Ah, a rest day. Let's take it slow. Thanks for reviewing, OmniIBIBUltraInstinctGodzilla, lordgemini and Gucci Mane LaFlare.

I finally managed to get Bridgette on her own on the morning rest day and told her that I wanted to finally say something to Leshawna, but I didn't know how to do it. She just asked me, "Do you want moral support to do it? Or do you want to say it alone?"

I sighed. "I don't know. It would probably be better if I was alone so no one will see me break down when I get rejected, but it might be easier to have people around me who already know what I'm going to say. But I know I don't want Heather or Lindsay to be anywhere near. I don't know how Lindsay would react – she probably doesn't know what a lesbian is – but she'll probably tell Heather. If I get rejected, she'll have a field day with that, and if I don't…well, I can just hear half the dyke jokes she'll start throwing at me."

"I don't think she's homophobic," Bridgette said thoughtfully, "But if she thinks it'll hurt you, maybe she'll make an exception. She does seem to have it in for you more now."

"Probably she thinks because I'm shy, I'm also weak," I said glumly. "Remember, Gwen said she was Heather's favourite target before? Now she's swapped to me. She only really went for Gwen because she's quieter than Leshawna."

"And because she thinks getting to Leshawna is best done by getting to her friends," Bridgette reminded me. "Anyway, back to the subject. If you want me with you, I'll be there. And if she rejects you, I'll be there, but…" she looked at me and smiled, "I think you have a chance. Since she knew Gwen and I had been trying to find out about Harold's poem, she sort of mentioned she was still getting notes. I mean, I don't think she knows for sure it's you, but I think she might have guessed. And if she has, she's not…well, I think she's feeling positive about it…but she basically said she needed to hear it from them personally to make any decisions. So she wants you to tell her."

"And Gwen said she doesn't really care what gender she dates," I added softly, "So at least she won't reject me for that…" I looked up properly, stood up, and said in a strong voice "I'm going to do it. She'd want me to be as brave as Harold was, too, so I'll just have to forget who's around and who isn't."

"If you want to do it without anyone around, I think she'll understand that, too," Bridgette reassured me, "But that's true. And," she added hesitantly, "I don't know what she thinks of you in that sense, but I'm pretty sure that if it doesn't happen, she'll still want to be friends."

"I'm not afraid of that," I said straight out. "I'm more afraid of me being the one who's awkward if I get rejected. But worst-case scenario, she rejects me and we get to the finale together and have super awkward times while you jury guys are voting."

Bridgette giggled. "I'm kind of hoping that won't happen, and not just because I won't win," she laughed. "I wouldn't know who to vote for. I feel like Leshawna's a good competitor, but you've overcome more – you have way more confidence now than you did on the first day."

"You'd vote for her – she's part of the reason I've been developing it," I admitted shyly. "She's so confident and brave herself, I started forcing myself to be brave and I guess I picked up some real confidence from it." It's true I was a bit more confident. I was still shy and a bit quiet, but it felt like I was definitely able to look people in the eye more and stand a bit taller. And if I could do that, I could tell a girl I liked her, right?

I didn't manage to do it that day. We sat together at dinner, but then we almost always did. The mess hall tables were pretty much changed since the merge. Heather and Lindsay would always sit together at mealtimes. I'd always choose to sit with the other girls, but sometimes Bridgette would sit with Geoff instead of us. DJ sometimes sat with us, or he'd be with the guys. Now, with Duncan gone and Bridgette with Geoff that day, he and Owen both joined us. Let me tell you one thing. I'd learned since the merge that Owen was cheerful, fun and kind and even if you didn't make friends with him, he'd make friends with you without even trying. But he happened to be sitting opposite me, and that was an experience I'd never recommend to anyone. He had his mouth open, and he had no problems with talking with his mouth full.

"Ew!" I complained when it happened for the second time. "Owen, can you at least wait to talk once you've finished a mouthful? Say it, don't spray it!"

Owen swallowed and smiled sheepishly. "Oops. Sorry, Peyton."

I had to smile back. He was always happy to admit his mistakes, too. I had to admire that.

I had been spending slightly less time with DJ since the merge, so in the evening, I talked over the being too shy to tell someone you like them problem with him, too.

"I'm not that experienced in dating," DJ admitted. "I mean, I've had crushes, and I have had girls ask me out, but I've never actually had a girlfriend. Most of what I know is stuff that applies just to guys, not girls. But," he paused before saying, "Were you going to tell me who it is? Because I'm pretty sure I know already, but if you don't want to tell me, I won't guess."

I sighed. "If I tell her, the whole camp will know anyway. And Bridgette already guessed it, and so did Gwen. It's Leshawna. Just don't say anything to her until I'm ready. I'm sure she wants it to come from me, anyway."

"Of course!" DJ assured me. "Secret's safe with me. But I sort of noticed before, so I thought it might be. Complementing elements."
I just shrugged. "Well, some of the things I don't have are things I noticed and liked before I really knew her. But I like her even more now, ever since I started getting to know her. Did you know she volunteers as sort of a big sister figure to troubled kids? I mean, why wouldn't I love someone who does that in her free time?"

"Well, as long as love doesn't mean your kind of love, I would," DJ joked. "Anyway, I don't think you have too much to worry about. You two are friends already, so she'll go easy on you if she isn't interested, I know that much. Just…when you do it, just pick a quiet moment and just take a deep breath and say it."

So I took DJ's advice. I wrote one last note that evening, writing: I don't know if I'll have the guts to say it all tomorrow, but I'll try anyway. If I lose my nerve at the last minute, I swear I'll still be at the mess hall at breakfast, admiring you and trying to get my nerve up, and I'll find some way to tell you who I am, even if I don't say it. And I won't even care if anyone teases me, because even if you reject me in front of everyone, I know you wouldn't let me get picked on for it, when I might be too sad to think about defending myself. Love, the girl that's been falling for you for five weeks.

I figured, if I got too scared, that was enough. And all I could hope is that it would be.

To be fair, Leshawna only shares the cabin with five girls – there's not much choice now the note has confirmed that the note-writer is a girl. Well, we'll just have to wait and see what Peyton does.