FIFTEEN
Just when I wanted to have alone time with Amberley*271, she dropped this piece of revelation. I just want to rest, was that so much to ask? But no. I just can't seem to have nice things, minus Amberley, Jurgen, Tanna tea, the 597th, Felicia Tayber…okay, maybe I do have some nice things but the point still stands*272! So, after my restful nap*273 on my bed*274, I somehow found myself on a "helicopter" flying towards a military encampment. The first thought through my mind was to not show my panic. If I was really kidnapped and Amberley was all in my imagination, I had to keep up appearances of an Imperial Guard Commissar, as expected of one of my station. Given a glance of my surroundings, I suppose I was overly reacting.
'Good morning Amberley.' I greeted, seeing her now dressed up like an actually decently dressed Catachan Jungle Fighter. At least she isn't topless that I know those insane lunatics are known to do. Why would they even do that? The jungles are always festering with diseases*275!
'Morning Commissar.' Hearing Amberley's cheerful greeting, plus thrusting a thermos into my hands was a simple joy. Which was immediately done away with but a sip. I realize it was recaf, and it's the pre-grounded version too. The taste is absolutely awful. I hope Amberley didn't make this, it isn't like her to use subpar goods*276. 'I do apologize about the early morning, but an issue takes precedence.'
'Not at all, Inquisitor.' I replied, falling into my usual routine now realizing the company within. Men in black uniforms, armed with autoguns, were seated at our flanks. 'Where are we going, exactly?' She only grinned at me, something I am concerningly, all to used to. She threw open the door, letting the wind in as well as the heat. Damn this heat.
'Welcome to Fort Buchanen.' She announced, nodding at the woman at her side who stepped out. 'For all intents and purposes, a staging area for the real operation ahead.' The rotors were winding down and I followed Amberley out of the vehicle. During our trek, I noticed several other black helicopters arriving, dropping off its load. Jurgen and Felicia got off of one. One other helicopter carried someone in chains, wearing an orange jumpsuit. Oh no, Amberley wasn't serious about last night, was she? Right?
'I'll explain more later. For now?' She put on shaded glasses, smile all too genuine. 'Do enjoy the sun.' Oh, I will…once I get back home!
After a few hours in my heavy greatcoat, I had decided to carry it under my arm. A few more hours later, I learnt that a few flights were delayed and that we will be here for eight hours. Eight hours of nothing, and with nothing else to do, I decided to do the most rational thing on my mind. I changed out into civilian clothes I found, which consisted of: a flower-theme button up shirt, swim trunks, and "sunglasses". I did, of course, keep my hat on my head and the red sash of my office around my waist. Who knows who'd steal it. Lastly, I was leaning on this "pool chair", arms behind the back of my head. This was the life!
'Your rum, sir.' My odious aide said, bringing me about to spare the amber liquid a glance. The ice was finely chipped and shaped to make a sphere. He also added in a lemon slice as garnish, accompanied with those small, cute little umbrellas. All-in-all, a fine job.
'Thank you Jurgen.' I cheered, accepting it. 'How about leaning back on one of these chairs, Jurgen? I think we can afford to relax a little.' That we did, and I took a sip of the rum, and well, I found it rather lovely. It was sweet, tart, and refreshing. Perfect for the awful temperature right now.
'You should!' Felicia agreed, and only then did I realize she had forgone her white robes in favour of white swimwear, lying front first on her pool chair. If you can call her scantily clad "bikini" proper swimwear*277. I mean, despite her mechadendrites, it fits rather snuggly on her. Almost suggestive, even*278. 'I've never been this relaxed since forever!' Well, I can only imagine considering the absolute havoc we went through during the Second Siege of Perlia. Jurgen looked at me, and I nodded.
'As the Emperor Wills.' He monotonously stated, lying on the chair himself. I can't help but share an empathetic look with Jurgen. For an Ice Worlder like him, this must have been utterly unbearable. Still, vacation is vacation, and I will be an outright fool to not enjoy the limited time I have. Yes, this is the life. I definitely deserve this, and so much more! So, I foolishly decided to close my eyes.
'Hello Ciaphas.' Damn it Amberley. I reopened my eyes, and my jaw almost dropped. My word, what she was wearing was…it was… 'I trust you are impressed? Felicia made this as per my specifications.' She was in bloody power armour!
