We travelled the last klom of our journey on foot, under what little cover the dwindling mix of sunlight and darkness the far off sunset provided us. According to Goblin Slayer, the vile little greenskins are nocturnal and far too lazy to maintain a proper patrol at this hour, so while it went against my better judgment, I led my malodorous aide and meek Priestess alongside the grimy adventurer until we finally reached the foot of the abnormally large tree our enemies were using as their base of operations.

Instead of taking the front entrance and likely encountering more goblins than the four of us could handle, we looked around the natural bulwark the thick oaken walls provided for any alternative points of entry we could use. It only took us a couple of minutes, but we eventually found what we sought.

"Think this will lead us inside?" Jurgen called out to us in hushed tones as he directed our attention to a rotted hole that looked just large enough for a person to crawl through.

"It will have to do." Goblin Slayer said before I could suggest finding another way in. "It won't be long until the nest wakes up. We need to get in fast, find the captives, and leave so we can burn all the goblins alive before they know we are here."

Sure enough, when he put it like that, taking the risk of stumbling through a diseased hole in the wall didn't sound half bad. It was certainly better than challenging an entire horde of goblins with merely four people, something only a bunch of complete and utter madmen or idiots would dare attempt regardless of the circumstances. Now, as much as I wanted to point out that it was incredibly unlikely that we were not going to run into any complications between our silent entrance and harrowing exit, Goblin Slayer seemed competent enough to know nothing ever went exactly as planned. For all the problems that grox-headed idiot had, overestimating the enemy and his own capabilities were not among them.

"Do I need to… mask my scent again, Goblin Slayer?" Priestess asked with a shiver.

I wondered what she was going on about for a brief moment until I recalled how the goblin slaying expert mentioned how sensitive the Chaos-tainted greenskin's enormous noses were, apparently to the point of being able to locate a young woman from dozens of meters away from smell alone. I didn't question the expert on all things goblins as I possessed minimal information on our enemies myself, especially since I wasn't the one that had been soaked in liquified goblin innards during the last quest I accompanied the two adventurers on.

Luckily for the young girl, Goblin Slayer had something else in mind for her, and I had a sneaking suspicion as to what it might be when I recalled how he insisted on Jurgen and Priestess sticking together. "Jurgen should be able to mask your scent if you stay close to him. His scent might be enough to keep us all hidden until we find the goblins' captives." He told her.

I also noticed the unspoken part about how I apparently didn't need to mask any natural odors I would have given off. Either goblins didn't notice or care about a more masculine musk, or I was in desperate need of a new, stronger body soap once we were finished with the quest.

With the lovely thought that my aide's natural aroma might have rubbed off on me after spending so much time at my side fresh in my mind, I offered to take point and lead our squad into the bowels of the occupied fortress so as to put a little distance between me and Jurgen's repugnant musk. It was a tight fit, my larger frame barely allowing me to squeeze through the several meter long tunnel of rotted timbers I needed to negotiate through, but I eventually ended up in a pitch black tunnel somewhere near the outer wall of the massive natural fortress.

Although there was no light of any sort to help me survey my surroundings, my old underhiver's senses flared to life and helped me get my bearings on my immediate environment with far more effectiveness than any torch or luminator could. Unable to find any immediate threats aside from whatever splinters had embedded themselves in my great coat, I kept my laspistol drawn as I signaled down the tunnel for the others to follow. Once Jurgen and the adventurers had finally joined me, Goblin Slayer tried his best to get a feel for where we were.

I knew he had some experience in navigating dark environments given his performance on the other two quests I accompanied him on, but whatever talent he had acquired was not honed to nearly the same fine edge that my childhood had given me before my induction into the Commissariat. Still, as he was the official leader of our party and resident expert on all things goblins, I allowed him to make the final call on where we should go while preparing to offer any insights I could offer.

"Hmm… far too clean for the goblins to use this area regularly. We'll need to head towards the entrance and look for their most active trails." Goblin Slayer announced, coming to the same conclusion as me.

It wasn't the first choice of action, since burning the entire place down with Jurgen's melta and toasting some marshmallows to the greenskin's dying screams wasn't an option, but as it was the next best one it would simply have to do. We maintained our previous arrangement as we proceeded through the darkened tunnels, Goblin Slayer and I taking turns pointing out and removing the few traps we spotted through the shadowy gloom so Jurgen and Priestess wouldn't need our help stepping around them. Travel through the depths of the grand tree was slow, but if we had gone any faster we would have not only risked injury at the hands of one of the primitive traps the goblins set up but also been in danger of stumbling into a patrol of the xenos themselves.

