*yawns* ... I should've slept in longer. For the uninitiated, I either sleep too much or not enough, I never sleep like a normal person.
RAX : That's because I am bad at fluff. I mean, I try and practice is the only way I'll get better. The day I'm convinced I'll make a good fluff scene, is the same day hell freezes... What's that? The 7th circle of hell really is frozen? Seriously? Huh... I might not be hopeless after all.
Ultimate Kuuga : Want me to rent you some movies so you can increase you courage stat? Also, shipping 'em already? I wonder why... No seriously, I wonder why.
Raymond Lightbringer : Don't think the voice would let that happen... Why? What is this mysterious voice? Guess... Seriously, guess. I'm not giving you guys the answer for awhile. Guess away!
Guest : Pharos... Is the best bro? Yeah, I agree. By the way, that's not how you vote... not sure if you knew that or not.
MinaxMina : Oh, there's more to those voices than you might think. On another note, glad to see my fluff skills have improved. Pharos only wants Makoto's happiness, so if Kotone makes him happy, then he ships them.
clevernameeh : I'm funny? How? The courage joke? The censorship? Also, yeah... There's a lot to that voice. Something pretty important, actually... or is there? Maybe I'm just fucking with the lot of you. I've been known to lie on the AN/s just to screw with people.
Nightlyy : I don't think any psychiatrist will be helping Makoto/Minato anytime... ever. Also, 7 is still awesome.
Okay, okay, this is just painful...
What the- Makoto? This isn't your story! Go away!
Oh, right. For the uneducated, I'm Minato's kinda sorta shadow (it's really confusing) from his 1st story. I'm here to tell Grim this, this is fucking painful.
The story?
No, your reliance on a poll, you moron. Dumbass, they don't know what it's like. A lot of them probably think Kotone will just say some cutesy shit over and over, those who vote for Makoto and Pharos... Yeah, they probably have a good idea.
... Go away, jackass (he's supposed to be a prick, btw)
Sayōnara... asshole
?
"Minato.."
Make it stop...
"Minato..!"
Make it stop... make it stop...
"Minato!"
I'm so... so sorry. Please make it stop...
"MINATO!"
I'm sorry, please make it stop. I'm sorry, please make it stop. I'm sorry, please make it stop. Makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop
...
...
Makoto nearly jumped out of bed as his eyes shot open and glowing as a response to his distress. The boy was left panting, drenched in sweat from his nightmare.
Makoto rubbed the back of his neck while looking down "Again with this shit?" He cursed. He should've been over the nightmares by now, but they just kept sneaking up on him.
Why wouldn't they just go away? A decade has past, there's no more tears left to be shed.
"Are you alright?" Makoto looked up and saw his old friend standing on the edge of his bed.
"It's nothing." Makoto dismissed as he leaned his back against the cold wall. He felt like he just walked through a hallway of microwaves and that his head had just been hit with a sledgehammer over and over again.
"Killer headache, though." He admitted as he massaged his temples and looked at the clock. It was 5:37 in the morning, which mean he had a few hours before school.
"You've been having a lot of nightmares lately." Pharos noted. While he has them every now and again, he never had this many nightmares within such a short time frame.
"It's nothing..." Makoto said as he climbed out of bed and changed out of his sweat-soaked nightclothes and into something more comfortable.
"Do you... regret coming back?" Pharos asked with a weak voice. He may have wanted him to come back here, but he didn't want Makoto to suffer because of it.
"I'm fine." Makoto insisted as he put on his undershirt and look towards the boy "They're just nightmares, that's it."
Pharos looked down "I hope you're right." he muttered, though Makoto could still hear him clearly.
"I am." He said confidently as he looked him straight in the eye "And here... Here's where out search will come to it's end.." he said as he put on his school uniform
All they'll all pay for what they did... Makoto thought to himself as he pulled a up a chair next to a window. He didn't want to slash his arm again, but he thought it'd be better to prepare for later tonight.
Not tonight... The voice whispered in his head Don't do it again...
Makoto shook his head Shut it. he thought as he cooked some ramen for breakfast. He didn't know where this voice was coming from or what it was, but he didn't care.
He sat in his chair and looked out the window and simply waited as he ate his ramen as he waited.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
More and more waiting. How much of his life had been spent simply looking out the window and waiting? How much of his life had been dedicated towards his single purpose? How long could he go on like this?
What would he even do when he'd achieved his goal? Academically, he was a model student, but did it really matter?
Funny, they claim that you'll be able to choose eventually, but do nothing to help you discover your calling. All they care about is fulfilling their quota and then pushing kids out, thinking they already know about the cruelties the real world had... But they knew nothing.
And the world cared little for any of them, not a single one of them and it never would.
