Through Thick and Thin

Planet of the Dead

Zara Whitland sat on the lower deck of a number 200 bus on her way home. Also riding the bus with her were a middle-aged black couple, a middle-aged blonde woman and a young black man. Zara didn't really pay her fellow passengers much attention as she was busy fiddling with her phone.

Presently, the bus stopped near the International Gallery and a dark-haired woman dressed in black boarded the bus. "Hello." she said to the driver. "I'm so terribly sorry. That card paying device thing, that's a lobster card, am I right?"

"Oyster card." the driver corrected.

"Ah, well, that's the problem, you see. I only use my Oyster card when there's an R in the month."

"It's April." the driver snorted.

The woman looked around nervously then removed her earrings. "Diamonds, genuine." she said, dropping the earrings in the driver's palm. "Drive!"

"Works for me." the driver shrugged, and the woman took a seat in front of Zara, who's attention was caught by the sound of sirens and she looked around to see police cars arriving.

As Zara was busy watching the police, she didn't notice someone else hop on the bus and sit down next to the dark-haired woman, but she did notice when the newcomer spoke, "Hello, I'm the Doctor! Happy Easter!"
Zara looked round to see that the Doctor was indeed sitting in front of her, offering the dark-haired woman an Easter egg.
Zara inwardly groaned, knowing that if the Doctor was here, then she was in for a hard time. She wanted to get off and wait for the next bus, but the driver had already closed the doors and was driving off, so she would have to wait until the next stop, which was on the other side of the Gladwell Road tunnel, so she would just have to hope that nothing would happen before then.
The Doctor meanwhile was happily rambling to the dark-haired woman, who wasn't paying the slightest attention as she was too busy looking out of the window anxiously. "Funny thing is, I don't often do Easter." the Doctor rambled. "I can never find it, it's always at a different time. Although I remember the original. Between you an' me, what really happened was..."

Zara leaned forward and tapped the Time Lord on the shoulder. "Doctor, no one here wants to hear your stupid stories, so give it a rest." she told him irritably.

The Doctor did a double take. "Zara?" he blinked. "What're you doin' here?"

"Going home." Zara replied dryly. "More to the point, what're you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm just... riding the bus." the Doctor lied. "Chocolate?" He offered her a piece of his Easter egg.

"I don't take sweets from strangers." Zara retorted.

Just then, there was a beeping sound and the Doctor handed his egg to the woman next to him while he began fishing in his coat pocket. "Oh, sorry, hold on to that for me. Actually, go on, finish it. It's full of sugar and I'm determined to keep these teeth." He bared his teeth then produced a small, crude electrical device from his pocket. "Ah! Oh, we've got excitation!" he grinned and shook the device, much to the bewilderment of the other passengers. "I'm picking up something very strange."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." the woman mumbled distractedly, anxiously glancing behind her at something. Zara followed her gaze and saw a police car in the distance which appeared to be pursuing the bus.

As the bus entered the Gladwell Road tunnel, Zara turned her attention back to the Doctor, who was staring intently at his gadget. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked him.

"Looking for Rhondium particles." the Doctor replied. "This thing detects them." He tapped his gadget. "The little dish should go round, that little dish there..."

"Right now, a way out would come in pretty handy." the dark-haired woman muttered. "Can you detect me one of those?"

"Why? What did ya do?" Zara asked her, realising that the police were after her.

Before the woman could answer, Zara's attention was caught by the black woman. "Lou, can you hear them?" she asked her husband.

"Hear what, sweetheart?" the husband asked.

"The voices. So many voices." the wife said cryptically. "Calling to us. Calling so far."

"Oh, the little dish is going round!" the Doctor said, drawling Zara's attention back to him.

"Fascinating." the dark-haired woman said flatly.

"And round." the Doctor continued, standing up and waving the device around the aisle. "Woah..." He jumped back as sparks flew from the device.

"Excuse me, do you mind?" the blonde woman grumbled.

"For God's sakes, Doctor, put that thing away before ya hurt someone!" Zara snapped at the Doctor.

"Sorry, that was my little dish." the Time Lord waved her off.

"Can't you turn that thing off?" the dark-haired woman asked him irritably.

"What was your name?" the Doctor asked her.

"Christina."

"Christina, hold tight." the Doctor warned, sitting back down again. "You too, Zara. Everyone, hold on!"

"Why?" Zara asked, but got her answer immediately when the bus suddenly started lurching violently, throwing everyone forward, jerking everyone forward.

"The voices!" the black woman cried. "Oh, the voices, they're screaming!"

The bus's windows shattered and the lights blew out. A young man came tumbling down the stairs from the top deck. "What's going on?!" he shouted.

"Down!" the Doctor urged him, pulling him behind a seat.

There was a dazzling white flash and everyone hit the deck as the last of the windows blew out.

~8~

The Doctor was the first person to recover when the rough ride had stopped. He stood up and looked around to see daylight streaming through the shattered windows. He walked to the doors, opened them and looked out to see a vast desert with three suns, clearly nowhere on Earth and no sign of life anywhere. "End of the line." the Doctor said as he stepped outside. "Call it a hunch, but I think we've gone a little bit further than Brixton.

"You don't say." Zara said numbly as she and most of the other passengers joined him. "I need this, don't I?" she muttered. "Can't even go on a bus now without something going wrong!"

"That's impossible!" the blonde woman cried, looking at the sky. "There are three suns! Three of 'em!"

"Like when all those planets were up in the sky!" the young black man said.

"Yeah, but that was the whole Earth that moved then." Zara told him. "And no sign of you, thank you very much." she said irritably to the Doctor, who was kneeling down to examine the sand.

"Oh, man, we're on another world!" the young black man cried in shock and terror.

The driver meanwhile was examining the top deck was badly crumpled and smoke was wafting from the scorched steelwork. "Looks intact, though." he said. "Not as bad as it looks. The chassis' still holding together. Oh, my boss is gonna murder me!"

"Was there anyone else upstairs?" Zara asked.

"No, just me." the young white man replied.

"Well, that's something." Zara said and went over to join the Doctor.

"Can you still drive it?" the blonde woman asked the driver.

"No, no, the wheels're stuck." he replied, gesturing to the wheels that were buried deep in the sand. "Look at 'em. They're never gonna budge."

Christina approached the Doctor, donning a pair of sunglasses. "Ready for every emergency." she said casually.

"Me too." Zara said, slipping on a pair of sunglasses she'd had on her person.

The Doctor removed his own glasses and used his sonic screwdriver to tint the lenses, turning them into sunglasses then he slipped them again and resumed his examination of the sand. "Me three." he said.

"And what're your names again?" Christina asked them.

"Zara Whitland, Unified Intelligence Taskforce." Zara recited, showing Christina her U.N.I.T I.D pass card.

"And you?" Christina asked the Doctor.

"I'm the Doctor." he replied.

"Name, not rank." Christina snorted.

"The Doctor."

"Surname?"

"The Doctor."

"You're called the Doctor?"

"Yes I am." he said proudly.

"That's not a name, it's a psychological condition." Christina snorted.

"Tell me about it." Zara agreed. "He's down on our records as 'Doctor John Smith', so why he doesn't just use that I dunno."

"Funny sort of sand, this." the Doctor commented. "There's a trace of something else." He then tasted some of the sand on his fingers, only to squirm in disgust. "Not good." he groaned.

"Ugh, you're disgusting!" Zara grimaced.

"It wouldn't be good, it's sand." Christina told the Doctor, eying him oddly again.

"No, it tastes like..." the Doctor began, then stopped himself and got to his feet. "Never mind."

