Koblenz : It's always nice to see a new perspective of events. Was Kotone's conclusion of jumping from affection to love a bit quick? Perhaps, but do remember that these are teenagers at the end of the day and we're not exactly the most... Experienced I guess you could say and emotions can make you stupid. Plus, do remember that she hasn't exactly seen how far gone Makoto truly is. Most she's seen is his callousness and his near breakdown, the latter of which could've easily (and rightfully) be blamed on Lovers.

Feel free to leave suggestions any time, though. I like listening to other people.

But, seriously, do keep reviewing. I like hearing things from various points of views.

IAmSoCleverWithMyNameLol: I keep stabbing him, but it just won't stop!

Grrrr...*grabs knife* That's enough dammit! Hurt me every AN? Oh, fuck you! Besides, Grim isn't smart enough to think of something new every chapter!

... *breaks AT!Makoto's legs*

Nightlyy : Own worst enemy? Let's see... He cut himself, just rejected the person he knows he has feelings for, dedicated his life to both killing a select group of people in the name of revenge and to an entity that embodies Death itself, and is literally fighting his other self.

He has a point. Technically, it's always a battle with himself.

MinaxMina : *cough*... Oh, I'm sorry. My throat's just dry after digging a canal for you to cry me a river, mwahahaha! But, seriously, glad you enjoyed it... Even if I just shattered your shipping heart.

I... I... WWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?!

*plays sad music*

Oh, go to hell!

RAX: Takemi... Don't know why though. Glitch? Fuck up with dialogue? Eh, whatever, I was going for a pimp route that game anyway, so less people beating my Akira to a pulp.

... But he's my husbando!

clevernameeh: Yeah, why didn't Minato take over?!

It's not some crutch you can rely on. Do remember that Makoto is the dominant personality of the two. Also... er... Kotone *whispers*

Huh?... Huh... Oh... Oh boy... Well... That's going to be fun...

Indeed.


Dorm

The leader of SEES continued to remain in her room, her heart still feeling like it'd been shattered to pieces the previous night.

As cliched as it was, her room was only appropriate wasn't it? What better and more private place was there to collect and sort through your thoughts then in the comfort of your own room?

That's not to say she became a complete recluse as a result of what happened; She still went out to eat and do other necessities, but did so with an unusually gloomy atmosphere that everyone else in the dorm took notice almost instantly.

Left with nothing to go off of since the girl kept whatever happened to herself, the dorm members were forced to leave her be and essentially play a guessing game to figure out what had happened to their leader.

So stupid... She silently cursed herself, condemning her naive actions that were the reason she was suffering right now.

Everything... Everything that she was experiencing right now was so stupid. Everything that she had done the night before was even stupider. Everything was just so absurd beyond what any words could comprehend.

Why? Why did it hurt so much to simply be rejected like that? He didn't try to hurt her, he didn't insult her, he even apologized before he left. And yet, it hurt... Seeing him run away hurt so much...

Why did she even want to say that to him anyway? In that regard, she was a schoolgirl with a crush at best, so why did she try saying she actually loved him? Of course he didn't want to hear that, especially when the people who are suppose to love you through your entire life was taken away from him at such an early age.

Did she honestly think that he'd make an exception for her? Her, of all people? The one who had repeatedly forced her way into his life despite his repeated objections.

And why would she do that? Especially after she learned about his... condition.

Maybe that single time at Yakushima really was a circumstantial thing like she had thought before? Maybe only his other more submissive self was the one with feelings-

No... The look in his eyes when he left. The look of one who was willing butchering his own heart, forcing himself to go through agonizing pain that he easily cursed himself for moments later... All of that proved there was genuine affection with him, too.

But did that really matter anymore? He clearly didn't have any intention of pursuing anything with her, and who could blame him, honestly?

Funny... She thought being his friend might help him open up, but then she not only discovered about his other side and then to complicate things further, she just had to fall for him too...

