As the sun was setting, Lyle was going home after a visit to his favorite fast-food joint, pulling along a huge pile of cheeseburgers, fries, chicken nuggets, hotdogs, and cola cans, all stacked up in a cart, a month's worth of junk food, covered by a sheet and tied together by rope. He would probably gobble it all up in a week tops.
Seeing the green light, he mirthfully crossed the road, when a long limousine halted in front of him, nearly driving over him. Yelping, he jumped back as the black window slowly went down to reveal Kathleen, smiling casually.
"Good evening, Mr. Owen."
"What the hell, man?!" Lyle was trying to catch his breath. "You trying to flatten me-"
The door opened.
"Get in and sit down, now." She ordered him.
Confused, Lyle obeyed and pulled his cart in, the interior of the limo being more than wide enough to fit it in.
"Sweet ride you got here." Lyle marveled as he sat next to her and the limo started driving.
"I have to admit, you pleasantly surprised me." Kathleen managed to drag out a compliment and offered him her hand. "I ordered you to keep you-know-who distracted long enough for me to convince Mr. and Mrs. Loud to reconsider my offer, but you went above and beyond. If I wasn't so happy, I'd scold you for making me waste hours sitting in that dump, in the company of those imbeciles, waiting for my cue to leave."
Realizing what she was referring to, Lyle chortled and shook her hand. "What did you expect? When I do a job, I don't half-ass it! I guess you had something to do with Ace getting those nasty burns?"
"Well, yes and no." Kathleen shrugged, ever so humbly. "I tricked one of his sisters to do it for me. I would pat myself on the back for it, but Leni is such a brainless twit, even a toddler could have deceived her."
"Oh, that's nothing! I spotted Taylor after his scuffle with his sister." Lyle happily recounted. "The guy was a wreck, he could barely walk. You weren't kidding about his sister."
"Yes, I've noticed." Kathleen recollected. "Pity Renee didn't go all the way."
"But that's not even the best part. Not only did they lose their sorry little apology gifts, but Lynn and that goth girl took a dip in the sewage dump!"
Kathleen blinked before bursting out with laughter, rocking in her seat. "Sewage dump? Is that why they came back home all wet? Lynn took a nosedive into the sewage dump!"
"Nah, she got pushed in!" Lyle said cluelessly.
"Funny, I wouldn't have pegged that runty redhead as being capable of overpowering Lynn?" Kathleen mused, much to Lyle's chagrin.
"As if! I had to save the little dweeb from getting pummeled by her!" he retorted, before realizing his mistake. "Oops?"
"What!" an enraged Kathleen grabbed him by the collar. "You let them see you!"
"Hey, chill out, will ya? It was only for a second and I was disguised?" Lyle argued, gesturing at his shades and hood. "I blindsided Lynn, and the goth brat mostly saw my boot. I doubt the dumb kid will figure out who I was?"
Hearing more details about Lynn and Lucy's misfortune helped ease the rich girl's anger and she let Lyle go, but she wasn't letting him off the hook that easy.
"You kicked a defenseless seven-year-old into the sewage dump? I gotta say, your excessive cruelty is very admirable, Lyle." Kathleen had to admit. "We might be seeing eye to eye after all."
"Same to you. You weren't playing when you took care of that twerp." Lyle shot her a finger gun.
"Aren't you the charmer…" she deadpanned. "But what did you do to keep them and the boys distracted after their sewer bath, if I may ask?"
"Oh…it was very simple." Lyle boasted. "See, I know these two meatheads, Hank and Hawk Hogan, who are huge momma's boys but also hulking bruisers, and I told them that the freaks were talking shit about their momma. They were furious and chased them with baseball bats."
"But they didn't catch them." Kathleen figured, much to her disappointment, remembering that only Ryan came back battered.
"Nope, but they still got what was coming to them." Lyle gleefully assured her. "The goth brat found an open manhole and the morons jumped into the sewers to escape the Hogans."
"What?" Kathleen's lips stretched into a wild smile. "So you're saying they spent the whole day wandering the sewer systems? Their sorry little comeback scheme literally went down the latrine?"
"What's a latrine?"