'Amberley?' I tested, covering my eyes with sunglasses. 'What, exactly, is happening?'
'Later.' Oh, now she's teasing. 'Our guests are arriving shortly. I advise you to get dressed. I have laid out proper clothing for our excursion into the jungle.' Oh, just bloody great. Just when I'm getting nice and comfortable!
After getting dressed, I was directed to a large, olive drab command tent. I found it rather silly we were to be briefed there instead of a room within the building…with proper air conditioning. Oh, if I had my way! Unfortunately, I did not and I, very reluctantly, forced myself to plaster a smile on my face and march towards the tent. Once inside, I discovered five chairs; all of which had been occupied by the orange-clad penals. Those penals are in the very room as I was, and they were all costumed maniacs and mutants at that. I'm feeling a little headache growing, and I just hope it goes away soon.
Sparing the penals a glance, I could count about two people I could trust to be somewhat sane; that being the man with the goatee and the other one with large sideburns. The others, the two females and the mutant, are absolutely bonkers mental. One had this crazed look in her eyes, the other looks entirely homicidal, and the mutant is a bloody lizardman. I could only think about writing my obituary, because they are going to get me killed.
'Commissar.' A large, dark skinned woman said, approaching me. 'I am Amanda Waller. Welcome to Puerto Rico.'
'Thank you.' I said, demurely. She seems like the no-nonsense type like Zyvan. 'Though, I do wish I could arrive in less pressing matters.'
'There will be time for vacation later.' She replied, more offhandedly than actually dismissive of me. 'Might as well wait until your colleague arrives.' Meaning Amberley, and quite possibly Felicia. They did arrive shortly, and the meeting began with Amanda Waller glaring at those assembled before her in a way that I would have beaten out of my brats because it would have gotten them killed.
'This is Le République de Vallée Verte. A former French colony turned thorn-in-our-backs since 1954.' She began, and I suppose I would have turned her out if she wasn't so taciturn with her information. 'At first, we had set out several outposts and covert safehouses on the island to keep an eye on Président Henri Benome Omer, but those have gone silent.' Waller turned on a projector to emphasize the point, which I thought wholly unnecessary. 'We sent in a reconnaissance team of special forces to investigate, but we lost communication with them two days ago.'
'So, what's that to do with us?' The sane man said, and it was a good point. 'Why not leak some info to Le Président and have him spend his men on the job? No need to involve us.' Yes! He's absolutely right! This has nothing to do with us! Let's just do his idea, and we can all go home!
'That is where you are wrong.' Emperor damn it! 'This situation demands our attention, especially when an enemy unknown has eliminated our best special forces.' Damn their pride! 'The United States Government cannot, will not, and refuses to accept that a technologically inferior nation could do in its best.' I looked at Amberley, who shared a look with me. It was one of those apologetic looks she gets when she wants me to do something. Oh ho ho, you will definitely owe me after this! 'Society has given up on you, but not the United States Government. They believe you have the necessary, and valuable, skills to make a difference.' That's groxshit. 'This is where you come in. I am enlisting you convicts into the United States Special Forces.'
'Pass.' A woman with wintery hair stated, remarkably unamused. I would too, if I were any young and didn't know any better. There really isn't any choice in this.
'Task Force X is a Black Ops Strike Team.' The darkskinned woman pressed forth as if nobody interrupted her. 'Criminals with no hope for release, serving as agents in impossible missions.' Now that got everyone's attention. Succeed, and I will shave off time from your sentence. Fail, and you'll be too dead to care.' What "brilliant" incentive. This will totally ensure their guns will be pointed at you once your back is turned, and I'll be first on the firing line. 'Any other stupid questions?'
'Yeah, who're the kids?' The man with the friendly mutton chops asked, his "English" utterly mangled. 'They don't seem to belong with the rest of us, let alone you lot.'
'Well, the one before you is Commissar Ciaphas Cain. He's there to keep you in line.' She began, beginning the process of painting a target on my back. Thank you, Amanda Waller. You just killed me. 'If you don't listen to what he says, he will blow you up with the nanotechnology at your neck.'
'What nanotech?' The lizard-like mutant asked, surprising me. It can talk?!
