It was nothing less than The Emperor's divine intervention that we arrived at the governor's estate before any of the Silver ranked adventurers were able to kill each other over one of their petty arguments. Our party arrived late in the afternoon, with only a few hours of daylight remaining to conduct any preliminary work in regards to the mysterious quest Frontier Town Governor sought us out for. Witch, Jurgen, and I were the only ones who managed to escape the carriage without any visible injuries, as we had no intentions of involving ourselves in the childish disputes the others kept getting themselves into. It was because of this that we were the only three capable of assisting the carriage driver in removing everyone's luggage from the carriage upon our arrival.
As far as gubernatorial palaces go, the one Frontier Town Governor called home was surprisingly modest. The mansion that I presumed to be the governor's main living quarters was safely nestled in an open plain, surrounded by kilometers of forest on every side. There were numerous guards patrolling the border between the open clearing and dense tree coverage bordering it, and I was quick to take note of the numerous guards patrolling the area.
Even the most paranoid nobles would have believed that our host had far too many troops monitoring the perimeter, several dozen more than necessary considering the planet was not facing a xenos or Chaos invasion. The governor or the veteran soldier in charge of his defense were obviously expecting some unexpected company, a worrying prospect, but not an unreasonable one given how many adventurers they recruited. Whoever those visitors were, they were in store for a violent welcome party, one which I could only hope would be enough to fend them off long enough for me to make my escape if my tingling palms were right about how frakked Frontier Town Governor was.
I did my best to forget the enormous troop presence actively patrolling the governor's estate as I helped haul our luggage off of the carriage, allowing my aide's pleas to handle the heaviest of loads and unfamiliar sight of the unflattened decorative shrubbery lining the front of the mansion to distract me from my tingling palms. It was far too late for me to regret coming along with the Silver ranked adventurers, and unless I wanted my growing reputation to falter now when I was so close to gaining a powerful ally, I had no choice but to stomach my apprehension until I learned more about the quest I was about to undertake.
Moving the half dozen or so suitcases and bundles of supplies proved to be easier than expected, as Witch proved that her magic was far more effective at lifting heavier objects than my aide, myself, and the elderly carriage driver assisting us. She also proved to be quite effective at dragging her partner out of the covered portion of the wagon as well, the bluefooted idiot only offering a token resistance when she pulled him off of his sorry arse by his ear. Heavy Warrior and Female Knight were left up to the rest of us, Jurgen and the carriage driver assisting the later as best as they could despite her pitiful attempts to break free from my malodorous aide's grasps while the former was able to use me as a crutch until he regained enough strength to walk on his own. The ogryn sized man was far lighter than I expected him to be, although considering how much the thick slab of iron he called a sword weighed, I wasn't surprised. It made sense that he would do everything he could to ease the burden he carried when wielding a weapon with such destructive potential, and it was only by watching the pained expression of my aide and the carriage driver carrying Female Knight up the stairs to the mansion that I realized I had been quite lucky to assist the least battered of the three hotheaded adventurers.
Whether it was through a desire to make themselves look somewhat presentable or unwillingness to stay in close proximity to my aide, the four Silver ranked adventurers allowed Jurgen and I to lead our hastily formed squad through the front doors of the governor's mansion. A cadre of maids and manservants were lined up in the foyer to give us the most extravagant welcome their employer had to offer us. Those closest to Jurgen's unique aroma quickly took several steps away from us, the remainder of the governor's staff that had assembled to greet us following in their footsteps not long after once they too got a whiff of my aide's distinctive stench.
To their credit, most of the staff remained expressionless as they retreated against the vicious assault on their sinuses, although I did pick up a few tortured grimaces of some of the youngest looking girls amongst the assembled maids as we walked past them. One particular man who couldn't help but to scowl at the very sight of my aide had been waiting for us at the end of the tunnel of bodies to our sides, the wrinkles on the old butler's face recoiling in horror once he was close enough to smell Jurgen in full force.
"My goodness! What is that smell?!" He shouted in disgust, quickly dropping whatever refined look he was going for as he shielded his nose with both of his hands.
Masking my distaste of this prissy manservant and the way he stared at my aide as if he was subhuman, I offered an outstretched hand towards what appeared to be the mansion's head butler and gave him the warmest smile I could as I answered his question. "That would be Jurgen, I'm afraid. He tends to… 'react poorly' to any climate where the air isn't cold enough to see your own breath." I explained.
