Previously on the Return of the Lost Son, we learn that in this merged timeline of the Loudverse and Owlverse, that this reality's Lincoln Loud died during childbirth. As the parents return home to mourn for the loss of their son, a rift in the sky shoots down a young infant with white hair, golden eyes and pointed ears which the two take in and raise as his replacement. Fourteen years later, Lincoln prepares for the last day of middle school before summer break, revealing that due to his abnormal appearance, he and his family are mocked for being/related to a freak. While his father (wanted to leave him be), Lori, Luan (both moved), Lynn Jr, Lucy, Lana and Lola, and Lisa share their like-minded hatred, his mother, Leni, Luna (both moved), and Lily are the only ones who accept him despite his "faults''. The only other person who shares such a bond outside of the Loud Family is a fourteen year-old Mexican-American girl named Luz Noceda, who is ready to present their project to their class.


Unknown

The chapter opens on a witch of medium size with light brown skin, a pointed face with long braided teal-colored hair, dark cyan eyes, a dark beauty mark below her left eye and a staff backflipping onto a cliff. wears a witch's outfit consisting of a white top with flared half sleeves surmounted by a purple yoke decorated with a yellow star over a dark gray long skirt. Under the skirt, she wears dark gray leggings and black boots. On her head, she wears a floppy, white, pointed, broad-brimmed hat surrounded by a gold coronet.

She carries a white staff with a huge blue teardrop-shaped crystal at the top which has a sliding dark gray area on the handle. She glares up at a large purple snake. He is a long serpent monster that has black scales with purple scales underneath. He has glowing yellow eyes and two light gray horns that are facing outward.

Gildersnake: Foolish child! I could swallow you whole! (Hisses.)

Azura: Do not underestimate me, Gildersnake, for I am the Good Witch Azura, warrior of peace! (Poses as wind blows her hair before dropping into a battle stance and holding her staff like a bazooka, the gem glowing red) Now eat this, sucka! (Fires off staff.)

Gildersnake: (While being shot.) No! My only weakness: dying! (Collapses.)


Principal River's Office, Royal Woods Middle School, Royal Woods, Michigan, USA, North America, North-Western Hemisphere, Earth

The scene cuts to a doll of Azura and a green snake being held, revealing it to be a reenactment.

Lincoln: "What's the worst that could happen?" She said (Sarcastically murmuring) Well, this is the worst that could happen, Luz. You never say those things unless you want to provoke karma.

The two of them are in Principal River's office, with the Principal, Vice-Principal Hal, and their mothers in the same room. Principal Rivers is a tall and slim light-skinned adult woman with long and curly black hair. She wears a lavender scarf on her head, long white pearl necklace, yellow long-sleeved shirt with big collar, dark purple coat skirt, and white boots. Vice-Principal Hal has dark brown skin, curly gray hair and a mustache, and wore a yellow shirt with a tie. Camila, similar to Luz, is a Dominican-American woman with tan skin and a medium body frame. Her eyes are similar to her daughter's, but are more brown. She originally wore her hair up in a bun with two bangs tufted outward. As a veterinarian, she wears a set of cyan scrubs with darker, blue-rimmed sleeves, white shoes, black glasses with a red top, and blue earrings.

Luz: (not listening) And that's the end.

Camila: The end of what?

Luz: Our book report. (The snake hisses and bites the doll.) I think we knocked it out of the park.

Principal River: Your book report is why you're in here.

She gestures to the door, through which we can see two students running by screaming, snakes biting their heads.

Luz: Oh. That's where the backup snakes were.

Lincoln: I told you it was a bad idea to leave them in your locker.

Camila: And what were you two going to do with this? (Holds up several firecrackers tied together.)

Luz: That was for the Act Three closer.

Camila: Mija (Darling), I love your creativity, but it's gotten out of hand. Do you remember why you were in the principal's office the last three times?


Auditorium, Royal Woods High School, Royal Woods, Michigan

The room flashes back to Luz wearing a green and white gown and cone hat with a cyan tassle on stage at an audition for Romeo and Juliet, holding a spork, Lincoln having the part of Romeo. Don't ask how he got it.

Past Luz: O happy dagger, give me death!

Luz stabs the spork into her torso before tearing her dress, making several links of sausages fall out. Everyone else on stage screams and runs.

Lincoln (voiceover): Juliet's suicide wasn't that gory, Luz. At least I read the original script.

Luz: (voiceover) It was for the drama!


Classroom, Royal Woods High School, Royal Woods, Michigan

Then the scene cuts to Luz sewing a pigeon head onto a squirrel's body, on a platform labeled "baby griffin", while Lincoln painted the finer details.

Past Luz: Now for the final anatomically correct touch, spider breath.

She opens the model's beak. Many spiders come out, crawling over her and the table. People scream in terror, throwing objects everywhere.

Lincoln: (voiceover) I told you to use the rubber spiders.

Luz: But I was trying to go for realism! You know how I managed to get those parts.


Football Field, Royal Woods High School, Royal Woods, Michigan

The scene next cuts to cheerleading tryouts, where a girl does a successful backflip. Every other student applauds. Luz appears, wearing an orange, white and gray uniform with white shoes and orange legstockings.

Luz: You think that's an impressive trick? (Throws her pom-poms to the side.) Take a look at this. (Turns around to reveal she flipped her eyelids inside out.) Bleep, bloop, bleep!

Everyone else screams and runs, and it sounds like at least one person is gagging. Cut back to Principal River's office.


Lincoln: Wait, I don't get how that was a problem compared to the other times. I thought it was an impressive, if not gross, physical feat. (Luz beams) Come to think of it, why am I in trouble for all three times when I was involved in just one incident.

Vice-Principal Hal: You have your own problems to worry about, Mr. Loud. Do you recall the Girl Guru?

Royal Woods Elementary Parking Lot, Royal Woods, Michigan


3 Years Ago

The scene cuts to when he was the Girl Guru during the business assignment at Royal Woods Elementary. Contrary to what his sisters believed, he giving them bad advice, the customers threatening the duo, and him getting pelted by salt and vinegar pies. Quite the opposite happened, the methodology of the advice was think back to what his sisters did, then say the exact opposite, such as Girl Jordan's idea of fun to Andrew over Dutch Ovens, being true to one's self for Rusty instead of wasting time with chivalry, proving Zach's worth instead of chemistry, something the redhead is thankful for, taking a girl to a petting zoo to Papa Wheelie rather than putting a frog in her pants, giving a girl a joyful event to Flat Tire instead of a funeral to cope with losses, and roses over squirt flowers for Coach Pakowski.

When the sisters found out about how successful his business was and how it was stealing theirs, they worked together to shut it down, only for them to become targets for their rage and the destruction of all other business stands.


Lincoln: (voiceover) It was my sisters who took things too far! All I did was give what I thought was good advice.

Luz: (voiceover) And it was great advice, Lincoln. Some people just can't handle friendly competition. *cough* Lola *cough*

Lincoln: Truth be told, I've simply said what I saw in my head. As long as I can remember, I've always been plagued by strange dreams or visions as she puts it, every single night. A realm of magic here, an older man who looks like me there, an owl somewhere , and a warrior made of stardust who knows where. Now that I think about it, there's always someone or something that tips my the odds to my favor whenever my family is involved. If only I knew who or what could do this.

Vice Principal Hal: And must we remember the Mapleton Incident?

Lincoln: All I wanted was to be transferred from Mr. Bolhofner's class to Mrs. Salter's, but you sent me to freaking Canada! How the heck did that happen? Besides, I found my own way of keeping myself from getting cold. (The sound of cracking ice could be heard in the back of his mind, then moving to burning wood and the screams of the innocent. He turns to the fourth wall again) And before you start getting any ideas about what happened, no one was hurt during that flash fire.

Rita: And you, Lincoln. I understand that you want to help Luz, but you don't have to get in trouble just for wanting to help.

Lincoln (mentally) Easy for you to say, Mom. At least you don't have to be alienated just for looking different.

Camila: We all love that you express yourself, but if you can't learn to separate fantasy from reality, you may need to spend the summer here.

She holds out a pamphlet for Reality Check Summer Camp. Luz takes it reluctantly.

Lincoln: "Reality Check Summer Camp. Think inside the box." Are they trying not to sound like a rehabilitation center?

