she were back in heaven, she would be severely punished for allowing a magus to come to Belzerg. The last and only time a magus had been sent to another world, he had ended up taking it over and becoming worse than the original demon who controlled it. Aqua shuddered. That world had gotten so bad that no gods could stand looking at it anymore. Last she heard, the magus had found a way to become immortal and had begun experimenting with teleporting to other planets. But she rarely thought about such things, though. After all, what were the odds of that happening anyway?

Shirou could only shrug at Aqua's question. It wasn't like he chose to appear before her when he died. It had just happened. Though he did find himself a bit curious about these Heavenly Gifts Aqua and Kazuma mentioned.

"Hold it!" Kazuma held his hands in a time-out. "You, Shirou, are from Earth, and you're telling me you're a friggin mage."

"Magus, but basically, yes." Shirou found himself confused. He had been assuming that Kazuma would be aware of the moonlit world. Who else could survive on a new planet and defeat the Devil King?

"I can't believe it, there were actual wizards on Earth, and I never knew."

A horrible realization came over Shirou. It seemed inevitable that Kazuma was average, but he had come to a horribly dangerous world to try to save it. A tear formed in Shirou's eye as he contemplated the bravery and self-sacrifice that Kazuma must possess to undertake such a task. Shirou heard trumpets playing in his head, and he stood abruptly and bowed to Kazuma.

"For you to come here, a normal person with no skills or talents of any kind...Truly you are a brave person. Please allow me to assist you by paying for your guild registration."

Kazuma didn't know whether to be insulted or relieved. Finally, he settled on, relieved. After all, Shirou wasn't precisely wrong about him not possessing any natural talents outside of video games.

"That would be really helpful, thank you."

"It's the least I can do. Let's go now since it looks like Aqua's finished eating."

Aqua groaned contentedly as she patted her swollen belly, and Kazuma was surprised to find the slight woman had managed to eat everything on the table. However, Kazuma's hunger had been forgotten, and he hopped to his feet to follow Shirou to the guild counter, Aqua trailing behind them both.

"Hey, Luna," Shirou said, smiling at the pretty blonde woman behind the counter.

"Could you please register these two? I'll cover the fee."

Kazuma practically turned green with envy when he saw Luna blush under the force of Shirou's smile.

'He's one of those damn handsomes.'

"O-of course Shirou. Are they friends of yours?"

Shirou rubbed the back of his neck, smile turning sheepish.

"We actually just met, but you know what they say? Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet."

Kazuma gawked at Shirou's back, embarrassed to even be associated with such a cliche saying. However, the embarrassment changed to teeth-gritting rage as Luna titted.

"You're so sweet, Shirou. Because it's you, I'll waive the registration fee as a gift to unmet friends."

'This world is more unfair than my last one!'

Kazuma raged internally as Luna retrieved the device used to measure a person's status.

"Now, which one of you wants to go first?"

"I will, naturally," Aqua said, nudging Kazuma to the side and placing her hand on the glass orb.

The machine sprung to life, and Shirou watched over Aqua's shoulder, curious about what kind of results a goddess would have. She didn't disappoint.

"My word! These stats are almost as impressive as Shirou's. Aside from your luck and intelligence, all your stats are high-level. Besides higher-tier wizard classes, you could pick anything you want, Ms. Aqua."

Aqua flipped her hair and rested her hands on her hips.

"Naturally, only the best class would suit someone as great and benevolent as myself. Therefore, I shall become an Arch Priest."

Luna's eyes shone happily as she confirmed Aqua's selection.

"An Arch Priest, the ultimate support class capable of buffing their allies and providing an array of healing skills, a truly benevolent choice, Ms. Aqua."

Shirou clapped happily as Aqua bounced in place, gazing happily at her guild card until it was Kazuma's turn to take her place before the counter.

"Man, I'm so pumped for this. I wonder what class I'll choose. Maybe a warrior? No, definitely a mage..." Kazuma's voice trailed off to indistinct mutters as Luna picked up his card and glanced at him sympathetically.

Shirou pulled a face. That probably didn't herald anything positive.

"Your stats are completely average," Luna said, bluntly laying out the facts. "Your intelligence is a little more impressive than most, and you have a tremendously high luck status, but I'm afraid that isn't very applicable for adventurers. I don't suppose you would be interested in becoming a merchant? With your fortune, you would be quite successful."

