Chapter 17: A Purrfect Day
Three things to note:
1- It turns out I've got a gigaton of homework this semester. Updates will be slow until June at least. But I'm really looking forward to writing the next few chapters.
2- I realized that OfficialUSMWriter has written quite a bit about spidery Peter too! I would just like to give a shout-out to her great work, particularly her Animal Instincts stories!
3- I still don't own Spider-Man.
And now a few replies.
Pink Lemondade: Thank you! I'm afraid Peter has other things on his mind aside from Harry right now, but you've got a whole lot more fun explanation to look forward too! I'm going to warn you now, Sam is my favorite character to write!
RevengePanda: It is such a coincidence that you mention that now. If you haven't read this chapter's title yet, I suggest you do so ;)
AvidReader: Teehee! I do love a good mystery! There have been and will be more hints to help you figure it out. But I'm going to do my best to surprise and wow you when the time comes!
Peter woke to someone entering his room. The lights were off in his room, but on in the hallway of the Med Bay, so the figure was initially a silhouette. Even right out of the haze of sleep, he could make a fairly good guess as to who it was based on the outline alone. Then her eyes flashed a golden yellow, and Peter was certain.
"Pete?" Ava asked. "You awake?"
He yawned. "Yeah, I am now."
"Sorry, I couldn't really tell."
Peter almost asked what she meant until he remembered. He pressed his head back into the pillow. "Ugh, that's right. I sleep like a zombie."
"Zombies don't sleep," Ava chastised. "Some don't even have eyes. Dr. Connors actually said you sleep like dolphins."
"Dolphins?"
"They sleep with one eye open." She shrugged, coming to stand by his bedside. She was in civilian clothes now. "Your aunt asked us if you had seemed more tired lately. We all agreed with Connors that you've been less tired."
Peter grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I was really hoping it was just a positive, you know? I've felt really good, and I can stay up extra late. I've been using the time to hang out with Phoebe since she's nocturnal too."
"Of course you would. I bet you take the time to teach her more." Ava rolled her eyes lightheartedly. "You really never noticed that your eyes stayed open?"
He shook his head. "No. I mean, I've been a light sleeper ever since the spider bite. By the time morning comes I'm usually half-awake anyway. I did notice when I started to zone out in class, but I don't really consider that sleeping. It's more like . . . like meditating with Danny. I'm relaxed, but not fully asleep."
"Well, I never noticed anything strange, and you're still competing for top grade, so I'd say that sounds right."
He smiled briefly. "It's kind of surreal though, to know that my eyes just don't close. I can't see myself sleeping, but I know it probably looks creepy." He hesitated. "How creepy does it look?"
"It's not creepy, per say. It is a little strange to see you with your eyes open when I know you're asleep. Not that they're fully open. They look more half closed, like you're in the process of falling asleep. And your eyes do close completely sometimes. They were closed when you first went to sleep, and when you passed out. Then again, that might have been from the drugs and the circumstances." Ava paused thoughtfully. "That's not too bad, right?"
"Except all of you saw me sleeping, and that's embarrassing regardless, let alone with this."
"We've all seen you asleep before. Or unconscious in general."
"Gee, that's so reassuring." Peter rolled his neck, hearing it crack. It never felt good to be cooped up in a bed. "What time is it? Did you feed Phoebe?"
"Yes, that's why I came now before everyone else wakes up. It's five in the morning now. I got back a few hours ago. Phoebe and I actually had a really fun time together."
Peter raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?"
Ava grinned widely as she sat at the foot of his bed, fangs gleaming in the dark. "I got into your room before your aunt even got home. I shouldn't have rushed to give Phoebe food, but I did, and I opened the wrong package. It was the one with living crickets and a bunch hopped out. I was so upset! But then I started watching them jump around, and my amulet was still on, and I had an idea. I let Phoebe out and we hunted them together. It was so much fun! Phoebe could learn a thing or two about stealth, but she's not bad at all." She giggled briefly before clearing her throat. Her grin thinned to a more natural size. "I didn't understand a word she tried to tell me, but I think she had fun too."
Torn between gawking and laughing, Peter settled on a gentle and slightly awkward chuckle. "I would say I'm sorry it turned out to be so much work, but it seems like you didn't mind at all."
"Nope, Phoebe's a real sweetheart. I think she understood me when I told her we were done. She let me put her back in her terrarium without a fuss."
Peter smiled proudly. Phoebe was fed and she even got a chance to play today. Although he knew he wouldn't be perfectly satisfied until he got home to see her for himself, the news came as some relief.
"You know," Ava continued. "I think that turned out to be an educational game. For hunting, I mean. You said that you need to teach her all those survival skills. You should try it with her sometime."
"Maybe," Peter agreed noncommittally. She had a point, even if he wanted to ignore it at the moment. He cast around for a change of topic and noticed her eyes flash again. Realization trickled into his head. "Ava, is your amulet still activated?"
"Yeah." She pulled a chain on her neck, lifting the amulet from under her shirt. "I figured I needed extra stealth to sneak into your place. And it came in extra handy with the bugs. We felines do enjoy catching them."
"Then you've had it on for about twelve hours straight. Aren't you supposed to not overuse it or something?"
Ava looked away. "Well, I promised not to use it needlessly. I probably should deactivate it now, though." She turned it over in her hand. "Before I do, I just want you to know that I think I finally understand. Part of the reason I left it on was because it let me understand why you used your venom with Kraven. And then I had all that fun with Phoebe by exercising some of my killer instincts. I get it now. I get why you feel different. We are different. And . . . maybe I am a little less different than you when I'm not White Tiger. But I still understand."
Peter stared at her for a long moment. The more he thought about what she said, the more his heart dropped. "Are you—are you saying you think I'm right? I am becoming too spidery?"
"What? No! That's not what I mean at all!" Ava put her fist over her mouth. "Did I say it wrong? Yes I did. I said the wrong thing. I'm sorry, Pete. What I really mean is that—um—give me a second. I want to get it right this time."
"Just be honest," Peter said softly. "You promised to be honest."
"I'm trying to be honest! See? This is why I told the guys yesterday." She ran both hands through her hair. "I'm not good at helping people like this. I'm not good at . . . talking."
"But you're the best at oral reports!"
"That's in class, not real life! All I do is research the topic and write it up. Everything I say in class is completely scripted. Real conversations aren't. I've been utterly shocked that I haven't offended you before now."
