Luan was sitting on her new bed, alone, grumbling and resting her face on her knees, her arms wrapped around them, with the blinds on the windows pulled down, casting the room in sullen darkness. She hadn't heard from Lucy and the others since last night and things around her home were strangely quiet. She had plenty of time to cool down, but that didn't change the fact that she had been unjustly grounded thanks to that vile Kathleen, after her own mother refused to believe her.
She had no one to confide in, and just thinking about Kathleen made her blood boil anew. Letting out a cry of anger, Luan threw her pillow against the wall, before suddenly hearing footsteps.
Her door wasn't fully closed, so she took a peek and saw her father walking past her, fidgeting and clearly on edge. Luan wondered what was going on?
Lynn Sr. passed by Lisa's room, unaware that a pair of glowing eyes were watching as well as scanning him. Fenton saw that the man wasn't heading to disturb his master and quietly closed the door.
Rita was sitting at her writing desk within her bedroom, working on another novel. Ever so often, she would glance at the calendar on the wall, where the date of June 29th was encircled by a thick red marker.
She sighed forlornly and turned back to her writing, trying to focus on it. What was she expecting at this point? It was already 6 p.m. and nothing happened. She tried not to be angry at him, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. That their hectic and overwhelming lives had made him forget again. At least the kids were away for the day, which allowed her to spend it in peace for once.
She heard a knock on the door and closed her novel, "Who is it?"
"Um…hello, honey?" Lynn Sr. said in a timorous manner as he walked in. His wife rolled her eyes.
"What is it, Lynn? Where have you been all day?" she asked.
"I…had some errands to run. I hope I didn't barge in at a bad time?" he said, eyeing the novel.
"No…not really." Rita said indifferently. "I'm not exactly brimming with inspiration at the moment."
She hadn't felt inspired for eons and was well aware that her writings had become little more than autobiographical outlets to vent out her personal frustration.
"Good….eh, I mean… I'm sorry, but don't worry." Lynn chuckled awkwardly. "You'll get over that writer's block in no time, but if you're not preoccupied at the moment, mind helping me out with a tincy dilemma?"
Rita exhaled. She really was not in the mood for it. "Can't it wait until…"
"It will only take a minute, Rita. I just need you to come with me." Lynn insisted, gently grabbing her by the elbow.
Rita opted not to bicker and just went along, following him downstairs.
"What's the problem? Where are we going?"
"To the backyard."
Rita arched an eyebrow. "Don't tell me Charles sniffed his way to caffeine again and dug up holes all over the yard?"
Lynn couldn't help but chortle. "Oh, that would be bad, but no. Just follow me."
They reached the kitchen and Lynn chivalrously opened the door, gesturing for Rita to go first.
Confused, she stepped outside, briefly getting blinded by the sunlight, before smelling sizzling meat and seeing a small crowd of familiar faces.
"Surprise, baby girl!" Albert cheered and the guests followed suit.
"What the? What's going on?" Rita blurted, her mind struggling to keep up.
"Happy anniversary, Rita!" she heard Lynn and turned around to see him holding up a heart-shaped chocolate box and a bouquet of red roses with a card tucked between them.
His presents were about as generic as you could get, but nonetheless, they reduced Rita to tears.
"It's their anniversary?" Luan wondered as she observed the party from her window. Was this the reason she heard her father screaming bloody murder last night?
"Lynn…you remembered?" was all Rita could say as her heart melted.
"I…of course I did…" he replied tentatively.
The teary-eyed Rita asked, "It's just…how did you…"
Acting fast, Albert intervened by throwing his big arms over their shoulders and letting out a hearty laugh.
"Okay, enough with the schmaltzy stuff, who has a hankering for a big T-bone steak!" he joked and Lynn Sr. and Rita's friends cheered for the couple.
Not far away, Lincoln and Lynn were peeking over the rim of the fence, both sporting satisfied smiles before crouching down and high-fiving each other.
"It worked." Lynn was overjoyed. "Mom looks so happy."
"Yes, she does." Lincoln nodded, very relieved that this incoming disaster had been nipped in the bud. "Now, let's go. We gotta get back to Ryan's place before he accidentally kills Lola."
