Ch 2 - You Think It Would Get Easier?… And The Scary Part…It Does!

Just as Teresa found her voice to say "Hello, Marcel", a flight attendant who had made her way behind her, gently touched her on the shoulder and asked her to take her seat, then added that the seat belt sign was on while looking straight at Dumas.

His eyes shifted from Teresa to James for a brief second, then he shook his head, and turned back to his seat at the front. Teresa, visibly pale and shaken, slumped heavily in her seat. The flight attendant thanked her and moved forward, when she found her hands shaking so badly that she fumbled to fasten her seat belt unsuccessfully and James had to take over and do it for her.

"Who was that man and what was this all about?" Tony's curious voice came from above and behind their seats.

"Nobody", James said hastily, not being eager to engage in a conversation with his son right at this moment, but forgetting that after Tony's attack and his own jail time, his son had gotten the experiences and the mindset befitting a much older person than his 15 years of age.

"He's not a nobody!", Teresa managed to say in a shaky voice. She turned her head sideways as much as possible and said to her son: "He's someone…a friend from the past…who I betrayed…and who doesn't know I'm alive." Her voice shook slightly but she was able to take control over it as Tony noted: "Whoever he is, he seemed shocked to see you…you both…he kept staring at both of you! Are we in danger?"

The last words made James look up and interrupt firmly: "No, we are not. Nothing will happen. Just …ahh…a reunion that we didn't need quite now!" his voice betrayed both fear and apprehension.

"I always knew the past would catch up with me…someday", Teresa said looking at him with worried eyes.

"I don't want you getting distressed and upset…neither for Dumas, nor for anyone!" he told her taking her hand in his. Then he added: "I assume he'll wait for us at the exit. You left him a fortune...that should have paid off ...for what you did...Pote said he took it all and was happy…he better still be!" And James turned towards the window and stared at the clouds outside, without even registering what he was seeing.


After all the first class passengers had trickled out of the designated exit, Teresa and James walked out, pulling their hand luggage, the two children following them closely. No one asked questions or made comments. The mood was heavy, and they all felt it deeply.

Teresa could hear her heart beat in her chest and tried to breathe deep as she kept putting one foot in front of the other along the disembarkation sleeve. Right before the exit came into view, she made a few faster steps to catch up with James and go before him saying: "As much as I would love that you walk out first…I know he'll be waiting at the exit…and it's me who has to…ahh…", she didn't finish as the words just weren't coming out.

"I know", James said walking alongside her, then letting her take the lead: "I also know you did the best you could…he better had forgiven you!", she heard him say behind her.


As expected, Marcel Dumas was waiting for them at the exit but he wasn't alone, which not only surprised Teresa, but also gave her a jolt of positive excitement. Chicho was standing right next to Marcel, also clean shaven and looking way more relaxed than his companion.

Before Teresa could come up with anything to say, Chicho, whose eyes had watered visibly, took a few steps and hugged her tight while repeating: "I knew it, Jefa…I pinche knew it!" Then he pulled back, looked at her and said: "I'm so happy to see you…both!" and his eyes moved over to James: " And you, cabron! For sure! No puede ser!"

Chicho moved to hug James and pat him on the back, which hug and pat were eagerly reciprocated. The tension in the air seemed to have dissolved as James introduced Tony and Suzie to Chicho who shook hands with bith and kept making remarks who each child resembled more. James was telling Tony how Chicho had had been his brother in arms for a short period of two months back in the day when Teresa's business had been at its hiatus. Chicho couldn't have been more surprised with the ease with which James talked to his son about his past, even the presence of the much younger daughter didn't bother him.


Teresa had been left staring Marcel in the eyes and as the greetings behind her had been taking place, Marcel had finally touched her elbow gently and had invited her to walk beside him only with a gesture.

He didn't say anything for a few long seconds after they exited the boarding area, but it was obvious to her that he expected her to speak first.

Teresa finally looked at him and said without coming to a full halt: "I'm really sorry. If I could take it back, I would! But I can't. Can you forgive me?"

"I already have!" he smiled and the tone of his deep voice, that she hadn't thought she'd ever hear again, made her eyes water and she wiped them with her hand as she knew there would be no holding back.

