Our journey took longer than initially expected, largely thanks to the extra hour it took us to wash out the inside of the Trukk after the Eldar couldn't hold in her breakfast. After that loathsome delay, the rest of our journey went by smoothly in comparison. The squat and lizard abhuman, who had taken the titles of Dwarf Shaman and Lizardman Priest respectively as I had found out during our trip, made for good conversation. The squat especially was pleasant to talk to, as I found our tastes in good women, wine, and food were almost identical, although less for the former. The Eldar, High Elf Archer as she apparently titled herself, was a lot quieter after our sanitary pitstop, likely due to her embarrassment for causing it and desire to avoid creating another incident. She offered the occasional rebuttal to some of Dwarf Shaman's more outlandish comments and stories, but generally kept herself well behaved, a stark comparison to the excitable and unpredictable xenos I had initially assumed her to be.
Sadly, our quest couldn't solely involve us coming to learn a little bit about each other and swapping wildly embellished stories about our pasts. When the sun started to creep below the horizon with only a few sparse kloms to go until we reached our primary target, an abandoned ruin the goblins seemed to have turned into their nest, we all agreed to set up camp for the night once Jurgen found a suitable place to park. After we had all recovered from my aide's inexplicable ability to stop a vehicle with the same weight and maneuverability of a tank on a dime, we all stumbled outside and divided tasks amongst ourselves. Jurgen and I took the responsibility of establishing the main camping area first as we were the only two who didn't need a few minutes to recover from the ride that had proved to be relatively smooth compared to most of my aide's trips, to mention nothing about how we were the only two among us who knew how to set up our tents or even brought some along in the first place.
The odd trio of adventurers were assigned the responsibility of gathering enough firewood to last us the night, as well as scrounging up whatever edible natural resources they managed to come across. The later part was something the Eldar declared she would do despite no one asking her to, likely in an attempt to save face for earlier. Neither Jurgen nor I had any intent to take part in whatever morsels she brought unless we were able to identify them ourselves, as we were not willing to trust a xenos to feed us anything we weren't certain wouldn't poison us. That left Goblin Slayer and Priestess in charge of keeping a watch over Jurgen and I as we set up camp in addition to handling whatever meal preparations they could manage until the abhumans and xenos got a fire started.
By the time it was nightfall, we were all gleefully tearing into the rations Jurgen had managed to acquire in preparation for such an occasion. I don't know where he got the majority of the dried meats, bread, or amasec we ended up enjoying, but based on the taste alone, I had a sneaking suspicion that the padfoot girl that always made an effort to spend a little time with him each day back in the Adventurer's Guild had a hand in it. I had only tasted her cooking a few times, and while nothing exceptionally remarkable, it was leagues more palatable than the heavily salted foodstuffs most street vendors sold and included many of the same seasonings as well.
Whether or not Jurgen noticed, I couldn't say. Considering he tore into it with the same ravenous vigor he always did, I would have been surprised if he never tasted anything at all. That didn't mean I wouldn't be putting in a good word for him with Padfoot Waitress though. If that is what I needed to do to never walk in on him with a porno slate in each hand ever again, then so be it.
As our lively little group finished up with the majority of the supplies we had prepared for our small feast that night, an unexpected conversation soon came up. It was the Eldar who unsurprisingly couldn't keep her mouth shut, but I must admit, the topic she had brought up was intriguing enough to keep me from tuning it out.
"So, what made all of you want to be adventurers?" She asked us as we all sat by the fireplace lacking anything better to do.
"To sample the world's great cuisine, of course!" Dwarf Shaman exclaimed with a jovial laugh before locking his eyes on one of the skewers of meat Lizard Priest started cooking by the fire a few minutes ago. "Speaking of which, do you mind…?"
"Not at all. Food tastes better when shared amongst friends." The scaled abhuman hissed in approval.
"Couldn't you just do that without adventuring in between?" I asked the squat, curious to see if he was just taking the frak with us as he picked up a skewer of meat and carefully inspected it.
"How else do you think I can pay to stay this well-rounded?" He replied, patting his stomach before turning to face the Eldar. "What about you, long ears?"