"You're not offending me. If it's the truth, it's the truth. There's no changing that."
"It's not the truth, you hear me?" Ava said angrily before glancing back at the hallway. No one was passing, which was something Peter had failed to consider before. He waited for her to face him again. When she did, her eyes were a little sad. "Pete, understanding that there's a difference isn't the same as agreeing that there's a huge difference, right?"
"I guess." He found himself the recipient of a fierce glare. "I mean, yeah, you're right."
"I am right. So what I'm really trying to tell you is that . . . ugh, hold on, I need to figure out how to word this."
She looked away again. Peter waited patiently. He supposed that he might have jumped to conclusions. He just felt insecure all over again after . . . biting someone. It just wasn't something he had ever expected doing, much less with venom (at least while he was in a right state of mind). And dealing with his aunt the moment he had woken up hadn't helped either—
That was rude to think, wasn't it? Peter usually enjoyed his aunt's company no matter what. So why did he feel just a little sour about waking up to her? Maybe it wasn't so much about her being there as it was about confirming his spider nap theory right then and there. It was a lot to deal with all in one shot.
He wasn't actually afraid of talking to his aunt about his spider stuff. That was absurd.
He just tried really hard to avoid it . . .
Maybe he was a little afraid.
"Okay," Ava said. "I think I've got it. When I was talking to the guys yesterday, they were a little surprised because you don't really seem different than a 'normal' person. Not in a bad way at least. People are already different from each other, so what's the big deal about you being your own special kind of different? You like to spin webs, but a lot of other people also like to knit. You like to eat bugs, but that's not very different from all the other food preferences people have. It's not even much weirder than your other food preferences. Who else do you know dips their chicken nuggets in vanilla ice cream?"
"You dip French fries. Why can't I dip nuggets? It's all the same."
She huffed exasperatedly. "It's not. It's really not." She eyed him. "So does that make more sense now?"
Peter smiled. "Yeah, it does. You really do have a way with words."
"Are you being sarcastic?"
"No! I honestly think you're very eloquent. We probably only had the misunderstanding since it's five in the morning and you haven't slept."
"I took a quick nap before I came to bother you." Ava looked down at her amulet again before she removed it from around her neck. Its eyes stopped glowing and hers stopped shining. She sighed. "Now it looks so dark in here."
Peter glanced around at the darkness he couldn't see, hesitating. "Um—Ava? I'm just asking this out of curiosity, but . . . Do you feel any different about me now that your amulet is off?"
She looked at him, grinning slightly. "Maybe I'm not as jealous that you got to bite Kraven first, but aside from that, no. I would tell you if I did."
"Okay." Peter rolled his shoulders. "I'm sorry, but could you get off for a second? I really need to get up and stretch."
Ava complied, even pulling his sheets off. Peter was glad she couldn't see his blush now. Even though he was aware that they saw each other in tight spandex all the time, he felt far too revealed with only a hospital gown. He sat up, pushing himself out of bed—
Ow. Hiss.
"You okay?" Ava asked.
"I'm fine," Peter assured her quickly. "My wrists just still hurt." He rolled them, and pain lanced his arm again. "They shouldn't hurt this bad anymore."
"Well, it was pretty severe. Your skin is probably healed, but I'm not surprised if the area is still sensitive."
Peter shook his head, feeling uneasy. "No, this isn't just sensitivity." Working carefully, he found the edge of one bandage and unraveled it.
If he were more prone to swearing, he would have done so.
Maybe he swore a little. Ava wouldn't tattle to May anyway.
"What is it?" Ava sounded worried now. "I can't see. Where's the light switch in this room?"
"Uh—on the left side of the doorway. We're going to have to call Doc Connors."
"Why?" She flipped the switch, turning back to him. "Oh."
Peter looked up from the open wounds. "Yeah, uh oh."
May hurried into the Med Bay for the second time in the last ten hours. She almost would have said it was the same day, until Dr. Connors reminded her that midnight had come and gone a while ago.
This time, Peter was in the medical lab, sitting on an examination table. Connors was nearby at the computer. Even Fury was there. May's pace didn't slow; his presence never hindered her.
"What happened now?" she asked immediately. "Peter, they told me you aren't healing. Are you all right?"
"I feel fine, Aunt May," Peter assured her quickly. With the way his arms and fingers twitched, May could tell he was dying to rub the back of his neck. He was worried, which made her even more worried. "My healing factor seems to be on the fritz though."
"How 'on the fritz' are we talking about?" May directed this question mostly at the doctor.
Connors looked away from the screen. "That is the million-dollar question, isn't it? Preliminary tests suggest that Peter's choice of terminology is actually . . . a very accurate analogy, to be honest."
May blinked at him. "I'm sorry, but what is that supposed to mean?"
The doctor sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, my apologies. I can't pull all-nighters like I used to. I gave the Director a better explanation. In a nutshell, your nephew's repair system is acting like it's overwhelmed or suppressed. Considering recent events, I'd say it's suppressed. That's why Fury called you."
Fury stepped forward, and all eyes turned to him. "Relax, Ms. Parker. I've seen this before. It's just the stress getting to him."
"Stress?" Peter repeated, pouting. "I'm not stressed."
"Your biochemistry says you are," Connors refuted.
May felt a little relieved to hear the diagnosis, if only because it was at least a more common one. She could deal with an overly stressed teenager. She could help. It wasn't often that she could help him with anything Spider-Man related, so she was more than glad to when she could.
"It's okay, Peter," she said. "You do a lot. Maybe you're used to the stress, but that doesn't mean it just goes away." She turned to Fury. "I'm guessing this is why you asked me to be ready to take him home anyway."
"Home?" Peter perked up at that.
It might have been a trick of the light, but it looked like Fury smiled. "Yes, we're sending you home. It's Shield protocol. You don't know how many heroes overwork themselves."
"How long do I have to stay at home?" Peter asked suspiciously.
"However long it takes for your healing to return to normal."
"And how long should that take?"
"That depends on you."
When Peter continued to pout, May walked over to put her hand on his shoulder. She squeezed it reassuringly. "It'll be fine. You already agreed to take it easy today. Just let yourself relax for a while."
"I get that. I'm okay with it. I'm just confused why this happened now. There were other times when I was way more stressed than this, and I've never had an issue with healing."
