Uh... beep beep boop.
What?
I don't know what the fuck to say!
Isn't that your entire job?
... Stop talking.
RAX: September... That's it.
Raze Olympus: Hey, I couldn't resist the urge to troll mutual readers.
IAmSoCleverWithMyNameLol: ... Go fuck yourself.
Does that mean you're telling him to crank one out?
What does that mean?
Nope! You're not telling him!
Blahblahblech: He's... not well.
He's a bitch.
Don't you dare say that again!
Maybe, but he's MY bitch!
SolidShinji104: Tempting, but that'd get annoying.
Arcana this... Arcana that.
The Arcana is the blah blah blah!
Arcana is the Arcana of the Arcana of the Arcana!
Fair warning: This is a bit of a long one, by my standards anyway.
Streets
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Makoto's laughter finally began to die down as did his high from the murder he had just committed. With his mind becoming clear again, he could think about the situation at hand once more.
Now that Ikutsuki was gone and thus so were any issues Sakuya could've caused, it was time that he diverted his attention to the remaining members of Strega.
With Takaya and Jin being completely unpredictable, the way he was going to learn anything about them was with Chidori. After the full moon and a bit of tracking on Makoto's part, he was able to learn that she was being held somewhere in the hospital.
Speaking of which, SEES was also going to notice the little stunt that he had just pulled. It was then that a thought occurred to him.
SEES, of course, did not like the boy. This was no surprise to anyone with a brain, but they were also very naïve and could at least trust him enough that they'd believe what he said if something important came up.
"Hmm…" Makoto hummed to himself as he looked around the area and discarded his disguise for his regular clothes.
His normal outfit was still covered in blood meaning that his job was about to be made even easier.
Makoto channeled some of an Agi's fire into Sakuya's knife and pressed it against his right arm. His eyes shot wide open as the fabric burned away and his skin seared.
"G-Gah… A-Ah…" Makoto dropped the knife and continued taking quick, pained breaths. With that done, he turned to Thanatos who was still standing tall.
Makoto took one more deep breath "This one's gonna suck." He muttered as he mentally braced himself for what was about to happen.
Following his master's orders, Thanatos struck Makoto's torso with enough force to knock the wind out of him and launch him a few feet away.
When Makoto's back hit the ground, he was left wheezing as he could almost feel his ribs crackling inside him.
"T-Think… Think you put a little… Too much into… that one, pal…" He slowly breathed as he tried to get back on his feet with the aid of a car that was next to him.
Time for part two of my plan… Makoto thought to himself as he began to move as quickly as he could with his self-inflicted injuries.
…
…
…
With his arms covering his chest and broken ribs, and one hand covering his burned flesh, Makoto launched himself into the doors in front of him and consequently fell to the floor from the momentum as soon as they opened.
Rolling onto his back, Makoto closed his eyes and panted as the sound of barking and several footsteps drawing closer and closer.
"Yuki?" Mitsuru's voice could be heard as the footsteps belonging to her and likely the rest of the team drew even closer in what sounded like a full blown sprint.
Makoto opened his eyes and leaned himself against the closest wall and had to fight the urge to smile to himself as he saw everyone's shocked faces.
"Nice to see you too…" He breathed out before coughing. Now, he needed to make sure they'd buy his little lie.
"Makoto-kun! What happened?!" Fuuka was the first to ask as she covered her mouth. Despite playing a support role in many battles, she had never seen anyone actually get critically injured before.
Kotone – who was sitting now sitting next to the injured boy – also gasped as she looked at the boy's state up close "God, you're covered in blood!"
Despite his best efforts, Makoto couldn't help but chuckle at that "I know, I can kinda feel that."
Mitsuru turned towards Yukari "Takeba, we still have a few minutes before the Dark Hour ends. Get your Evoker and start healing as quickly as you can!"
Yukari nodded "I'm on it!" she agreed as she quickly dashed up the stairs to fetch her Evoker.
"Relax guys. It's just a few broken bones…" Makoto assured them, trying to act like he could simply shrug off any of the damage that'd been inflicted on him.
"Quit playing tough, dammit!" Kotone screamed in his ear which damn-near deafened him.
Makoto rubbed his ear as Mitsuru took a step closer "Yuki, what exactly happened?!"
"Wanna know so badly? Fine..!" Makoto frowned as he looked up into the Empress' eyes "Your chairman's fucking dead!"