She had sent her friend to jail 'to get her 30 silver coins, her waterfront property and her place in society' was what he had accused her of, and it still stung sharply because she knew it to be true. Betraying Marcel Dumas to protect Boaz Jimenez and her Sinaloa transportation corridor had been the lowest decision of her life as Queen, and although the fiasco had been carefully engineered by Devon Finch and his CIA superiors, she hated herself for what she had been set to do.

They all sat at a big table in one of the restaurants in the terminal and as they sipped their drinks the conversation moved from family to family, including Pote and Kelly Anne who were not present, until James finally asked them pointedly what they were doing so far from New Orleans.

Marcel sighed deeply and looked perturbed, while Chicho shook his head and said simply: "We got into the resort development business…after you gave us a generous start…and now we might have bid on the wrong horse, so to say…with one substantial investment…".

His voice trailed off and Marcel jumped in: "We're meeting some bankers…refinancing things…on a resort property in Thailand…and a few others maybe." He didn't sound optimistic, on the contrary worry took over his face, but he steered the conversation towards his family, which was a wife and a daughter the age of Suzie.


When Teresa and James finally checked into the rental Chalet in the skirts of the mountain, Teresa realized that she hadn't noticed neither the cold, nor the serene mountainous landscapes the taxi had driven by, as her mind and body were still reeling from the shock of stumbling upon people from her past, people who had meant something to her and who she had believed forever lost.

She had another shot of whisky from the minibar and felt so exhausted that she fell asleep the minute her head hit the pillow.

But rest and calm were not meant for her tortured mind as it stumbled down memory lane. She floated on a cloud of emotions that alternated between negative and positive, her head buzzed, and she was sure she was tossing and turning, feeling sweaty, then cold, but not waking up.

She dreamt of looking at her own hands covered in blood and could see herself bent in desperation over Bobby's body lying dead on the floor of her distillery, Bobby who had been Marcel's right hand man and who had died under her watch.

Her fleeting mind conjured up Birdie's dead body lying on a cold slab in the NOLA morgue, and she could see George's big blue eyes mist as he realized Teresa had made friends with Marcel, who had ordered Birdie's death.

She could hear voices, and as she strained to recognize them, they faded away. At one point she was certain she heard Finch's voice, all congratulatory and enthusiastic telling her she had 'achieved the impossible' as she had turned the money changer into a Queen. Her stomach revolted at the flashback of the man who had instigated all low moments of her past: Kelly Anne's betrayal, El Santo's bombing where she had almost died, James's departure, Boaz's treachery and had resulted in her betraying her friend Marcel.

The dream made her shiver. Her hand instinctively jumped to her side to ensure James was still there, and as she woke him but didn't wake herself, he ended up caressing her hair for a few minutes until she seemed to have calmed down.

Her mind tried again and again to mute Finch's voice as she had always believed that 'achieving the impossible' was having this: her family, her man, her children, all safe and sound, away from the crime life, happy and together on a vacation, like normal people!

But what slammed her awake was James's voice, loud and clear in her head: "That thing… you're trying to keep alive inside of you… that's what's gonna get you killed!' and then the same voice, the one voice on this earth that she adored the most, repeating again and again with angst: "This is your world now! This is your world now! This is your world now!". She sat up in the bed, her heart racing, her palms cold and sweaty.

As she was taking small shallow breaths in the dark, Teresa felt James pull her down gently and then hold her tight. He would know she had gotten upset because no matter how forgiving Marcel had been and how thrilled Chicho had been, they both brought on dark memories to the mind of a person who still fought demons often enough.

"You don't believe it, please tell me you don't!" she mumbled to his chest through the tears chocking her.

"Don't believe what, love?" James said, pulling her even closer.

"That this was my world…the ugly dark reality in the warehouse…that it's not my world and my life!" she was able to say between sniffles.

"Of course, it's not!" James said silently cursing the memories the meeting had brought back. "Just take deep breaths and count backwards. It's all gonna be okay, I promise!"

She lay for some time awake in his arms contemplating memory lane and getting stuck on the thought she had unwillingly started to believe in back then, the thought that rang in her head in her own voice: "You think it would get easier?… And the scary part…It does!"