The xenos woman let out a smug laugh as she answered. "I was eager to see the outside world and-"
"This is delicious!" Dwarf Shaman interrupted with a gleeful shout. "What kind of meat is this?"
"Listen when I'm talking, will you!?" The Eldar roared back, her cheeks already growing red with anger at the slight committed against her.
"It is the meat of a swamp creature." Lizard Priest informed us.
"Would you mind if we were to try a little bit too?" I asked, unable to hold back my curiosity as Dwarf Shaman started tearing into the small morsels with a renewed vigor.
The abhuman nodded his approval and both me and my aide grabbed a skewer of meat for each of us as the Eldar sighed in resignation at having been ignored once again. Priestess tried to comfort her with a pat on the back, an act that made the xenos look even more like the spoiled child her small build and immature behavior painted her as.
"Swamp creature?" She asked, grimacing as she made the unfortunate mistake of watching my aide messily tear into his food, something I had long since learned to avoid in order to preserve my own appetite.
"Whatever it is, it tastes amazing." I said as I stuffed a bite into my mouth and savored the exotic seasonings on the tough piece of meat. "I never pegged you as a chef, Lizard Priest."
"Please, this much is nothing." The abhuman said in an attempt to brush off my compliment, but the audible swishing of his tail proved just how much he appreciated the recognition. "I only used spices not common to this place to enhance the flavor."
"Well, whatever you did to this, you have to share your recipe with me. I would love to be able to enjoy this again sometime." I told him, knowing Jurgen would be more than capable of replicating it.
"Not going to try any?" My aide spoke up, a few flecks of food flying out of his mouth and towards the Eldar.
"No, I'm good…" She said, cringing as she scooted away from the shrapnel expelled from my aide's mouth.
"Bah, that would-be rabbit can't appreciate the virtues of a hearty meal. I mean, just look at her!" He laughed.
The skinny Eldar girl wilted a little underneath her companion's comments, but Priestess was quick to offer some comfort as she passed over the bowl of soup she had made herself. "You can have a little of this if you would like." She said with a smile.
"Oh, don't mind if I do!" The xenos said as she happily accepted the gift presented to her, her sulky behavior vanishing in an instant at this simple act of kindness.
"It's a simple soup I learned to make at the temple with some dried beans." Priestess explained as the Eldar raised a spoonful to her mouth.
"Ahh, what a fine flavor!" She sighed in happiness.
"What about you, Scaly? Why did you want to become an adventurer?" I asked in an attempt to keep our previous conversation going.
"I, for one, wished to root out heresy and gain stature until I become a naga where I can stand tall amongst my ancestors." He explained, earning a nod of approval from Jurgen to my complete lack of surprise.
Of course, leave it for me to find an abhuman with the same virtues as a standard Guardsman. If this wasn't a sign that there was some greater power in the universe messing with me, then I don't know what was.
"O-oh, a religious motive." Priestess spoke up as she took back her soup once the Eldar had finished trying a few spoonfuls. "I'm the same."
And this was the first time I was hearing about that. I made a mental note to ask her more about why she became an adventurer later when we weren't amongst such strange company.
"Well, we already know why you two became adventurers." Dwarf Shaman said as he pointed a thumb in Jurgen and I's direction before turning to face the only one of us who hadn't spoken yet. "What about you, Beard Cutter?"
The armored adventurer seemed to give the question some genuine thought, not that he was fooling anyone with why he became an adventurer with a name like his. The once jovial air seemed to darken just a little as we all awaited his inevitable answer.
"I wanted to slay-"
"Yeah, I think I can guess." The Eldar interrupted, already tired of his antics.
The xenos let out a sigh as she reached into the bag she set beside her previously and pulled out a small little pastry that, despite my apprehension of trying due to its xenos origin, smelled absolutely delightful and faintly nutty.
"Well, if the two of you are sharing your food then never let it be said that I wasn't willing to do the same." She said as she passed around one of the biscuit-like foodstuffs to each of us.