"By the gods! I've never seen, let alone smelled, anyone more foul than that thing! I thought my lord requested the best adventurers Frontier Town had to offer, not some common ruffians they dragged out of the gutter." The butler exclaimed, making my already dismal opinion of him sink even lower.
"Perhaps it would be best if we were to introduce ourselves before saying anything else we might regret." I said as the butler finally found enough strength to leave his nose halfway unguarded and shake my hand. I was quick to put just enough strength behind our handshake to hear his bones creak from the pressure and let go of him just before he could cry out in pain. As much as I wanted to torment the man further for his blatant mistreatment of my companion, the audience which was surrounding me, several of which I would likely be working with in the future, forced me to relent on my plans to avenge my aide's honor.
With that said, that didn't mean I was unable to put the snooty servant in his place. "I am Commissar Ciaphas Cain, a newly registered Porcelain rank adventurer your master saw fit to hire, and the man you have already pointed out beside me is First Class Gunner Ferik Jurgen, the most loyal and capable soldier I have met in my eighty years of service within the Imperial Guard." I announced.
The butler's eyes nearly flew out of his head from how wide they opened after I had given my introduction, and now that he finally realized how discourteous he had been to the both of us, tried his best to take back what has already been said.
"My deepest apologies, Commissar, Gunner… I thought a man- MEN of your reputation and status would have arrived separately from the other adventurers we requested." He rambled on in an attempt to deflect my quickly growing hatred towards the man.
"There will be plenty of time to apologize later, sir…?"
"Please, call me Head Butler." Head Butler replied with a deep bow that made it impossible for him to see me scoff at his ridiculous name.
Before either of us could continue, a young woman suddenly rushed to Head Butler's side from the corner of my eye, her flowing blonde hair trailing behind her like the tail of a dog and the expression on her face resembling that of an excitable war hound as well. She was dressed in the same finery I had come to associate with the upper classes of society, her top a surprisingly modest black coat that hid her slender frame quite well that was paired with a more typical white undershirt and grey tights that failed to meet the same standards the rest of her otherwise practical outfit set. In addition to the light and relatively unrestricted clothing she wore, the blonde also carried an ornate looking rapier with an immaculate golden guard and two blood red gemstones inlaid in the hilt leading up to the unscratched silver blade that dangled beside her left leg.
I could easily tell that whoever this noble was, she clearly believed herself to be a woman of action despite her weapon lacking any of the same knicks or scratches that my own had earned after years of use. It was only when I was able to pull my eyes away from the soft mounds of her chest that I noticed the Porcelain tag dangling from her neck, and I could finally make sense of why a noble's daughter would seem so excited to see several adventurers of high standing in her own home.
"Commissar Cain! My father has heard a lot about you!" The overly energetic girl declared, giving me a small curtsy after saying her piece.
"Nothing bad I hope." I joked in response, knowing that I likely wouldn't have been allowed anywhere near Frontier Town Governor's estate, let alone inside his personal mansion or daughter, if he did hear anything that would make him doubt the incredulous exploits I relayed to the Guild over a week ago.
"Formalities aside, to whom do I have the honor of meeting as my fellow Porcelain?" I asked, feigning interest in her career.
The small lip service I paid her instantly lit a fire in the girl's eyes that brought back awful memories of Jenit Sulla getting ready to do something I would do, or rather, enacting a frakking idiotic plan she thought I would have carried out if I wasn't more focused on saving my own skin.
"You can call me Noble Fencer, Commissar, sir! I cannot wait to see you in action!" She was practically drooling at the potential of fighting alongside me, a prospect that was quickly looking less enjoyable by the second as her furor showed no signs of waning any time soon.
"Perhaps we… should wait and… speak with our… quest giver first?" Witch said, her soothing voice cutting through the frantic air around me like a hot knife through warm grox butter.
"Oh, of course!" Noble Fencer agreed with our luscious spell caster. "I'll escort you and the other Silver ranked adventurers to the guardhouse so you can start coordinating with them for the quest tomorrow morning."
She made it clear from the way she spoke around me that my aide and I were not going to be amongst those accompanying her to the guardhouse. "And what will you have Jurgen and I do in the meantime?" I inquired.