Speaking of which, the one patrol we did come across would have made the average blood drunk psychopath of Khorne look well disciplined by comparison, the trio of small greenskins more focused on stealing the small morsel of meat between them than searching for any possible intruders. I shared a look with Goblin Slayer and my aide, each of us taking a position beside each other and picking a target so as to eliminate each one of the dastardly little monsters at the same time. The goblins Jurgen and I fired at lost their heads in a shower of gore that covered the meat they had been fighting over in their own ichor, while the adventurer managed to eliminate his own with a well aimed throwing knife.

"Well, that's them taken care of." I sighed in relief once it became clear that the lasbolts we had fired earlier hadn't attracted any unwanted attention.

"Nice throw, Goblin Slayer." I then added once I walked up to inspect the corpses we had created, the knife planted in his target's throat impressing me by no small amount. "How did you manage to hit such a small target?"

"Practice." He grunted as he inspected the item the goblins had been fighting for, one that none of them would be able to claim for themselves now.

"Hmm… looks like we were too late after all." Goblin Slayer said, retrieving his knife and throwing the goblin's prize away in disgust.

For a moment, I wondered how he had come to that conclusion so quickly. It was only as I gave the half-eaten piece of meat he discarded a closer look that I noticed a clod of dirty blonde hair still clinging onto it tightly. I half-heartedly muttered a prayer to The Emperor under my breath alongside Priestess's own words for the departed, although without any of her disgusted gagging.

"Little buggers." My aide cursed, swapping his lasgun for the melta as he did so.

"Well, it looks like there's no reason to waste any more time searching for survivors." I mentioned to the group, believing that if these depraved Chaos-tainted goblins had no need for any female captives then there was certainly no hope for any men that might have been among them. "Let's get the frak out of here before-"

Before I could finish, a faint scream echoed through the wooden halls. It was a distant, desperate cry for help that was unmistakably human in origin, much to my horror. Apparently the goblins must have had a few more captives than they knew what to do with, hence why they were more than eager to devour one of them.

A roar of laughter followed, one that was made up of far too many sadistic voices to count and far louder than their victim's tortured scream. Priestess' staff rattled violently at the sound of something so horrible, as did my hands knowing that we would have to not only rescue the goblins' victim, but also fend off all of the murderous xenos we had just heard. Thankfully neither her, Jurgen, nor Goblin Slayer noticed my apprehension at our coming encounter. If anything, the two like-minded men by my side seemed far too eager to fight off a horde of greenskins for my liking.

"Sounds like we aren't too late for one of them." My aide said, pointing out the obvious as he flicked the safety off of his melta.

Goblin Slayer nodded in agreement. "Yes, but we'll have to act quickly. That roar sounded like it came from a Goblin Champion."

Believing that this so called 'champion' amongst goblins was not much more dangerous than the standard waist high variety of greenskin native to this planet, an assertion I would soon find to be disproven in the most horrific way possible, I unsheathed my chainsword and pointed in the direction I heard the scream come from earlier.

"This way! We have no time to waste!" I called out, doing my best to sound as commanding as possible so as to hide the bowel clenching terror I felt.

The inspirational pose I struck had been enough to convince Jurgen and Priestess to follow my lead, although it did little to help the latter match the pace I initially set for us. The girl was still inexperienced and as such, had some difficulties keeping up with the rest of us who were used to running for our lives on a far too regular basis. The darkness wasn't a problem any more as the closer we proceeded to the origin of the scream, the more moonlight we had to guide our footsteps. Thus we could easily avoid the pathetic few traps that had been set out for any brainless adventurers too gullible to suspect a corpse gnawed down to the bone attached to enough garbage to wake up everything within a klom of it.

Surprisingly, Goblin Slayer fell in line behind me without a word. I half expected him to protest or try and take the lead from me. In fact, I would have much preferred if he would have done so since it meant that he would have been the first one to have run into any danger that we came across. The filthy adventurer must have noticed the sideways look I gave him, because he actually gave me an answer to my unspoken question without threatening him this time.

"You were doing better navigating in the dark than me." He said, a statement I unfortunately had to agree with.

I had been so lost in my determination to avoid running into any traps and goblins that I didn't notice we had reached our intended destination moments before running into the middle of at least a hundred goblins of various sizes. All four of us managed to come to a halt just outside of the large courtyard-like area the tree's previous inhabitants must have cultivated inside their home before abandoning it. The grassy opening held far, far too many hostiles for all of us to handle and had a range of goblin varieties from the common type that were as small as a snottling to almost a dozen others that could stare an ork in the eye. Those few were bad enough, but they were not the most dangerous foe that I had spotted. No, that belonged to the only goblin present that seemed worthy of being called a champion amongst its kind.