We all took one, save for Jurgen who likely didn't want to potentially contaminate himself with whatever she was offering us, but I still took one despite my own opinions on the matter. If the girl wanted to poison us all, then I doubted she would have acted so boldly as to try getting all of us at once.
Of course, if she was, I knew exactly where I'd placed my antidote and had my laspistol's safety turned off ever since I entered the Trukk with her, so I had little to worry about if I was wrong.
"Oh!" Priestess gasped in joy as she took the first bite for us all. "Delicious!"
Hearing what sounded like unconditional approval from the child amongst us, I took a nibble out of my own and found myself enjoying it despite my reservations. The bread the xenos offered us was crunchy on the outside while remaining soft, almost mouth meltingly fluffy in the center. That slight nuttiness I had smelled earlier exploded into an almost overwhelming sensation of flavor that, while unusual, was exceptionally delectable. If only all xenos cuisine could be that good. I've tried a few Tau delicacies back on Gravalax and, well, the less said about them and the subsequent night I spent commandeering the nearest latrine, the better.
"I'm glad you all like them." The Eldar said, blushing ever so slightly as she saw us all enjoying ourselves. "It's an elf traveling ration. We're not supposed to share them with outsiders, but today's special."
The squat, unwilling to be outdone by the xenos, pulled out the jar I had seen him trying his best to hide for a while now. Knowing his kind's love of amasec, it took all of my self-restraint to sit still as I waited for him to open up his offering to the rest of us.
"Elf treats, is it? Well, I'd better share this then…" He said, pulling the top off of the jar and filling the air with an aroma of alcohol that was strong enough to overpower Jurgen's natural musk, if only for a moment. "Dwarven Fire Wine!"
"Fire Wine?" The Eldar asked, apparently having never heard of this particular drink before and unable to hide her curiosity unlike myself.
"Indeed! Surely, long ears, you're not such a child that you've never had wine before?" He asked jokingly.
Much to my amusement, the xenos became flustered at the unintentional accusation. It seems the squat knew more about his companion than either of them realized.
"Don't patronize me! Wine's just a bunch of grapes… right?" She shouted, her boisterous tone slowly fading into uncertainty as the squat handed her a ladleful of what I could only assume to be one of, if not the, strongest amasec currently on the planet.
She was an obvious lightweight, and seeing that the xenos needed a little more motivation, I felt it was my duty as a loyal citizen of the Imperium to spur her into making what would surely be a mistake she would never forget.
"If you're not going to drink that," I said, reaching out to snatch the small mouthful of amasec she was still scrutinizing, "Then I would be happy to relieve you of-"
Before I could finish, the Eldar downed what little drink was offered to her in a single gulp. The effects of the amasec were almost instantaneous as she sputtered out what I could only assume to be a muted plea for help, her face growing crimson before she fell back in a drunken stupor. The squat roared in laughter, while Jurgen and I kept our snickering to ourselves.
"That went about as well as I expected." I remarked as I watched Priestess try to tend to the Eldar woman before she either passed out from going past her limit or in an attempt to ease her inevitable hangover.
"Think you can do better, Commissar?" Dwarf Shaman challenged, waving the jug full of liquor in front of me.
Much to his surprise and that of the Eldar who had started to finally come back to reality, I gratefully took the jug I was offered and took a long draw straight from it. The Dwarven Fire Wine, while strong, certainly lacked in flavor. I've tasted latrine brewed amasec from several different regiments that was more memorable than this paint thinner, but that didn't stop me from satisfying my curiosity about the abhuman's spirits. It was amazing what a soldier could stomach when there was no better way to get drunk for kloms.
"Not bad. Could stand to be a little stronger." I joked as I handed back the jug to Dwarf Shaman whose jaw was agape in amazement.
"...you're sure you're human and not a half-dwarf?" The squat asked me as he retrieved his amasec, holding it a little closer to himself than he had previously.
"I'm as sure I'm human as I am that High Elf Archer is going to be waking up with a hangover sent straight from the Warp." I replied, smiling as I felt a little warmer and a lot more relaxed as the drink started to take hold of me.