You could die, and the world would simply continue.
You could being looking forward to parenthood only to have the child be stillborn, and the world would continue.
You could be a homicidal maniac who though killing people would save them, and the world would continue.
You could watch your entire family die... and the world would continue.
Innocence... The thing that blinds you to the world's cruelties. It's the thing that all are born with, though how long that last is really up to them in the end.
From that innocence, hope is born. Kids are often optimistic and have hope that things will get better because of their naivety and lack of knowledge of the world's true cruelty. As they learn, they lose that innocence and hope... but it never truly left them.
Then, there were people like Makoto.
From all that pain, from all the suffering, from seeing the world for what it truly is, hope is reborn as despair.
Still, there was a form of comfort even something such as despair could bring. It was almost like a contest to see who's life was the most fucked up and to see who truly warranted the despair they claim to have.
From discovering that someone's life is worse than yours, perhaps you could revitalize 'hope' and leave your life of despair behind or perhaps it'd be a source of comfort to know that you're not the only one who sees this twisted world for what it truly was.
Then, there were people like Makoto.
There was no helping them... they were beyond the point of revitalization and returning to who they once were. Truly, there was no one who would even come close to what he suffered that day 10 years ago.
Some may say they know... but they don't. They never will, because they only know what he wants them to know.
Ah, yes... another fun game. How much truth is being withheld? How much of it is actually the truth to begin with? Humans are a species of liars and cheaters; Some just want attention, others want to be pampered, others are crying for help but don't want everyone to know the details out of shame.
Makoto reached for a certain spot under his chair that was just large enough to hide his old knife. He didn't even remember where he got it from, but such minor details are far beyond relevance.
Holding by the blade, he wrapped his entire hand around it and squeezed tightly to the point that small amounts of blood dripped as penance for another nightmare. They weren't his nightmares, they were the nightmares of a dead man.
From that dead man, despair was born. Nothing, but pure despair and knowledge of just how cruel and unfair this world truly was. His goal was not to try and achieve equilibrium, but to simply find another form of comfort that would hopefully be permanent... or at the very least, the nightmares might finally end.
There was no hope that could save anyone... There was no hope for the boy who once prayed day and night that what happened was all a nightmare until he cried himself to sleep.
All that was left was nothing but pure despair.
Dorm
"Nrgh..." Kotone groaned as she lazily opened one of her left eye. She glanced at the clock that read 6:02 in the morning.
Guess there's no point going back to sleep... She thought as she climbed out of bed since school was in an hour or so. The girl rubbed her eyes before grabbing some clothes, she still had enough time for a shower.
Kotone sighed in relief when she felt the hot water hit her skin. Not only were hot showers one of the most comforting things on the planet for her, but it also served as a nice time for her to think to herself.
In the past month, so many things had happened. She'd joined SEES to combat shadows, became a guest of the 'Velvet Room', ventured into a giant tower, nearly died on train, and summons personas to combat shadows by shooting herself in the head.
Speaking of which, on the orders of a long-nosed man named Igor, she could only strengthen her personas by forming 'social links' or bonds with others.
Honestly, the idea of social links didn't bother her all that much. To her, it was a way to help people with their problems by being a friend. She just so happened to get stronger because of it, power that she could use to defeat shadows and help/save even more people.
Of course, some of her links were easier than others. There were people like Junpei who were easy enough since he was by nature a friendly guy.
Then, there were people like Makoto...
Honestly, she didn't know if she'd ever seen someone this devoid of hope or... anything. Most of the time, he just looked like he was dead inside and alive only because his heart was still beating.
If there was anyone who needed help from someone, it'd probably be him. But, no one ever even tried. Granted, even she felt the cold aura he gave off and even she felt like there was something very twisted and wrong around them whenever she was with him, but that wasn't enough to stop her.
She hadn't had the worst life in the world, not by a long shot. But, she knew that just having someone else in your life could make all the difference. She was lucky enough to still have a father to confide in, but not everyone was that lucky.
She'd seen many people in her life ; Those that were full of joy and bubbly, those that were serious, those that were happy... and then there were the hopeless ones that fell into despair.
Despair... even the word itself was depressing. A life full of pain, misery, and devoid of joy, or any semblance of hope. Living in such a state would be unfathomable for her if she hadn't seen others like this.
And when people fall into that dark pit, they often question things like their reason for living/existing in the first place. And more often than not, they didn't question it for long...
And that was why she almost felt like it was an unspoken duty for her to do what she could to help him. If just having a single person in his life could bring even a sliver of hope back into the poor bluenette, then it was worth the effort.
Even her teammates thought she was wasting her time. They called him dangerous, rude, cold, among other things. Still, she wasn't just going to just sit back and do nothing as her classmate continued to go through hell.
