* Lemon Alert * Bella has her first sexual experience after performing a scene for her theater group.

Chapter 21

As I settled into college life, I found myself thoroughly enjoying it. I had made some great friends, and was surprised to find that I could connect with others on a much deeper level than I ever had before. It was amusing to reflect on how I had never been so open and willing to have fun with others when I was still human. Edward had always warned me that becoming a vampire would mean giving up on human experiences and interactions, but as it turned out, the opposite was true.

In my music and singing classes, I discovered that I had a great voice. My classmates and teachers all commented on my perfect pitch, and I figured it must be a vampire thing. I remembered how terrible I was at singing when I was human, but now it seemed to come naturally to me.

I joined a theater group outside of school. We were working on a small production, and I was excited to be a part of it. It was a great way to express myself creatively and to meet new people who shared my interests.

As my theater group wrapped up for the night, a few of the members invited me to join them for drinks at a nearby bar. I was always happy to be included in group activities, so I agreed. As we strolled down the street, my scene partner Henry and I were engrossed in discussing our latest scene, but the conversation came to an abrupt halt when we heard Janet, one of our fellow performers, calling out to us to wait up for her.

We all turned to wait for her, but as she darted through the intersection, I heard the deafening screech of tires. A car was barreling toward her, and there was no way it could stop in time. Acting on instinct, I placed the screeching car in my shield and quickly turned it to the left, slowing it down dramatically at the same time. The car came to a stop, narrowly missing Janet. She looked as pale as a ghost, standing there frozen in place from the close call. She had been so focused on catching up with us that she hadn't checked for oncoming traffic.

We all rushed to Janet, making sure she was okay. She was visibly shaken but thankfully uninjured. The driver of the car came out to check on her, apologizing for his reckless speeding. He had no idea just how narrowly he had escaped tragedy. After the initial shock had subsided, we continued on to the bar, trying to shake off the tension of the close call.

Once there, we enjoyed our drinks and each other's company. However, I could tell that Janet was still shaken by the incident. I was relieved to have been able to use my shield for good in a time of need, and grateful that I had been able to prevent a potentially disastrous outcome.

The following week, I was back at the theater group practicing my scene with Henry. We were doing a scene from 'Closer,' a play by Patrick Marber, which we had randomly selected. I had never heard of the play before, so I researched it and watched the movie adaptation, which had Natalie Portman playing the character I would be portraying. The scene Henry and I were rehearsing was quite suggestive, but I felt excited to perform in front of others. I was glad that I had become more confident with myself, particularly with my body, as I knew that I would never have been able to do a scene like this when I was human.

The scene we were rehearsing involved my character, Alice, and Henry playing Dan. We would talk, flirt, and then partially undress as we embraced, but the scene would end with a phone call before we could kiss. We had been rehearsing for a couple of weeks, but this was the first time we would be performing the full scene, including the partial undressing.

I was not nervous about revealing my body, but rather more interested in the feelings it would bring up since it was a new experience for me. As the scene played out, Henry and I performed flawlessly, and our flirtation was pretty good, if I do say so myself. When it was time for me to remove my shirt, I looked out into the theater hall, where the other members of the theater group were watching. I felt confident as I revealed my lacy white bra, which I thought was sexy yet still modest.

As Henry started to unbutton his shirt, I could feel my desire growing, and I began to feel a little turned on. I tried to stay in the moment and focus on my performance, but my mind kept wandering to how it would feel if this was happening with someone back at my home where we could take the scene further. I quickly pushed those thoughts away and refocused on the scene.

As Henry removed his shirt, I couldn't help but notice how well-muscled he was for a human. He must work out a lot, I thought to myself. As we embraced in a hug, I could feel my breasts pushing up against his bare chest, and I couldn't help but think, "wow."

As we leaned in for the kiss, a phone rang, abruptly ending the scene. We stepped apart and turned to face the audience, bowing as everyone clapped and some even hooted.

Quickly, we put our clothes back on and stepped off the stage.

"That was a great job Bella." Henry said as we were alone. "You know, I've worked with a lot of co-stars but I have to say, I've never felt such chemistry on stage as I did with you. I can't wait to see how we perform in front of a live audience in two weeks."