Luz: Don't worry, Mom. I won't let you down. (Stands up triumphantly.) No more weirdness!

The snake in Luz's hand suddenly jumps out and bites the principal. They fall to the ground with a yell while the snake hisses and slithers into a conveniently open vent.

Luz: That doesn't count, right?

Principal River: Mrs. Noceda, you can go out with your daughter, I have something to say to Mrs. Loud and her son privately.

Luz looked concerned since she had an idea where this was leading and didn't want to leave her brother-friend alone, but Lincoln gave her an assured "It's okay" look and she left the office with Camilla, leaving the Louds with the school officials.

Principal River: I'm sorry that it's come to this, Mrs. Loud, but with all the calls for attention, we have no other choice but to expel your son from Royal Woods Middle School.

Lincoln and Rita: WHAT?!

Lincoln: But why me?! Luz got in trouble just like I did!

Vice-Prinicpal Hal: Ms. Noceda was given an opportunity to control that imagination of hers, but you don't have that option. So get your things from your locker.

Lincoln: (angry) It's because of my ears, right? Is it because I'm a freak?

The staff remained silent, answering his question and making him understand that this was perhaps the sole reason for his expulsion. This causes him to get angry, tears in his eyes and runs out of the door, damaging it in the process.

Luz: Lincoln!

Luz sees him run out and tries to comfort him. Camila holds her back, but she throws her off and runs after him.

Rita leaves the office, giving her the number for the door repair, leaves the office and spots Camilla.

Rita: (sighs) Can you pass me the brochure for a second?

Camila: Sure. (passes it over) It's all good. (gazes to where they ran off) I don't think I've ever seen Lincoln this upset before. It's almost like he was an entirely different person. I'm just glad that there is someone like Luz standing by his side.

Rita:(touches her forehead) I just don't know what to do about him anymore. If it isn't at home that some of my daughters, even my own husband at times, discriminate against Lincoln, outside of the house, which is practically everyone in town, now the school has kicked him out just for being different.

Camila: (lays a hand on Rita's shoulder) Don't worry about Lincoln, Rita. Everything is going to be fine.

Rita looks back at the brochure, then gets an idea.


Vanzilla

After-School

After Luz managed to calm Lincoln down, they went directly to Vanzilla and headed back home. Rita now looks at her adopted son, who was now looking out at the window in his seat without emotion, albeit with a pained expression.

Rita: Hey, everything is going to be fine. After you return from camp, you can study at home with Lola, we'll try to make it work. We always do.

Lincoln: I don't understand why everyone treats me like this. (tears begin to flow from his eyes again) My sisters, my Dad, all the children at school, all the people in town and beyond, and now even the teachers. What is it about me that makes everyone treat me like some kind of parasite?!

Rita: That's why you're going to camp with Luz, to help find those like you. We aren't always going to be here for you forever. One day you'll have to face things alone.

Lincoln: Nothing's ever going to change in this world. Never did, never will. To them, I'll always be a freak.

Rita gave him a sad look and kept driving.


The Loud House

1216 Franklin Avenue, Royal Woods, Michigan

Later

When they got home and after hearing another blame session from everyone, especially his father, Lincoln went to his room to pack for camp. When he finished, Lily knocked on his door and he opened it.

Lily: How's it going? Doing okay, Lincoln?

Lincoln: Depends on your definition of okay? But I suppose I'm worse than I was when I started today.

Lily: Don't worry. I won't do anything fun for three months until you come back, so I won't feel like I missed out on anything fun with you.

Lincoln: (laughs a little) Yeah, I guess that's fine.

Lily: (hugs him) I'm going to miss you so much.

Lincoln (hugs back) Me too.

Unknown: Me three.

The two yell at the voice and turn, only to see Lucy standing in front of the doorway.

Lincoln: Lucy?!

Lily: We almost had a heart attack!

Lincoln: Wait, I don't get why you're being nice to me. You're always taking their side or simply playing the part for something bad to happen.

Lucy: Sigh. Lincoln, it's not wrong to me having a fascination with the supernatural and paranormal. Not to mention that one of your favorite characters, Edwin from Vampires of Melancholia, has pointed ears like you.

Lincoln: (unconvinced) Then why do you always insult me when I'm around you?

Lucy: You know how our sisters are. I would torture myself for the rest of my life than live one without being with you. If they found I relate to you not just by blood, there would be two of "us" in this house, three counting Lori. You may have been able to tolerate them for all this time, but I couldn't. Have you always wondered why I always slink away and pop up without being noticed?

Lincoln looks at her, and begins to feel sorry because he realizes he and Lucy are almost exactly the same, if things had played out differently, he would be the one comforting her. Lincoln approaches the goth and hugs, something that surprises her, she blushes with embarrassment, but hugs him back while the two embrace, Lily looks at them with a smile, closes the door, and joins their embrace.


Noceda Residence, Royal Woods, Michigan

The Next Day / Morning

Until bedtime, Lincoln agreed to help Lucy with her poems. The next day, Rita and Lincoln arrive at the Noceda house and spot Luz, who is standing disappointedly in front of her house. The house is a two-story house with white walls and a gray roof, and many windows along the front. There is a driveway on the left side of the house and a walkway that leads up to the front door.

Lincoln: Hey, Luz.

Luz: Hey, how are you?

Lincoln: I'm expelled, but I learned that Lucy sympathizes with my plight, so I'm kinda okay now.

Luz is surprised at both details, looking at him worriedly before Camila appears out of the house.

Camila: (Exits the house.) Oh! Oh, my baby! (Hugs Luz.) Now, don't worry. Summer camp is only going to be for three months. You'll be so busy balancing checkbooks and learning to... appreciate public radio, the time will fly by!

Lincoln: Eh, we're only fourteen years old. We can take care of ourselves.

Camila: (looks sternly) But don't always be fourteen years old.

Luz: But I don't like any of that stuff. I like editing anime clips to music and—and reading fantasy books with convoluted backstories.

Camila: Mija, your fantasy world is holding you back. Do you have any friends? Real ones, not imagined or drawn or reptilian?

Luz drops her book, disappointed while Lincoln looks at her sadly. She walks slowly over to the trash bin.

Camila: Summer camp is a chance to make some friends, but you have to try. Can you do that?

Luz: Yes, Mom.

Luz puts her book, The Good Witch Azura, into the trash bin. Camila's phone vibrates in her purse.

Camila: Oh. I gotta go to work. (Kisses Luz's forehead.) Your bus is coming soon. Text me when you get there. Cuídate mucho, mija. ¡Qué te vaya bien! / Take care of yourself, dear. Good luck!Come on Rita. (Goes on vanzilla)

Rita: (to Lincoln) Whenever it's good and watch that Luz doesn't make enemies or that she does damage (go up to vanzilla)

Luz: (Watches her leave, then gasps and rummages through the bin.) Where is it? Where is it?

An owl hoots. Luz looks up and sees a little owl, displaying brown-toned feathers, golden-yellow eyes, and orange feet, her book sticking out of the bag in his beak. It turns and flies away, Lincoln noticing a binding interlock is located underneath his right foot

Luz: Tiny trash thief! (Luz chases the owl.)

Lincoln: Luz, wait! (follows after them)

When Lincoln leaves for Luz, the bus for the camp arrives, filled with like-minded individuals that have proven either a disappointment or too wild and free to control, picking up its new campers onboard. She says nothing, as does the boy. But when he sits down on the bus, he gives a very ominous smirk.

The little owl hops deeper through the woods as the friends run after it. Lincoln stops running as he grabs Luz by the arm.

Lincoln: (breathing deeply) Wait a minute...

Lincoln didn't finish speaking when they saw in front of them a decrepit abandoned house, but the owl continued right inside. Luz stares at the house and growls. Steeling her nerves, Luz runs inside, escaping Lincoln's grasp. Lincoln, testing his nerves, runs after her. The front door slams shut behind him, and the entire inside glows, visible through the windows and the holes in the roof.


Unknown

Midday

Cut to the inside of a tent, where a door unfolds in three parts before opening. The little owl hops through it, and a second later, Luz follows.

Luz: Stop adorably hopping away, you—Huh? (They look around the tent, which is full of old odds and ends.) Whoa. I thought I had a lot of weird stuff. (Grabs a creepy-looking doll.) But this? This is impressive.