"Yesterday was stressful though," May reminded him.
Peter shrugged, fidgeted. "Not a whole lot more than usual."
May sighed; he was trying to make light of things, hiding them again. She knew that was how he coped, but it meant she had to guess at what he was really feeling. Right now, she guessed he was more than a little torn up inside. "And then you wonder why I worry about you," she said dryly, trying for a smile, but it might have come out a bit pained. She turned to the other two men. "Can he come home now?"
Connors nodded. "I added some more healing creams and new bandages shortly before you came. All you'll need to do is make sure he doesn't lift anything heavier than his phone. I'll evaluate his wounds again in the morning to see if there's any progress."
"I'll probably be right as rain by then," Peter said confidently.
"I hope so." May wiggled the bag of his clothes. "Will you need any help changing?"
"Nope, I'm good," he answered quickly, sliding off of the table. "We probably ought to go before you embarrass me in front of Fury."
Fury snorted briefly. "Parker, you don't need anyone to embarrass you."
"I'm going to pretend that's a compliment."
Peter led the way back out. Connors called out just as they were passing through the doorway, "Oh, and don't forget to eat some insects! The protein may help!"
May noticed Peter wince at that. "Not in the mood for crickets this morning?" she asked softly.
He glanced at her before facing forward again. His head hung slightly, and he closed his eyes. He didn't stop walking though. May nearly told him to be careful, but he turned the next corner perfectly, not even coming close to the wall. "It's—actually it's the exact opposite. I'm probably going to run up to my room to nibble a bit while you make breakfast."
"Okay, no problem. What else do you want this morning?"
"Anything's fine with me."
"All right, I was thinking of buying some fresh bagels."
Peter opened his eyes again. "Everything bagels?"
May smirked. "I should probably get a variety for everyone, but yes, I'll make sure you have plenty of everything bagels."
"Everyone?"
"Last night I convinced Fury to give your whole team off from school today. You get to hang out and do whatever it is you teenagers do nowadays. Of course, I know you'll still spend time with your old Aunt May, but I won't force you to be with me all day. You're a big boy now who needs his space."
He stuck out his tongue, but smiled. "Whenever you call me a big boy, I feel like a little kid."
"Should I call you a kid so you can feel all grown up?"
Peter scrunched his nose. "Nah, everyone at Shield already calls me that."
"What should I call you then? My little Petey?"
"You know, studies show that you shouldn't mortify teenagers in front of their idols."
May barely held back a laugh. "Really? I didn't know you were into psychology."
"I'm a polymath."
"A poly-what?"
"I like a bunch of stuff. Chemistry's my favorite, but I like anything science related. Which reminds me; I have to ask Mr. Stark how he managed to get so many different degrees. I mean, most of them are honorary, but still . . ."
May's heart swelled with pride at his determination. Most teenagers his age were just barely beginning to think about their goals in life, and here her nephew already had so much planned. He already had so much done. Sometimes she still had to remind herself that the boy walking beside her was—maybe not quite a seasoned superhero, but an experienced one nonetheless.
They came to a stop at the room he had stayed in overnight. May handed him the folded clothes and pulled the curtains closed before stepping out. She had her doubts about his ability to change right now, but she was willing to give him a chance. She wouldn't rush in until he asked.
Peter hissed instead. Did that count as asking? But then a minute later: "May?"
"Yes?"
"I might need some help."
"Of course, Peter."
True to his word, the first thing Peter did when he got home was head straight to his room. Before he even started up the stairs he tried mentally calling to Phoebe. Because as much as he trusted Ava, he was still the only one who could understand if Phoebe was really okay or not.
Phoebe? Can you hear me?
Speter? Phoebe's message was harder to make out at this distance. Speter home!
Exhaling in relief, Peter rushed the rest of the way. He didn't pull out her Jungle Box this time, but he immediately opened the hatch. Phoebe jumped out and crawled up his arm. He had missed her small weight on his shoulder.
Here was one of the few girls in his life he wasn't afraid to talk to. Not anymore, at least.
"Hey, Phoebe. How are you doing?"
Phoebe okay now.
Peter frowned. "Only now? You weren't okay before?"
Phoebe miss Speter! Ava friend say Speter hurt!
"She shouldn't have told you that. I'm fine."
No, Phoebe insisted. Speter hurt. She went back down his arm and began to carefully prod the bandages.
"Please don't touch those." He looked her in the eyes. All eight seemed to stare back at him intently. "Okay, you're right, I am hurt. But it's not that bad. I'll be better in a little while." Hopefully.
White thing help?
"They're called bandages. They keep the hurt spot clean and safe so it can heal properly."
Speter need more white? Phoebe put a leg to her behind, pulling out some silk. Peter chuckled.
"No thank you. I have plenty. You're right that webs work similarly though. I use them as bandages all the time." He lifted her up to eye-level. "I appreciate your concern. You're very thoughtful."
She leaned forward to nuzzle his cheek. After a moment's hesitation, Peter nuzzled her back. He remembered how much he had appreciated hugs from his aunt and uncle when he was little, and Phoebe seemed to like the contact. Her pedipalps curved into her own unique smile. And she began to vibrate softly. Purring.
The first time Phoebe had purred, Peter had been a little confused. He had first assumed she was shivering because she was cold. But she was warm and the vibrations soon became audible. He had still been confused though because, according to his research, only male spiders purred to attract a mate, and Phoebe was neither a male or in love. Peter had puzzled over that for a short while until he realized that love didn't have to mean finding a mate. Phoebe wasn't simpleminded. There was a whole sleuth of other complicated emotions she felt, and the pattern soon became obvious. She usually only purred when she was happy. So he concluded that her purring was more like a cat's; a sign of contentment.
Which meant that she was happy now. That was good.
"I'm sorry I worried you last night. I wasn't expecting to be attacked. Although you'd think I knew better than that by now."
Phoebe stiffened. Her thoughts sharpened with anger. Who hurt Speter?
Peter swallowed, backing out of her thoughts. That was astoundingly close to how he felt whenever his friends were threatened. That was a lot like how he had felt last night.
He didn't know how to feel about that.
It didn't help that it brought back the memories clearly. Kraven, looming. Blood, dripping.
Mind-to-mind communication was not for the faint of heart.
Who Kraven?
