Crumpled Horned Plot Bunnies
A Harry Potter fanfic by Andrew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Harry Potter is the property of J. K. Rowling and Warner Brothers, please support the official release.
Harry got hit with the Killing Curse by Voldemort... In Year 4. Dumbledore, upon learning this, sighs deeply.
Dumbledore: "Well. My plan is now ruined."
Harry: "What plan?"
Dumbledore: "I'd been working on a plan to raise you into becoming a willing martyr so you'd die to Tom after destroying his remaining Horcruxes-Soul anchors-that kept him from dying. Only by using that loophole, your mother's protection and the fact you had a fragment of Tom's soul in your scar, would have let you survive and then defeat him for good. So now... We need a new plan to defeat Tom."
Harry: "What did you have in mind?"
Dumbledore: smiles "Well, as it turns out, without Tom's soul fragment drawing on your power, your magical potential has now more than doubled! Which means... I can teach you how a real wizard fights."
Harry: "Really?"
Later... Snape is dodging deadly spells amidst a crowd of animated golem dummies. Harry and Dumbledore are flinging incredibly lethal magic around while laughing.
Dumbledore: "Ahhh! This takes me back! The war was glorious! I once created a firestorm that incinerated a whole battalion of Gellert's forces!"
Harry: "Really sir? You... Enjoy violence?"
Dumbledore: "Tremendously! I mean, you have all this raw, incredible magical power and you don't get to show it off blowing up bastards who bloody deserve it? It's so unfair. I have to be a 'role model', a 'proper example', a 'beacon of Light' when all I wanna do is just cut loose and start blowing stuff up! Calling down lightning! Embracing the fury of the elements! How does that sound, Harry?"
Harry: "It sounds... Bloody brilliant!"
Dumbledore: laughs "Ah, maybe I should have gone with this plan from the start! All right! I'll teach you how to start a firestorm! It's really not that complicated when you know the physics-Severus! I suggest you bunker down for this one, and use the Bubblehead Charm!"
Snape: "Can't I not be a target dummy, Headmaster?"
Dumbledore and Harry: "NO."
Snape: sobs
A bit short, but I hope it made you laugh. A nice twist on Harry suddenly getting superpowers and Dumbledore's reaction to it.