Lincoln: Wow, but what is this place? I doubt we're still inside that cabin from earlier.

Middle-aged Woman: (Offscreen.) Finally, you're back.

Luz makes a noise and drops to the ground. She peeks back up and walks forward, moving the flap of the tent aside to see the back of a is a tall, slender woman in her mid-to-late 40s, with ivory skin, pointed ears, maroon lips, and golden eyes. Her untamed hair is thick, long, and layered with tones of gray. She has a screw-in golden fang that sticks out, orange claw-like nails, and an oval amber gem on her sternum. She wears a sleeveless, two-tone maroon dress with a ripped hem design, a green spotted bandana and gray leggings. Her jewelry consisted of two orange spherical earrings and an amber spherical ring. For footwear, she wore maroon high-heeled boots.

Lincoln: Golden eyes...

Middle-aged Woman: Now let's see what we've got here, Owlbert.

The little owl lands on top of the woman's staff. She turns him around, and it becomes a wooden fixture of the staff. Luz gasps.

Lincoln: Wood mimicry?

Middle-aged Woman: (Takes out a phone from the bag.) Garbage. (Takes out a ring.) Garbage. (Takes out a golden shining chalice.) Garbage. (Gasps.) Now, this... (Takes out a pair of joke glasses with eyes on springs and puts them on.) This will make me rich.

Lincoln: (whispers) Luz, we need to get out of here and fast.

The two were about to turn around until Luz notices the next item the woman pulls out

Middle-aged Woman: (Takes out Luz's book.) And this... Oh, this will make good kindling. (Holds the book with a candle.)

Luz: (Gasps; runs out of the tent)

Lincoln: Luz, wait!

Luz: (runs and grabs her book back.) Excuse me, sorry, it's mine, thank you.

Luz runs back into the tent and heads for the door.

Lincoln: Come on!

It folds up before they can walk through it and disappears. The camera zooms out to show the middle-aged woman holding a key with an eye on it, the same eye that was on the door.

Middle-aged Woman: (Takes off the glasses.) You're not going anywhere.

Luz: Wah-ah!

She shoves Azura into her messenger bag and along with Lincoln, ducks out the back of the tent. They run, and skids to a stop mere inches away from falling off a cliff. They're clearly no longer on Earth, the town before her being made up of far too many arms and teeth. A dragon flies by and is caught by one of said arms. The scene moves to denizens of the town going about their days: a cloaked figure holding an ice cream cone which eats someone, the legs of what appear to be a giant chicken, a centipede-looking thing opening its mouth to let a winged creature fly out. The latter two kiss before going their separate ways. Then it cuts back to Luz and Lincoln.

Lincoln: Holy mother of gods, this place is... amazing.

Luz: (Backing away from the cliff.) Oh, no, no, no, no! What's going on? (Shrieks as a pink fairy with purple hair and a white dress approaches them.) Oh, hello, little fairy. Are you going to tell me this is all a fantastical dream?

Fairy: (opens her mouth) Give me your skin!

Luz: (Screams, slaps the fairy into the ground.) Where are we? Did we die? Are we in the bad place?

Lincoln: But I've only done good things. (pinches himself, then slaps himself) Okay. Not dreaming and not dead. Yet something about this feels familiar... Deja vu?

Middle-aged Woman: (Touches her shoulder.) You wish.


Luz: (Sits them down on a stool.) I'm so sorry! I just wanted my book! If you're gonna eat my skin, (Offers her arm and closes her eyes.) just make it quick! Just do it now!

Lincoln: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, we can resolve this peacefully.

Middle-aged Woman: Eat you? Why would I eat... potential customers?

Luz opens her eyes.

Lincoln: Say what now?

Middle-aged Woman: Can I offer you a human foot filled with holes? (Holds up a green Croc, then puts it aside and grabs a stick of men's deodorant.) A bar of green human candy? Oh, oh! How about this black shadow box that reflects only sadness? (Holds a portable TV up to them, showing their reflections alongside a hidden third)

Luz: (Looks at the middle-aged woman and laughs.) That's not all it can do. Here, let me see it.

Luz takes the TV and grabs two batteries from a dish labeled "Human candy! (?)" She puts the batteries in and presses the power button. A jazzercise

Luz: Voilà!

Lincoln: Say hello to 80s entertainment.

Several customers and vendors stop at the noise.

Monster #1: Huh?

Monster #2: What's that?

Monster #3: The sound—it's so alluring.

Several monsters are now crowded around the TV.

Blue Turtle Monster: (Holding up green bills.) I'll pay 40 snails for the screaming box!

Monster #2: I'll give you a hundred!

Monster #3: Can I eat the tiny person inside?

The whole crowd starts bidding.

Middle-aged Woman: (Looks at Luz.) What did you say your names were?

Luz: I'm Luz. Luz Noceda.

Lincoln: Lincoln Loud, intrigued boy and human outcast. Charmed.

Middle-aged Woman: (Taking people's money.) Well, Luz, Lincoln, that was pretty clever... for humans.

Lincoln: Wait, humans? You're hiding more than you're letting on.

Luz: That's kind of a weird thing for another human to say.

Middle-aged Woman: Oh, dear child, (Take off bandana to reveal pointed ears.) I'm not like you. (Climbs onto the table.) I'm Eda Clawthorne the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!

Luz: A witch?

Lincoln: (mentally) She has pointy ears, like mine... (He touches his ears still covered under the hood)

Eda: I am a respected, feared-

Unknown: Busted! (Breaks the TV.)

A humanoid appearance, a large rotund build, and blue eyes with black sclera and pupils, appears. His uniform consists of a gray long-sleeved shirt with brown gloves and a brown belt with a gold buckle, followed by black harem pants and brown boots. He also wears dark gray pointed masks and his uniform prominently features a golden triangle at the center, denoting his allegiance. He is also armed with a sword that hangs off their belt.

Monster: Run! It's a guard!

All of the customers run away screaming. Eda hops down from the table.

Guard: (Holds up Eda's wanted poster, showing her cackling with her staff on her left hand and a flame on her right, a dog-like demon next to her with a bounty of 1 quintillion snails) Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted for misuse of magic and demonic misdemeanors.

Luz: (Peeking over the edge of the table.) Whoa! Witch criminal!

Guard: (ignores him, grabbing Eda's arm.) You are hereby ordered to come with me to the Conformatorium.

Eda: (Frees her arm.) Would you guys quit following me around? I haven't done squat.

Guard: And you're coming too... (Picks Luz and Lincoln up by their hoods.)

Luz: Aah!

Lincoln: Hey!

Guard: ...for fraternizing with a criminal.

Luz: Wh-What? That's not cool!

Lincoln: We hardly knew until just a few minutes ago!

Eda: Oh, all right, all right, you win. Just let me get my stuff.

Eda reaches under the table and grabs her staff, swinging it at the guard. He falls to the ground with a grunt. Eda spins her staff and taps the bottom of it on the table, making all her stuff float in midair. Luz picks herself and her book off the ground. Lincoln gets up from the ground, grabs the guard's spear and aims it at him.

Eda: Whoops. Can't forget this.

Eda reaches into her hair and pulls out the key, pressing the eye to summon the portal door. She closes her hand into a fist, making the tablecloth wrap itself around all of her stuff. She sticks her staff through the bundle and starts running.

Eda: Follow me, humans.

Luz: (Following Eda.) This is crazy. If I die here, our mom's gonna kill us!

Lincoln: (ditches the spear) Not if someone here does the job first!

Eda: Ha! I won't let 'em hurt you. Humans like you are much more valuable to me alive than dead.

Lincoln: Wait, you're only helping us just for us to...

Luz: Wait. What's that supposed to-

Eda: Whoo-hoo!

He doesn't finish as Eda jumps on her staff, pulling herself and the two teenagers onto it. They take off into the sky as the guard runs into frame.

Guard: You won't get away with this, Owl Lady! (He looks at his hands.) Yeah, all right. You did. You got away with it. She got away with it, everybody! Typical.


Skyline, Unknown Realm

Meanwhile Eda, a crying Luz, and a rather excited Lincoln fly on Eda's staff above the Isles.

Eda: You can open your eyes now, humans.