"Hold on." Lynn grabbed his elbow. "Let's keep an eye on things."
"There's no need to, Pop-Pop will be there to help dad out." Lincoln reminded her. "We can't risk being spotted. We're not supposed to be here."
"I know…" Lynn looked down. "But I just want to see how mom will react to the whole…conspiracy business."
Lincoln grimaced, being reminded of that. "I don't think dad will tell her that right now, that would just spoil the party."
"How about I grab us each a cold one?" they flinched as they heard their grandfather's voice just a few feet away.
"Oh, I don't know about that?" Lynn Sr. said with uncertainty when Albert slapped his back.
"Lighten up, Lynn. This is an adult party, we won't have to worry about the kids today. I'll be back in a jiffy…or as soon as I remember where I hid it from Rita." Albert quipped and walked off.
Lynn and Lincoln took another peek and saw their father and his friend Kotaro having a toast as they bumped their lemonade cans.
"Bottom's up." Lynn Sr. took a swig.
"So, is it true that you got yourself a brand-new van, Lynn?" the Japanese man asked. "I don't know how you could afford it on your budget but the guys at the VS sure will be jealous."
"Yes, I did. But…it's nothing too fancy, just a run-of-the-mill van that happens to be brand spanking new." Lynn Sr. tried to downplay it. "It's a gift a friend of Lola's gave us."
Kotaro cringed at the mention of one of the Loud girls. "Ah…yes? About your kids? They are someplace else right now? Right?"
"Of course they are." Lynn Sr. tried to laugh it off. "My invitations contain no false advertisement, no sirree. And neither will my menus."
Lincoln saw his sister looking ashamed and he knew why. Last time they had seen Mr. Kotaro, Rita had to replace a third of his teeth and flip the bill for it, courtesy of a bowling ball colliding with his face.
Kotaro evidently hadn't forgotten about that little mishap, as he wiped the sweat off his face with a tissue. "Not that I don't trust your word, I'm just wondering how you got all of them to take a trip together? If I'm not mistaken, they don't share many common interests?"
"No, they don't, but this isn't exactly a trip, per se." Lynn Sr. rubbed the back of his neck. "To make a long story short, they made a bet, had this big tournament, and the losing team now has to cater to the winners for the day…"
As he said that, his eyes shifted towards his wife, who was talking with Howard McBride, and he remembered something important.
"And why aren't they doing it here?"
"Hold that thought." Lynn Sr. told Kotaro and walked over to his wife.
"…and I'm sorry Harold couldn't make it, but Clyde is in need of…" Howard looked aside "…um…counseling… about prepubescent issues, so one of us had to stay."
"I understand. That's the biggest sacrifice of having kids. They always take priority." Rita replied and the two chuckled, but their tone grew increasingly uneasy.
"Hey, Rita? Mind if I borrow you for a sec?"
"Sure." Rita replied. "What is it, Lynn?"
"Well, it's about our anniversary…" Lynn Sr. started. Howard quietly walked over to mingle with the other guests.
"Oh? Now that you mention it, I have a question too?" Rita asked with idle curiosity. "How did you remember?"
Hearing that, Lynn Sr. started sweating profusely. "I…well…"
"Not to put a damper on the party…" Rita continued, not wanting to sound too accusatory "…but for the last few years…"
"I know, honey, I know, and I'm deeply sorry for that." Lynn Sr. deflated. "Life's just been so…frantic and…"
His wife didn't say anything in return, though her face conveyed understanding. At that moment, Lynn Sr. was hit by an idea.
"Which…which is why I told Lincoln about a year ago to remember it for me. Yes, yes. I was so upset that I forgot about it so many times that I wanted to make sure it never happened again." he improvised. "So I asked him to keep reminding me of it. After all, with nine sisters whose birthdays he always remembers, he's quite good at keeping track of things…even with our daily chaos."
"Oh…" Rita didn't know what to say. Her husband admitting to his mistakes…it eased her frustration a bit. He wasn't trying to make cheap excuses but was owning up to it. She couldn't deny that his reasons for letting their big day slip his mind weren't valid, otherwise, she'd be a massive hypocrite. She didn't have the best track record of remembering her children's birthdays. And when was the last time they had celebrated her husband's birthday?