The massive brute was as big and muscle-clad as an Ork Nob at the very least, no doubt wielding just as much strength as one of its distant cousins too. I observed the same tell-tale signs of daemonic corruption in it that I had witnessed in the rest of its kindred, those being the grox-like eyes and enormous nose it possessed, but couldn't help but notice how this particular goblin lacked the reckless nature that I would have expected from the brute. From the throne it had cobbled together out of bones and branches at the back of the courtyard, it looked far less wild and savage than the rest of its vile kin. Even the merciless smile that creeped out between its lips suggested a malevolent intelligence, and I use that term very loosely given the idiotic greenskins I had encountered up until this point in my career, that the rest of its kind lacked.

That smile was directed at the 'entertainment' that its underlings were taking part in at the very center of the goblin's gathering place. The brightest and perhaps most fortunate of the bunch was a woman tied to a pyre who had thankfully been spared a worse fate than those of her companions. The one beside her was presumably an archer, given the various number of arrows embedded in her half eaten corpse alongside the spiteful nature of goblins that I had observed so far. Her hair was black rather than blonde, meaning that there had been at least one other woman who had met their end with the goblins inhabiting this tree.

That left one last woman who was clearly the main attraction of the xenos' celebration tonight. Her cries were muffled thanks to the swarm of greenskins all trying to have a turn with her naked body as she struggled against her attackers. It didn't take much of an imagination to figure out what a bunch of Slaaneshi worshiping heretics were doing to that poor girl, something everyone in my party was able to quickly deduce.

"Permission to throw out a frag grenade, sir?" Jurgen requested from between clenched teeth as he watched the depraved festivities before us.

"We'll need to wait until we rescue the girl, but keep one primed for afterwards." I told him as I fought back my own disgust. "I think that will be a fitting consolation prize for those greenskins once we make our escape."

"Priestess." I snapped, bringing the girl out of whatever prayer she was in the middle of and back to the situation at hand. "You still have three miracles you can use today, right?"

"Y-yes, Cain." She stammered bravely despite her obvious terror. "I also have a new miracle to use called 'Barrier'."

"Good, that should make our getaway that much easier." I told her.

"Do you have something in mind, Commissar Cain?" Goblin Slayer asked me, seemingly unaffected by everything he had seen so far.

"Yes, I do." I replied. "What do you think our odds of rescuing that girl from the goblins are if Priestess uses one of her miracles to blind them all while we run out and get the frak out of here, before we end up like her friends?"

To my surprise, Goblin Slayer actually gave my 'plan' of running in and out as fast as our legs could take us some genuine consideration. "That's the best thing I can think of too."

"Though not without setting the fortress on fire as we leave." He added.

"Who says we can't do that too?" I suggested. "Rescuing that girl will seriously hack off these greenskins and their boss. I can't imagine big and ugly over there will let us go without a chase. Priestess, think you could seal up the way we came in after setting the tree on fire around us?"

"I think I can." She told me.

"And I know you can." I lied.

If our entire survival hinged on her being able to prevent an entire WAAAGH's worth of goblins from running us down after we escape, then I did not want to do anything that might make her too nervous to focus properly and send us to an early grave, the immediate result being her left with only the goblins for company. There were too many things that could go wrong and I still would have rather we wrote off the girl we came to rescue as a lost cause and cut our losses while we could, but unfortunately for me, I had a reputation to uphold. As nice as it was to enjoy the benefits of free room and board, the downsides of having people expect you to act like a hero sometimes didn't make the perks worth it. This was undeniably one such occasion.

I don't know how or why Goblin Slayer would even consider rescuing her since the only reason I could see him doing so, aside from living up to a title that was clearly an insult, would be his own self-satisfaction as our payment for this quest damn well wasn't worth the risk. Maybe he was crazy, maybe he had a personal grudge he wanted to settle. I didn't give a frak. He didn't argue against me and hadn't managed to get himself or any of us killed yet. That more than I could say for over half of the people I've served with during my career and good enough for me.

Not wanting to waste any more time than we already had and fearing that it was only a matter of time until we were discovered, I prepared our party for action. "We'll go out there on three. Priestess, make sure you stay beside Jurgen while he lays down covering fire as Goblin Slayer and I rescue the girl. Goblin Slayer, since I have the better weapons and can keep the goblins off of us from a range, you'll grab the girl. Any objections?" I whispered to them.

