Dissatisfaction.

Anger.

This feeling of wanting to lose control.

It's been over a month since his and Minato's separation, and still, he couldn't understand it. He thought by returning here, where he and Minato first met, would help him find an answer but nothing! Nothing but this maelstrom of sludge and bile he feels building.

Is this what he felt? This feeling of being cheated by the world—to have one's life ruined before it could begin?

Things will never be the way things were before. He'll never be there with Minato, forcing him to play board games together or spying on the neighbors and sharing the gossip.

He did everything he thought was right! Everything! They knew what would happen years before and accepted it! After Kirijo, he would ensure that this world was purged for everything it had done to Minato. Its remnants would be left for him and only him to reshape and mold in his image.

But then, she happened.

She walks with her friends, approaching him cautiously with his weapons ready.

Death's back is to the full moon, now completely lacking the primitive hunch from before and allowing him to further tower over them.

The chains on his back shatter. His imprisonment is ended, and in their place, his wings are free once more. The thin katana transmogrifies into a broadsword that he still effortlessly wields with one hand.

The legs more closely resemble twigs now, and his arms and hands more closely resemble the ones of the little worms approaching him.

Worms. Is that what they are?

Seeing her. Trading glares with that redheaded girl brings clarity he could not discover himself. Through all the black bile and blood, one sensation stands out. One scorching out with the fury of a thousand suns. Words that once held so little meaning, now encapsulate everything.

Contempt and hatred.


Sometime earlier

Everyone gathers in the lounge with an uneasy silence between them.

Minato's eyes were glued to the clock, watching it tick down. Each second felt like minutes, and minutes turned to hours.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

The hands' movements echo throughout the dorm as midnight approaches.

A sinking feeling forms, turning his stomach into a knot that grows tighter every second. A faint burning sensation rises at the back of the boy's throat, an early warning that the tension may cause him to throw up.

"No," Minato clutches his hand, forcing himself through.

The foul stench of burning skin floods his nostrils. Accompanying the malodor is the scent of smoke, almost earning a cough out of reflex.

"Get out…"

A flash of bright embers danced in the air, landing on his exposed skin. Soon, all that's left is a pile of ash.

"Get. Out." Minato demands in a low growl.

Don't let it in.

Take those memories and swallow them down. Push them all back and lock the door.

Too much is at risk tonight. He can't let himself freeze up again; he won't allow it, not when the others will be a risk because of him.

The corners of his mind tug at him, begging to be let back—to swallow him whole. But he's already done that once; never again.

The tugging ends when the world around him shifts once more, gaining the all too familiar green tint of the Dark Hour.

There's hardly a need for Fuuka to summon Juno to find Ryoji. Within a moment, she confirms what he already knows. "He's waiting at the Moonlight Bridge."

"Sounds like him," Minato scoffs. One of the many traits he passed on to his old friend; neither one of them is capable of letting the past go.

Minato stands, a restless feeling tormenting his legs. This needs to end tonight.

"What are we waiting for?" He asks, glancing back at the team expectantly.

Mitsuru's expression turns confused for a moment before giving a disapproving glare. Following her gaze, Minato sees that it's directed at Kotone whose expression looks downcast, hands flexing around the shaft as if she were nervous.

Then both their eyes snap back to him. No words are said, but their meaning is clear nonetheless. The realization is as much a shock as it is painful.

"No." Minato refuses, shaking his head. "Hell no."

"I'm not letting you go." Kotone raises her head, her expression now turned stern.

"The hell I'm not," Minato's voice was booming throughout the entire dorm. He's come so far already; she can't force him to watch people die all over again. "This was my friend before I even knew you—"

He looks at the rest of SEES. Some such as Fuuka and Yukari look saddened, while others such as Misturu and Aigis keep their expressions straight. Not a single one of them looks surprised.

This had been decided a long time ago without his presence. The thought makes his blood boil more.

All those memories flooding back to him every night, days dreading this one, and worrying for each of them, and this is what they do? Blindsiding him; leaving him behind as he left Minako?

"Any of you! You have no right! What, is it because you feel sad for me?!" He accuses them. Is that it? Because they feel bad?! "Poor Minato already lost his family, so you get to swoop in and play the hero—"

A hand grabs his shoulder and forcingly turns him around, interrupting his diatribe. The hand belongs to his girlfriend, her eyes burning with anger. "God, you're such an idiot! For once, will you shut up and listen!"

"*I* have no right?! Me!?" The restrained pain in her voice tells him that his words must have cut deeper than he thought. "How many times do I have to save you from yourself?"

"Way I remember it, I saved you first." Minato shoots back. He hasn't forgotten that night of the first fool moon. They didn't know who he was but he saved her and Yukari all the same.

"From Shadows," Kotone emphasizes the difference. "How many times did you bleed yourself dry before I stopped you?"

The mention of his old 'habit' forces him to suppress a shiver.

Truth be told, he could still feel the 'itch' calling back to him at times. Some nights when the memories won't stop invading his mind, he desperately craves any sort of relief he can find.

But he always remembered his promise to her that he would stop. Even Makoto, whose mind had been ravaged by Pharos, still had some part of him that refused to indulge in that craving.

"That's not f—"

"Not fair? Really?" Kotone scoffs. "That's all you got?"