Everyone — even someone as cold as Mitsuru — gasped in shock upon the delivery of Ikutsuki's 'unfortunate' demise.
It was almost hilarious to see all the horror on their faces. In actuality, they should be on their knees thanking him for what he had just done.
The old bastard was just waiting for the right opportunity to play turn coat and kill all of them. Now they were going to go off fighting in his name... Bloody fools.
"Don't know exactly what went down..." Makoto lied, his voice was now sounding a bit clearer now that Yukari had finally come down and spamming whatever healing spells she had on her. "... All I know is that either that mister hoodie or that scar-faced bastard did." he continued to lie.
He was tempted to say 'Strega' and Sakuya, but Strega's MO wasn't nearly brutal enough to lie about them, especially when an accomplice of theirs like Shinjiro was around. And while mentioning his hooded disguise might sound counter-intuitive, it was better if they believed that the two of them were in same place at the same time for once, even if it was in word only.
"Sure it was one of them? A-Are you... Are you sure it was him?" Akihiko asked, sounding as if he was still trying to wrap his head around everything. Ikutsuki, the man who had been with SEES since the very beginning, was now dead...
Makoto let out a soft grunt in frustration mixed in with the pain he felt every time he breathed as he glared at Akihiko "No, I only ran here because I was hoping I could ask what protein mix you use. What the hell do you think?!"
"Holy shit..." Junpei took a few steps back before sitting down in the nearest chair. He knew that fighting shadows was a life or death job, but to not only have someone die but die to other people was just... It was almost completely unbelievable to him.
"What about you?" Shinjiro asked as he narrowed his eyes slightly in suspicion "How'd you get away? Actually, how'd you even get so fucked up?"
"Tried killing the bastard who tried killing me while those two were trying to kill each other," Makoto lied yet again "Clearly it didn't go so well."
"We... We can hold off on the question for now." Mitsuru said, trying desperately to regain herself after the news of her oldest ally's death "I'll arrange for a trip to the hospital when the Dark Hour ends."
Makoto rolled his eyes, but deep inside he smiled to himself. This was going even better than what he had originally planned "Whatev-Ah!" he screamed as he felt one of his broken go where it wasn't supposed to. It was official, Thanatos really hit him too hard.
Hospital
To make Makoto's good luck streak even better, he was now stuck sharing a room with Chidori since most of the rooms were already being filled with victims of Apathy Syndrome. Every time an Arcana shadow was destroyed, the number of victims plummeted but quickly returned with a vengeance.
Chidori was doing nothing but writing in her sketchbook like usual as she lied on her hospital bed. According to everyone else, she pretty much never said a word to anyone except Junpei—for whatever reason.
And right now, Makoto and Chidori were alone in the room together while the member of SEES were off attending school. Never in his life did he think that he'd actually be thankful for something relating to school.
"So, Ikutsuki is dead now..." Makoto tried starting up a conversation with her, knowing full well that she really wasn't the talkative type. If nothing else would get anything out of her, surely mentioning the man that made her into what she was would do something.
And something it did—Chidori immediately stopped moving her pencil as she looked like she was currently letting that information sink in.
"You know who Ikutsuki is, right?" Makoto asked as he turned his body towards her direction. If he was right, the 'unknown' handler behind Strega's project was Ikutsuki. If that was the case, maybe that will help him out?
"Why would you do that?" She asked bluntly, not even taking a moment to consider that any other than him had been the one to kill Ikutsuki.
Makoto's lips curled slightly as he got out of bed and pulled up a seat next to the gothic girl "Alright, we'll trade stories then. I take it you won't say anything?"
Without saying a word, Chidori gave a small, quick nod in agreement as Makoto sighed softly.
"Alright— Once upon a time, I had a family. We weren't all that special, but we all loved each other and blah, blah, you know how it goes..." Makoto explained as his mind began to wander back to the day he'll never forget "Then on my seventh birthday, we decided to party which lasted a lot longer than expected. It wasn't until almost midnight we finally decided to home. I'm never going to forget just how exhausted I was during the ride..."
"But then, the moment the clock struck twelve the first ever Dark Hour began to manifest..." It was all coming back to him now...
"My parents became coffins naturally, but I didn't. I thought I was having some sort of nightmare until I heard the sound of rattling chains..." And that cold, cold air that frosted the windows...