Peter focused on Phoebe again. "Um—he's—Kraven's a bad guy. A really bad guy."
Speter eat Kraven?
He shook his head forcibly. "No! No, of course not! Eating people is bad! Biting them is bad! I was sort of bad yesterday."
But Speter good . . . Phoebe trailed off, obviously confused by the paradox.
"It's really complicated," Peter admitted. "I was scared, and I wasn't thinking straight. And I was in a lot of danger. So, under the circumstances . . ." He sighed. "It's—I didn't know what else to do. Do you think it was wrong to bite him like that?"
Phoebe was still staring him directly in the eye. She wasn't quite capable of an intense gaze, but Peter could deduce she was probing his mind like he had just tried with her. In fact, she was probably doing a better job of it.
Peter waited patiently for the second time today. He felt a lot less sure now about his resolution to bite more people if the need arose. What had he been thinking? No sane person would even consider something like that!
No sane human would consider it.
Except Ava. Ava had said she thought about biting Kraven too. And she was also of the opinion that it was okay to act differently than a normal human. But she was the only one so far. Peter would have to wait until he heard the rest of the team's opinions. And that entailed waiting for them to be away from May.
. . . Maybe it was time for him to acknowledge this . . . fear? Was he honestly afraid of what his aunt would think if she knew everything?
Yes, yes he was. Her opinion was one of the few Peter really cared about. What would she think if she knew how he was seriously questioning how bad it was that he bit Kraven? What would she think about the fact that he was debating the issue with a spider? What if she knew how much he would have preferred sleeping on the ceiling last night, where he usually liked to hide out after a big scare?
He could handle changing for her, for the better. But he wasn't ready to face the chance that he was too changed in the opposite direction. The chance that May might be disappointed.
The chance that the creation of Spider-Man had caused her to lose both of the Parker men in her life.
Peter wasn't even being dramatic this time. He really had turned into a monster in the Savage Lands. 'Something that wasn't him', that's what May had called it. The thing that had run around the jungle trying to eat dinosaurs and giant insects and Wolverine had not been Peter Parker. Except in body. And he had a fair amount of those memories anyway. And now he had bitten another person . . .
It was scary to think that maybe that had been him, or at least a twisted version of him. One that didn't care about consequences or responsibilities.
May didn't think it had been him though. Well, she hadn't thought it was him last time they spoke. What did she think now? She had given him a bit of a weird look earlier. She had smiled, but it had looked sort of sad, pitying, worried . . .
Phoebe apparently knew that he was getting distracted. She tapped his hand. Phoebe think . . . bite not good, but hurt Speter not good. Kraven bad . . . She lifted her legs in a sort of shrug, the rest of her unspoken thoughts coalescing into something Peter had to unravel himself. She was scared of the idea that she might not have seen him today if he hadn't bitten Kraven. But at the same time, she was remembering how proud he had been when she told him she already understood it was mean to eat people. Yet he hadn't been trying to eat anyone . . .
Peter swallowed thickly. Why was Phoebe the only one admitting that he had been at least a little wrong in biting Kraven? Was everyone else just trying to be kind and understanding? "So you think I shouldn't bite anyone else, even if they're trying to hurt me or my friends?"
Phoebe don't know. Phoebe want Speter safe.
She was beginning to sound a little distressed, and that made Peter's heart pang guiltily. "I'm sorry, this is a really deep and confusing conversation. I shouldn't have brought it up. Let's talk about something happier now. Like—um—Did you have fun with Ava this morning?"
Yup! Bug game! Phoebe wiggled and began to regale him with the tale of her midnight hunt. She included images at times. It looked like a fast-paced game of tag. Sometimes the scenes included Ava. Most often she was seen perching on the end of his bed, waiting for a cricket to pounce on. Ava seemed to loom so tall from Phoebe's point of view, but Phoebe didn't seem to feel intimidated by her presence. Peter listened and watched while he grabbed a jar of crickets. He ate them like popcorn, fully engrossed in her tale, and the previous conversation was soon forgotten, at least for now.
"That does sound like it was a lot of fun," Peter said when she finished. "I'm really glad that you weren't bored here all night."
Speter play bug game?
"I can't while my wrists are still hurt, but . . . maybe when I'm better."
Yay!
Now that he had sort of seen them in action, Peter was much more intrigued by the idea of this 'bug game'. Because if Ava could do it and still seem mostly human, then maybe he could too. She was right when she said Phoebe did need the practice.
Peter could tell when her mental images were a bit exaggerated. He didn't quite believe that last scene where she practically traversed the length of his room in one leap.
"Breakfast is ready!" May called from the kitchen. "And your friends will be arriving soon!"
"All right, I'm coming!" Peter brought Phoebe back to the terrarium. "Your breakfast is already inside. I think I might be able to hear you from downstairs, so call me if you need anything. But I probably won't be able to let you out again until tonight."
Okay. See later!
Peter smiled. He hadn't explicitly taught her that phrase, but that's what made it so nice to hear. "See you later."
Breakfast ended up being very laid back. The mood was almost tranquil, even with the entire team present. They all sat around the table, eating bagels, chatting, watching whatever was on TV at this time when they were usually at school. It was almost like the days when they all lived here, except now May knew the truth about everyone, so they were free to talk about anything.
Anything but yesterday. They were all avoiding the topic like the plague, and so Peter followed suit. He was in no rush to bring it up, especially since he was still sorting it out himself. Talking to Phoebe had brought everything back into question.
At least Peter was used to that. He second guessed himself all the time. Being a leader meant you had to be extra sure about yourself before you started advising others. Of course, being a leader also often entailed acting like you always knew what you were doing. But that was mostly for morale. And he liked to seem like he was actually a cool hero.
Huh, he had all these pearls of wisdom about leadership. Was he actually that good at it already? Luke thought so.
Peter allowed himself a moment to remember the feeling of warm pride from yesterday.
"What are you smirking about, Webs?" Sam asked from his spot across the table.
"Nothing," Peter replied quickly.
"Come on, spit it out."
Peter took a big bite of his bagel. "Wha? Spi—thi—ou—?"
"Yo, Pete, some of us are trying to eat here." Luke scrunched his face, but chuckled all the same.
"I wanna know what you were thinking!" Sam practically whined.
"Do we really want to know what goes on in his head when he's smirking like that?" Ava questioned dubiously. "That's his pun smirk."