Once more, Kathleen rocked in her seat, overcome with uncontrollable laughter. "Oh, this is just too delicious! If only I could have seen the sorry looks on their faces!"
"Well, I certainly did." Lyle laughed. "And what about you? I reckon you were successful?"
"Of course I was, you cretin." Kathleen confirmed, trying to catch her breath. "Without those meddlers getting in my way, talking the rest of the family into my propositions was a piece of cake. Some more brochures, some photoshopped images, a little psychological manipulation with that simp Mr. Loud, and voila! The deal was sealed. They're leaving first thing tomorrow, whether Lynny and Linky like it or not."
"Awesome! And so are we?" Lyle asked excitedly. He couldn't wait for his paid vacation!
"We are." Kathleen nodded before raising a finger. "But first… since you were so successful on your first outing, I shall entrust you with another important task."
"What now?" Lyle's face dropped.
"The Louds are one thing, but I'd bet all my pageant awards that Ryan will follow them to Lake Michigan. He's always eager to assist his girlfriend in meddling with my plans."
"How?" Lyle shrugged. "He can't convince his folks to just drop everything and go on a trip to the same place as-"
"He won't ask his parents to accompany him. They are…how should I put it? Extreme workaholics. Far too busy to notice what he's doing." Kathleen explained. "He has free rein to go wherever he wants, whenever he wants. And we have to stop him from getting to Lake Michigan."
"But how?"
"That's what you're going to find out." Kathleen grinned. "You're going to watch him all night and find out what his travel plans are, then you contact me."
"Watch him all night?" Lyle asked incredulously. "Are you out of your mind? I'm gonna go home and sleep tonight."
Knowing he'd be reluctant, Kathleen responded with a patronizing smile. "I'm afraid that's off the table, partner. Either you do as you're told, or you can go back to house arrest, or worse…"
Lyle made a face. "What are you talking about? You bailed me out."
"Correct, and I can unbail you just as fast." Kathleen said sweetly. "I just need to make a few calls and you will rot in juvie for the rest of your formative years."
Dumbfounded, Lyle glowered at her. "Are you threatening me?"
Kathleen snapped her fingers and the limo came to a screeching halt. Not having buckled his seatbelt, Lyle was flung forwards and slammed his face against the wall. Hissing in pain, he rose up on his hands and knees.
"No. I'm simply negotiating with you." Kathleen insisted as she opened the door and kicked the dazed boy onto the sidewalk. Lyle groaned and sat up, finding Kathleen looming over him.
"Don't forget what I told you….I'm the powerful millionaire and you're the insignificant thug who has to earn his keep."
She dropped her faux-affable act and became all business as she added, "So earn your keep, or you can kiss this partnership, and your freedom, goodbye."
Boiling, Lyle clenched his teeth. He couldn't believe this. He was being held over a barrel by a broad. If anyone found out, he would be the laughing stock of Royal Woods.
"Glad we cleared things up." Kathleen went back to cheerful and closed the door. "See you in the morning."
The limo drove off, leaving Lyle to stand up and shake his fist.
"You can't….hey?" he realized that he left his stuff in the limo. "Give me back my stuff! Hey! I paid for it! Get back here!"
But the limbo was already gone, leaving him unable to do anything but stand there and rant unintelligibly.
In the tomboy's room, a tattered and mangled punching bag was lying on the floor, the sawdust that once filled it spread all across it. There were also two sets of small twin holes in the wall, surrounded by cracks in the paint, and right below them lay two dumbbells. There was also a pull-ups bar, which had been snapped in two.
Lana processed all the carnage as she gingerly approached her roommate's bed. It was dusk and the lights weren't turned on. Lynn was sprawled out, her knuckles white and staring at the ceiling with a miserable look, drenched in sweat.
"Lynn?"
"What do you want…traitor." Lynn grumbled, not even looking at her. She was still pissed but at least now she could think clearly again and fully appreciate the crappy situation her family was currently in.
"I didn't betray you." Lana replied, sounding hurt. "Nobody asked me 'bout-"
"Then why were you all friendly with them when I came back?" Lynn glared at her, making Lana step back and look away in shame.
