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Chapter 9


Shirou strode with purpose. People, sensing his intent, moved aside when they saw him. A General, at last. Shirou couldn't wait to find him. But first, he needed to let someone know he'd be leaving for a while.

The shop he was looking for came into view and he pushed open the door. A bell tinkled, alerting the owner to his presence.

"Shirou!"

Wiz charged from behind the counter wearing a big smile.

"Hey, Wiz."

Wiz pulled Shirou into a hug, giggling and bouncing on her toes.

"You won't believe how much product I've sold."

No, he would. Shirou had seen the dangers of Wiz's smile.

"I'm happy for you, Wiz. You've worked hard."

She hadn't, but Shirou couldn't say that. He'd already mentioned the danger of her smile.

"Listen, Wiz, I wanted to let you know. I'll be leaving for a while."

Wiz cocked her head.

"Are you going on a quest?"

"Yes. Beldia, a Demon King General, attacked the town and cursed me. I'm going to find and defeat him."

Wiz blinked. She hadn't expected that. What was Beldia doing here? Axle held no importance to the Demon King, and Beldia was famous for never leaving the castle. Strange.

Shirou watched the expression dance over Wiz's face before she settled on a frown.

"I guess it makes sense you have to find him. Axle's yours."

Shirou's mouth twisted, and his eye twitched. Wiz's belief in his evilness was rubbing him the wrong way. However, he wasn't above using it for now.

"Tell me about Beldia."

He grimaced. That felt so impolite, but Wiz, she didn't mind based on her applause.

"Oh, so firm! You're good at giving orders, sir. I'm learning so much from you, let me try.

Wiz lowered her brows and narrowed her eyes. Was… Was Wiz trying to look stern? Her tongue poked at the corner of her mouth in concentration.

Adorable. She looked like an irritated puppy.

"Beldia is very talented. He was a paladin, and believes in duty above all, which is why it's odd for him to attack Axle. Beldia would never leave the Demon King, believing it his swore duty protect his liege."

That was… interesting. Did it mean the Demon King was here? Shirou swallowed. Could it be that easy?

Wiz poked Shirou's forehead.

"Shirou, Are you ok?"

Knocked from his revelry, Shirou beamed a twinkle forming in his eye.

"Yeah, but I've got to go."

Shirou tried to turn away, but Wiz caught his arm.

"Wait! If you're going to fight Beldia, you'll need equipment."

Doubtful. If Shirou needed anything, he could trace it. But Wiz's pout made a convincing argument.

With a sigh, Shirou nodded, acquiescing to the inevitable, assuming she would give him a bauble of some kind.

"Excellent!"

Wiz darted off and returned a moment later, straining to hold aloft a bulging backpack.

"Here you go."

The pack slammed into the floor, making it shudder. There was no way Shirou could take it into a castle ruin. There were at least fifteen pockets, all budging, threatening to burst. He thought fast. Shirou needed to think of a way to let Wiz down easy.

"S-sorry, Wiz, I can't take this for free. It's too much."

Wiz waved her hand, brushing aside Shirou's concern.

"That's fine. This will be thirty-thousand eris."

T-thirty thousand!? He'd thought she wanted to give him something for free, as a thank you.

Wiz was oblivious to Shirou's disbelief and kept smiling.

"It's my most popular item. This pack is custom made to have everything you'll need on an adventure. Thank you so much for you patronage!"

Numb and embarrassed, Shirou handed over the cash with stiff motions.

"Be careful out there, Shirou."

Wiz waved as the Shirou left the store, pulling the ridiculous backpack behind him.


"Rise now, stand and sing, storm the castle, kill the demon king!"

Shirou sang as he skipped along. How could he not?

The trumpets in his head were blaring a heroic symphony that set his blood ablaze.

'This is it!'

Since coming to this world, Shirou felt content. He got to help people, didn't need to worry about silly laws and rules handed down by the magical government. Shirou didn't have to think about geography or politics or question his morals and ideals. He could fight the good fight, save people by killing monsters, as a genuine hero should.

"Shirou, please, slow down," Darkness said, panting, her face flush and shining. Aqua Megumin and Kazuma looked even worse, wheezing and breathless.

