Crumpled Horn Plot Bunnies

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Harry Potter or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.


A classic trope of course is Harry becoming Lord Black after Year 5 (because Rowling took so damn long with Book 6) and gaining immense political and financial power. Most fanfics are written by teenagers who feel powerless, after all, and who are sick of Harry being a powerless plaything of the powers that be. But why not a different take? Written with Typhonis...


"And the new Minister of Magic is...Harry Potter?!"

"How did he get elected? I mean he is still in school!"

"Apparently he was the only legal candidate on the ticket. It seems forcing him to partake in the Tri Wizard Tournament emancipated him."

"But a child cannot be Minister of Magic!"

"No rule against it. They must be of age. Must be of high moral standing, they must be a citizen, from birth, of Magical Britain. Otherwise...there's nothing."

"What about Dillage, and Hornwrecker?"

"Dillage is a member of the Order of the Pheonix. Hornwrecker is a marked Death eater. Both are members of known extra govermental entities and are thus banned from running...it was the last law Fudge signed."

"He hasn't even graduated from Hogwarts yet!"

"Nothing in the law about graduating from Hogwarts. A person in good standing. Not part of some shadowy group, must be of age, never sent to Azkaban."

"We're buggered. What will the Continentals think?"

"Have we ever cared about them before?"

"We do when our new Minister of Magic is a teenager!"

"Bugger-Wait, wait! We can salvage this!"

"How?"

"We'll just surround him with lots of advisors, the right sorts-"

"Most of those are the sorts of people he beats the hell out of."

"Oh God, oh God... Is there anything good about this?!"

"I'm trying to think of something... It's just not coming..."

"So... He's the new Minister of Magic then?"

"I think we established that, yes."

"... Ten sickles says Dumbledore's portrait flips his shit when we tell him."

"You're on!"


Harry blinks. He blinks again at the Ministry flunky.

"Uh... Hermione? Help?"

"Power!" Hermione crowed. "UNLIMITED POWER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

At everyone's stares, she blushed heavily.

"That's why you weren't written in," Ron quipped.