Through Thick and Thin
The Unicorn and the Wasp
Thanks to AchilleasGOD and grapejuice101 for favouriting and following this story.
The peace and quiet of the garden of an English country house was suddenly disturbed by the sound of the TARDIS materialising. The Doctor stepped out, followed by Donna and Shareen. "Ah, smell that air." the Doctor said, taking a deep lungful of the air. "Grass an' lemonade... and a little bit of mint. A hint of mint, must be the 1920's."
"You can tell what year it is just by smellin'?" Donna asked
"Oh, yeah!" the Doctor replied
"Oh, you liar." Shareen snorted. "You just saw that old car comin' up the driveway over there." She pointed to a vintage car approaching the house with a rather posh-looking man at the wheel.
As he pulled up outside the house, a butler and a young footman came out to greet him. "The professor's baggage, Richard, step lively." the butler ordered the footman, who rushed off to comply while the driver got out of his car and approached the house. "Good afternoon, Professor Peach." the butler greeted him.
"Hello Greeves, old man." the professor answered, then he saw a blonde vicar in his early forties ride up on a bicycle. "Ah, Reverend." he greeted the vicar
"Professor Peach, beautiful day." the vicar answered, dismounting his bike. "The Lord's in his heaven, all's right with the world."
"Reverend Golightly." Greeves greeted the vicar. "Lady Eddison requests you make yourselves comfortable in your rooms. Cocktails will be served on the lawn from half past four."
"You go on up, I have to check something in the library." Peach told Golightly
"Oh?"
"Alone."
"This is supposed to be a party!" Golightly remarked. "All this work will be the death of you."
The time travellers had been watching all this from the bushes. Once the men had all gone inside the house, they came out of hiding. "Never mind Planet Zog, a party in the 1920's, that's more like it!" Donna grinned
"Well, as long as the people round here aren't arseholes like the people in 1913 were, then I'm game." Shareen said
"Problem is, we haven't been invited." the Doctor remarked, "Oh wait, yes we have!" He grinned, pulling out his psychic paper.
"I think we'd better get changed." Donna said to Shareen
"I think ya right." Shareen concurred, and both women dashed off back to the TARDIS.
~8~
Half-an-hour later, the Doctor was impatiently waiting for the two women. "C'mon, we'll be late for cocktails!" he moaned, tapping on the door.
The door opened and Donna and Shareen stepped out, both women attired in 1920's flapper dresses; Donna's brown and Shareen's black. "What d'ya think?" Donna asked. "Flappers or slappers?"
"Flappers." the Doctor replied. "You both look lovely."
"Why thank you, Peacock." Shareen smirked. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to either of us. C'mon then, party."
The trio walked around to the back of the house, where the servants were getting everything ready. "Look sharp, we have guests!" the housekeeper ordered her staff
"Good afternoon." the Doctor waved as they walked up.
The young footman from earlier approached them. "Drink, sir, ma'ams?" he asked
"Sidecar, please." Donna told him
"Same for me." Shareen added
"Lime and soda." the Doctor requested
The footman nodded and walked off to see to it just as a stately blonde woman walked up, clearly the lady of the house. "May I announce, Lady Clemency Eddison." Greeves announced
"Lady Eddison!" the Doctor greeted, approaching the women and extending his hand for a shake.
"Forgive me," Lady Eddison said as she eyed the trio suspiciously, "but who exactly might you be? And what are you doing here?"
"I'm the Doctor." the Time Lord replied. "This is Miss Shareen Costello of the Southwark Costellos and Miss Donna Noble of the Chiswick Nobles."
"Mi'lady." Shareen greeted in a decent attempt at a plummy accent.
"Good afternoon, m'lady." Donna said in a comical attempt at a plummy accent. "Topping day, wot? Spiffing! Top hole!"
"No, no, no, no, no, don't do that, don't." the Doctor whispered quietly to her, then he pulled out his psychic paper and showed it to Lady Eddison. "We were thrilled to receive your invitation, mi'lady. We met at the Ambassador's reception."
"Doctor, how could I forget you?" Clemency said, apparently remembering him. "But one must be sure, with the Unicorn on the loose."
"A unicorn? Brilliant! Where?" the Doctor asked, looking round as if he expected a unicorn to appear out of nowhere.
"The Unicorn." Clemency elaborated. "The jewel thief. And nobody knows who he is. He's just struck again, snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose."
"Oh, dear. How tiresome." Shareen said in her plummy impression.
"You sound like Lady Penelope." Donna commented quietly to her as the footman handed them their drinks.
"That's the point." Shareen replied, slipping back to her normal accent. "I used to do a Penelope impression for the fun of it. I can do a Texan an' all."
Just then, two more people arrived. One was an elderly man in a wheelchair while the other was a younger man who appeared to be his son. "May I announce, the Colonel Hugh Curbishley, the Honourable Roger Curbishley." Greeves introduced
"My husband and son." Clemency said to the time travellers.
"Forgive me for not rising." Hugh said. "Never been the same ever since that flu epidemic back in '18."
"My word!" Roger said to Donna, "You are a super lady!"
"Oh, I like the cut of your jib." Donna grinned. "Chin-chin!"
Then Roger turned to Shareen. "And you, ma'am, are simply sublime!"
"Why, thank you." Shareen smirked, back to doing her Lady Penelope impression.
"Hello, I'm the Doctor." the Time Lord cut in, shaking Roger's hand.
"How d'you do?" Roger nodded
"Very well." the Doctor replied
The young footman approached Roger with a drink. "Your usual, sir?"
"Ah, thank you, Davenport." Roger replied, taking the drink. "Just how I like it."
"How come she's an Eddison, but her husband and son are Curbishley?" Donna asked the Doctor as Roger walked away.
"The Eddison title descends through her." the Doctor replied. "One day Roger will become a lord."
"Lord Eddison." Shareen nodded. "Hmm, blue bloods."
Then, a young dark-haired woman approached the garden. "Miss Robina Redmond." Greeves introduced
"She's the absolute hit of the social scene, a must." Clemency told the trio, then approached the newcomer. "Miss Redmond!"
"Spiffing to meet you at last, mi'lady." Miss Redmond replied. "What super fun!"
Reverend Golightly then approached. "Reverend Arnold Golightly." Greeves introduced
"Ah, Reverend!" Clemency greeted, shaking the vicar's hand. "How are you? I heard about the church last Thursday night. Those ruffians breaking in."
"You apprehended them, I hear." Hugh added
"As the Christian Fathers taught me, we must forgive their trespasses. Quite literally!" Golightly joked
"Some of these young boys deserve a decent thrashing." Roger remarked
"Couldn't agree more, sir." Davenport said with a meaningful look at Roger.