"Huh, fair enough." Dwarf Shaman said as he turned to Goblin Slayer who was watching us from behind his helmet. "What about you, Orcbolg? You fancy a little swig too?"
"I've never had Dwarven Fire Wine before." The obtuse adventurer stated.
"No better time to try than the present." The squat said as he ladled out a spoonful of amasec and offered it to the grimy mess of an adventurer.
To my continued amazement, Goblin Slayer somehow managed not to spill a single drop of amasec as he poured it through his helmet. I don't know how that man had managed to eat, drink, or even sleep for that matter without taking his helmet off, but considering the ease with which he did so I wouldn't be surprised if he admitted he hadn't taken the damn thing off for a few years.
"Oh hoh hoh, looks like we have more than a few drinkers amongst us. What about you, Gunner?" Dwarven Shaman said as he offered my aide a spoonful of Fire Wine as well.
"Sure." Jurgen said as he calmly took the spoon and poured the majority of it down his throat without bothering to savor what little flavor it had.
Dwarven Shaman was less than enthused to receive the now filthy spoon back from my aide, and made the wise decision to pack it away until it could be washed later rather than risk contaminating the rest of his amasec with it.
We had a brief incident where the Eldar tried pulling some scroll out of Goblin Slayer's bag in her drunken stupor, but that was quickly resolved before anything could happen. I made sure to give my adventuring companion a stern reminder that anything that was dangerous enough to be considered a trump card against our enemies should not be laying around where any curious little frakhead might be able to steal from us or, Emperor forbid, it somehow activate at the worst possible moment while we are running for our lives. The boy seemed remorseful enough after I chewed him out for once again failing to inform his party about what equipment he brought along, and after getting him to promise to tell us what it did once we were back at the Adventurer's Guild, returned to swapping comestibles.
"Wha' about you twos?" The Eldar drunkenly slurred in me and Jurgen's general direction from where Priestess was keeping a close eye on her. "Aren't you going to ssssshare something too~?"
As much as I hated to admit it, the xenos had a point. I could hardly be expected to sample the various food and drink the others were sharing without offering up any of my own.
"Say, Jurgen, how much tanna tea did you bring with you?" I asked my aide, who stiffened up at my sudden question. "Enough to share, I hope?"
"Tanna tea!?" The Eldar shouted a little more soberly than she had been speaking previously. "Where did you find that?"
"You sound surprised." I said in amusement. "Is that another elven specialty forbidden for outsiders to drink?"
"Yes, it is." She stated matter-of-factly, much to Jurgen and I's surprise.
"Really?" My aide said, sounding far more interested than I would have expected him to.
"Well, it's a good thing we know someone who can get us some more. I was afraid we were going to run out of the stuff any day now." I remarked.
Jurgen's laughter at my comment, while as disconcerting to watch as it was to listen to as per usual, seemed incredibly suspicious. If I had to take a guess, a large number of the daily supply runs my aide had insisted on going on without me had actually been thinly veiled attempts to find a supply of tanna leaves before his dwindling stockpile dried up. I knew he had been running low for a while now, but didn't have the heart to tell him I would be fine without him putting in the effort to find us a new source of tanna tea because it was one of the few things my aide was able to take the initiative in while we were stranded on this planet. The last thing I wanted to do to my longtime assistant was lower his morale by letting him know all the painstaking efforts he had taken to keep me ignorant about the matter were for nothing. It was one of the few distractions he had keeping the worsening odds of us returning to the Imperium off of his mind aside from goblin slaying, and I was not about to go on more life threatening adventures than I had needed to in order to maintain morale.
"And here I thought I was going to have to fight off another army of Orks to find myself another cup of tanna soon." I joked.
No one, not even my aide, dared to say a word after I made the mistake of revealing the career starting incident that led to my current status as the Commissariat's lauded 'Hero of the Imperium'.
"You fought off an entire army… for some tea?" Priestess murmured in amazement, finally breaking the silence that had cropped up amongst us.
"Yes, and it was the best damn mug of tanna I've had in my life." I laughed, hoping to ease the atmosphere around us.