I smiled at him, feeling a sense of pride in our work. "I agree, Henry. The audience is going to love it. We really brought our A-game today."

"I know it's just acting, Bella, but I have to be honest, you really turned me on out there." Henry's eyes locked onto mine, his voice lowering with desire. "Would you like to go back to my place and see how the scene continues?"

I was thrown by what Henry just asked me. The mere thought of going back to his place and experiencing all the things that Edward would never try with me was making me feel hot and bothered. My mind started to wander, imagining Henry and I kissing passionately, him placing me on his bed, and us starting to have sex. I imagined how it would feel to be touched by someone and was quite enjoying the thought. But suddenly, the daydream took a dark turn when I moved at vampire speed and broke Henry's dick. That thought killed all the amorous feelings I was having, and I shook my head, trying to clear the images from my mind.

As I looked at Henry, I realized that while I might want him physically, I did not feel anything real for him. I wanted my first time to be with someone I cared about, someone I could trust and feel comfortable with. It did not have to be the love of my life, but I wanted it to be with someone who was more than just a one night stand. I sadly decided it was best to turn Henry down.

"While it's an intriguing offer, Henry, I think we should stay professional," I said, giving him a smile as I let him down gently.

"I understand, Bella. It was just a passing thought. The scene is quite hot, and I don't have a girlfriend at the moment, which leaves me with just 'Mr. Hand' here," Henry said, wiggling his fingers suggestively.

I couldn't help but laugh at his suggestive remark. "Well, you be sure to take 'Mr. Hand' there out for dinner first before you ask for his special kind of help," I teased.

As I drove home after the theater group had ended, I couldn't stop thinking about Henry and our steamy scene. His proposition and later admission had definitely stirred up some arousal within me, and I found myself wondering if I was missing out on something by never having pleasured myself before. Being a vampire, I had always channeled my intense urges into physical activities like running or hunting, but the idea of exploring my own body seemed intriguing. With a sly grin on my face, I decided to give it a try.

As I got home, I let out a sigh of relief that Alice and Jasper were away for a couple of days, which meant I had the house all to myself. I rushed to my room and sat on the bed, feeling excited. I had never masturbated before and had no idea what to do.

I decided to try watching some porn, like many humans do. I turned on my laptop and searched for a popular porn site. As I browsed through the endless selection of videos, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed at the wide array of choices. The site seemed to be catered mostly to men's desires, but I figured that they were just addressing the demand.

The videos were categorized into various genres, some of which piqued my interest, while others I wanted to avoid at all costs. I also noticed lists of famous pornstars' names, such as Cherry Nova, Bambi Blaze, Luna Lust, and Vixen Fox. I found myself chuckling at the outrageous names. It was all so new and intriguing to me that I wasn't sure where to begin.

Curiosity got the best of me, and I couldn't resist typing in "vampire porn" into the search bar. As I hit enter, a long list of videos popped up. I clicked on one and was immediately taken aback. The actors had put on ghastly makeup, making them look more like zombies than vampires in my opinion. I shook my head, thinking to myself, "Well, this is not what I expected. Who knew vampires could be so un-sexy?"

As I switched off the vampire porn, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how unrealistic it looked. I mean, who finds the scary makeup and fake fangs attractive? Not me, that's for sure. I quickly looked for something more my style and typed in "college sex".

A whole new selection of scenes popped up, and I scrolled through them until I found one that caught my eye. The still picture of the guy was attractive, and I couldn't help but feel a bit excited as I clicked on it to start watching.

As the scene began, the actor and actress were making out passionately, and I found myself getting drawn into their chemistry. They slowly removed their clothes, and I followed along, stripping off my own clothes until I was lying naked on the bed with my laptop next to me.

As the woman started to give the guy a blowjob, I felt a rush of excitement wash over me. It was different from the snippets of porn I had seen before as a human, and I found myself getting more and more aroused as the scene continued.

As I watched the woman give what I assumed was a good blowjob, I started to rub my breasts. It had been a while since I had experienced anything close to sexual pleasure. The only time I had ever gotten an orgasm was from the lap dance I got last year in Vegas, but that good memory had been tarnished by the disaster with Edward and our subsequent breakup.