'An explosive with the strength of a hand grenade and the size of a grain of rice.' Now, she's gloating. 'With some assistance from Magos, over here.' No Felicia, don't blush! Bad, that'll make you a target! 'So, if you do anything to the Commissar, you die. You try to kill him, you die. Hell, even saying the correct answer too slowly for his liking, you die.' Oh, now she's smiling and looking in my direction. Oh, they are going to kill me! This is the type of actions that would get any Commissar killed by their own men, and what I try to beat out of the heads of my students.
'Backing him up is his aide, Gunner Ferik Jurgen.' She continued to prattle on about Jurgen, which would have been rather nice if it wasn't meant to put a target on his back. 'Which brings me to Inquisitor Amberley Vail. She is your Commanding Officer through the duration of your mission. You will listen to her orders, or else, the Commissar will blow your heads off.' Oh c'mon, now their attention is back on me again!
'Thank you, Director Waller.' Amberley said, finally taking the attention back on her. We are lucky. The enemy is currently in a state of civil war. As such, we can move with relative impunity to go to our objectives unhindered.' Her grin grew wide. 'Get in, investigate, collect or destroy data, and get out. Simple job, right?'
'So we are getting reduced time on our sentences for an escort job?' The man with the goatee said, eyes wide. Come to think of it, everyone else's eyes went wide too.
'Ma'am!' The man with the friendly mutton chops immediately stood up, almost cheerful in that regard. Perhaps prisons in this world are filled to the brim with madmen that he saw an opportunity to escape it. I wouldn't blame him if I were in his shoes. 'I volunteer for this immensely dangerous mission, if it means I get to leave prison early.'
'Me too, it sounds like fun!' Added the lunatic with the pigtails. Better keep an eye out for this one.
'Wonderful.' Amberley cheered, before checking her watch. 'We will commence the operation at 2200 hours, so I advise you to get geared up, practice at the range, train, and get some rest. You'll need it.' She then turned to me. 'And the Commissar here will be watching over you for the time being.' Amberley, what the frak did you get me into*280?!
I am now the official babysitter of my five penals, all of whom are none too pleased to see me (sans the lunatic named Harley Quinn). I couldn't help but dread when I discovered I was to stay in uniform and watch over and get to know each of the members of my "Team". Hilarious. This was not a team by any means! This is my eventual homicide waiting to happen. Especially from either Waylon Jones or Louise Lincoln. Now, seeing as I was given a "choice" to pick who I'd see first, the safest option for me was Floyd Lawton. He seems to be the most rational and calm individual I'd ever seen. He was at the firing range, and I must say that his marksmanship is top notch.
'Excellent shot.' I remarked, breaking the ice. If I could get him over to my side, I would be able to have an effective man that can cover Jurgen and my backs when the going gets tough. In a way, he reminds me of Sorel. May even be a better shot than him too. 'Just about the best I've ever seen.' Predictably, he puffs out his chest.
'What can I say, they don't call me Deadshot for nothing.' He replied, back to the range. 'So what are you doing here kid?'
'Officially, I am to get to know the team.' I stated, making sure my tone was my "by-the-books" tone. I then dropped it once I saw him quirk his eyebrows. 'Though, to be completely honest with you, I'm worried I'm getting a little rusty and–' He started laughing.
'Yeah, I get you.' Floyd said. 'I wouldn't trust them with my back either.' A good start. 'You got a gun in mind?'
'I'm told Felicia has weapons to my specifications here.' Or rather, Amberley's specifications. It was only then did I spot a box with my name on it. I opened it up, revealing a brand new chainsword and some brightly coloured gun. A note was on it.
Sorry about the colour Ciaphas, but the shell of this "Nerf blaster" was the most ideal shape to build a laspistol from. It looks ridiculous, but trust me when I say that it'll work. Even blessed it with sacred oils, just in case.
–Felicia Tayber
Well, it's better than nothing. Though, Floyd only looked at it weirdly. 'The hell is that thing?' He said, with rightful skepticism. I would too, if it were anyone else. So I decided to show off and aimed at the same target Floyd was using. 'Hey, that's over 30 yards away, you'll never–' My shot struck exactly where his slug had hit, which was a surprise because I was aiming about a few centimetres above his shot. It was a mute point, considering the lasbolt utterly blew the wood target off of its stand. 'Nevermind, colour me impressed.'
'Lucky shot.' I assured him, which brought a smile to his face. 'Still got to work on the sights.'