"Well, I hope you know a few friends who aren't as uptight about tradition as yourself, long ears." Dwarf Shaman roared in laughter as the friendly air around us returned at the sound of his deep belly laughs. "Otherwise you might be needing to use your connections to add another reward to this quest."
"That should be easy enough. Either me or my sister should be able to talk to someone to help you two out." The Eldar said with thinly veiled aloofness as she looked over me and Jurgen, but mostly me, with renewed respect.
"An entire army on your own. You must be as great a warrior as the songs say!" Lizard Priest exclaimed. "I cannot wait to see you fight."
"Hopefully you won't have too many chances." I said, the odd trio of adventurers laughing at my apparent joke unaware about how I meant it wholeheartedly.
"Me too." Priestess said as she stifled a yawn.
"It's getting late. We should get some sleep while we still can. I'll take the first watch for tonight with Goblin Slayer." I offered, receiving full agreement from everyone present.
Or rather, I hadn't heard anyone declining my offer. Goblin Slayer hadn't said anything, and I initially took his silence as his consent to our arrangements. It was only when I turned to see him with his back to the ground and legs dangling over the log he used as a bench that I realized the true reason behind the silence.
"Tsk. The Fire Wine's finally hit him. I was wondering when it was going to show." Dwarf Shaman said, as he furled an eyebrow in my direction.
"Looks like we have more than one lightweight among us." I joked, earning an indignant shout from the Eldar in protest.
"Well, I suppose I'll have to take watch with someone else." I sighed.
Thankfully, Lizard Priest volunteered before my aide could. As much as I wanted Jurgen to be by my side at all times, it seemed he also knew that it would be best if one of us were awake at all times while we were working alongside the xenos. Neither Jurgen nor I was willing to trust her not to try anything while we slept, and thankfully I didn't need to take him aside and show my doubts as to the state of our current alliance.
"Let's hope tomorrow goes as well for us as today did." I said after most everyone else turned in for the night.
"If only everything could be as easy as enjoying the company of friends." Lizard Priest hummed in agreement alongside me as we stood guard over the others.
Oh, if only I knew what was in store for us, I would have never agreed to accompany the xenos and abhumans on the suicide mission we had all unwittingly embarked on.
Special thanks to Tireless Traveler for beta-reading this chapter!
Author's Corner:
Another little short chapter, as promised. I might have shot myself in the foot, so to speak, in performing a double upload in a single month. Next chapter might be a little late thanks to this if I don't outright take a bye month
Comments:
bissek: Wouldn't Priestess be psyker-like with her cleric powers? If so, having her sit next to Jurgen should cause her considerable discomfort not associated with his BO. And if she isn't, that would be of interest to Cain, as he knows that Jurgen has messed up priests of Chaos Cults by bring too close to them.
I have been waiting so long for someone to point this out after the 'subtle' hints, or lack thereof, of any clerics or Witches experiencing any violent seizures after getting close to Jurgen. It's strange how he had a noticeable effect on goblins and W40K warp using entities though, isn't it?
I strongly advise rereading that scene with Inspector interrogating Cain with this in mind.
cirithewitcheress: Nice chapter, and its kinda wholesome that Cain holds priestess in such high esteem- she really does try her best
Cain has always had a soft spot for people who have some common sense, are useful to his continued survival, and are actually working for the betterment of humanity so long as it won't lead to disaster. Priestess happens to qualify for all three. It's little wonder as to why he is so fond of her.
(In regards to Cain's stance on Eldar)
Not sure if anyone remembers this from the Cain series, but the commissar does not understand that there is a difference between the Aeldari, Drukhari, and Exodites. He has fought them enough to recognize they do not always use the same tactics, equipment, or have the same goals but he has never figured out that not all of them share the Dark Eldar's depravity. Cain has also made references to spending an undisclosed amount of time on a Drukhari slave ship meant for Commorragh. With this in mind, it is nothing short of a miracle he does not shoot any long eared humanoids from GS's universe on sight since he currently thinks they are all okay with the average Drukhari pass time of torturing their captives before turning them into furniture… while they are still alive and fully aware of what they have become.
As always, thanks for reading and I hope to see you all again in the future!
