Crumpled Horn Plot Bunnies

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Harry Potter or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.


Year 3...

Ron had been kidnapped. At least, they thought he had. But Sirius Black had intended no harm. Nor did Remus Lupin, his apparent confederate.

Rather, Sirius had wanted to reveal the true traitor that night. The one who had betrayed Harry's parents to their death.

"I wasn't the Secret-Keeper," Sirius said, "it was Peter Pettigrew. An Animagus... And your rat."

Which is when Snape burst into the room, casting off Harry's invisibility cloak. He disarmed Lupin immediately of his wand, smirking widely.

"And what do I find?" Snape asked. "Black, and the werewolf. Conspiring-"

"He-He might not be, I mean, please, Professor," Hermione tried.

"MISS GRANGER. Would you kindly shut up?" Snape hissed. "I'll summon the Dementors. They've been seeking you, Black. They have a little Kiss for you. Yes, maybe they'll have a kiss for the werewolf, too."

"You fool," Remus muttered, "you would condemn an innocent man to death for a petty schoolboy grudge?"

"SILENCE!" Snape shouted. "You will surrender or-!"

Harry got in front of Remus, and looked intently into Snape's eyes. Snape narrowed his own.

"Get out of my way, Potter, or I'll-"

"Do you want to avenge her, or not?" Harry asked.

"Who-?" Snape asked, but Harry narrowed his eyes. His emerald green eyes.

"You know who I'm talking about," Harry said softly.

Dead silence. Snape went pale in rage, his eyes narrowed to deadly slits.

"What do you-?!"

"Do. You want. To avenge her. Or not?" Harry asked again, "it wasn't hard to figure out, you know. My aunt is a drunk, and very talkative. Almost nice. Told me about Spinner's End. After that, I just had to sneak around. Read. Listen in. Learn. When someone is trying to kill you, it focuses the mind wonderfully on gathering information."

Remus and Sirius both stared in disbelief. Hermione and Ron were equally shocked, as Harry maintained his calm.

"I put it together," he stated, "so do you want to avenge her... Or not? One spell. All it takes to reveal an Animagus. Cast it."

Snape was silent for a long, terrible moment. He then looked over at Ron.

"Let the rat go, Weasley," Snape ordered.

"Do as he says, Ron," Harry added.

Ron slowly and reluctantly let Scabbers go. The rat fled frantically, trying to get to a hole in the wall... But a spell from Snape and the rat expanded into a sallow, nine fingered, balding little man.

"Petricus Totalus!" Hermione shouted, and the man was locked in his undignified position.

"Lupin," Snape stated, "you forgot your potion. Go into the basement, we'll all get out of here."

He undid Lupin and Black's bindings. Both stared in disbelief at Snape.

"Potter, go with your friends back to the entrance, we'll be there shortly," Snape ordered.

"But Professor-"

"You do not want to be here with a werewolf on the loose," Snape said. He turned and looked into Harry's eyes. "No one else you care about will come to harm this night. I swear on... On her," he said quietly.

Harry stared back... And slowly nodded. Together, Hermione and Harry got Ron up, and they hobbled out the door.

The door shut. Snape handed Lupin back his wand. He looked back and forth between Black and Lupin, the two staring at one another and Snape like they didn't know if this was real or not.

"Well Snape? What now?" Sirius asked, glaring in surprise and suspecting some trick from his until now foe.

"What's now? Very simple," Snape said, rolling up his sleeves as he looked down upon the helpless, terrified Pettigrew. He allowed himself a grim smile.

"I get the first ten minutes."


Honestly, all this crap Rowling put in about Snape's unrequited love just turned him into a creepy stalker. Childhood friends with Lily? Sure. But him betraying the Potters to Ol' Tom in exchange for Lily being spared was pretty horrific. It would have much better if Snape had passed the knowledge along, not knowing the significance, Pettigrew betrayed the Potters, and only then did Snape realize his actions had led to the death of Lily. Sure, it's a little cliche but cliches work for a REASON. Unrequited love works a HELL Of a lot better without actively, knowingly betraying the family of the person you allegedly love to their deaths. And really, Snape buying that Voldemort would spare Lily for him? Again, quite pathetic writing. But that's just my opinion.