But now, lying naked on my bed, I was determined to change that. I focused my attention on my nipples, which hardened under my touch. As the scene continued, the actors progressed to having sex, and watching it was really turning me on.

With my eyes glued to the screen, I took my hand and slowly moved it over my center, exploring myself. The feeling was incredible, and as I pushed my finger inside me, I timed it with the thrusts I was seeing on the laptop. As I watched the couple on the screen start to reach their climax, I increased the pace of my own enjoyment. I moved my finger in and out faster, feeling a tightening sensation in my lower abdomen. My breathing became ragged, and my body started to tense up as I felt my orgasm building.

As the two actors climaxed and came on the screen, my own orgasm hit me too like a wave crashing on the shore. I arched my back, my toes curling, and let out a loud scream of pleasure as the sensations washed over me. It was even better than the one I received from the lap dance. I couldn't help but move my finger in and out, riding the wave of pleasure until it slowly subsided.

As I came down from my high, I lifted up my hand and inspected my fingers, which were now sticky with my release. The pleasure still lingered within me, and I couldn't help but smile to myself. As I got up to take a shower, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and my smile widened.

Standing under the warm water, I couldn't help but think about how much I had enjoyed myself. I had discovered a new way to satisfy my desires, and it was thrilling to have such control over my own pleasure. As the water cascaded over my body, I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to experience that same pleasure with someone else.

I closed my eyes and let out a contented sigh, feeling both relaxed and invigorated. I knew that I still yearned for a partner, someone who could match my passion and intensity. But for now, I was content with the knowledge that I could fulfill my own needs. As I finished my shower and dried off, I laughed to myself at the thought of using "Ms. Hand" again. I hoped that I wouldn't have to, but if I did, I knew that I would greatly enjoy it.

Upon Alice and Jasper's return home a few days later, I couldn't help but notice the sly smirk and wink Alice directed at me. It was obvious she had seen what I had been up to. Unable to contain my amusement, I playfully mouthed the words "you perv" at her, causing us both to break out in laughter.

Jasper and I continued to train regularly, and I was proud of how far I had come. I was getting closer and closer to being a match for him, and even though he still won our matches, they lasted a great deal longer and we were both using more advanced fighting techniques and styles than ever before. Sometimes, I felt tempted to use my shield to gain an advantage, but I always resisted the urge. After all, our training sessions weren't real fights - they were just friendly competition.

In between one of our sparring matches, I asked Jasper a question that had been weighing on my mind. "What does it feel like to kill a vampire?" I asked, my voice low.

Jasper's gaze lingered on me for a long moment, and I could see him thinking over what he wanted to say carefully. Finally, he spoke. "It really depends, Bella. When I was fighting in Maria's army, killing someone - whether it was a vampire or human - meant next to nothing to me. After decades of battle, I had become numb to the violence and the death. I wouldn't have thought twice about tearing your head off and lighting you on fire right now."

I shivered at his words, but I knew he was telling me the truth. I had heard enough of his stories to understand the darkness that had once consumed him.

"Thankfully," he continued, "I finally escaped that hellhole with the help of Peter and Charlotte. But even after I left, I carried the weight of all those lives I had taken. Killing humans just made me more and more depressed, until I thought I couldn't bear it any longer."

I waited for him to continue, and he did. "It was meeting Alice that changed everything for me. She showed me that there was a different way to live, a life full of light and love. And with her help, I was able to leave my past behind and become the man you see today."

I held Jasper tightly in a hug, grateful for his honesty and vulnerability. "You're a good person, Jasper," I whispered. "Never let anyone make you think otherwise."

Jasper returned my embrace for a moment before pulling back to meet my gaze. "Thanks, Bella," he said softly. "But as to your question, if I had to kill a vampire today, it would really depend on the situation. If they were trying to attack me - maybe for a past grievance - I would understand and probably try to kill them quickly. Life among vampires can be a violent one, and sometimes, it's kill or be killed."

I nodded in understanding, knowing all too well the dangers that came with being a vampire.

