Crumple Horned Plot Bunnies

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Harry Potter or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.


"Where'd he go?! Where is he?!"

Harry cringed in the hole he had fallen in. It was dark and musty, and smelled old, like no one had been here for ages. But the hole offered him some brief respite. Darkness was always kind to Harry. It kept him safe.

He slowly stood up, and looked around. He couldn't see much-Only the light of the late afternoon sun illuminated his surroundings. Above was the park, where his tormentors were rushing about. Here...

He saw a flicker of blue, and he walked towards it. He was so small, it was easy to get there, in this cave. Though he had to bend down a bit to get under a tree root.

He spied a little stone platform-Built like a little pyramid, with a flat stone table in front. The hint of blue came from markings on the stone. Harry reached out to touch the stone... And suddenly... The writing lit up bright blue.

It was all around him, countless blue markings, rotating around him like stars in a planetarium. Harry looked around in wonder.

What do you seek?

Harry, startled, looked around for the source of the voice.

What do you seek?

It took Harry a moment to realize the voice was in his head. It was strange, but not... Terrifying. Despite everything, he felt very calm.

"... I don't know," Harry said at last. "Maybe... A home? A family that loves me? Not... Not being alone, anymore."

It is not impossible to accomplish this, the voice said, but it must be with your own efforts.

"I can't do it alone!" Harry cried. The six year old felt so miserable. He hadn't even known his own name until recently. He'd been called 'Freak' or 'Boy' for so long... Harry...

"I want to be Harry!" He sobbed.

Then you will be Harry, the voice said, and you will have the wisdom needed to be that... And more. Much more. What will you sacrifice?

"Huh?" Harry asked.

You cannot get something for nothing, the voice said, what will you give up?

"Anything!" Harry begged. "ANYTHING!"

The voice... chuckled, almost fondly.

Anything is a dangerous thing to offer, young Harry, the voice said, but I too was young once. My price will not be high... And for the wisdom you gain? It will be to your advantage.

That was all the warning Harry got, before fingers reached out of the darkness for his left eye, and his right leg...


Five years later...


Minerva McGonnagal, Assistant-Head Mistress of Hogwarts, was relaxing in the Hospital Wing with her old friend Poppy Pomfrey. They were drinking some fine scotch and reminiscing about previous classes. The windows were open, allowing them to enjoy the summer breeze before the looming prospect of this year's class would threaten...

When Rubeus Hagrid kicked the doors opened and stormed in, carrying a boy in his arms. Both witches were on their feet in an instant.

"Rubeus?! What is it? Who's this?!" McGonnagal demanded.

"It's Harry, Professor," Hagrid said, his eyes full of tears, "it's Harry! I needed ter get 'im here!"

"What? That's Harry-Harry Potter?" McGonnagal cried.

"Yes, I am, and I keep telling Hagrid here that I'm fine," Harry said earnestly. He struggled out of Hagrid's grip, and landed a little unsteadily on the floor with the help of a wooden walking stick. He stood up, and smiled cheerfully.

"Hello! You must be Professor McGonnagal, right? I got your letter," he said with a beam.

Pomfrey and McGonnagal both looked the boy over. He was a bit slender for his age, but not dangerously so. He wore decently fitted jeans and a red jumper. HIs trainers were in decent shape. He wasn't wearing glasses-Quite unlike his father, Minnie noted-and aside from the scar on his face he was untouched.

"What is it?" Pomfrey asked. Hagrid scowled.

"Harry. Show 'em," he stated. Harry sighed.

"I told you, my doctors know what they're doing-"

"Harry! Please?" Hagrid asked, tears pouring down into his beard. Harry shrugged. He reached up to his left eye... And popped it out. Poppy and Minerva both gasped.

"Relax, it's a fake," Harry said. He tossed it to Pomfrey, who caught it in shaking hands. "I've got more at home."

"And the other'in?" Hagrid prompted. Harry huffed, and pulled up his right pant leg. McGonnagal gaped-His leg, right up to the bottom of his thigh, was artificial. He undid some straps, and, balancing easily on his real leg, handed his prosthesis to the professor.

"And I'm missing a leg," Harry stated. He rolled his remaining eye. "It's hardly something to get excited over! It happened years ago!"

"Those Muggles did it!" Hagrid raged. "He said it himself!"

"It was an accident!" Harry insisted. "I fell in a hole and lost my eye and leg. Dudley found me and carried me to the hospital! My aunt and uncle came in! When they saw what happened, they actually started treating me well!" He held up his walking stick with a grin. "Got this made out of the tree that made me trip and fall!"

"Oh, Harry," Minerva sighed sadly. Harry hopped over, and took her hand.

"Look: What's done is done," Harry explained, "so please... Don't go freaking out. I'm fine. Really."

He turned to Hagrid and smiled.

"But thanks for worrying about me," he said kindly.

"We're checking you over, just to be sure," Pomfrey stated. Minerva nodded. Harry shrugged.

"If you insist."

Other than the loss of his eye and leg, Harry was actually in perfect health. Pomfrey immediately suggested some magical protheses that would make it easier to get around, and McGonnagal did the transfiguration required to give Harry a better, more responsive leg. Harry glad took it. He could get an artificial eye that would let him see, but that would take longer.

Harry was in no rush. He was happy just to learn about magic, and he got McGonnagal to talk about his parents for a while. That was very enjoyable for the young boy.

