Crumpled Horn Plot Bunnies
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Harry Potter or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
Year 6...
Ron sat Harry and Hermione down in Year 6, after the Canary Incident. Hermione was still angry, but kept her tongue.
Ron: "Harry, Hermione, I just want to tell you that... I have no romantic interest in Hermione. None. Whatsoever."
Hermione: "Er... Wait, what?"
Harry: "You don't? Then what was all that-?"
Ron: "All that? All that jealousy? That was before I realized something very important." He looked over at Hermione "Hermione, you are without a doubt the scariest witch I've ever met. I would rather face Bellatrix Lestrange than face you."
Hermione: "Wha-What the hell do you-?"
Ron: "I mean you're flat out crazy! You imprisoned a reporter, a human being, for writing slander about you! You put her in a jar! You pushed Harry into starting an underground resistance movement! You sent canaries after me! You're crazy! And honestly, I have no interest in scary, crazy girls. You are, however, perfect for Harry."
Ron nodded to Harry.
Hermione: "What do you mean, perfect for Harry?!"
Ron: "Harry... Let's face it. The danger, the thrill, the excitement of fighting for your life: That's your life now, isn't it? I mean, if You-Know-Who dropped dead, truly dead, right now, could you really enjoy a boring normal life without any excitement?"
Harry: "Of course I could!"
Ron has an incredulous expression.
Harry: "I absolutely could-!"
Ron: "You didn't actually have to participate in the Tournament, you know. The Triwizard? You could have just shown up, failed, and that would have been fine. The Goblet wouldn't have taken your magic as long as you just showed up. But instead you went along with it and risked your neck! Doesn't that mean you're kind of... Crazy?"
Harry: "I... I didn't have to...?" He looked over at Hermione
Hermione: "Well... I mean, technically, you really didn't."
Ron: "Which just proves my point! Harry, you're absolutely barmy and mad and love the excitement of risking your neck. Hermione? You're one hundred percent mad and scary. You're perfect for each other. So I'm still gonna be your friend, but I'm not getting in the way of your happiness. I'm gonna go snog Lavender for a while. Have fun."
Ron gets up, and leaves through the portrait hole. Harry watches him go, and then looks back at Hermione.
Hermione... Just smiles. And lightly blushes.
Harry: "... Oh boy..."
Because Ron should be sensible and realize Hermione is CRAZY. And you don't stick it in crazy.
