We woke up early the following morning, long before the first light of dawn much to my displeasure, but given the foe we were going to face every advantage we could hold over our enemy was invaluable regardless of how much I wanted to grumble about it. Thankfully, I had plenty of tanna tea left as no one aside from myself or Jurgen had been willing to dip into our limited supply after learning it was my aide who was in charge of handling the fragrant and pleasantly refreshing beverage. It seemed that despite my attempt to bribe the xenos and abhumans' loyalty being well received, I wouldn't have to sacrifice anything for it after all. The fact that none of them had made any attempt to slit my throat in the middle of the night only served to prove how far a few kind words and a loaded laspistol tucked underneath your pillow could get you.
Breakfast that morning was provided by my malodorous aide, or rather, taken from the supplies Jurgen had stowed away in the Trukk the previous day and was prepared for us by the Silver Ranked trio of adventurers. I can only imagine their insistence on taking up kitchen duty was because they thought it would be better if they were to cook our meals rather than risk my aide accidentally poisoning us before our adventure could truly begin should any loose debris hanging from the tangled mess of webbing covering his body fall off before serving us. I could hardly blame them, as I was much the same way before I learned that Jurgen's general disregard to personal hygiene did not extend to the meticulous care he showed when tending to whatever duties I pushed onto him. The rock hard bread they retrieved from our meager stores didn't taste nearly as good in the stew the xenos prepared, likely owing to my aide's unwillingness to let her sample the various spices he had hidden away somewhere he wouldn't even reveal to me, but it was surprisingly palatable for cuisine prepared by a xenos. I made sure to stay close to Priestess when I first sampled her cooking, as I only had a limited number of antidotes available and knew that the girl would be more than willing to offer me assistance if it turned out our temporary allies had decided to betray us now when we were so close to starting our work.
Aside from a few disparaging comments whispered into my ear courtesy of Jurgen, comments that I did my best to ignore after noticing High Elf Archer looking our way with a vengeful glint in her eyes, breakfast was largely uneventful. Lizard Priest did break his usual aloof character, however, upon sampling some of the thick, fatty cheese that Goblin Slayer offered to all us for breakfast after passing out before he could share it last night. It wasn't the greatest cheese I've ever had, but it did have an oddly pleasant taste and aroma not unlike garlic grox butter. I certainly wouldn't have considered it the 'sweet nectar' Lizard Priest sang praises about, but it was of the same great quality that the Adventurers' Guild provided. Considering how Goblin Slayer seemed to know the suppliers of the Guild's pantry personally, it was hardly surprising he would have been able to get his hands on food that was slightly better than what was served to regular adventurers such as Priestess and the rest of this planet's inhabitants.
Our small little feast didn't last long as we were on a tight schedule, so we quickly packed up our supplies in the Trukk once we finished our meal and started marching our way to our destination on foot with High Elf Archer acting as our forward scout until we reached our intended destination. While I was ordinarily opposed to trusting a xenos with taking charge of any expeditions I intended to be a part of, I found it far easier to trust the alien when she wasn't in a position where it would be all to easy to slip a poisoned dagger in my back, not that I believed a scrawny little thing like her could have pierced through the carapace armor I was wearing underneath my greatcoat. Even then, I had no bloody idea where we were supposed to be headed and the only other people who did were the abhumans, so I didn't have much of a choice to lead from the front as was typically expected of me.
Despite this, I made sure to hide my immense relief and maintain a gallant enough posture as I marched lockstep with my aide in the center of our formation. I suggested Priestess walk in between us where we would both be able to line up a shot on anything that made the mistake of trying to ambush us, not that I was particularly worried about such a thing happening for once, and she happily accepted my proposal once the others decided the remainder of our formation. With High Elf Archer at our front, Goblin Slayer taking up the rear guard, and the abhumans watching both of our flanks, I had little reason to worry for our safety given how unlikely it was for anything to be able to sneak up on a Silver Ranked adventurer with years of combat experience backing them up.
