Crumpled Horn Plot Bunnies
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Harry Potter or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
Year Four... Before the First Task...
Harry had planned on going up to get his invisibility cloak-Hagrid had asked him to meet him at his hut after dinner, and Harry wanted to get a move on. But, Professor McGonnagal had stopped him and Hermione at the portrait entrance to Gryffindor Tower, with some grave news.
"I'm afraid Mister Weasley's in the Hospital Wing," McGonnagal had said, "he suffered what appeared to be a Grand Mal seizure."
"A Grand Mal seizure?!" Hermione gasped. Harry frowned deeply.
Sure, he and Ron were on the outs right now, but... A stroke of all things?
"Or some other episode," she said, "he's been in and out of consciousness all day. If you'd like, I can take you to see him?"
Harry grimaced. He had to meet with Hagrid... But on the other hand... Despite everything...
"Sure," Harry managed.
"Yes, please!" Hermione said, smiling widely.
McGonnagal led them to the Hospital Wing, and let them go in alone. Ginny, in tears, was led away by Fred and George. The two groups stopped in front of one another.
"Is he all right?" Hermione asked urgently.
"He's better," Fred said, looking grim. "Wasn't very fun to watch him scream and struggle for an hour."
"They think he'll be okay though," George added, squeezing Ginny's shoulder. "It wasn't pretty though."
Ginny sniffled, still looking scared and worried. Harry managed a nod and a smile to her.
"I'm sure he'll be okay," Harry said, "he'd never want to miss a meal, right?"
"R-Right!" Ginny managed, biting back another sob. The Weasley siblings headed off, Harry and Hermione watched them go. Only then did they walk over to the hospital bed where Ron was lying.
He looked pale-Even paler than usual. Bags were under his eyes, which were bloodshot right through. Harry smiled at him encouragingly.
"Ron? How are you feeling?" He asked.
"We're here for you, Ron," Hermione said softly. She sat next to him, and patted his shoulder.
Ron cringed away from her touch, a look of guilt and self loathing on his face. Harry frowned deeply.
"Ron?"
"Harry... Hermione," Ron rasped, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Hermione asked. Ron's lips trembled, as though he was struggling not to cry.
"For... For so much... So much you don't even know," Ron took a few deep breaths, "I... Merlin, I don't even know where to begin..." He took a deep, shuddering breath. Hermione frowned, and leaned in closer. Ron again pulled away from her.
"Ron? You can tell us," Hermione said, "we're your friends-"
"I can't," Ron stated firmly. "Not... Not now... I mean, not all of it." He looked up at Harry, so filled with remorse that Harry couldn't help the urge to hug him. Ron looked more shaken and terrified than he'd ever seen him-Not even when he'd been in Aragog's nest had he looked this bad.
Ron took a few deep breaths, before he got himself under control. He looked up at Harry intently.
"First things first, though," Ron said, "I'm sorry for... For thinking you cheated. For being jealous, for being a-a git, for being..." He looked at Hermione in shame, and then back to Harry.
"I-I forgive you, Ron," Harry said sincerely. He walked up to the side of Ron's hand, and rested a hand on his shoulder, "I forgive you. I really do. We're best mates, after all."
Ron shook his head, and laughed in a hollow sort of way.
"Yeah... Yeah, we are," Ron managed, as though it was a joke that just wasn't funny. "Anyway... Um... I'm going to start making up for how I acted. Right now."
He looked into Harry's eyes.
"The first task is dragons, Harry," Ron stated.
Harry and Hermione's eyebrows shot up high. Hermione gasped.
"How do you know?" Hermione asked.
Ron took a few more deep breaths.
"Charlie wrote me," Ron said, "he couldn't be, ya know, completely open about it but... I could read between the lines. He's brought four nesting mothers-You'll have to steal a golden egg from their nest."
"But how-?" Harry tried, but Ron interrupted him.
"Percy. He complained about having to get four sets of things for the Triwizard, and he was daft enough to tell me what they were," Ron said.
Harry and Hermione looked at one another, and Ron cringed.
"I swear, it's the truth!" Ron insisted. "There's a Hungarian Horntail! A Welsh Green! A Chinese Fireball! And a Swedish Short-Snout! Please Harry! Look, I know I'm a jealous git! I know I'm an idiot! But please believe me-I don't want you to get killed!" He was close to tears.