Eventually though, Hagrid noted the time and winced.

"We gotta get yer school things before the shops close!" Hagrid cried. Harry smiled warmly.

"So, do you think I could visit again before the term starts?" Harry asked. "Please? I mean, if I'm gonna be going to this school, I'll need to know how to get around with my leg and eye and all."

"It's... Not against the school code, Mister Potter," McGonnagal said with a smile, "so I'm fine with that."

"Thank you Professor," Harry said with a nod. He smiled at Pomfrey as well. "Thank you for your help, Madame Pomfrey. This new leg is great!"

"You-You're very welcome, Harry," Pomfrey said, her eyes still a bit red from some tears she'd tried to hide.

Hagrid and Harry headed out, Harry gently rebuffing the giant's offers to ride on his back. Minerva and Poppy watched them go.

Minerva took a deep breath.

"Going to go yell at Albus?" Poppy asked.

"Yes," Minerva growled.

"Good. Me too."


Funny enough, rather than being an object of pity, Harry Potter was cheerful and outgoing when he got here for the start of the term. Despite being a Gryffindor, he easily went to the Slytherin tables to talk excitedly with Draco Malfoy. Harry had discovered they were second cousins, and his affable nature let him engage with the Malfoy scion.

The two boys were able to talk quidditch and other subjects, and snarked at each other like brothers.

Even taking up with Ron Weasley as a friend hadn't damaged his relationship with Malfoy-Harry managed things between them so well that they were able to at least be civil.

It was a bridge too far for Malfoy to be civil with Miss Hermione Granger, a Muggleborn, but Harry had pulled the studious and shy girl out of her shell and even got her to laugh frequently.

He wandered about the Great Hall during meals, scarcely taking time to eat in favor of just talking and connecting. Far from the socially awkward and reclusive boy Minerva feared he would be, Harry was a social butterfly.

He was even happily civil to Severus Snape, never letting any of the man's insults or put downs affect him. This infuriated Snape even more.

Which Minerva couldn't help but enjoy.

That said, her biggest surprise came in the first Transfiguration class she had with the lad. He and Ronald Weasley were both late. He walked up to her desk, where she was sitting in cat form, and cheerfully scratched her behind her ears.

"We made it, the Professor's not here!" Weasley sighed happily.

"Nah, she is," Harry said, "but she's so cute I can't help scratching her behind her ears."

McGonnagal had immediately returned to human form, scowling at Harry. He smiled back at her, as Ron gaped.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for being late," she said calmly. Harry shrugged.

"That's fair," he said, as he headed to his desk and sat down. Minerva shook her head, fighting a smile.

"Now, today we will begin learning the amazing art of Transfiguration," she began, "learning how to not only change one thing into another, but give things life. To create and destroy, to make wonders out of nothing! And to even change your form, just as I have demonstrated. So, we will begin with the first exercise-Turning matches into needles."

The class had begun, diligently waving their wands and following the instructions. Minerva walked among the students, looking over their work and offering advice or suggestions. She stopped by Harry's desk, and she frowned. The boy was still reading the instructions, not even taking out his wand.

She didn't show favoritism. She really tried to be fair. But when it came to Harry...

"Potter? Something wrong?" She asked.

"Hm? Oh no, I was just wondering if you could demonstrate it for me?" Harry asked. He absent mindedly adjusted his fake eye. "I'm... I mean, I get the idea, but seeing it done might make it easier to grasp."

Minerva smiled. That was perfectly acceptable-Maybe he just learned better by seeing.

"All right, watch closely," Minerva said. She waved her wand in well practiced motions, and one of the matches became a needle. Harry hummed.

"One more time, but a little more slowly?" Harry asked. Minerva nodded, and repeated the procedure, just a bit more slowly.

"Ohhh!" Harry grinned. "Oh! I see!"

Minerva nodded.

"Now you do it," she said encouragingly, seeing a young James Potter in his place.

Harry held out his hand, and waved it in a circle... And all the matches transformed into needles instantly. McGonnagal's jaw dropped, as several nearby students gawked.

"P-Potter?" McGonnagal asked in disbelief. "How...?"

"Hm? Oh! Right, I'm supposed to do it with a wand," Harry said, bowing his head. "Sorry. Here..."

He pulled out his wand, waved it, and all the needles became matchsticks again. He waved it back, and they all returned to their metallic states instantly. Harry looked up at her.

"Did I do it right, Professor?"

Minerva got her mouth working again.

"I... Yes! Very good, Mister Potter! Fifty points to Gryffindor!" She said. "How did you do it wandlessly?!"

Harry blinked, and shrugged.

"Well... I mean, when you see what the magic does, you just have to convince the magic to do it again, right?" He asked. "It was easy to see."

"Easy to see... Magic?" Minerva asked, feeling faint. "You can see magic?!"

Harry smiled, and again adjusted his fake eye. For an instant, Minerva spotted a faint glow behind it.

"Well... Yeah. Can't you?"


Good set up for a more subtle power up for Harry. Thanks to an Ancient Norse altar, he got mage sight for his left eye, and an overall power boost for his right leg. Not that he really understood that at the time.

And naturally the Dursleys had to be nicer to him, because picking on their poor, disabled nephew would make them look awful to the neighbors. So Harry learned to see the bright side of things, and not let his physical state get him down.

And hey: Just because you give Harry a big power up doesn't mean he has to be a jerk or edgy, right?