"Typical." Donna scoffed. "All the decent men are on the other bus."
"Ah well, his loss." Shareen shrugged.
"Now, mi'lady, what about this special guest you promised us?" Golightly asked Clemency
"Here she is." Clemency cheered, "A lady that needs no introduction." The Humans all applauded as a blonde women dressed in blue walked over to them
"No, no, please don't." the woman said, looking uncomfortable with the attention. "Thank you, Lady Eddison, there's no need." She walked over to the time travellers and extended a hand. "Agatha Christie."
"What about her?" Donna asked
"That's me."
The three time travellers' eyes all widened. "Nooo!" Donna gasped. "You're kidding!"
"Agatha Christie?" Shareen stared. "You're the Agatha Christie?! Oh, that is cosmic!" she grinned.
"Agatha Christie!" the Doctor grinned, shaking the famous author's hand excitedly. "I was just talkin' about you the other day. I said 'I bet she's brilliant'. I'm the Doctor, this is Shareen, and that's Donna. Oh, I love ya stuff. What a mind! You fool me every time. Well, almost every time. Well, once or twice. Well, once. But it was a good once!"
"You make a rather unusual couple." Agatha remarked, looking between the Doctor and Donna.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, we're not married." the Doctor said hastily
"We're not a couple." Donna added, while Shareen snickered.
"Well obviously." Agatha said, glancing at Donna's hand. "No wedding ring."
"Oh, you don't miss a trick!" the Doctor laughed
"I'd stay engaged if I were you two." Agatha remarked to Donna and Shareen. "The thrill is in the chase, never in the capture."
"Hmm, I'll have to remember that." Shareen replied.
"Mrs Christie, I'm glad you could come." Clemency said to Agatha. "I'm one of your greatest followers. I've read all six of your books. Is, ah, Mr Christie not joining us?"
"Is he needed?" Agatha answered stiffly. "Can't a woman make her own way in the world?"
"Don't give my wife ideas!" Hugh chortled
"Mrs Christie, I have a question. Why a Belgian detective?" Roger asked
"Belgians make lovely buns." Agatha replied, making the Humans laugh.
The Doctor meanwhile took a discarded newspaper and read it carefully.
"I say, where on Earth is Professor Peach?" Roger wandered. "He'd love to meet Mrs Christie."
"Said he was going to the library." Golightly shrugged
"Miss Chandrakala, would you go and collect the professor?" Clemency asked her housekeeper
"At once, mi'lady." Miss Chandrakala nodded, and went off to do so.
"The date on the newspaper." the Doctor said quietly to his companions
"What about it?" Donna asked
"It's the day Agatha Christie disappears." the Doctor replied. "She'd just discovered her husband was having an affair."
"Huh, ya wouldn't think that lookin' at her." Shareen remarked, watching Agatha mingling with the group.
"Well's she British and moneyed. That's what they do, they carry on." the Doctor explained. "Except for this one time. No one knows exactly what happened, she just vanished. Her car will be found tomorrow morning by the side of a lake. 10 days later, Agatha Christie turns up at a hotel in Harrogate. Said she'd lost her memory. She never spoke about the disappearance till the day she died, but whatever it was..."
"It's about to happen." Donna realised
"Right here, right now." the Doctor confirmed
Just then, Mrs Chandrakala came running out of the house, looking panic-stricken. "The professor! The library!" she screamed. "Murder! Murder!"
~8~
The Doctor was the first to reach the library, with Donna, Shareen and Agatha right behind him. Greeves followed them "Oh my goodness!" he gasped, seeing the body of Professor Peach lying face down on the floor.
The Doctor and his companions knelt down to examine the professor's body. "Bashed on the head, blunt instrument." the Doctor diagnosed then got up and examined some papers on the desk.
"His watch broke when he fell." Shareen added, checking the professor's watch. "He died at quarter past four."
Donna noticed a section of piping on the floor beside the body. "Bit of pipe." she noted. "Call me Hercule Poirot, but I reckon that's blunt enough."
Agatha bent down beside the fireplace and stealthily removed a piece of paper from the grate. "Nothing worth killing for in that lot." the Doctor said as he finished examining the papers. "Dry as dust."
"Hold on, body in the library?" Donna remarked, coming over to him. "I mean, Professor Peach, in the library, with the lead piping?"
"Life intimidates art." Shareen muttered as she joined them.
At that moment, the other members of the party all came piling into the room. "Gerald!" Clemency gasped, seeing the professor's body.
"Saints preserve us!" Golighty exclaimed, making a respectful gesture.
"Oh, how awful!" Redmond clasped a hand over her mouth
"Someone should call the police." Agatha determined
"Ya don't have to." the Doctor said, spinning round with his psychic paper in hand. "Chief Inspector Smith of Scotland Yard, knows as the Doctor. Miss Costello is the plucky young girl who helps me out and Miss Noble is my word on the streets."
"I say." Clemency stared at the Doctor's credentials
"Mrs Christie was right. Go into the sitting room. I will question each of you in turn." the Doctor ordered
"Come along, do as the Doctor says." Agatha said, shooing everyone out of the room, "Leave the room undisturbed."
Soon, the time travellers were the only ones left in the room. "'The plucky young girl who helps me out'?" Shareen glared at the Doctor
"No police women in 1926." the Doctor defended, kneeling down to examine something on the floor.
"I'll pluck you in a minute, Peacock!" Shareen growled
"Why don't we phone the real police?" Donna intervened
"Well, the last thing we want is PC Plod sticking his nose in." the Doctor replied, scraping something off the floor with a small stick. "Especially now I've found this. Morphic residue."
"Morphic? Doesn't sound very 1920's." Donna remarked
"It's left behind when certain species genetically recode." the Doctor explained
"So the murderer's an alien?" Shareen frowned
"Which means one of that lot is an alien in Human form." the Doctor stated
"Yeah, but think about it. There's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie." Donna commented
"So?" the Doctor replied, sniffing the residue, "Happens to me all the time."
"No, but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean, that's like meeting Charles Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts, at Christmas." Donna scoffed
"Actually, that did happen." Shareen told her, remembering Rose once telling her about the adventure with Charles Dickens and the Gelth in 1869 Cardiff.
"Oh, come on!" Donna snorted incredulously. "It's not like we could drive cross-country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy! Could we? Noddy's not real, is he? Tell me there's no Noddy."
"There's no Noddy." the Doctor said flatly
"Next thing ya know, you'll be telling me it's like Murder on the Orient Express and they all did it." Donna remarked as they stepped out into the hallway.
"Murder on the Orient Express?" Agatha asked, stepping out from an alcove where she'd been eavesdropping.