All three of them shook their heads, leaving only one thing left to do before everything went to the Warp.

"One… two… THREE!" I shouted, before letting out a cry of WAAAGH to mask my own terror at having to do something so suicidally stupid for someone I didn't even know.

For a brief moment, I thought I had just managed to finally get myself killed. Priestess didn't blind the goblins immediately like I had expected her to and Goblin Slayer didn't leap out from cover alongside me, meaning I had over a hundred goblins who just had their entertainment interrupted staring at me in a mix of confusion and rage. I hardly had enough time to pay attention to any of them, as my focus was directed squarely at the champion who laughed so loud that I could feel my bones shake at every one of his guttural chuckles.

In that instant, I remembered something I had neglected up until that moment. I had left Jurgen, who's innate talents as a blank disrupted all psyker activity, beside Priestess, whose actions my entire plan hinged on. I swear I felt the chill of death wash over me as for a brief moment, I thought I had frakked myself by forgetting something so important.

It was then, just as my heart threatened to jump out of my throat, that I heard the voice of my savior ring out while the goblins closest to me managed to find their weapons and started charging towards me.

"O Earth Mother, abounding in mercy, grant your sacred light to we who are lost in darkness!"

That absurd little prayer that Priestess shouted out soon spawned a brilliant light from behind me that worked far better than I could have ever imagined it would. Every single goblin that had been staring in my direction screamed out in pain as they were blinded by the miniature sun that spat out its searing rays from where I had leapt out. I paused for a moment in absolute relief that I had not just rushed to my death doing something so stupid that Jenit Sulla would have been proud of me, but was soon spurred into action by the sound of my aide's lasgun firing off shots and the sound of footsteps following behind me.

"Nice distraction." Goblin Slayer called out as he passed me.

I couldn't even bother to play that off as something I had planned as I was too busy hacking apart the goblins that blocked the way to their captive, as was Goblin Slayer alongside me. While we could have just ran in and grabbed the girl without dealing with them, we would have been completely surrounded by the time they recovered.

Even now, a few of the goblins were starting to recuperate from their momentary blindness. Thankfully, none of them happened to be those closest to me and Goblin Slayer. Before long, there was nothing standing between us and the woman we intended to rescue aside from a handful of goblins who were still too occupied with her to even tell they were under attack.

Lacking a weapon that could dispose of them safely without harming the captive, I stayed behind to keep the path back to our allies open as I allowed Goblin Slayer to take the riskier task of carrying the captured woman by himself. I had to trust that he would get the job done or, at the very least, his dying screams would be loud enough for me to know when to abandon him. I didn't trust him to get the job done or perish loudly because I wanted to, rather I was too focused on the quartet of large goblins that tried to cut us off from our allies to risk looking in his direction unless I wanted to pay for that luxury with my life.

The Ork sized goblins, Hobgoblins if I remember their name correctly, did not look nearly as strong as their distant relatives but still looked strong enough to cleave me in half with a single swing if I failed to parry their massive swords. Jurgen was unable to assist me as he was too busy keeping the small fry off of Goblin Slayer and I, while also protecting himself and Priestess, meaning that I was on my own for the time being.

For as intimidating as their appearances were, the hobgoblins were not nearly as threatening as they looked. I dispatched the first one that tried to crush me underneath the weight of their sword by quickly sidestepping its downward swing and cleaving its head off with a single stroke, lining up a shot on the two hobs behind it. One of them dropped down dead with a steaming stump where its head used to be while the other absorbed the lasbolts in its thick layers of fat, the wounds I caused looking only superficial on its body despite having blown off enough flesh to kill most any other creature.

The wounded survivor and the other hobgoblin were smart enough to coordinate their attacks so as to avoid being culled like a bunch of mindless hormagaunts that strayed too far from the nearest synapse tyranid. They did their best to stay on either side and attack me from just outside of my vision, and if it hadn't been for my decades of experience fighting against stronger and better opponents, then I'm sure they would have cut me down in mere moments. Instead, I weathered their relentless assault by parrying the vast majority of their attacks, only evading the few that I knew I could easily dodge since it would put me at risk of being pressured by the other hob. Our little dance of death lasted far longer than I had intended it to, similarly to how the durability of their primitive weapons couldn't outlast the abuse my chainsword put them through.