"Never mind what?" Zara probed.

Before the Doctor could answer, the young black man came storming over, pointing an accusing finger at the Doctor. "Hold on, I saw you, mate! You had that thing, that machine. Did you make this happen?!"

"Oh, Humans on buses always blamin' me." the Doctor muttered, remembering his disastrous bus ride on Midnight.

"He has a point." Zara said. "I've rode this bus thousands of times and nothing's gone wrong, then the one time you show up, we end up on Tatooine!"

"Alright, if ya must know, I was tracking a hole in the fabric of reality." the Doctor told everyone. "Call it a hobby. But it was a tiny hole, no danger to anyone. Suddenly, it gets big an' we drive right through it."

"But where is it?" the driver asked, looking around at the barren desert. "There's nothing but sand."

"Must've been invisible." Zara mused. "After all, you didn't see anything before you drove through it."

"Here it is." the Doctor said, reaching down and picking up some sand. "We drove through this." He threw the sand at the space behind the bus, revealing a swirling ripple in the air that disappeared shortly.

"And that's...?" Christina asked.

"A door." the Doctor replied. "A door in space."

"So what you're sayin' is, on the other side of that is home?" the driver asked hopefully. "We can get to London through there?"

"The bus came through," the Doctor told him, "but we can't."

"Well then, what're we waiting for?" the driver said, not paying attention, and dashed towards the portal.

"No, don't!" the Doctor yelled, but it fell on deaf ears.

"I'm going home, mate!" the driver said and ran into the portal, only for his flesh to be melted away, leaving a charred skeleton, which promptly disappeared, no doubt landing back in London.

"He was a skeleton, man!" the young black man stared in horror. "It was bones, just bones!"

"It was the bus." the Doctor explained. "Look at the damage. That was the bus protectin' us. Great big box of metal."

"Like a faraday cage?" Zara probed.

"Like in a thunderstorm, yeah?" the young white man added, comforting the blonde woman. "Safest place is inside a car, cos' the metal conducts the lightning right through. We did it in school."

"But if we can only travel back inside the bus..." Christina eyed the damaged bus carefully. "A Faraday cage needs to be closed. This thing's been ripped wide open."

"Slightly different dynamics with a wormhole." the Doctor said. "There's enough metal to make it work, I think. I hope."

"That isn't very reassuring." Zara muttered.

"So we have to drive five tonnes of bus, which is currently buried in the sand, and we've got nothing but our bare hands." Christina stated, then looked at the Doctor. "Correct?"

"I'd say nine an' a half tonnes, but the point still stands, yes." the Doctor nodded.

"Then we need to apply ourselves to the problem with discipline." Christina decided. "Which starts with appointing a leader."

"Yes, at last." the Doctor said smugly. "Thank you, so..."

"Well, thank goodness you've got me." Christina said, causing Zara to nearly snort at the Doctor's expression. "Everyone do exactly as I say. Inside the bus immediately."

"Is it safe in there?" the young white man asked.

"I don't think anything's safe any more," Christina told him, "but if it's a choice between baking in there or roasting out here, I'd say baking is slower. Come on, all of you, right now! And you two, Doctor and Miss Whitland."

"Yes, ma'am!" the Doctor mock saluted.

"I like her." Zara remarked.

~8~

Everyone was soon all sat in the bus with Christina laying down points. "Point 5: the crucial thing is, do not panic. Quite apart from anything else, the smell of sweat inside this thing is reaching atrocious levels. We don't need to add any more. Point 6: team identification. Names, I'm Christina. She..." she gestured to Zara, "is Zara Whitland from U.N.I.T."

"That's me." Zara said, giving a small wave.

"This man is apparently the Doctor." Christina gestured to the Time Lord.

"Hello!" the Doctor gave one of his trademark cheeky waves.

"And you?" Christina turned to the young white man.

"Nathan." he answered.

"I'm Barclay." the young black man introduced himself.

"Angela, Angela Whittaker." the blonde woman said.

"My name's Louis, everyone calls me Lou," the black man said, "and this is Carmen." He gestured to his wife.

"Excellent." Christina said. "Memorise those names. There might be a test. Point 7: assessment and application of knowledge. Over to you, the Doctor."

"I thought you were in charge." the Doctor commented.

"I am," Christina grinned, "and a good leader utilises her strength. You seem to be the brain box so start boxing."

"Right." the Doctor said, getting to his feet. "So, the Wormhole. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was just an accident."

"No, it wasn't." Carmen spoke up. "That thing, the doorway. Someone made it. For a reason."

"How d'you know?" the Doctor asked her.

"She's got a gift." Lou explained. "Ever since she was a littel girl, she can just... tell things. We do the lottery, twice a week."

"You don't look like millionaires." Zara remarked.

"No, but we win £10." Lou replied. "Every week, twice a week, £10." He smiled affectionately at his wife. "Don't tell me that's a gift."

The Doctor decided to test Carmen, so put his right hand behind his back and held up three fingers "Tell me, Carmen. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three." Carmen answered.
The Doctor held up a fourth finger.
"Four."

"Very good!" the Doctor said. "Low level psychic ability, exacerbated by an alien sun." He sat down across from Carmen. "What d'you see, Carmen? Tell me. What's out there?"

Carmen looked out into space for a moment, then answered "Something... something is coming. Riding out on the wind. And shining."

"What is it?" Zara asked.

"Death." Carmen answered. "Death is coming."

"We're going to die." Angela wept.

"I knew it man, I said so!" Barclay panicked.

"We can't die out here!" Nathan cried. "No one's gonna find us!"

"Oh, great, that's all we need!" Zara grumbled. "Ya know, panicking's not gonna help anyone!"

"Shut up, we're not your soldiers!" Barclay snapped.

"It's not doing any good..." Christina tried to maintain control of the situation.

"You're upsetting her, be quiet." Lou said, putting his arm around his wife.

"Will we be bones, like the bus driver?" Nathan breathed.

"Stop whimpering, all of you!" Christina tried.

"Oh, this is getting us nowhere!" Zara huffed, throwing her hands up in dismay.

"Alright now, everyone, STOP IT!" the Doctor shouted, silencing everyone and the only sound left was Angela sobbing. The Doctor stood in front of her and gripped her shoulders. "Angela, look at me. Angela, Angela, answer me this question., Angela. That's it, at me, at me."
Angela stopped crying and looked at him.
"There we go, Angela, just answer me one thing. When you got on this bus, where were you going?"

"Doesn't matter now, does it?" Angela sobbed.

"Answer the question."

"Just home."

"And what's home?"

"Me, and Mike and Suzanne. That's my daughter. She's 18."

"Suzanne. Good." the Doctor nodded and turned to Barclay. "What about you?"

"Dunno." he shrugged. "Going round Tina's?"

"Who's Tina? Ya girlfriend?" Zara asked him.

"Not yet." Barclay replied

"Good boy." the Doctor smiled, then turned to Nathan "What about you, Nathan?"

"Bit strapped for cash." Nathan shrugged. "I lost my job last week. I was gonna stay in and watch TV."

"Brilliant. And you two?" the Doctor asked Lou and Carmen.

"I was going to cook." Lou replied.

"It's his turn tonight." Carmen added. "Then I clear up."

"What's for tea?" the Doctor asked them.

"Chops." Lou replied. "Nice couple of chops and gravy. Nothing special."

"Oh, that's special, Lou." the Doctor told him. "That is so special. Chops an' gravy, Mmm! What about you, Zara?"

"I was goin' home." Zara shrugged. "I'd finished work and I was going home to have an Indian and watch telly."