"Right, sorry."

Shirou kept forgetting he was physically the strongest person in the party and had a lot more stamina. Regardless of the massive backpack weighing him down. Slowing down to a quick walk, Shirou felt his anticipation build even further as the castle came into view, imposing upon a hill overlooking the valley.

"So, this is the castle?" Aqua asked once she caught her breath. "Kind of ruined, if you ask me."

"Yeah, well, that's why we thought it abandoned." Kazuma said, glancing at Megumin. The girl shifted and pulled her hat over her eyes.

"You said I could."

Kazuma's eye twitched, but he bit his tongue. She wasn't technically wrong.

"Do you think there will be traps?" Darkness looked way too excited by her own questions. "I know for sure Beldia will have legions of followers, all attacking us at once, trying to overwhelm us by sheer numbers. What will we do if they defeat us? I'll bet their filthy, freezing hands will be all over us."

Darkness wriggled even as Aqua's face turned green, with Megumin not far behind.

"Darkness! Keep your kinks to yourself!" Kazuma said before turning to Shirou, not bothering to listen to Darkness's denials.

"Do you have a plan, Shirou? Whatever attack you used earlier didn't work very well."

Shirou gave Kazuma a double thumbs up and grinned.

"I've been thinking about that. I assume Dullahan's are Undead, right? That's what Aqua said."

Kazuma could confirm; it was pretty common knowledge, after all.

"Yep, Dullahan's are undead kings, up there with liches and master vampires, so he'll be able to control a bunch of other undead, like zombies."

Shirou hummed and rubbed at his chin, eyes unfocused.

"Well, after the other night, I'm confident Aqua can take out any zombie with a single spell, so they're no problem."

"That's right; no zombie stands a chance against a goddess like myself!"

Ok, Kazuma relaxed hearing that Shirou had a plan, and the reminder that Aqua could eliminate the rank-and-file undead helped quell some of his anxiety.

"Right, well, that's doable. What about Beldia?"

Shirou stopped and looked upward, feeling the late afternoon sun against his skin.

"Since Hrunting didn't work, I'll try to get in close with Darkness and use Dawnbreaker. Even if it doesn't kill him, between the two of us, we can chop him into enough pieces that he won't be a threat."

Well, that sounded gross.

"Hey, what am I supposed to do?" Megumin asked with a pout.

"You've done enough."

The sound of a wood against skull heralded Megumin's response.

"Shut up, Kazuma." Megumin looked at Shirou as Kazuma fell behind, nursing the new bump on his head. "Well. Shirou? When to I blast him?!"

Shirou coughed and refused to look at the girl.

Megumin became antsy and prodded Shirou with her staff.

"Shirou?"

Shirou found himself in a bind. He hadn't thought about how Megumin would contribute.

'Think, Shirou, It's not right to exclude Megumin. Remember inclusiveness matters!'

Mind scrambling, the heavy pack shifted, forcing him to compensate.

'Now that's an idea.'


"... This is humiliating." Megumin said. Her back groaned under the weight of the backpack she carried. It looked comically large against her slight frame, and her knees shook with every step.

Kazuma felt very little sympathy. In fact, if it were possible, he'd trade jobs with her in a second.

"Yeah, well, what else can you do? Your Explosion won't do us any good in there. You'd kill us before the General."

Megumin grumbled, but didn't refute Kazuma's point as she eyed the entrance with an angry glare.

"Can I have my staff back at least?"

"Nope, can't risk you'll use it."

Indeed, Megumin's staff rested across Kazuma's shoulders, well away from the explosive loli.

Kazuma endured her glare with a smile. A smile that fell once Shirou opened his mouth.

"Kazuma, you're up. Scout the area and find us a path. Remember, don't engage any enemies, and if you're spotted, retreat right away."

'While screaming in abject terror, right?'

Kazuma didn't like this part of Shirou's plan, but it made sense to the gamer in him. The rouge builds were perfect for scouting, and with his skills in Lurk, Steal, and Bind, his class made him the sole option of finding the right path.