"Oh, yeah. One of ya best." Donna said to her
"But not yet." the Doctor whispered to Donna
"Marvellous idea though." Agatha remarked thoughtfully
"Yeah, tell ya what, Copyright: Donna Noble, yeah?" Donna said to her
"Anyway!" the Doctor cut in. "Agatha and I will question suspects. Donna, Shareen, you two search the bedrooms. Look for clues. Any more residue." he whispered and handed Shareen a magnifying glass. "You'll need this."
"For real, Peacock?" Shareen asked lamely
"Go on." the Doctor grinned. "You're ever so plucky!"
"Call me that one more time and I'm gonna shove this thing where the sun doesn't shine." Shareen scowled, holding the magnifying glass in a threatening way, then she and Donna set off upstairs.
"Right then," the Doctor said to Agatha, "solving a murder mystery with Agatha Christie, brilliant!"
"How like a man to have fun while there's disaster all around him." Agatha scowled
"Sorry, yeah." the Doctor cleared his throat. He was prone to getting carried away and forget about the situation at hand. He'd been the same during the adventure with Queen Victoria and the werewolf and had ultimately paid the price dearly for it.
"I'l work with you, gladly." Agatha told him, annoyed at his immature enjoyment of the situation. "But for the sake of justice. Not your own amusement."
"Yeah." the Doctor muttered as they headed towards the sitting room.
~8~
The first suspect to be interrogated was Reverend Golightly. "Now then, Reverend." the Doctor began. "Where were you at quarter past four?"
"Let me think." Golightly pondered. "Why yes, I remember. I was unpacking in my room."
"No alibi then." the Doctor nodded
"You were alone?" Agatha added
"With the Lord, one is never truly alone." Golightly smiled
~8~
Next was Roger. "And where were you?" the Doctor asked him
"Let me think. I was, um, oh yes, I was taking a constitutional, in the fields behind the house. Just taking a stroll, that's all." Roger said innocently
"Alone?" the Doctor asked him
"Oh yes, all alone." Roger answered hastily. "Totally alone. Absolutely alone. Completely all the time. I wandered lonely as the proverbial cloud. There was no one else with me, not at all. Not ever!"
The Doctor raised a brow, suspecting that Roger was actually having an illicit rendezvous with Davenport at the time of the murder.
~8~
Next suspect was Robina Redmond. "And where were you?" the Doctor asked
"At quarter past four?" Redmond furrowed a brow. "Well, I went to the toilet when I arrived, and them, um... oh yes, I remember. I was preparing myself, positively buzzing about the party, and the super fun of meeting Lady Eddison."
"We've only got your word for it." the Doctor pointed out
"That's your problem," Redmond retorted, "not mine."
~8~
Next it was the turn of Hugh to be interrogated. "Where were you, sir?" the Doctor asked, getting somewhat weary now.
"Quarter past four?" Hugh pondered. "Dear me, let me think... ah, yes, I remember. I was sitting in me study reading through some military memoirs. Fascinating stuff. Took me back to the days in the army... started reminiscing... Mafeking, you know, terrible war."
"Colonel. Snap out of it." the Doctor said, snapping his fingers in front of the man's face, realising that whatever he was reminiscing about, it was not the war.
"I was in me study..." Hugh began again
"No, no, no, no, right out of it." the Doctor insisted
"Oh, sorry." Hugh blinked. "Got a bit carried away there."
~8~
"And where were you at quarter past four, mi'lady?" the Doctor asked Clemency
"Now, let me see, yes I remember. I was sitting in the blue room, taking my afternoon tea. It's a ritual of mine, I needed to gather strength for my duties as hostess. I then proceeded to the lawn where I met you, Doctor," Clemency replied, "and I said, 'Who might you be?' and 'What are you doing here?' and you said, 'I'm the Doctor. This is Miss Shareen Costello and Miss Donna Noble...'"
"Yes, yes, you can stop now." the Doctor interrupted
"Of course." Clemency said, then burped, the Doctor smelling brandy in her breath.
~8~
With the interviews finished, the Doctor and Agatha pondered the situation. "No alibis for any of them." Agatha remarked. "The secret adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive." She then put on a Belgian accent. "Use ze little grey cells."
"Oh yes, the little grey cells. Good ol' Poirot." the Doctor said, sitting down in the same chair the suspects had been sitting in. "Ya know, I've been to Belgium. I was deep in the Ardennes trying to find Charlemagne. He'd been kidnapped by an insane computer..."
"Doctor!" Agatha interrupted, pulling the Doctor out of his reminiscence.
"Sorry." the Doctor mumbled
"Charlemagne lived centuries ago." Agatha said, looking him oddly.
"I've got a good memory." the Doctor shrugged
"For such an experienced detective, you missed a big clue." Agatha said
"What, that bit of paper you nicked out the fire?"
"You were looking the other way!" Agatha blinked
"Yeah, but I saw you reflected in the glass of the fireplace." the Doctor replied
"You crafty man." Agatha shook her head and showed him the paper. "This is all that's left."
"What's that first letter?" the Doctor squinted. "N or M?"
"It's an M." Agatha replied, "The word is maiden."
"MAIDEN!" the Doctor shouted, making Agatha jump. "What does that mean?" he asked more quietly
"We're still no further forward." Agatha sighed, "Our nemesis is still at large. Unless Miss Noble and Miss Costello have found something."
~8~
Upstairs, Donna and Shareen had been searching the rooms but found nothing suspicious. Presently, they came to a door that was locked. "You won't find anything in there." a voice said from behind them, and they turned to see Greeves standing there.
"Why's it locked?" Shareen asked
"Lady Eddison commands it so." Greeves replied
"And I command it otherwise. Scotland Yard, pip-pip." Donna ordered, and Greeves went to unlock the door. "Why's it locked in the first place?" Donna asked
"Many years ago, when my father was butler to the family, Lady Eddison returned from India with malaria." Greeves explained. "She locked herself in this room for six months until she recovered. Since then, the room has remained undisturbed." He opened the door. "There's nothing in here." he insisted
"How long's it been like this?" Shareen questioned. She'd long dropped her Lady Penelope impression and was back speaking in her natural South London accent.
"40 years." Greeves answered
"Why would she seal it off?" Donna wandered as she and Iris stepped into the room.
"Alright, thanks, Greeves." Shareen said to the butler. "Donna and I'll give this room the once-over, we'll call you if we need ya."
Greeves left the room and Shareen closed the door behind him, then she and Donna looked around. The room was rather bare, with just a vanity and a bed with a teddy bear on it. Everything was covered in 40 years worth of dust. Then, the women heard a buzzing noise. "1926, they've still got bees." Donna muttered. "Oh, what a noise! Alright, busy bee, I'll let ya out, hold on." She put on a Belgian accent. "We shall find you with our amazing powers of detection." She held up the magnifying glass to her eye and went over to the window, where the buzzing was coming from. She pulled the curtains aside only to find an enormous wasp hovering outside the window.