"Christina?"

"I was going... so far away." Christina answered vaguely.

"Far away, Indian, chops an' gravy, watching TV, Mike an' Suzanne, poor old Tina." the Doctor recited.

"Hey!" Barclay said indignantly.

"Just think of them." the Doctor told everyone. "'Cos that planet out there, all three suns an' wormholes an' alien sand, that planet is nothing. You hear me? Nothing compared to all those things waiting for you. Food and home and people. Hold on to that, 'Cos we're gonna get there, I promise. I'm gonna get you home."

~8~

The Doctor, Zara and Christina stood outside, surveying the bus when Nathan and Barclay stepped out with the remains of the top deck seats. "Here we go, my boys!" the Doctor grinned. "We lay a flat surface between the bus an' the wormhole, like duckboards, an' reverse into it."

"Let some air out of the tires." Christina added. "Just a little bit. Spreads the weight, gives you more grip."

"Hmm, good idea." Zara noted.

"Holidays in the Kalahari." Christina smirked

"Yeah, but these wheels go deep." Barclay pointed out

"Then start digging." Christina said simply

"With what?"

"You could try one of the loose body panels." Zara suggested.

"Or... you could just use this." Christina said, reaching into her backpack and producing a fold-up shovel, which she handed to Barclay.

"Got anything else in there?" the Doctor questioned.

"Try this." Christina went into her bag again and produced a hatchet "Might help with the seats." She handed it to Nathan.

"Thanks." Nathan nodded and went back inside the bus.

"I can't find the keys." Angela called from the driver's seat.

"Buses don't have keys." Zara told her. "They've got a master switch; one button to start the engine, the other one to shut it down."

"Right, hold on." Angela nodded, then noticed a bank of switches. "Ok, I got it." She flipped the master switch. "Here we go, hold tight. Ding-ding." She hit the start button, only for the engine to splutter and die out.

"Oh, that doesn't sound too good." the Doctor frowned.

Zara went round to the back of the bus and opened the bonnet. "No wonder." she called. "The engine's clogged up, look."

The Doctor and Christina joined her and saw that the engine was indeed festooned with tiny grains of sand. Christina walked round to where Nathan and Barclay were working "Anyone know mechanics?" she asked them.

"Me!" Barclay held up his hand. "I did a two-week NVQ at a garage. Didn't finish it, but..."

"Off ya go, then." the Doctor ordered. "Try strippin' the air filter. Fast as ya can. Back in two ticks." And he began to walk away.

"Wait a minute!" Christina ran after him. "You're the man with all the answers. I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"Me neither." Zara agreed, coming along as well.

They were soon walking a short distance into the desert. "Easier if ya left that backpack behind." the Doctor remarked

"Where I go, it goes." Christina said simply.

"You've got a backpack like Batman's belt and the police are after ya." Zara surmised. "Who are you, Christina?"

"More to the point, who's he?" Christina countered, gesturing to the Doctor. "You obviously know him, so who is he?"

"I only met him the once," Zara replied, "but I've read his U.N.I.T personnel file. Doesn't really tell me much about him, but it helps."

Christina then got back to the problem at hand. "Come on then, tell me. If Carmen's right, if that wormhole's not an accident, then what is it? Has someone done this on purpose?"

"I don't know." the Doctor replied. "But every instinct of mine is tellin' me to get everyone off this planet, right now."

"Do you think we can?" Zara asked him.

"I live in hope." the Doctor shrugged.

"That must be nice." Christina remarked. "It's Christina De Souza." She extended a hand to them. "To be precise, Lady Christina De Souza."

"Ooh, that's handy." the Doctor remarked, as he and Zara shook Christina's hand. "Cos' I'm a lord."

"Seriously? The lord of where?" Christina asked.

"It's quite a big estate." the Doctor waved her off.

"Oh, that tells us a lot. Mind if I write that down?" Zara said sarcastically.

"No, but there's something more about you, Doctor." Christina said thoughtfully. "That device you were carrying. And the wormhole. Like you knew. And the way you stride about the place, like..."

"Like?" the Doctor questioned

"Like you think you're god." Zara snorted.

"But there's something else." Christina said. "Like you're quite..."

"Anyway!" the Doctor cut in. "C'mon! Allons-y!" And they began to climb a sand dune

"Qui, mais pas si nous allons vers un cauchemar." Christina said.

"What're you two talkin' about?" Zara questioned.

"Oh, just French." the Doctor waved her off. "How's Shareen? She settling in on Earth again?"

"Don't know, don't care." Zara said indifferently.

"She's your sister." the Doctor tried.

"Not for the past five years she hasn't." Zara retorted. "She ran off just 'cos she couldn't stand the fact that I'm better than her."

They reached the top of a sand dune and looked out to the horizon. "Ah, don't like the look of that." the Doctor frowned, seeing dark clouds forming in the distance.

"Storm clouds." Christina shrugged. "Must be hundreds of miles away."

"Getting closer." the Doctor warned.

"But if that's a sand storm, we're gonna get buried alive!" Zara realised.

"It's a storm." the Doctor murmured "Who say's it's sand?"

~8~

Carmen and Lou were sat in the bus, Carmen's eyes closed. "Closer... and closer and closer..." she murmured.

Just then, the Doctor came back on the bus, followed by the others. "Where is it?" the Doctor asked Zara, who had told him about her phone.

"I dropped it on the seat." Zara replied, and the Doctor found the phone.

"You're hardly gonna get a signal." Christina said flatly. "We're on another planet."

"Oh, just watch me." the Doctor replied, sonicing the phone to enable universal roaming. "Right now, bit of hush, thank you." he told everyone. "Gotta remember the number. Very important number." And he dialled a number.

"Hello, Pizza Geronimo?"

"And again." the Doctor said as he quickly hung up and redialled. "7-6, not 6-7."

"This is the Unified Intelligence Taskforce." an automated voice said over the phone. "Please select one of the following four options..."

"Oh, I hate these things." the Doctor grumbled.

"Gimme that." Zara huffed, snatching the phone from him. "It is my phone, after all." She held down the zero key until she got through to a woman's voice.

"U.N.I.T helpline, which department would you like?"

"This is Technician Whitland. Put me through to the commanding officer investing the bus disappearance at the Gladwell Road tunnel." Zara ordered, putting the phone on loudspeaker so the Doctor could hear.

"Putting you through, Miss Whitland." the woman on the other end acknowledged.

Moments later, the voice of Captain Erisa Magambo came over the phone, "Miss Whitland. This is Captain Magambo."

"Ah, glad you're in charge, Captain." Zara said. She knew that Captain Magambo was an officer who knew how to get things done. "I'm with the Doctor..."

"The Doctor?" Magambo asked, sounding delighted. "Might I say, it's an honour."

"Did you just salute?" the Doctor frowned.

"No." Magambo answered slowly, clearly lying.

"Back to the problem at hand, Captain..." Zara cut in. "Are you at the tunnel where the bus disappeared?"

"Yes, Miss Whitland. Might I ask how you know about the disappearance?"

"Because we're on the bus that disappeared." Zara replied. "We're on some desert planet. Haven't a clue where, though."

"A body came through here. Have you sustained any more fatalities?"

"No, and we're not going to." the Doctor replied. "But I'm stuck. I haven't got the TARDIS and I need to analyse that wormhole."

"We have a scientific advisor on site. Dr Malcolm Taylor. He's just the man you need. He's a genius."

"Is he?" the Doctor scoffed. "We'll see about that."

"Oi, I'l have you know that Dr Taylor is twice the scientific advisor that you ever were!" Zara glared. "He's a bit eccentric, but he really is a genius."

