How long does my OOC-ness in the AN/s last?
Typically all story long. I'm much more of a bitch here than in-character me is... can't believe i said that.
Heh, I can.
IAmSoCleverWithMyNameLol : GO TO HELL!
Go ahead, torture him.
What?! You sonuva-
Finish that... I dare you.
... I hate you all.
T. E. K. 1996: I gotta ask... Who the fuck is that? I'm a giant dense idiot, so...
He might be slapped again... But only grim knows for certain.
Indeed, your lives are in MY hands, mwehehe.
RAX: Funny, we just mentioned that... And that was BEFORE you reviewed too. Holy shit, am I precognitive?
Nightlyy: aw, shucks...
Who the fuck says that?
Sh! If he's in a good mood, i might get my husbando back!
Home
"Heh..." Makoto let out a light chuckle as he contributed to his odd habit and placed another plushie next to Jack O' Lantern and Jack Frost. This one was called Black Frost, supposedly an evil version of Jack Frost and another form for a persona funnily enough.
Personally, he always found this one to be a little creepy, but she always loved the little guy just like she loved little Pyro Jack himself.
"You always liked the strangest things, didn't you?" He asked, though he didn't expect an answer. To answer would be to have mercy and to have mercy would be to show a sign of benevolence in a malevolent world.
She was gone forever and he's cursed to never die. Forever would he be cursed to relive that day in his dreams all by himself.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
Such a depressing word, isn't it? Though, he wasn't completely alone as Pharos was always with him, but the boy seldom added any real comfort despite his efforts.
Then again, he did ask for this in a way. He pushed everyone out of his life, even the various families that adopted and at least tried to love him even if the ended up sending him back eventually.
If he was alone, he felt nothing. Feeling nothing was one of the main reasons he still preceded to cut himself as to remind him of what pain feels like.
Pain.
Such a painful word even in name. Though, was pain on its own all that bad? If you hurt when you lose something, it helps you realize how much you truly cared about it.
But the pain Makoto inflicted upon himself was nothing more than an empty pain. Cold metal slicing through warm flesh and the feeling of blood trickling down before dripping didn't help you learn or find value in anything; It was just pure pain. Pure pain that any human can feel as long as there alive; Proof that he himself hasn't become nothing.
Of course, there's the matter of the pain that was felt by his foundation and amplified by him and his isolation, and that was of the loss he suffered years ago.
But what lesson was there to be learned it that? He knew his loved his family and now they were gone. The sense of loss was made all the worse when he learned that he was all but unable to die as well now.
And now, he grew to care about Pharos far to much as he had been his means of disrupting his complete isolation filled with nothing more than pain and misery. Despite knowing what he was, he even grew the love the boy like he loved the thing that were taken away from him.
Love.
A comforting word that was. Words such as that made Makoto wonder if the words were said and assigned meaning or the other way around as both word and meaning fit each other perfectly.
For something that everyone knows and seeks, it's also something that no one can quite describe. Such a strange thing... Was it nothing more than chemicals? Was it also trust? Was it pure trust? What separated it from desire? So many questions...
Such as, how do you tell true love from false love? Not in the sense that someone is trying to fool you, but in the sense that they end up fooling themselves?
He loved his family and he would give his life just for a few seconds of seeing them again. It didn't matter if he couldn't interact with them or anything, but merely seeing them in a form different from the one burned into his brain would satisfy him.
This love was true.
But then that left... her. What was it?
Upon reflection, how much time had they truly spent with one another? What was that sort of bond even based off? A single isolated circumstance on a beach?
That wasn't true, not on her side... But it wasn't something that she knew either so he couldn't hate her for it.
She forced his way into his life and refused to back down despite his protest, she was clearly dedicated to trying to help him... Who's to say she began confusing her feelings? I'd make sense wouldn't it?
Always forgiving him. Always pushing through all of his efforts to push her away. Why she became so enamored with him so quickly.
That's not to say she wasn't in love, but it wasn't from what she thought.