"I know, hun. I was such a dunce, but that's a thing of the past." Lynn Sr. reassured her. "Speaking of Lincoln? This grill party wouldn't have been possible without him, and LJ for that matter."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, did you wonder why they had that sibling duel?"
The kids widened their eyes in surprise. Their father was trying to put them in their mother's good graces.
Rita blinked. "I…I thought Junior made that challenge? What reason would she have other than wanting to show off in another-"
"Um…surprise…" Lynn Sr. smiled while waving his fingers "…again."
"Wait, wait." Rita raised her hands. "Are you saying…that Lincoln and Lynn orchestrated that whole sibling duel just…."
"…so you and I would be free to celebrate our anniversary undisturbed?" Lynn Sr. played along. "Yes, yes they did."
"I…they seriously did that…" the nonplussed Rita had to clutch her head. "But how did they know it would all work out?"
"They didn't." Lynn Sr. shrugged. "It was a big gamble but you know LJ and Lincoln? She's in it to win it and he's the man with the plan."
"Yeah, I guess that is true." Rita admitted.
Small smiles slowly crept onto the kids' faces. This wasn't part of their plan but it was a great way of earning their mother's trust, especially after the Renee fiasco.
They observed Rita and saw her ambivalent look morphing into one of genuine regret.
"They went through all that trouble for us? Even after I punished them?"
"They don't blame you for it." Lynn nodded. "I don't know if you've noticed, but those two really are trying to be good children."
"Their dedication to you is quite admirable." A familiar voice cut in and the guests all flinched in fright and parted as a teenager appeared among them, but it was not one of the Loud girls.
"Kathleen?" the couple said in surprise.
"Kathleen?!" Lynn and Lincoln went agape.
"What?! What's she doing here again?" Luan blurted in anger, clutching the frame of the window.
The rich girl was holding a small gift wrapped in a bow as she approached the couple, smiling cordially and ignoring any lingering stares aimed at her.
"Kathleen, what are you doing here?" Rita asked.
"Why, I wanted to wish you a happy anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Loud. And may you have many more."
"I…that's very considerate of you, but how did you know it was today?" Lynn Sr. added, puzzled and slightly creeped out.
"Oh, you misunderstand, sir." Kathleen explained as she placed the gift on the table. "I'm just the delivery girl, this is Lola's gift. Though I did pitch in as her financier."
"Lola? You mean…our Lola?" Rita tried to wrap her head around it.
"You didn't think she had forgotten about your big day?" Kathleen chuckled. "What kind of a daughter do you take her for?"
"How did….Lola's must have overheard us?" the stupefied Lincoln realized. "But what's Kath-Lynn!"
To his shock, his sister was already halfway over the fence. Lincoln tried to stop her, but he struggled to scale the fence himself and didn't make the most graceful landing, while Lynn was pushing partygoers out of her way.
"She was thinking of giving you a crayon masterpiece for the fridge but then she hooked up with me and-hey!"
Kathleen was grabbed by her jacket and came face to face with an enraged Lynn.
"Lynn!?" Rita and Lynn Sr. gasped, earning the attention of everyone else.
"Not her?!" one of the guests yelped fearfully, while others cowered or spat out their drinks. Kotaro instinctively shielded his jaw.
"What are you trying to pull, you conniving viper!" Lynn shook and pulled Kathleen closer. "Because so help me…"
"Lynn, what's gotten into you?!" Rita grabbed her by the shoulder.
"What's your angle, huh!" Lynn barked when her mother and Lincoln pried her away from Kathleen.
"Lynn, stop it right now!" Lynn Sr. implored her.
"Calm down." Lincoln begged her when the family heard a chorus of complaints.
"Lynn, you told us your brats wouldn't be here?" Kotaro lamented, glaring at the jock in particular.
"Please, stay calm, everyone. We can explain?" Lynn Sr. raised his hands but the guests turned their backs on him.
"I'm out of here."