'Kid, with the power coming from that thing, I doubt you even need to aim.' He snorted, which I suppose he had a point. More technologically primitive worlds wouldn't know the power of the lasgun until they used one itself. 'What say we have a little shooting contest?' Oh? 'I win, well, you ask your girlfriend to disable the bomb in my neck. You win, well–' Well, I don't intend to blow him up, but I can turn this to my advantage.
'Then I will ask you to provide protection for Amberley, Jurgen, and myself.' I said, extending a hand. 'I'm sure this is agreeable for you?' He shook my hand.
'Sure kid.'
To my surprise, I managed to somehow scrape a win*281 with my passable skills. Still, a win is a win and I now have a bodyguard for Amberley, Jurgen, and myself. Unfortunately, with time still on the clock, I had to go visit the others. Much to my misfortune, George Harkness had thought it a good idea to speak with Harley. A sane man had thought to pass the time with an absolute loon. If anything, it beats getting devoured by the mutant, or frozen solid by the other lunatic. At least she wasn't some Emperor-botherer, I suppose she'll make for some form of conversation, as unlikely as that sounds.
'Afternoon.' I greeted politely, tipping the brim of my commissar peaked cap. George gave me a simple nod, while Harley was ear-to-ear with smiles. 'While I can't say we could meet in such conditions, at least we can enjoy the sun.'
'Yeah!' Harley said, arms raised. 'He's right Boomer!' Boomer? 'We should get out there and get some tans!' What? I looked at George, who shrugged. Fair enough. 'Oh, and clothes. We should buy some clothes too.'
'You can do the tanning Harls.' George replied, leaning against the wall. 'You can use one too.'
'I believe they will give you some clothes.' I calmly stated, a tad bewildered by where this conversation was going.
'Please, as if I'll misappropriate military equipment for my own purposes.' George and I blankly stared at her. It didn't take long for her to break down laughing. 'You should have seen the looks on your faces! Priceless.'
'Yes, I'm sure.' I drawled, unable to help rolling my eyes.
'Speaking of, you're a Commissar, right?' Harley, where are you going with this? 'Like one of those, "pew pew" you die if you don't charge headfirst into the enemy, type of guys right?' Oh by the God-Emperor! 'I mean, you already have guns on all our foreheads too!' Damn you Amanda Waller! 'What's to stop ya from blasting our heads when all this is over?'
'Well, there are only eight of us going on this mission.' I began, trying to think on the spot that doesn't sound like I'm trying to make a few more human shields between me and the ones shooting at me. 'Quite frankly, I don't really want to be here.' That got surprised looks from them, as I had hoped. 'Clearly, this is all quite distasteful but it is a win-win situation. We do our jobs, you get a reduced sentence, I get a few things on my end-' Like my general safety and comfort. Though, it seemed enough for George to punch my shoulder, laughing.
'I bloody knew you weren't like the other "heroes".' He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. 'They always go on and on about how they want to save the world; or how it's the right thing to do!'
'Ooh, ooh!' Was there an echo here?' Or how Bats is all like, "I am Vengeance! I am the Night! I AM BATMAN!" before swinging off to some alleyway to beat up some mooks.' What? No, she must surely be exaggerating*282. Batman has always been calm, collected, and rational. He would never say such a thing.
'You said it Harls!' George said, before forcing me to sit. 'Now, here's the deal. You do everything to keep Waller off our backs, we'll make sure to keep you nice and safe.'
'Simple enough.' I replied with a bit more confidence than what I'm actually feeling. Just to seal the deal, I pull out a decanter. 'Care for some rum?'
'Now we're talking.' George grinned, and Harley was still celebrating. 'Let's get smashed!'
After a few hours, or so, I learned quite a bit. Mainly, that George was something of a lightweight and he drank himself asleep. He'll have a nasty hangover soon enough. As for Harley, well, the only thing I can comment is just how terrifying the women in my life are prone to be.
'Say, Cai, can I call ya Cai.' Before I could dissuade her otherwise, she rambled on. 'Y'know, from all the stories you say, you are really accomplished, aren'tcha?'
'Yes, well, not without the help of others.' I demurely stated. 'I wouldn't have gone anywhere without them.'
'See, that's where I think you're wrong.' She was drunk, so I didn't think much of it besides that of a drunken ramble of an Asylum Patient. 'I mean, after all, Hero of the Imperium, surely you can't help but to…doubt your own abilities.' And it was only then I realized she wasn't drunk. 'Hell, that modest routine of yours was pretty good, but you may have overplayed your hand there, Cai.' Oh no. 'I mean, don'tcha think, Mister Imposter Syndrome?'