She didn't love him, she loved the idea of helping him... Just like she helps everyone else.
But where'd that leave him? True or false?
Did he love her because he loved her?
Did he simply love the comfort that always came from her?
Did he loved the memories of her that sometimes came when he was around her?
Did he simply love that she listened?
Were all these just qualities about her he loved, or were they themselves what he loved?
"Ugh..." Makoto grunted to himself in small amounts of frustration. Was it this confusing for everyone or was it supposed to be confusing?
The bluenette took another glance at the plushies on his table "Wonder what you'd say, sis..." He wondered, but never expected an answer.
Without saying another word, the boy silently left his home again having delivered the item he wanted. Now... Now he just needed to find a nice place to think and get his mind off everything.
Dorm
Aigis stood in front of the door outside of Kotone's room in silence. It's been a few nights since and Kotone was still preferring solitude over social interaction, something that was very abnormal of her.
She had heard from Yukari that Kotone had tried sharing her feelings with Makoto, but was rejected instead of reciprocated. She had known that such times could be sad, but why did Kotone seem like she was in so much pain?
From the data she had acquired from the others, they had only met a few months ago. Why was it that Kotone had developed such strong emotions for him in such a short period of time?
Furthermore, this meant that Makoto was responsible for her leader's unstable emotional state.
It was situations like this that she was left uncertain what to do. She was under orders to not engage him, for while his manners were something to be desired, he had done nothing to actively harm SEES or anyone else from what they knew so far.
He was... A threat. He was very dangerous. She didn't know why and she might not ever, but every single alarm system within her goes off on full alert whenever she sees the boy.
Then, there were times when he wasn't. At times, he was simply a normal human boy who was no more of a threat than any other human was.
But the fact remains he still hurt Kotone. It didn't matter who he was, threat or not, such an action was unforgivable. She was under orders not to kill him, but her systems could override those orders if evidence if found that confirms that he is a threat.
Did this qualify as evidence? Why did she want any sort of reason to eliminate the boy? What was the reason behind her innate hostility? Was there even a reason?
Whatever the case, Kotone's emotional state remained the same. Unless it is changed, drastic action may be required.
...
...
...
"Kotone-chan, you in there?" Fuuka asked as she knocked on her leader's door. It was noon now and she was still inside her room which was very unusual of her since she was typically an early bird.
Without a word from the other side, the sound of a lock being fiddled with before the knob began to turn and the door slowly opened.
"Yeah, Fuuka?" Kotone greeted, her tone was hollow and flat, the same could be said about her face which lacked the vibrancy that it usually had in exchange for full of listlessness instead.
"We're all worried about you." Fuuka answered genuinely with large and obvious amounts of solicitude in her voice. "You've been spending all your time in your room for the past few days"
"It's nothing." She said while shaking her head slowly, her voice was barely above a whisper right now. It was almost like whatever kept her energetic fire going had been snuffed out.
"Can you at least come down, please." Fuuka pleaded with her leader "At least come down and eat something, you haven't had anything all day."
As if on cue, Kotone's stomach growled loudly, having been deprived of the sustenance it desired.
"Oh, I guess your right." Kotone said as she gently rubbed her stomach. If there was any indication that something was wrong, it was the fact that Kotone of all people was reacting nonchalantly to not eating. The same girl who was a large contributing factor as to why the fridge was always stuffed to the brim downstairs.
As per request of her subordinate, Kotone went down the stairs and sat at the table where everyone else had gathered for idle conversation.
"... Hey" She greeted weakly as she took a seat, Fuuka running off to make her something having learned how to at least passable food with her leader's help.
Suddenly, all eyes were on her as everyone took note of everything about their leader was just... wrong.
Kotone always had a bright outlook, a bright smile on her face, and a warm atmosphere suddenly made the entire area feel nothing short of gloomy and dismal as he vibrant red eyes now seemed to lack the spark they once had.