Hell, which side has she even fallen for? Makoto? Minato? Both? Where did the line separating the two begin and end?

God, what the hell was wrong with her? She's known him for four months and she actually confessed her love for him.

Honestly, a blunt and cold rejection would've been so much more preferred over what actually happened. At least then, she never would've known she was hurting him too...

You stitch a cut.

You put a broken limb in a cast.

You give a sick person medicine.

You get glasses for bad vision.

When you're sad, you go to your happy place.

When you're angry, you take it out on something, preferably something productive.

When you're scared, you muster up everything you have to conquer your fears.

What the hell are you supposed to do when your own heart aches? Just wait? It's a mixture of some many emotions at once...

God, I'm such a drama queen... She chastised herself as she put her head down and sighed.

Why was she acting like she lost her one true love or something? She was rejected, that's just how life was...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

So why would the feeling just go away?

He had every right to say no.

He had every reason to say no.

She knew from the start that pursuing this could cause her emotions to cloud her judgement, something that was only exemplified last night!

Despite knowing all of his issues, she still thought it was a good idea to share her feelings and she even was about to go as far and say that she actually loved him...

It was wrong! Everything... Everything she did and forced him to experience was wrong... How she was currently acting was wrong...

So why?

Why did it still hurt so much?

Why is it no matter what she told herself, deep down she still wanted to keep trying?

Why is it that despite knowing that she had basically rushed everything, every part of her told her that everything she felt was true?

Why is it that despite knowing that she was hurting him now, she still wanted him by her side?

Why?


Paulownia Mall

You're pathetic! Minato screamed at Makoto which had been continuing ever since he left Kotone all by herself.

I know... Makoto didn't even fight it. Every part of him wanted to say 'yes', but he knew that doing so would cause far more harm than good. It was better this way... Or was that just what he kept telling himself?

It's not like they could just pretend it didn't happen. Whether they liked it or not, things weren't going to be the same as they once were.

But at the same time, he couldn't just cut her out of the life she forced herself into.

It was pretty ironic. He tried to keep her out of his life, now he doesn't want her to go...

No, it was better to suffer the pain now than later! She was a member of SEES, it was better to cut ties while he still could... before it became something he'd never be able to take back.

But the look of pure heartbreak on her face, though...

Dammit, why did he even care in the first place?! He's hurt countless people before! He can still remember the feeling of cracking bones when he tortured that one boy to death a few weeks ago, this should've been nothing!

Rejections? He's done plenty of them without a moment of hesitation. It didn't matter how much courage it must've took for them to muster up to say it, the result was always the same.

It honestly became a little game at some point. For amusement he'd sometimes lead them on only to completely shatter their heart despite any consequences.

Broken hearts, pools of tears, constantly screaming... It meant nothing to him. He didn't even care when he lead on and crushed a girl's heart despite knowing how unstable she was becoming mentally.

The day she finally had enough and with him being the straw that broke the camel's back, he barely gave her a glance when he saw her body which had jumped from the school roof.

Yet now... Now it hurt... It hurt like hell. It was just as bad as when she did something simple like holding his hand. He enjoyed it, but deep down... Deep down there was agony. The worst type of agony imaginable... It was like he was experiencing the pain of reuniting with his family only to have them burn in front of him again...

No, now it's not as bad... It so, so, so much worse... Before he could just focus on her odd but upbeat attitude to distract him, but now... Now it was just hanging over him constantly...

Running away, are we? Guess you'll never change, will you? Minato continued to mock his dominant self.

Leave me alone. Makoto mentally told his other self with a sigh. Over and over he was berated by a dead man of all things... When will his suffering just end? He's already been suffering for ten years straight. When would whatever God there was have mercy?

He wasn't a good person, not by a long shot... But when would enough be enough? Was there some grand lesson to all this pain? Was he the victim of the whim of some god of fate? Was there even a god to blame for all this?

All these question, and he'll likely never have an answer.

Even with all these questions clouding his mind, he still took the time to sit next to a familiar girl with a dagger in her hair.