"I didn't want to…really, I didn't." Lana stammered and held up a picture. "But then she showed me this picture and I…I got caught up-"
Lynn snatched it and saw that it was a photo of two figures in hiking gear posing on what seemed to be the top of a mountain. Kathleen and…
"Bobbie Fletcher?" Lynn blurted. "Is this some kind of bad joke?!"
"You know she's my idol…" Lana said meekly.
Lynn sat up, her tone harsh, "Oh, so because your "idol" was there, you're gonna accept bribes from Kathleen? Are ya planning to roll in the dirt on the slope Fletcher walked on and, oh… I dunno? Search for strands of hair that got snagged on branches and frame them on the wall, like some pathetic little fangirl, huh!"
Lana wilted, on the verge of tears.
"Well? Ara ya!" Lynn asked again.
"Lynn? Please, go easy on her." Lincoln said as he walked in with Lucy.
"Where have you two been?" Lynn scowled.
"Watching mom and Lori quarrel." Lucy explained. "Looks like Lola framed Lori for locking grandfather in his room."
"Kathleen covered her tracks alright…" Lincoln sighed, putting the bag of frozen peas on the nightstand.
Lana was taken aback as she saw the scorch marks on his face.
Lynn, meanwhile, didn't know if she should feel angry or satisfied by the news. At least one of the sell-outs got into trouble.
"So what's Lori in for?" she asked.
Lincoln shook his head. "Mom doesn't know either, we're heading to Lake Michigan tomorrow, so she can't ground her right now. They had a huge fight and mom stormed out saying Lori would regret it."
"Unfortunately, I don't think she's considering disowning her." Lucy said, earning a disapproving look from her brother.
"What? In some countries, like North Korea, you're a legal adult at sixteen. If she just sends Lori away, she won't be held accountable for child neglect-"
"And I hear Luan's grounding will be postponed for now." Lincoln continued. "Not sure what that will entail exactly, but I don't think mom knows either."
"If both of them will be put on lockdown at our vacation home, I'm down with that." Lynn huffed.
"What's with your face, Lincoln? You said you got banged up?" Lana asked. "Those don't look like bruises?"
"No…" he exhaled. "…I was burned, by hot water."
"Hot water?"
"Yes, just a friendly reminder of the kind of company you're in." Lynn scoffed sardonically.
"Lynn, please-"
"I'm not talking to you." Lynn turned away from her roommate, making Lana shed a tear.
"Lynn, just hear her out." Lincoln tried to defend her. "She didn't sell us out or anything?"
"Yes, temptation is a powerful force." Lucy added, putting a hand on Lana's shoulder. "The devil wouldn't have lured so many people to their doom if his temptations weren't….tempting."
"You're right, imagine if Kathleen knew Edwin Moore?" Lincoln asked the goth. "Would you just pass it up?"
Lucy started sweating. "Don't even joke about it."
"Precisely, and not like Lana had a saying in the matter." Lincoln turned to Lynn. "You remember how she refused to go along with Kathleen's crazy plan for our sisters to fake their disappearances?"
Remembering that, Lynn looked at Lana and felt like kicking herself. Her anger was consuming her again, making her hurt her family.
Her features softened a bit and she sighed before ruffling Lana's head, offering her a small smile.
"Sorry, squirt. I was just really worked up."
"You aren't mad?" Lana asked tentatively.
"I am mad…" Lynn groaned. "But I'm mad at Kathleen. She's using every dirty trick she can think of to steer you down the wrong path."
"Can I see that?" Lincoln took Lana's picture and examined it. "This…this looks photoshopped?"
"How…how do you know?"
"Eh…me and Clyde did this a lot when cosplaying." Lincoln said with some embarrassment. "Inserting ourselves in comic book art and such… but anyway. I don't think this picture is real."
He showed it to Lana. "Just look at the outline on Bobbie? It's all sharp and jagged… like she was cut and pasted into it. Kathleen, meanwhile, looks completely different."
"So… it's fake?"
Lynn huffed. "You bet it is. Kathleen doesn't strike me as the type who cares much for race car drivers. I'm sure the Swagger pic is fake too."