The sounds of gunfire that hurt his ears...
"Activating Orgia mode!"
The smell of smoke coming from a nearby fire...
The heat from the fire contrasting with the cold...
And the indescribable pain of being the one to watch it all happen...
"Minato!"
Makoto shook his head as to avoid trapping his mind in the memories of a dead man "Long story short, I was the only one that got out of there alive." he explained as the feeling of pure hatred began to return to him "Since he was one of the scientist responsible for the Dark Hour, me and my friend exacted our revenge on him."
"Friend?" Chidori asked. Makoto said nothing, but looked at the boy sitting next to him as Chidori began to feel as if a feeling of a cold and dark emptiness was in the room with her—That was more than enough for her to understand.
"He's 'bout the only good thing Ikutsuki and this fucking hour has given me." Makoto concluded as he looked at Chidori expectingly "What about you?"
"He gave me my friend, too..." Chidori looked down into her sketchbook seemingly saddened "... Medea."
Medea? Didn't she say that name on the roof earlier? Was that her persona's name?
"Hmm..." Now that she was thinking about her persona, she looked... lost. Almost as if that was the only friend she truly has. Looks like Makoto wasn't alone in that regard.
Makoto slowly breathed in before looking down "Takaya and Jin aren't really your friends are they?"
"..." Chidori paused for a moment, as if she was thinking about her relationship with the other Strega members "... What else am I supposed to do?"
"Huh?"
"You're trying to ask what I'm doing with them..." She says matter-of-factly as she turned her head towards him "... What else was I supposed to do? There's nothing for me out there."
"Oh..." Makoto let out another long, soft sigh as he slumped his shoulders "... Can't exactly blame you there."
Chidori looked around the room again before looking down at her drawing again "I hate this place..."
"Again, can't blame you there."
"It's not so bad though..." She said, sounding almost uncharacteristically optimistic "At least, not when Junpei comes to visit."
"When Junpei comes to—" Makoto rapidly blinked in surprise as he took a moment to process that information.
All of Chidori's interactions with Junpei that he'd caught her doing from time to time.
She wasn't trying to lure him in a trap, trick him, use him, or do anything with him.
No, she was actually into Junpei!
"Huh... Huh..." If there was anything that could leave him speechless, then it was definitely this. So Junpei had a thing for goth chicks and... How the hell did this happen?!
"How—" Makoto was about to question how this came to be, but then a thought occurred to him. Even if it was Minato, technically he was a step away from spending a long time with Kotone who was essentially a child at times while he planned on eliminating Mitsuru and her teammates "... On second thought, I'm not going judge there."
"You want to know where they are, don't you?" Chidori asked rhetorically as she finally began to draw again "I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. Takaya likes to change where our hideout is frequently. You're far better off just waiting somewhere until they come to you."
"Speaking of which, why haven't they done that?" Makoto asked "I mean, I still remember Jin's grenade going off next to me."
Chidori paused for a moment before she starting drawing again "Takaya made a deal with that other boy, the one with the scar."
"Say what now?" Makoto asked as he remembered how he just let Sakuya go last night. Dammit, what was he thinking?! He should've just taken that remote for himself and use that puppet how he sees fit!
"He said that you and the hooded boy were the only ones that'd ever been able to fight him and survive, so he wanted to be the one to kill you himself..." She explained as she continued drawing, speaking as if this were nothing more than a casual conversation "... Takaya agreed to his terms. Said that he would be waiting for their next meeting as if he knew it'd happen. It probably will knowing him."
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Makoto swore mentally as his error went on replay in his head. He was so wrapped up in killing Ikutsuki that he hadn't even thought for a moment that... And Sakuya knew that he and the hooded boy were the same person too! If Strega finds out and blabs to SEES...
"Dammit, dammit! Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck!" He continued swearing under his breath. He wanted to leave this room right now and find and kill that brunette before he could do anything!
But at the same time, he had nothing to go on.
He knew nothing of where he slept, where he likes to be, where he went, or anything! And if Takaya really likes to switch up where his hideout was, then trying to finding them was going to be a waste of time.
All he could do now was sit and contemplate his error. Who knows what that boy was doing now?
Meanwhile
"Uh... Like this?" Sakuya thought out loud as he pressed the button in front of him... But nothing happened.