Luz: (Does so, yells and nearly falls off the staff when they see the ground below them, a natural landscape with ribs spiking out of the ground. Lincoln clinging onto it and Luz in turn) Flying staffs, crazy monsters, you're a witch! What is this place?

Eda: (Picks Luz up and rights her.) This is the Boiling Isles. Every myth you humans have is caused by a little of our world leaking into yours.

Various winged creatures fly behind them as Eda talks. A griffin that looks extremely similar to the one Luz made at school flies up next to them and screeches.

Luz: A griffin!

The griffin then barfs spiders.

Luz: (Points.) I knew it! You owe me a dollar, Lincoln.

Lincoln: That was three years ago! And we agreed to disagree back then.

Eda: Yep. Griffins, vampires, giraffes...

Luz: Giraffes?

Eda: Oh, yeah. We banished those guys. Bunch of freaks. (Lincoln growls at the word)

Eda lands the staff and hops off, though her hand stays behind. Luz sees it move on its own.

Luz: Whoa! (jumps off the cane)

Lincoln: Oh my gosh!

Eda: Oops (Screws her hand again) That happens sometimes.

When Eda places her arm, she looks at Lincoln and is surprised since she saw him without his hood and sees his ears that are pointed and golden eyes, most importantly, he looks at his hair. After seeing them well he could only say one thing.

Eda: (mentally) Aiden?

Lincoln: Who?

Eda blinks at him oddly.

Luz: (Stands up.) Well, we've had enough adventure for today. This is clearly not the PG fantasy world I always dreamed about. So, can you help us get back home?

Eda levels her staff in front of Luz, startling them.

Eda: Only if you help me first. (Chuckles, lifts her staff, and walks away with the bag following her.) Ah, now, come along, humans.

Lincoln: But we helped get all those snails back at the market. Doesn't that count as.. (he stops talking when they notice exactly where they are going) help?

Luz: Whoa!

They see a crumbling stone tower with orange moss, on top of which is an owl with an uncanny human face that cackles. The view zooms out as it flies down to reveal the full structure, a large house made from white brick with a sloping blue roof. A stained glass window above the door gives the impression of a large orange demon eye which Eda and the teens walk up to.

Lincoln: Now that's a house! An Owl House!

Luz: (Looking over her shoulder.) Aren't you worried about those guards finding us?

Eda: Nope. My house has a state-of-the-art defense system.

Owl Head: (speaking) Hoot-hoot! Password, please!

It's is a wooden light beige owl face with a darker orange upper side, with brown eyes and an orange beak. Annoyed by this, Eda pokes both of his eyes.

Owl Head: Aah!

Eda: We got no time for this, Hooty. Let us in.

Hooty: All right, all right! Geez! You never want to have any fun! Ow! Hoot!

Hooty opens his mouth wide enough to completely cover the door. Eda and Luz step through, though Eda's bag stays outside. Hooty closes his mouth. Hooty burps, behind the door where he is placed, there is the back frame of his owl body with wings and two peepholes attached where his eyes normally are.


The Owl House, Boiling Isles, Demon Realm

Afternoon

Eda: Welcome to, (Snaps her fingers.) the Owl House...

Candles ignite. A fire in the fireplace starts, facing opposite two couches, a cauldron starts stirring itself, and a broom starts sweeping the floor. Overhead, a depiction of an owl beast of some kind begins to glow with a great screeching noise. There are also candles, a wall of artifacts, and Eda's wanted poster. Luz and Lincoln look at all of this in awe.

Eda: ...where I hide away from the pressures of modern life. Also the cops. Mm, also ex-boyfriends. (Chuckles.)

Luz: This place is beautiful! (Puts her book onto a coffee table.) Do you live here all alone?

Thudding footsteps shake the house.

Eda: Actually, I have a roommate.

Roommate: (Deep voice.) Who dares intrude upon I, (Normal voice.) the king of demons? (Squeaks a rubber ducky.)

He is a canine-like creature that somewhat resembles a wolf or a fox. He has mostly dark gray fur, although his belly and the tip of his tail are covered in purplish-gray fur. The highlight of his appearance is a dog-like skull with white horns on his head, one of which is broken. He has pink eyes with yellow sclera, has three fingers and two toes that (excluding his thumbs) look like white claws and also wears a red collar with a yellow tag and two blue towels with duck pictures and hearts on them below his waist and on his head.

Luz: (Gasps.) ¡Ay, que lindo! / Oh, how cute! (She runs forward and scoops King up in a hug.) Eda, he's so cute! Who's a widdle guy? Who's a widdle guy? Is it you? Is it you?

King: (Struggles to free himself.) No! I don't know who your little guy is! Eda, who is this monster?

Eda: (Lincoln drags Luz away from King.) Oh, this is Luz and Lincoln, the humans. (Puts her down.) They're here to help us with our little... situation.

King: Oh! Hooray!

Luz: Wait, wait, wait. I don't like the sound of this "situation".

Lincoln: Yes, what exactly is this "situation" about?

Eda: Just... let me explain. (Draws a spell circle that darkens and effectively turns into a storybook. King being shown as his he wants himself to be described as Eda narrates.) King was once a mighty king of demons, until his Crown of Power was stolen, and he became... (Cut to Luz hugging King again.) this.

Luz: You mean this little bundle of joy?

Eda: (Narrating, the picture changes to a humanoid demon with purple skin and a large, muscular build. He wears a hood that is non-standard for a guard and a beaked mask with yellow button-like lenses, resembling masks worn by plague doctors, 17th century physicians who treated victims of the Bubonic Plague in certain European countries. He wears a white sleeveless tunic with brass buttons, a brown leather belt with a brass buckle, and black trousers tucked into dark purple shoes. On the uniform, one can also see a triangular brass badge, which apparently emphasizes his position, below an open doorway showing a black-haired man of fair skin and a red and blue cloak standing before it.) The crown is being held by the evil Warden Wrath and locked away behind a magical force field that only a human can break through.

(The storybook circle fades, returning to Luz hugging King.)

Eda: Humans like you. If you help us retrieve his crown, we'll send you back to your realm. So whaddya say? Plus, (Picks up King by his face and shakes him gently.) who could say no to this cute face?

King: No! Please don't encourage her! (Eda drops him.) Nyeh!

Eda: I mean, we're kinda your only way home.

Lincoln: Fair point.

Luz: So we don't really have a choice, do I?

Eda: Nope. (Picks Luz up and tosses her over her shoulder and Lincoln under arm as she heads for the door.) Now, we've got no time to lose.

King: (Picks up his rubber duck.) Soon, Mr. Ducky, we shall drink the fear of those who mocked us. (Follows Eda.)

Luz: Where are we going?

Eda: Somewhere super fun.


The Conformatorium, Boiling Isles, Demon Realm

Evening

They travel to the Conformatorium, where thunder claps. It is the form of a prison complex surrounded by a ravenous maw with a central tower in the back and a large empty area in the middle.

Lincoln: You and I have very different definitions of fun.

Eda: The Conformatorium, a place for those considered unsuitable for society.

Luz: (Notices Eda's wanted poster on the wall they're hiding behind.) Whoa. These guys really have the hots for you.

Eda: Yep. But we were never caught because we're too slippery.

Lincoln: Or maybe they're too incompetent.

King: Try to catch me when I'm covered in grease. I'm a squirmy little fella. Aah! (He falls off of Luz's head.) You and I will sneak up to the top of the tower, where they're holding my crown.

Lincoln: (helps King up) And how are we going to get there?

Eda: And I'm gonna make sure the warden's distracted.

Luz: (Gasps.) Will I need a disguise?

Eda: Uh...

Luz: I've been waiting to use this. (Pulls her hood on, flicks up cat ears.) Meow, meow.

Lincoln rolls his eyes and he pulls up his hood over his head.

King: It's hideous.

Eda: Oh, you'll fit right in.

Eda taps the butt of her staff against the ground, creating a round glowing platform. She steps away from it.

Eda: Hang on tight.

Luz: Whoa!

The platform rises, floating all the way up to a window in the tower. It disappears suddenly, forcing Lincoln to grab the edge of the window sill, Luz clinging to his back and King clinging to her feet. Eda, meanwhile, tosses her staff and casually sits down on it as it rises.

Eda: Meet you guys at the top of the tower.