Rather than the bubbly girl seeing fit to answer me, Head Butler finally decided to act as a proper host and took charge. "I do believe that I am more than capable of escorting you to the lord governor's work chambers while his daughter entertains the others on the way to their destination." He informed me.
"My master has been eager to meet you since first hearing news of your arrival within our territory, Sir Commissar. I would be remiss to delay your meeting any longer than I already have." He said as the other adventurers silently followed Noble Fencer through one of the side halls of the foyer.
The manservant remained motionless for an uncomfortably long time after the other adventurers departed, before finally turning to glare at my aide when it became painfully obvious to him that Jurgen intended to stay at my side. "I do believe that only the Commissar will be required for this meeting, Gunner." He sighed, having grown quite tired of a Guardsman who was likely already plotting his revenge for his earlier slights.
"Jurgen will stay with me." I quickly responded before my aide could potentially damage my standing with the governor by giving Head Butler a well deserved piece of his mind. "He might look like the perfect or even a passable attendant, but as my aide, his position within the Imperium can be considered equal to my own, and excluding him from any proceedings purely based on his appearance is something I cannot condone. Whatever the governor has to say to me, it would be irresponsible of me to not include my aide in whatever matters your lord has sought me out for."
The Head Butler shrunk underneath my bullheaded insistence to bring my aide along, but not so much as to immediately give into my demands. "I'm afraid that I simply cannot allow that, Commissar..."
And since I could tell that the man was lying through his teeth, I simply could not allow him to understand the potential consequences of his actions. I couldn't outright threaten him without tarnishing my decidedly unearned reputation on this planet, but I didn't need to in order to get what I wanted. Presenting myself as a brash man of action who had little patience for anything that I felt was impractical had allowed me plenty of concessions from various aristocrats and equally small minded staff in the past, and I could tell from the look of uncertainty in Head Butler's eyes that all it would take was a little push to get him to back down.
"I understand." I interrupted, raising my voice as I prepared to put on an overly exaggerated show before the remaining maids and manservants that had yet to resume whatever they were doing before our arrival. I made sure to address my aide directly for the next part so as to put even more pressure on Head Butler.
"Jurgen, it appears our host does not give veteran soldiers such as yourself with the same respect that our own citizens would show us. Go with the others, I'll do everything I can to appeal to the governor so that way he recognizes the two of us as equals the next time I speak with him." I ordered, giving my aide the most sincere look of pity I could muster while the Head Butler stuttered for something to say so as to avoid any potential ramifications from what could potentially happen as a result of any perceived insults on my part.
I of course couldn't give a single frak whether or not the Imperium ever heard about any of this, but the now scarlet faced servant that was desperately trying to come up with a way to placate me didn't have the luxury of knowing that.
"W-wait! Commissar, I think the governor can make an exception for Gunner after all!" The old man exclaimed, coming to the decisive conclusion that protecting his lord's reputation was far more important than avoiding whatever petty act of revenge the governor would enact upon him for allowing Jurgen to accompany me.
The staff that had bore witness to this little charade looked on at the two of us with awestruck expressions plastered over their faces, a few of them seemingly nodding in respect at how I stuck up from my long time friend of arguably inferior standing. If I wasn't surrounded by well over a dozen of the governor's servants, then I would have laughed at their collective gullibility all the way to our hosts' work chambers.
The room Head Butler led us to was on the third floor of the mansion, its grand windows facing towards the path our transport had taken to the governor's estate which would have given him a spectacular view of every visitor who came in through the front entrance. While the fat, balding, middle-aged man who sat at his wooden desk appeared to be fastidiously examining the sprawling mess of documents spread out in front of him, I had no doubt that he was trying to impress me by playing the part of a hardworking politician. The way he held the particular document he was scrutinizing upside down was a dead give away to his innate ineptitude, and I had to suppress a groan of annoyance knowing what kind of man I was about to deal with.