It was nothing more than sheer luck that allowed me to tear through a coordinated attack from both of the hobgoblins that left their two swords broken at my feet. The goblins had just enough time to gape at the shattered blades in their hands before I disemboweled the first one and cleaved the last remaining hobgoblin in half from shoulder to waist in one fluid motion.

I wanted to take a moment to savor my victory, but felt my palms tingle at the same moment an unnatural shadow loomed over me. I leapt to my side without thinking and just in time, as a massive great club larger and heavier than my entire body crashed into the ground where I had been standing mere moments earlier. Holding it was the three and a half meter tall goblin champion I had spotted earlier glaring at me in rage. The xenos monstrosity let out a bellowing roar as it raised its weapon off the ground and pointed its free hand straight at my chest, gibbering what I could only imagine was the foulest curse it could imagine in its own primitive tongue.

If I were the hero I claimed myself to be, I would have answered the obvious challenge it laid out for me. As I was a scoundrel in body, mind, and soul, I instead shot it in the foot and ran as fast as I could towards Jurgen and Priestess while the champion hopped around in pain.

I barely had enough time to turn around before a wave of the smaller goblins pounced on me, which would have certainly meant certain doom if I hadn't noticed them just in time to backpedal towards the injured goblin champion, who was still too busy nursing the hole I blasted in its foot to pay any attention to me. Sparing a glance to my companions, I saw Goblin Slayer carrying the goblins' captive over his shoulders as he ran by them. Jurgen and Priestess were both waiting for me to somehow fight my way through the dozens of goblins between them and myself, and it was then that I knew I had only one chance of survival.

"Jurgen, frag them and leave me!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. "I'll find my own way out. Don't wait for me!"

I didn't have any idea of how I would manage to escape from the nest full of goblins that were focused solely on me or where I would run to if I ever managed to clear out enough of them to make my escape, but that hardly mattered at the moment. The way I saw it, I had a choice between unavoidable death and probable death. As dangerous as it was to have Jurgen throw a high powered explosive in my direction and leave me to my own devices, it was a far better alternative than letting the goblins have their way with me, especially if I was wrong about them only wanting to take female captives.

My aide didn't argue, and in fact seemed to know exactly what I was planning. "We'll meet you outside with some marshmallows, sir." He yelled before chucking a grenade directly in the middle of the goblin horde that was moments away from overwhelming me with sheer numbers.

I didn't even have enough time to think about how I was going to capitalize on the chaos its detonation would cause, as a cloud of shrapnel tore the majority of the goblins apart before they could do the same to me. Now, with the odds leaning a little more in my favor, but not nearly as much as I would have liked them to, I muttered one last prayer to Him on Terra before thumbing my chainswords activator to the highest setting and making the most of the opportunity Jurgen left me with.


Special thanks to Tireless Traveler for beta reading this chapter!


Author's Corner:

Well damn, this is now my most popular story. Never would have thought what originally started out as a side project would end up being my most popular one. I don't know what else to say here but uh… well, thank you all for being as awesome as you are.

Anyways, how about that unexpected goblin champion appearance? For as much as they are built up in GS, they are little more than extra strong goblins. By W40K standards… a goblin champion is still fodder. Whether or not Cain's battle with it plays out like that is something you'll have to wait and see.


Comments:

Strong-bot: you have to admit cain's optimism is resounding since he doesn't expect everything to always go horribly wrong.

Yes, there's so much optimism here you can taste it. Amazing how much it tastes like sarcasm.

Celestia's Paladin: Well... First thing I can say is that this reads like a Ciaphas Cain story, though I am disappointed by the lack of footnotes and Amberly snark. Second, good job at incorporating him and Jurgen into the story. They fit so well.

I wanted to include some footnotes from Amberley into the story, but since there is no really good way to do so without breaking the flow of the story I ultimately decided against it. That, and I don't think I can do her usual snark justice.

drbakeracho: Holy fuck Goblin Slayer being deathly afraid of the Trukk is super cute wtf.

Seeing as how Goblin Slayer hates leaving things to chance and Jurgen's driving style is best summarized as 'Emperor take the wheel', I figured a certain High Elf's kick wouldn't be the only thing he is terrified of. Speaking of which…

Shadyxlr: Loved the chapter! Wonder how Cain will react to Goblin Slayers other companions once they show up.

Angel lara451:I can't wait for more of this wacky adventure and see how Ciaphas character grows as well as the others.

When this does happen, there will definitely be some interesting moments since the Imperium isn't exactly the most welcoming of other races, not to mention Cain's own personal experiences with them.


As always, thanks for reading and I hope to see you all again in the future!