"W-What the hell?!" Sakuya shouted as he pressed the button again and again, but still nothing happened!
This was a vending machine right? Aren't they supposed to give out drinks after you press the button! What the hell was he missing?! Was it broken?!
Sakuya's light blue eye changed to a dark grey and he grunted loudly in response to his anger and instead of simply pressing the button, he then began to repeatedly punch, kick, and shake the machine with all of his strength.
"Work you piece of shit!" He screamed as he gave the thing one more solid kick, but not a single thing came of it other than a hurting foot.
Giving up, Sakuya took a step back and leaned against the wall opposite to the machine as he continued to glare at the machine. And here he was getting his hopes up, but no the thing was fucking useless!
Suddenly, a girl who looked like she was maybe six to eight years old walked up with some yen in her hand.
Sakuya grinned to himself as he imagined the look of trouble that was going to spread come across the kid's―Wait, what was she putting into the machine? Weren't you supposed to take something out? What the hell was this?
With the money inserted, the girl pressed the button with the drink she desired and then reached into the slot below and pulled out her bottle of soda.
Sakuya's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as the girl walked away with her drink in hand and a smile on her face. He walked towards the machine and pressed the button again, but nothing happened.
Sakuya sighed as he glared at the machine again "Is it because I hit ya? C'mon, I'm sorry!" he apologized to the machine in front of him.
He pressed the button again, but still nothing happened! What did that girl give it?! What in the hell?!
The brunette took another step backwards "... Fuckin' asshole." he muttered before walking away.
Home
With nothing left to do there, Makoto left his hospital (much to the doctors' chagrin) and returned back to his apartment where he could privately vent his frustrations.
"Fuck!" Makoto yelled as he slammed his fist against the table as hard as he could. Sakuya was god knows where and now he's left wondering what the hell to do next?!
Makoto grabbed and placed a large pot next to his usual chair and performed his usual habit of cutting deep into his wrist and forearm.
SEES was on edge now after what he did to Ikutsuki, but they were also vulnerable now right? It'd be so easy to just go in there tonight and kill them all...
... But that'd also mean he'd have to kill—
DAMMIT! Makoto mentally screamed as he dug the knife deeper and cut from his forearm all the way up slicing through his left bicep muscles until his blade was stopped as his blade finally hit his shoulder bone.
The pot was now quickly filling with blood as Makoto sat there motionless as he allowed nothing more than his thoughts to occupy his mind.
Dammit, this was so frustrating for him. What was he supposed to do now?! Every time he thought about it, there was the question of what to do about her.
What was the right decision to make?! If he does nothing, then he'll have nothing left to live for and the nightmares he has every night will continue until the day he finally dies. And if he does kill SEES, then... He'd had to live with the fact he killed the only person who ever gave a damn about his life and tried so hard for him despite getting nothing in return, the one who he had—
No, he was getting distracted again! But... Was it a distraction? Dammit, it was so confusing for him! What... What was he supposed to do? Why was it so confusing..?
Why couldn't he have just burned with his family all those years ago?
Dorm
"Hey, Junpei..!" Kotone greeted her capped friend after a long day at school.
"Oh, hey Ko-tan..." Junpei who had been sitting on the sofa returned the greeting with an unusually soft-spoken voice "How you doin'?"
"Everything alright?" Kotone asked as she sat next to the boy, concerned was prevalent in her voice as she spoke "You're sounding a little down."
"I'm fine, just..." Junpei let out a long and heavy sigh "... Been one of those days, you know?"
"Well, come one..!" She said as she gently nudged his shoulder "Not saying anything isn't going to help."
"I guess..." Junpei let out another long sigh before sitting up "Where should I start? Mr. Jackass himself left the hospital not too long before school ended, so there's that."
"Of course he did." Kotone facepalmed the moment she heard that. Completely going against what any normal human being would and making the few that worry about him worry about him even more? Yup, that sounded exactly like Makoto for ya.
Junpei looked down and his cap caused his eyes to be concealed by its bill. "I'm just... I'm worried about Chidori a lot."
"Aw, that's sweet... Once you get passed the fact she held you hostage." Kotone said playfully, trying to lighten the mood a small bit
"No, I mean she..." Junpei grunted to himself a bit as if he was contemplating something before looking up and saying "You know that Akihiko and Mitsuru-senpai had to remove all the sharp objects from the room? Yeah, they did that because she likes cutting herself."