That didn't mean I was so complacent as to keep my chainsword tucked away in its scabbard though. Similarly to how Jurgen was carrying his lasgun tightly in his arms, ready to crack off a lasbolt at the first sign of trouble, I too had my own weapon of choice in an easily accessible position to lop off the head of any greenskin so overconfident in its chances of success as to charge into the middle of our formation and take us all on at once should the abhumans and xenos somehow let it through. I didn't live long enough to retire from the Imperial Guard, a feat that was almost unheard of thanks to regularly being shot at by new and exciting xenos and heretics every day, by being complacent. No matter how often I found the problems I faced spiraling beyond my control, I always did everything I could to prepare for the worst the galaxy could throw at me. My continued survival after eight decades of harrowing service at the forefront of the most dangerous battlegrounds Amberley and my superiors in the Commissariat and could throw me at was a testament to how important a little paranoia and a lot of preparation was to stay out of the hungering maw of a hungry horde of hormagaunts or free from the clutches of vile Warpspawn and their heretical followers.
By the time we reached our destination, the light of dawn had only just started to crest over the trees of the surrounding forest. From just beyond the verdant cover we had been trudging through for a while now, I could finally see what I could only pursue to be the place we had been sent out to purge of goblins. Our target was a ruined temple centered atop a hill in the middle of an unnatural clearing, although it was hard to make out the telltale signs in the limited visibility even with my experience navigating low light environments. I almost missed them at first, but a prolonged inspection revealed numerous divots left behind from tree stumps that had been pulled out of the ground and, more concerningly, enormous five toed footprints that no mere greenskin could have left behind. Not even the Goblin Champion I had fought could have left behind a trail that large leading to the temple entrance, nor did it seem stupid enough plaster such an obvious invitation for trouble. Whatever left those footprints either didn't care if any wandering adventurers noticed them and investigated the ruins or wanted invaders for purposes I couldn't even begin to guess at nor wanted to.
My palms grew clammy at the very sight of them, and I muttered a prayer to The Emperor that whatever had left that sinister trail was some mindless beast of burden and not an even larger variety of goblin I had yet to encounter. None of the others seemed too preoccupied with it, which was either a testament to how focused they were on our current objective of scouting the goblin forces that they couldn't be bothered to notice the faded footprints or how insignificant they truly were. I can only wonder how different things might have been if I brought them to the others' attention.
"I can see three guards: two goblins and a wol- wait, somethings wrong." High Elf Archer announced as she nocked an arrow, bringing back to more pressing matters.
My body stiffened and I found myself unconsciously loosening my laspistol out of its holster as I waited for our resident goblin expert to explain what the xenos was going on about. Jurgen followed suit, trading the lasgun in his hands for his melta, an act that caused both Priestess and I to take several hurried steps away from him as Goblin Slayer brushed past my aide with casual indifference to give his own judgment on whatever it was that the Eldar had found.
"Feeling a bit jumpy, Cain?" Dwarf Shaman chuckled, thinking the reason I moved beside him had anything to do with the enemy.
"No, I'm just trying to get out of range of my aide's meltagun." I told him, pointing to both him and the oblivious pair of adventurers that would likely be missing more than their eyebrows if Jurgen decided to pull the trigger then.
"I'd rather not be cooked alive by friendly fire before the fun starts." I added with a forced laugh that almost sounded genuine and added, more gravely, "Or at all, for that matter."
"Huh, you don't say…" The Squat trailed off after catching sight of Priestess putting Lizard Priest between herself and my malodorous companion. The two of them also seemed to be discussing Jurgen's tendency to leave little margin for error at that moment too, as I noticed the scaled abhuman dig into one of the many pockets of his priestly attire for what I could only assume was a protective ward of some sort. A light shuffling of fabric to my own side informed me that Dwarf Shaman was following suit, and I could hardly blame them. After experiencing my aide's driving for the first time yesterday, it was perfectly reasonable to assume that his blatant disregard for pedestrians and other vehicles in his way extended to anything down range of whatever firearm he was holding.
It didn't, unless you considered a lack of a warning when he finally fired his melta in close quarters dangerous, which I most certainly did but hardly found reason to complain about as such occasions were always well justified, but I wasn't going to try to convince anyone that they had nothing to fear from my aide. Much like trying to convince the Valhallan 597th I was formerly a part of that Sergeant 'Jinxie' Penlan wasn't cursed, the best thing I could do here was not bring up the reasons behind an admittedly well-earned reputation.
"Hmm, that is odd." I heard Goblin Slayer muse as he surveyed the distant ruined temple from beside the xenos.