Swallowing his mouthful, Peter scoffed. "I do not have a smirk designated for puns."
"It is true," Danny agreed. "He is a man of many faces."
"Yeah, but he usually only smirks like that when he's about to say some really bad joke," Ava rebuked.
"Who said they're bad jokes?"
"Everyone," everyone said.
To the side, May was trying to hide her laughter. Peter turned to her. "My jokes aren't that bad, right Aunt May?"
"You've come up with some very clever remarks," she admitted. "But how would we be able to tell when you have a good joke unless you also have some bad ones?"
Peter pouted as the rest laughed. "At least I try. I don't see Ava or Danny trying to make jokes."
"Maybe because that's not our job?" Ava said. "We're heroes and Shield agents, not standup comedians."
"Well, I don't have time to be a standup comedian on top of everything else, so I multitask."
May laughed. "That's my boy. Always so ambitious." She opened the fridge. "Does anyone need anything else to drink?"
Peter felt his cheeks tinge pink as he joined with Danny and Luke to request more juice. The others didn't hold May's compliment against him though. They were far too used to her occasional embarrassing remarks. They knew it was always on purpose and always with kind intent.
Sam and Luke began to argue about whatever was on TV. Peter listened in with amusement. He wasn't quite familiar with the show, but apparently they were. Sam was listing off a bunch of names, and Luke was reminding him of some bizarre-sounding event. The funny part was that it sounded a lot like stuff they had gone through at Shield.
Hm, but was it good that their lives sounded like a TV drama? Then again, most shows were made to mimic and exaggerate real life, which would mean that their lives were just . . . exaggerated. Unsure what to think about that, Peter shrugged it off as he took another everything bagel. It was harder than he had thought it would be to eat without twisting or turning his wrists, but where there was hunger there was a way.
Breakfast finished smoothly. Peter was forced to sit out cleanup. Somehow, he didn't mind. May announced that she was leaving the team in charge of Peter for a few hours while she tended to the garden. Peter did mind her phrasing, but appreciated the gesture.
Today of all days, he really needed to speak to his team alone.
The familiar feeling of nervousness began to creep over him as the time approached to talk to them.
Ava hadn't felt this nervous in years.
Well, maybe not years. Being a Shield agent in training meant there were plenty of opportunities to feel stressed and overworked. But this wasn't the same sort of feeling, because she wasn't just trying her best to choose and execute the proper protocols for a mission. She was here, with the team, in a place that was practically home, about to witness whether or not she had made the right choice in tattling on Peter.
Yes, she knew he wasn't upset at her. She knew he understood her reasons. But that didn't mean it was right yet. Peter was just nice that way, like how he hadn't gotten angry with their miscommunication this morning. He probably wouldn't hold it against her even if this turned into a fiasco.
He was so annoyingly selfless that way. If annoying truly meant irritating yet endearing.
May left the house with her sun hat and gardening gloves, promising to bring in whatever ripe fruits and veggies might be left now that Fall was settling in. Once she was gone, everyone migrated to the living room, taking up almost all of the seats available. Luke and Danny took the couch. Sam threw himself onto the loveseat. Ava stayed back so she could push Peter towards the armchair. He protested at first, but caved after she glared at him. Once he was seated, she settled onto the nearby ottoman.
The guys turned to Peter expectantly.
"What's bothering you, Pete?" Luke asked concernedly.
"We are here to listen," Danny assured him.
"And ask questions. Many, many questions," Sam added, earning himself a pillow to the face.
Peter shifted in his seat. "This feels sort of silly now, gathering you all here like there's some sort of huge announcement."
Ava rolled her eyes. "We know you don't like to make a big deal about yourself, but don't sell yourself short."
"Yeah, but I'm pretty much just reminding you all that I'm part spider. I'm not entirely human." He put his elbow on the armrest and went to rest his head on his hand, but let out a small hiss when he put the pressure on his wrist.
"Don't make us put stints on your wrists, man" Luke said warningly.
"I'm trying to remember!" Peter put his hands back on his lap, staring down at them. He didn't say anything else.
"Speak one part at a time," Danny suggested. "You have already identified the starting point. You feel you are not purely human. We understand this is true, but Ava told us there are things we are unaware of. Please enlighten us."
Peter looked back up, swallowing. "Okay—um—I guess what's worrying me is that I feel . . . There are things that feel, and things that I do or want to do, that aren't normal. And sure, I get it, I'm not normal. But it's—I'm—I need to act normal sometimes because of the whole secret identity thing. But sometimes I wonder if I'm losing sight of what's normal and what's not. And—and . . ." he trailed off, eyes unfocused while he was probably lost in thought.
Ava took a breath. He had gotten that out easier than she had expected. Certainly not as blubbery as the first time he had told her. But the hard part was just beginning.
"What sort of not normal stuff are we talking about here?" Sam asked curiously and not quite as unkindly as expected.
Peter's eyes flicked over to him, catching the light and flashing green. "Well, one thing I told Ava about was my webs. There are a few things about webs, actually." He moved his arm up to rub his neck, but Ava pushed it back down gently. He shot her a grateful grin. "Sorry. Um—as I was saying, I'm like a natural at web building. I just know how to do it."
"Aw come on, anyone can make webs."
Peter raised an eyebrow at Sam. "Oh really? I'd like to see you try."
"I will! Web shooters in the backpack?"
"Same as always." Peter gave him a minute to retrieve the items before continuing. "Anyway, I'm good at making webs, and . . . I think they're comfy. They feel safe to me. Because of the vibrations. It's like an extended version of my spider sense." He paused, watching their reactions.
"So that's why we often find you conked out on a web hammock on the Helicarrier?" Luke asked.
"Maybe, yeah."
Danny hummed thoughtfully. "These traits may be spidery in origin, yet they seem analogous to human traits. The desire for art and security. These are not to be ashamed of."
"Well, sure, but . . . that's only the tip of the iceberg. There's weirder stuff, like—" he broke into an embarrassed smile. "Sometimes, especially when I'm really hungry, I almost try to—uh—eat my webs."
"Why?" Sam asked. There was a mess of silk stretched between his hands. "Do they taste good?"