Harry nodded.
"I believe you, Ron," he said, and he did. Something in the desperation of Ron's voice and face... It wasn't a lie. And who would lie about such a thing after going through whatever Ron had?
"Why did you ask Percy about all this?" Hermione asked suspiciously. Ron looked away.
"... Because I was an evil, stupid bastard," he mumbled. "I thought I could get in good with one of the Champions if I knew the details of their tasks. Help them out."
Ron looked down at his hands, which were shaking.
"I was such a piece of shit," Ron mumbled, "I deserve to die."
"No!" Harry insisted angrily. Ron looked up at him. "No Ron! You're helping me! And no matter what you did, I... I mean, you may have saved my life. And... And I would never want to lose you."
Ron broke down in tears. He grabbed Harry in a hug, and while incredibly awkward, Harry hugged him back and patted him comfortingly. He looked over at Hermione in shock, but she had no more answers than he did.
"Thank you Harry," Ron sniffled, "thank you...!"
"It's okay, Ron, really!" Harry insisted. "Really!"
Hermione mouthed "brain damage?' at Harry, and the Boy-Who-Lived shrugged.
Ron let Harry go, and wiped his eyes. He shuddered again, and smiled at Harry. He still looked so sad... And guilty, when he looked over at Hermione. He very gingerly took her hand in his, though he seemed to be struggling with that.
"Hermione," Ron said earnestly, "no matter what... I want us to be friends. I know, pretty much all we have in common is Harry but... But you're still my friend, and I don't deserve you, and you're just... Just amazing."
Hermione flushed deeply.
"Er... Thank you Ron," Hermione said. She patted him on the palm, and he smiled at her.
"I think of you... Like a brother?" Hermione tried. Ron's face turned green, and he grabbed a bucket. He hurled his guts out into it, as Hermione and Harry cringed in sympathy.
"I-I mean-I'm sorry, Ron!" Hermione wailed, "are you all right?!"
"i-I'm fine, I'm fine!" Ron managed, putting the bucket aside. He grabbed some water and gargled with it, spitting it out in the bucket. He drank down the rest, and took deep breaths. "Sorry... Uh... I just want you to know...?"
"Yes...?" Hermione prompted.
"That... If anyone tries to Love Potion you, I will murder them," Ron said savagely, "I will personally feed them to fucking Aragog."
Hermione blinked rapidly.
"I-Thank you Ron, but-Wait, has that happened-?"
"NO!" Ron shouted, but his voice softened, "no. And it's never going to. I swear, Hermione. When you get married, you'll do it because you really love the bloke. Not because of any potion." He looked to Harry. "Same for you!"
Harry blinked, even more confused.
"Er," Ron tried, "not that you'll marry a bloke-But if you do, I don't mind! I-I will fight for your right to marry a bloke if you want-!"
"That's okay, Ron! That's really okay!" Harry said, fighting a laugh. Ron smiled back, finally looking almost happy.
They did talk a little afterwards, about this and that. Ron suggested a few spells for the dragon, which he said he'd learned from Charlie over the years. Hermione resolved to put together a training plan, and Harry was eager to begin. Madam Pomfrey finally waved them away, saying Ron needed his rest.
Before they left though, Harry rested a hand on Ron's shoulder and smiled.
"I'm glad we're friends again, Ron," Harry said.
Ron shook his head.
"We'll never stop being friends, Harry," he said, and looked to Hermione, "Hermione. I swear it. To the end and beyond."
Hermione giggled.
"S-Sorry! Sorry! You sounded so dramatic!" She beamed at him. "But I'm glad you're doing better, Ron."
"Me too, Hermione," Ron said with a nod, "me too."
The two left, in higher spirits than before.
"So... The Grand Mal Seizure wouldn't damage his brain too much, right?" Harry asked. Hermione shook her head.
"Well, with magical medicine, probably not... But it could cause a lot of changes," she admitted. "Still, I mean... He seemed..." She frowned, looking for the right word.
"More mature?"
Harry nodded.