In my experience, there were an astoundingly number of incompetent and outright malicious politicians and aristocrats running the day to day operations of most planets underneath the Imperium's protection. Whenever the governors overseeing their planet's tithes and safety took their jobs with some modicum of seriousness, a stark contrast to the overwhelming majority who were too focused with the power struggles that plagued most noble houses to care about what they did once their authority was uncontested, at least half of them proved to be madmen enthralled by the gifts offered to them by the Ruinous Powers, Genestealer hybrids, or actively working with hostile xenos in an attempt to curry their favor. Of the few competent rulers I have had the pleasure of meeting, they unfortunately never tended to last long, most succumbing to the homicidal ambitions of their rivals or whatever enemies I was sent to purge.
It was with my expectations justifiably lowered, enough to entertain the idea of shooting the overweight bastard in front of me if I so much as suspected him of possessing an additional appendage somewhere underneath his flamboyantly colored robes, that I managed to feign a smile upon entering his office alongside my aide and the Head Butler.
"Ah, Commissar! What a pleasure it is to finally meet you." He greeted me, discarding the document somewhere into the mess of papers sprawled across his desk, likely to never see the light of day again.
"Frontier Town Governor, I would like to say the same to you." I responded, testing the waters to see if the man was any sharper than he looked.
Upon seeing the man giggle like a child on Sanguinala morning after seeing the presents 'The Emperor' left for him the previous night, I was quite confident the man was indeed as intelligent as he looked. It took of all of my might to suppress my sigh at the thought of working under yet another incompetent fool.
"Oh, you honor me with your words, Commissar!" He exclaimed, his gleeful expression growing sour the moment his eyes fell on Jurgen. "Ah… and that must be the aide I have heard so much about."
"At your service, m'lord." Jurgen said with his usual half-hearted salute in the face of what he had correctly perceived to be a man who was little more than a waste of our time.
"Hmph, at least someone here is capable of acting like a proper servant." The governor said, pointedly glaring at the flustered butler beside me.
Head Butler was quick to insert himself between me and the governor before the fat oaf could say anything both of them would regret. "I beg you for your forgiveness, my lord, but after Commissar informed me that Gunner possessed the same diplomatic authority as he himself does…"
"You mean to tell me this common footman is equal to a demon slayer?!" Frontier Town Governor shouted at his loyal servant in utter disbelief at the elderly man's attempt to act as a voice of reason for him.
"I do believe I told the Guild that it was daemons of all types and strengths, not just demons, that both Jurgen and I have sent screaming back into the Warp." I corrected the governor, trying my best to sound like I had intentionally sought out those monstrous foes instead of accidentally coming across them and vanquishing them solely for the sake of my continued survival.
"And yes, as befitting his position as my aide and personal attendant, Jurgen's word carries as much authority as my own. It would be wise for you to remember that in any of our future dealings." I warned the dimwitted noble, offering him one final chance to rein in his ill-thought insults he directed at Jurgen.
The governor paled at the sudden pressure I put on him as I defended my aide's noble reputation, and I enjoyed every second the fat bastard squirmed in his chair. Unsurprisingly, a man of his caliber was not quite willing to accept defeat so easily despite the obvious benefits such a concession would grant him.
"Surely the status of such a filthy peasant, a common soldier at that, would have no bearing between two kindred spirits who can afford the luxuries of finer living such as ourselves." The governor insisted.
I could not hold myself back any longer after hearing this latest insult the governor had pointed at my aide, slamming both of my hands down on the fine wooden desk in front of the governor which bowed underneath the force of the blow. With the difference between our height made perfectly clear as the man's head was level with my waist as I loomed over him, his eyes suddenly drawn to the worn chainsword dangling from the scabbard on my hip, the governor seemed to have realized his mistake and broke out into a panicked sweat fearing what I might do next.
"That 'filthy peasant' you are referring to is one of the bravest and most efficient soldiers I have had the honor of working with, sir." I barked at the governor as he tried to shrink back into himself to avoid my incensed temper.
Jurgen, whether through a desire to preserve my reputation or not caring about what others thought about him, as was usual, quickly materialized at my side in order to diffuse my anger. The governor visibly recoiled from his colorful bouquet of smells he perpetually gave off, making it just that much easier to hate the cowardly snob.
"Sir, it's okay! I can just-"
"Jurgen, stand down. That is an order." I interrupted, my aide complying with a troubled look on his face.