"No, they taste awful, and I'm pretty sure they're not even truly safe to eat. It's just . . . instinct. It's hard for spiders to reproduce silk, so they like to recycle when they can. And I know my silk is synthetic, but . . . it looks real?" He shrugged, beginning to blush. "I only tried it once. It was a long time ago and I was still getting used to my new fast metabolism. I catch myself now."
Ava absorbed the new information. Again, she didn't think it was anything to be worried about. It was slightly funny to imagine him slurping up silk like noodles, but she kept her smile at bay. The guys seemed to be doing the same, although only Danny managed to keep his completely platonic expression.
"So even your body wants to do the right thing and recycle?" Luke said good naturedly.
"That's . . . I like that. Let's go with that. Subconscious recycling."
Sam snorted. His lap was full of webbing now. "Of course you like that. Hey, how do you detach the strands?"
"Press down extra hard on the pressure pad." Peter glanced at him. "That doesn't look like a web at all."
"I'm working on it. It'll all come together in the end."
Peter chuckled slightly. As he turned his attention back to the others, he sobered. "So . . . what do you think so far?"
"As you said, you are part spider. We may not have known, but we could suspect. There is no reason to be ashamed of small quirks that have always been."
"But they haven't always been, Danny. I wasn't always like this. I know you guys have only known me since I've had my powers, but I was a lot different before. No strength, no flexibility, no grace whatsoever, no—no fangs . . ." Peter's gaze focused down at his hands again.
"My apologies. I did not mean to be insensitive."
"I get it. It's fine. It's just . . . It's only been about two weeks since I've had fangs and it doesn't feel weird anymore. It feels normal. A lot of the things that I used to think were weird are feeling more normal now."
Ava cocked her head. This was a little different than what he'd initially told her. At the time she had assumed he wanted to take a sort of inventory of all of his quirks so he could hide them better. But now it seemed like that might not be the case.
Unless she had misunderstood him. She tried to recall his exact wording.
"Don't take this the wrong way, I'm just wondering," Luke began. "But do you mean it feels normal because you've had these powers for so long, or . . . because of what happened to you in the Savage Lands?"
Peter's eyes remained downcast. "I don't know," he admitted. "Part of me wants to blame all of these problems on that one incident. And true, most of this isn't new. But . . ."
"Aside from the physical changes," Ava said softly. "What is new?"
"Um . . ." Peter's jaw tightened and he swallowed again. "Not much in the way of instincts and stuff to be honest. Except . . . I've been thinking about them more. Acknowledging them more." He finally looked up at them again, but his eyes were wider, more fearful. "That's what's worrying me. What if—what if the poison didn't really change me? What if it just unleashed everything I've been holding in?"
Danny frowned perplexedly. "I am sure I am not alone when I say that I am dubious about that statement. We are your friends. We would have noticed if you ever acted crude. Particularly me. Reader of Chi energy, remember?" His hand glowed and he wiggled his fingers.
"Well, okay, sometimes I forget about your aura reading powers or whatever, mostly because I still can't quite understand them no matter how many times you explain it to me." The corners of Peter's mouth quirked up briefly.
"Would it appease your worries if I read you right now?"
"I'd appreciate that, yeah."
Danny slid out of his seat to kneel in front of Peter, taking hold of his hands. The glow returned. Both boys closed their eyes.
Ava watched, doing her best to hide her pout. Peter was throwing a lot of new information into the mix. Sure, it was taking a lot less time now that he wasn't trying so hard to beat around the bush, and she liked to think explaining things to her had been good practice. But still. Shouldn't he have been even more reluctant to share all this in front of more people?
Or was she that hard to talk to?
She mentally slapped that thought away. It was silly. Peter was finally getting everything off of his chest, and it was all thanks to her. This should be proof that she really had made the right decision yesterday.
A few moments later, Danny let go and returned to his seat. "You could definitely use some mediation about now. But aside from that your subconscious is clear of any ill intent or rancorous desires. Your soul and mind are not as simple as an animal's. You seem as you were when we first met."
Peter relaxed a little, but not as much as Ava expected. "Okay, that's cool. Thank you. Are you—are you sure about the 'rancorous desires' part? Like, you're not just making that up to make me feel better?"
"I would never lie about such things."
"Don't tell me you're still hung up on yesterday," Ava said. "We established that you were stuck between a rock and a hard place. You did the best you could with what you had available. 'Normal' people are prone to kick and bite in situations like that, so don't beat yourself up about it."
He seemed to wince. "This time I had an excuse. But . . . what about the first time? Remember when I told you about—about—"
"The man who killed your uncle?" Luke supplied gently. "Yeah, you said you beat him to a pulp, and we never blamed you and we never will. You had every right to be angry at him, Pete. Anyone would have been tempted to hurt him. What matters is that you stopped yourself before it went too far, just like you warned us yesterday. Doing these things when you're angry or scared isn't what makes you a bad person. It's how you handle the aftermath that counts, and you made sure both that man and Kraven were safe but behind bars."
"No one's perfect," Sam agreed. He still seemed to be focused on the mess of silk between his hands, but his tone was as serious as Ava had ever heard. "Rocket once told me that everyone does the wrong thing sometimes. The difference between good guys and bad guys is that good guys beat up the bad guys and beat themselves up over every little thing they do wrong."
Wow, Ava was really feeling outdone now. It almost felt unfair. She was the first one Peter had trusted. That ought to count for something.
But it was also unfair to give up now. She lifted her lips in a small smile. "That does sound a lot like Pete."
"I don't beat myself up all the time," he denied weakly.
"Your Chi says otherwise," Danny said.
Peter sighed, beginning to smile. "Thanks, guys. That means a lot to me. Ava could tell you how much I've been hung up on this. I think I was a lot more dramatic with her to be honest. Sorry about that, Ava. I'm actually sort of surprised you didn't slap me or anything, so thanks for that."
Ava shrugged, acting indignant even as warmth spread in her chest. "I don't always just punch whoever's bothering me. I can care about people sometimes." She pushed some hair behind her ear. "So you're cool with relaxing about your spider side around us now?"
His eyes widened again. "Um—That's not—I probably shouldn't—"
"Shouldn't?" Luke parroted back, frowning. "You admitted you've got a new normal. You shouldn't have to keep hiding all of this like you've been doing."
"I don't want spidery stuff to be my new normal!"
"It's a bit late for that, Webs," Sam snorted, earning himself another pillow to the face which tore his current 'web'. He stood up and went over to a free corner of the room, muttering something about needing more room to work.
