Crumpled Horn Plot Bunnies
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Harry Potter or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
Look, I'm not gonna write a whole epic for this idea. I've got more than enough on my plate. But I can write a bit more to flesh out what this Ron might do.
A bag of galleons landed on the table in front of Hermione. She looked up in shock, at Ron and Harry. The rest of the Common Room was thankfully quiet, so no one paid them any attention.
"Ron, Harry what is this?" Hermione asked. Ron sat down across from her, while Harry sat at her side. She'd noticed Ron had been keeping his distance from her a lot more often, which... Was rather strange.
"This," Ron said with a small smile, "is your cut of the sale we finished up."
"Sale? What sale?" Hermione asked. She leaned forward and examined the bag's interior. Her jaw dropped as she saw just how many Galleons were in there. "What the-?!"
"Shhh," Harry muttered, "quiet!"
"Where did you get this money?!" Hermione hissed, "there's gotta be ten thousand Galleons in here!"
"At least, yeah," Ron agreed, "more's been delivered to your parents... But I wanted to see your reaction."
"Where did you get all this?!" Hermione demanded. Harry grinned.
"The Basilisk, of course," he said.
"The Basilisk?!" Hermione cried, but she lowered her voice as Ron and Harry waved their hands. She waited until the eyes on them looked elsewhere, and she cleared her throat.
"What do you mean, the Basilisk?" She asked softly, but in a deadly tone.
"I looked up the going value on Basilisk bits," Ron said with a smile, "and it turns out... A sixty foot long, thousand year old basilisk is worth around... What was it, Harry?"
"Three point five million galleons," Harry said with a grin. "We gave a cut of fifteen percent to Gringrotts to take it off our hands and dice it up. And the rest of the money is ours."
"We gave you a third of what's left," Ron said cheerfully, "that's a lot of text books, huh?"
Hermione goggled at them in disbelief.
"I... When did you do this?!" She cried.
Both boys grinned.
"Just now," Harry said.
"But we wanted it to be a surprise," Ron added.
"I..." Hermione looked between them, "who's idea was it?"
"Ron's, actually," Harry said with a grin. Ron nodded.
"I still can't believe you let me keep the third," Ron groaned, "I just wanted enough for a few other things! You killed the thing!"
"Are you kidding, mate?" Harry asked in disbelief, "it was your idea and you talked to Dumbledore about it! You got the goblins to come through Bill! I've got more than enough money, you should have some of your own!"
"I don't even know what I'm gonna do with all of the rest," Ron groaned, rubbing his face in irritation.
"You've whined about being poor your whole life and now you're upset you're rich?" Hermione goggled, nearly laughing. Ron shrugged, avoiding her eyes.
"I'm... Ya know... It's a big change," he said. "Plus, ya know... I don't wanna start prancing around like Malfoy. Be a rich git and all."
Harry chuckled.
"Come on Ron. You're never gonna prance like Malfoy. You're too manly."
"Probably not, but I just wanna make sure," Ron said. Hermione beamed, and reached out to pat Ron on the hand. She squeezed his hand when he tried to pull away.
"Ron... This is very sweet," Hermione said warmly, "and... I'm proud of you for doing something to change your situation! It was very... Mature! And inspired!"
Ron managed a slow nod.
"I... Yeah, thank you," he mumbled. He sighed. "I just... I could have solved a lot of my problems if I'd just used my bloody head. I just got so obsessed with what I didn't have... And didn't want to work for it. Felt..." He made a disgusted face, "entitled to it."
"Well, you worked for it here," Harry said encouragingly. Hermione nodded.
"Yeah! I'd have never thought of doing this!" Hermione said happily. "Your family's gonna flip!"
"Yeah, my mum and dad sure did," Ron chuckled sadly. "Anyway, I gave enough to Saint Mungo's for Ginny's mind healing-"
"Mind healing?" Hermione asked. Ron nodded.
"Yeah, it's like Muggle therapy. She's... I mean, after Riddle and all... She's still had nightmares. Mum's been trying to pretend she' okay... And Ginny's been trying to pretend but..." Ron shook his head.