Feeling a cold sweat starting to drip down the back of my neck, I took a great risk of moving in front of my aide so I could stand beside our two scouts and see what had made them so worked up. "Mind telling the rest of us what it is we should be worrying about?" I asked them.
"I wouldn't go far as to say we should worry about this, but something is definitely wrong." The xenos said, releasing the tension in her bow ever so slightly as she turned to address me before Goblin Slayer could respond. "Do you see the guards over there? Somebody, or something has alrea-"
"They're dead." Goblin Slayer bluntly interrupted, earning an exasperated sigh from the Eldar.
"Yeah, he's right, but there's more to it than that." High Elf Archer said, shooting the filthy adventurer an annoyed look. "We're not the only ones here. Something has left the guards' bodies propped up to look like they're still doing their jobs."
My mind wandered back to the footprints I noticed earlier had also killed the goblins and their pet, but I quickly disregarded that possibility since the corpses apparently hadn't been pulped by whatever giant had made them.
"Do you have any idea what we might be dealing with?" I questioned, hoping they might be able to tell from what little evidence we could see from this distance. I could barely just make out the forms of two small humanoids and a quadrupedal creature in the direction our archer and unofficial leader were looking, but I thought if they could tell that the enemy's guards were dead at this distance then they might also have an idea as to what might be behind it.
"No." Goblin Slayer answered, quickly dashing my hopes.
"But that doesn't mean we can't find out." The Eldar woman declared as she crouched down and started to proceed forwards, fading into the shadows provided by the thick foliage surrounding us to the point where it was hard to see her despite being only a few meters apart before reappearing as soon as she left cover.
I looked to Goblin Slayer to see if he would join her and, sure enough, he was already following the xenos closely behind without bothering to consult with the rest of us. Feeling that it would be better for everyone to remain relatively close together, but not too close that we would perish should what we were looking for found us instead, I whistled to grab the rest of our party's attention and motioned us to move forward slowly since no one else felt it was necessary to give orders and coordinate our actions.
We all moved surprisingly quietly compared to the usual squads I was used to operating with, although considering how I wasn't working alongside a bunch of guardsmen who preferred to shoot first and let The Emperor figure out the rest, perhaps I shouldn't have found that to be so unexpected. I was working mostly with professionals aside from a girl who was an incredibly quick learner, all of whom likely had plenty of experience concealing themselves from the enemy.
As impressive as their initial movements were, I wasn't shocked by the two abhuman's reluctance to stay downwind of Jurgen while we tried our best to remain undetected as we closed in on the temple where our other companions were carefully inspecting the corpses left there. Priestess was the only exception, the girl having grown used enough to my aide's overpowering stench to walk directly beside him, although not quite to the same extent as myself if her refusal to breathe through her nose was any indicator.
As we finally came close enough to clearly make out the goblin corpses for what they were, I couldn't help but notice that, aside from the fairly large pool of blood underneath each of the bodies, there wasn't much damage to them. In fact, if it hadn't been for all the blood, I might have mistaken the greenskins for simply sleeping instead of dead. After having gone on more than enough goblin hunts with Goblin Slayer, I knew that these vile monsters were lazy enough to make Orks look well disciplined. More than a few of our adventures went smoother than they should have thanks to the little chaos tainted abominations lax patrols.
I dipped the toe of one of my boots in the blood-soaked ground, careful not to disturb Goblin Slayer or High Elf Archer as they conducted their own investigations of the bodies, and found that there was still enough of the stuff that hadn't been sopped up by the dirt at our feet to soak through to the bottom of my toes. Whatever had killed these goblins before us not only had done so efficiently, but recently too. Facing down whatever killed these goblins was not a prospect I was looking forward to, and I had no doubt that whatever had slain these xenos didn't just frak off after taking care of the guards on the surface.
"Looks like they were killed by an arrow." Goblin Slayer suddenly stated, kneeling down to the neck of the goblin and pulling out the item in question from the corpse's neck as our archer nodded thoughtfully.
"Clean kills too." The xenos added, looking oddly concerned in contrast to her usual aloofness or adversarial attitude.
"Do you think another adventurer might have found this place before us by accident?" Priestess asked her regular partner.
"It's a possibility." Dwarf Shaman answered for him. "Although, I don't quite think this was an 'accident' like you're thinking it is."
