A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for the delay but here is the next chapter of "Kidnapped." I really love this story & am excited about what is coming up! I always wanted to give a trigger warning for dark themes and suicidal ideation in this chapter. I also want to add in that I have personally dealt with suicidal ideation, and I don't want you to think I am promoting suicide. If anything, I hope this fic can help people realize that they can get through anything and that they are not a monster worthy of death even if it feels that way! Please feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. xoxo
"Grghhhhaaaah!"
I threw another boulder into the shuddering rock cliff. The earth shook around me, and the precipice trembled. I wished it would fall and swallow me whole. I wished I could die by its impact. I wished I was mortal twice over. Mortality would mean I could die.
Mortal would mean I wouldn't need to kill.
Scraps of rock fell from the sky and landed in my open hands.
"Bella," I whispered, squeezing my hands into fists. The rocks pulverized in my hands. Sand fell through the cracks. I likewise squeezed my eyes, wishing to all heavens that I could cry, could sob, the way this poor unfortunate girl deserved.
Every muscle of my body tensed as I thought of the girl. While horrified at my behavior, I could feel it coming over me - the monster, my indefensible urge to suck her dry - and I shuddered. All I wanted was to protect her, but all my body wanted was something unthinkable.
I had washed myself in bleach, burned my clothes, but her blood couldn't leave me. It broke me. Nothing else drove me now. I could hardly keep down this nauseating animal blood. My throat ached unbearably, and the dull thud of her heartbeat wouldn't leave me alone. A relentless temptation, slowly breaking me down. Corroding me as easily as stone in my bare hand.
While my first return to Forks had been far from innocent, the intentions were not murder. No matter how I loathed to admit, I knew a second return to Forks would be purely of homicidal intent. I also knew my return to Forks was inevitable.
I slammed my fist against the stone wall and felt the cliffs cover me. I begged them to hold me back, but I knew nothing ever would.
Bella Swan doesn't stand a chance.
She was already dead.
.
.
.
A couple hours later, I stood at the telephone and waffled in indecision. To call Alice or to refrain? On one hand, I needed help - desperately. On the other hand, I couldn't afford - or rather, Bella Swan - couldn't afford for me to be given any clues.
I wondered what they'd done to her, my family. I saw enough from their minds that they'd decided to protect her. In fact, their determination to do so was strong and intense - surprisingly so. Jasper had switched in a moment from threatening the girl to defending her, and I had let him pull me away. It was the only thing to do - I let the peace pull me under.
The aftermath was anything but peaceful.
"Kill me," I screamed. "KILL ME."
My eyes were wild but my thoughts were wilder.
"Carlisle," I moaned, crawling toward him. "Please Carlisle."
He knelt beside me. My son, his thoughts a mess.
"You did this to me, Carlisle, and now I'll kill her. I'll kill her, Carlisle, and it's unbearable."
I did this, he agreed.
"You did this, Carlisle. Please, please, Father. End this. End me. Save me - save her."
Should I…? But Edward, she's your mate! Alice -
"Edward, you can't ask him to-"
"Would you die for her, Carlisle? Would you die for Esme? Let me die for her, Carlisle. Let me die for her, please. I can't stand this anymore. I can't kill her. Don't let me kill her. Please, oh God, please, Carlisle. Save her. Don't let me kill her."
He reached for me, and I recoiled.
I already knew his answer.
"You did this to me," I moaned. "You killed her. Killing her will kill me, Carlisle. You know that. Please save her. Save her."
The effects of Jasper's emotional sedative was wearing off, and the pull to find her blood was growing frighteningly. My voice grew more urgent.
"It's not like it was, Carlisle. It's not like it was before. I can't just believe my way out of this anymore. All I can smell is her blood. All I can taste is her scent. She's inside me, Carlisle."
"Edward, you can't just ask him to-"
I turned on her. "Back off, Rosalie," I spat. Her bitter countenance contrasted with the angelic one haunting my vision, and I barely held back my retort. Selfish, is what Rosalie thought.
She is pure and kind and everything you will never be, Rosalie, I thought. So how dare you accuse me of selfishness? If I die to save this girl's life, it will be the greatest act of my life.
I shuddered, because, of course, it wouldn't really be saving the girl's life. Rather, the equation was simple - my life or hers. As long as I existed, I would hunt her. Her blood was an ache from my throat resonating through my bones, hollowing me out. I would not stop until she was inside me...
Then I was reliving it - seeing her blood on my hands, the frantic grasp, and then the horror as I lifted my bloodied hand to my mouth. Despite all my inclinations, I started planning how I would find and capture the Swan girl. It shouldn't be hard - no doubt my family was guarding her. A simple glance into Emmett's mind would lay out the entirety of the plan as clearly as a blueprint -
But of course, Alice would see that coming. They would be ready for me. What would they do when I drew nearer to Forks? What would Alice do with this information? What were they willing to do to keep the girl alive?
And why?
It was the curiosity that broke me. I picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello?"
A/N: There is is! Hope you liked it! Please make sure to subscribe and leave a review. I love to see what you are thinking and also learn how I can write better!