'N-Now see here!' I said, failing to hide my stutter. 'I know not what goes through your head, but I am no imposter.'
'I got no idea what you could possibly mean, Cai.' Now, she's threatening me. Damn her, she's good. But, who would believe a lunatic? 'But think of it this way, you could act like yourself around me, your secret's safe.' At that moment, I felt my heart constraint.
'I see.' I really didn't. 'Well, I'll take that under consideration.' I stood up. 'But, I must be going.'
'Sure thing Cai.' Please stop. 'And I'll make sure Boomer here ain't got too bad a hangover when we get ready to go!' And I walked as fast as I could manage. Such dangerous women*283.
With some reluctance, I approached the last two of the team. Lincoln Louise and Waylon Jones. The latter of whom seems to enjoy his infamy and tries to eat people. I supposed the latter could be alright, if not for her propensity to kill people by freezing them to death. How Valhallan. At the very least, I have to get them on my side.
'What do you want?' Louise asked, with justifiable fury. I raised my hands placatingly.
'Nothing of import, just wanted to talk.' I said, making sure I kept my tone levelled, though I worry it may fail me after my encounter with Harley.
'What's there to talk about?' Waylon snorted, accent rather thick. Where from though*284? 'You threaten us, we piss you off, you blow us up. Isn't that how it works?'
'Yes, I'm sure with most people, it would.' I replied, not willing to admit I wanted to do that to them. 'But I'm sure we can work out a deal.' He was just about to stand when Lincoln waved him down.
'Go on.' She insisted, and I couldn't help my smile.
'I suppose you would want to be properly compensated in this mission.' I began, making sure they were still interested. 'I have, in possession, of some million dollars and nowhere to spend it.' Good, let them think me a rich nitwit. 'I'm sure you would like to have it as compensation.'
'Make it two million each.' Louise said, in which I readily agreed. I had more than enough capital*285.
'Deal.' I said, shaking her hand. It may have been a mistake on my part, seeing as my hand feels quite frozen. She grinned.
'Just try and cross me.' She dared, which I am quite unwilling to do. I would rather not indulge her insanity any longer than I have too. Still, I have done my obligation and met with every member of my team. I could only really trust three of them, so if the worst comes to pass, I can feed them to Waylon, shoot Louise, and run off with Jurgen and Amberley at my side. The perfect plan. Now to get some rest.
As it turns out, there will be no rest for me as I was immediately taken under the arm, thrown into a helicopter with Jurgen and my three favourites, and buggered off to this íle de Vallée Vert*286. At least I had Jurgen's familiar bouquet to keep me company. Unfortunately, it also comes with his air sickness, and I had to make sure he stayed near the door, in the event he does decide to throw up. Looking around in the cabin, I could tell the others weren't enjoying this ride either. Except for Harley, who was just happy to be here. At least they were wearing appropriate clothing for the weather. Unlike some people (Catachans), they knew to wear shirts. Harley was pushing it, finding it necessary to bear her midriff for all to see. Though, she was wearing a helmet, which is something.
We travelled in relative silence, which was fine with me. After all, there was nothing much to talk about. We only had the darkness, and red light, to keep ourselves company and I was content to get as much sleep as I could. That is, until George tapped my boots.
'Ya sure you wanna go in there looking like that?' And he was partially correct. My uniform is rather conspicuous in how dark it was.
'Apparently, it had been redesigned to be breathable in the jungle.' I said, only then realizing that Amberley might have been lying*287 and only had me in it to quickly identify me*288.
'Sure it is.' He snorted, leaning back. 'Well, don't come crawling to me when things get hot.'
'You're wearing a long coat too.' I pointed out, getting a hoot from Harley.
'Oi, fuck off.' George said petulantly.
'Everyone just shut up.' Floyd warned. 'I'm trying to sleep.' Thank you, and I best do so as well. It was a glorious ten minutes of rest until the aircraft was hovering in place, followed by a green light. Bloody great. The doors opened, and I was forcibly ejected out of the craft, using only the ropes to break my fall. Twenty metres away was Amberley, aiming at the jungle with her left arm bolters. Just as quickly as we disembarked, so too did the helicopters leave for base. Now, we are on our own.