"She's... Not," Ron admitted quietly.
Silence fell on the three friends. Which Harry broke with a hopeful smile.
"But she will be."
Ron smiled back, and nodded firmly.
"Yeah. She will be."
"Now," Hermione said sweetly, "will you please send this bag of gold to my bank account before I beat you over the heads with it?"
"Right, right..."
Ron still suffered headaches after the 'incident'. He kept drinking potions to alleviate the pain, but it didn't help as much as he would like.
It wasn't like he could explain he'd gotten a garbled version of his evil bastard future self's memories into his head.
Hell, most of them didn't make a lick of sense. Ron didn't know if it was because his future self had deliberately sabotaged them when he learned Ron wasn't gonna play his game, or if he had just done a shitty job of casting the spell.
Hell, maybe it was both.
So he could be forgiven for not noticing when Draco Malfoy flounced up with his goons... What were their names again? Fuck...
"So Weasel, you think you're somehow on my level just because you lucked out and came into some money?" Draco sneered across the hallway.
Ron sipped his potion, and rubbed his forehead.
"Malfoy, bugger off," Ron muttered, "I'm not in the mood to be annoyed by Lord Daddy Issues."
Draco growled.
"Don't you think you can get away with insulting me, Weasel! You think you're-HEY! Get back here!"
Ron stumbled into a small, blonde Ravenclaw. He caught her before she fell. He blinked into her large eyes, and she blinked back.
"Hello Ronald," Luna Lovegood said with a soft smile, "it's been a while since we saw each other."
Ron frowned deeply. He was getting his emotions under better control but... Seeing Luna...
He pulled her into a hug, and rubbed her back.
"I'm so sorry for all the times I called you Looney," Ron murmured, "you deserved so much better. I wish I'd been a better friend, too. I still remember the day you came over... When your mum..." He trailed off.
The Fat Bastard had lusted after Luna, but regarded her as a nutcase. Ron had been doing a lot of re-examination of his own memories in turn, and... He really didn't like anything that even remotely resembled what that Fat Bastard thought.
Luna hugged him back, and kissed him on the cheek.
"It's okay Ronald," Luna said, "you're much better than you give yourself credit for. You know, I missed playing house. Would you like to play it now?"
"Sure," Ron said with a smile, "that sounds fun."
"HEY! Weasel! Looney! I'm talking here!" Draco shouted. Ron snapped his fingers, and Draco's yelling was muted.
"Wandless silencing charm?" Luna asked, as they walked away, "that's very advanced."
"Yeah, well," Ron shrugged, "learned it for shitty reasons-May as well use it for good ones now."
"Yes, definitely now," Luna said with a nod.
Goddamnit...!
He knew. He fucking knew Moody was the bad guy! It was there, in pieces! The Fat Bastard knew but he hadn't been able to piece it together-Fuck!
Now he had Harry hostage and he was going to kill him-He couldn't get to the castle soon enough-!
Ron skidded to a halt. He focused, and held up his wand. Hermione stopped a few feet ahead of him.
"Ron?! What are you-?!"
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Ron shouted. Hermione eep'd as a massive silver form erupted from his wand. Ron allowed himself a smirk.
No, it wasn't a terrier... But it wasn't a rat, either. That's what the Patronus had become for the Fat Bastard, after enough time.
It was a hound. An Irish Wolfhound, if he wasn't mistaken. Time to do some hunting.
"Go, protect Harry, bite the fake Moody's hands off!" Ron ordered. His Patronus dashed away, shooting right for the castle. Hermione stared.
"Wha-A Patronus can't harm people-!"
"Oh trust me," Ron said with a savage grin, "there are all sorts of things you can do with a Patronus."
Harry had discovered most of them. Even love potioned out of his mind by the evil bitch his sister had become, he had found all sorts of uses for the spell. At least the Fat Bastard had paid attention...
Cuz Ron Bashing's for chumps and JK Rowling.