There wasn't anything to find down the dark road he was going. She had found that the hopeless often seek comfort, but often find false-comfort just so they don't fall apart. There was nothing that could be achieved with a philosophy such as his, it'd only bring more and more pain until he eventually hit his limit.
But even in someone like him, he wasn't as empty as he claimed to be. If he was, he'd had pushed her away when he was offered a chance to leave.
He was something, but he wasn't hopeless.
School
Mitsuru sighed as she looked out the window in the student council room. It was almost hard to believe that a place like this became Tartarus at night, but there was no changing that.
Even though it had been a few days since, she was still exhausted from providing support during the last operation, but that was the least of her worries.
That hooded boy had shown up again, and again he seemed focused on killing the shadow without saying a single word. Who was he? What were his motives? And why was he so powerful? She'd been a persona user for years and she didn't even compare to him.
Then, there was another issue...
"Hello, senpai..."
Mitsuru nearly shook in surprise as she looked behind her and saw the last person she wanted to see with a condescending smirk on his face.
"Yuki..." Mitsuru returned the greeting as she regained her composure "What is it that you want?"
"Why, senpai, I'm merely a concerned junior." He answered coyly as he used on of the desk as a chair "I mean, you look exhausted. How're you going to prepare for exams?"
"It's nothing." Mitsuru dismissed as she kept her eyes on the boy "I ask again, what do you want?"
"A different question would be nice." Makoto answered sarcastically "Actually, everyone in your dorm in particular looks tired..." he pointed out which made Mitsuru looked worried for just a split second "Any reason for that?"
"It's none of your business." She dismissed the question again as she glared at him with cold eyes. If last time taught her anything, it was that any answer was very dangerous. Trying to change the subject was the best she could do.
"My, aren't you contemptuous?" Makoto asked as he giggled like a child causing mischief "If I didn't know any better... I'd say you're hiding something."
Even though she did her best not to show it, her blood ran cold when he said that. Not only might he be onto SEES, but he also seemed to just be toying with them. She'd known from the beginning that their activities might attract the eyes of others, but she never expected that someone like this would come along.
Makoto chuckled "But that applies to everyone, right?" he said as he got off the desk "Good luck during the exams.." he said before walking to the door.
The boy stopped suddenly and looked back with a smirk "Oh, and good choice in underwear. Black suits you."
Mitsuru's face instantly went as red as her crimson hair as Makoto walked out saying "Bye-bye."
...
...
"Please help me study!" Kotone begged as she blocked Makoto's way out of the classroom when the day was over.
"Um... why would I do that?" Makoto asked as he raised an eyebrow "Don't you share a dorm with the Mitsuru? Just ask her."
"She's always to busy to help..." Kotone explained as she sighed as the disheartening memories returned before she brighten back up "But, you're smart, right? I mean, you always get the questions the teachers ask right."
"Again, why would I do that?" Makoto asked, not seeing much of a reason to do so
Just do it.. The voice in his head whispered
Kotone stood there for a moment as she blinked, realizing that he actually had a point. She shrugged with a desperate look on her face "... Because I'm pretty?" she answered, not having any actual good reason.
No.. Makoto thought, there wasn't much reason to waste him time on this.
"Fine..." The boy found himself obeying the voice in his head again. Whatever it was, it had more control over him then he'd like to admit.
"Yay!" She cheered before grabbing him the hand and dragging him "My dormmates aren't the biggest fan of you, so we'll have to do it at your place, 'kay?"
Makoto closed his eyes and sighed, questioning why he even agreed to this. This was going to be a very long week...
Because I love you, I won't make all of you sit through the dreaded time known as exams.
Kiss up.
GO AWAY!
Or what? Bitch, I'm already dead.
Goddammit! Let's see how the poll is... A tie?! A fucking tie again? Ah, fuck it! You know what? It's between Kotone and Pharos, so I'm just going to decide by flipping a goddamn coin.
Heads for my big bro, and tails for... her.
*flips* Heads...
And then *flips* Heads again... Big bro wins.
Yes, I know this basically makes the poll worthless, but I'm sick of ties. The poll was supposed to end this chapter, so I did what I had to. Sorry to those who wanted Kotone in the AN/s
We really did flip a coin by the way. That wasn't sarcasm.
Anyhow, this chapter was mostly spent showing Makoto's and Kotone's different philosophies towards life. I guess you could say Kotone is hope, while Makoto is despair.
And damn, does he have balls of steel. He toyed with Mitsuru with a smirk the whole time... He's a goddamn champ.
Any last words Albino (his eyes and hair are snow-white).
... I am hilarious, and you will quote everything I say.
