A SPECK OF golden light skips across the deck, jittering over the backs of working deckhands. It crawls up Edmund's boot, jumping to and fro between the High King and the dwarf beside him. He's sitting on a crate near the hatch, cleaning his prized longsword with the help of the ship's weapons master, Cruickshanks. A pile of swords sits beside them, newly polished and sharpened.
I reposition my dagger on the banister to steady it, angling the blade so its reflection carefully and slowly creeps along. The sliver of light appears again on Edmund's sleeve. With a few fine adjustments, it wobbles over his eyes and prompts him to squint, turning his head away. Grinning, I follow his movement so the light again jumps into his vision. He screws up his eyes and looks around irritably in search of the source.
"Arryn!" Lucy bursts from her cabin doors on the maindeck below, scanning for me.
I lower my dagger, shouting, "Up here!" from my perch on the poop deck.
She spins around at my voice, revealing a massive grin as her eyes dart about, finally landing on me with wild thrill. "Come to the balcony!" She urges. "Quickly! Come on!"
Her excitement is contagious. Before I know it, I'm racing down the steps to the maindeck, tucking the dagger into my belt as I dance past Drinian and Tavros.
Lucy calls for Eustace as well, telling him there are dolphins off the stern. But the scowling brat only looks once at her before returning to scribbling in his ratty diary. Selfishly, I'm relieved that he stays put. His foul attitude spoils enough of our fun most days.
The queen is undeterred by his refusal and ushers me inside, throwing the cabin doors open. Her brown hair bounces with each hurried stride as she crosses the room to the balcony. Gael, standing on her toes to see over the railing, turns at our approach.
"They're still there!" She says.
"Wonderful!"
Lucy and I join her outside, leaning out over the railing to watch the dolphins below. Five of them ride in the wake of the ship, their sleek bodies gliding through the water effortlessly. They weave between one another, spinning and leaping into the air in a silent dance.
I fold my arms over the wooden rail, content to watch the creatures forever.
"It's like they're dancing," Lucy says, voicing my own thoughts.
Gael looks up at her. "Why do you think they do that?"
In answer, the queen shrugs. "It's fun, I suppose. Like riding a wave coming to shore."
One of the dolphins emerges, its fins rising from the water as it arcs upward and dives back under, darting amongst its companions. I smile down at them, recalling the days I've spent riding that same wake.
"The current pushes you," I add. "So it helps you swim faster."
Lucy looks at me, her eyes disbelieving and wondrous. "Have you...?"
I nod. "I used to swim behind the ship all the time."
"Really?" She breathes. "Why don't you anymore?"
Because I was lost, then, I think. Because I'm not anymore.
I would dive into the water or take to the skies to feel a semblance of peace and belonging again. To let my heart wander back to Narnia, where it had always belonged. I swam behind the ship where no one and nothing could reach me and Drinian's voice and all the noises of the ship faded to nothing.
The world from the deck of the Dawn Treader had felt so small. But there — in the sea — it was impossibly large. It felt like I was home again, with the whole of Narnia spread before me. It took a long time to stop grasping at illusions and accept the Dawn Treader as my new home.
Yes, I think, my fingers tracking across the weathered, salt-stained wood of the railing. Home.
I watch the dolphins playing in the surf and say to Lucy, "Because I would rather be here instead."
A bright smile illuminates her face. After a moment, though, it fades, and her head tilts in curiosity. "But what about flying? Don't you miss it?"
Gael turns away from the dancing sea creatures to listen, wide-eyed as if my answer is suddenly far more interesting than the dolphins she was so enraptured with.
"A little," I admit. "I still go for a quick flight on my free days, sometimes. But it's...it's better if I don't run off on the crew all the time."
Lucy nods, seeming to pick up on the real issue without me saying so: it strains my relationship with the men and with Drinian, who always gets mad at me for chasing my own desires over the needs of the crew. But I can't say that and paint him in a bad light for Gael, listening so intently to our every word. Not when she holds the captain in such high regard.
For the past month, the young girl has spent all her time almost exclusively with her father, Lucy, and Drinian. Upon occasion, she's spoken with Caspian and listened to one of Reepicheep's stories, but rarely does she venture beyond her trio of trusted companions. Lucy has gradually been coaxing her out of her shell, introducing her to the crew and spending time with Edmund and me.
So far, Gael's remained as shy and timid as a fawn around me. But now, not bothering to hide her attentiveness to our conversation, her reservations seem to have receded for the moment. Curiosity and wonder shine where a part of her guarded shell once firmly resided.
"You can fly?" She asks me. The fascination in her voice springs a smile across my lips.
I give her a confirming nod. "Yes." She must not know I'm a chimæra. By the way her eyes skim over my shoulders, I'm sure she expects me to have a pair of wings hidden beneath my shirt. "Do you want to see?"
Her mouth falls open and she glances at Lucy, absolutely enthralled as she nods vigorously in answer.
So I take off my boots and unfasten the buttons of my blouse, holding my arms out so when they shrink to a fraction of their size and sprout feathers I beat downwards and flutter through the gaping neckline of my shirt, a crimson songbird on the wind.
Gael gasps in shock and watches me fly a circle around Lucy's head. I glide out over the open sea off the stern, above the dolphins that frolic in the Dawn Treader's wake, before returning to the balcony. Both girls grin widely as I take my perch on the railing.
Gael marvels at my new form, eyes glittering with wonder. "You're magic?"