"Hey, you alright Ko-tan?" Junpei asked, even someone as high-spirited and tireless as him was affected by this massive change in mood. The only time he saw thing kind of complete one-eighty was during that brief time when Makoto was staying at the dorm.
"I'm fine Junpei." Kotone said with her eyes staring off into space and only half paying attention to any of them.
Mitsuru quickly saw that this was getting them nowhere and decided to go for a difference approach "Shiomi, shouldn't we resume our expeditions into Tartarus? With the full moon approaching we should begin preparing."
Kotone hummed as if she was thinking for a moment before saying "You should do that."
"Agreed..." Mitsuru said smiling proudly, finally gaining some sort of progress "... Shall we go tonight?"
"I dunno. Like I said, you should do that." Kotone replied, this time emphasizing the 'you' in her sentence.
Mitsuru slowly blinked in shock as everyone else gasped in shock at what had just left her mouth. Did... Did she just suggest that they go to Tartarus without her?
No.. Was... Was not only her mood, but her faith in herself crippled as well?
"W-What're you saying?" Fuuka asked as she reentered the room the moment she heard those words from the kitchen.
"You've always been our leader!" Yukari pointed out while jumping out of her chair in shock, she knew that she wasn't taking the rejection well but... How could it have been this bad?
"If we do not have our squad leader, we will be at a significant disadvantage in combat." Aigis said using nothing more than pure logic to try and change Kotone's mind.
"It's better if you guys rely on me less... In case I screw up or something." Kotone said while supporting her head with her elbow while looking down at the table.
The way she was making it sound... It was less like she was feeling terrible about being rejected and more like she was feeling as if she had failed at something that was important. What the hell was going on in her head?
"Kotone, what's going on?" Akihiko asked upfront wanting to get to the bottom of whatever it was that was bothering her.
This however, had the opposite effect and caused Kotone to suddenly jolt out of her seat and slam her fist on the table "I said nothing, goddammit! Now will everyone just stop asking?!" She screamed, lashing out at them after three days of simply shrugging off their concerns.
Just as quickly as her anger came, it quickly faded away into a deep regret that caused her to have an extremely penitent look on her face "I'm sorry..." she apologized with a voice that was so fragile it made glass seem like stone in comparison.
"I'm... I'm going to go head out for a bit." Kotone said before leaving the room with her head hung low, her stay at the table ending much faster than it came. Whatever emotions were going through that head of hers was a mystery to everyone except the redhead herself.
The entire team sighed as they shared their leader's pain. In a way, she was what kept the team together and to see her so dreary was almost life sapping for everyone.
Suddenly, a strange smell began to fill the room.
Fuuka gasped "I forgot!" she screamed before running to the kitchen before she could accidentally set the dorm on fire. She may have learned a lot from Kotone, but that didn't mean it was a good idea to let her cook alone.
Even after seeing her run top speed screaming, no one was in the mood to have a small playful laugh at Fuuka's oversight. No, whereas Kotone normally brought life to the entire dorm, she now seemed to being sucking the life out of it.
The look on her face the whole time... It couldn't have just been the fact that she was rejected once by one guy that was bothering her so much, could it?
The way she was seemingly just giving up right now as if she had no faith in herself... What part of a rejection could've caused it to be that severe? It was less as if her feelings weren't requited and was more as if she had failed at something.
Did she fail at something? That's the only that any of them could think of that could've destroyed her self-confidence this badly, but what? Was she always this self-conscious about her abilities as a leader and the rejection was just the breaking point? What was going on?
Whatever it was, they were going to have to hope that the one that made her like this could undo the damage he's done.
Not so sure how this compares in length to the previous chapters, but I hope it was long enough for all of you. I wonder how many of you remembered that Makoto collected plushies as shown in chapter 7... Eh, who cares? You're worried about Kotone, right?
... WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!
... Typical yandere.
*stabs AT!Makoto's knee*
Krgh... Argh... Heh... Worth it...
I sincerely hope it was, brother.
