Crumpled Horn Plot Bunnies
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Harry Potter or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
I rather love fics that have Queen Elizabeth II show up and be badass. But if the Wizarding World is bound by magical oaths and all that stuff, then it makes the resolution rather simple... Though if written well, it can be quite fun.
The Ministry of Magic, Harry's Fifth Year...
"Potter!" Voldemort sneered, "you have interfered for the last time!" He pointed his wand at the teenaged boy, the Killing Curse on his lips-
"Hold, Pretender!"
A powerful voice, female, echoed through the atrium of the Ministry of Magic. Voldemort and Harry turned, both in disbelief, as an elderly woman in a blue dress and crown approached. There were Muggle-armed guards flanking her, carrying guns. Harry's eyes widened.
"The... Queen?" Harry managed.
"How did a mere Muggle get in here?!" Voldemort demanded. He pointed his wand at her. "AVADA KEDAVRA!"
The green spell shot right for her, and Harry screamed a warning... But a magical shield appeared in front of the Queen, and the Killing Curse exploded off of it. The shield itself fell apart, but the Queen was unperturbed. Indeed, she pulled out an ancient scroll, unfurled it, and began to read.
"Under the treaty of Westmarch of 1608, signed between Parliament and the Ministry of Magic, the Ministry was to aid and protect Our Subjects of the magical realm and to adhere to the laws of Great Britain. To preserve and defend the rights of Our Subjects, Magical or non. This was obtained via magical oath to the Crown of Great Britain, an Unbreakable oath of Allegiance. We have found you to have violated that oath. You have abused our subjects, Magical and Non-Magical. You have raped their minds, bound them with dishonorable oaths. You have practiced sedition and treason on OUR PEOPLE, your fellow citizens, in violation of your Oath and the laws of this nation! I thus call upon the Magical Binding in the Treaty of Westmarch, and declare the Ministry of Magic dissolved! We now seize direct power over the instruments of managing and safeguarding OUR REALM! SO MOTE IT BE!"
Magic lashed out, like the raging limbs of some kind of huge kraken. The Atrium shuddered, and the annoying statue in the center fell apart. Voldemort, stunned, didn't move as the Queen continued.
"We, Queen Elizabeth the Second, Daughter of George the Sixth, call upon the magic of the Westmarch Oath!"
She looked up, her eyes now glowing as Eldritch power surged through the very air. Harry breathed hard, transfixed.
"Thomas Marvolo Riddle! You have stolen peerage and rights you have no claim to!"
"I AM LORD VOLDEMORT!" Voldemort bellowed back, "I DECLARE MYSELF THE DARK LORD! YOUR FEEBLE MAGICS CANNOT-"
"SILENCE!"
Lightning raged around the Atrium, and bound Voldemort. He screamed and tried to escape, but his magic failed him. Elizabeth cleared her throat.
"As I was saying," she stated, before her eyes resumed glowing and her voice became terrible once more, "Thomas Marvolo Riddle. You have murdered OUR SUBJECTS. You have committed sedition and treason! You have brought about a genocidal war, persecuting beings under Our Protection! You have slain innocent men, women and children! We find you guilty! Your punishment is thus: YOUR WAND IS BROKEN!"
Voldemort's wand exploded, and the Dark Lord screamed in agony and loss. Harry watched, spellbound, as the Queen continued to speak.
"YOUR MAGIC IS GONE!" The Queen boomed, and Voldemort shrieked as green energy was torn from his body. It vanished into the ether.
"YOU ARE UNDONE BY YOUR TREACHERY, YOUR MALICE, YOUR SEDITION, AND YOUR MONSTROUS LUST FOR POWER! YOUR FINAL PUNISHMENT? YOU ARE DESTROYED, CAST INTO THE FIRES OF HELL TO BURN FOR ALL ETERNITY! SO! MOTE! IT! BEEEEEE!"
"NO! NO! I AM IMMORRTTTAAAAALLLLL!" Voldemort shrieked, just before he was torn to shreds and then vaporized by the intensity of the magical lightning. All that was left were a few burning embers that floated to the floor. The Queen's eyes dimmed, and she took some deep breaths. Her guards aided her, as Harry walked over.
"Are... Are you all right, ma'am?"
"Oh yes," Elizabeth said softly, taking deep breaths and smiling, "quite all right. My... That was exciting, wasn't it?"
"It sure was," Harry said, confused, amazed, but grinning.
"I trust you will have no further concerns save your school work, my boy?"
"I really hope so, Your Majesty."
The Queen nodded with a smile.
"Excellent."