"What the hell?!" Shareen stared as the wasp smashed the window and advanced on them.
Both women promptly turned on their heels. "Doctor!" Donna yelled as the wasp thrust it's stinger out, ready to attack them. Then she had a flash of inspiration and raised the magnifying glass, focussing sunlight onto the wasp which stunned it and allowed the women to bolt for the door. They slammed it shut just as the wasp thrust it's stinger into the door, causing both women to scream. The Doctor and Agatha came racing up, having heard the commotion. "It's a giant wasp!" Donna gasped
"What d'ya mean, a giant wasp?" the Doctor questioned
"A wasp that's giant!" Shareen panted
"It's only a silly little insect!" Agatha snorted
"D'ya call that little?!" Shareen retorted, pointing to the stinger embedded in the door.
The Doctor's eyes widened. "Let me see." he said, opening the door. He found the room empty. "It's gone. Buzzed off." the Doctor said as he ran to the window while the women surveyed the stinger.
"But that's fascinating..." Agatha breathed, reaching out to touch the stinger.
"D-D-D-Don't touch it!" the Doctor said as he came back over. "Don't touch it. Let me..." He scraped some residue off the stinger with a pencil, then placed it in a phial. "Giant wasp." he muttered thoughtfully. "Well, there're tons of amorphous insectivorous life forms, but... none in this galactic vector."
"I think I understood some of those words." Agatha eyed him oddly again. "Enough to know you're completely potty!"
"Lost it's sting, though." Donna said. "That makes it defenceless."
"A creature this size?" the Doctor asked rhetorically. "Gotta be able to grow a new one."
"Like you did with ya hand." Shareen nodded
"Can we return to sanity? There is no such thing as giant wasps!" Agatha said sceptically
"Exactly!" the Doctor replied. "Question is, what's it doing here?"
~8~
The quartet were making their way downstairs when suddenly, they heard a crash and a scream from outside. They raced outside to find Miss Chandrakala lying on the ground with a stone gargoyle statue on top of her, crushing her. "The... poor... little... child." the housekeeper said weakly, then she drew her last breath and died.
Then they all heard a loud buzzing. They looked up to see the giant wasp hovering above them. "There!" the Doctor shouted as the wasp began to flee inside the house. "Come on!" he urged, and they ran off after it.
"Hey, this makes a change, there's a monster, and we're chasing it!" Donna remarked
"Can't be a monster." Agatha said. "It's a trick, they do it with mirrors." She was left eating her words when they reached the top of the stairs and saw the giant wasp hovering there "By all that's holy!" Agatha gasped
"Oh, you are wonderful." the Doctor breathed, fascinated by the creature.
"Speak for yourself, Peacock!" Shareen glared, annoyed at the Doctor's habit of admiring murderous creatures.
The wasp then prepared it's new stinger for an attack. "Now, just stop, stop there!" the Doctor said
"Oi, fly boy!" Donna said, raising the magnifying glass ready to repeat what she'd done to it earlier. The wasp promptly fled.
"Don't let it get away!" the Doctor urged as they ran after it. "Quick! Before it reverts to Human form." They reached a hallway that was completely empty. "Where are ya?" the Doctor called out. "There's nowhere to run. Show yourself!" The doors opened and all the Humans poked their heads out of their rooms. "Oh, that's just cheating." the Doctor grumbled.
~8~
Everyone was soon all gathered in the drawing room, where they learned the bad news about Miss Chandrakala. "My faithful companion." Clemency wept. "This is terrible."
"Excuse me, mi'lady." Davenport ventured, "But she was on her way to tell you something."
"She never found me." Clemency sighed. "She had an appointment with death instead."
"Before she died, she said something about a 'poor little child'." Shareen ventured. "Does that mean anything to anyone?"
"No children in this house for years." Hugh replied, then levelled a pointed look at his son "Highly unlikely there will be."
"Mrs Christie, you must have twigged something." Clemency turned to Agatha. "You've written simply the best detective stories."
"Tell us, what would Poirot do?" Golightly added
"Heaven's sake, cards on the table, woman," Hugh pipped in, "you should be helping us!"
"But I'm just a writer." Agatha sighed, feeling out of her depth.
"But surely you can crack it." Redmond said. "These events, they're exactly like one of your plots."
"That's what I've been saying." Donna nodded. "Agatha, that's gotta mean something."
"But what?" Agatha shook her head. "I've no answers. None, I'm sorry, all of you. I'm truly sorry, but I've failed. If anyone could help us, it's the Doctor. Not me."
~8~
About half an hour later, Agatha was sitting in a gazebo in the garden when Shareen approached her. "D'ya know what I think?" the young woman ventured, sitting down next to Agatha. "I think you're sellin' yourself short. You're a genius. Ya just need to believe in yourself an' stop putting yourself down."
"Thank you, but... I think you overestimate me." Agatha sighed. "I appreciate you trying to be kind, but Miss Noble's right. These murders are like my own creations. It's as though someone's mocking me. I've had enough scorn for one lifetime."
"For what it's worth, I know how ya feel." Shareen said. "My parents never thought I was good enough and belittled me like there was no tomorrow. And Donna's been betrayed too. She had this man she was engaged to, but he was just usin' her an' stabbed her in the back. But she's fine. She's doin' great now, as you can see. Me too. I bounced back from being unwanted."
"I see." Agatha stiffened. "Is my marriage the stuff of gossip now?"
"No, I just... sorry." Shareen said hastily
"No matter." Agatha sighed. "The stories are true. I found my husband with another woman. A younger, prettier woman, isn't it always the way? No offence to you." she added hastily.
"None taken." Shareen shrugged. "Donna's ex was with a giant spider, so ya in good company."
"You, Miss Noble and the Doctor talk such nonsense." Agatha snorted
"Look, Miss Christie... Agatha," Shareen said seriously, "You're brilliant. You really are. People love ya books. Trust me, they'll still be reading 'em 80 years from now."
"I wish!" Agatha scoffed. "Try as I might, it's hardly great literature, now that's beyond me. I'm afraid my books will be forgotten, like ephemera." Suddenly she spotted something. "Hello, what's that?" She got up and approached a patch of grass. "Those flowerbeds were perfectly neat earlier, now some of the stalks are bent other." She examined the area in question and found a small leather box.
"See? No one else would've noticed that. Told ya you were brilliant!" Shareen smiled.
~8~
Shareen and Agatha had soon reunited with the Doctor and Donna in the sitting room and were examining the box. The Doctor opened it to find that it was full of lock-picking tools. "Ooh, someone came tooled up." he remarked. "The sorta stuff a thief would use."