"I could heal," he reminds her. "It's not like I would have died."

"It's not about if you die!" Kotone is screaming at it, berating him with a tone one would use if someone were to repeatedly miss a point entirely. "It's about whether you live!"

Minato furrows his brow at the contradiction. "What?" You're either alive or you're dead with no middle point.

"Your friend told me, you know," Kotone says with a trembling lip, gripping her weapon tighter to fight the tremors in her hands. "How you tortured yourself, slipping in your blood because of me."

He… told her? "Damn you, Pharos," he curses. That is a secret he was hoping he would take to his grave.

A stray tear falls down the girl's face. This is enough for Yukari to intervene, "Kotone, we should just—"

Kotone shakes her head, interrupting with a raise of her palm that she steadies into the fist before speaking once more. "I've pulled you out of your apartment. I've had to fight you when it was pulling your strings like a puppet. I will die a thousand deaths before I let that thing near you again."

Wiping the tear away, Kotone takes a deep breath. "So, please," she pleads, "just stay here."

What is he supposed to say?

Does he relent, letting the one he loves face the one who had been his only friend? The same friend that killed his family, and that would take her life as well, leaving him all alone again.

Does he deny her, deepening the wounds Pharos opened? What right does he have to do so, after all the times she's saved him from the very thing she's trying to protect him from?

Minako begged him to help, and he left her.

Kotone is begging him to stay away, so should he?

What choice prevents him from making the same mistake? What is he supposed to do?!

Several moments pass before Minato can break the silence. "You're asking me to make that choice again." The irony is palpable. His leaving before is what damned him, now he's being ordered to stay away.

Kotone opens her mouth to speak but no words escape. Crimson eyes are wide in shock at his declaration, leaving her completely and utterly flabbergasted, and unable to refute his words.

Mitsuru, however, steps in for her kohai. "Arisato, no words can express—"

"Don't hand me that," Minato interrupts with a scoff. "Pharos is my responsibility, not yours."

"That is where you are wrong." Mitsuru frowns, crossing her arms. There's a slight bitterness beneath the sternness of her tone. "It was my grandfather that summoned Death. I told you that I would make amends for what my family has done, and this is as much as yours—no, even more so. Everything you've endured—every sin you committed under its influence—is another reason this is my responsibility."

Minato's expression softens for the first time. Some could call this ironic; the one he once held responsible for everything that happened to him, now has forgiven him but still holds herself accountable for the sins he committed.

"You were there for me," Yukari chimes in, smiling at the memory. "Well, okay, you were a complete jerk about it. But you told me to keep believing in my dad—you did that despite what you had just heard."

The chuckle escapes before he could stop it. "You remember the part where I tried to kill you, right?"

His small fit of laughter was contagious, it would seem. A small fit of laughter erupts from the team from their banter. When did one of the worst moments of his life become something he could laugh at? Laugh with others?

All except one.

"Minato-san," Aigis calls out, taking several steps towards the boy with an uncharacteristically sheepish expression. "Please, do not suffer alone this time. Let us help you however we can."

She's desperate. Like Kotone, she doesn't want him in harm's way anymore. No matter how much he forgives her, she may never forgive herself for everything she's put him through by sealing Death inside him—it was a sentiment he knew all too well.

"I…"

What is he supposed to say? They're here begging him like she was; he can't refuse them, no matter how much it hurts.

But at the same time…

Minato's head hangs low, offering no resistance as the team passes him by. Kotone offers him assurances that they'll be back, giving him a peck on his cheek.

Her next actions, however, betray her words.

Kotone calls out to the mechanic maiden, "Aigis, could you… stay with him, please." She asks. "I just… I need to know he's safe."

Aigis nods without hesitation. If Death manages to find its way past the team and to here, she would defend Minato to the very end—he knew she would.

How is he supposed to feel? Honored? Worried?

Instead, he just feels so… defeated. Everything he's been through. Everything he's done. And it's about to end with him doing nothing but watching it unfold.

So different, yet it feels the same.

"Minato!"

Echoes from the past break past the dam, flooding his mind as his heavy footsteps drag their way up the steps and into his room.

The sound of his name. The heat of the flames. The smell of smoke and burning flesh. The metallic taste of blood in his mouth from the crash. But none of that compares to the sight…

Looking up from his bed, Minato's greeted by a familiar phantasm, gazing back at him with melancholia.


Present

He's not here.

Why isn't he here?! He should be here! He needs to be here!

There's no way he would stay back. She must have done something! She always does something! She's always trying to keep them apart!

"Where is he?" Death demands to know with a hiss.

"Away from you." Kotone raises her naginata in defiance, her friends joining her in solidarity.

Refusing as usual? Twisting the knives while pushing them in deeper. This pig never changes.

Pigs. Worms. Vermin.

That's all they are.

That's all they can be.

It's their desire for the end that's brought it forth, yet they seek to refuse it? A contradiction that could only be brought about by madness. And when a dog turns rabid, it must be put down.

Death's wings extend, slowly outstretching as it's lifted into the air. Hovering over them, Death prepares to attack…


Ugh, depression is kicking my ass lately. Sorry for the slow updates. Remember back when I did one chapter every day or two? Good times...