"But," Jasper continued, his tone hardening slightly, "if I came across someone who tried to hurt Alice or my family, I would not hesitate to kill them. Vampires are quite vengeful if they feel their loved ones are threatened, and I am no exception. I would enjoy it, in fact."

I felt a chill run down my spine at the intensity in Jasper's words, but I also knew that he was fiercely protective of those he loved. It was one of the things that made him such a formidable ally, and an even more dangerous enemy.

"I'd like to say you'll never have to kill someone, Bella, but the reality is that vampires are immortal, and odds are that one day, you will have to fight for your life," Jasper said, his voice serious.

I nodded, knowing deep down that he was right. As much as I wished for a peaceful existence as a vampire, the truth was that danger always lurked around the corner.

"I'm glad you've put so much time into learning how to fight and defend yourself," Jasper continued, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "It's a burden off my mind knowing how deadly you can be."

I returned his smile, grateful for his confidence in me.

"My advice to you, Bella," Jasper said, his expression turning serious once again, "is that if you ever feel threatened or attacked by a vampire, do not show mercy. Being compassionate is a noble thing, but in the vampire world, it usually leads to future trouble."

I listened intently, taking his words to heart. I knew that as a new vampire, I still had much to learn about the dangerous world I now inhabited.

"Thanks for explaining it to me, Jasper," I said, sincerity in my voice. "I know that most of the Cullens have no real experience with killing or war, and I'm grateful you're here to tell me how it really is."

"Now, on a lighter note," I said, trying to shake off the weight of our previous conversation, "tell me how it feels to have a limb ripped off."

Jasper arched an eyebrow at me, but a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "That's easy," he said, his tone lightening. "It hurts like hell. Try to avoid it if you can."

I couldn't help but laugh at his smart ass response, grateful for his ability to make light of even the darkest of topics.

"Thanks for the advice," I said, still chuckling. "I'll be sure to try and keep all my limbs intact."

Jasper chuckled too, falling into step beside me as we headed back to the house.

Meanwhile, Edward was still away. The last we had heard, he was in Japan. I hoped that he was enjoying himself and not still feeling down about our breakup. Part of me wished he was back home with the family, but I knew he needed this time away to get his head in the right frame of mind and find some perspective. I just hoped that he would return and one day we could call each other friends.

On the final day of my freshman year, I went out for pizza with several of my closest friends. As we approached the counter to order, Amber asked me, "Do you want anything special on a pizza, Bella? So far, we're getting one with pepperoni, one with onions and green peppers, and one with mushrooms."

I flashed a grin and replied, "No thanks, I'm good. I think I'll just have a slice of each!" The things I did for friendship.

As we sat around the table, enjoying our pizza and catching up on each other's lives, I asked, "So, what's everyone doing for summer break?"

Jill spoke up first, beaming with excitement. "I got lucky and landed a paid internship at a publishing firm in Denver. I'm thrilled because I get to read, which is something I already love, and they're paying me for it!"

"Wow, that's amazing, Jill!" I said, genuinely happy for her.

Harry shrugged and replied, "I'll be working at my dad's law firm in Chicago. It's not the most exciting summer job, but it pays well and I need the experience."

Amber grinned and said, "I'm heading back to LA for the summer. I don't have anything lined up yet, but I'm hoping to find something interesting to do when I get there."

"And what about you, Bella?" Matt asked, taking a large bite of pizza.

"I landed a behind-the-scenes job at the main stage show at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas," I said, excitement bubbling in my voice. "I can't wait to learn about the production side of things and see all the magic that goes into creating a show!"

Dennis chuckled and interjected, "Just try not to go broke gambling."

I laughed and replied, "Don't worry, I already learned that lesson the last time I was in Vegas. But knowing myself, I'll probably have to learn it several more times."

My friends and I continued to chat and laugh, feeling glad that the school year was finally over.