"We should have known better."
"Good-for-nothing louts!"
"Leash laws? What are those?" one guest snarked dourly.
"Wait, don't go…" Rita chased after them but quickly gave up and hung her head in defeat. In no time, the backyard was completely deserted.
Watering his garden with a hose, Mr. Grouse noticed the nearby commotion and huffed, "Smart people…"
Suddenly self-conscious, Lynn wilted with embarrassment. Lincoln noticed tears forming in her eyes but then gulped as their mother glowered at them.
Kathleen flashed an evil smile, unnoticed by anyone.
"What the hell did you think you were doing?!" Rita marched up to them. "What are you two doing here in the first place?"
"Mom…" Lincoln shrank. "We can explain…"
"Were you spying on us?" Rita asked incredulously, to which her son shrank further.
"No, wait, scratch that." Rita pinched her pulsating temple and turned to her daughter. "Why did you attack her, Lynn!"
"Yes, I'd like to know as well?" Kathleen said while dusting her jacket. "Might this have something to do with Luan assaulting me yesterday?"
She smirked inwardly as she saw Rita visibly panic and Lynn get triggered.
"Because she's pulling a sham, that's why!" the jock insisted, but her mortified mother barely heard her.
If Luan was willing to get violent with Kathleen, Rita didn't even dare to think what Lynn would be willing to do.
"Kathleen, are you alright, dear? I'm so sorry this happened." she walked over to the rich girl.
"I'm fine, just a little shaken." Kathleen looked aside indignantly. "I guess it beats getting punched in the face."
"Nobody is buying your act, you lying skank!" Luan shouted from above, earning everyone's attention.
Rita clutched her head in aggravation. She knew things were too good to be true.
"Luan!" the mother yelled. "You stay out of this-"
"No, she needs to stay out of our lives!" Luan retorted and threw a pie at her nemesis, but Kathleen dodged and it hit Lynn Sr. in the face.
Luan gasped, while Kathleen suppressed a chuckle. Rita flushed as her husband felt around and found a tissue to wipe his face.
"That's it!" Rita had it. "Close the window this instant, or you'll be grounded for another two weeks!"
"But, mom-"
"I'm serious! You have five seconds to do it…one…two…three…four…"
Angrily, Luan closed the window, and they heard faint ranting from inside.
"I hate to be blunt, Mrs. Loud." Kathleen sighed. "But I think more than one of your daughters has serious anger issues."
Growling, Lynn pointed at her. "That's because you provoked us, you two-faced bi-"
"What are you talking about?" Kathleen scowled. "I was just delivering Lola's gift. Really, Luan's rampant paranoia seems to be rubbing off on-"
"Oh, and how did you and the princess know about the anniversary, huh!" Lynn retorted. "Looks like we aren't the only snoopers here?"
"We weren't snooping." Lincoln insisted to his parents.
Kathleen folded her arms "Lynn, don't be ridiculous. Lola knows her own parents'-."
"Yeah, right! Lola ain't that thoughtful!" Lynn shot back. "Mom? Dad? C'mon, you aren't really buying this crap!"
"She's right." Lincoln backed her up. "Lola's only five. She's more concerned with her tea parties or playing dress-up than-"
"Lincoln?" Kathleen looked scandalized. "I'm disappointed in you. Are you trying to undermine Lola's efforts just so you and Lynn will look better in your parents' eyes?"
Lincoln narrowed his eyes. "I'd never do such a thing, but Lola's-"
"Or did she coerce you into doing it?" Kathleen shot Lynn a scrutinizing glare, choosing her next words very carefully. "I hear Lynn has a history of resorting to… aggressive persuasion for her own personal gain?"
Lincoln tensed. He knew this was a sore spot for Lynn and looked at her. Suffice to say, she was trembling and clenching her fists.
"I did not!" Lynn snapped at her, startling her parents.
Kathleen shot Lincoln a sympathetic look. "I'm very sorry if she forced you into sharing credit for this party."
"No, she did not." Lincoln said firmly, but Rita didn't look so convinced. "We planned this together from the get-go."