"Hey, Chidori..." Makoto greeted, almost as if he was greeting an old friend despite the two barely knowing each other "... How're you doing?"

Chidori who had been drawing didn't even stop to glance at him "... What do you want?" she asked, not possessing the same uncharacteristically friendly tone Makoto had

"Too many things I'll never have." Makoto let out an empty chuckle in response while leaning back into the bench "How's Strega doing? Heard your last time to kill SEES didn't go so well."

"Why do you care?" Chidori responded with another question, wary as to what the boy's motives might be

"Just curious..." He answered before sighing "What would you do if someone you cared about also cared about you the same way, but you knew that it'd end horribly?"

For one reason or another, that seemed to strike a nerve that caused Chidori to stop drawing instantly "Why?" she asked, her voice suspicious, but there was also a hint of something else in there too.

"I see..." He didn't even to question it further, he could tell from her voice alone "Heh, not like I can blame you for that then."

"Why did you even come back?" She asked as she began drawing again

"You really don't like me, eh?"Makoto asked wryly before leaning forward "I dunno, not like you make an effort to hide yourself." he said before realizing just how absurd all this was.

How desperate was he that he was actually talking to one of the people that want him dead? He would've gone to Pharos had the little guy had any actual experience in such matters, but still, this was a new type of low for him.

Left with nothing else, the boy went back home.


Home

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Dripping... Such a strange sound isn't it? The sound of liquid falling and hitting whatever it lands on... So strange. No real variation, just drip, drip, drip...

Makoto felt the sensation of his body starting to go cold as the blood continued to drip from his arm. It was a good thing that this was a controlled wound in a controlled environment, otherwise, he might've died from doing this a long time ago.

Moments like this, he honestly wondered if continued living was truly worth it. More and more he's forced to experiencing agonizing pain, what could a life like that be worth?

It wasn't like it mattered, really. For the most part, he was nigh-immortal to the point it was a more of a fault than anything.

For better or worse, Pharos refused to ever let the boy die. He kept the boy from whatever harm he could, but this ironically lead to him self harming instead...

The world truly enjoyed irony, didn't it?

Knock. Knock.

"You in there?" A familiar girl asked from the other side

"Shit!" Makoto whispered as his wound healed and he put his sleeve down.

"Coming!" He shouted as he grabbed the bowl that'd been used to catch his blood, nearly stumbling more than a few times as his body readjusted to losing and than having so much blood at once, and poured the blood-filled bowl's contents down the drain.

With the evidence disposed of, Makoto opened his door and was greeted by the annoying brunette archer and the short high priestess.

"What do you want?" He asked, how many times had Yukari confronted him now? At least Fuuka was here for some variation, though he wasn't in the mood for any games.

"You were with Kotone-chan last night, right?" Fuuka asked, her voice sounding as concerned and gentle as usual.

The moment he heard her name, Makoto's face went from stoic to extremely pained as he broke eye contact. Should've known she'd be hurting from that too, of course SEES would come to learn what happened to their friend and leader.

"..." He couldn't bear to say the words, but his face said it all. Dammit, what was going on? Normally he was nigh-unreadable, but now...

Yukari forced her way inside his apartment and pushed him to the side hard enough that there was a banging noise as he hit the wall next him. Yup, she was definitely pissed off.

"What the hell did you do to her?!" Yukari demanded an answer, forgoing any sort of politeness or niceties that Fuuka possessed.

Makoto rubbed his back as well as he could for a moment before facing the pink archer "Why're you so quick to assume whatever happened was my fault?"

"Don't hand me that! It's written all over your face!" Yukari continued to yell, disregarding what any of Makoto's neighbors might think. "Ever since she came home last night, she's looked like her heat had been shattered!"

"Yukari-chan!" Fuuka gasped, shocked by how aggressive her friend had become over this.

"What do you think happened, dumbass?" He asked, her anger not fazing him but imagining a girl who smile so often looking so heart broken... "I stopped her from making a terrible, terrible mistake. Saved her from doing something she'd regret doing in the long run."