"Exactly, just what are the chances that she personally knows all the people we admire?" Lucy pointed out. "Just a few weeks ago, she didn't even know any of us, besides Luan."
"Uhhh…!" Lana tensed up and stomped her foot, feeling like a fool.
"I know it's frustrating when someone tricks ya." Lynn told her, knowing the feeling all too well. "But try to keep such things in mind next time you see that wretch."
"Yes, you should." Lincoln concurred with a grim look.
"So, how did you really get hurt?" Lana asked. "What happened?"
"Someone dosed me with scalding hot water." He admitted.
"Kathleen." Lynn growled.
"I didn't get a good look at the perpetrator, but I'm sure Kathleen pulled the strings, if nothing else." Lincoln replied. "She's trouble."
Lana's brow furrowed. "You don't think Lola did it?"
"No, she's mean but not that mean." Lincoln hoped. "If she did it, she was probably tricked into it."
"Pffft…you're giving her way too much credit." Lynn crossed her arms.
"Sociopathy is all about taking steps, Lincoln." Lucy explained. "First it's mean pranks and blackmail, then they start inflicting real harm, the next step is usually animal murder."
Lana gulped as Lucy pointed at the glass cages with the former's amphibian and reptilian pets. "So you better watch your pets, Lana."
"Which is why I keep saying to do away with her while the going is still good." They heard a muffled voice followed by tapping on the glass.
At this point, Lynn and Lincoln weren't all that surprised to find Ryan on the roof and leaning against the window frame.
They pulled the window up, allowing Ryan to jump in and he did a dramatic bow.
"So, have you figured out how to join us?" Lynn cut to the chase.
"Well, there's only one way." Ryan said nonchalantly. "I'll have to sneak away from home and follow you. If I'm lucky, I might catch a bus."
Lincoln's eyes widened. "You can't be serious? Won't your family-"
"Don't get cute with me, pipsqueak." Ryan flashed him a crooked grin and poked him in the chest. "My folks are who knows where, preoccupied with their jobs, and Renee? She's used to me going out and coming home late. It will take her at least 24 hours to figure out that something's up, at which point, I'll have covered my tracks thoroughly."
"Thanks, Ryan." Lynn smiled at him, though some guilt gnawed at her. "But you don't have to trouble yourself this much. This isn't your battle-"
"Ah-ah!" Ryan cut her off. "Are you kidding me? Getting roped into trouble with you guys is the most fun I had in years! What's the alternative? Me sitting at home and bickering with my bore of a sister?"
Lynn frowned. After witnessing what she did today, she was all for Ryan not getting into more arguments with his sister.
"I guess you make a fair point." Lincoln gave in. He appreciated all the help he could get and he knew all too well that there was no love lost between Ryan and Renee.
"Besides, like with the sibling duel, I'll be your secret weapon." Ryan leaned toward Lynn. "And this time, I'll work extra hard to stay hidden."
"As you wish, then take this. It has a map." Lincoln offered him one of the brochures Kathleen left behind.
Ryan opened it up and marveled at the landscape. "Very beautiful, very scenic, looks like a slice of heaven."
He tucked it into his pocket before grimacing. "Definitely a trap of some kind. And not just a tourist trap."
"What do you mean "trap"?" Lana asked. "What does Kathleen even want? Dragging us out there to her summer home?"
Lincoln shook his head. "Now that's something we'd love to know."
"So far, she seems to have been running one big, elaborate PR campaign." Lynn shrugged. "Trying to trick everyone in town into thinking she's Royal Woods golden girl."
"Yeah, and she's been bribing everyone not won over by her lies and, for lack of a better term, charisma." Ryan snarked.
"Seems she also wants everyone to think she and Luan made up, given how much Kathleen abused her at school, and I guess she wants to win over our entire family for extra credibility." Lincoln elaborated. "That's why she's been sending all those gifts, like dad's new van. Maybe she hopes that if everyone else likes her, they'll pressure Luan into publicly accepting her apology?"
"That does sound like something our sisters would be willing to do." Lucy said frankly, unsubtly eyeing Lynn, who felt her blood boil but couldn't argue on it.