"Lincoln, don't let her pressure you." Kathleen put a hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't be scared to tell your parents about her unruly behavior. No one should treat her little brother like-"
"That does it!" a livid Lynn lunged at Kathleen. "You're dead-"
"LJ, get a grip!" her father hastily grabbed her and restrained her.
"Lynn, stay calm. Let me handle this." Lincoln implored her before giving their guest a stern look, but his mother beat him to the punch.
"Kathleen, just what exactly is your gift?" Rita asked, stepping between her daughter and Kathleen.
"I was going to tell you before I was so rudely interrupted." Kathleen huffed while sending Lynn an indignant glare as she walked up to the table and grabbed her gift.
She opened it, revealing a brochure, along with a key and a credit card.
"Lola told me how you all could benefit from a change of scenery, especially hard-working and committed parents such as yourselves, Mr. and Mr. Loud. So I wish to offer you a week-long vacation at my family's own summer home on the banks of Lake Michigan-"
"No thanks! Hard pass." Lynn said curtly when her father pulled her back.
Lynn Sr. cleared his throat. "Look, Kathleen? Your offer is quite generous but we gotta decline, we don't really want to… associate with you."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Kathleen looked hurt and Rita sent her husband a confused look.
He sighed. "Rita, I'm sorry you had to learn about it this way, but I have reason to believe Kathleen is a bad influence on our daughters. One of them told us so."
"Lana." Kathleen narrowed her eyes. It wasn't hard to pinpoint the snitch.
"What are you talking about?" Rita asked. "Is there something I should know?"
"Yes, I think it's unwise to let our children spend time with her." Lynn Sr. explained. "I was told that she and some of the girls were conspiring to do some very foolish and reckless things, with her encouraging them."
"Why…what are you talking about?" Kathleen feigned innocence.
"We mean that you're a shameless liar who told the girls that they should fake their own disappearance so they could guilt-trip mom and dad into "appreciating" them again." Lynn spat while making air quotes.
"Yes, I heard the same thing." Lincoln nodded. "And that you would help hide them."
"W-what?" Rita blurted. "Kathleen, is that true?"
"True? Where in the world did you hear such…nonsense?" Kathleen looked shocked.
"Don't be coy, we were told by someone who was there!" Lynn retorted, knowing Lana now needed her protection more than ever.
"Mrs. Loud…" Kathleen's lips trembled. "You already know that I did meet up with Lori, Leni, Luna, and the twins two days ago, that is true. They were indeed angry at you for punishing them but I never claimed that you were wrong for doing so. I did give them advice though."
"And what was that advice?" Rita raised an eyebrow.
Kathleen sniffed. "I told them that they should find a way to reignite the familiar bond they shared with you. That they should do something to remind you how much they mean to you, and vice versa. When it came to Lola, she wanted to do it by getting you the best anniversary gift possible."
"Oh, for pity's sake!" Lynn rolled her eyes. "Will ya save the freaking waterworks for drama club? Nobody is buying your bullshi-"
"Lynn." Rita warned her. "Language."
"So what are you implying? That it was the girls' idea?" Lynn Sr. asked cautiously.
A realization seemed to hit Kathleen, causing her to wipe tears from her eyes. "Is that it? Did they seriously take my advice to mean that they should use dishonest means and guilt-trip you into appreciating them?"
The perplexed Lynn Sr. and Lincoln studied her. She looked so heartbroken, it was hard to imagine that her apology wasn't genuine. But Lynn wasn't fooled.
"They did, didn't they? I'm so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Loud. You too, Lynn and Lincoln." Kathleen turned around, pressing her backhand to her forehead and still weeping. "Now I see why you are so angry with me. I didn't realize that the girls could entertain such…callous thoughts? I'm sorry I encouraged them to do that, this really is my fault."
"Kathleen…" Rita said with sympathy "…I…eh…it wasn't your fault, the…the girls always were impulsive and careless when it came to…"
"You have my deepest apologies, I see now that I'm nothing but a source of friction within your family, I shall escort myself right away." Kathleen looked at them, tears pouring down her face.
"Yeah, yeah, don't let the door hit your keister on the way out!" Lynn shooed her away. "Now beat it."