"The Unicorn, he's here." Agatha realised
"The Unicorn and the wasp." the Doctor muttered thoughtfully.
Just then, Greeves entered with a drinks tray. "Your drinks, ladies, Doctor."
"Very good, Greeves." the Doctor nodded as the butler put the tray down and left.
"How did ya CSI thing go, Peacock?" Shareen asked. "Did ya find out what that goo was?"
"Vespiform sting." the Doctor replied, taking out the phial and examining it again. "Vespiforms have got hives in the Sillfrax galaxy."
"Again, you talk like Edward Lear." Agatha remarked
"Tell me about it." Shareen humoured her.
"But for some reason, this one's behaving like a character in one of your books." the Doctor said, sipping his drink.
"Come on, Agatha, what would Miss Marple do?" Donna encouraged. "She'd overheard something vital by now, because the murderer thinks she's just a harmless old lady."
"Clever idea." Agatha nodded. "Miss Marple. Who writes those?"
"Um, copyright: Donna Noble. Add it to the list." the ginger said hastily
"Donna..." the Doctor began
"Or we could split the copyright three ways?" Donna suggested
"No. Something's inhibiting my enzymes." the Doctor said, then he dropped to his knees with an agonised yell. "I've been poisoned!" he gasped out
"What d'we do, what d'we do?" Donna asked panicked, rushing to help.
Agatha sniffed the Doctor's glass. "Bitter almonds. It's cyanide. Sparking cyanide!" she released
The Doctor manged to get to his feet ran out of the room, the women following him. They burst into the kitchen and the Doctor staggered over to Davenport. "Ginger beer!" he said, grabbing the footman by his lapels.
"I beg your pardon? a confused Davenport blinked
"I need ginger beer!" the Doctor panted
"Here, Peacock!" Shareen said, handing him a bottle of ginger beer.
"The gentleman's gone mad." the cook commented as the Doctor promptly glugged the ginger beer down.
"I'm an expert in poisons, Doctor." Agatha said as she joined them, "There is no cure. It's fatal. I'm sorry."
"Not for me!" the Doctor panted, "I can stimulate the inhibited enzymes into reversal... Protein! I need protein!"
Donna, Shareen and Agatha hurriedly searched the kitchen supplies. "Walnuts!" Donna said, rushing over with a jar of them
"Brilliant!" the Doctor said, and shoved a handful of walnuts into his mouth before making a gesture by his hand up and down.
"I can't understand ya!" Donna said frenziedly. "How many words?" The Doctor held up one finger. "One word." Donna noted, then the Doctor started shaking his hand again. "Shake. Milk shake." Donna rambled. "No, not milk. Cocktail shaker. What d'ya want, a Harvey Wallbanger?"
The Doctor swallowed the walnuts. "Harvey Wallbanger?!" he said
"Well I don't know!" Donna defended
"How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?!" the Doctor asked
"Doctor, just tell us what ya need!" Shareen interrupted
"Salt, I was miming salt!" the Doctor answered. "Salt! I need something salty!"
"What about this?" Donna suggested, showing him a brown bag.
"What is it?"
"Salt."
"That's too salty."
"Oh, that's too salty!" Donna grumbled
"What about this?" Agatha suggested, holding a jar.
"What's that?" Donna asked
"Anchovies." Agatha replied as the Doctor took a handful of anchovies and shoved them into his mouth then he started making hand gestures again.
"What is it?" Donna quizzed. "What else? It's a song? Mammy? Uh, I dunno, Camptown Races?"
The Doctor swallowed the anchovies. "Camptown Races?!" he spluttered
"Alright then, Towering Inferno!" Donna huffed
"It's a shock!" the Doctor elaborated. "Look! Shock! I need a shock!"
Shareen realised there was only one thing for it. "Alright, here's a shock for ya!" And she abruptly lifted her dress up high above her chest, revealing some very non-1920's lingerie underneath.
Agatha and the servants all goggled in surprise while the Doctor's eyes bugged, then he threw his head back and black smoke came out of his mouth, expelling the cyanide from his body.
"Detox!" the Doctor panted, wiping his mouth. "I must do that more often!" He then saw Shareen glaring daggers at him as she pulled her dress back down. "I mean the... the detox." he added hastily.
"Shut up, Peacock." Shareen said flatly. "Let's get one thing absolutely straight; I did that to save ya life. Don't get any ideas!"
"You three are impossible." Agatha remarked. "Who are you?" Of course, she received no answer.
~8~
That evening, Donna and Shareen were back in the TARDIS getting changed for dinner. "I can't believe ya showed the Doctor ya knickers!" Donna laughed as she stood outside Shareen's room waiting for the young woman to finish getting dressed.
"Well, it worked, didn't it?" Shareen shrugged. "Anyway, make the most it, cos' I ain't ever doing it again!" She then stepped out of the room to reveal that she was now wearing the tuxedo she'd worn on the Titanic at Christmas.
"Nice tux." Donna commented
"Yeah, well, after earlier, I figured I'd cover myself up." Shareen shrugged. "Besides, it's got pockets."
~8~
Soon, everyone was gathered in the dining room for dinner. "Terrible day for us all." the Doctor remarked. "The professor taken from us, Miss Chandrakala taken cruelly from us... and yet we still take dinner."
"We are British, Doctor." Clemency said stiffly. "What else must we do?"
"And then someone tried to poison me." the Doctor continued. "Any one of you had the chance to put the cyanide in my drink. But it rather gave me an idea."
"And what would that be?" Golightly asked
"Well... poison." the Doctor said lightly. "Drink up!"
All the Humans except for Donna, Shareen and Agatha promptly froze in their eating. "He's pullin' ya legs." Shareen laughed. "He told Mrs Hart to put pepper in the soup."
"Ah, I thought it was jolly spicy." Hugh chuckled, actually liking the spicy flavour.
"Yep, gives it a nice kick." Shareen winked, contently sipping her soup.
"But the active ingredient of pepper is piperine." the Doctor continued. "Traditionally used as a pesticide. So, anyone got the shivers?"
At that moment, the window blew open and the resulting gust of wind blew the candles out, plunging the room into darkness. "What the deuce is that?" Hugh wandered, hearing a noise.
"Listen... listen, listen, listen!" the Doctor urged everyone
Sure enough, everyone heard a waspy buzzing noise. "No... no, it can't be..." Clemency whimpered
"Show yourself, demon!" Agatha said grimly, getting to her feet.
"Everyone stay calm." Shareen cautioned, taking a glow stick out of her dinner jacket pocket.