Aqua snicked as Kazuma's shoulders fell in despair.

It was far worse than Shirou had been anticipating. Opening his mouth, Shirou prepared to comfort Kazuma and encourage him to accept Luna's suggestion. However, before he could find the words, Kazuma stiffened his spine.

"I came to this crummy world with a dream. But just because my stats are low doesn't mean I'm going to give up on that. So, though my stats are garbage, I want to become an adventurer, please."

Shirou found himself moved by Kazuma's speech, and it seemed Aqua felt the same way. Nodding to Kazuma, her professional smile became kinder as she slid her finger along the card.

"Very well, as long as you work hard, I'll sure you'll improve your stats and be able to choose a more specialized class in no time."

Kazuma, with tears in his eyes, accepted his guild card. That action was the final straw for Aqua, who bent over double as gales of laughter began to escape.

"How embarrassing! And that speech, 'it's my dream.'" Aqua imitated Kazuma's voice. "Gods, I wish I had recorded that."

Shirou grimaced as Kazuma twirled around, eyes blazing as he karate-chopped Aqua on the head.

"You horrible Goddess!"


After Kazuma and Aqua registered, they and Shirou spent the rest of the day talking. Kazuma had been enamored at the idea of magecraft existing on Earth and inquired about the various mysteries of the moonlit world. Unfortunately for him, Shirou didn't happen to be a studied magus and knew little outside of what he considered necessary.

So, it proved a relief for Shirou when the inquiries dried up once Aqua expressed her boredom vivaciously. Unfortunately, drinks began to flow to appease Aqua, and the night started to get crazy as other adventurers began to appear. Shirou had gone up to bed once Kazuma and Aqua got on the table and began to sing Don't Stop Believing. Honestly. Who still sang to Journey of all people?

Getting another good night's sleep, Shirou woke up bright and early and left his room with a skip in his step.

"Good morning, Maria."

Maria waved at Shirou cheerfully. She was often the person who opened the guild, so Shirou had become friendly with her during the last few days.

"Morning Shirou, sleep well?"

"Like a baby."

"Excellent. Of course, you'll want breakfast, so sit down, and I'll bring something out."

Indeed, everyone was so kind in Axle.

Eating a hearty spread, Shirou wondered where Aqua and Kazuma were at. They had plans to meet up early to go on a quest together. But, to be transparent, Shirou didn't feel comfortable letting Kazuma go off with only Aqua to watch his back. While she chose to be a powerful healer, more than that would be needed to take out monsters.

"Hey Maria, have you seen the two I was with yesterday?"

"You mean the blue-haired girl and boy in the tracksuit?"

"That's them."

Shirou didn't appreciate the sly smirk that formed on Maria's lips as she turned and began to walk away.

"Come on, I'll take you to them."

Curious, Shirou followed her through a door marked staff only and down a torch-lit hallway. The brick walls didn't take long to turn into iron bars with heavy padlocks holding them closed.

"I'm afraid your friends drank too much last night."

Maria's mirth was plain to Shirou, who could only shake his head.

"I can see that."

Kazuma slept with his face buried in the dusty floor and his ass held high. Aqua was worse. Her skirt had flipped up and showed everything. Before Shirou tore his eyes from the tempting sight, he realized that her ass didn't compare to Rin's. It exceeded it in every way. Rin must never find out. Shirou's life depended on it.

"Could you wake them up, please?" Shirou asked through his hands.

Maria laughed, which served to not only express her merriment but also caused Kazuma and Aqua to stir.

Nobody liked waking up to a hangover. Aqua knew this, hence her determination to not open her eyes. Lamentedly, Kazuma, who never had drunk before last night, lacked her experience. Kazuma rolled over and sat up. He instantly regretted his choice as the room spun sickeningly.

"What happened?" Kazuma asked, pushing down the urge to vomit.

"You and Aqua went on a bender last night."

Shirou's voice reverberated in the small space, making Kazuma's head throb more than ever.

"Can you open the door, Maria?"

The sound of metal crashing sounded like a bomb to Kazuma, who whimpered.

Shirou walked in and began shaking Aqua until she could no longer ignore him and opened her bloodshot eyes.

Leaving Aqua to pull herself together, Shirou moved to Kazuma and pulled him to his feet, not realizing his mistake until the last minute.