He regretted bashing the classic hit-it-till-it-dies strategy.

"Are you sure about this?" Kazuma asked, trying not to let his voice crack. "I'm just a weak adventurer, so wouldn't it make sense for Aqua or Shirou to go in first?"

Kazuma would have added Darkness, but, given how her uselessness with a sword…Yeah that wouldn't work.

"Being weak is a benefit here." Shirou said, "It means any enemies will have a hard time sensing you."

Again, damn Shirou and his buzzwords.

Kazuma sighed, but under the combined weight of Shirou, Darkness, Aqua, and Megumin's stares, he trudged toward the castle doors as a man condemned.

'Damn, you little Kazuma!'

If that waitress hadn't encouraged him... Kazuma gulped and shook his hands out.

'Think of the reward, Kazuma.'

"Ok, Kazuma, you've got this. You've spent years preparing for this moment, all those stealth games and MMOs, time to show everybody it wasn't time wasted."

With great care, Kazuma crouched down and pushed the door open a crack.

"Lurk."

Like a ninja, Kazuma's body blended into the background. He wasn't invisible, but he was definitely harder to see.

Kazuma glanced behind him one more time. His eye twitched.

'That bitch!'

Aqua's attention span showed itself again. She swayed about, hands clasped behind her back, chatting with Shirou like Kazuma wasn't about to enter a den of unspeakable evil.

What the hell!?

As Kazuma slipped into the castle. He regretted for the thousandth time choosing Aqua as his gift. Kazuma wished it were possible to go back and slap himself. He paused just inside the castle. Not because it was dark and creepy — it was — but because he had an epiphany.

Little Kazuma had been getting him into a lot of trouble since he died.

"Maybe I should have become a monk."

A little voice in his head — sounding suspiciously like Aqua — explained everything wrong with that idea. Kazuma couldn't refute.

Sigh.

Aqua insisted on causing Kazuma grief within his own inner monologue. How sad.

A clatter sent Kazuma's heart into his throat.

'I am the master of my bladder.'

With wobbly legs, Kazuma continued deeper down the main corridor.

'I am the master of my own bladder.'

He didn't hear or see anything. Kazuma cocked his head. Upon reflection, he found it peculiar. The castle appeared as a ruin from the outside. Shouldn't there be holes in the ceiling and scattered rubble? He looked up, no holes. Kazuma scrutinized his surrounding. No rubble. In fact, the entire place looked quite clean, considering.

At that moment, a dark, throaty voice spoke right into Kazuma's ear.

"How sweet. They sent me a tasty morsel to start..."

Kazuma screamed before a warm, soft hand slapped over his mouth and dragged him backward with undeniable strength.

"Lets play until the main course arrives."

'I am not the master of my own bladder!'


"... Did you hear that?"

Shirou had and began striding forward.

"Stupid Kazuma! He had one job."

Aqua wasn't wrong, though she sounded a little harsh.

"Why do we keep him around again? I mean, I get the need for comic relief, but still —"

Shirou kicked the door so hard it bounced off the wall behind it, quieting Aqua, who swallowed at the display.

Darkness moaned, sticking an armored finger into her mouth

"Hey, wait for me!" Megumin said, having fallen behind. "This pack is heavy, you know."

Shirou ignored Megumin, focusing on the dark castle interior, lips pursed into a frown.

"Let's be careful; we can't afford to be ambushed."

A cocky smile was Aqua's response.

"I can help with that. Watch and learn."

Holding out a hand before anyone could stop her, Aqua's power flared.

"Holy Glimmer!"

A white football-sized orb of light formed and shot toward the ceiling, hanging mid-air illuminating the entire entryway. It also alerted everything in the castle to Aqua's presence.

Fantastic.

"Oh, don't give me those looks," Aqua said. She crossed her arms and huffed.

"If Kazuma got caught, we all know he's singing like a canary."

"True."

"One hundred percent."

Harsh.

Shirou sighed and traced Dawnbreaker, allowing himself to enjoy the warmth it exuded for a moment.

"We need to stay close together; separating could be fatal."

Aqua scrunched up her nose; Shirou was acting weird.