High Elf Archer shot the Squat a dirty look, and although every expression the lizard-like abhuman made bordered on threatening or hungry, the most recent one he adopted looked far more concerning for a different reason. "Are you implying what I think you are?" I asked him, coming to the same conclusion as his own companions.
"Well, the way I see it we have two possibilities. Either we have an elf that decided to go above and beyond after being told to stay put and let us handle this mess, or some poor archer wandered into the biggest goblin nest in the area without knowing what they were getting into." He explained. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I wouldn't mind the former if it means having an extra pair of competent hands to help out."
The positive spin he put on his accusation seemed to satisfy his companions, and even I felt a little reassured at the prospect of having one more meat shield at my disposal. Of course, that was only if whoever killed those goblins wouldn't also be just as willing to attack us, but I decided not to sour the strained mood between us any further.
"Hmm… this is odd though." Goblin Slayer muttered to himself, barely loud enough for me to hear him.
While I might not have ordinarily put much thought into an idle comment like that, after having grown used to how the man tended to keep vital information to himself and his uncanny insight into the greenskins of this planet, I knew that he must have found something important that could very well seal our fates.
"Goblin Slayer, explain." I ordered him, having long since abandoned any attempts to draw information out of him in a more civilized manner. There were only so many times I could listen to the 'safer if I do not explain everything out loud' and similar excuses, and this was not one of them.
His grimy helmet perked up in my direction, and after a moment of nervous shuffling, he finally decided to give me a straight answer. "They had two guards, and a wolf." He explained, apparently finding that latter detail more concerning than the excessive guard detail the greenskins had.
"Yeah, what about it?" High Elf Archer asked.
"Bloody greenskins are a bunch of lazy good for nothings." Jurgen vehemently spat out.
Priestess was quick to reiterate what my aide said in a less phlegmatic fashion. "What he means is that goblins don't usually have more than one guard… or any."
It was a trend I had also noticed over the course of our adventures together, although not one I had put much importance behind until now. Smaller nests without any specialized leadership, outside of the occasional hobgoblin whose method of ruling consisted of 'beat any underlings into obedience or to death at the first sign of defiance', tended to forgo any defensive measures at all leading to a quick and clean slaughter on our part. When a nest had a shaman, champion, or something other than a goblin leading them, however, that was when our adventures became a little more harrowing than a simple pest extermination. Much like tyranids, the intelligence of the nest grew proportionally to the number of greenskins and higher ranking variants it contained. A nest with no elite goblins can barely cobble together enough stone tools to arm themselves, let alone set up a guard rotation, whereas a nest with multiple shamans or some of the other rarer variants I've questioned Goblin Slayer might be cunning enough to launch a successful raid against Frontier Town.
What this meant for us was that we were undoubtedly facing goblins with extremely capable leadership and numbers. I don't know what kind of goblin, if it even was a greenskin leading this horde, that was capable enough to prevent their forces from devouring the wolf and tame it instead, but whatever creature was leading them must have been intelligent as it was powerful. Goblins did not willingly work for others, or even with each other for that matter, so whatever had whipped them into something resembling a halfway capable fighting force had to wield an terrifying power in addition to its relatively high intelligence.
For a moment, I thought we might have the Goblin Lord that even Goblin Slayer feared on our hands, but I quickly dismissed that thought as the armored adventurer didn't seem nearly as eager to march down into the ruins to put down this goblin threat as I would have expected him to do if that was the case. Even so, that didn't stop him from taking the proper precautions before we delved down into the depths of the vile den of depravity we were hired to clear out.
Knowing what he was intending to do made it far easier to watch, but no less pleasant to witness. I was quite thankful I hadn't eaten too much at breakfast, as I couldn't help but to feel slightly nauseous as Goblin Slayer knelt down to one of the goblin corpses and carved its stomach open. A putrid smell comparable to the strength of Jurgen's natural musk, but slightly less repulsive, exploded from the wound alongside a spattering of torn intestines, earning a disgusted yelp from Eldar and a quizzical look from the abhumans as Goblin Slayer dipped a rag in the fresh viscera. I could hear Priestess sigh as this odd ritual had become a regular occurrence in our adventures together, and I still felt a pang of sympathy for the girl and the effort it would take to wash all of the stains and smells out of her clothes once this adventure was over.