"Here's the Doctor." they heard Magambo say to someone

"No, I'm alright now, thanks." a Welshman's voice replied. "It was just a bit of a sore throat, although I've got to be honest, a cup of tea would be nice."

"No, it's THE Doctor." the Doctor and Zara heard Magambo tell him.

"D'you mean the 'Doctor' doctor?" the man, clearly Malcolm asked, sounding star struck.

"I know." Magambo told him. "We all want to meet him one day, but we know what that day will bring."

"Tell me about it, Captain." Zara agreed.

"Oi!" the Doctor pouted.

"Hello, Doctor?" Malcolm asked. "Oh, my goodness!"

"Yes, I am." the Doctor grinned. "Hello, Malcolm!"

"The Doctor!" Malcolm chuckled. "Cor blimey! I can't believe I'm actually speaking to you! I mean, I've read all the files."

"Really?" the Doctor asked, his pride touched. "What was ya favourite? The giant robot?"

"Hello? Can we concentrate?" Zara interrupted.

"Right, right." the Doctor nodded. "Let's sort out that wormhole. S'cuse us." he said to the other passengers and he and Zara moved to the driver's cab to converse to U.N.I.T in private. "Malcolm, something's not makin' sense here." the Doctor said. "We've got a storm and a wormhole, and I can't help but think there's a connection. We need a complete full-range analysis of that wormhole, the whole thing."

"I've probably got the wrong idea, but I've wired up an integrator." Malcolm said. "I thought it could measure the energy signature."

"And has it?" Zara asked.

"It's quite extraordinary." Malcolm remarked. "I'm measuring an oscillation of 15 Malcolms per second."

"15 what?" the Doctor blinked.

"15 Malcolms. It's my own little term. A wavelength parcel of 10 kilohertz in 4 dimensions equals one Malcolm."

"You named a unit of measurement after yourself?" the Doctor raised a brow.

"Told ya he was a bit eccentric." Zara shrugged.

"It didn't do Mr Watt any harm." Malcolm said.

"Yeah, just don't give the Doctor any ideas." Zara remarked.

"Furthermore." Malcolm continued "100 Malcoms equals a Bernard."

"An' who's that? Your dad?" the Doctor asked.

"Don't be ridiculous." Malcom snorted. "That's Quatermass."

"Hello? Can we get back to the reason why we're all here in the first place?" Zara said irritably. "Dr Taylor, how's your scanner set up?"

"To register what it can't detect and inverted the image."

"You did what?" the Doctor stared

"Is that wrong?"

"No, Malcolm, that's brilliant." the Doctor praised. "So you can actually measure the wormhole. Ok, I admit it, that is genius."

"Told ya." Zara smirked.

"The Doctor called me a genius!" they heard Malcolm say to Magambo.

"I know, I heard." Magambo said flatly.

"Now, run a capacity scan." the Doctor ordered. "I need a full report. Call me back when you've done it. And Malcolm? You're my new best friend.

"And you're mine too, sir." Malcolm said before the Doctor took the phone and ended the call.

"I'm gonna need to keep hold of this." he said to Zara.

"Then I'm not letting you out of my sight." Zara said, and they left the bus, Christina accompanying them.

They climbed back up the sand dune they'd been on earlier and the Doctor used the phone's camera to take a photo of the approaching clouds. "Send this back to Earth." he explained. "See if Malcolm can analyse it."

"He can." Zara said. "I've seen what he can do."

"There's something in those clouds." Christina observed, eyeing them closely. "Something shining. Look."

"Like metal." the Doctor observed

"Why would there be metal in a storm?" Zara wandered.

Christina meanwhile heard a chirping sound. "Did you hear that?" she asked the others.

"Hold on. Busy." the Doctor waved her off as he snapped away at the clouds.

"There was a noise," Christina muttered, "like a sort of..." She looked around to see an alien straight out of an old fashioned sci-fi movie, with a Humanoid body and an insectoid head watching them. "Doctor, Zara!" Christina warned, and the others spun round to see the alien.

"What the hell?!" Zara stared.

The alien walked closer to them, brandishing a blaster pistol and speaking in a clicking language. The Doctor responded in the same language. "That's 'wait'." he translated for the two Humans. "I shout 'Wait', people usually wait."

"You speak the language?" Christina asked him.

"Five billion." he answered, then spoke to the alien again. "That's begging for mercy." he translated.

The alien said something and wagged it's gun to the side. "I'm gonna guess it's tellin' us to move." Zara noted.

"Ooh, ya learnin'." the Doctor remarked as the alien motioned for them to move.

~8~

The alien escorted the trio to a spaceship, which had crashed in the sand nearby. "These fly things, they must be responsible." Christina pondered. "They brought us here."

"No, no, no, no no! Look at the ship, it's a wreck." the Doctor replied. "They crashed, just like us."

The inside of the ship was a complete mess; with wiring exposed, debris everywhere, and lights flickering on and off. "Is it me or is freezing in here?" Zara shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"The hull's made of photafine steel." the Doctor explained. "Turns cold when it's hot outside. Boiling hot desert outside, freezin' ship inside."

"Handy in the summer, I s'pose." Zara shrugged.

"Both extremes." the Doctor said. "Since I met you, Christina, we've been through all the extremes!"

"That's how I like things, extreme." Christina smirked.

The Doctor looked around the ship with his usual geeky enthusiasm. "Oh, this is beautiful!" he grinned. "Intact, it must've been magnificent. A proper streamline deep-spacer!"

"Huh, looks more like an old steel mill to me." Zara countered.

Just then, a second fly-headed alien walked over to them and activated a device clipped to it's shirt. "Oh, good, right, yes." the Doctor said to it, then turned to Christina and Zara. "That's a telepathic translator. He can understand us."

"Still sounds like gibberish to me." Christina remarked as the two aliens said things in their language.

"Yeah, same here." Zara agreed.

"That's what I said, he can understand us. Doesn't work the other way." the Doctor explained. "'You will suffer for your crimes', etc." he translated. "'You have committed an act of violence against the Tritovore race.' Tritovores, they're called Tritovores. 'You came here in the 200 to destroy us.' Sorry, what's the 200?" he asked.

"The number of the bus, ya wally." Zara told him.

"Oh." the Doctor nodded and turned back to the Tritovores. ""No, look I think ya makin' the same mistake Christina did. I'm the Doctor, by the way. That's Zara and this is Christina, the honourable Lady Christina. At least I hope she's honourable. But we got pulled through that wormhole. The 200 doesn't look like that normally. It's broken, just the same as you."

The Tritovores conversed in their language then lowered their guns. "What're doing?" Christina asked warily.

"They believe me." the Doctor replied.

"What, just like that?"

"I've got a very honest face." the Doctor shrugged.

"Or maybe that translator device has a built-in lie detector." Zara said flatly.

"Plus the face." the Doctor pouted. "Right! So, first things first, there's a very strange storm headin' our way. Can ya send out a probe?"
The Tritovores clicked their consent and led them to a control console.
"Ah, they've lost power." the Doctor mused, looking at the console. "Hmm, the crash knocked the mainline crystalllography out of alignment. But if I can jiggle it back..." He kicked the panel and it sprang to life. "I thank you!" he mocked bowed as the Tritovores chittered. "Yes, I am! Frequently."

"Oh, get on with it, Doctor." Zara said impatiently.

"Okey-doke, let's launch that probe." the Doctor said and pulled a lever. A probe shot out of the ship and into space.