'Alright, everyone gather up.' Amberley ordered, and to my surprise, everyone did as told. Did those nanotech bombs come with a compliance motivator? 'We are about twenty kilometres north from our destination. Stick together and we can leave this place.' I thumbed my palm. Something about this wasn't right about this plan. It was too easy, and nothing is easy with Amberley*289.
'Do make sure to watch your surroundings.' I warned. 'If you think something is too quiet–'
'Oh, then that means it's a trap!' Harley interruption was what I was going to say. How'd she know*290?
'What does that even mean?' George demanded, letting me explain.
'Usually, in the jungle, we would hear any kind of sounds. Obviously, since animals of all types live here.' I explained. 'If, however, you hear nothing, as in complete silence, then that means no animal is there. If no animal is in the surrounding area–' I trailed off, seeing George's eyes widen. 'Now, I believe that's enough talk.' I turned to Amberley. 'If you'd kindly?'
'Thank you, Commissar.' She said, taking point. I waited until everyone went ahead of me before following along. If there was an ambush, the first and middle part of the team would be ripped apart. I and Jurgen would survive while Amberley would rip them to shreds with her bolter. To my astonishment, we didn't come across any trouble, not even a venomous snake! My old paranoia must have kicked in then, since I had Jurgen get his Melta ready in the inevitable case that something strong, intimidating, and utterly vicious will appear to take a bite out of us.
'We're here.' Amberley alerted. 'Lincoln. Jones. Take the Southernmost side of the encampment. Lawton, go high and provide overwatch. Harkness. Quinn. With us. We are going to launch an assault here. In the utter chaos, they will most likely run South, as the terrain to the West and East is more difficult. I'm sure Lincoln and Jones would enjoy killing all that try to run.' That got smiles from them. 'Get ready.'
While everyone got ready, I scanned the Outpost and I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I mean, it was little more than a small gathering of huts. Perhaps I'm overthinking, but I would have expected something more*291. Something like a cement building, augur arrays, and air conditioning*292. I was broken from my thoughts when Amberley gave the order.
'Go!' I saw George and Harley crouch and walk closer to the actual huts. I mimicked their approach, until we were within a few feet of the nearest guard. Thankfully, his back was turned. George raised some sort of V-shaped throwing knife*293. I clutched his arm, shaking my head. Amberley wanted something loud, and this approach is too quiet. I, for one, won't mind such an approach, but to upset an Inquisitor by not following her plan could prove fatal for me. I looked around, and found an old automobile. Its rear tire was removed, strapped to a belt, and designed to pull water to the surface. Rather ingenious and perfect for me.
'Explosives.' I asked Harley, who seemed to have followed my train of thought and gave me as much as I could.
'I like you Cai.' She quietly cheered, putting it onto the back of the vehicle. George finally caught on and went over to cut the belt. The four of us lifted the vehicle's trunk up and then let it drop. It had the desired effect, and what resulted was a runaway vehicle, heading straight into a large encampment where a large gathering was eating. One tried to jump into the driver's seat, but it was too late. The truck detonated, the resulting explosion wiped out the mess hall. Harley and George hollered and laughed, which resulted in the two rushing in without care of their person. I was wrong. George is as insane as the rest.
Now, I wanted to hang back and watch the carnage. Truly, I did, but when one of the enemy started to level his weapon on me, I reacted on instinct and shot him. Thus, I was unofficially involved in this mess so I had to go in. I stuck to going building-to-building. For starters, I wasn't exposed as much and my chainsword and laspistol made short work of those who were inside.
'Watch out Commissar!' Jurgen yelled, and I ducked. Just in time too, because a ridiculously thick blade flew over my hat.
'Stick around!' Seriously? Did she really just say that? I turned around and slashed her with my chainsword.
'Thanks for the offer.' I said, raising my laspistol and shot another soldier across the door and fired. 'But I've got places to be.' Suddenly, I heard the rumbling and the shifting of cogs. 'Tanks.'
'I'm ready, Commissar.' My faithful aide said, much to my expectations. The cannon shot its main weapon, and I patted Jurgen on the back. 'Follow me.' I left the building, and to my fortune, the main weapon was not aimed at me. It didn't even have sponsons! 'Jurgen! Melt that Frakker!' He aimed his multicoloured melta gun and fired. This was followed by a secondary set of implosions, sending the entire turret into the air. Uh oh. 'Jurgen run!' and we ran for safety. A loud thump tripped over my legs, landing face first into the ground. Turning around, I saw the turret land right next to my boot.