"As mature as he can get, anyway," Harry said, and they laughed at the gentle ribbing of their mutual best friend.
Back in the Hospital Wing, Ron sighed and stared up at the ceiling.
It had been a near thing... He could still see him.
Fat, pale, balding, with greedy eyes over his long nose. He looked like a weasel, or a rat. His memories felt like sludge and slime in his own mind.
He could still see the visions of his future the fat bastard had shown him.
"Ronniekins, you know you'll never attract a girl on your own. All you've got going for you is being Harry Potter's best friend, and that's it. You got there first. That's the best you can do. But give Hermione these potions every day, and she'll fall for you! Your loving wife, who supports you! You won't survive without someone to take care of you, after all! Don't worry... I look after even the least of my sons."
"I'm sorry for being upset about you abandoning us Ron! Good thing Dumbledore knew you would and gave you that deluminator to guide you back! I'm not upset at all that you cheated on me with Lavender again! I love you, and always will! Now, don't forget to slip me the lust potion again!"
"Ugh, Harry's such a pill of a husband! Even with all those potions he's just so... Damaged. So boring! I'm glad none of my children were fathered by him! You should keep it in your pants, Ron, Hermione's going to be Minister some day! Too many bastards running around will ruin your meal ticket!"
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, RON?! EVERYTHING I EVER DID FOR YOU-URGH! RON-NO! NOOOO!"
"YOU WERE MY BROTHER, RON! HOW COULD YOU KILL HERMIONE?! HOW COULD YOU DO ANY OF IT?! YOU'RE GOING TO AZKABAN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"
The worst part...? That fat bastard, when he'd sensed Ron's guilt and horror, had just laughed.
"Oh, you stupid boy. I accepted long ago I was nothing. Just the least important son of a family of wonders. I had nothing to me but what luck gave me. So I used potions! So I lied! So I killed my wife! So I cheated on her! So I made sure my best friend's life was a living hell! I was the victim! They were smarter, stronger, better than me! But I enslaved them! I made them mine! It was so easy! All I had to do was just not care about anything... But me."
The fat bastard grinned.
"Don't you get it? I don't want you to change anything. Except make the love and loyalty potions stronger! Avoid those mistakes! You do this perfectly, and Hermione will be our hot little breadwinner, and Harry our walking, talking Gringrotts Vault. You'll have anything-We'll have anything we want, and we'll never end up in Azkaban to begin with! Hell, you can just off Harry after he takes care of Voldie! Take all the credit! You can be the real hero, Ron!"
"You can change the future! It's what we deserve!"
Ron shuddered again. He didn't think he could ever feel clean. That bastard had tried to overwrite him, make him into... Into him.
It had almost killed him... But somehow... Somehow, he was still here. Still in control.
He'd lost a lot of the memories the bastard had shoved into his brain. Some seemed important, but he didn't know why. Some were bizarre.
Many of them were mortifying, and he didn't think he could ever look at Hermione again without thinking of what that bastard had done to her...
He took deep breaths again, trying to calm himself.
In the end though... He'd managed to win.
They were in his mind, a mental landscape that resembled a chessboard. The fat bastard laid before him, beaten and bloody. Ron wasn't much better, feeling exhausted and burned.
But he was still on his feet, and still burning with rage and hatred.
"You'll never escape it, boy," the old man wheezed, "we both know we're nothing. We're parasites. Draining everything out of people blessed. They don't deserve it-We do! It doesn't matter how hard you work, you'll never be anything to them! You'll always be NOTHING!"
Ron was silent for a moment. He sucked in a deep breath through his nostrils, and turned his rage into a gigantic dragon. It roared over them, and the fat bastard paled in horror.
"Then I'll be nothing," Ron growled, cold and direct, "but I'll never be you."
The dragon charged, and the memory of his future self screamed as he was burned to nothing...
Ron took more deep breaths. He had so much to do... So much to make up for.
He laid back, and closed his eyes.
That Ron Weasley had wanted to change the future, huh? Well... Fine. This Ron Weasley was going to change the future.
And hard.
Because why should Harry or Hermione have all the fun of changing a dark, terrible future timeline? And it's a good twist on Ron the Death Eater-Future Ron may be a rat bastard, but past Ron doesn't have to be.