There was a brief silence as the two girls quickly pieced together what that meant.

"You mean you..." Fuuka was hesitant to finish the sentence, thanks to Kotone it was no secret that Makoto had a volatile temper and she didn't want to risk setting it off.

Yukari, however, had no such concerns. If he had simply rejected her because he didn't share her feelings, she'd be able to understand... But that wasn't the case. All the pain in his eyes, his refusal to say exactly what happened... He was running away. And to her, there were few things worse than someone who runs away from their problems.

"You're a coward!" She screamed at him "A fucking coward!"

For whatever reason, it looked as if such a basic insult actually managed to hit a sore spot in the normally thick-skinned Makoto Yuki.

Makoto's already pained eyes looked as if he had just... Just died. No, they reflected what was truly in his heart... Nothing more than pure despair.

Makoto didn't even have the will to insult her or even roll his eyes at the comment. All he could say was "... More than you know." As to what he meant by that was something only he and Pharos knew.

"Ugh, you're unbelievable!" Yukari shouted as she slapped him across the face before leaving. Some might say she over reacted, but she didn't care. Kotone was her best friend and it was painful seeing her normally upbeat friend so heartbroken.

Makoto slowly rubbed the hand print that was quickly forming as a bruise on his face "I know."

Fuuka wasn't so cold hearted however "Do you need some ice?" she asked concerned, having heard from some boys in school how hard Yukari slaps.

"No need." He said as he put his hand down revealing the bruise to already be gone completely.

Fuuka really was an innocent person at heart, just like...

"She'll get better, right?" Makoto asked, sounding more like he was trying to convince herself "I mean, come on, people get rejected all the time."

"I don't think that's why she's hurting so much, Makoto-kun." Fuuka said, taking it upon herself to explain as best she could "Kotone-chan always tries so hard to make everyone happy. I don't want to make assumptions, but it seems like she's hurting you more than she's helping you."

Makoto didn't say anything, he simply lowered his head. Minato wasn't taking over, simply knowing that she was trying so hard and all he's given her in return is a broken heart.

"I know you haven't known each other very long, but... I think she really does love you." She said something that everyone had now known, but inadvertently made every single curse that Minato had said along with all the painful emotions he was feeling so much worse

Makoto shook his head slowly "I wish she didn't." he said before raising his head to meet one of the now three members of SEES he had any respect for "Get outta here, Fuuka. I wanna be alone."

Without raising any objections, Fuuka nodded before leaving and shutting the door behind. On the way out she had to apologize to some of the neighbors who had become either annoyed or concerned from Yukari's earlier screaming.

"Coward, huh?" Makoto said to himself in his empty home. Not even Pharos was talking, for the little boy had no idea what to say without making the situation worse.

"Fits me perfectly..." he continued as he grabbed another bowl and chair and began to bleed again "A coward who's less than a dog... I guess that is what I am." he continued to curse himself.

"Minato..!"


Wonder if I conveyed the feeling of self-loathing that Makoto is feeling right now. I mean, his emotional/mental state's been unstable from the very beginning.

Christ, is not being able to handle rejection a Wild/Broken Card thing?

One is mentally unstable and the other was not only rejected but quickly learned she just made that same already hurting and emotionally unstable person even worse. Don't think either would A-Okay after that.

... Why?

Now I'm helpless...

Well, you stopped him from being able to commit suicide through his ten years of suffering and despair, that's something.

Hmm, what to do from this point on... what to do..? Got two in-game weeks before the next Full moon, now what to do in the meantime that actually leads to something and isn't just filler.

Eh, I think of something. Right guys?

Make Minato feel better!

Give me back my eyes!

Give me my husbando!

... *sigh* This is going to be a long next few weeks. Speaking of : I'm taking state testing this week, so don't be shocked if I update a little slowed and do be shocked if I don't. That's all, have a good day/night.