Suddenly, the Vespiform showed itself, illuminated by flashes of lightening from outside. Everyone spread out as they clamoured to get away. Greeves ushered Donna and Shareen out of the room while the Doctor did the same with Agatha. "You've got a long, long life to live yet." he told her
They joined Greeves, Donna and Shareen in the hallway and the Doctor grabbed a sword off the wall. "Well, we know the butler didn't do it." Donna panted
"Then who did?" the Doctor muttered, pushing the door open again. The lights were back on and the Vespiform had gone.
Then Clemency realised something. "My jewellery! The firestone, it's gone!" she cried, swiping at her bare neck. All day she'd been wearing a necklace with a jewel in it, but now it was gone.
There was worse to come.
"Roger..." Davenport breathed, going as white as a sheet, then Miss Redmond screamed and everyone turned to see Roger lying face down in his soup with a knife in his back.
"My son... my child!" Clemency wailed, hugging her dead son.
~8~
About an hour later, the Doctor and Agatha were in the drawing room when Donna and Shareen entered. "Poor Davenport." Shareen sighed. "Roger's dead an' he's not allowed to grieve. 1926? More like the dark ages!"
"Did you enquire about the necklace?" Agatha asked
"Lady Eddison bought it back from India." Donna replied. "It's worth thousands."
"It can sting, it can fly." the Doctor pondered. "It can wipe us out in seconds, why's it playing this game?"
"Every murder is essentially the same." Agatha replied. "They are committed because somebody wants something."
"What does a Vespiform want?" the Doctor asked rhetorically
"Doctor, stop it." Agatha roller her eyes. "The murderer is as Human as you and I."
"You're right." the Doctor suddenly realised, walking over to Agatha and kneeling down in front of her. "Ah, I've been so caught up with giant wasps that I've forgotten. You're the expert!"
"I'm not, I've told you. I'm just a... purveyor of nonsense." Agatha said dejectedly
"No, no, no, no! Because plenty pf people write detective stories, but yours are the best!" the Doctor said encouragingly. "And why? Why're you so good, Agatha Christie? Because you understand! You've lived... you've fought... you've had your heart broken. You know about people... their passions, their hope, and dispair, and anger. All of those tiny, huge things, that can turn the most ordinary person into a killer. Just think, Agatha! If anyone can solve this... it's you!"
~8~
A little later, all the other Humans had been called to the sitting room. It was time to crack the case wide open. "I've called you here on this endless night because we have a killer in our midst." the Doctor announced. "And when it comes to detection, there's none finer. Ladies and gentlemen... I give you Agatha Christie." He sat down and Agatha took his place standing by the fireplace.
"This is a crooked house... a house of secrets." Agatha began. "To understand the solution, we must examine them all. Starting with you... Miss Redmond."
"But I'm innocent, surely." Redmond squirmed
"You've never met these people and these people have never met you. I think the real Robina Redmond never left London. You're impersonating her."
"How silly. What proof do you have?"
"You said you'd been to the toilet..." Agatha began
"Oh, I know this." Donna whispered to her friends. "If she's really posh, she'd say 'loo'."
"Earlier today, Miss Costello and I found this on the lawn." Agatha continued, holding up the lock-picking kit. "Right beneath your bedroom window. You must have heard Miss Noble and Miss Costello were searching the bedrooms and you panicked. You ran upstairs and disposed of the evidence."
"I've never seen that thing before in my life." Redmond insisted
"What's inside it?" Clemency asked
"The tools of your trade, Miss Redmond, or should I say, the Unicorn!" Agatha said, opening the case and showing everyone it's contents, who all looked at Redmond in shock. "You came to this house with one intention, to steal the firestone.
"Oh, alright then." Redmond grunted, switching to a cockney accent. "It's a fair cop. Yes, I'm the bleedin' Unicorn. Ever so nice to meet you. I don't fink. I took my chance in the dark an' nabbed it." She pulled out the firestone from beneath her dress. "Go on then, ya nobs, arrest me, sling me in jail." She tossed the firestone over and the Doctor caught it.
"So, is she the murderer?" Donna asked
"Don't be so thick." the Unicorn rolled her eyes. "I might be a thief, but I ain't no killer."
"Quite." Agatha said. "There are darker motives at work. And in examining this household, we come to you... colonel."
"Damn it, woman!" Hugh spluttered. "You with your perspicuity! You've rumbled me." And he promptly stood up out of his wheelchair.
"Hugh, you can walk!" Clemency stared. "But why?!"
"My darling," Hugh said to her, "how else could I be certain of keeping you by my side?"
"I don't understand."
"You're still a beautiful woman, Clemency. Sooner or later, some chap will turn your head. I couldn't bear that. Staying in the chair was the only way I could be certain of keeping you." He turned to Agatha. "Confound it, Mrs Christie, how did you discover the truth?"
"Um, actually, I had no idea." Agatha blinked. "I was just going to say you're completely innocent."
"Oh, urgh." Hugh blustered, embarrassed.
"Sorry."
"Well, well should I sit down, then?"
"I think you better had." Agatha said, and Hugh did so.
"So he's not the killer, then." Shareen remarked
"Indeed not." Agatha confirmed. "To find the truth, let's return to this." The Doctor handed her the firestone. "Far more than the object of the Unicorn's desire. The firestone has quite a history, Lady Eddison."
"I've done nothing!" Clemency cried
"You brought it back from India, did you not? Before you met the colonel." Agatha stated. "You came home with malaria and confined yourself to this house for six months, in a room that has been locked ever since, which I rather think means..."
"Stop, please."
"I'm so sorry. But you had fallen pregnant in India. Unmarried and ashamed, you hurried back to England with your confidante, a young maid destined to become housekeeper, Miss Chandrakala."
"Clemency!" Hugh gasped. "Is this true?"
"My poor baby." Clemency said tearfully. "I had to give him away. Oh, the shame of it."
"But you never said a word."
"I had no choice. Imagine the scandal, the family name! I'm British, I carry on."
"And it was no ordinary pregnancy." the Doctor ventured
"How can you know that?" Clemency stared
"S'cuse me, Agatha, but this is my territory." the Doctor said, standing up. "But when you heard that buzzing sound in the dining room, ya said, 'It can't be.' Why did you say that?"
"You'd never believe it." Clemency sighed
"The Doctor has opened my mind to believe... many things." Agatha said, sitting down.
"It was 40 years ago, in the heat of Delhi, one late night." Clemency recounted. "I was alone and that's when I saw it, a dazzling light in the sky. The next day, he came to the house. Christopher, the most handsome man I'd ever seen. Our love blazed like a wildfire and I held nothing back. And in return, he showed me the incredible truth about himself." The time travellers shared a glance, realising this Christopher must have been a Vespiform. "He made himself Human to learn about us. This was his true shape. I loved him so much it didn't matter. But he was stolen from me. 1885, the year of the great Monsoon. The River Jumna rose up and burst it's bank. He was taken by the flood. But Christopher gave me a parting gift, a jewel like no other." She gestured to the firestone. "I wore it always, part of me never forgot. I kept it close, always."