Without any more distractions, I then turned my attention back to the egotistical prick that had gone out of his way to demean my aide. "I do not know where you got the assumption that your position as the leader of this territory makes you any better than the men and women who live, fight, and die to protect these 'luxuries of finer living' you seem to care so much about, but I am NOT your kindred spirit, governor. Unlike you, I cannot sit idly by as those brave men and women, armies full of them willing to sacrifice everything they can to protect our way of life, are insulted by the likes of foolhardy cowards like yourself that take their generosity for granted."
The governor was still cowering before me, and with my rage finally starting to settle I noticed that I was more than likely outstaying my welcome before his presence. "Jurgen, we're leaving." I ordered him, before staring straight at the manservant beside me while keeping one hand on the hilt of my chainsword in case he felt offended enough to try anything.
"Head Butler, would you be so kind as to escort us to our compatriots? I do believe I have wasted enough time talking when there is work that needs to be done. It would hardly be proper to let the other adventurers shoulder my work for me any longer than they have."
The Head Butler stood there, his face frozen in a mix of terror and respect as he stared at me. Thankfully Jurgen was able to snap the manservant out of his trance once his distinctive aroma assaulted the governor's head of staff in full force.
"Right away, Commissar, sir!" He practically shouted as he snapped to attention not unlike an experienced Guardsman. He took only a single step towards the door before stopping in his tracks and giving me a hesitant look from over his shoulder.
"Are you sure you still wish to participate in this quest, Sir Commissar?" He asked me.
"Yes, I do." I told him, easing into a confident smile that eased some of the tension between us.
"Although it pains me to work under the employment of an aristocrat who fails to acknowledge exactly who it is that allows him to indulge in his life of luxury, I would be remiss to allow any petty grudges I might have allow any xenos or the forces of Chaos to freely plague the people the incompetent governor of this land rules over." I said, honing the malice I felt towards the fat bastard cowering behind me with no small amount of pleasure hidden behind my stone faced expression.
"All of us have a purpose given to us by The Emperor." I continued, deciding to end my rant with one of the useless platitudes that were expected of Him on Terra's finest. "I intend to do everything I can to see that his will is done, and that all of his loyal servants, no matter how undeserving they are of his mercy against the forces of Chaos, are protected to the best of my abilities."
"Very well, Sir Commissar. I will be happy to take you to your comrades." The Head Butler said, giving both me and, surprisingly, my aide a shared look of approval before escorting my aide and I out of the governor's office.
The three of us went to great lengths to ignore the stares of swooning maids and poorly hidden looks of approval the other staff who had overheard our meeting sent my way. I for one pretended as if I didn't notice that there were as many of the governor's staff looking at me with renewed respect as there were those staring at my grime covered aide. He couldn't be bothered to care what any of the various butlers and women of all ages thought of him as they stared at him with renewed purpose, but I couldn't help but to smile knowing that my aide was finally receiving some of the respect he had been rightfully owed from once.
During our descent from the upper floors of the governor's mansion to the storehouse my Silver ranked compatriots had been escorted to, I had been prepared to run for my life at the first signs of trouble after having a moment to think clearly now that my mind wasn't clouded by rage. Disrespecting a small minded aristocrat too ignorant to attribute whatever successes he lorded as his own to the 'peasants' and citizens that lived within the territory was treated no differently than heresy on most planets. Threatening said bastard and damaging what appeared to be an expensive looking desk while humiliating him before his staff could very easily have ended with me needing to flee Frontier Town, or perhaps the entire kingdom itself, depending on the governor's reaction.
My nervousness about such a scenario occurring must have shown, as when Head Buler finally led me and Jurgen to the wreckage my soon to be allies were examining, Witch instantly stopped what she was doing to comment on my ragged looks. For once, I wasn't the charming devil I always aspired to look like, but rather a man unsure whether or not he would live to see tomorrow.
"Did something… happen, Commissar?" The beautiful young woman asked me, careful not to draw anyone else's attention to me.
"Yes, I suppose that is one way of putting it." I confessed, deciding that it would be best to keep anything more to myself. "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with, if you must know."
Thankfully Witch seemed satisfied with my answer, or at least disinclined to press me for an explanation, and turned back to the pile of splintered wood that the other adventurers, over a dozen of the governor's guards who I was pleasantly surprised to see weren't glaring at me with murder in their eyes, and Noble Fencer who was standing idly between both groups.