~8~

The probe's results were soon beamed back and the trio looked at a projection showing where they were. "The Scorpion Nebula." the Doctor explained to the women. "We're on the other side of the universe. Just what ya wanted, Christina, so far away."
The probe zoomed in on a planet.
"The planet of San Helios."

"And that's us?" Christina asked. "We're on another planet?"

"We have been for quite a while."

"Yeah, but out there it's nothing but desert." Zara countered. "If it weren't for the three suns, it could just as easily be Dubai or something."

The Tritovores chittered something.
"The Tritovores were going to trade with San Helios." the Doctor translated. "Population of one hundred billion. Plenty of waste matter for 'em to absorb."

"By waste matter, you mean...?" Christina questioned, not really sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"They feed off what others leave behind." the Doctor confirmed. "From their... behind, if ya see what I mean."

"Ugh, I did not need to know that." Zara squirmed.

"It's perfectly natural." the Doctor said. "They are flies."

"Charming." Christina wrinkled her nose. "Just remind me never to kiss them."

The hologram changed to show a futuristic city. "San Helios City." the Doctor explained.

"Now that's more like it." Zara said. "Why couldn't we have ended up there?"

"That's amazing." Christina breathed, then noticed the blasé expression on the Doctor's face. "You've seen this sort of thing before, haven't you?"

"Thousands of times." the Doctor confirmed.

"That lordship of yours, the Lord of where?" Christina asked him.

"Of time." the Doctor replied. "I'm from a race of people called Time Lords."

"Pompous much?" Zara muttered to herself.

"You're an alien?" Christina stared at the Doctor.

"Yeah, but you don't have to kiss me either." the Doctor said flippantly.

"You look Human." Christina remarked.

"You look Time Lord." the Doctor countered.

"Anyway..." Zara interrupted, getting them back to the problem at hand, "if that's San Helios, then maybe we can find that city and they might have a spaceship they could use to get us home."

"Good idea." Christina agreed.

"I don't think it's that simple." the Doctor said as the hologram changed to show desert "We're in the city right now."

"We can't be!" Zara scoffed.

"It's sand!" Christina agreed. "That first image, the temples and things, what's that, then? Ancient history?"

One of the Tritovores clicked something.
"The image was taken last year." the Doctor translated.

"How can a city turn into a desert in a year?" Zara asked sceptically.

"I said there was something in the sand." the Doctor murmured, kneeling down and picking up a handful of sand which he let slip through his fingers. "The city, the oceans, the mountains, the wildlife and 100 billion people, turned to sand. All those voices in Carmen's head; she was hearing them die!"

"Oh, my God!" Zara paled.

"But I've got sand in my hair!" Christina spluttered. "Oh my God!"

"Something destroyed the whole San Helios." the Doctor frowned.

"Yes, but in my hair!" Christina squirmed.

Just then, Zara's mobile rang and the Doctor answered. "Malcolm, tell us the bad news."

"Oh, you are clever." Malcolm answered. "It IS bad news. It's the wormhole, Doctor, it's getting bigger! We've gone way past 100 Bernards, I haven't invented a name for that."

"How can it get bigger by itself?" the Doctor wandered.

"Well, that's why I'm phoning!" Malcolm said. "You'll work it out, if I know you, sir."

"Doctor," Magambo's voice took over, "we estimate the circumference of your invisible wormhole is now four miles, heading upwards. I've grounded all flights above London. We can't risk anyone else falling through."

"Good work." the Doctor agreed. "Both of you."

"But I have to know. Does that wormhole constitute a danger to this planet?" Magambo asked seriously.

Zara took the phone from the Doctor. "To be honest, we don't know, Captain." she told Magambo. "We can only hope the Doctor here can find some way of plugging the thing once we're back on Earth."

Just then, the phone beeped and the Doctor took it from her. ""Oh, sorry, call waiting. Gotta go." he said and hung up on U.N.I.T, then answered the other call. "Yep?"

"Doctor, it's Nathan. We've got those duckboard things down, but..."

"It's my fault." the Doctor heard Angela say tearfully.

"No it's not. Don't say that." Nathan comforted her.

"Why, what's happened?" the Doctor asked.

"We kept on turning the engine," Nathan replied, "but we're out of diesel, used it all up. Even if we can get those wheels out, this bus is never gonna move."

Zara had overheard this. "The fuel tank must've been damaged by the wormhole." she realised. "What're we gonna do now, Doctor?"

The Doctor slowly lowered the phone, trying to think of another way off the planet. "What is it, what's wrong?" Christina asked him.

"You promised you'd get us home." Nathan said. "Doctor, are you still there?"

"Doctor, what're we gonna do?" Zara asked, annoyed at the Doctor's silence.

Just then, a beeping came from one of the monitors and the Tritovores began chatting.
"It's the probe." the Doctor explained to the women. "It's reached the storm." He eyed the projection.

"What's he saying?" Christina asked as one of the Tritovores clicked worriedly.

"It's not a storm." the Doctor replied grimly and the projection changed to show what appeared to be a swarm of stingrays.

"It's a swarm." Christina breathed. "Millions of them.

"Billions." the Doctor said as one of the stingrays flew straight at the camera and the visual cut off. "Ah, we've lost the feed." the Doctor groaned. "I think it got eaten. Everything on this planet gets eaten."

"How far away is that swarm?" Christina asked.

"100 miles." the Doctor answered. "But at that speed, it'll be here in 20 minutes."
One of the Tritovores asked something.
"No, they're not just comin' for us." the Doctor answered. "They want the wormhole."

"Sh*t! They're heading for Earth!" Zara breathed in horror.

"Show the analysis." the Doctor ordered the Tritovores, who brought up a 3D image of one of the stingrays. "Incredible." the Doctor remarked. ""They swarm out of a wormhole, strip the planet bare, then move on to the next world, start the cycle all over again."

"So they make the wormholes?" Christina asked.

"Must do."

"How can stingrays make wormholes?" Zara frowned.

"And if the wormholes belongs to them, why are they 100 miles away?" Christina added.

"Because they need to be?" the Doctor pondered. "No, that's bonkers. Hang on. Yes! Oh, do you see? Billions of them, flying in formation, all around the planet. Round and round and round, faster and faster and faster, till they generate a rupture in space. The speed of them, and the numbers, and the size, all of that rips the wormhole into existence!"

"And the wormhole's getting bigger..." Christina began.

"Because they're getting closer." the Doctor confirmed.

"But how do they get through?" Christina wandered. "Cos' that wormhole's a killer, we've seen it."

"No, no, see the exoskeleton?" the Doctor replied, gesturing to the analysis.

"Metal." Zara observed. "They've got metal bones?"

"They eat metal, and extrude it into the exoskeleton! So their velocity makes the wormhole, then their body makes it safe! Perfect design!" the Doctor grinned.

"Are you enjoying this?!" Zara glared at him. "Those things are gonna fly though that wormhole and destroy everything on Earth, an' you're admiring them?! You're right, you are an alien!" she shook her head in disgust.

"I can't help it!" the Doctor blustered. "The worse it gets, the more I love it!"

"And that's why Torchwood were after you." Zara said darkly.

"The thing is, you're both missing the obvious." Christina spoke up, getting the Doctor off the hook. "We came here through the wormhole, yes? But our Tritovore friends didn't. They came here to trade with San Helios. Therefore, the question is, why did they crash?"

"Ah, good question." the Doctor nodded and turned to the Tritovores. "Like she said, why did you crash?"
One of the Tritovores led them to a room with a large opening in the floor.
"Oh, yes. Gravity well." the Doctor nodded. "Goes all the way down to the engine. So what happened?" he asked the Tritovore, who clicked an answer. "'The drive system stalled'." the Doctor translated for Christina and Zara. "10 miles up, they fell out of the sky."