"Oh shit..." Kotone whispered in shock as she blinked rapidly "You serious? Damn..."
"Caught her with her arm bleedin' once too." He said as he remembered one of his earlier interactions with Chidori before the full moon "And to think, I probably would've missed the red stain if her dress wasn't all white."
"Blood stain, huh?" Kotone repeated before a thought occurred to her. Didn't Makoto have a blood stain on his arm not too long ago? He said that he cut himself while making something which wasn't an unbelievable thing, but...
Actually, now that she thought more about it. During her stay at his apartment she noticed that he always had a large stack of pans and pots that were put in a pile of things that needed to be washed despite looking as if they were completely rinsed out.
Was she just getting paranoid at this point? After all, did Makoto really seem like the type to actually do that to himself?
Then again, she also watched him claw himself in his sleep. Was it really out of the realm of possibility that he might've done it while awake too?
It's unlikely that he would've considered it a problem given that he healed from almost everything that could possibly be thrown at him unless it came from something extremely powerful. Still, having a habit where yo regularly hurt yourself... That's not a good thing to have.
She didn't have any real solid evidence that proved or disproved what she was thinking, but the 'what ifs' kept playing on repeat in her mind. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to check on him right now?
"Hey, Junpei..." Kotone stood up with a somewhat anxious sound in her voice "I uh... Something possible important came to mind, and..."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it..." Junpei sighed as he leaned back "I'll be here if you need me."
Kotone smiled in appreciation "You're the best, Stupei!" She said before taking off
Junpei smiled to himself having just received a compliment from his leader and— Wait, did she just..? "Stop calling me that!"
Home
Kotone stood outside Makoto's door as she thought about what to do next. Now that she was here... what was she supposed to do?
If she was right and she knocked, that gives Mr. I-heal-from-everything time to recover and conceal any evidence that proves if she was right or wrong.
If she was wrong and she just barged in... Well, then she was wrong and he'd probably take offence to her thoughts and it might even reverse or damage their link. Her link goes, so does her affinity with the Death Arcana which would make its personas really hard to strengthen and that's if she could get them at all.
Not to mention, what the hell is she supposed to say? 'Makoto-kun, please stop cutting yourself'? Or 'Makoto-kun, stop cutting yourself!'? How the heck was she supposed to deal with this?!
Ah, to hell with it! Kotone thought as she took deep breaths and gently gripped the doorknob. Hate me or not, I need to know you're alright. She told herself. He broke her heart once to help her; She was done walking on eggshells if it meant that it was for his own well being.
Taking one more deep breath, Kotone barged into the bluenette's room without a knock or any indication that she was coming in. What she saw was something that shocked her to the point she almost could move.
"K-Kotone..?" Sitting there in a chair by the window was Makoto who had taken a knife and sliced through his wrist all the way to his shoulder and the blood from which was being drained into a large pot that'd been set up by him.
Without thinking, the redhead ran to the boy and grabbed the uninjured side of his bleeding "Oh my god! D-Did you..?" She almost couldn't believe it. He wasn't just cutting his wrist, he was cutting himself apart.
"I-It's... It's fine." He breathed out weakly as he looked away. Had this been anyone else, they would've died the moment they ran to him but now... Dammit, why couldn't he control himself?!
"It's not fine, you idiot!" She screamed at him. How could he think this was fine?!
"No harm done. Look..." He continued speaking softly as he gently pulled his left arm.
Kotone looked down and saw that his injury was completely gone now. The only sign of it ever even existing was the blood that still covered almost all of the arm.
Rather than feeling relieved, Kotone only felt more infuriated "Wait for me in your room." She ordered like mother disciplining their child. Makoto was about to say something, but was instantly cut off with "Makoto, for god's sake... Just wait in your room, please."
Makoto wanted to say something, but something else was holding him back. More than that, it felt as if his chest had suddenly become a bottomless pit that killed any will he had to fight.
Without saying a word, Makoto slowly raised himself out of his seat and dragged his feet as he entered his room.
Kotone immediately took the pot and dumped all of its contents out into the kitchen sink. The whole thing was about half-way full, how was he not dead or in shock? Were his persona's abilities just that good?
There was no time to think about that as there was another realization that came from that. If he's bled that much... How long had he just chosen to remain there motionless as the life slowly bled from him? More than that, if he had all these pots and bowls and everything... How often did he do this to himself?