Putting aside the apparent distrust each group seemed to have for each other for the time being, I brought my attention to the wreckage that my allies were studying in rapt attention. Although I didn't have a clue about what they were discussing before my arrival, I could still at least understand leftover carnage from a battle when I saw it.
What I had first believed to be a pile of discarded timber that had fallen victim to a heavily intoxicated horde of tyranids revealed several metal fixtures and a few shattered spokes from a severely mangled wheel. It was thanks to my familiarity with such wreckage from the many times I had defied the odds and escaped similar-looking wrecks that I was quickly able to identify the battered head of wooden planks and assorted debris before us as the salvaged remains of a carriage.
There was not a single square centimeter of undamaged wood, the majority of the planks appearing to have been either trampled by something incredibly heavy or nearly torn to splinters by some sort of firearm. Some of the carriage's remains were filled full of holes I could have fit several fingers through, which only seemed to support my theory that whoever had caused the carriage's destruction possessed advanced weaponry that this backwater planet should not have been capable of producing. My palms began to tingle as my mind screamed at me for failing to notice why the scars adorning the wood looked so familiar, and before I could think of the reason behind my unease, one of the governor's guards decided now would be the best time to approach me.
"Ah, you must be the bigwig Head Butler kept going on about." A grizzled looking man that radiated an aura of authority said, taking a brief moment to size me up before continuing. "You know, you don't look like someone who's fought a daemon before."
"You're right. There's rarely enough left over of such people to fill a bucket, let alone a casket. Then again, some of my superiors said I might look better that way." I joked, making the assumption that the guard who approached me was the type of man who was more at ease with a fellow soldier than someone who was more well known from their overinflated reputation.
The boisterous laughter the formerly disgruntled looking man gave me proved my assumption to be correct. "So you're a talker and a fighter, eh Commissar? It's a shame there ain't more men like you out in the world."
"If there were more men like me, then I could only imagine how hard it would be for anyone else to find a job doing guard duty or adventuring work." I fired back, the guard slapping my shoulder with a gleeful air about him.
"Hey, knock it off you two. The rest of us are trying to figure out what might have caused this damage." Female Knight chided in our direction.
My aide, as unflappable and unable to read the room as always, quickly gave her an answer. "Looks like this thing was shredded by a couple of heavy bolters." He surmised.
It was upon hearing my aide finally speak that I could finally identify the suspicion that had been gnawing away at the back of my mind. As wood was rarely used in the construction of vehicles or defenses on most planets I visited, rocrete and ceramite being the most common materials I had seen fallen victim to the business end of a bolter or its heavy variant, I never did have much of an opportunity to see what those miniature rocket propelled explosives could do to some lighter material.
If the mangled remains of the carriage were anything to go by, turning wood into a near unrecognizable pile of garbage appeared to be the most likely answer. Not enough for them to splatter the relatively unsturdy timber like they would an unfortunate victim, several scattered remains of which I was now able see were fused to the wood their former riders or guardians stood watch over, but destructive nonetheless.
"What's a bolter?" Spearman suddenly asked.
I was about to decry the spear wielding fool for what appeared to be yet another instance of his unending idiocy, but luckily I took just long enough to think of an insult to notice that everyone assembled in the warehouse, Silver ranked adventurers and the governor's household alike, were looking at me for answer. Quickly deciding it would be best to belittle the blue armored moron at a later date, I gestured for my aide to give an explanation in my place. I didn't throw the responsibility onto him because I couldn't explain what a bolter was, but rather, I felt that his simplistic explanation would be more readily understood than my own, more technical understanding of those powerful weapons.
"It's a big gun that fires big bullets capable of turning most anyone they hit into a nice red stain on the floor, walls, and ceiling." Jurgen said, allowing the crowd to carefully process his words as they considered how much protection their armor would provide against such a weapon.
While not the most accurate description, or one that wouldn't make a cogboy screech in rage at its simplicity, his explanation was at least able to convey his point to our audience. The guards started murmuring in fear hearing about such a weapon, while the adventurers did not look particularly bothered with this knowledge.
"How do you know so much about this gun when none of us have ever heard about it?" One of the guards asked, clearly someone who's intelligence was being wasted if he was smart enough to ask such questions.
"I've seen what bolters are capable of first hand." I told everyone, glumly adding, "From both ends of the barrel."