Lincoln: Wait, you could have taken us with you. And she's gone.

King grunts as he climbs up Luz and into the window. Also grunting, Luz pulls herself up and in, falling on her face.

King: Ha-ha! Cat's don't do that.

Lincoln and Luz sit up and gasp. The three of them marvel at the amount of spiraling prison cells before them, all of them occupied by shadowy beasts of varying shapes and sizes, though all of their eyes glow in the light.

Prisoner #1: Hey, cat lady, gang member, how'd you get out of your cell?

They turn to see a humanoid witch with pointy ears, dark skin, and black hair styled in a ponytail. She has upturned hazel eyes with three eyelashes on each eye as well as distinguished fangs. She wears an indigo-colored dress which revealed her shoulders and covered all of her upper arms and about half her forearms. She had a gold band around her neck and sported black, calf-length high-heeled boots.

Luz: Oh, no, no, no. I'm not a cat. (Pulls her hood down.)

Lincoln: (does the same) Also, we're not criminals.

King: Not yet, you're not.

Prisoner #1: Neither are we. The stupid warden likes to lock people up who don't fit in. Like, I write fanfics of food falling in love. (Pulls out a book of said fanfiction.) I like food, I like love... Just let me write about it. My name's Katya.

ye-Eating Prisoner: I'm here because I like eating my own eyes. (a light grayish-blue monster with at least six eye holes, which will either have all his eyes or a few missing, wearing gray capris and walks barefoot. He also has an ankle lock on his left foot, plucks an eye out of his head as he says this, swallowing it. The eye floats back into place.)

Unknown: We are agents of fwee expwession! They will never siwence us!

The one who spouted such spirit is a small round white demon with large blueish eyes within yellowish sclera, a rather prominent nose, and reddish hair. She also has two off white buck teeth. She's practically just a head with no body, with her limbs coming out of it.

Katya: Yeah, she's really big into conspiracy theories. We just came here earlier today, so we all just call her Tiny Nose for now.

Tiny Nose: The world is a simulation! We are but playthings for a higher being!

Lincoln: You see them too? (turns to the fourth wall)

Luz: (Pacing around.) Wait. These aren't crimes. None of you actually did anything wrong. (Pulls out Eda's wanted poster.)

Lincoln: You're all just a bunch of weirdos. Like us.

Thudding footsteps attract their attention.

Katya: It's Warden Wrath! Hide!

Luz and Lincoln exclaim and run into an open cell, pulling the door down as they enter. Footsteps continue until a door is pushed open.

Warden Wrath: I can hear you.

Luz whimpers.

Warden Wrath: (Stomping forward.) Just what are you fools whispering about? (Looks down at Eda's wanted poster that Luz had dropped.) Ah. The Owl Lady. (Picks up the poster and crumples it, turning his fist into a hammer and slamming it into the door of Luz's cell.) I'll get my hands on her soon enough.

Warden Wrath looks into the cell, where Lincoln, Luz and King are huddled in the corner.

Tiny Nose: Fight against the oppwessor! We will wesist! We will conquer! We will never be afwaid of you, you old cweep!

Warden Wrath walks over to her cell and opens it. She stares at the opening door.

Tiny Nose: Hooway! I'm fwee! (Squeaks.)

Warden Wrath grabs Tiny Nose, his fist fitting around her entire body. He holds her up and points at the other two prisoners.

Warden Wrath: Let this be a lesson to all of you. There's no place in society for you if you can't fit in.

He tightens his grip, making Tiny Nose squeak again. Warden Wrath stomps away, crushing the crumpled up wanted poster on his way out. A door slams, and Luz opens her cell, running with the others to that of Katya.

Luz: Don't worry. I can get you out. (Pulls on the lever, but can't lift it.) No! My weak nerd arms!

Katya: Just get out of here while you still can, kids. Enjoy freedom for us.

Katya walks deeper in her cell. Luz and Lincoln look at each other and reluctantly walk away. When they reach a certain hallway, where Eda flies up to them.

Eda: Hey, I just checked. (Hops off her staff.) The warden is distracted, tormenting some tiny creature. He won't be coming around here anytime soon.

They continue walking without saying anything. Eda watches them, confused. They reach a towering door reading "CONTRABAND".

King: My crown! It's close! I can sense its power! (Runs up to the door and fiddles with the doorknob that's as big as he is.)

Eda: Aw, he gets so cute when he's thirsty for power.

Luz: It's not fair that they're all in here. They just want to be themselves.

Lincoln: Why does everyone think that being a weirdo is so bad? Just because they look different or think independently doesn't mean everyone can treat that person like trash.

King grunts. The doorknob is thrown to the ground with a clink. King pushes open the door, cackling, and runs through.

Eda: Come on, before he hurts himself.

Something zaps in the background.

King: Ow!

Lincoln: Too late.

Contraband Vault, The Conformatorium, Boiling Isles, Demon Realm

Luz and Eda follow King in. In the inside of the room, It is mostly empty save a giant glowing pillar in the center. King rubs his skull before charging at the pillar headfirst, succeeding only in launching himself backwards.

Eda: We have some humans, remember?

King: Oh, yeah.

Lincoln: Ready?

Luz takes a breath. She puts a hand against the pillar, but nothing happens.

Luz: Hey guys, nothing's happening.

Eda: That's strange, that door should have opened, or else we're in the wrong room.

King: (disappointed) Aw. So we came all this way, just to find we didn't have to come all this way!

Lincoln approaches the wall, reaching out to touch it. Suddenly the pillars glow blue in response to his action, surprising not only King and Luz, but Eda as well. A strange golden mark appears on the pillar, taking the shape of an alchemy transmutation circle. The design was of a circle with a square inside that has four circles between them at each corner, with a few more circles inside the square with a dot at the center, the four circles each had a strange symbol, the center showing an unknown crest.

Lincoln grabs Luz's hand before walking through it.

Eda: (surprised) Luz wasn't able to open the way, but Lincoln did it on his first try. And that crest... Is it possible that he is one of them? But how?


Inside are piles of what can only be described as an untouched treasury with a sea of relics creating solid ground: everything from books to skulls, artifacts to weapons, armor to random junk like a dead fish in a tank. Atop the central one is a glowing crown. The two were about to go up the mountain of antiques but Lincoln spots something gleaming from the far side of the vault.

Lincoln: Luz, go up for his crown, I'll go up on the other side.

She nods and begins to climb the mountain. Lincoln goes around to investigate the source of the luster. It was a broadsword held by a masked statue wearing black, gold and red plate armor in its arms, kneeling before him as if to bestow a gift upon the one worthy enough to reach it. The sword has a crimson grip with a golden pommel for a hilt and the blade itself was made of a powerful form of metal, its fuller carved with multiple unknown runes on both sides from its rain guard to its edge. The face of a phoenix is superimposed on its cross guard and one of an owl on the pommel itself.

Lincoln: Wow, awesome. It's just like the one from my dream.

Unknown: Take it.

Lincoln: (looks around for the source of the voice) Huh?

Unknown: Take it.

Lincoln: Who said that? (turns to the statue)

Unknown: Take it.

Lincoln looks at the sword for a moment before grabbing the blade by its grip hilt. His mind's eye is shot to being in the center of an assembly of people just like him, a sea of stars above him. The statue is now standing before his kneeling figure.

Unknown: Do you, (untranslatable name), solemnly swear to uphold the hopes and dreams of our people, in sickness and in health, and protect the realms from all who seek to harm it and its denizens for as long as you live?

Lincoln: (mouth moves on its own accord) I, (untranslatable name), solemnly swear to uphold the hopes and dreams of our people, in sickness and in health, and protect the realms from all who seek to harm it and its denizens for as long as I live?

Unknown: And even if our kind walk upon the edge of extinction, will you promise to safeguard our legacy to future generations and the resurrection of the Azarathian race?

Lincoln: (mouth moves again) With all my heart and soul.

Unknown: The Ceremony of Transcendance is hereby complete. Take this blade as your birthright, young one. Raise your head, my child and rise. Brothers and sisters, friends and family, let us rejoice in welcoming our lost son to his one true home.

The crowd begins to roar in applause, some of whom Lincoln recognizes as the members of his family who always stood by his side all these years before he was thrust back into reality.