"No." My voice is so small it gets carried away in the wind and prompts the girls to lean in closer, so I grow larger into my favourite flying form: a falcon, fashioned for speed and maneuverability. Gael jumps a little at the sudden transformation.
"No," I say again, this time more audible. "I'm a chimæra; I can change the way I look and turn into different creatures."
"Does it hurt?"
I look at her and the concern written on her face, remembering when Susan Pevensie asked me the same question so long ago in a little rowboat bound up Narnia's Great River — the very same day I first met her and Lucy and Peter and Edmund. The day everything began to blur and grow clearer all at once.
I had kept the truth from them, only revealing a sliver of what the transformations truly demanded. I hated acknowledging that cruel weakness which plagued my greatest strength. As if my body refused to comply with the very thing it was intended to do. I used to think it was something I had to learn to control, but now I've begun to think of it as a cycle of giving and taking.
I tell her, "It depends on a few things, like if I'm changing a lot or only a little. I don't feel a thing if it's small, like the length of my hair. But if it's something really different, it might hurt a bit. And if I don't give myself time to heal between changes, then it starts to pile up and hurt more every time."
Gael turns sullen and looks at her feet, a piece of her guarded shyness falling back into place. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to..."
"Oh, don't apologize." I try to save the moment before it slips away. "I offered. And I haven't shifted in weeks, so I feel fine. Actually," I open my wings, feeling the breeze rush over my feathers. "it's really nice to fly again."
The wind itself seems to beckon me back to the sky, urging me off the banister with each gust as if it knows how fiercely I wish to fly in its embrace.
"It must be amazing," Lucy says. Her eyes take in my wings with a wistful sheen. "Sometimes I have this dream that I'm flying with Susan around the cliffs of Cair Paravel." She smiles. "It's my favourite. It always makes me think of you."
"Do you want to try it?" I ask her. "I can take you out."
"Oh, you would?" Lucy gasps, her voice jumping higher. "But won't you get in trouble?"
"Not if it's a request from the Queen of Narnia," I declare with a teasing lilt.
Lucy grins, a steely resolve settling into place. "Let's do it," she decides, and spins around to ask Gael, "What do you say? Would you like to fly with Arryn?"
The young girl looks between her and I, puzzled and a little apprehensive. "Um…maybe. But I have to ask Papa, first."
"Let's see if he's on the maindeck, shall we?"
Lucy and Gael head back through the stateroom to the deck in search of Rhince while I take the long way around, gliding in a wide arc around the ship. I climb above the mast, watching the goings of the crew from my vantage: Tavros and Rynelf talking at the helm, Rithar lounging with Dusnun in the rigging, Edmund working with Cruickshanks to work the last of the imperfections from his blade. No sign of Drinian, to my relief. The captain must be in his cabin.
I watch as Gael scampers up to her father on the forecastle and tugs on his shirt, speaking to him for a few minutes. When Lucy turns her head to look for me among the clouds, I soar downward to meet them.
I pick an open space on the deck so I have room to take my gryphon form just as I land, making the ship lurch. A frightened curse erupts from Rennor, who'd just emerged from the cabin beneath the forecastle.
"What are you doing?" He demands, steadying himself against the wall while Caprius laughs heartily at him. "Scared the life out of me!"
"Sorry."
He continues on his way with a quick glance toward the helm, musing, "Captain's gonna be pissed."
Amusement filters across the link, pulling my gaze toward its source. Near the hatch, Edmund watches me with a spirited smile, sword balanced on his knee.
I tilt my head in a silent request. Come fly with me.
His grin widens. Lucy, though, beats him to it. She saunters down the forecastle steps with Gael at her side. Rhince must have said yes, but the girl still looks frightened when she takes in my new form. And when Lucy ushers her to climb onto my back, she hesitates and looks over her shoulder at her father.
Lucy steps in front of her. "Do you want me to go first?"
At Gael's confirming nod, Lucy places a reassuring hand on her shoulder and smiles warmly. Then she sends her back to her father so I have a clear space to take off.
Susan, I think to myself. She's so much like Susan.
"Ready?" I ask, lowering myself to the deck for her to climb on.
She gives me an excited grin. "Absolutely."
I stand to my full height and unfurl my wings, shaking them out experimentally. Lucy's arms tighten around my neck, as if suddenly struck by fear.
"Oh, I'm nervous! You're starting slow, right? I really don't want to fall into the water."
"Don't worry, I won't let you fall." The muscles in my arms and legs coil in anticipation. "Ready?"
Her fingers wound tighter into my fur and she breathes an airy "Yes."
Exhilaration rushes through me as I leap off the deck, wings surging downward to lift us into the air. Lucy is screaming, clutching onto me with all her strength. But she doesn't fall. We glide out over the roiling sea waves, water spraying in our faces, wind roaring, and her screams turn to laughter.
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author's note
me last update: oh i'm so productive in the summer ! i can't wait to write more
me a month later: oops ! haha i lied :) here is the next chapter tho :)))
so far the only thing I've been productive in is sun tanning (& also writing an avatar fic) lmao i apologize for making y'all wait over a month just for this unsatisfactory lil chapter. i am also v disappointed in it
something abt it was just so boring and unappealing to write and i really dragged my ass to finish it. i feel so relieved to have it done that i'm not even going to try to make it better lol i'm leaving it as it is (trashhh) before i can bash my head into a wall
i promise there will finally be some cute edryn in the next chapter because i miss them so much