"Just like a man." the Unicorn scoffed. "Flashes 'is family jewels an' you end up wiv a bun in the oven."
"A 'Poor little child'." Agatha said. "40 years ago, Miss Chandrakala took that new-born baby to an orphanage. But Professor Peach worked it out. He found the birth certificate."
"Oh, that's maiden. Maiden name." Donna realised
"Precisely." Agatha confirmed
"So she killed him?" Donna nodded at Clemency
"I did not!" Clemency cried indignantly
"Miss Chandrakala feared the professor had unearthed your secret." Agatha continued. "She was coming to worn you."
"So she killed her." Donna said
"I did not!" was Clemency indignant response.
"Lady Eddison is innocent." Agatha declared. "Because at this point... Doctor?" She sat down and the Time Lord took her place.
"Thank you." the Doctor spoke up. "Because at this point, when we consider the lies and secrets, and the key to these events, then we have to consider, it was you... Donna Noble." He pointed to the ginger.
"What?!" Donna spluttered. "Who did I kill?"
"No, but you said it all along. The vital clue." the Doctor told her. "This whole thing is being acted out like a murder mystery. Which means it was you... Agatha Christie." He pointed at the writer
"I beg your pardon, sir!" Agatha spluttered
"Agatha?!" Shareen furrowed a brow. "She's the murderer?! I don't believe that!"
""No! But she wrote." the Doctor explained. "She wrote those brilliant, clever books. And who's her greatest admirer? The moving finger points..." He moved his finger around. "At you, Lady Eddison."
"Leave me alone." the woman sobbed
"Alright, Peacock, stop being dramatic an' get to the point." Shareen told the Doctor irritably.
"Just think. Last Thursday night, what were you doing?" the Doctor asked Clemency
"Uh, I was, I was in the library." Clemency recalled. "I was reading my favourite Agatha Christie, thinking about her plots, and how clever she must be. How is that relevant?"
"Just think." the Doctor continued, "What else happened on Thursday night?" He looked at Reverend Golightly.
"I'm sorry?" the vicar shook his head
"You said on the lawn this afternoon, last Thursday, those boys broke into your church."
"That's correct, they did. I discovered the two of them, thieves in the night. I was most perturbed. I apprehended them."
"Really? A man of God against two strong lads? A man in his forties? Or should I say, 40 years old exactly?"
"Oh my God!" Clemency gasped, turning to face Golightly, who was sat next to her.
"Lady Eddison, your child, how old would he be now?" the Doctor asked
"40, he's 40!" Clemency breathed in realisation.
"Your child has come home." the Doctor stated
"This is poppycock!" Golightly snorted
"You said you were brought up by the Christian fathers." the Doctor told him. "Meaning you were raised in an orphanage."
"My son..." Clemency breathed, "Can it be?"
"You found those thieves, Reverend, and you got angry." the Doctor said. "A proper, deep anger, for the first time in your life, and it broke the genetic lock. You changed. You realised your inheritance. After all these years, you knew who you are. Oh, and then it all kicks off, cos' this isn't just a jewel." He held up the firestone. "It's a Vespiform telepathic recorder. It's part of you, your brain, your very essence. When you activated, so did the firestone. It beamed your full identity directly into your mind. And, at the same time it absorbed the works of Agatha Christie, directly from Lady Eddison. It all became part of you. Mechanics of those novels formed a template in your brain. You've killed in this pattern, because that's what you think the world is. Turns out we're in the middle of a murder mystery. One of yours, Dame Agatha."
"Dame?" Agatha questioned
"Oh, sorry, not yet." the Doctor muttered sheepishly
"So he killed 'em?" Donna asked the Doctor. "Definitely?"
"Yes." the Doctor confirmed
"But why'd he kill Roger?" Shareen questioned. "I get that he killed the Professor an' Miss Chandrakala to protect his secret, but Roger didn't do anything to him. Why kill him?"
"Resentment towards his half-brother?" the Doctor pondered. "Bury ya gays? Maybe Roger saw him change at dinner?"
"Well... this has certainly been a most entertaining evening." Golightly said, getting to his feet. "Really, you don't believe any of this, Lady Eddizzz...?"
"Lady who?" the Doctor pushed
"Lady Eddizzzon."
"Little bit of buzzing there, vicar?"
"Don't make me angry!"
"Why? What happens then?"
"Damn it! You Humanzzz!" Golightly snarled. "Worshiping your tribal sky godzzz! I am so much more! That night, the universe exploded in my mind! I wanted to take what wazz mine. And you, Agatha Christie, with your railway station bookstall romancezzz! What'zzz to stop me killing you?!"
"Oh, my dead God!" Clemency wept, reaching for him. "My child!"
"What'zzz to stop me killing you all?!" Golightly snarled, then he was engulfed in a purple light and transformed into the Vespiform.
"Forgive me." Clemency sobbed as the Vespiform advanced on her.
"No, Clemency, come back!" Hugh warned as he and Greeves pulled her away. "Keep away, keep away, my darling."
"No!" Agatha bellowed, holding up the firestone. "No more murder! If my imagination made you kill, then my imagination will find a way to stop you, foul creature!" And she promptly ran out of the room with the Doctor, Donna, Shareen and the Vespiform all chasing her.
"Great!" Donna grumbled as they ran. "Now it's chasing us!"
"Good thing I decided to wear this suit." Shareen remarked.
~8~
The time travellers got outside the house and sealed the door shut behind them. A horn beeped and they turned round to see Agatha at the wheel of a car. She pulled up next to them just as the Vespiform burst through the door. "Over here! Come and get me, Reverend!" Agatha baited
"Agatha, what're you doing?!" the Doctor asked her
"If I started this, Doctor, then I must stop it!" Agatha told him, and she sped away with the Vespiform chasing her.
The Doctor and his companions all scrambled over to Professor Peach's car. "Come on!" the Doctor urged the women as they all piled in. He jump-started the engine with his sonic screwdriver and they were off.
"You said this is the night Agatha Christie loses her memory." Donna reminded as they sped down the road in pursuit of Agatha.
"Time's in flux, Donna." the Doctor told her. "For all we know, this is the night Agatha Christie loses her life an' history gets changed!"
"Put ya bloody foot down, then!" Shareen urged him
"We're already at maximum speed!" the Doctor replied. "I miss Bessie!" he muttered
"Where's she going?" Donna wandered as they continued to chase Agatha and the Vespiform
"The lake!" the Doctor realised, seeing a sign indicating the way to 'Silent Pool'. "She's heading for the lake. What's she doing?"