"Come on, then." Aqua led the way, confident in her ability to fight any undead. "This place isn't a maze. So this shouldn't be that —"

Aqua unknowingly stepped on an object. Its nature remained unknown, but the surge of magic it emitted seemed ominous.

"Aqua — "

It started as a rumble and ended in a crash as walls slammed down from above and up from the floor.

Aqua yelped and fell on her bottom. Her eyes darted about, and her gut coiled. Why did this always happen to her?

"Crap! Who the hell turns a castle into a maze?"

Indeed, the walls appeared out of nowhere and seemed patterned. Aqua could go right or left.

Aqua didn't like either option. She stood and pounded at the wall.

"Shirou! Shirou!"

Her calls went unanswered, and now her first hurt, priests were not built to punch stone walls. She whimpered, and her lower lip quivered.

"This isn't fair, dammit; I'm a goddess and an arch-priest! I need my meat shields!"

Why is the world so unfair?

Aqua had two options; she could sit down and wait or wonder, hoping to find someone. She slid down the wall and crossed her legs.

"As if I'll wander around a creepy maze. I'm not moving from this spot."

Huffing, Aqua crossed her arms and prepared herself to wait for Shirou to find her. She quite liked the idea. Shirou, struck by terror that a monster might harm her, swooping in to save her.

Aqua giggled and then frowned. She could see her breath.

Goosebumps formed on her exposed skin, and she rubbed her arms.

"How'd it get so cold?"

As if to answer Aqua's question, a vicious gust of wind howled from her right, almost defeating her. Aqua watched with wide eyes as hoarfrost spread across the stone toward her.

'Nope.'

Aqua sprinted away from the encroaching, unnatural cold.

"Shirou!"


"Shirou!"

Darkness listened, hoping to hear Shirou yell back. Nothing.

"I don't like this," Megumin said, turning in a slow circle. "It feels like a trap."

A given. Since Beldia had encouraged them to enter, it seemed foolish in hindsight to think he wouldn't have some defenses in place.

"Hiya!"

Darkness struck the wall with her sword. It did nothing but hurt her hands, and she couldn't even enjoy the stinging sensation.

"They must know that isolating Shirou is their sole chance at victory. I must hurry and support him as a good slave—I mean servant — no, that's not right. Apprentice! Yes, as a good apprentice, should."

Megumin scratched her head. She wasn't certain, but evidence suggested Shirou having an easier time confronting the General without them in the way.

"Come Megumin! We will traverse this haunted maze and help our friends!"

Not giving Megumin a chance to argue, Darkness grabbed her hand.

With a yelp, Megumin let Darkness drag her deeper into the castle.

Left, right, and another left? Darkness navigated without thought, hoping speed would be the great decider.

"Looked out!"

A great yawning pit blocked their way, with no hope of jumping it. Darkness slid to a stop, with an inch to spare.

Breath coming in great gasps, Darkness stepped back and relaxed once a few feet separated her from plummeting.

"We'll backtrack and try another direction."

Decisive and calm, the hallmark of a Crusader. The grinding sound of stone destroyed that calm and replaced it with panic.

"Darkness. I don't think back is an option." Megumin said.

Indeed, Darkness and Megumin found their way blocked. Worse, the wall began creeping closer, pushing them toward the pit.

"Uh, Darkness? Do you have a plan?"

Darkness glanced at Megumin, wetting her lips.

"This may be a bad time to mention, but I'm as good at strategy as I am at swordplay."

"Ah. I suppose we scream and hope Shirou hears us then?"

They had maybe fifteen feet before the encroaching wall pushed them into the pit.

"Screaming works."

Both girls took deep breaths.

"Shirou!"


Quest complete! I've decided to make my chapters a bit shorter for a while and see how that works. Konosuba continues to be a fun little story that always lightens the mood and makes me smile. I hope you feel the same when reading it.

In other news I'm flirting with a new story idea, one that would require me to enter the realm of 'gasp' planning!

Fate Stay Night and Black Lagoon, the psychological mismatch between characters could be very interesting to explore and potentially make them all more interesting in different, unique ways.

Thanks for reading!