He looks back down to the sword, the statue gone and the weapon now in his hands. It feels so light, but he does not dare run his finger on its sharp edge.

Lincoln: (looks at his reflection through the blade, not noticing another in the reflection) Huh, it looks good on me. Is it me or does this feel right?

A sound of clinking gold makes him turn to find the same statue now carrying a red and gold scabbard fitting for the blade. He sheathes the sword and puts it on his back, climbing out the mountain to catch up with Luz for King's crown. It wasn't long before he catches up with him and they reach the summit, gazing upon the object of their quest with big smiles. However, those smiles invert when they see the crown for what it truly is.

Luz: Wait a second.

Lincoln: Is that a...


The two return to the contraband vault, Luz holding a Burger Queen paper crown and both looking incredibly frustrated.

King: My crown! (Jumps in place before taking the crown from Luz and placing it on his head.) Yes. Yes! I can feel my powers returning! You, there. Nightmare critter. (Points to a stuffed rabbit with one button eye falling out of a box.) I shall call you Francois, and you shall be a minion in my army of darkness. Ha-ha! (Picks up the rabbit.)

Lincoln: (whispers to Luz) I prefer Bun-Bun but I'll let him have this one. (Luz chuckles softly, nodding in agreement)

Luz: That crown doesn't give him any powers, does it?

Eda: Uh, no. Nice sword, snowball.

Lincoln: (Luz glares at Eda.) Thanks, definitely a better one than the ones everyone else back home called me. So why exactly did we do all this then?

Eda: Oh, look at us, Luz. King and I don't have much in this world. We only have each other. So if that dumb crown is important to him, it's important to me. And besides, us weirdos have to stick together, you know?

Lincoln smiles and Luz grins and blushes.

Eda: Well, we owe you one. Now, let's get out of here before the warden finds us and loses his head.

Warden Wrath: Too late.

Warden Wrath's hand turns into a blade, and with an easy swing he decapitates Eda. Lincoln catches her head and Luz screams.

Eda: (Sticking her tongue out like a bad fake corpse.) Ow! Oh, I hate it when that happens.

They scream louder and longer before the feed cuts to commercial.

Line break here.

One commercial break later, Luz is still screaming while Lincoln and Eda stare at her oddly.

Lincoln: The fear factor doesn't really stick around once you get used to it. You should read about the Headless Horseman, Eda. I think you two can relate with each other.

Luz: Eda! Are you okay?

Eda: Yeah. This just happens when you get older.

Luz: Does it?

Warden Wrath: Finally, (Transforms his hand back into a hand.) I have you cornered, Eda the Owl Lady. (Takes King's crown.) And I see you recruited some new friends. Since I'm in a good mood, I'm willing to throw you all in the same cell once this is all over.

King: Weh?

Warden Wrath walks closer to Eda and Luz. King follows him, his arms up and jumping, reaching for his crown.

Warden Wrath: My guards could never get you, but I knew if I took your pet's toy, you'd come running. (Crumples the crown.)

King: (falls to his knees) No! My power!

Lincoln hugs him, staring angrily at this prison host and his associates.

Eda: What do you want with me? I've never actually broken any of your stupid laws... in front of you.

Warden Wrath: I want you... (Pulls out a bouquet of flowers.) to go out with me.

Eda: Wha...?

Luz: (Disgusted.) What?

Lincoln: Huh, roses. I guess everyone has a type.

Guard #1: You can do it!

Guard #2: Go, boss!

Warden Wrath: (Shoots the guards a thumbs-up.) You've always eluded our capture. You've always been the one who got away. I found that alluring.

Luz: I hate everything you're saying right now.

Lincoln: At least he's trying to make an effort, Luz. Who knows if this is one of those "finding true love after giving up on it long ago" archetypes?

Eda: Not helping, Lincoln!

Warden Wrath: You stay out of this!

Warden Wrath tosses the bouquet over his shoulder, turning his now free hand into tentacles to grab Luz and hold her above the ground.

Lincoln: Hey, Metamorpho! Leave my sister-friend alone!

He puts Eda's head down, unsheathes his sword and is ready to attack him, but the Warden simply grabs him with his free hand, throwing him over to the side of the area, slamming him into the wall making lose both his breath and his grip.

Warden Wrath: So how about it, Owl Lady? (Picks Eda's head up by the hair.) The most powerful witch of the Boiling Isles and the feared Warden Wrath. We'd be the strongest power couple ever. I mean, it's—it's not like you can say no right now.

Lincoln gets up and he and Eda look up at Luz, who's struggling to free herself from the warden's grasp. He looks to King, who gets picked up by one of the guards and also struggles for freedom. Suddenly something breaks inside of him. His hands electrify with golden lightning and his eyes glow completely yellow, his pupil brighter. The sword rises by itself and sets itself in his hand.

Eda: (Sighs.) All right, Warden. You win. I'd just like to say something first. Come closer. No. Just come a little bit closer. Just... Yeah, that's good. (Blows a raspberry.)

Warden Wrath yells and nearly drops Luz, who also yells. He lets go of his other arm and wipes Eda's spit off his mask, before picking her back up. Eda laughs.

Warden Wrath: Impudent wench! Don't you know how many germs are in your mouth? Blegh!

Eda: Get over it. You had your guards stalk me, and then you cut off my head. I am not going out with you.

Warden Wrath: If you don't accept, then I have no choice but to des—

Lincoln: Hey, weirdo hater!

All of them turned their gaze to Lincoln, whose body was now pulsing with a golden power just as the intruders appeared surprised to see him like this.

Lincoln: (echoed voice) LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!

Turning his sword into a spear, he throws it as a bolt of lightning straight through his chestin tandem with Luz hitting him in the head with Eda's staff. He loses his grip hurtling to the other end of the chamber with a loud crash.

Eda: (Chuckles.) Nice!

The four guards step next to Eda's head and go after Lincoln. She glares at them as her body walks up behind two of them and drags their hoods over their eyes. Lincoln calls back the blade and decapitates all four in a single stroke. Eda's body checks her head just in case. All three were impressed by this instinctive display of power, but Luz even more so, who has never seen Lincoln do something like this before.

Luz: Okay, we're going now.

Luz runs forward, grabbing Eda's head. Eda's body frees King from the guard's grasp, the young boy ripping his head off for good measure. Luz grabs her by the waist and they all mount the staff. Owlbert unfurls his wings and hoots.

Luz: Expecto... flying? Magicus... escapicus!

Warden Wrath grunts as he gets up from his shocking ordeal, the hole in his chest reforming with purple ooze.

Eda: Gun it, magic stick!

The staff takes off. Warden Wrath clamors to his feet.

Warden Wrath: Owl Lady, I won't let you get away again!

His arms transform into bundles of tentacles, which he uses to chase after the staff. They all fly past the prison cells, Warden Wrath in hot pursuit. Luz and Lincoln notice that they are zeroing in on the lever keeping Katya's cell shut.

Luz: Eda, lend me a hand!

Eda places her hand against Luz's and Lincoln's against Eda. They open the cells of the three prisoners Luz and King had talked to earlier. All of them look excited, but are more excited when all the levers in the prison glow and forced down pulling open every cell door, freeing all of the inmates. They burst through an outer door high in the center of the Conformatorium with a yell from Luz, then plummet.

Warden Wrath exits right behind them, front flipping off the pillar. The staff and Warden Wrath fall toward the ground. Warden Wrath extends one of his tentacles, hitting the very back of the staff and launching Eda, Lincoln, Luz, and King off of it. They roll when they hit the ground, and Warden Wrath steps in front of them, his hand shifting into a blade again and all of the guards amassing behind him.

King: Ow, my bones!

Eda: Lincoln, Luz... (Reattaches her head, then reaches into her hair and pulls out the key to the portal door.) go back to the human world. (Hands Luz the key, then runs at Warden Wrath.)

Luz: What about you guys?

Lincoln: We're not leaving you to die here all on your own! I refuse to go back to the life of an exile!

King: (Stands and runs to join Eda.) If you think this guy is bad, you shoulda seen her last boyfriend!

Eda: Not my boyfriend. (Grabs King and jumps back towards the two) Let's go! Let's go! (Puts Luz and Lincoln on her cane)

Lincoln: Forget it, Edalyn! I'm staying by your side no matter what happens!