"Lynn, that's enough!" her mother hissed at her before turning to Kathleen. "Lynn's very sorry about attacking you-"
"No, I'm not!" Lynn snapped. "She's trying to dupe you!"
"…please, let us talk in a calm and civilized manner…" Rita proceeded to follow Kathleen "…this won't lead to any lawsuit or such, right?"
"No, no, you needn't worry about me, I can take a hint." Kathleen said politely while sniffing. "You don't have to take my offer, but please, keep the credit card, I'm sure you'll find a good use for it. I'm sorry I inconvenienced you. Farewell."
And so, she left the premise, leaving the four Louds puzzled, angry, or in Rita's case, both.
"Hook, line, and sinker…" Kathleen chuckled to herself.
Lynn Sr. looked at his kids, then at the empty backyard, and clutched his mouth, the full gravity of the situation sinking in. The anniversary was a catastrophe. Dear lord, how could things spiral out of control so quickly?
The kids wilted under their mother's scolding glare before she looked away in tranquil fury.
"Mom?" Lynn tried to approach her. "Please, just let me explain."
"Explain?" Rita looked at her incredulously. "Yesterday, Luan punched that poor girl in the face, and now you assaulted her in the middle of a party? What's there to explain? We're all lucky that she chose not to press charges!"
"She's not a "poor girl"! She's a liar and she's trying to pull the wool over your eyes!" Lynn insisted adamantly. "You're not seriously buying her bogus excuses and melodramatic acting-"
"I don't care what she did or said!" Rita retorted. "That doesn't excuse you assaulting people like a hooligan! Do you have the faintest clue how much trouble that could have landed you in, and the whole family for that matter? Didn't you learn a damn thing after you busted that cop's hood because you lost a stupid baseball game!"
"This is different-"
"I didn't see anything different!" Rita cut her off. "All I saw was you being a foul-tempered, impulsive idiot for the millionth time! Dammit, Lynn! Why do you always have to be such a….such a…burden!"
A deathly silence ensued as Lynn stepped back, a look of shock and betrayal plastered on her face. Any vigor she had prior was gone, replaced by hurt and grief. Lincoln and Lynn Sr. were likewise stunned into silence.
Just then, Albert walked out of the house, carrying a beer crate like it was nothing.
"Hey, everyone, sorry I'm late…" he laughed before his face fell. "Wait? Where's everyone?"
All he got in response was Lynn tearing up and bolting away like she was in a marathon, with Lincoln chasing after her.
"Lynn, wait!" he called out, following her around the block.
Albert tried to catch up to them but they were already gone, so he turned to the distraught father.
"Lynn, just what the hell happened here?"
His son-in-law said nothing, he just hung his head in despair, and his daughter was likewise silent.
She was obviously trying to collect herself after an outburst and her face betrayed a mixture of frustration and regret before clutching it and sighing.
Slowly putting the pieces together, Albert knew that bringing back the kids would be of no use now. Some 15 years of experience had taught him that when it came to arguments between Louds, having the two parties separate and cool off was the best course of action. Not that it would do much to undo the immediate damage.
Ryan's place…
"And then she realized that she had ants in her pants and started spazzing out."
Lori fumed and tried to block out their infernal chatting as she hammered in the final nails on top of the roof. Luna and Sam were busy painting one side of the treehouse green, and Leni the other.
"…but Lincoln grabbed her foot with his stick and took her down with him. You don't want to know how she looked afterward." Luna finished, which elicited laughter from her friend.
"I only fell because of those ants!" Lori lamented. "If those cheating twerps hadn't put fire ants in my suit, I would have won!"
"Well, cheaters never prosper." Luna replied coyly. "And I guess when you're the bigger cheater, the other one prospers."
"And you said Lynn took her down in a wrestling match, right?" Sam asked Luna, to which the latter chuckled.
"Oh, you're gonna love that story. It was a riot. Especially the atomic wedgie."
Lori's face turned crimson and she gritted her teeth. In her rage, she failed to notice that she was aiming at the wrong nail… until the crying, bruising and ruined manicure ensued.