Shaking those terrible thoughts from her head, she searched drawer after drawer until she finally found a wash cloth which she proceeded to put under the sink's tap water.
After soaking the piece of cloth, she quickly ran into the boy's room to find that he was now sitting patiently on his bed with his head facing downwards.
Without saying another word, Kotone grabbed Makoto's arm again and began to scrub as much of the blood off of him as she could. Luckily for her, she acted fast enough that most of the blood hadn't had much time to coagulate yet so it was easy enough to wipe away.
"Swear to me..." She demanded, but her demand was too vague which became apparent as she saw the confusion in his eyes "Swear to me that you'll never do this again! Ever!"
Makoto paused for a few moments, unsure if he could give her the response she wanted.
Noticing his hesitance, the redhead grabbed the bluenette by the shoulders and looked at him as her teary, shocked, and even downright terrified eyes met with his despondent and ashamed ones "Makoto, please!"
Hearing her plead like this... It only further killed whatever will Makoto had to resist. Without saying anything, he silently nodded.
"I... I just don't..." A few tears fell down her cheeks as she tried desperately to figure out why he would do this to himself "Why would you do this? Why?!"
Makoto looked down again as his will stronger than it'd been in years just last night continued to plummet.
Answer her, Makoto. Minato whispered in his ear, his voice now sounding very soft and gentle as if he was trying to help an old friend. Come on, you know you want to.
"It's... the only means I have." Makoto continued to speak softly, whatever drive he had to manipulate her and trick her like he'd done last night was all but none existent at this point.
Kotone said nothing, but the look she gave him told him that he was listening "Every day... Every day I just... I need something to remind me. Something to tell me that I'm still alive and this isn't some fucked up version of hell. And when I'm confused or frustrated, my thoughts always seem to just drift away as life I'd taken a crate-full of narcotics." he explained his reasons for his dangerous habit "Without it I'm... I'm not anything and all of the few things I feel just build and build until I explode."
"God, you're such an idiot!" She screamed as she did the action that felt the most right to her which was to wrap her arms around him as tears began to fall as if an entire floodgate had been opened "H-How can you say all that?! You're not nothing! At least, you're something to me! Y-You're my friend and..." He arms began to hold onto him even tighter "... I-If that's not enough, then think of Minako!"
Makoto's eyes instantly widened as he heard the name of his other half that would never see the light of day again "You said she was your sister right? God, don't you think she'd want he brother to be happy? She'd never want you to ever do this to yourself!" What she said was true, very true. But at the same time, that was something that was useless to him... He didn't deserve to live, but only he and Pharos knew the reason why, the latter of which refused to let the former embrace the fate he craved for.
As Kotone continued to cry out of fear and worry while holding onto him tightly, Makoto let out a weak chuckle "This... This really hurts, you know?" he confessed which caused her to stifle her crying as best she could "Every time you touch me... It feels like I'm being set on fire. It hurts... It hurts so much..."
Despite his words, his arms reached up and hugged her back "This is the worst... The worst type of agony. I've been stabbed in the eye and it's hurt less than this." he asked as he rested his head on her shoulder as they continued to hold onto each other "I... really hate you, you know? You're the only one who's ever made me felt this way. I keep ignoring what's better for me—Hell, for both of us. It's... It's all so frustrating." he continued.
Keep going, Makoto... Minato whispered in his other self's head. The only way he could truly help himself was to help his other self, maybe then they wouldn't have to be separate... Maybe then, he can come back to a life where he can finally forgive himself for what he did that day.
Once again, despite his words Makoto found himself chuckling weakly "I just don't get it..." he expressed even more of his confusion "It hurts... It hurts so much and you drive me insane. So why..?" he asked as his grip unexpectedly tightened more "Why can't I let go? Every moment without you makes it feel like I'm being stabbed, but every moment with you makes me feel like I'm being set on fire instead. Is this hell?"
Not giving her time to answer, Makoto began to slowly move his head "I've tried ending it all before, you know? A few times actually." he shared as he thought back to his earlier years " Not long after my parents died and I found myself face to face with a shadow, I just didn't have any strength in my legs to move. I just let that thing tear me apart over and over, but I kept putting myself together again. When I was ten, I couldn't stand the nightmares anymore and jumped off the roof of my orphanage... healed from that too."