Luz: But—But I—

Eda is taken aback by what he says, then slaps the bottom of the staff, sending it into the air, Lincoln's eyes returning to normal in the process. Warden Wrath takes off his mask to reveal a face that's mostly mouth, which opens to breathe fire. Eda expertly draws two spell circles, one that catches the fire and one that launches it right back. Wrath slams into the wall of the Conformatorium. Luz whimpers as she tries to not fall off the staff. Wrath stands up, brandishing his blade-hands and running at Eda again. The three prisoners peek out of the hole that he left in the wall. Luz and Lincoln fly down to talk to them.

Luz: Why are you guys just standing there? This is your chance to escape!

Eye-Eating Prisoner: The warden will catch us. He always does.

Katya: We belong here.

Tiny Nose: (now with a black eye) Self-doubt is a pwison you can never escape fwom.

The prisoners mutter with each other in agreement.

Luz: So, you have a different way of doing things, a different way of seeing things. That might make you weird, but it also makes you awesome. Don't you see?

Katya: Why are you helping us?

Luz: Because us weirdos have to stick together. (Pulls her hood on and mounts the staff.) And nobody should be punished for who they are.

The three prisoners all cheer. Luz turns the staff around.

Unknown: Don't forget about us!

They turn to see all of the Conformatorium's "guests" now assembled before them as an army.

Lincoln: We're proud to have by our side on this night! (turns to the prison, his eyes glowing gold again) Let us march forth and make sure this place never sees its next dawn! (The assembled roar in unison)

Luz: Now, let's get 'em!

They all follow Luz and Lincoln, his aura now flowing like a cape and spreading over the inmates.

Prison Yard, The Conformatorium, Boiling Isles, Demon Realm

Back to the prison. Eda being thrown against the ground, and King being thrown into her arms a second later. Warden Wrath looms over them.

Warden Wrath: No more running away, Owl Lady. Today I capture you once and for all!

King whimpers, and hides his face in Eda's chest. A warcry sounds across the grounds as they turn to see Luz and Lincoln, the latter forming mail armor and a plumed, masked helm, now leading an army of prisoners, many of whom are now unleashing a similar aura and garb to Lincoln's.

Luz: Go, go, go, go!

Lincoln: For Victory! For Glory! For the Realm!

The trio of prisoners scream as they barrel into Wrath, the others crashing into the guards like a raging sea. Luz flies behind them while Lincoln and other prisoners cut off the guards escape, the latter reaching Eda and King

Eda: Luz? Lincoln? (begins noticing someone else in his place) Draven?

Eye-Eating Prisoner: (While shoving Wrath.) I eat my own eyes!

Tiny Nose: (Trips Wrath.) I think of the world as a twiangle!

Katya: (Holding Wrath down.) And I practice the ancient art of fanfiction!

Tiny Nose joins Katya in holding Warden Wrath down while the Eye-Eating Prisoner grabs his arms and ties them together. He then flips Wrath onto his stomach, so he can see Luz descending on Eda's staff and Lincoln floating on his own.

Warden Wrath: You two! Who do you think you are?

Luz: (Points at Wrath.) Do not underestimate us, Warden Wrath, for I am Luz, the human, warrior of peace. (Wind blows her hair.)

Lincoln: And I am (garbled voice), last of my race and Aspect of Valor! (eyes turn back to normal) Now eat this, sucka! Luz, now!

Luz pulls the firecracker from her book report out of her messenger bag, tossing it into the air before hitting it with Eda's staff. The firecracker lands in Wrath's flaming mouth, blocking his fire breath

Luz: Lincoln! Storm of Independence!

Lincoln begins free falling, throwing another lightning bolt into his mouth to ignite it and make it go off, sending fireworks into the air. He runs away, humiliated, fireworks still going off in his mouth, while the prisoners cheer.

Tiny Nose: (Jumping up and down.) We are victorious!

Lincoln: Congratulations to you all! But this is not the end, my friends. Beyond these gates lie those responsible for your imprisonment and the precept of capture. Instead, make these forsaken halls your own! Build bonds, forge friendships and together we shall break the bonds of faith that were placed upon you all! Now we must take our leave of you. Good luck and good riddance!

Eda, with King on her shoulder, walks closer to them, putting a hand on the humans' shoulder, Lincoln's reverting back again.

Eda: Ha, ha! We came to get a paper crown and left as liberators and founders of a new society. Not a bad job guys, not bad at all. But what was all that, Lincoln? You almost looked like some witch-warrior back there!

King: Please! At best, he was probably fighting as a demon, A demon who shall serve me as my right hand!

Lincoln: (confused) Really? Thanks, guys. All I remember was leading them back here and setting those fireworks, but nothing too concrete. I'm just glad I was able to give these people the chance to be who they truly are instead of kneeling before those who wish to see them broken.

Eda, King and Luz look in silence at him, then to the prisoners and back at him. They think about his words and nod in agreement.

King: That was actually one of her better breakups.

Eda: Not a breakup. Anyway, let's bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.

The four fly off on the staff, fireworks still going off behind them, leaving the prisoners to their new home.


Living Room, The Owl House, Boiling Isles, Demon Realm

Back in the living room of the Owl House, where Eda leans her staff against the couch.

Lincoln: Wow, that was a crazy day. And I live with ten sisters and a town who probably hate guts just for being myself.

Luz: I know, a world of magic, demons and witches. We went on a mission to retrieve a paper crown, fight against a monster warden, liberate and create a society of weirdos and outcasts, and you got a cool sword out of it that does magic. (Hugs him emotionally) Just like you can.

Lincoln: Ha, ha. I still don't know what happened back there outside the vault. I always felt that since you associated with me, and thought and acted as I do, I felt that you were in danger of being called a freak like me or worse. When I saw you crying out like that, something snapped and the blade awoke somehow. (looks to the sword) Perhaps that power I used back there came from the blade itself.

Eda: Actually the sword is used as a medium like my staff; to control the magic we focus on to perform spells. It's not the source of an Azarathian's potential. Also, ten sisters? That sounds like a nightmare I never want to have.

Lincoln: Aza-what-now?

Eda: It took me a while to nail it down after you opened that vault door. It's who you are, more specifically, it's what you are. The Azarathians were the first witches that called this realm home, and were in a league all on their own. Their magic was based on the five elemental spells that make up our world: Water, Earth, Fire, Air and Lightning. Each member of their species was able to control one or more of those powers. But they were all suddenly wiped out in some great cataclysm. By our understanding, no one has ever seen a living breathing Azarathian, unless you count for the remnants of their society, and those who descended from them, until today, until you came back home.

Lincoln: Wow, so I'm not human. That means I must have been adopted by my parents when I was very young. That also means that what some of my sisters said were true.

Luz: Well that explains your ears, I thought it was some awesome mutation that made you look like an elf. But don't beat yourself up about all this. You went head to head with Wrath, led an army of inmates, founded you.

Eda: Well, a deal's a deal. Let's get you home. (Snaps fingers.)

The key flies out of Luz's bag and into Eda's hand. She presses the eye, and the portal door unfolds itself in front of the fireplace. Luz walks up to it, then hugs herself and turns back to look at Eda and King. King looks at the ground, visibly sad. Luz reaches into her bag. All the while, Lincoln thinks back to his past. He looks back to the door to his adopted homeworld. The world that rejected him for every last one of his faults, the world where half of his family, including his adopted father rejected him for all that he is, was and would be. Despite the sanctuary that his adoptive mother, Leni, Luna, Lucy and Lily provided, Earth rejected his very existence just because he was different.

Luz: Before I go... (Holds out the head of her Azura doll.) I know it's not the same, but... (Removes Azura's crown.) a king shouldn't be without a crown.

King: (Accepts the crown and places it on his head.) This shall suffice. You there, plant! You are now under my command. (He points to something and walks off screen.)

Plant: (tiny voice) Sir, yes sir!

King: Wah!

Lincoln is moving his index finger and throwing his voice, earning a good laugh from Eda.

Eda: (Grabs the Azura book off the table and hands it to Luz.) Oh, and don't forget this.

Luz takes it, and the pamphlet for Reality Check Summer Camp that's on top of it, and walks toward the portal. Lincoln stands to the side, letting her pass. He stares at Luz, Eda and King, who were all looking at him.

Luz: Lincoln?