"I'm so sorry I couldn't get the color right." Leni apologized to their warden for the umpteenth time. "I really don't know what went wrong?"
"Oh, it's no problem." Renee shrugged while clutching her baton. "They say green is the new purple."
"Ah, that makes sense." Leni smiled dumbly. "A true artist works with what they have!"
"What's her angle?" a surly Ryan muttered while reclining in a beach chair. That Leni just vexed him to no end.
Next to him, Lana was giving Marceline a belly scratch when Lucy walked out.
"So, is the brat still breathing?" Ryan sneered dourly.
"Yes, she's asleep. The swelling has gone down." Lucy explained.
"Pity…" Ryan grumbled.
"That's great." Lana said a little too excitedly before noticing the odd looks she was getting.
She tucked her head between her shoulders. "I mean, that we won't get in trouble, that is."
"I don't understand her concern…" Lucy whispered to Ryan. "What's there to care about that condescending, self-absorbed, hate-filled harpy?"
Ryan glanced at his sister and grimaced. "I guess it's true what they say. Blood is thicker than water…so much so that it clouds your better judgment."
Sensing his lingering frustration, Lucy tried to comfort him. "You're still upset about what Renee said.?"
"Doy, of course not." Ryan denied it. "The day she gets under my skin will be the day hell freezes over."
"Don't feel bad, Ryan. What Lola did wasn't resourcefulness, it was just a pathetic act of desperation."
"Of course it was desperation." Ryan sat up. "You gotta be as tough as me to consider self-harm an option while retaining your dignity."
They heard chirping and Lucy found a small, black animal fluttering in front of her face.
"Fang." She smiled and let him perch on her hand, and noticed that he was jittering. "What's wrong?"
Ryan looked up at the red sky. "Probably the featherbrain up there."
Lucy glanced up and saw a large bird circling around the house, assuming it to be an owl.
"Don't fret, you're safe with me." She petted Fang to calm him.
Marceline noticed the bird and it caused her to jump in alarm.
"Hey, where are you going?" Lana asked as the cat ran through the cat door, and climbed to the roof.
From up there, she saw the vulture perching on a telephone pole, the missing feathers on his wing very visible.
But Raza learned from his mistake. He kept a vigilant eye on the cat and blew a raspberry at her before taking to the darkening skies again.
Marceline growled and her back hair bristled as she watched him flying towards the conifer-covered hills in the distance.
"Lynn, for the last time, what's done is done." A familiar voice made her glance down and she saw Lincoln and a very sulky Lynn walking into the backyard.
"Oh, crap…" Ryan started sweating as the two came closer to him and tried to compose himself.
"What took you guys so long?" he snarked. "You missed the glorious construction of the new Taylor embassy."
"Cut the jokes, we have an emergency." Lincoln told him up front and Ryan's jokey demeanor waned as he noticed Lynn looking away from them, her eyes puffy.
"Sigh. I sense that something went horribly wrong during the party?" Lucy asked in her usual stoic tone.
"Oh, gee, did my sunny disposition give it away?" Lynn shot back bitterly.
"Lynn, what happened?" Lana grabbed her hand. "Why were you crying?"
"I wasn't crying…" she muttered but knew that the others weren't fooled.
"Ughhh….just tell them, Linc…" Lynn pushed him forward and Lincoln sighed and cut to the chase.
"The party was a total bust, Kathleen appeared and Lynn…well, let's just say mom didn't have much faith in Lynn's word."
"And I chased away all their guests, I ruined mom and dad's anniversary!" Lynn lamented, not to Lincoln or anyone else in particular.
"Hold your horses, what was Kathy doing there in the first place?" Ryan inquired. "Did she know about-"
"The anniversary? Yes. Lola told her." Lincoln confirmed, upon which the older boy deflated and gave Lynn a sympathetic look.
"Well…." He rubbed the back of the neck. "Guess you're not the only one screwed up today…"
"What are you talking about?" Lincoln asked.
"Hey, hey, I was watching her like a hawk the whole time." Ryan said defensively. "How was I supposed to know the brat was allergic to pineapple?"
Lincoln's eyes widened. "You made her eat pineapple?!"
"No, he didn't do it." Lucy jumped to Ryan's defense. "Lola did it of her own free will. In an act of supreme spite, she opted to poison herself just to avoid servitude."
The look of horror lingered on her brother's face, so the goth half-heartedly added, "…and she's fine. The symptoms are going away."
Lincoln relaxed a bit and pinched the bridge of his nose. "So I assume that's how she got into contact with Kathleen?"
"And she also tied up Lucy and ran away before being caught and eating the pineapple slices." Lana added.
Lynn grimaced. "So that's when the little nuisance learned about the anniversary? She must have spied on us?"
"That no-good, dirty…" Lana fumed.
"So this is all your fault!" Lynn suddenly pointed at Lucy, making her jerk back. "You were supposed to keep her under control and yet she escaped!"
"Enough, Lynn." Lincoln pushed her arm down. "This isn't her fault, or your, or Ryan's, we're all to blame. We shouldn't have left her unattended like we did… but we grew complacent."
"So…you're admitting that it's technically your fault?" Ryan smirked. "That your poor leadership led to Pinky-"
"If it helps you nurse your fragile ego, then sure." Lincoln said sardonically. "But let's focus on what matters, okay?"
Glancing at his other sisters, who were distracted with work, Lincoln quietly gestured for everyone to huddle together.
The others didn't need to be told twice and did so. "Alright, mom and dad's anniversary was a huge setback, a total disaster. Mom's very upset, she's growing even more distrustful of us, and worst of all, Kathleen is up to something again and she won't leave us alone."
"And just what does Ms. Rich and Fancy want now?" Ryan snorted. "Does she still want to "teach" your folks to appreciate the bimbos more?"
"No, she wants us to take a vacation at her summer home for whatever reason." Lynn said bitterly. "She left us the keys and some fancy-schmancy credit card."
"Did mom take the offer?" Lucy asked.
"We don't know." Lincoln shook his head. "Mom didn't say that she would but at the same time…she didn't side with us and Kathleen made it sound like she wasn't the brains behind that conspiracy and that the girls misinterpreted her advice."
"Translation: she'll continue to badger your folks until they say "yes"…" Ryan said sarcastically.
"No shit, that's been her M.O this whole time. And that drama queen put up one hell of a performance." Lynn's face hardened. "Including plenty of waterworks."
"I know…she looked so sincere." Lincoln sighed, almost as if he believed her. "I think our parents bought into it, I don't know how you can fake such raw emotions-"
"Pfft…it's called "crocodile tears", genius." Ryan said snidely. "Any schmoe can fake it to make it if they have the right acting chops. I did it all the time."
He hastily added, "Minus the crying of course. I don't cry, cuz my unused tear ducts dried out when I was eight."
Lincoln rolled his eyes. "Be that as it may, I fear that she has thrown off the sent. Mom and maybe even dad will hold the girls accountable for the would-be conspiracy, but not Kathleen. She's free to do…whatever she's planning to do?"
"And the worst part…" Lynn grimaced. "We don't even know what her stupid end goal is?"
If you're going to lament that Rita was being unreasonable with Lynn, remember, it's been well-established in this story that the trust between the girls and their parents is…completely broken, in large part due to the girls' past antics. From Rita's perspective, Lynn was as bad as Lola and Lori just two weeks ago. Just because you've reformed doesn't mean other people will intuitively know that you're sincere about it, you need to earn their trust again.
Naturally, that's what Lynn and Lincoln are trying to do, but Kathleen is actively manipulating both parties so it would look like she is genuine with her attempt at being a better person while Lynn and her sisters are not, not helped by the fact that Rita and Lynn Sr. had no prior experience with Kathleen (outside of her "saintly patient and understanding good girl" act) but they had plenty of negative experience with their own daughters. Rita is also justifiably worried about someone from an obscenely wealthy and influential family getting the idea to take legal action against the Louds because Rita's children assaulted her twice within 24 hours. And Lynn's usual impulsivity certainly didn't help matters or her assumption that Lana's testimony was all they needed to get Kathleen out of their hair.