"You're right, Vampire Girl." The jock snarked. "I'm sure the only reason they haven't tried it yet is because enough of us have sided with her, or at least against Kathleen."
"So she wants to butter us up?" Lana tried to comprehend. "Then…what's so wrong with going on a free vacation? Why not just play her for a patsy then?"
"Because…she'll just keep pestering us." Lincoln said. "I don't know much about her, but she clearly does not take "no" for an answer."
"That's one thing, but the real issue is that she's clearly planning something much more sinister." Lynn stated. "She wants to lure us into some kind of trap! I just know it."
"Yup, the chick's as whacked as Lyle." Ryan spun his finger next to his temple. "Nobody's that nice, friendly, and understanding without hiding a dark, dark secret."
"But how can you know that?"
"An excellent question." Ryan smiled coyly and pulled Lincoln closer. "I think your brother's face should be the first red flag."
"Oh?" Lana's brow knitted. She knew people could be really mean (being Lola's twin for one), but she didn't know that they would go this far to hurt someone, at least intentionally.
"And that's just the cherry on top. Need I remind you of the tale of the guy who tried to court her?" Lynn told her. "She admitted she was forced into this charity BS by her daddy after she mangled the guy."
"And that's the one victim whose fate is public knowledge." Ryan said ominously, his words making the little tomboy wince.
"Then…why are mom and dad going along with this?" a befuddled Lana asked. "Don't they know?"
"They know, but they also think Kathleen's sincere about being reformed." Lincoln explained. "Or at least, they are giving her the benefit of the doubt."
"You mean mom is giving her the benefit of the doubt." Lynn remarked bitterly. "Dad's just a spineless sucker."
"Then why don't you warn them?" Lana asked again.
"We're kids, and we ain't got no incriminating evidence to oust her." Ryan quipped. "If grownups were to choose between something they really, really want or heeding a kid's warning not to take it, they would snub the kid in no time."
Lincoln gave him a slight glare but at the same time, he knew Ryan had a point. In an adult's eye, a kid's words carried little weight without solid evidence to back up their claim.
"Our parents aren't like that. And we don't truly know mom's perfective on it…" Lincoln insisted and rubbed the back of his neck. "Which is why I'll go talk with her."
He thought that maybe, just maybe, he could convince her to call this off. But he didn't want to give his companions false hope.
"You think that will do any good?" Lucy asked him.
"It can't make things any worse. I know that much." Lincoln sighed.
"I guess…it's worth a try?" Lynn muttered.
"Take this." Lincoln gave Ryan a walkie-talkie before grabbing the pea bag. "We'll stay in touch, and good luck with Renee."
"Oh, I won't need luck. I've given her the slip plenty of times." Ryan insisted as Lincoln headed for the door.
Lincoln spared him a glance. "Well, you didn't today."
Ryan pursed his lips in annoyance as Lincoln left the room and closed the door.
Lucy rubbed her eyes. "I better hit the coffin, we'll need to be on alert tomorrow. Plus, Luan could use some company."
"You do that, Spooky. You've earned some rest." Ryan patted her shoulder and pointed at the floor. "If you hadn't found that manhole, the rest of us would be like that punching bag over there."
Lynn rolled her eyes. Why did he have to stroke her ego?
"It was nothing…" Lucy said humbly. "So, you'll catch up with us?"
"As fast as I can, that is a promise from Ryan Taylor." Ryan assured her. "Cross my heart, hope to die."
"Are you gonna hide out in the woods?" Lana asked.
"Yup, it will be a ball." Ryan chuckled. "I love the outdoors, sleeping under the stars, and fishing for food. This might as well be a vacation for me."
"I like camping too." Lana smiled. It saddened her that this trip had to come with so much baggage.
"Well, see you soon." Lucy waved and left for her room.
Now alone with the two tomboys, Ryan looked at Lana.
"Say, squirt? Mind fetching me a coke or some other drink? I'm parched."
"Sure, Ryan." Lana agreed and left too.
Turning to Lynn, Ryan seated himself next to her, idly rocking his legs, not quite sure how to start the conversation.
"So…I take it you've been…um… venting?"
"What gave it away?" the surly girl deadpanned, slouching.