Ahead of them, Agatha pulled up by the lake and jumped out of her car. "Here I am! The honey in the trap." she called to the Vespiform, holding up the firestone, which was now engulfed in a purple glow. "Come and get me, Vespiform!"
"Is she controlling it?" Shareen wandered as they caught up with her.
"It's mind is based on her thought processes." the Doctor replied. "They're linked!"
"Quite so, Doctor." Agatha said. "If I die, then this creature might die with me."
The Doctor stood in front of her and faced the Vespiform. "Don't hurt her!" he pleaded. "You're not meant to be like this! You've got the wrong template in ya mind!"
"It's not listening." Donna said grimly, seeing the Vespiform readying it's stinger.
Thinking quickly, Shareen snatched the firestone off Agatha. "Oi, Buzzy-boy..." she called, "fetch!" And she chucked the firestone in the lake. The Vespiform dived in after it and drowned in a purple glow.
"How d'ya kill a wasp?" Donna said to the others. "Drown it. Just like his father."
"That thing couldn't help itself." the Doctor protested
"That doesn't excuse all the murders it committed." Shareen defended. "Trust you to take that thing's side."
"Death comes as the end... and justice is served." Agatha said sagely as they watched the water settle.
"Murder at the vicar's rage." the Doctor commented then noticed the three women giving him pointed looks. "Needs a bit of work." he shrugged
Agatha turned to the three time travellers. "Just one mystery left," she said, "who exactly who are you three?"
But before the trio could answer, Agatha suddenly yelled out in pain and collapsed. "Oh, it's the firestone!" the Doctor realised. "It's part of the Vespiform's mind. It's dying an' it's connected to Agatha!"
Agatha briefly glowed purple, but then the glow faded and she fell unconscious. "What's happened?!" Shareen asked
The Doctor checked Agatha's vital signs. "He let her go." he realised. "Right at the end, the Vespiform chose to save someone's life."
"Is she alright, though?" Donna asked
"Oh, of course! The amnesia!" the Doctor realised. "Wiped her mind of everything that happened; the wasp, the murder..."
"And us." Shareen cut in. "She won't remember us."
"Yeah, but we've solved another riddle." the Doctor said. "The mystery of Agatha Christie. And tomorrow morning, her car gets found here by the side of the lake. A few days later, she turns up at the hotel in Harrogate with no idea what's happened."
~8~
The Doctor, Donna and Shareen stood outside the Harrogate hotel watching a dazed-looking Agatha walk up the steps towards the hotel. "No one'll ever know." the Doctor murmured
"Lady Eddison, the Colonel, the staff... what about them?" Donna asked
"Shameful story." the Doctor shrugged. "They'd never talk about it. Too British. While the Unicorn does a bunk back to London town. She could never even say she was there."
"What about Agatha?" Shareen asked
"Oh, great life!" the Doctor replied. "Met another man, married again. Saw the world. Wrote an' wrote an' wrote."
"Yeah, but she never thought her books were any good." Shareen sighed, remembering their talk in the gazebo. "An' she must've spent all those years wanderin' what happened."
They went back inside the TARDIS and the Doctor went over to a storage compartment in the floor. "Thing is, I don't think she ever quite forgot." he said as he opened the grill and started mooching through the compartment. "Great mind like that, some of the details kept bleedin' through. All the stuff her imagination could use. Like Miss Marple."
"I should've made her sign a contract." Donna joked
"And, where is it, where is it, hold on. Here we go." the Doctor said as he lifted a chest out of the compartment. "C." He opened the compartment and began rifling through it. "That is C for Cyberman." He chucked out a Cyberman's chest plate. "C for Carrionites." He picked up the globe the three witches were imprisoned in and tossed it to Shareen.
"How're you hags doin' in there?" she asked, giving the globe a mocking shake.
The Doctor set down a bust of Julius Caesar. "And... Christie, Agatha." He produced a copy of Death in the Clouds. "Look at that." He handed Donna the book. On the cover was a picture of a giant wasp.
"She did remember." Donna blinked
"Somewhere in the back of her mind, it all lingered." the Doctor said. "And that's not all. Look at the copyright page."
Donna did so and read out the text, "Facsimile edition, published in the year... five billion?!"
"People never stop reading 'em." the Doctor confirmed. "She is the best selling novelist of all time."
"But she never knew." Shareen sighed
"Well, no one knows how they're going to be remembered." the Doctor said wisely. "All we can do is hope for the best. Maybe that's what kept her writing. Same thing keeps me travelling." He smiled at the two women. "Onwards?"
"Onwards." Donna smiled back.
"Onwards an' upwards." Shareen grinned, and both women watched as the Doctor piloted the TARDIS back into the Time Vortex.
~8~
A few days later, Shareen was sat in her room working on her laptop when Donna entered. Hey. What's up?" Donna asked
"Just lookin' up everyone we met back in 1926." Shareen replied. "Peacock was right about Agatha; she lived a great life. I just wish she could've known just how brilliant she really was."
"Yeah." Donna agreed. "What about the others? What happened to them?"
"Well, according to the net, Lady Eddison and the Colonel decided to adopt after Roger died." Shareen replied. "They raised an orphan boy as their own an' he became Lord Eddison when they died. Oh, I found out the Unicorn's real name, by the way. Her real name was Ada Mullins. She got nicked in 1927 by a police sting. Anyway, that's enough about them. What's up?"
"Well, I was just lookin' through the Doctor's DVD collection an' I found this." Donna said, holding up a DVD boxset of the Margaret Rutherford Miss Marple films. "I was thinking' we could have a watch-through of 'em."
"Hmm, good idea." Shareen nodded. "Meetin' Agatha's given me a new appreciation of her work. Alright, let's watch 'em." And both women set off to the TARDIS lounge.
Author's notes: And here's The Unicorn and the Wasp wrapped up. I've always found this episode to be a guilty pleasure of mine, being good for a casual rewatch when I just want a fun romp with the Doctor and Donna. I hope I managed to incorporate Shareen into the episode in a decent way. She got to offer support to Agatha and saved the Doctor's life. Shareen's line about being able to do a Texan impression is a reference to the fact that Victoria Moroles is from Texas. For context, I imagine Shareen's normal accent to be a working-class South London Accent, like that Rose, Jackie and Mickey all had. That bit between Donna and Shareen at the end was to tie-up the fates of the other characters in the episode and to work in a pop culture reference. In my household, the Margaret Rutherford Miss Marple films are essential viewing and for good reason; Margaret Rutherford was a brilliant Miss Marple! So, hope you enjoy this chapter. Don't forget to leave feedback!