Lincoln: (solemnly) Luz, I'm sorry. I know we promised to always have each other's back. But I think I'm going to stay here.

All: What?

Lincoln: Before coming to this place, I never really thought I felt my homeworld was my real home. I was probably in the same position as Eda and everyone back at the Conformatorium; exiled, outcast from everywhere I went, denied the humanity given to them by Earth's people. But being here today made me feel like I returned home from being kidnapped for over a decade. If I really am an Azarathian as you say, then I will stay here and control, to become a caster that my people and real family can be proud of.

Luz stares at the pamphlet before putting it under the Azura book. She pauses in front of the door, looking at it. She looks back down at her book, then up, at a mirror above the fireplace. Luz gasps. She holds up the book, on the cover of which is Azura in the foreground, with an older witch looking at a dog/cat creature and a divine warrior in the background. She lowers the book to reveal the mirror showing a very similar image, Lincoln, King and Eda in the same positions as the creature and the older witch, the warrior, and herself in the foreground between them. She brightens and turns around.

Luz: Okay. I know you got your head cut off, and we started some kind of prison riot and Lincoln was an Azarathian, but this was the most fun I've ever had.

Eda blinks owlishly in surprise.

Luz: We don't fit in at home, you don't fit in here. If we stay, we could not fit in together. (She looks at the pamphlet for Reality Check one last time, then crumples it.) I'm not going back to summer camp.

Eda: (Chuckles.) What's summer camp? What are we talking about here?

Luz: I want to stay and become a witch. Like you. (Holds her book up to Eda.) And Azura. Besides, someone has to keep him out of trouble.

Lincoln rubs the back of his head.

Eda: (Laughing.) What? All right, that's crazy. (Pushes Luz's book down.) Humans can't become witches.

Luz: Maybe that's because they haven't tried. If you teach me to become a witch, I'll do anything you want.

King: (Pulling at Eda's dress.) Let her stay! (Whispers.) She can make us snacks.

Eda looks at Lincoln for a moment and he is replaced by the image of a downright miserable adult who looks almost identical to Lincoln before switching back.

Eda: (Smiles and picks King up.) Well, I could use a hand or four keeping this goofball out of the cupboards. (turns to him, mentally) It's him, without a doubt, first being an Azarathian and now this. (Reality) All right. I'll teach you two how to be witches. But you have to work for me before you learn any spells. Deal?

Eda extends her hand to him, Lincoln hesitates, then shakes her hand. She holds out her other hand to Luz. She looks at it before grinning and crushing the three in a hug.

Eda: Gah! What's going on?

Lincoln: It's called a hug, Eda. Be warned that Luz is a gifted hugger.

King: Too tight! Too tight!


Storage Room, The Owl House, Boiling Isles, Demon Realm

Nighttime

Luz opens the creaking door to a storage room. She unrolls a blue and white sleeping bag and, now wearing pajamas, consisting of a grey sleeveless top, purple shorts with an orange moon and star, and white-and-indigo socks, throws herself on it, before turning over and taking a picture of her and her mom out of her messenger bag. She rubs her thumb over the glass before placing the frame right next to her pillow. Her phone vibrates, and she grabs it and turns it on, revealing a bat-shaped cover. A message from "Mom" reads: How's summer camp? Luz's expression falls, and she moves her phone away from her face.

King: (Clears his throat, steps into view while holding Francois.) Your sleep cocoon looks fluffy.

Luz sits up and pats the sleeping bag. King curls up at the bottom below her feet and falls asleep. Luz smiles at him before replying to her mom: "I think I'm gonna like it here". Smiling, she puts her phone down, turns to the side, and falls asleep.


Lincoln meanwhile is staring at the ceiling in his new room. His sleepwear is an orange nightshirt with matching pants. He never once imagined that getting expelled from school would lead him down a path of finding a new world and that he is one of the last members of a nigh-powerful species. Lincoln pulls his phone from his pants pocket and looks at the newest message from his adoptive mother. "Mom: How was your first day at camp?" Lincoln thinks about what to say for a moment before giving her a response: "I think it will be an interesting few months."


Downstairs in the living room, Eda is lying on the sofa, contemplating all that has happened since the arrival of the two teenagers, but most exclusively Lincoln himself. She sighs, pulling out an old photo from inside her hair, caressing her hand against the picture.

Eda: Draven, after all this time, your son has returned home, alive and well. I was right about him though, he's just like me, an alien in his own home back on Earth. But now he's back home and I can't afford to lose him, never again. But if he has managed to endure for fourteen years, then it's possible Miwa is alive too. But where in the Isles could she be?


The view zooms out to the exterior of the Owl House. The giant stained glass eye above the door blinks.


Forest, Boiling Isles, Demon Realm

Somewhere in the Isles' wilderness, Warden Wrath and the few remaining guards that escaped with him are still on the run from the Conformatorium and its new masters. After reaching a sufficient distance, they stop to take a breather.

Warden Wrath: (coughs out some burned out fireworks) I think we're in the clear for the moment. Rest up boys, we march to the palace at dawn.

Guard #1: (angry) We don't need to rest, we need to warn the Emperor about that boy. He made the Owl Lady herself look like a chump tonight.

Guard #2: (doubtful) Even if we manage to reach his throne, who among his ranks would believe us? He would probably mock us for losing the prison so incompetently.

Guard #3: (scared) I'm more concerned about what happens if she manages to learn about this failure. I hear breaking souls is one of her favorite pastimes.

The crack of a nearby stick puts the already on-edge guards against each other's backs. One of the guards breaks formation and runs

Jan 8Guard #2: What was that? Was it one of those beasts?

Guard #1: The animals here usually run in packs, whoever did this is alone so we have the numbers advantage.

Guard #2: And look what that did for us!

A blur takes away one of the guards, a swarm of hands grab the other, dragging him beneath the ground. Warden Wrath keeps looking around, listening. The footsteps are too light and moving too fast to be a beast, But its movements are too hard and too precise to be one of the convicts.

Warden Wrath: Show yourself you coward! First I'll make you pay for my comrades' deaths. Then I will hunt down and slaughter the Owl Lady and all of her little pets!

A new voice calls out from the darkness to answer her demands.

Unknown: Even if you could find your prey, it would be useless. You are too weak to face Lady Clawthorne alone. And you saw what happened to your entire staff back at the prison. The outrealmers have a far greater destiny than you could possibly imagine. And you will not interfere with their fate.

He feels someone tap his shoulder, turning to find no one. The voice keeps dancing around, making it difficult to keep track of where it's coming from.

Unknown: But do not worry, demon. The act of murder is not on my to do list and your friends may prove useful with the proper stimuli, as will you.

Warden Wrath: What makes you think that I will betray our Emperor! I would rather die than side with a criminal like you. I will put you down, just like all those before me.

Another sound makes him see the same statue from the vault, standing tall and staring straight at him. He forms twin blades form his hands and charges. But before he could strike a blow, something grabs and he is raised above the ground.

Unknown: That would be entertaining I suppose, and fortunately for you, you have all the time in the world to plan this theoretical action. (The statue raises itself, placing his arms upon his shoulders, revealing himself to a person this entire time.) But I believe it is safe to assume that there is no force in this realm that can match the power I possess. A power that I will now share with you.

Its eyes begin to glow, soon enveloping the screaming Warden in its light.

TO BE CONTINUED

Line break here

References

The Chronicles of Narnia - The episode title is a reference to C.S. Lewis's epic fantasy novel The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Coincidentally, Disney adapted that novel into the first film of The Chronicles of Narnia film series.

Gravity Falls - A hat resembling the one worn by Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls can be seen among the items in Eda's shop.

The Good Place - After running away from Eda, Luz says "Did I die?! Am I in the Bad Place?" in which the "Bad Place" is afterlife location in the TV series.

Burger King - The Burger Queen cardboard crown is a play on Burger King, which also gives away cardboard crowns.

Pokémon - The bear that is seen when Eda is closing her shop looks like Snorlax.

Harry Potter - Luz says "Expecto, Magicus... escapicus!" which is the first incantation. Expecto is an incantation for the Patronus charm: Expecto Patronum.

Marvel: The blade that Lincoln now carries is inspired by the Sword of Torunn, wielded by the daughter of Thor Odinson on Earth-555326 (Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow)