Chapter 7: Livin' La Vida Gato

This chapter came out almost completely but not quite entirely unlike how I had planned it last week.

Pink Lemonade: I feel like I should have a bulletin board with pins and strings to connect all of these plots. I am keeping track of them though, and I hope they live up to your expectations!

Not Canadian: Thank you! I too am getting over my arachnophobia. It's getting easier and easier to imagine spiders as cute, which makes writing Phoebe easier, but now I find myself tempted to touch spiders around my house, and there are some unusually large ones this year . . . The coincidence is kind of creepy to be honest. But in any case, you're right! Their anatomy is amazing and I hope to regale you with further facts in the future (this chapter is a bit light on spider stuff).

Guest: I'll admit I didn't fact check that figure before posting the last chapter. I just put in The Number from both Into the Spider-Verse and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But I did Google it now and one geneticist says humans share up to 63% of DNA with spiders. We share about the same amount of DNA with some plants. It's all because DNA can be 'on' or 'off', so we can have the genes for eight eyes or green skin, but they're just not active. Plus, we would probably die if they were active, so there goes my dream of being able to stick to walls.


Speter go swinging? Phoebe asked as she watched Peter gathering his superhero supplies.

"Yup, we're going on patrol today. There's been a bunch of burglaries around Manhattan. That means someone has been sneaking into places and stealing things."

Phoebe silently absorbed that information as she secured herself better on Peter's head. Ever since he had allowed her to come out of her terrarium for exercise, she had quickly formed a pattern. First, she ran and jumped around, exploring his room. Next, she would ask Peter to help her swing from one of his web strands. Then, she would try to do the same with her own silk, though she often got distracted on her way climbing up his walls (she quite enjoyed running over his posters). And finally, as she began to tire, she would climb onto Peter to sit on his head or shoulders. He didn't mind. He even tried to do quiet things so as not to disturb her, like homework.

This had actually led to an unexpected advancement in Phoebe's learning. She apparently liked to listen to Peter's thoughts as he did his homework. By the second day they did this, she began to ask what geology was and how to find a square root. Peter was honestly excited about her interest, even though that meant more things to teach her. It would be fun to have someone new to geek out with. Not to mention it would be fascinating to hear Phoebe's interpretations of science. Spiders literally saw the world differently, and she was very inquisitive. She was bound to come up with some interesting ideas. So now Peter devoted some time each day to teach her basic math and science topics

He was really appreciating the telekinetic link now, because he didn't think his lessons would be nearly as effective without it. It had been literal years since he had last tried to explain basic addition and subtraction to anyone.

But Peter didn't have time to teach her anything right now. He had to report to the Helicarrier in half an hour. Dr. Connors would give him the greenlight, and he and the team would be on their way.

What steal?

"Stealing is when you take something that isn't yours. People steal a lot of things, but usually things they want or need like food, medicine, beautiful stuff, and money. People can use money to get almost anything, so that's one of the most common things to steal. But then the person they stole it from gets angry and sad."

Steal bad, Phoebe decided.

"You're absolutely right. That's why I need to stop them from stealing."

Speter good.

"I try to be. Now I need you to be good while I'm out, okay?"

Phoebe didn't answer as quickly as usual. No go? She asked timidly.

Touched, Peter went over to the mirror so he could look at her. "Why don't you want me to go stop the bad guys? Are you saying you'll miss me?"

Miss? Maybe . . .

"I'll miss you too, but there are some things I need to do." He held his hand up so Phoebe could step onto it. Once she was secure, he held her at eye level. "I know we've been able to spend a lot of time together these past few days since I've been stuck at home. Unfortunately, I'm probably going to be busy most of the day from here on out."

But Phoebe want Speter.

In all her time here, Phoebe had never sounded so unhappy. The words came pouring from Peter's lips before he could fully comprehend what it would mean for his sleep cycle. "I promise I'll spend time with you every night, and even every morning before school. How's that sound?"

But day no joy. Phoebe's pedipalps moved in a way that might have been a pout.

"I don't always have a great time in school either, but at least I have . . ." Peter stopped, suddenly realizing how lonely Phoebe must be. She was a secret from everyone, and, even if she wasn't, she wouldn't have been able to communicate with anyone else. Aside from Peter, she had no friends. She was probably bored out of her little mind whenever he was out.

This had to be rectified, but what could he do? Maybe Phoebe could become friends with other spiders? That idea didn't really appeal to Peter now that he knew ordinary spiders weren't anywhere near her intelligence level. They probably couldn't even carry a conversation. And the spiders he had tried to talk to had been quite mean; what if they tried to hurt Phoebe? Sure, she was gigantic in comparison, but Peter couldn't leave her alone with something that might try to bite her.

What other things could fight boredom, then? Peter usually watched TV, trolled the internet, or read books. But could Phoebe do any of that while he was away? She only knew how to read a few words. And Aunt May would be suspicious if he left his laptop on with a video. What else could she possibly do?

Wait a second, he was thinking in terms of what he currently liked to do. And he was a teenager while Phoebe was a child. So what did kids like to do?

Struck by inspiration, Peter gently set Phoebe down into her Jungle Box. "Wait here a sec. I think I know what can cheer you up."

Knowing time was of the essence, he quickly dived into the depths of his closet. He was pretty sure there were a few toys buried in there from his younger days. Sure enough, he came out with a jar of little green army men and a few small Avengers figurines. Peter presented them happily to Phoebe.

"These are called toys. I like to call them action figures, but if you want to call them dolls I guess that's fine. You can play with them."

How? This was Phoebe's latest line of questioning now that she was understanding what more things were.

"Um—well, you can play pretend using imagination. That's like . . . uh . . . Do you remember when you showed me that image of the jungle?"

Yup.

"You were imagining the jungle in your head without actually being there at the moment. Afterwards, you imagined yourself in the jungle. You can imagine anything you can think or see in your head."

Really? Joy thoughts?

"They can be joyful, exciting, scary, sad, funny. Anything you want."

Phoebe's eyes seemed to shine. She reached for the toys. Perfect! Thank you!

"You are more than welcome! I hope you have fun. Let me know how today goes, okay?"

Okay!

Relieved to hear Phoebe happy again, Peter finally grabbed his gear and left.


The day turned out to be fairly quiet for a weekend in New York. It was the perfect day for a stake out. Peter assigned his team to split up so they could watch the two buildings Shield had tagged as likely targets.

Stakeouts, while not altogether unfamiliar to the team, were still unusual for them. They rarely simply waited for a bad guy to come around. Usually it was very hard to miss the villains' grand displays of power and greed. But every so often there was an intelligent bad guy who tried to stay out of sight and out of jail. And, as the entire team could agree, these were always the worst.

So they waited patiently. Danny and Luke were hidden on the roof of one of the possible targets, Peter and Ava on the other. Sam was their lookout in between, ready to fly in wherever they spotted trouble.

Sam was also their unofficial and unappreciated commentator.

He gave a detailed description of the area: "Hey guys, there's like a million restaurants on this street! There's Thai and Chinese and Mexican and Portuguese and—" gasp "—there's that milkshake place where you can get any flavor imaginable! That can count as dinner, right? When's our next break?"

He noted suspicious behavior: "Can the rest of you see that guy down there? The one in the green suit? Do you guys think he's a leprechaun? Oh, wait, I see. He's one of those artistic types. He's got this huge camera and—ooh . . . there's a whole photoshoot going on down there. Those are some hot models. Can our goggles zoom in any more than this? I bet their pictures would be worth way more if the famous Nova just so happened to accidentally photobomb them . . ."

He even kept them updated on current events: "Did any of you see the Aquaman movie? It was such a flop. I mean, it was like watching Thor underwater without his hammer. Aquaman wasn't even a nice enough guy to really like and root for. And I thought only a few animals like whales could use sonar. So he shouldn't have been able to command every single sea creature. They could have made that a little more believable by blaming it on some sort of telekinetic power. That's a thing, right? I feel like that's a thing."

Something got caught in Peter's throat then, and he coughed.

But after a while even Sam got tired of talking. As the sun slipped out of sight, the team lapsed into silence. Peter sat back on his perch. It was never very comfortable to wear spandex for so many hours straight, but it was always nice when his civic duties involved a bit of relaxation. Relaxing up here was so different than relaxing back at home. There was just something about being in the heart of the city that made you feel alive even as the thrum of activity drowned out the sounds of your own heartbeat.

The stars didn't come out, but then they rarely did. The moon was only a thin sliver, most of the way to becoming new. It grew dark on the rooftops.

"How are the contacts and tinted lenses working for you?" Ava asked quietly. Ever the sophisticated agent, she didn't take her eyes from the building they were watching.

"Really well. It makes a huge difference." Peter hesitated, glancing at her. "Do you see like this all the time or only when the amulet is activated?"

She shrugged. "Connors insists it's only with the amulet, but I swear my senses are sharper than normal even when I don't have it with me. My family has told me that it leaves a mark after a while, so maybe my eyes will get like yours someday." She sighed. "I don't have too much info to go on though. My dad was only just getting to that stage."

"Right, sorry," Peter apologized.

"You don't need to apologize. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Well, yeah, I guess I do."

Ava looked over at him, which already signified that she was about to say something serious. "Were you really going to not tell anyone about what happened to you?"

Now it was Peter's turn to shrug. "It was originally Wolverine's idea. I didn't really remember anything, and he kept insisting that nothing major had happened. And I hadn't even noticed the fangs until he pointed them out."

"And you don't remember anything from the Savage Lands at all?" she asked knowingly.

"I told you—"

"I know what you said, and it's fine whether it's true or not. It's just . . . you're finally someone who can kind of relate to me. I mean—wait, we've never even spoken much about this before, have we?"

"No, not really. We usually just talk about school or Shield stuff." Peter was a little disturbed she didn't seem to believe him. "I know you read my file cover to cover though." He was still a little disturbed about that too.

"Yeah, but the files only contain information on a need-to-know basis. I remember it said 'Spider-Man benefits from certain inherently arachnid instincts, the most useful of which is his nearly precognitive sense of danger'."

"You remembered that word for word?"

"I'm not very good at paraphrasing," she said dismissively. "Anyway, I read that, but seeing you in action I know there has to be more. You're just too . . . graceful for it all to be from training. And you didn't even have training before you joined Shield."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Thanks, sort of, maybe."

"So are there more? More instincts, I mean. There's no need to be shy about it. You've seen me even on my worst days. Remember the time I attacked the man in the mouse costume?"

"How could I forget? He was terrified." Peter took a moment before answering her first question. Ava had never come across as someone who wanted to talk about her personal life, to get things off her chest. But maybe she was right. They had some common ground now. And he really didn't need to keep everything a secret from everyone. "There . . . may be more instincts. Some of them are really weird and embarrassing though, so you have to promise that everything stays between you and me."

"No problem. I plan to tell you some of my quirks too. Don't look at me like that! I do have quirks! I just don't show them off!"

"I wasn't looking at you like anything! I'm wearing a mask for goodness' sakes! No need to glare at me!"

"I'm wearing a mask too," Ava deadpanned.

". . . I guess they are rather expressive masks . . ."

"Hey," Sam said through their communicators. "What's the difference between a regular burglar and a cat burglar?"

"That's a good question," said Luke. "I feel like it has something to do with their level of stealth."

"I was under the impression that the two terms were used interchangeably," said Danny.

"Or maybe a cat burglar is a thief who dresses like a cat," Ava suggested.

"Not everyone likes to dress like a cat, White Tiger," Sam replied dryly.

"No, they're really dressed like a cat. I've got a visual at two o'clock. They just cut through the glass around the fifteenth floor on the south side of the building."

Peter snapped up into a crouch, looking where she was pointing. There was a figure clad in black beginning to climb the rest of the way up the building. Keeping to the shadows, they were nearly invisible against the darkness. Zooming in, Peter was able to see the cat ears. and what could have been a tail, and the exceedingly tight leather.

"Meow! Tiger, you've got some competition," Sam said.

"Zip it, dim bulb," Ava growled.

"All right, everyone," Peter said into his communicator. "It's go time. Nova, go in from the top. I'll climb up from below. Power Man and Iron Fist, get down to street level and clear a space. We'll try to corral her down to you two. White Tiger will remain up here to jump in just in case she makes a run for it. Sound good?"

"Why not chase her up the building to avoid the crowds?" Luke asked.

"She's already heading up, so her escape route is probably up there. Besides, with any luck I can web her before we even get to the street."

"You just jinxed us," Ava muttered under her breath.

"I didn't think you were superstitious," Peter shot back.

"Who's the one with the magical tiger amulet?"

He sighed. "Fair enough." Into the communicator again he said, "So are you all ready?"

Everyone gave their affirmatives. Peter watched Sam's bright form fly overhead before he took a running leap over the edge of the roof. If they weren't going for the element of surprise, Peter would have whooped. He did allow himself to do a few twists in the air before he shot a line. A second later and he was bracing himself against the rough stone and smooth glass of the building. The lights were on within, and someone jumped inside, startled. Peter offered them a friendly wave.

"What's a pretty kitty like you doing in a place like this?" Sam's voice came from far above. Looking up, Peter saw the girl stop her ascent.

"My," she said, her voice smooth as silk. "You really are as little and adorable as everyone says!"

"I—what? Little?!"

Peter snorted. "Wow, Nova, out of your league much?" He shot some webbing over the thief, securing her legs to the building.

She looked down at him, and Peter saw she was wearing a cowl over her head. That's where the cat ears were attached. It didn't have lenses, so her yellow eyes shone. Her devil red lips parted in an indulgent smile. Her skin was the color mocha. "There's the spider! Where's the rest of your team? I thought you were a package deal?" She occasionally rolled her 'R's in an appealing way.

"They're around," Peter replied slowly as he began to crawl towards her. Her completely nonchalant attitude was throwing off the usual superhero/bad guy chemistry. It was unnerving. "If you're good, maybe we'll autograph your orange jumpsuit in jail."

The cat burglar laughed, such a dainty sound. When her head tilted, her eyes flashed green. Like mine, Peter thought. But he didn't hesitate in his climb. He just took note that she was probably genetically enhanced too, which would be a pain if she could do any crazy cat stuff like—

She slashed at the webs and pushed herself off into a freefall.

Yeah, crazy like that.

Peter jumped after her, aiming his wrist to shoot another—

"Augh! Watch it!"

Nova dived right into him so they collided in a tangle of limbs. After a few seconds of fumbling, Sam regained his sense of direction and hovered to a stop, holding Peter up by his arms. They watched the cat burglar land on a neighboring building and flip gracefully onto its roof.

"She's getting away, Bucket Head!"

"You're the one who didn't stick her properly, Web Head!"

"When you two are done arguing," Ava's voice echoed harshly from both of their communicators. "Would you mind joining in the chase?"

Sam reacted immediately, flying up and throwing Peter into the air. Peter flipped so he could hit the roof running. A flash of white caught his eye and he saw Ava jumping a few buildings away. The cat burglar was nearly impossible to see in the darkness.

"Power Man, Iron Fist," Peter said into his communicator as he ran. "Track us and see if you can catch up on the ground or make it up a fire escape."

"Already on it," Luke assured him.

Luke and Danny were not the fastest members of the team, but they were good sports about it. Peter knew they would probably take the time to predict where the cat burglar was going so they could head her off. That worked with most baddies, but unfortunately they didn't have much info to use today. Shield hadn't known much about this cat burglar except that she was stealing from celebrity condos in Manhattan. They hadn't even known she was literally a cat burglar until just now.

At least the team couldn't really be blamed for how badly this first encounter was going so far.

Peter veered off the roof, transitioning into swinging. It was just so much faster (and easier) than running. He got closer to where he assumed the cat burglar was. He was mostly following Ava's lead. As it was quickly becoming apparent, his new night vision was better for seeing things in close proximity than a block away. Nevertheless, that was still massively helpful since it allowed him to move quickly without worrying much about where he was securing his web lines. This was possibly the fastest he had ever been able to swing at night.

Sam flew ahead, passing Peter. He shot a few blasts at the cat burglar. They all missed, but they did briefly illuminate her form as she abruptly fell out of sight.

"She just dropped into an alley," Ava confirmed. "Iron Fist, are you and Power Man in the vicinity?"

"I am almost at the alleyway. Power Man is on the opposite side of the block."

Peter pushed himself to go faster. He watched White Tiger jump down into the same alley. Nova dove in after her. As Peter also approached it, he swung down close to street level, shooting a wide web to block the alley's entrance. Then he landed on the roof overlooking the narrow gap between the buildings.

"Where'd she go?" he asked, slightly out of breath.

"I—I don't know," Ava called up. "Nova, light it up."

Sam obligingly brightened. The surrounding walls were bathed in his light, garbage cans and other junk casting long shadows on the ground.

The cat burglar was nowhere to be seen.

"Power Man, stay on your side of the block," Peter said. "We've lost visual, so let us know if you spot her. I'm going to keep an eye from above."

"Roger that."

The entire team spend the next fifteen minutes scouring the area, but there was no trace of the cat burglar anywhere. They reconvened in the alley.

"I can't believe we lost her," Ava growled, punching a nearby garbage can.

"I can't believe Spidey got in my way. I would have had her from the start!" Sam said, arms crossed.

"I was closer to her!" Peter argued. "You should have just let me grab her!"

"Not if you were going to use your webs again! She cut through them like paper!"

"At least my webs hit her! You missed!"

"ENOUGH!" Ava yelled. "It's both of your faults, as usual."

"She's got a point," Luke agreed. "That cat burglar baited both of you."

Sam's aura flared. "I wasn't baited."

Ava laughed harshly. "Yeah right."

"Okay, well, we've got to report back to Shield anyway." Peter rubbed the back of his neck ashamedly. "Did . . . did she ever say her name?"

Silence.

"I believe we have stumbled upon a potential new supervillain," Danny said quietly.

"Great, like New York needs another one." Luke sighed.

"Supervillain is a bit generous, don't you think?" Peter said. "I thought supervillains had to do big and loud and dangerous shows of power or something. She's just a silent thief."

"A silent thief who left us in the dust," Sam pointed out. "I'd feel much better if we called her a supervillain."

"So Fury won't be mad at us? Or so your ego won't be bruised?" Peter asked wryly.

"Both."


Peter returned home from the failed patrol somewhat despondently. May was out, so he immediately brought Phoebe out of the closet.

Hello Speter!

"Hello, Phoebe." Peter took off his mask, taking in a breath of fresh air. "So were you able to have some fun playing?"

She held up a little green soldier with her two front legs. Yup!

"Great! What did you imagine?"

Phoebe pret—prended bugs!

A vivid scene bloomed in Peter's mind. It showed Phoebe in her Jungle Box, although it looked much more jungle-like than it actually was. The green army men became green insects, and Phoebe jumped on them, grabbing them in her pedipalps. The bright Iron Man and Hulk toys became colorful birds which Phoebe trapped in her webs.

Peter blinked, the image dissolving. But the real-life consequences of Phoebe's playtime remained visible. Iron Man and Hulk were still covered in spider silk.

"Wow," Peter said. "Wow." In hindsight, he really should have expected this. Beneath her intelligence and her kindness, Phoebe was still a spider. There was no reason she would want to play house or any other human based concepts. "You've got a really good imagination. I'm glad you had fun."

Speter fun?

"Eh, not really, unfortunately. I had a bit of a rough day."

Speter want unload?

Peter smiled. "It's fine. I just didn't catch the thief. She got away with some jewelry. Jewelry is really pretty and shiny stuff that some people like to wear. It costs a lot of money." He thought for a second. "But I did have some fun swinging really fast."

Good.

"Are you hungry?"

Yup!

Peter pulled out the cricket jar and shook some into his hand. "How many crickets am I giving you?"

Phoebe stared at them for a moment. Four.

"That's absolutely right! Great job, Phoebe!" Peter gave her the four crickets, then popped a handful into his mouth before changing into some comfortable clothes. He had a hypothesis that he could avoid the usual 'post patrol fatigue' with the extra protein insects contained.

And yeah, he thought they were a tasty snack.

It occurred to him that Phoebe's choice of playtime was a sign that he really should try to teach her to hunt live insects. The instincts were obviously already there, and that meant it probably wouldn't even be too hard. Besides, she would need the knowledge to survive in the jungle when he got her home. Fortunately, Peter was already planning on going to Finbar's tomorrow night to check on Ty and Tandy. He would just pick up some live insects while he was there.

"If you're a good little spider," Peter said as he pulled on a t-shirt. "Then I can look for more toys for you."

Really?! Phoebe tapped her legs happily.

"Yes, really! Do you want to come out when you're done eating?"

Joy! Yup!

"Okay, don't eat too fast though. Remember what happened last time you didn't wait for your cricket to liquify."

Yup, Speter, Phoebe said in a tone that suggested she would have rolled her eyes if she could. Peter smirked.

Brushing away the webs, he grabbed the Iron Man action figure. An idea occurred to him. If Phoebe could vividly imagine hunting insects, then Peter could probably show her things about people instead of just trying to explain them with big words. First and foremost, he could show her that biting people would hurt them. Phoebe had already showed that she didn't like people to feel hurt.

"Hey, you wanna play together?" Peter asked when Phoebe was done eating.

To—tog—

"Together. That means we'll both play with these toys. You'll share them with me."

Okay!

Playing with Phoebe was . . . a trippy experience, to say the least. She was able to sustain the images she sent to Peter for several minutes, to the point that it took a conscious effort for him to see past her illusions. It made playing pretend that much more fun though. It was almost like playing a video game or watching a movie.

After a little while, Peter found an opportunity to add in the lesson. He placed the Iron Man figure next to one of the army men, who currently appeared to be a grasshopper, just as Phoebe was about to pounce on it. She grabbed Iron Man instead.

"Oh no! What are you going to do to me?" Peter said in a falsetto that sounded nothing like Tony Stark.

Phoebe dropped Iron Man without hesitation. Phoebe no hurt. You no food. She then proceeded to snatching the green army grasshopper.

Peter stared at her for a few seconds. "You—you know you shouldn't eat him?"

She looked at him oddly. Yup.

"Because he's a toy or—?"

People no food. Bugs food, Phoebe said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, yes, you're right. You're very, very right. I just—well, I didn't know you already knew that."

Speter share important thoughts. Peter caught a glimpse of the more complex train of thought behind that sentence. It had to do with how he had never even considered eating people. He only ever thought about protecting people. And humans were too big and soft to eat anyway in Phoebe's opinion.

Well, it was a start.

"Um, thank you. I think you have very important thoughts too."

Phoebe's pedipalps curled in her version of a smile. More play?

Peter smiled back. "Sure. We can play until my aunt gets back."

Aunt May did not return until nearly an hour later, but Peter didn't mind at all.


Some of you may have noticed I made the cat burglar look more like Catwoman than Black Cat. That would be because Catwoman is pretty much the only DC movie I really like. And her more literally catlike nature may or may not be important for the future of this story. And it gave me the opportunity to have even more fun with the title of this chapter.

I hope you don't mind this blend. I do plan on retaining a little of Black Cat's story (what little I remember of it at least). And the option is yours:

Do you want her to be called Catwoman or Black Cat in this story? Maybe even something else entirely? She's coming back soon, so let me know what you think!