It looked like Peter just barely refrained from crossing his arms, settling on just a pout instead.
"I think Luke has a point," Ava agreed, ignoring Sam. "I know I don't often show off around you guys, but it usually makes me feel better when I relax about it. And you said it helped you too."
"Don't show off?" Sam scoffed. "You always hunt me down whenever I borrow anything from you."
Ava growled loudly at him on purpose. "It's called 'borrowing' only when you ask in advance." None of the boys flinched; they only looked mildly amused. Ava spread her hands out as if presenting the scene. "See Pete? It's fine to act like yourself. Sam knows I would never actually gore him, however tempted I may be at times."
Somehow, Peter didn't look convinced. "I said talking about it helped. I don't know about—The point was to explain, Ava. That's all."
She blinked. Did she just mess this up? She just messed this up. He had told her that he was afraid of acting too spidery. Of course he didn't want to do more than talk about it! Ava couldn't believe she had succumbed to her second misunderstanding today. Things had been going so well! But she probably should have known that her lack of social tact would catch up to her eventually.
"Peter, are you sure you do not want to heed Ava's advice?" Danny asked. "It sounds as if keeping these things secret has caused you some stress."
"Maybe a little, but . . . I'm trying to avoid acting like a spider."
"Why?" Sam asked from the corner where he seemed to be trying to make a larger web. It just looked like a bigger mess. "I'd be crawling on the walls all the time if I had your powers. Doesn't it make sense to just go with the flow?"
"Not when going with the flow takes me away from being who I am!"
They stared at him for a moment. It took Peter a second to realize he had spoken louder than he had meant to. He returned to looking down at his hands.
"I'm sorry," Ava said shamefully. "I know how you feel about this. I shouldn't have suggested anything like that."
"Wait, wait, wait, back up," Luke said. "You said you were worried that the poison changed you, but . . . you've been Spider-Man for a while now. Sam didn't really say it in the best way, but he made a good point for once when he said it's—it's a bit late to be having doubts. Whatever, whoever you are now, that's you, Pete. At least, that's the kind-hearted nerd we know. You're a Shield agent in training, leader of a superhero team, and you're a good person. And you're part spider. It's just another piece of who you are. A pretty helpful and important piece if you ask me. You don't have to treat it like a problem. You don't need to turn your back on that part of yourself just because you're a little worried."
"Bear in mind," Danny added, "that you have never allowed your doubts to dominate you on the battlefield. You have fought all sorts of darkness from within, and come out on top every time. You are strong willed, Peter. Indulging some of your unique needs will never take that away, though it may help you come closer to inner peace."
Ava debated whether she should interrupt, make them stop trying to coerce Peter into something he didn't want to do. But they made their case well. She let them talk, well aware of how comforting and inspirational every word was.
"You . . . you really think I should?" Peter asked tentatively. He looked at them all, though his gaze lingered longest on Ava. Was he still looking for her approval despite everything? Biting the inside of her cheek, she nodded with the rest. Peter sighed. "Fine, maybe I'll try it out. But you all need to promise me that you'll call me out the moment I start acting too weird."
"Define weird," Sam requested. Peter rolled his eyes.
"I don't know. Like, creepy weird. Or scary weird . . ." He swallowed. "I don't want to end up like a spider monster again," he admitted quietly.
"You won't," Ava said firmly, surprising herself. She had thought she was done trying to help for the day. "Because you are so incredibly human that it puts most other people to shame. That won't just go away because you let yourself indulge your spider side a bit."
Hesitantly, Peter nodded. "Okay, okay, gosh." He grinned goofily. "Is that the third time you've complimented me since we met?"
She pushed him lightly. "If you keep acting like a dork, it'll be the last time."
"Oh well, it was nice while it lasted," Peter laughed. "But seriously, thanks."
Luke waved it off. "No problem. You know you don't need to pretend anything around us or your aunt."
Ava watched Peter stiffen slightly, and she wished she knew exactly why. "I think Pete meant just us," she said softly.
Confusion passed over Luke's face. "Why?"
"Just—not yet, okay?" Peter said. "You guys are a lot more experienced with super power stuff. And Aunt May's still coming to terms with me being Spider-Man. I . . . don't want to overwhelm her."
Still looking a little confused, the boys nodded.
Sam shot a another silk line with a flourish that just wasn't as graceful as when Peter did it. "Fine by me. Are we done with the heady stuff now?" he asked petulantly. "I'm still waiting to ask my questions."
Peter raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought you were joking about that."
"No, I've actually been wondering about some of these things for a really long time. Like, what's your favorite type of web?"
"Favorite web?" Peter hummed thoughtfully. "I guess I usually end up making the classic spiral web most of the time."
"Have you tried any others?"
"Um . . . I tried to make a funnel web once. That didn't work too well though. It came out too square, so it didn't look right at all." Peter quickly glanced at the others, as if trying to catch any doubt. But Luke smiled encouragingly and Danny remained impassive.
"Okay, have you ever caught and eaten a fly?"
"No."
"Would you do it if a fly got into the house and was buzzing around super annoyingly?"
"Maybe I'd catch it, but I don't know about eating it . . ."
"Why not?"
"I've never tried a live insect before. They look so wriggly. It seems too gross even for me."
"Huh." Sam paused in his web making. "That sort of makes sense. Spiders never eat live prey. They always use their venom to liquefy the—"
"Yes," Peter interrupted a little forcibly, a trace of a hiss just barely audible in his voice. "I know. But bugs are too small for me to bite them and I wouldn't want to do that anyway."
"Fair enough. Would you ever eat a spider?" Sam asked, and Ava refrained from face-palming. Of all the questions to ask . . .
"No," Peter replied immediately. This time Sam raised his eyebrow.
"Why?"
"Because—because—I don't know! I haven't hurt a single spider since I was bitten." Peter's cheeks were beginning to turn pink again. Ava did her best to look like she had no idea what he was probably thinking right now, although it was curious to hear that Phoebe might not be the first spider he's shown mercy for.
"Interesting," Danny said. "Most spiders are territorial. Do you mind if I ask about your reasoning?"
Peter shrugged. "You know me. I don't like to cause harm if I can help it. Although I guess I occasionally go out of my way to not squish them."
Sam stuck his tongue out. "See? You're not even a proper spider. A real spider wouldn't let strange spiders run willy nilly around his house."