'Wow.'
The mission was done. We got what we wanted, but I didn't quite know what was making me to thumb my palms. Something else is at play here.
'Something's watching us.' Waylon growled in his usual animalistic tone. 'I can smell it.'
'Where?' I tried, trying to follow his gaze.
'I lost it.' He hissed, shaking his head, 'But something was definitely watching us.' I don't like this.
'Oi, we got a runner!' George cried, and as he warned, a young lad was running into the forest. Amberley was already running for it. With no choice, so did I. I didn't know exactly where I was going, but I had Jurgen with me so everything was right with the world. It didn't take long for me to finally stop running to gather my surroundings.
'I think we're lost, Commissar.' Jurgen pointed out our obvious situation. Truth be told, I wasn't enjoying our situation either. Suddenly, we heard a scream…followed by an onrush of weapons fire.
'Amberley!' I gathered my strength and rushed towards the sound. More weapons fire followed, alongside explosives. I pushed myself further, finding the others gathered in a firing line. I quickly joined in the fray, firing as quickly as I could, as Jurgen did with his Meltagun. We kept firing, only stopping to load and reload. A few moments later, we ceased firing and the only thing I felt was, well, embarrassment. I just committed deforestation, and we lost Waylon Jones.
'So, anybody mind explaining to me what just happened?' I asked, finally getting everyone's attention on me.
'Something came out of the forest and killed Waylon Jones.' Amberley replied, getting a nod from Louise. Brilliant. Of course something did. I spared the deceased a look, and it looked familiar, in a way.
'I saw it.' Louise spat, glaring at me.
'Well?' I pressed.
'It was some sort of freak.' She said, which literally told me nothing. There were plenty of those around this world. I gazed at the body again. 'It looked like some sorta one-eyed skeleton with a green eye.' How ludicrous, as expected of a lunatic. Then after a moment to think about it, I felt a chill rush through my body as I fell to my knees. No, it couldn't be, could it?
'Ciaphas?' Amberley knelt beside me, clutching my shoulder. 'Ciaphas, what is it?' Then, the coin dropped.
'It's a Deathmark.'
—FOOTNOTES—
271. Oh, was I not enough for you last night?
272. No, no it does not.
273. On my lap.
274. My bed, Ciaphas Cain. You were sleeping in my bed.
275. They seem to believe that their muscles are enough to keep disease out. That includes the women of that Death world. Honestly, the ones I've been with are such a bore.
276. Rude, it just so happened that I did prepare that recaf. And I used it because it was convenient, and I needed you awake.
277. Let it be known that Ciaphas Cain is ignorant of the latest in fashion. Which doesn't surprise me.
278. Ciaphas Cain is being generous. I assure you. And really? Almost suggestive? Almost? What does that even mean?
279. Body armour, and I had Felicia play around with the armour plates to be a tad more resistant to slug rounds.
280. Oh please, you've done worse.
281. Please, I was in attendance to ensure your victory, Ciaphas Cain. You're lucky too, it was a close defeat, and I am not yet ready to give up my investments just yet.
282. To my surprise, this did happen. Early in his career, he did reportedly say something along those lines after suffering some sort of gas attack. Another person I have to look up.
283. Well, Doctor Harleen Quinzel is a licensed psychiatrist, and a brilliant one at that. She is also plenty deadly in her own right. As well as a great woman to introduce me to the Gotham Underworld. And a great kisser. We sometimes have coffee.
284. He's from New Jersey.
285. More than enough of my capital. Still, four million dollars is nothing.
286. Oh, stop being so dramatic. I didn't throw you into the helicopter. I gently pushed you into Jurgen, who then dragged you in. Honestly, you make me sound like a brute. Though, out of the five, I do agree with Cain's assessment. I only trusted Floyd Lawton, George Harkness, and Harleen Quinzel. Lucky for you, I didn't throw you to the wolves during that ride.
287. I am not!
288. I would have thought that obvious.
289. I can't tell if that was an insult, or a compliment. I chose to think of it as the latter.
290. Quick answer, holofilms.
291. Like what?
292. What part of covert don't you understand?
293. Those are called Boomerangs. Why do you think Harleen calls him Boomer?