"Just a hunch…" Ryan picked up one of the dumbbells, covered in wall paint dust, and tossed it away.
"Well, I saw that Linc ruffled your feather too just now…" she continued, still dour.
Ryan groaned. "Hate to say it but… he kinda did. Can you keep a secret?"
Lynn blinked and erected herself. She hadn't expected him to fess up that quick.
"Eh…sure. What?"
"I kinda blame myself for this mission doing down the crapper…" Ryan admitted. "In hindsight, that was a stupid plan I had, distracting Renee. Had I been with you, I could have clobbered that little dingleberry with ease. And I doubt Zit Face would have dared to attack if both of us were present."
Lynn's face softened. "It's not your fault, I was the one who blew it."
"But Twinkle Toes was right." Ryan grunted. "I meant to give Renny the slip and catch up with you guys as fast as possible, but I didn't."
"At least you did your part, I was the one who fell for Kathleen's trap and ditched mine."
"Yeah, you did…" Ryan couldn't argue. "And that's the problem. Kathleen knows how to press your buttons and she's exploiting it for all its worth."
Lynn gave him a confused look.
"You know what I mean. Bringing up your past? Claiming that you're a bad daughter and a bully, that stuff. She knows that's a sore spot for you and I can tell ya, she's been trying to get you to lose your cool at every turn. I've been observing her."
Lynn raised an eyebrow. "How would you know that?"
Ryan chortled. "Hello, did you forget who you're talking to? Hackling people is my hobby."
"Oh…" Lynn glanced down. "I guess I have a problem with hacklers."
"Yeah, but this cuts deeper than someone mocking your athletic skills. The queen bee knows how to sting your real bad, and she'll continue to do it. She knows we're wise to her tricks and she's trying to get rid of us. It's war now."
"But she fails to grasp one thing about you…" Ryan continued. "No matter how many times you fall, you always pick yourself up. You're no quitter."
Lynn grew a small smile. "That's true…quitting is for losers."
"It is, and I'm no quitter either." Ryan said proudly. "Believe me, I've screwed up plenty in my life but I kept on going. We're kindred spirits in that regard."
Lynn knew she wouldn't get him to go into more detail, it was rather miraculous that he opened up this much to her, mainly for the sake of comforting her.
"Thanks…" she said in a small voice and scooted closer to him, which he didn't mind.
"No need to thank me for speaking the truth." Ryan shrugged. "And speaking of truths, Kathleen might have won this round but she can't keep her winning streak forever."
"How do you know?"
"Because she's stretching herself too thin trying to be this nice, all-loving philanthropist." Ryan smirked cheekily. "It's taking a toll on her wicked mind, being unable to act on her desires. I know so, because it would drive me crazing having to act a like a goodie-good for weeks."
Lynn sniggered. "I guess that is true. If we keep fighting her, sooner or later…she might slip up?"
"Now you're getting it." Ryan threw his arm over her and patted her shoulder. "She'll slip up eventually and I guarantee you, once she slips up, it will be a spectacle, her true self will burst through like waves through a ruptured dam. And we have to make sure your family is there to witness it."
"Yeah, with their own eyes, with a camera, phone, anyway we can…" Lynn mused. "Maybe, by giving her a taste of her own medicine?"
"Exactly, it shouldn't be too hard to piss off someone with an ego higher than the Empire State Building." Ryan agreed. "But you gotta be careful, or else she will turn the tables on you again."
"I will be careful, I always spot an opening when playing soccer, I can do that with Kathleen too." Lynn said with strong conviction.
"That's the spirit." Ryan wiggled his fingers. "I promise you, it won't be too hard with your secret weapon pulling the strings from the shadows."
"Ryan…you're just awesome." Lynn said with renowned gusto.
"I know." He nodded not-so-humbly.
The two chuckled together before growing quiet. Realizing how close they were, both parties flushed a bit and after some hesitation, drew closer to each other.
"Hey, Ryan! I got your drink!"
The two froze and saw Lana standing there, holding a coke for their guest.
"Gee…thanks..." Ryan took it with a lopsided smile.
"Yeah…well done, Lana." Lynn had the same look.