Kazuma, in his inexperience, couldn't handle the sudden change from sitting to standing. His already pale face took on a green hue. Shirou's eyes widened, and he reinforced himself just in time. Throwing himself out of the cell, Shirou avoided the projectile vomit by a hair's breadth.

Aqua's rotten luck became known as she got a face full of the sick. She never stood a chance and puked herself, soaking Kazuma's pants from the waist down.

"Gods," Maria said, her nose wrinkled.

Shirou took a deep breath and instantly regretted it. Bringing a hand to his nose, Shirou turned to Maria.

"I don't suppose the guild has any clothes they could borrow?"

"I'll see what I can find."

Shirou grimaced and closed his eyes as he heard another splash behind him.

"I'd appreciate that."

After Kazuma and Aqua cleaned themselves up and changed into clean clothes, they met Shirou in the lobby, looking somewhat human.

Kazuma looked much more the adventurer he wanted to be in brown leather trousers, a white tunic, and a green mantle. Aqua had somehow ended up in an awfully similar blue dress that covered no more skin than the last one.

"Are you two feeling better?" Shirou asked once he saw them from where he was standing by the large quest board.

"I don't want to talk about it," Kazuma said, refusing to look at Aqua or Shirou.

Aqua stalked up to get in Shirou's face, eyes fierce.

"We never mention this. It never happened. Got it?"

Shirou swallowed, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple as he nodded.

Aqua smiled. An abrupt one-eighty from her previous intensity.

"Good."

Skipping past him, Aqua leaned forward to read the pieces of parchment tacked up, humming while she did.

"So, what quest are we taking?"

Shirou snapped from his stupor.

"I spoke with Luna earlier, and she recommended this one." Shirou reached up and tapped a quest with a drawing of a giant slug featured prominently. "It's something called a racer slug. Apparently, it's already starting to threaten the city's food supplies, so we need to destroy it quickly."

"That sounds perfect!" Kazuma said. "We need something easy to start leveling up."

"But the pay is so low." Aqua moaned. "An I'm a goddess, for goodness sake, this is so easy."

Kazuma, having none of it, pushed Aqua to the side and pulled the slug quest down.

"Yeah, well, we aren't all so strong now, are we? Besides, even if you are in an advanced class, neither of us has weapons, and if we want to level up, we can't let Shirou do all the fighting. So, let's go."


Despite the rough start, excitement made Kazuma's heart thumbed powerfully against his ribs.

He had been a shut-in most of his life, barely ever leaving his house unless necessary. Kazuma's life had been video games, anime, and manga. 2-D girls were his best girls. But not anymore. Kazuma now had the opportunity to become something extraordinary in a world he once only dreamed about.

However, while Kazuma resolved to be more heroic in this life, he didn't consider the physical requirements of doing so. Panting heavily, he could only watch Shirou increase the distance between him and Aqua every second.

"Hey, Shirou, can you slow down!"

"Can't do that. We've delayed long enough, and people are suffering!"

"Are we almost there, at least?"

"Yep, it should only be another kilometer from where it was last sighted."

Kazuma felt every step of that kilometer, and his legs shook terribly when they reached a tiny hamlet set amongst green hills.

"Finally." Kazuma wheezed while Aqua opted to collapse to her knees.

Still fresh as a daisy, Shirou happily waved at a farmer who had come out of his home to greet them.

"You lot here deal with the slug?"

The farmer's voice sounded rough as his face looked under the frayed straw hat he wore.

"We are. Can you point it to where you last saw it?"

"Can do you better than that. The beasty has a nest in a cave just over yonder." The farmer pointed with his chin to the east. "Not five hundred meters from this spot."

Shirou scrunched his eyebrows. He had been expecting something more challenging to find.

"If you know where it is, why hasn't anyone handled it until now? I thought these slugs didn't pose much threat to humans."

The farmer snorted and spat to the side. He couldn't afford to tell these adventurers why no one from the village dealt with the slug, or he'd scare them off.

"Aint none of your business. You gonna take care of it or not?"

Despite his confusion, Shirou nodded. The slug had to be destroyed to ensure enough food for the winter. So, putting aside the farmer's reluctance to communicate, Shirou turned to Aqua and Kazuma.

"Guys, it's hero time!"