"Damn, it's a good thing the governor brought you along then." The gruff looking guard who first spoke to me said, quickly putting an end to whatever rumors were milling about what I could only assume to be the men and women under his command from the way they all fell silent when he spoke. "I wouldn't have wanted to be one of the next guys to act as bait for whoever is using those bolters of yours, that's for sure." He continued, my nerves instantly sending my mind into overdrive.
"What do you mean by 'bait'?" I asked him, my palms starting to tingle once again as dread started to fill in the gaps of my imagination with frightening accuracy as it turned out.
"Right, you weren't here when we went over the plan with your party." The hardened soldier sheepishly admitted. "Tomorrow we're planning to split into three teams to lure the bandits that have been attacking merchant caravans around the governor's estate for the past few months."
"I'm surprised that a few bandits were capable of giving soldiers as capable as you any trouble." I mentioned offhandedly.
"You aren't the only one surprised about that, and we're just as pissed as the merchants whose shipments have been lost to them. We haven't so much as seen who's been making fools out of us." The rough looking guard growled.
"Yes, it's amazing that a couple of the governor's personal toy soldiers can't track down a couple of thieves." Female Knight taunted. Her words came as a surprise at me, not that one of the adventurers were stupid enough to say that out loud, but how it wasn't Spearman who had managed to earn the ire of every single guard in the room.
"Maybe if you were more competent- oof!"
"That's enough for now." Heavy Warrior said as he delivered a swift elbow to his partner's ribs, shutting her up just in time before things could get ugly between the adventurers and governor's hired muscle.
The quickly deteriorating sight before me wasn't anything new. In fact, I was surprised that the adventurers and guards didn't look ready to pounce on each other when I first walked into the storeroom they were all gathered in. The Imperial Guard as a whole had a similar rivalry to the Planetary Defense Force of most planets, and for good reason. Most PDF troops were lazy, incompetent, and almost always unreliable due to a large number of internal security breaches when they weren't actively fighting against the regiments I was attached to.
From my limited understanding of the dynamic between Adventurers Guild and the countries it was allowed to operate in, making the assumption that most if not all adventurers were far more competent than even the most experienced town or royal guard was usually correct. There were always exceptions, Warrior and his party instantly coming to mind, but in general, adventurers who actively searched for the well paying threats that most guards weren't paid extra to deal with had an easily visible difference in their work ethic and capabilities.
As if to prove my point, one dimwitted member of the Governor's household decided now would be the perfect time to add her own voice into the chorus of frustrated fools. "Why should we listen to you? We're the ones that are hiring you, so you should be listening to us!" She shouted.
If it had only been Jurgen, the four Silver ranked adventurers, and myself within earshot of that idiotic question, then I wouldn't have hesitated to share my own stories of the local defenders' incompetence with everyone present. Unfortunately the guards we were meant to work with, who I would have claimed to have been too incapable to act as anything more than a glorified deterrent against civil unrest and meat shields until more experienced combatants could arrive to reinforce them, just so happened to be within earshot at the moment Female Knight decided to open her mouth and disrespect them brazenly.
Dreading any future catastrophes that might arise due this incident creating a rift between us and the governor's guards, I quickly fell into routine as a liaison between yet another bunch of hot headed fools before they could cause any more problems for me. I won't hesitate to admit that a bunch of glorified mercenaries weren't exactly comparable to an entire regiment of Guardsmen, but they were just as proud as The Emperor's finest. The Governor's personal guard in front of me, while appearing far more competent than the average platoon of PDF flunkies, were nowhere close to being on the same level of competence as the adventurers. The presence of the Silver ranked quartet alone proved that the Governor's guard were way out of their depth and knew it too.
"Because Heavy Warrior is right. This is not the time for us to be holding petty arguments amongst ourselves when the real enemy is out there, gathering their forces in preparation for another attack." I announced, addressing the entirety of the room who seemed to be enthralled with me for nor reason I could immediately identify. I did allow my gaze to linger on the knightess who dared to escalate tensions between the two groups, and she was quick to lower her visor to hide her blush of embarrassment.
"Without the governor and his loyal guard, we would have never known about the crisis the people are facing whose livelihoods and survival will depend on our success, just like how the experience the adventurers with me possess in regards to dealing with bandits." I continued. "We would do well to remember that each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses that our recently introduced counterparts can compliment. I am sure that we will have nothing to worry about so long as we rely on each other like any effective combat force would."