"But how did that happen?" Zara asked the Tritovore, who shrugged.

"Which means 'No idea.'" Christina surmised.

"Yeah, but wait a minute." the Doctor said. "That's a crystal nucleus down there, yes?" he asked the Tritovore who nodded. "And it looks like it survived the crash. If the crystal's intact, oh yes, that's better than diesel!"

"What, you can use the crystal to move the bus?" Christina asked

"I think so. The spaceship's a write-off, but the 200's small enough." the Doctor replied.

"And how's an alien crystal gonna move a bus?" Zara asked sceptically.

"In a super clever outer space way, just trust me." the Doctor waved her off and brought up a visual feed on a monitor beside the gravity well. "There's the crystal! It's fallen to the bottom of the well. Have ya got access shafts?" he asked the Tritovore, who clicked an answer. "Frozen?" the Doctor sighed. "Maybe I can open 'em! Internal comms, put those on." he told the women, tossing them both a pair of Bluetooth-like devices. "You two stay here, keep an eye on the shaft. Tell me if anything happens." And he and the Tritovores went back to the control room.

"Yes, sir(!)" Zara muttered sarcastically.

"You don't like him, do you?" Christina smirked, removing her backpack and sitting down on the edge of the shaft.

"He's an arrogant git." Zara huffed. "I had to work with him during the ATMOS mess. He spent the whole time being a d*ck to the commanding officer an' then he just buggered off and left us to clean up the mess."

"That's what men do." Christina snorted, opening her backpack and unpacking a harness.

"What're ya doing?" Zara asked her.

"Getting the crystal." Christina replied simply.

"Christina, Zara? If you see a panel opening in that shaft, let me know." the Doctor said over the earpieces.

"Nothing yet." Christina replied, setting up her harness.

"Anything now?"

"'Fraid not." Christina replied, tying her hair back.

"Any sign of movement?"

"No." Zara told him. "Whatever you're doin', it's not working."

"How's this?"

"Nothing." Christina told him, setting up a wire cable and winch.

"Any result?"

"What d'ya think? No!" Zara told him.

Christina meanwhile attached the cable to her harness. "Let me get this right. You need the crystal?" she asked the Doctor, pulling a small torch from her bag and attaching it by Velcro to the harness. "Then consider it done."

"Why, what d'ya mean?" the Doctor asked.

Zara realised what Christina was doing. "You're not gonna bungy jump, are ya?!" she asked as Christina stood on the edge.

At that moment, the Doctor came in. "The aristocracy survives for a reason." Christina smirked at him. "We're ready for anything." And she promptly dived into the shaft before either the Doctor or Zara could stop her.

"No!" the Doctor shouted and soniced the winch, bringing Christina to a stop. "That's better." the Doctor said

"I decide when I stop, thank you." Christina said indignantly.

"Ya about to hit the security grid." the Doctor told her. "Look."

Christina looked down to see a cracking grid of energy just a few inches below her. "Excellent. So what do I do?"

"Try the big red button." the Doctor instructed.

Christina did just that and the grid deactivated. "Well done!"

"Now come back up!" the Doctor urged her. "I can do that!"

"Or me." Zara added. "I took gymnastics, I can do it!"

"Oh, don't you wish!" Christina snorted.

"Slowly!" the Doctor cautioned her.

"Yes, sir." Christina grinned and resumed her descent

"Quite the mystery, aren't you?" the Doctor commented. "Lady Christina de Souza; carrying a winch in her bag."

"No stranger than you, Spaceman." Christina retorted.

"I had this friend once, she called me 'Spaceman'." the Doctor sighed, remembering Donna.

"And was she right?" Christina asked. "Do you zoom about the place in a rocket?"

"Well, a little blue box." the Doctor replied, while Zara decided to have a mooch in Christina's backpack. "Travels in more than space. It can journey through time, Christina. Oh, the places I've been. World War One. The creation of the universe, the end of the universe, the war between China an' Japan..."

"Lucky you." Zara grunted, producing an ancient golden chalice from Christina's backpack.

"And the court of King Athelstan, 924 AD." the Doctor remarked to Christina. "But I don't remember you being there, so what're you doing with this?"

"Excuse me, a gentlemen never goes through a lady's possessions." Christina said indignantly.

"He didn't; I did." Zara said. "Doctor, what is that?"

"It's the cup of Athelstan." the Doctor explained. "Given to the first king of Britain, as a coronation gift from Hywell, king of the Welsh. But it's been held in the International Galley for 200 years. Which makes you, Lady Christina, a thief."

"I like to thing I liberated it." Christina said nonchalantely.

"Don't tell me you need the money."

"Daddy lost everything. He invested a fortune in the Icelandic banks."

"No, no, no, if ya short of cash, you rob a bank. Stealin' this, that's a lifestyle."

"I take you disapprove." Christina asked, not really caring.

"Absolutely. Except, that little blue box, I stole it from my own people."

"Good boy." Christina laughed, then she heard a screeching noise from somewhere nearby. "What the blazes was that?!"

"We never did find out why this thing crashed." Zara paled. "Christina, you'd better come back up."

"Too late. I can see it." Christina said, seeing a yellow crystal just below her.

"Careful." the Doctor warned. "Slowly." he turned to one of the Tritovores, who had joined them. "Have ya got an open vent system?"
The Tritovore answered in the affirmative.
"I thought so." the Doctor swallowed.

"What does that mean?" Christina asked, having overhead that.

"It's like when birds fly into the engines of a aircraft." the Doctor replied ominously.

"You don't mean...?" Zara breathed.

"One of the creatures!" Christina realised, looking around to see one of the stingrays lying dormant nearby.

"Got trapped in the vents, caused the crash." the Doctor confirmed. "Christina, get out!"

"It's not moving." Christina objected. "I think it's injured."

"No, it's dormant," the Doctor countered, "because it's so cold down there. But your body heat is raising the temperature."

"I tend to have that effect." Christina joked. "Almost there." She reached the crystal.

"Not just the crystal. I need the whole bed, the plate thing." the Doctor told her.

Christina grabbed the base and lifted it up. "I've got it!" she crowed, but then saw the creature begin to move.

The Doctor soniced the winch, bringing Christina back up. "Come on, come on." he grunted, frustrated at how slow it was.

Zara meanwhile checked a monitor to that the stingray was pursuing Christina. "Sh*t! It's following her!" she cried, then she saw Christina press the red button, reactivating the security grid and causing the stingray to fly into it, halting it in it's tracks. "Oh, she is good!" Zara laughed.

Christina reached the top of the shaft and the others helped her out of the harness. The Tritovore clicked something.
"Isn't she just?" the Doctor grinned and they ran back into the control room. "Commander?" the Doctor called to the other Tritovore. "Mission complete! Now we've gotta get back to the 200, all of us."
The Tritovore commander clicked something.
"Oh, don't be so daft!" the Doctor snorted. "A captain can leave 'is ship if there's a bus standin' by."

Then they all heard a rumbling. "What the hell was that?" Christina looked around uneasily "Is this place safe?"

More rumbling sounded. "It's the creature. It's not dead!" Zara realised.

"Maybe you didn't just hit one of 'em." the Doctor said to the Tritovores. "If ya hit a swarm..."

"D'you mean if there's more on board?" Christina stared.

"This ship's built inside a metal sleeve." the Doctor swallowed. "They can move through the infrastructure, all around us." Banging sounded all around them. "And they wake up hungry."