Kazuma didn't like the gleam in Shirou's eyes. It reminded him of the time he'd been trapped by Jehova's Witnesses when he'd answered the door thinking it was the delivery man. He only opened the door after checking the peephole first after that.

"Are you sure we should scout the area first or talk to some other locals? Then, we could even get a potion or two."

The farmer began to sweat. He knew of a few bleeding hearts that may very well tell the adventurers of the dangers that awaited them. To his relief, Shirou shook his head.

"This beast has plagued these fine people long enough. We shouldn't waste any more time. " At that moment, Shirou did something that tossed all ideas of caution from Kazuma's mind. Shirou held out his hand, and a katana appeared in a flash of blue light.

"You'll need a weapon for your first fight," Shirou said, presenting the sword to Kazuma hilt first.

Kazuma reached out with a shaking hand and grasped the sword.

"This...This is amazing!"

Kazuma sprang up, his previous fatigue nothing but a memory as he swung his new sword, marveling how it cut through the air.

Shirou turned his attention to Aqua, who watched the proceeding with wide eyes.

"Sorry, Aqua, I can't make a magic staff but would you like a sword as well?"

Aqua surged to her feet, pointing a finger to the sky and smirking superiorly.

"Please, I being of my power, has no need for such an uncouth weapon. My magic and first will be more than enough for any foe we face."

"Then let's get moving!"

Kazuma regretted letting his new sword distract him from doing the smart thing. He regretted it deeply.

"You got this, Kazuma," Shirou and Aqua cheered him on as he desperately tried to stay ahead of a slug the size of a truck. They had arrived at the cave just in time to see the slug leaving and had given chase.

"The slug really is faster than I expected," Shirou said to Aqua as they watched Kazuma run in circles, screaming his head off. It seemed Kazuma had forgotten the slug didn't pose a threat to humans. Even though it slithered along at a good twenty kilometers per hour, the slug couldn't hurt anybody. Like all slugs, its body had the consistency of soft tofu, and it lacked limps and teeth. Shirou assumed Kazuma must have been intimidated by the beast's size because as soon as he got close to it, he dropped his sword and started running.

Kazuma had been intimidated by its size, but that hadn't been why he dropped his sword. To put it simply, the slug reeked! It smelled like month-old milk left out in the blazing summer sun. Kazuma had dropped his sword to avoid stabbing himself in the face as he tried to block out the foul odor. When the slug started to slither toward him, panic assailed his mind. The slug could in no way be allowed to touch him! Hence he began running for his life.

"Aqua! Shirou! Help me!"

Shirou took half a step forward before forcing himself to stop.

'Remember what Rin said, Shirou, sometimes people need tough love.'

"Hey, Aqua, why don't you go save Kazuma," Shirou said. Just because he couldn't interfere didn't mean Aqua wouldn't benefit from doing so.

Aqua hummed, tapping her face with a finger.

"I don't know, this is pretty funny to watch."

"Aqua!" Kazuma cried as the slug gained ground.

"But I suppose he'll own me for saving him, which could be a lot of fun. You know what? I'll do it!"

Aqua skipped forward, angling to intercept the slug and Kazuma as they sprinted by. But, alas, she didn't consider the thick layer of slime coating the ground until her feet slid out from under her at the worst time.

"Look out!"

Kazuma couldn't react quickly enough and bowled into Aqua, leaving them both sprawled on the ground as the slug bore down on them.

Shirou winced as the slug rolled over Kazuma and Aqua with an unpleasant squelch.

Deciding Kazuma and Aqua had enough training, Shirou traced a six-foot-long black bow and a large arrow to go along with it.

Pulling back on the string, the bow creaked ominously until Shirou's thumb rested against his cheek.

Releasing the string with a boom, the arrow vanished, and the slug's head exploded.

Striding towards Aqua and Kazuma, Shirou wrinkled his nose as a truly disgusting smell wafted from them.

"Well, that could have gone better."


IMPORTANT (to me)

Ok, I'm not one to usually create a New Year's resolution, but this year it seems appropriate for some reason. To keep me honest and motivated, I will share it with as many people as possible, including any of my awesome readers who bother to read these ANs.

In 2023, I aim to write and self-publish an original story on Kindle.

It's a big goal, but I believe it's achievable, and I hope you'll all be willing to read my book (for free) when it's out.

Thanks for reading