My first year of college had exceeded all of my expectations. I made some wonderful friends, learned some new abilities, and significantly improved on my shield. It was the college experience I had always hoped for. As I perused the course catalogue for my second year, I decided to keep most of the courses I had taken and explore some new ones that piqued my interest. I was eager to see what the next year held in store for me. However, I couldn't help but feel disappointed that I hadn't yet met someone I was interested in romantically. After my experiences with Edward, the idea of a vampire/human romance left me disillusioned. So, for now, I would just have to wait for the right vampire to come along. At least time was not an issue.

One thing I was especially looking forward to in my second year of school was my theater groups production of "Grease". I had always loved musicals, and I knew that this would be a great opportunity to showcase my singing and acting skills. I felt confident and excited about trying out, and I hoped that I would be able to land a role in the production.

At long last, summer vacation had arrived, and I was eager to begin my new job working backstage at one of Las Vegas' major shows. Thanks to my theater teacher, I landed a position at the prestigious Colosseum at Ceasers Palace, a theater that could accommodate over 4000 people. I was thrilled beyond measure to be part of such an impressive production, and I couldn't wait to jump in and get started.

For living arrangements, I got a long-term room at Caesars Palace. As an employee there, I received a slight discount on my stay, which was a nice perk. However, I had to consciously remind myself not to dwell on money matters like I used to when I was human. The Cullens were graciously covering all of my expenses, and I had to remind myself that my future contributions to the family would far outweigh any costs incurred during my day-to-day life.

Although it was a bit of a mental adjustment for me, I knew deep down that this was the right path for me. I just had to convince my brain to let go of my old habits and embrace this new way of living. But with each passing day, it was becoming easier for me to adapt to my new lifestyle, which I was grateful for.

As soon as I arrived at the theater, I was amazed by the energy and chaos of the place. People were rushing around in all directions, carrying props and costumes, setting up lights and sound systems, and rehearsing their performances. It was a madhouse, but somehow, everything came together perfectly on stage each night.

I was assigned to work with the stagehands, helping them move sets and props between scenes. It was a lot of work, but I loved being a part of the show and seeing everything come together so seamlessly. I also got to watch rehearsals and see how the performers brought everything to life. I learned a lot about the technical side of theater production, and I gained a new appreciation for all the work that goes into creating a successful show.

Having my own place for the summer was a wonderful feeling. Although it was just a hotel room, I felt more independent than I ever had before. I still heard things I didn't want to at night, but anything was better than hearing Alice and Jasper in the throes of passion.

I made it a personal goal to visit every casino in Las Vegas before my summer job ended. I was fascinated by the different identities and gimmicks that each casino used to attract their patrons. To commemorate my visits, I began collecting a poker chip from each casino, as each one had a unique design featuring the name of the casino.

During my free time, I would often play poker with other crew members. After all, we were in Las Vegas, the poker capital of the world. I quickly discovered that my opponents were all skilled players, and I needed to improve my game if I wanted to stand a chance. So, I started practicing at different casinos at night to study different strategies and play more frequently.

By the end of the summer, I was proud to have become a much better poker player. And with my collection of poker chips, I had a physical reminder of all the different casinos I had visited and the memories I had made.

For fun, I spent many nights exploring the different dance clubs around town. There seemed to be an endless supply of dance partners, all eager to dance with me. Some of their pickup lines were quite hilarious and kept me entertained. I was hoping to find some vampires at the clubs, but so far, no luck. Perhaps there was some secret vampire club in the area and I was just out of the loop.

Eating in the desert was a little different than what I was used to, but I managed to find some animals that were the equivalent of deer. Running in the desert at night was truly beautiful, with millions of stars lighting up the sky. One of the highlights of my summer was exploring the Grand Canyon. I had visited once before with my mom as a child, but seeing it again as a vampire was a new and breathtaking experience. The vastness of the canyon was overwhelming, and I felt incredibly small standing on the edge of its cliffs. I spent hours exploring the trails and admiring the stunning rock formations.

By the time my summer job ended, I felt like I had become an expert on the Vegas Strip. I had visited every casino multiple times, with my favorite being the Aria. Working on the show had taught me a great deal about how a production comes together, and I had made some great friends with the crew. However, Vegas was very different from what I considered the "real world." It seemed to operate in its own little bubble where time had no meaning. As I headed home, I looked forward to being with my family again and returning to school for my sophomore year.


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