"Then let's get the hell outta here!" Zara urged. "You two as well, Baxter Stockman." she said to the Tritovores.

"You can come back to Earth, we'll find you a home." Christina offered.

"And that's the word of a lady!" the Doctor added. "Come on!" He gestured them forward. One of the Tritovores came forward and the other made to follow when a stingray dropped through the ceiling and devoured it whole. The other Tritovore immediately rushed the stingray, firing it's weapon ineffectually at it.
"No, don't!" the Doctor warned, but it was too late.
The stingray devoured the other Tritovore too."
"There's nothing we can do." the Doctor told the women. "Run!" And the trio promptly fled from the ship.

~8~

The Doctor, Zara and Christina hurried across the sands back towards the bus. As they ran, Zara's mobile rang. "Sorry, Dr Taylor, not now!" Zara said and hung up.

They reached the bus to find Nathan and Barclay waiting for them. "At last!" Nathan said, glad to see them back safely.

"Get inside, get them sitting down." the Doctor ordered, and the two men went inside the bus. "Now then, let's have a look." the Doctor mumbled, crouching down in the sand and fiddling with the crystal.

"So what does that crystal do?" Christina asked.

"Oh, nothing. Don't need the crystal." the Doctor replied. "Here..." he tossed it to Zara, "souvenir for U.N.I.T."

"So I risked my life for a souvenir." Christina grumbled.

"No, no, you risked ya life for these, clamps!" the Doctor replied, unhooking the clamps that had held the crystal in place. "Get that connected up to the steering." he told Zara, handing her the plate and Zara complied. The Doctor then began placing the clamps on each of the bus's four wheels. "One there." he muttered as he worked. "One there. One there. And one there!" He then dashed inside the bus.

"But what're the clamps for?" Christina asked, joining him. "Do they turn the wheels?"

"Something like that." the Doctor waved her off. "How's it going?" he asked Zara, who was working on attaching the plate to the steering wheel.

"I could really use a hammer here." Zara replied. She turned to Christina. "You haven't got one of those in that Batman's belt of a bag, have ya?"

"Funnily enough..." Christina reached into her bag and produced a hammer, which she handed to Zara.

"Gonna need ya phone again, Zara." the Doctor said.

"Tell ya what, I'll handle the phone, you do the hammering." Zara said, switching places with the Doctor, who took over the hammering duties while Zara dialled Malcom's number. "Dr Taylor, it's me." she said.

"I'm ready!" Malcolm said eagerly.

"Looks like the Doctor's found a way to get us back," Zara told him, "but there might be something comin' after us, so you're gonna have to find a way to close the wormhole once we're through."

"Would a compressed burst of feedback on a counter-oscillation suffice?"

"Oh, Malcolm, you're brilliant!" the Doctor praised, having overheard.

"Coming from you, sir, that means the world." Malcolm said.

"What sort of something?" Magambo's voice took over. "That wormhole is now measuring 10 miles and growing, I need to know the exact nature of the threat."

"Giant stingrays with metal exoskeletons, Captain." Zara replied. "They killed every single living thing on this planet an' they're gonna try to do the same to Earth, so if any get through after us, let 'em have it!"

"Understood, Miss Whitland." Magambo acknowledged.

"And Captain, please let us get back before ordering the wormhole to be closed. " Zara stressed, then ended the call.

The Doctor meanwhile was working on the steering wheel when it suddenly sparked. "Ah, it's not compatible!" he groaned. "Bus, spaceship, spaceship, bus. I need to weld the two systems together."

"And how do we do that?" Christina asked.

"We need something non-corrosive." the Doctor told her. "Malleable, ductile..." he thought for a moment. "Gold!" he looked expectantly at Christina.

"Oh no you don't." she said quickly.

"Christina, what's it worth now?" the Doctor tried.

Barclay came over, offering his wristwatch "Hey, hey, use this."

"I said gold." the Doctor told him

"It is gold." Barclay insisted

"Oh, they saw you comin'." the Doctor snorted. "Christina?"

Barclay returned to his seat while Christina reluctantly handed the chalice to the Doctor. "It's over 1,000 years old." she told him. "Worth 18 million pounds. Promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise." the Doctor replied, then he promptly flipped it over and started bashing the bottom with the hammer, "I lied." he shrugged.

"I hate you." Christina grumbled.

The Doctor finished up with the chalice and turned to the other passengers. "This is your driver speaking. Hold on tight!"

"What for?" Barclay questioned. "What's he doing?"

"Dunno, but just do what he says." Zara told him, then turned to the Doctor. "This idea of yours, you gonna tell us what it is?" she asked him.

"Wait an' see." the Doctor grinned, a glint in his eyes, then he began coaxing the engine. "Come on, that's it... You can do it, you beauty! One last trip!"
The bus's engine spluttered then sprang to life, before the bus began to levitate out of the sand like a hovercraft.

"Ah, you are so kidding me!" Barclay laughed.

"We're flying!" Nathan whooped. "It's flying!"

"He's flying the bus!" Lou cheered.

"It's a miracle!" Angela breathed.

"They were anti-gravity clamps!" Zara realised. "Why didn't ya just say so in the first place?" she scolded the Doctor.

"Didn't wanna spoil the surprise." the Doctor replied flippantly, prompting Zara to roll her eyes at him. "And around we go!" the Doctor said, and turned the bus in a half-circle in mid-air so that it was facing the wormhole.

"Doctor, they're coming!" Carmen warned, sensing that they had company.

The Doctor looked into the side mirror to see the swarm of stingrays getting ever closer. "Do you think this thing will survive the journey back?" Christina asked him.

"Only one way to find out." the Doctor replied. "Next stop..."

"Planet Earth!" Zara and Christina said together, and the Doctor drove the bus forward into the wormhole.

~8~

There was a flash of light then the bus shot out of the wormhole back in London, where U.N.I.T was on the scene. "It's London!" Barclay shouted in relief.

"We're back home!" Angela cheered.

"Oh, we made it!" Zara sighed in relief, delighted at seeing the familiar sight of her home city again.

"He did it!" Nathan praised. "He did it!"

Unfortunately, they were not alone as three of the stingrays followed them though. U.N.I.T promptly opened fire on them. Zara took out her mobile. "Dr Taylor, seal that wormhole!"

"My pleasure!" Malcolm replied and promptly hung up.

"Oh, that's nice!" Zara grumbled and redialled Malcolm. "Doctor..."

"Not now, I'm busy." Malcolm waved her off and hung up again.

"Oh, for God's sake..." Zara huffed and dialled for a third time. "Dr Taylor, will you just listen to me?!"

"It's not working!" Malcolm cried.

"We need that signal!" the Doctor called urgently. "We've got billion of those things about to fly through!"

"Well, what do I do?"

"Try looping it through the integrator and keep ramping the signal up." Zara urged him.

"But by how much?"

"I dunno, 500 Bernards! Just... do something!"

A moment later, Malcolm was back on the line. "It worked!"

The wormhole closed and U.N.I.T was able to deal with the stingrays. They'd brought a mortar with them which made short work of two of the stingrays, but the third went after the flying bus. "It's coming for us!" Nathan warned.

"Oh, no you don't!" the Doctor muttered and swerved the bus so that the back end struck the stingray and sent it back into the line of fire of the mortar, which brought the creature down.

"Ha! Let's see you try to devour the Earth now, you f*ckers!" Zara laughed.

"You sound just like Shareen." the Doctor commented.

Christina snorted at their little exchange. "Did I say I hated you?" she said to the Doctor. "I was lying." She grabbed the Doctor by his jacket and snogged him.