Makoto slowly closed his eyes as the two teenagers held onto each other "I'm scared... I'm scared every time I close my eyes. Every night now it's the same dream over and over again. There's nothing I want more than for them to all go away..." he shared the one thing that he wanted the most in the entire world; The one wish that may forever go unfulfilled
"Is this some sick joke? Is there some god out there putting me through this at one of his whims?" he questioned "Everything... Everything is nothing but hell and pain for me, especially you. I'm so lost between what I want, what I think I need, what I might actually need, what more harm than good, and more good than harm. Nothing makes sense anymore..." he complained, his voice slowly becoming weaker and weaker
"Sh, sh... You don't need to say anymore." She whispered back to him as he continued to rest his head on her shoulder
"For both our sake..." He whispered, the sound of fear was apparent in his voice and he kept his eyes squeezed shut "... Don't be here when I wake up, not tonight. I won't do anything, I promise."
The way he said made it so that Kotone couldn't do anything other than believe the boy, so she gave a slowly nod which the boy was able to feel due to their close proximity.
Do it... Minato whispered, but only he and Makoto knew what that could mean.
"Kotone, do me one more thing... And you don't have to if you don't want to..." He said, his voice was hesitant almost as if part of him was telling him to stop, but the rest of him pushed on "... C-Can you... Call me Minato... Just once, I... I need to hear it."
Minato... Kotone thought as she compared that to Minako again. If that name was so personal to him and it sounded it so similar... It must've been his real name.
"Alright..." She agreed to the boy's request as she too began to close her eyes "... Minato."
...
...
...
"Nrgh..." Kotone softly grunted as she opened her eyes. Did she actually fall asleep?
She looked down and saw the sight of a trembling Makoto who looked as if he was suffering the worst nightmare imaginable. Over and over he was forced to relieve the same dream every night, it was no wonder he was how he was.
Makoto was rude and could be downright cruel if pushed hard enough, but deep down it was all because he was afraid. He'd lost everything, and now he'd rather have nothing than to have something and risk losing it all again... All of that to avoid the pain he felt.
Minato was the opposite in almost every regard. He was nice and seemed to embrace having relations with others (most notably herself). It was now she couldn't help but wonder, is that because of him being a good person or was it so that he had something to hold onto?
Either way, for the first time ever, she finally felt that she understood him.
Minato, Makoto, either way they were the same person if you dug deep enough. Somewhere deep down was a hurting boy name Minato who was desperately craving to love and be loved. Makoto showed off the former in spades, while Minato did the same with the latter. Not matter which side it was, they were both a boy named Minato.
Kotone sighed as she remembered what she had agreed to before both of them lost consciousness. She'd love nothing more than to stay here with him and be the first thing he sees out of his nightmare, but in his state and after what he said it might do more harm than good.
Moving as slowly and quietly as possible, she slowly managed to lay the boy down on the bed and put a blanket over him without waking him up.
Walking on her tip toes, Kotone walked to his bedroom door before looking back one more time. It was now that she finally understood what her feeling where toward them— No, him. But at the same time, she knew that now wasn't the time.
"Take care, Minato-kun..." She whispered before silently closing the door.
Pharos —who had been sitting silently the whole exchange— opened his eyes with a frown on his face. Last straw... This was the last straw for him. He'd been confident that Makoto was able to keep a clear enough mind to know what he was doing, but no she was clouding his head and confusing him now.
Minato... That's not a name he'd share with ANYONE. The only reason he even knows is because he knew him even before he discarded that name and he only told Ikutsuki so that he knew who he was really was before he killed him.
And now, she took away his only means for him to cope with everything. While he wasn't supportive of the hobby, he was willing to accept it as it was one of the few things keeping him together. Now he just needed the right push and he'd be pushed to the brink of insanity in a moments notice.
He couldn't stay silent anymore... He had to convince Makoto to cut her lose before it was too late. If not... Will he even be Makoto anymore?
So, I decided that after a certain event happens, that's when I'll decide the fic's ultimate fate. In the meantime... this happened. I was going to cut it off when Kotone left the dorm, but I didn't know how long it'd be so I said "fuck it! Doing it all in one!"
Gr... That even better be him in my bed or me in his bed having the night of our lives!
NO! HE WILL NOT SHARE A BED WITH ONE SUCH AS YOU!
When will this fucking end already?!