Feeling like she had already pushed her luck enough, Ava decided to switch the topic before it officially went too far. "Who are you to judge? You can't even make a simple web."
"I just did! Look!" Sam stepped aside so they could all see the chaotic array of silk strands in the corner. They sort of formed a very crude seat, but not one Ava would trust.
"What is it supposed to be, a self-portrait?" Peter asked, chuckling.
"For your information, it's a chair. Watch." Sam plopped himself onto it, and the strands attached to the wall immediately gave out and snapped back. He flopped to the floor, wrapped in the web. The rest of the team burst out laughing. Sam glared at them all. "Okay, so maybe it is harder than it looks."
"I told you so." Peter stood as if to help him up.
"No heavy lifting today, Pete," Luke reminded him. "I'll get him out."
"Or we could leave him there," Ava suggested. She cackled at the look Sam gave her.
"I don't think Ms. P would appreciate if we left this mess here." Luke lifted Sam up effortlessly, taking him to the kitchen so they could properly dispose of the wasted silk. Danny went to help. Once they were gone, Peter turned to Ava. She prepared herself for the worst.
"You were right," was all he said.
"Right about what?"
He smiled. "That this would help. I didn't think I wanted to talk about any of this, but . . . I do feel a lot better now. Even—even this idea about relaxing around you guys. I mean, I'm not entirely convinced about it yet—"
"You don't have to go through with it," she assured him hurriedly. "I didn't realize it made you uncomfortable."
"Well . . ." He shrugged. "Maybe I shouldn't feel so uncomfortable about myself. So thank you."
Ava was quiet for a moment. Was he just saying that to be nice? He sounded pretty sincere. At last, she allowed herself a grin. She had just helped Mr. I-Would-Help-the-Whole-World-if-I-Could. Perhaps she wasn't so bad at this after all. Proudly, she said, "You're welcome."
Later that night, Peter entered his room again, briefly leaning against the closed door to take a breath. The team had left a little while ago and May had just stopped trying to dote on him. Everything had gone . . . maybe not smoothly exactly. The lack of healing was definitely a curve ball. But everything else had gone pretty well. Peter pegged this as the first really good day he had had in several months. This was about as perfect as it got.
He really hoped he wasn't going to wake up to a news report about a villain attack he had missed today. That's usually how his luck worked.
Hello Speter!
Snapping out of those thoughts, Peter brought Phoebe out again. She perched on his shoulder while he grabbed the crickets too. "Hey Phoebe, are you hungry?"
Yup!
Settling onto his bed, he handed her a cricket. He sighed. His bed felt so good in comparison to the Shield cot. Although he might prefer a web, it did quite nicely. "Do you want to do anything tonight? I could teach you something, or we could play with your toys, or . . ." He trailed off into a yawn.
Speter sleepy.
"Just a little." He yawned again. "Okay, yeah, you got me. I'm sleepy." It was sort of annoying to feel so sleepy so early. Well, it was early for him. But after waking up at five that morning he hadn't been able to rest at all. Or maybe he had. Peter wasn't sure if he had taken a quick spider nap during the movie the team had watched a few hours ago.
Being somewhat nocturnal was strange.
But the team knew now. They knew a little more about his spider side, and they were okay with it. Peter felt so relieved. It wasn't like he expected them to turn on him or anything. He had just really thought that they would be a little more weirded out by his spidery stuff. Although maybe they still would be if he was going to let himself act that way around them.
A part of him was afraid of their reactions once they saw it firsthand, but after what they had said today, it also left him feeling a little extra relieved. Ava was right that he wouldn't turn into a monster for no reason. His spider side wasn't necessarily to blame for the Savage Lands incident. Because if there was one thing Phoebe proved, it was that spiders weren't all bloodthirsty hunters. Phoebe was so caring and responsible, and she was just a baby. Looking at it like that, it seemed ridiculous to think that Peter would be anything less when he was still half human.
Truth be told, he had been afraid of his spider side. He just . . . didn't really understand a whole lot about it. Sure, he researched a few things, but scientists were still unraveling a lot about spiders. He was afraid that there were things going on in his head that no one would be able to understand. But now he free to take the chance to understand that side of himself. To understand Phoebe.
Maybe he was too much of a nerd, but the idea of knowing more made him feel so much better.
More please?
Peter realized Phoebe had left his shoulder so she could throw the empty exoskeleton into the wastebasket. "Oh, sorry. How many more do you want?"
She thought for a second. Square root of four, she decided. Peter smirked.
"Look at you, breaking out your math skills. I'm going to need some time to figure that out. Is it . . . fifteen?"
Phoebe giggled. No!
"Twenty-one?"
No!
"Three million?"
No! If Phoebe's voice actually came from her throat, it would have been shaking from her laughter. Two!
"Of course, two! Right you are! Here you go." He leaned over until he was half off the bed, hand held out to her. "Anything else I can get you?"
She grabbed the crickets from his hand. No thanks.
"All right. You can run around for a bit if you like. I might—" yawn "—I might just lie here for a minute before I put you to bed."
Okay!
Peter settled back onto his bed. The light was beginning to bother his eyes, but he was far too tired to actually go across the room to turn it off. So he did the next best thing and pulled his blanket over his head. He curled up underneath. In the process, he realized that his wrists didn't hurt as much. Maybe destressing had helped out after all. Healed wrists would be a wonderful thing to wake up to. Pleased with that development, he allowed his eyes to close for just a moment.
Phoebe climbed back to the bed several minutes later. She fumbled with the sheets until she found Peter. Speter happy? She asked. He didn't reply verbally, but she took his content dreams and soft purring as a 'yes'. Beginning to purr herself, she nestled next to him, allowing the gentle rumbling of his chest to lull her to sleep.
Fun Facts:
- Male spiders (particularly certain species of tarantulas) purr to attract mates. Our two nerdy spiders just do it when happy though (I didn't want to limit it to just Peter). The sound is usually made by rubbing their hairy legs/pedipalps together, but Peter has a voice box so he does it internally. Is there another 'for now' for this one? Maybe . . .
- Spiders are cold blooded. Remember this one ;)
- Most spiders are highly territorial and don't share space well.
- I agree with Peter about dipping chicken nuggets in vanilla ice cream XD. I have never actually tried a cricket though.