"Ugh, get a room!" Zara snorted at them.

Slightly nonplussed, the Doctor turned back to his driving. "Do not stand forward of this point." he said, doing his best bus conductor impression. "Ladies an' gentlemen, you have reached your destination. Welcome home, the mighty 200."
He gently piloted the bus into land in front of the soldiers who all applauded. The Doctor soniced the doors open and the passengers disembarked.

"Welcome back." a soldier said to everyone. "If you could just step away from the bus to be safe. Fast as you can. It's standard procedure. We need to screen you, and then you'll all be taken for debriefing."

"I don't count." the Doctor said as he disembarked, flashing his psychic paper at the soldier.

"Me neither." Zara added, showing the soldier her U.N.I.T pass card.

"No, but Doctor, Zara..." Christina began, making to follow them.

"With me, ma'am." the soldier said, taking her arm and leading her away.

The Doctor and Zara headed over to where Captain Magambo and and a short bespectacled men in a lab coat, clearly Malcolm, were standing. "Doctor!" Malcolm gasped.

"You must be Malcolm." the Doctor laughed.

Malcolm promptly launched himself at the Time Lord and pulled him into a bear hug. "Oh! Oh, I love you!" he exclaimed.
The women had to hide their laughter at that.
"I love you!" Macolm repeated.

"Well, there's no accounting for taste." Zara said quietly to Magambo.

Magambo gave an agreeing nod then cleared her throat. To your station, Dr Taylor."

"Yes, ma'am." Malcolm nodded. "I love you!" he called to the Doctor as he went back to his mobile lab.

"Doctor," Magambo saluted the Time Lord, "I salute you whether you like it or not. Welcome back, Miss Whitland."

"Glad to be back, Captain." Zara replied.

"Now, I take it we're safe from those things?" Magambo asked the Doctor, nodding to the bodies of the stingrays.

"They'll start again." the Doctor replied. "Generate a new doorway. It's not their fault, it's their natural cycle. But I'll see if I can nudge the wormholes onto uninhabited planets. Closer to home, captain, those two lads." He nodded towards Nathan and Barclay. "Very good in a crisis."

"Nathan kept his head and helped the others." Zara added, seeing where the Doctor was going. "And Barclay's good with engines, he got the bus working again. I think they'd fit right in with us."

"I'll see what I can do." Magambo nodded. "And I've got something for you, Doctor." She gestured to where some soldiers were unloading the TARDIS off the back of a lorry.

"Better than a bus, any day!" the Doctor grinned.

"Found in the gardens of Buckingham Palace." Magambo remarked as they walked over towards the box

"Oh, she doesn't mind." the Doctor shrugged.

"Mind if I have a look inside?" Zara asked him.

"Oh, go on, then." the Doctor conceded, opening the door for her. "And don't touch anything!" he warned as Zara went inside the box.

"Now, I've got three dead alien stingrays to clear up." Magambo said to the Doctor. "I don't suppose you fancy helping with the paperwork?"

"Not a chance." the Doctor smirked.

"Till me meet again, Doctor." Magambo conceded

"I hope so." the Doctor replied, shaking her hand, then Magambo went off to rejoin Malcolm.

Zara then emerged from the TARDIS. "That is bloody brilliant!" she grinned. "It really is bigger on the inside!"

Meanwhile, Christina found herself being scanned with a Geiger counter. "That's quite enough of that!" she snapped, losing patience, and ran over to the Doctor. "Little blue box, just like you said. Right then, off we go! Come on, show me the stars."

"No." the Doctor said simply.

"What?"

"I said no." the Doctor repeated.

"But I saved your lives and you saved mine." Christina protested.

"So?"

"We're surrounded by police. I'll go to prison."

"Should've thought of that before ya nicked the cup." Zara shrugged.

"But you were right, Doctor, it's not about the money." Christina tried. "I only steal things for the adventure, and today, with you two... I want more days like this. I want every day to be like this. Why not?"

"People have travelled with me and I've lost them. Lost them all." the Doctor said gravely. "Never again."

"Is that why ya ditched Shareen an' gave her that posh house?" Zara asked him.

"Well, I didn't ditch her..." the Doctor began, "I just felt that she'd be safer on Earth."

"Fair enough." Zara conceded. "And I might not like Shareen, I don't want anything bad to happen to her. Anyway, bye, Doctor." And she went off to join Magambo and Malcolm.

Just then, a police detective inspector came striding smugly over. "Lady Christina De Souza, oh, I have waited a long time to say this." he boasted. "I am arresting you on suspicion of theft."
His officers handcuffed Christina.
"You do not have to say anything, etc, etc. Dennison, take her away."
And Christina was led away towards a police car.

Just then, Carmen called over to the Time Lord. "Doctor? You take care now."

"You too." the Doctor smiled. "Chops an' gravy!"

"No, but you be careful." Carmen said seriously. "Because your song is ending, sir."

The Doctor's smile disappeared as he remembered Ood Sigma using those exact words and the Ood had been correct about Donna becoming the Doctor-Donna. "What d'ya mean?" he asked uneasily.

"It is returning. It is returning through the dark." Carmen said ominously. "And then, Doctor... oh, but then... he will knock four times." She gave him a sad look then went off with her husband, leaving the Time Lord rattled at this revelation.

The Doctor looked over to where Christina was being led to a police car. Having a change of hearts, he flashed his sonic screwdriver at her cuffs, unlocking them. Christina smirked as she felt the cuffs come undone. She slid into the car's back seat, then promptly got out the other side and made a break for it.

"No!" the D.I yelled. "Stop that woman! Stop her! Don't just stand there, stop her!"

"What do you think, Miss Whitland? Should we stop her?" Magambo asked Zara from where they were watching near the mobile lab.

"Well, we wouldn't have made it back without her help and technically her crime's not under our jurisdiction..." Zara shrugged.

"I agree, Miss Whitland." Magambo nodded, and they watched as Christina ran into the bus and sat in the driver's seat, shutting the doors in the D.I's face,

"Open that door!" he demanded. "I'll add resisting arrest!"

"I'd step back if I were you." the Doctor said, sauntering over.

"I'm charging you too!" the D.I rounded on him. "Aiding and abetting!"

"Yes," the Doctor said innocently, "I'll just step inside this box and arrest myself." He headed back to the TARDIS.

"Out, now!" the D.I growled, pounding on the bus' doors.
Christina just gave him a cheeky wave and started up the bus, which levitated off the ground.
"No! Come back!" the D.I shouted futilely.

As the bus hovered over the TARDIS, it stopped and Christina called down to the Doctor. "We could've been so good together."

"We were." the Doctor called back, and the bus promptly flew off into the night.

"Now there's something ya don't see every day." Zara commented, then turned to Magambo. "Permission to be excused, Captain."

"Permission granted, Miss Whitland." Magambo acknowledged. "Can I expect your after-action report tomorrow?"

"First thing in the morning, Captain." Zara replied, and set off on the long walk home.

Author's notes: As promised, here's Zara having an adventure with the Doctor. I figured this episode would be a good one for Zara to turn up again in, given U.N.I.T's role and having her get swept up in the happenings on San Helios would be fun. Zara was indeed fun to write in this episode, especially her interactions with the Doctor, as she takes Shareen's usual role as the person to call the Doctor out on his inappropriate behaviour. The more I watch this episode, the more I realise that it's basically a dress rehearsal for the forthcoming Moffat-era, as this episode could quite easily work as an 11th Doctor episode. Anyway, next time we'll be returning to Shareen and be seeing the return of her worst nightmare: the Master. See ya then!