"What are you doing!?" High Elf Archer squealed as she gagged watching our now gore covered leader continue his grisly work, "I know you hate goblins, but you don't have to do that to them-"
"They have an excellent sense of smell." Goblin Slayer interrupted, holding up the dripping rag in his hand in front of her. "Especially for women, children, and elves."
"Wa… wait a second, Orcbolg. You can't possibly mean…" The xenos muttered in horror as she darted away from him, "No, no, no, no, NO! You are not coming anywhere near me with that dirty thing!"
"It's important to mask your scent before starting a goblin hunt." I interrupted, unable to antagonize the Eldar.
"You get used to it." Priestess added with a despondent look on her face as she walked over and took the blood and gut covered rag from the grimy adventurer's hand and started dousing herself with its contents which immediately stained her once pristine Ecclesiarchal adornments.
"C-come on, Orcbolg! There has to be another way we can do this!" The Eldar pleaded, looking to her companions for support.
The abhumans looked just as uneasy as I felt the first time I watched this scene unfold with Priestess, but neither one of them spoke up in her defense. Quite the opposite in fact.
"It is important to camouflage one's presence while hunting for prey." Lizard Priest said, his tail curling up behind him.
"Scaly's right. We'll need every advantage we can get if this goblin nest is as big as we think it is." The Squat told her, unable to muster up a single insult against his ancestral enemy in her pitiful state.
"You're just saying that because you're not the ones who have to be soaked in goblin guts!" High Elf Archer complained.
"Those two will need to do it too." Goblin Slayer quickly corrected her, much to both their and my surprise.
"We WHAT!?" Dwarf Shaman shouted in outrage, "What about Cain and Jurgen? I don't see either of those two getting dirty."
"They don't have to. Their scents are already fine." Our leader informed us for the first time for the duration we had been adventuring together.
Goblin Slayer never mentioned anything about anyone other than Priestess having to douse themselves in goblin innards before diving into a goblin nest on our previous adventures, and I was feeling more than a little insulted at the implication he was getting at. I could easily see and especially smell why Jurgen would be exempt from such precautions, but not me. I immediately gave my great coat an inquisitive stench and immediately regretted it as I could pick up the faintest bouquet of repulsive flavors that I typically only ever associated with my aide. Apparently after all of the time I spent with my aide, I had become so used to his smell that I never noticed it had partially rubbed off on me.
After this quest was over, I was going to buy the strongest smelling soap sold in Frontier Town and soak my uniform in it for an entire day before putting it back on.
"You could also stay beside Jurgen. He should be more than enough to mask your scent." Goblin Slayer announced as Priestess handed him the rag back.
The Silver Ranked Adventurers silently looked between my aide and our resident goblin expert as he removed what appeared to be a liver from the partially dissected corpse at his feet and offered it to whoever wanted to go next. High Elf Archer accepted the rag without any hesitation, and neither of the abhumans made any attempt to trade places with me so they could take full advantage of my malodorous aide's natural camouflage.
Perhaps burning my uniform and requesting another one be sewn by the locals might be better than trying to salvage it. I certainly had enough funds for it, and I'm sure Guild Girl or Cow Girl might be able to recommend me a good tailor since they are likely used to working around Goblin Slayer's own scent and- wait.
So those marks on his armor weren't rust. No wonder he stinks as much as Jurgen.
Author's Corner:
Another short one, but once again, I didn't want to throw an incredibly long chapter at you all if it would end up being a run on.
Now, a few of you might have recognized a few changes from canon GS and there is a reason for that. It's amazing how a simple vehicle cutting down on a few days worth of travel can make, but will it be enough to save a life from a fate worse than death? And will Cain ever be able to get the smell of Jurgen out of his clothes? Only time will tell.
Comments:
Marshal Barachiel: Damn, this is good. Although, just imagine the prospect of the Imperium discovering this Fantasy Feudal world of GS, how would the locals react? Would they comply and join the Imperium? Or... is it worthy of an Exterminatus...?
Or, if Cain and Jurgen realized that they're in a different universe entirely…
The world of Goblin Slayer is infested with greenskins, elves of all sorts, abhuman 'mutants', a supposed form of Chaos, and who knows what else. If the planet wasn't worth Exterminatus due to all the resources and relics located on the planet, it would damn well be worthy of a good purging or full on crusade if it is ever located…
Thanks for reading and I hope to see you all again soon!