"Right you are, Commissar." The apparent leader of the governor's guard said, turning to the troops under his command. "Now get your asses to your bunks now you lot! We've got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow and I don't want to see any of you nodding off because you all were too high on yourselves to even think about working with these adventurer's here or because you grunts were too busy ogling them instead. Hire those ladies yourselves if you're that interested in them."
Witch and Female Knight both raised an eyebrow at that last part, their respective partners doing their best to keep a straight face and failing miserably. Spearman was more than likely going to be subject to Witch's immediate wrath once they were finally alone, while Female Knight remained blissfully unaware of Heavy Warrior's knowing smirk or affectionate yet slightly lecherous gaze. I honestly couldn't tell what was going through that man's mind, this was the first time he hadn't broken into laughter after dropping his usual stern façade and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know either.
"Come on, you heard me. Get your asses moving now!" The gruff soldier shouted, the fury behind his voice reminiscent of an irate drill instructor which was likely the deciding factor that made the dozen guards vacate the room in record time.
"Well, that could have gone better." He grumbled now that it was just him alongside me and the other adventurers the governor hired.
"It also could have gone much worse." I supplied, letting out a groan just remembering one of those petty rivalries and chaos it created which my newfound acquaintance echoed, no doubt recalling his own misadventures as well.
"Perhaps. Perhaps." The guard conceded, failing to fool even himself as he attempted to look dignified again. "Anyways, it's best that we all get some rest so we are ready for whatever bandits we find tomorrow. I'll be sure to include you when we establish the teams, Commissar."
"Why me?" I asked him.
"Because between you and me, right now you're the only other person I trust in this mess to get shit done." He admitted in hushed tones. "I like adventurers such as yourself as much as the next guy, but I would rather not have to be the one to deal with a party of greedy louts I can hardly trust. Those adventurers would probably cooperate with me more if they think one of their own had a say in how we divide ourselves, not that I expect them to be much help when the actual fighting starts."
"Good point." I said upon finally deciding it would be best not to mention how much more experience the adventurers likely possessed in this area than his subordinates.
With nothing else for any of us to say to each other, the Silver ranked adventurers, the guard who I was planning to liaison with in the future, Jurgen, and myself all went to our private rooms to enjoy ourselves before our quest tomorrow. If I had known what was out there in the forest surrounding Frontier Town Governor's estate then as I do now, then I would have found every excuse I could to have stayed in the governor's private quarters and waited for the others to complete the quest without me.
Author's Corner:
In an unexpected turn of events, Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, is faced with an unknown foe using weaponry only he is familiar with. Who is his enemy, and what will The Emperor's Finest Commissar do to wipe them out?
Also, I have an announcement to make. I would like to take a moment and welcome Vixal the Beta Reader for this chapter and hopefully many more to come!
Beebaidiboo: (Can't be arsed to rewrite this magnificent review in its entirety.)
You can copy-paste on FF by changing the www in the address to m then you can copy-paste. I use Windows 10 so I don't know if it works for other computers but try it out, no harm, and a really convenient thing if it works on your device. I put in the m copy pastable version and the www version you're probably using right now.
Oh, I know. You underestimate my laziness. Also, I prefer keeping the comment section as small as possible, hence why I occasionally trim a few longer comments or make up an excuse about why I won't do it. I might have my moments of complete and utter stupidity, but I will never forget CTRL+C, CTRL+V.
"Guest": "porno slate in each hand" I don't want to think about how this is working.
As much as I want to give my own theory, I think whatever everyone else is imagining is a lot better.
"Oc": Ya know I hope that either vampire or demon devours Ferik Jurgen and even Cain because these 2 are really starting to annoy me.
You're the kind of person to complain about finding bacon in your BLT, aren't you?
Jokes aside, as indicated by the summary and first chapter, this story is centered around Cain's retelling of his own adventures. If arguably spineless cowards who blunder their way into success are something you hate, especially when they are damn well aware of their Ultramarine levels of plot armor, then I strongly recommend dropping this story. If you do like characters who live by the Bavarian Fire Drill, then you will love what will be coming in the future.
Thanks again for sticking with me as long as you have, and I hope to see you all again in the future!
